


Bounty

by Nemi_Almasy



Series: Bounty-Verse [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Paragade (Mass Effect), Partnership, Smut, Team as Family, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2018-11-12 06:13:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 174,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11155917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemi_Almasy/pseuds/Nemi_Almasy
Summary: Jane Shepard is a bounty hunter with a past she'd prefer to put behind her. A chance encounter with C-sec officer Garrus Vakarian presents her with an opportunity too good to pass up. Partnering up to allow Shepard better intel, and Garrus a chance at bringing in criminals outside the limits of C-sec's red tape, Shepard eventually finds herself confronting a ghost from her past, and unwittingly falling for the plucky young C-sec agent.Rated for language and sexual contentAU taking place on the Citadel





	1. Collision Course

_Bounty – something given or occurring in generous amounts; liberality in giving_

* * *

 

**2183  
Bachjret Ward - District 42**

The sound of a fully-grown male krogan snoring was something to rival a jet-engine, possibly the loudest noise in the known universe, and certainly possible to hear from five-systems over, its noise probably carrying through mass relays to project across the galaxy like a buzz-saw grinding into the ears of every single living creature.

At least, Jane Shepard thought as much as she woke unwillingly to the sound, her heartbeat throbbing behind her eyes. A pillow over the ears did nothing to deafen the noise, might have even amplified it, tunneling it directly into her eardrum like a well-placed bullet. Fortunately, or unfortunately, she’d slept through worse, but never the night after drinking twelve rounds of asari honey mead and vomiting out her insides into a filthy dive-bar toilet.

Five minutes of the snoring passed, uninterrupted, and she could no longer take the torture. She sat up, unhappy to find that the room spun around her when she moved. Her eyes opened slowly and the dim light of the room was almost too much to bear, searing into the back of her eyeballs and forcing her lids shut.

“Wrex.” Her voice was hoarse and foreign to her own ears.

The buzz-saw chugged away.

“ _Wrex_.”

Nothing.

Her hands fumbled blindly along her nightstand until she found something hard and plastic. She chucked it with as much force as she could it in the direction of the snoring and the noise stopped abruptly, replaced with a snort and a rumbling snarl.

“ _Shepard!_ ” The krogan’s deep voice seemed to shake the entire building.

She rubbed her eyes and forced them open again. The offending krogan in question had pushed himself up into a seated position in his spot on the bed across the room. His considerable size made the bed look like it belonged to a child, dwarfed beneath him. It wasn’t _his_ bed, and how he’d managed to keep the bed’s owner out of her rightful spot, through the whole night no less, was a mystery.

“You were snoring loud enough to wake the entire ward, Wrex. What the fuck are you doing in my room?”

Wrex glared at her, his blood-red eyes narrowed. He was in a state of partial undress, his shirt missing, exposing his scaly red hump and a chest marred with battle wounds; his pants were unbuttoned, but mercifully covered the most crucial parts of him.

“I _was_ sleeping,” he spat. “Until someone threw a damn alarm clock at me!”

“If you’re going to snore, don’t do it in my room. Where the hell is Jack?”

“Damned if I know. I don’t even know how I got in here!” Wrex rolled onto his back and closed his eyes. “I’m going back to sleep. Wake me when I’m sober.”

Sleep was absolutely a lost cause by that point, so Shepard stumbled from her bed, gripping along the wall to steady herself until she reached the door out into the main chamber of the crumbling little tenement she called home. She braced herself for disaster in the living room and wasn’t disappointed.

The missing occupant of the second bed in Shepard’s room was discovered quickly enough. Jack lay on her stomach on the coffee table, ass in the air, completely naked. Her head-to-toe tattoos did the work of clothes in all but the most private places of her body, which were also on full display. Beside her, on the couch, Jacob was on his back, one hand draped over the ex-soldier's face, hiding his handsome features, but not the drool trickling from his open mouth.

“Awake already? After the night you had, I would have expected you’d be out until the middle of the day cycle,” A coarse voice sounded from a table in the far corner in the kitchen.

Shepard looked in the direction of the voice and found Thane sipping coffee and reading from his datapad. The drell had never been one for liquor, always managing to abstain while the rest of them drunk themselves into stupors; it was always nice to have at least _one_ sober friend on a night out, though.

Stomach still uneasy, and the room still spinning slightly, Shepard shuffled slowly past a row of doors on the adjacent wall, into the little nook where the kitchen and dining table jutted from the main living area of her grimy, miserable apartment. She settled slowly into a seat across from Thane and slouched down, staring at his coffee with envy, and also a little nausea.

His large round eyes watched her, the corners of his lips twitching into a smile.

“Shall I get you some coffee?”

“God, please.”

He moved gracefully up out of his chair, practically floating across the room to the coffee pot. While he searched the drying rack next to the sink for a clean mug, she closed her eyes and tried to get the world to sit still for a damn second.

“How late were we out last night?” she asked.

Even the tiny sound of ceramic clinking against glass as Thane freed a mug from the rack was too much for her hangover headache to handle.

“Nearly until the morning cycle,” he replied. His voice had a grainy quality to it, like sand rubbing against stone, but at the same time it was soft and calming: a godsend after enduring krogan snoring. “Jack broke the door. You couldn’t remember the passcode and she blasted it with a mass effect field before I could get to her.”

Fucking great. They were barely making rent this month thanks to a drought in bounties and now she had a front door to replace.

“Don’t worry, Tali’s fixing it,” Thane added.

“Well thank God for Tali at least.”

She felt his hands grab hers, placing the warm mug into her grip before he let go. She opened her eyes again and inhaled deeply, hoping that just the smell of that magical elixir might somehow end the suffering her hangover was inflicting.

Thane flicked through his datapad while she sipped at the coffee. It was swill, at best, nothing like the expensive shit the rich people drank up on the Presidium, but hell if she could afford to waste twenty credits on a damn cup of bean water; it was caffeine in a cup, she didn’t really need it to be anything more.

“Any promising leads?” she asked.

“Maybe. There was a bank robbery last week.” Thane spoke without looking up from the datapad. “It looks like they caught three of the accomplices, but they haven’t found the ringleader or the money. C-sec’s running an investigation, but one of the wealthy businessman whose private lockbox was emptied is offering a ten thousand credit reward for anyone who can catch her before C-sec.”

“Ten thousand credits? Shit, we could pay all our bills this month!” She laughed, but it was deadly serious. They were already three months behind on the electric bill, barely keeping up with the water bill, and around two thousand credits short on rent.

“It would be a low-stakes job, too,” Thane said. “Solo would be best to avoid drawing attention if C-sec is on his case. Tali has the search software combing the internet for information on this woman already. There’s no name, just a blurry image from the security cameras.” He slid his datapad across the table and she examined the image.

It was a purple asari, half of her face obscured in shadow. The image _was_ poor quality, but Shepard thought she saw a dark birthmark on the underside of the asari’s chin. She told Thane as much and slid the datapad back to him to get his input.

“You might be right.” He nodded. “I’ll add it to the search software. You _can_ take on an asari on your own, right?”

Shepard pursed her lips. “I’ll be fine. But if it’s today, it’s anybody’s game. My head is fucking pounding.”

“Take something for it.”

“That requires getting up.”

He grunted in disapproval, but he still got up out of his chair and disappeared toward the bathroom to retrieve some painkillers for her.

“If we’re scouring the systems, you know C-sec will be too. You need to be ready to go as soon as we get any intel,” he told her as he placed two small pills on the table next to her coffee mug and returned to his seat.

“Fucking C-sec.”

Citadel Security had always been a thorn in the side of the wards bounty-hunters, particularly in Bachjret ward where crime was the highest in the Citadel, but up until recently, the local offices had been understaffed and overworked: the perfect storm for raking in bounties. In the past few months, however, the executor had allotted more funds to bolster Bachjret’s forces. The result had been constant run-ins with officers and missed or stolen bounties. Twice, Shepard had cornered her targets just to have C-sec swoop in at the last minute, claim jurisdiction, threaten to throw her in a cell for impeding an investigation, then leave in a hurry with what would have been her bounty.

“Yes, well, the word is they’re getting stricter. You’ll have to be careful to avoid them.”

“I swear to God if I see that ugly blue armor when I’m out on this run, I’m going to kick the ass of whatever officer gets in my way. A ten thousand credit bounty is too good to pass up. I’m not letting C-sec ruin this for us.” She clenched her fists and glared into her coffee mug.

“Assaulting an officer _is_ a crime, siha. And you have three warrants out on you right now.”

“Three now?” Shepard groaned. “I thought it was two.”

“One is from last year for destruction of property at the bar in Zakera where you knocked down the liquor shelf when Jack was trying to make you float in her mass effect field,” Thane explained coolly.

Shepard laughed. “Ha, yeah, that was fun.”

“The second one is for assault: you knocked out that krogan who was trying to grope Tali in Chora’s Den.”

“Yeah, well, he deserved it.”

“The third, and newest, is for petty theft. You drunkenly stole three hundred credits from the register behind the bar last night. The bar’s security systems tagged you and logged the offense with C-sec.”

“Oh well, that’s grocery money. You’re welcome.” She winked at him and he sighed.

Footsteps sounded from the hallway leading to the front door and Tali emerged a moment later. Despite an enviro-suit covering her from head to toe, a mirrored silver mask shielding all but her glowing eyes and the outline of her nose from view, Shepard could _sense_ the look of frustration emanating from the quarian as she brushed past them to pour herself some coffee.

“Thane said Jack broke the door.”

“I’ve been trying to fix it all morning,” Tali replied with a bitter edge. She slammed her cup onto the table and some of the coffee spilled over the edge. She stared at it, then cursed for forgetting a straw and crossed back over to the kitchen.

“I’m guessing it’s unsalvageable?” Shepard asked, desperately hoping she was wrong.

“I might have been able to do something with it, but it looks like the _full force_ of her field hit the lock mechanism and shattered it. We’ll have to buy a new one. Cheaper than an entire door, but still expensive.” Tali returned with her straw and waited for the coffee to cool down.

“ _How_ expensive?”

“Probably a thousand credits, maybe more.”

“Shit. I’ve got to get this bounty.”

“Oh, that reminds me.” Tali tapped her wrist and her omni-tool generated with a soft orange glow. Her fingers swiped across the interface for a moment. “My software pinged me as I was walking in. I got a hit on that bank robber. She has a distinctive purple birthmark beneath her chin, so that helped narrow down the search. There’s a comm I found. You know Dalan, that old turian that runs the inn at the lower end of the ward? It’s between him and someone named ‘Archangel’. It says ‘The asari you’ve been looking for is staying with me. Got a big birthmark under her chin, definitely the same one from the picture. I can keep her busy if you can get here before the other bounty hunters find her, but I want credit, so I can claim the bounty from that businessman’.”

“Well when was the comm sent?” Shepard demanded.

“Two minutes ago,” Tali said. “So I would leave now if you want to get there. Who knows where this ‘Archangel’ is coming from?”

“Of all the days for a goddamn treasure trove to land in our laps, I have to be hungover,” Shepard hissed.

“No rest for the wicked, siha.”

She crossed the apartment, back to her room, where Wrex was still snoring away on Jack’s bed. Time was money, but a change of clothes was a necessity. There were little bits of dried vomit on her shirt and her pants were ripped at the knee where she’d taken a spill the night before.

Wrex wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon, but it wasn’t as though her ragtag little squad hadn’t all seen her naked at some point or another; living together under one dilapidated roof brought people together like nothing else. She stripped out of her clothes and pulled on a new set: a pair of breathable, form-fitting pants to make running easier; a non-descript tank-top; and her old, scuffed-up lucky red leather jacket. She grabbed her pistol from her nightstand, and hooked her shield generator to her belt loop. She’d forgotten the shield generator once on a bounty-run and nearly had her head blown off at short-range by an angry krogan with a shotgun: a mistake not easily made twice.

When she stepped back out of her room, Jack was awake and had taken her place at the table without bothering to find any clothes. Considering Jack’s propensity for removing her clothing, they were all sort of used to seeing her nake.

Jack whistled as Shepard crossed the apartment toward the hallway leading to the exit.

“Looking good, Shepard. I heard you’re bringing us home some real bacon today.”

“We’ll see.” She was unsure if she’d be able to make it to Dalan in time. It was a good thirty minutes to his inn, if she ran.

She pulled on her boots and turned to her roommates, headache subsiding, but nausea decidedly still present. “Wish me luck!”

“If you don’t bring us that fucking money I’m going to murder you!” Jack called.

Just the boost she needed.

* * *

Citadel Security officer Garrus Vakarian sat at his terminal trying to stay awake while he scanned through the daily report from the executor. The report always consisted of a lot of big, flowery words to say roughly the same thing: officers on the Presidium were doing an exemplary job of keeping the Citadel purged of criminal activity; officers in the wards could learn from their example. As if prying humping teenagers off of each other in a park was comparable to taking gunfire from a drunk and disorderly krogan selling Hallex in a back alley behind a bar.

Garrus had been recently reassigned from the Presidium to Bachjret ward, partially of his own request. There was nothing exciting to be done on the Presidium, and there was plenty of crime to be dealt with in the wards, especially Bachjret. He was still learning the ropes, both within the C-sec wards offices, and within the ward itself. Living down on the wards was a stark contrast to the life he’d led up on the Presidium, but he had told himself if he was going to patrol the ward, he would have to _know_ the ward.

It was while he was scanning the executor’s report that his omni-tool pinged, signaling a message. He brought it up on his terminal, since it was already opened, closing out the executor’s blathering letter in favor of literally anything else. It could have been junk mail, for all he cared.

The message he opened was decidedly _not_ junk mail though. It was encrypted, a reply to his probe for information on a suspect they’d been chasing for several days. It had been one of his first real assignments: bringing in four criminals involved in a bank heist and theft of a lockbox containing some highly sensitive information. Together with his fellow officers, they had apprehended three of the thieves the day after the heist, all of them holed up in an abandoned market on the lower levels of the ward.

Garrus knew the owner of the stolen lockbox had placed a bounty on the remaining thief’s head. He didn’t have a ton of patience for bounty hunters, mostly because they had been getting in C-sec’s way as of late, but there were certain things he could appreciate about the trade. C-sec, and the executor in particular, was very strict about following a defined protocol on arrest and interrogation; any break from that protocol and a criminal could walk free or a case could be thrown out. Bounty hunters had no such limitations, which meant bringing criminals to justice by any means necessary. As far as Garrus was concerned, if bounty hunters could get rid of criminals committing the real high-level dangerous crimes, he could give them a pass for breaking a few laws in the process.

Only three weeks on the new job had already taught Garrus that the citizens of Bachjret ward did _not_ trust C-sec. Too many illegal activities went down on a regular basis at the most mundane locales, and the slum-dwellers were loyal to one another to a fault. Taking advantage of that loyalty, Garrus had sent out an inquiry about the remaining asari suspect, under a codename: Archangel. He’d posted it on the public forums with the disclaimer that he didn’t want the bounty, and would work to distribute it to whoever had information about the thief. He’d expected it to be days before someone replied to his post, but the message sitting in his extranet inbox had exactly the information he needed, and less than thirty hours after his posting.

A turian named Dalan down in the lower end of the wards was hiding the asari in a room at the inn he owned and operated. He was willing to keep her busy if he could claim the bounty. He’d left the coordinates for his location.

Garrus scrambled from his desk in a hurry, patting his sides and his back to make sure he still had his weapons on him. He swept out of the room housing the officer’s terminals and out into the main entrance of the station.

Captain Chellick Laratus was manning the front desk stationed across from two interrogation rooms in the entrance hall. He and Garrus had gone out to bars a few times with a few of the other officers who lived down in the ward, and he liked the man well enough. Like Garrus himself, Chellick was a turian, a few years older than Garrus, with white clan markings running in stripes along his mandibles and chin. He had little patience for most of C-sec’s rules and regulations, so that made him okay in Garrus’ book.

“What got up your ass, Vakarian?” Chellick asked, leaning back in his chair.

“Got a lead on the bank robbery.”

Chellick immediately leaned forward again. “What? You’re not calling for backup?”

“No,” Garrus skidded to a halt at the front door. “She’s hiding out in an inn in the lower wards. If we bring a whole squad she’ll bolt before we can corner her. I’ve got this. If it gets dicey, I’ll call for help.”

Chellick shrugged. “Good luck, then.”

He was _technically_ Garrus’ superior, captain of that particular station, answering only to the district commander, who was usually visiting other stations on the ward, or else holed up in her office at the academy. If Chellick wasn’t going to stop Garrus, no one was.

Outside of the station, the streets were bustling with late-morning traffic. With the wards situated as they were on the arms of the Citadel, and no artificial sky to speak of, there wasn’t really any day or night. Still, the wards ran on the same cycles as the Presidium, with large digital clocks displayed on the sides of buildings to signal the time of day in their thirty-hour cycles.

Garrus wasn’t exactly a seasoned officer, but he wasn’t stupid either. He knew that if he’d received the message from Dalan, he might not be the only one, and there were plenty of bounty hunters scanning the comm channels for signs of the thief. He needed to hurry if he wanted to get to the asari before someone else did. A solo arrest would look good on his record, and possibly get his father off his back about where his life and career were headed.

There was no way to go unnoticed by the crowd, decked out from head-to-toe in his bright blue C-sec-issue armor, but he could at least act casual as he pushed through the crowd, to prevent anyone from spreading the word that a C-sec officer was on the move; the crowds would thin when he got to the lower levels and then it would be easier to move.

The wards were sectioned off into levels, and labeled in a somewhat confusing manner, at least in Garrus' humble opinion. The ‘lower’ wards consisted of the sections furthest from the Presidium, and appeared to be high up in space when viewed from the Citadel tower; the ‘upper’ wards, were closer to the Presidium and conversely lower in space than the actual lower wards. The names had been unofficially thrust upon the regions based on the type of people who occupied them.

Garrus’ C-sec station was in the middle of the lower ward, past the halfway point of the massive arm of the Citadel that made up Bachjret ward; Dalan’s inn was further out, near the end of the ward where the worst slum dwellers took up residence.

As he had predicted, when he drew further from the middle of the ward, and as the day progressed past the morning rush, he found that the crowds started to thin enough that he could increase his pace to a brisk jog. The coordinates blinked on his omni-tool map, and every few seconds he would glance down to make sure he was heading in the right direction. Each ward was home to millions of people and he was still new to the area: it would be easy to take a wrong turn and get lost.

He followed the coordinates off into side-streets, the path emptying more and more as he got deeper into lower-ward territory. As he turned onto a narrow road with an overhanging skywalk, he realized that there was a small possibility he could be walking into a set-up. Naively, he had figured that a weak encryption, with his not inconsiderable tech skill, and a pseudonym would be enough to get the citizens of the ward on his side. In retrospect, many of these people were hardened criminals who could smell a cop coming at them from a mile away.

Probably should have considered backup.

Garrus picked up his pace and as he ran, he heard the sound of boots clanging against the rusting metal of the skywalk to his right. He looked up and saw a blur of red, glanced to his omni-tool and saw the target getting closer, glanced back up and realized he was racing a human toward the inn, which was only a block away now.

“Not today, you piece of C-sec shit!” The human let out a cry like a wild animal and launched herself off of the skywalk, rocketing into him with surprising force for such a small creature.

He had no time to react, knocked flat onto his back by the assault. Looking up, he found himself pinned down by the human, her feet pressed against his arms and her rear end planted firmly on his chest.

She was all muscles and legs: tall, for a human anyway, with bright red hair falling around her shoulders, her face so dotted with freckles that it almost resembled turian clan markings. Her eyes blazed as she yanked his assault rifle from his side and pulled the thermal clip out of it, pocketing the clip and tossing the gun to the ground.

Garrus was not going to let a human who probably didn’t even match his weight by half beat him to this arrest. He shifted his weight to the side, jostling her, but she leaped off of him before he could grab her. She was too damn fast.

He bolted up, leaving his assault rifle behind for the moment, and rushed after her. He’d never seen a human run quite as fast, or with as much force behind the movement, but he was at least a foot taller than her, and her speed couldn't match a turian's. He closed the gap much more quickly than he’d anticipated, pinning her arms to her side as he reached around her and pulled her against his chest.

She squirmed and kicked and snarled like a caged varren, her legs flailing out before her.

“Let go of me you…fucking ass…I’ve got to get to that asari…” She gasped.

Fuck the asari, as soon as she spoke, his omni-tool lit up like a firework, flagging her ID in the system. She _had_ assaulted him as well, and that was definitely a chargeable offence. The only problem he had was that he needed to cuff her, and if he gave any slack on his grip she was liable to run free again.

“Looks like you’ve got some warrants out,” Garrus said, gritting his teeth as she slammed her feet back into his legs in her struggle to free herself. No one could discount the woman’s wild energy: he was honestly a little afraid of her, though she wasn’t exactly the image he’d had in mind of a hardened wards criminal.

“I’m going to rip your fucking mandibles off and shove them down your throat you stupid fucking dinosaur!”

“Charming.”

“I _need_ that bounty!”

Ah, a bounty hunter. That made a little more sense. He might have let her go in any other circumstance, if it had just been a friendly race to reach the target first, if she hadn’t propelled herself off of a skywalk with a scream like a banshee and then tried to disarm him.

“You’re not going to get it, so you had better stop struggling,” Garrus hissed. “You’re under arrest for assaulting a C-sec officer. I’m taking you back to the station. What’s your name?”

“Eat my ass, you pig!” She shouted.

“All right, fine. We’ll do it your way.”

In one swift motion, he whipped her around and pressed her face-first into the wall, not hard enough to do any damage, but certainly hard enough to get her attention. She hesitated just long enough for him to yank her arms behind her back and cuff them together. He bound her legs for good measure and then forced her to sit while he examined the warrants she had in the system.

“Jane Shepard, twenty-nine. Looks like you’ve got quite a list of priors here, Jane.” He read through the extensive list. She had three active warrants out, and a list of arrests a mile long: disorderly conduct, public indecency, assault, battery, petty theft. She’d been brought in too many times to count, though her last stay in a cell was more than a year prior.

“Don’t call me Jane,” she growled, but some of the fire had gone from her eyes. With cuffs on her wrists and ankles, there was no chance of escape.

“Fine, Shepard then.” Garrus yanked her up off the ground. “We’re going to take a walk back to my station now, Shepard. Too bad you didn’t get that bounty, it might have paid your bail.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” she spat. “I can’t afford bail. Seriously, come on, Opie. This your first big arrest? You look too young and innocent for this ward. I’m not your enemy, the fucking bounty is.”

Did he really look so young and naïve? Chellick had given him crap about his age too, told him he looked like fresh meat that the wards natives would readily devour. Working patrols on the Presidium hadn’t exactly given him the hardened edge he needed down in Bachjret.

He pushed his assailant forward, grabbing her arms and unbinding her legs so she could walk in front of him. He wanted to ask her what the hell ‘Opie’ was, but he didn’t think it would help her view of him if it was some kind of wards slang. His translator certainly couldn’t make sense of it.

“If you can’t make bail, you probably shouldn’t have assaulted an officer,” Garrus told her as they made the slow progression back to the station. She was dragging her feet as much as possible, forcing him to prod her every few steps. He fetched his assault rifle on the route back through the alley.

“You know how I can tell you’re wet behind the ears, Opie?” She asked. He didn’t answer her. “You didn’t even check me for weapons. Not that I can reach it, but…”

 _What the hell were you thinking, Garrus?_ He forced her to a halt and patted his hands down her sides until he found the pistol hiding beneath her jacket. He ripped it off of her and removed her omni-tool as well, securing both to his belt.

“Tsk tsk. Your boss would have your ass for a mistake like that.”

“Why don’t you stop talking unless I ask you to speak?” Garrus barked.

“Oh, do I look like a woman who listens to orders or do I look like a woman who gives them?” she responded. It was like she had no fear, no concern for her own well-being, egging him on with every step. “You’re a good boy, aren’t you, Opie? You’re not the kind of C-sec officer who slams heads into walls, are you?”

“What the _fuck_ does Opie mean?” He couldn’t hold it back any longer and she was driving him up the damn wall. Were all the criminals in the wards this unflinchingly irritating?

She sniggered and didn’t answer him.

The silence didn’t last long, however. A few yards of progression along the street and she was pleading with him again.

“Seriously, you could just let me go. No one would know. It’s not like I’m going to tell your boss or something. I could have kids starving at home and bounty hunting is how I feed them. Don’t you care about my hypothetical children, Opie?”

 _Spirits_ it was going to be a long walk back to the station.


	2. Quid Pro Quo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains explicit sexual content

**2183**  
**Bachjret Ward - District 42**  
 **April 1st**

On the list of stupid things Shepard had done in the heat of an adrenaline-fueled frenzy, launching herself on a C-sec officer had to rank in the top three, but in her defense, when she saw the blue armor streak by beneath her and realized what the young turian was up to, she’d flown into a blind rage at the thought of losing her bounty to a whelp who looked like he’d never stepped foot in the wards before that day.

Putting up a fight had also seemed like a good idea, because if she fought, she might be able to get away and get to the damned bounty. Unfortunately, Officer My First Armor Set™ was fast on his feet and caught up to her much faster than she’d anticipated.

She’d had her share of run-ins with C-sec, and with turians, and she hadn’t met a turian who didn’t respond to strength better than weakness. Pleading worked with some of them, provided she did it with confidence; shouting demands to be released like an Alliance naval officer also worked sometimes, plenty of turians liked to be yelled at behind closed doors anyway. Officer Opie was unfazed by both methods, soldiering on the like the Good Little Boy that he was. She was willing to bet she was his first big arrest. The fact that her reference to a centuries old saccharine-sweet human cop vid series had flown over his head was at least a small victory: the nickname was driving him nuts.

It took some time to reach the C-sec station, mostly due to Shepard’s stubborn insistence to be as slow and grating as possible, hoping maybe the C-sec officer would get so annoyed that he’d let her go just to be rid of her. Eventually, though, he shoved her through the front doors of the station where she came face to face with a green-eyed godsend.

_Fucking Chellick._

The turian in question sat behind the front desk swiping through his omni-tool data when they entered the station. He looked up briefly, looked back down, then did a double-take and locked eyes with Shepard.

“ _Shepard_.” His mandibles twitched and his eyes flicked up and down her body. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“You know this wild animal?” Officer Opie asked.

Chellick rounded his desk and approached the two of them, Shepard squirming in Opie’s grasp.

“Where’d you pick this one up, Vakarian?”

 _Vakarian?_ God dammit if this day wasn’t throwing her some curveballs.

“Wait, Vakarian?” Shepard craned her neck in an effort to get another look at the young officer who had her arms in a vice grip. “Are you _shitting me_ , Opie?”

Chellick grabbed her chin and forced her to face him. “The exectuor’s son,” he said calmly. Oh, Chellick. His twitching mandibles and roving eyes were giving him away.

“You two know each other, I’m guessing?” Vakarian spoke.

“Oh sure, Shepard and I go way back. How many times have you been brought in to my station, Shepard? I lost count.”

“You know, I was keeping a tally on my bedroom wall, but my roommates painted over it.” Shepard was still trying to get a good firm look at Vakarian now that she knew he was the god damn executor’s son. Of all the officers to ram into in a fit of anger…

“I can take her from here, Garrus,” Chellick said, grabbing her arms.

“Garrus, huh? I kind of liked Opie.” Now that Chellick had her, she was facing the younger officer and she could really size him up.

He was taller than Chellick, more muscular, with blue clan markings that didn’t match his father’s, though that was common enough: the markings were based on where turians were born, not their family lineage. Garrus' markings ran under his eyes and across his nose, fanning up his cheeks and halfway down his mandibles.

There was no denying this younger Vakarian was handsome, better looking than Chellick, but so fresh and baby-faced too. Chellick must have had ten years on the kid.

“Chellick, she assaulted me in an alley,” Garrus said; his eyes were like ice as he glared a hole through Shepard.

“Yeah, she does that sometimes. File a report. I’ll take her into the interrogation room and see if she wants a counselor.”

“Fuck you, Chellick, you know I can’t afford a counselor,” Shepard spat.

“I missed that charm and grace of yours, Shepard.”

“She’s got three warrants out too,” Garrus said, still hovering in front of them. “I brought her in, Chellick, I can question her if…”

“I’ve dealt with Shepard before, Garrus. Leave it to me,” Chellick insisted. “Go file your report and I’ll let you know if I need your help.”

Garrus seemed hesitant about the situation, but Chellick was clearly his superior, so he left them for another room further in the station where he could file his report. Chellick led Shepard into one of the interrogation rooms, locked the door behind them, and uncuffed her. He shoved her into the interrogation seat and didn’t bother with the metal cuffs meant to lock her into the chair.

He crossed to the corner of the room and swiped at his omni-tool while glancing up at a camera on the ceiling. After a moment, he seemed content with his work and turned to face her, leaving a sizeable space between them.

“Jesus, Chellick, your dick hard already?” Shepard folded her arms.

“You _assaulted_ Vakarian?” He ignored her. His brow ridge shifted upward and he cocked his head. “Did you really think you could outrun a turian, Shepard? We’ve played that game before.”

“We’ve played lots of games, Chellick.” She grinned.

“What are you doing in this part of the ward?” He took a step forward.

“I moved. Not that I’m telling you where. Since when do you work this station?”

“I got promoted.” He took another step.

“You better not move again until I tell you to,” she barked. He froze in place, mandibles twitching. Yeah, she had _never_ met a turian who didn’t respond to strength.

Chellick had been like putty the first time she'd showed up at his station. Not all turians were as dedicated to duty as Officer Opie seemed to be. Chellick wasn't stupid, but he mostly thought with his dick; he wasn’t committed to eliminating crime in the ward so much as he was committed to his paycheck. She couldn’t see him letting a violent criminal go free, but petty crimes were a lot of effort and paperwork for a low payout. If he could get something out of it, he was always happy to find a reason to let low-level criminals walk.

Shepard had read Chellick like a book during that first interrogation. He liked it when she shouted at him, saw his mandibles twitch and his eyes flash when she gave him an order like she was the cop and he was the detainee. It had been so easy to talk him into uncuffing her, snaking her hands into his pants to repay the favor. She wasn’t above exchanging sex with a modestly attractive turian cop if it meant keeping her ass out of a jail cell, and especially if it meant skipping a twenty-thousand credit bail fee.

After the first time, subsequent encounters had been a breeze. It had started with a few handjobs in the interrogation rooms, a few blowjobs in the alley behind the station, then it became a sort of bizarre pre-emptive strike situation. She knew the bars Chellick frequented and she knew when a bounty might land her in hot-water with C-sec. It was easy enough to find Chellick at the bar and offer him a little comfort in bed that night if he could turn a blind eye the next day.

She hadn’t had a run-in with him in almost a year though, and now she realized it was because he’d been moved to a new station. It was good luck, but she wasn’t convinced a handjob could get her out of this one. She _had_ attacked the executor’s son after all.

“All right, Chellick,” she said, leaning forward in the chair. “I want you to tell me what I need to do to avoid getting put in a cell today. There’s no way I can afford bail and I’ll be the first to acknowledge that assaulting an officer is a bit more serious of an offense than, say, punching a creep who hit on my friend, if I had done such a thing ever, which I haven’t.”

“Mhm,” Chellick’s eyes moved hungrily across her body.

“And I didn’t just assault _an_ officer, I assaulted the executor’s son. So, I could see how that would maybe make it a little bit more difficult for me.” She continued.

“I think we both know what needs to be done,” Chellick said.

Well, she hadn’t been laid in a while, and a there was nothing quite like a turian cock, though Chellick had never been one to go out of his way to please her. Blindly thrusting was pretty much his modus operandi. He did like to grope her breasts, which was better than nothing, but she wasn’t positive he’d ever actually worked out where her clitoris was. And for as many times as she’d put his dick in her mouth, he’d never returned the favor. She’d never expected as much: getting out of jail without bail was a better reward than an orgasm most days.

Shepard stood up and closed the gap between the two of them, tiptoeing her fingers up Chellick’s chest to his shoulder.

“Did you miss me, Chellick?”

His mandibles were quivering. “Good to know you’re back in my district, Shepard. We should be seeing more of each other.”

She ran her tongue along his lower lip. It had been a while since she’d been with a turian, and she’d forgotten how rough and rigid their lips were. Chellick couldn’t hold himself back, grabbing her lips with his, his tongue sliding into her mouth eagerly.

Her hand ran up the inside of his thigh and unhooked the armor around his pelvis. He tossed his gloves off and gripped her bottom, his sharp talons digging into her. They weren’t sharp enough to break the fabric of her clothes because he kept them filed down and cleanly rounded; Chellick liked humans, _a lot_. That had been his _real_ downfall the first time she’d played him.

With his pelvic armor removed, the outline of his cock was visible inside his pants.

“Already out of your plates, Chellick? I didn’t even get to coax you out.” Shepard shoved her hand unceremoniously into his pants and grabbed hold of his pre-lubricated shaft: one of the best things about turians, really.

Chellick breathed against her neck and she watched as his brain short-circuited as soon as her hand started stroking him.

“So many soft fingers…” he gasped.

“You’re so predictable.”

His hands fumbled clumsily with the button on her pants but he was too distracted by her hand wrapped around his cock to make any productive headway on undressing her. She let go of him and took a few steps back.

“You stay there,” she demanded.

He nodded, only moving to remove the rest of his leg armor and shove his pants off.

“You’re going to have to help me out somehow, Chellick. I’m barely wet. Lubricated or not, I can’t take a cock that size if I’m not aroused.” She spoke coolly and casually as she began to undress, folding her clothes in a little pile, which she placed on the floor next to the interrogation chair. She bent over with exaggerated purpose as she set each article of clothing on the floor. She had always had fun playing with Chellick; she'd forgotten how  _much_ fun.

“Spirits, I forgot how good you look naked.” Chellick’s subharmonics oscillated as he spoke.

There was no accounting for turian taste. They liked their women hard and muscular and she was certainly that. Men of other species could be odd about scars in particular, but turians seemed to think it was a sign of strength and proficiency in battle; a scar meant you had survived something that might have killed others. Shepard glanced down at the pale, raised skin running from beneath her right breast, diagonal across her stomach to her hip. Chellick had always liked that; but so had every turian who’d ever seen it.

It was obvious Chellick was having a difficult time standing in place. He shifted from hip to hip while she undressed and his mandibles flicked against his face with each heavy breath he took.

Shepard couldn’t help but think she would have rather been walking out of that inn in the lower wards with an asari in chains; Chellick’s dick wasn’t going to give her ten thousand credits. This was her own damn fault, though.

“Okay, come here,” she said finally.

He bolted to her so fast it nearly gave her whiplash. His hands were on her, squeezing her bottom, pawing at her breasts, his tongue moving all over her neck and chest, his teeth grazing her skin. It _did_ feel good, and he surprised her when his fingers moved between her legs and found a spot she was positive he didn’t even know existed.

Her breath hitched and she grabbed his shoulder as his lips moved against her neck.

“ _Chellick_ ,” she gasped.

“Learned a thing or two in the last year.” He breathed into her ear.

She moved her hands between his legs as his fingers slid inside of her; he responded accordingly, his subharmonics vibrating as he moaned into her shoulder. She liked the feeling of his fingers sliding over her clit and back inside of her much more than she would have preferred.

“How long did you deactivate that camera for?” She was having trouble thinking straight.

“An hour. Plenty of time.”

“You think Officer Opie knows you’re fucking me in here?”

“Don’t mention Garrus.” His hands were moving more slowly as her fingers pumped up the length of his cock and swirled around the head of it.

“Why not? Maybe he’d want to join us.”

Chellick laughed then. “Yeah, Garrus isn’t that kind of rule breaker. No, I’m just sick of going to bars with him. He... _uhn, fuck_ …” His eyelids fluttered and he took a moment to catch his breath before he resumed speaking. “Women like him. It’s hard to get anyone’s attention when Garrus is with you. Between him and fucking Alenko…”

Shepard dragged her tongue across his neck and bit the soft skin beneath his chin. He howled with pleasure and _she_ was the one who had to remind him that the walls weren’t sound-proof.

“Okay, enough talking about Vakarian,” she said. “He’s outside, and you’re the one in here with me. What are you going to do with me, Chellick?”

A primal sound escaped his throat as he grabbed her hips and turned her around, bending her over the side of the chair and sliding inside of her.

 _Fucking shit_ , turian cocks were something else.

Proportionately, Chellick was about average, but anything seven feet tall and built like a brick shithouse was bound to have a cock to match. He pounded into her and she was _definitely_ ashamed of how good it felt. When was the last time she’d had sex, period? Months. Her dry spell had been as long as the drought on bounties.

She gripped the arm of the interrogation chair, unable to contain the little gasps that escaped her throat with each thrust of Chellick’s hips. His talons were digging into the front of her hips where he held her.

“ _Shit_ …” she gasped. “ _Fuck me_ , when did you get so much better at this?”

“Turns out the sex is better when you put some effort into it,” Chellick told her.

“It took you thirty-seven years to figure that one out?”

“Thirty-six. Don’t make me older than I am.” His breath left him in unattractive grunts as he moved; she didn’t care, he felt too good. She wasn’t positive if he’d improved as much as she thought, or if it had just been way too long since she’d been fucked.

“Put your finger on my clit,” she begged.

“Is that an order?”

“Yes, just fucking do it.”

His right hand slid between her legs, the rough pad of his index finger rubbing against that tender bundle of nerves. She moaned involuntarily and rolled her hips to meet his thrusts.

“I forgot how tight you are. _Fuck_ , Shepard, you should break the law more often.”

“ _Uhn…Chellick_ …”

He leaned over her, biting her shoulder just hard enough to send a little shiver down her spine, but not hard enough to draw blood. His free hand moved against her breast and he kissed the back of her neck clumsily. He always got a little uncoordinated when he was getting close to finishing.

 _She_ wasn’t finished yet though; his finger still moved in slow circles between her legs. God, she was close…just let her finish before he did, because there was no doubting that as soon as he was done, he would lose all will to move.

“Do I feel good?” he asked. “Tell me I feel good.” His finger pressed harder against her and she lost all ability to think about anything but his cock driving into her like a drill.

She let out a series of escalating moans, breathing so hard she thought her lungs were going to explode in her chest. She was sweating profusely when the wave of pleasure hit, her muscles tightening around him entirely of their own accord. That was the final straw for him as well; a high-pitched moan bordering on a whimper escaped his throat, his subharmonics hitting four different octaves as he came inside of her. She could feel the hot mess rushing into her as he gave a few final, desperate pumps and slid out of her, falling still against her back.

It took a second for her body to relax, for her muscles to stop contracting. He stepped back from her and walked over to the other end of the room where a cabinet contained ‘interrogation tools’, some of which she was familiar with. Thankfully though, all he was looking for was a towel.

With some effort, she pushed herself up, the unpleasant feeling of cum trickling down her leg as she adjusted.

Chellick wiped his pelvic plates clean and then tossed her the towel while he dressed.

“So what am I looking at?” Shepard asked, cleaning herself as well and gathering up her clothes from the floor.

“I’ll walk you out.” His eyelids fluttered when he looked at her.

“Tired?” she laughed.

“I might fall asleep at my desk.”

“You don’t think Vakarian will try to press charges or…” She started.

“No, no,” he assured her. “He’s not really much like his old man. I’ll tell him you paid your bail, that you’re all hot air. He’ll move on. He’s not interested in petty criminals anyway. He usually _likes_ bounty hunters. Most of them aren’t in the habit of attacking C-sec officers.”

She patted her hand against his mandible. “Thanks, Chellick.”

“It was good to see you again, Shepard. You should really drop in more often.” He raised his brow plates.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll set a garbage can on fire outside of the station or something,” she laughed.

“Hm, arson’s not that big of a deal. I think you could go bigger.”

She rolled her eyes and let him lead her out of the interrogation room. She put on her best ‘angry’ face once they were out in the main station; best not to let any officers milling around the lobby know she’d had her brains fucked out in the interrogation room.

Garrus was actually behind the front desk when they exited the room.

“What’s the word, Chellick?” He rose to his feet as soon as he saw them.

“Shepard’s friends posted bail,” Chellick said, his hand clamped firmly on her shoulder.

“So you can give me back my pistol and my omni-tool.” Shepard folded her arms.

Garrus balked. “What? All she did the whole way here was complain that she couldn’t make bail!”

“Vakarian, if you’re going to work in the wards, you have to learn that criminals often _lie_.” Chellick crossed the room to the safe where they kept prisoners’ effects.

He dialed the pin to open it in plain view. _God_ he could be such an idiot sometimes. She mentally memorized the pin in case she needed it later.

“Here are your things, Shepard. Try not to attack any more officers on your next hunt, hm?”

Tearing the items from his hands, she secured the omni-tool to her arm and the pistol to her waist. “ _Thanks_. So long, Opie.” She nodded to Garrus.

She was fairly pleased with the completely stupefied look he gave her in return.

* * *

 

One of the reasons Garrus had wanted to work down in the wards, among many, was because the stations in the wards, particularly Bachjret, had a reputation for being a bit laxer with their standards on arrest and interrogation of violent criminals. Chellick had thus far more than proven that his station followed such relaxed protocol: the interrogation rooms contained cabinets of tools meant to help along confessions, and if a nose was broken or a bounty hunter dropped an unconscious body on the door after they claimed their fee, that was certainly no reason to throw out the case.

It was due to the already demonstrated laid back attitude at Bachjret Station 42 that Garrus felt no one would reprimand him if he stuck a tiny tracker on the gun he’d confiscated from Shepard. After having seen the fire flowing through her veins, and the mouth she had on her, he had no doubt she was worth knowing. He knew that striking up a partnership with a bounty hunter could be mutually beneficial: she could get the early drop on bounties, and he could get to criminals for which there was otherwise not enough evidence to obtain a warrant. The real task would be convincing Shepard that she needed his help.

He’d already formulated this plan in his head before he’d reached the station, had thought of bringing it up in the interrogation room, using her freedom as bait, until Chellick had stepped in with the revelation that he and Shepard had a personal history. It shouldn’t have surprised him; Chellick had been working Bachjret for nearly a decade and Shepard had a list of priors a mile long. What sort of deal had Chellick struck with Shepard for her to walk out less than an hour after Garrus had brought her in?

He may have been young, but he wasn’t as naïve as Shepard took him for. He had a good guess as to what Shepard and Chellick had been up to in the interrogation room. He would have liked to think a C-sec captain, even a slightly crooked one, was above such things, but there were too many give-aways. Shepard was far too casual with the officer, even for a criminal who had been in lock-down plenty of times, but Chellick had really been the one to hide his indiscretion poorly; his eyes had burned a hole through her ass on her way out the door, a stupid, drowsy look on his face.

The upside to the situation was that Garrus felt his offer had to be better for Shepard. Sucking off a C-sec officer in a dank interrogation room had to be less appealing than guaranteed bounties and a strictly hands-off policy. Shepard _frightened_ Garrus, but it was that wild energy of hers that also intrigued him, in a strictly professional manner. He was intensely curious about the woman.

Planning to follow the trail of the tracker once he was off duty, he whittled away the remaining hours of his shift in the office room at his terminal, periodically checking the tracker’s location on his omni-tool. He’d left an embarrassing string of search terms on his extranet history as he waited.

 _[Jane Shepard]_ 3,424,886,434 hits.

 _[Jane Shepard bounty hunter_ ] Citadel Security list of active warrants.

 _[Opee wards slang]_  Did you mean: opium wards slang?

 _[Opee human phrase]_  Did you mean: opium human phrase?

 _[Opee meaning]_  Did you mean: Opie meaning?

 _[Opie meaning]_ Others searched for: Opie Taylor.

 _[Opie Taylor]_ Opie Taylor is a fictional character played by Ron Howard in the human vid series, The Andy Griffith Show, which aired during the mid-20th century, before humans joined the galactic community.

_[Human vid series Andy Griffith]_

He’d found an episode of the ancient vid series on the extranet and watched it for a few seconds. It was inexplicable what humans found entertaining. The namesake Shepard had slapped on him was a child; a tiny, innocent, naïve little good-natured child.

Finding out he was the executor’s son probably hadn’t helped her view of him as anything but spoiled and unaccustomed to life in the crime-ridden, dirt-filled streets of the wards. He would just have to prove to her that he wasn’t some idiotic child who’d never had any real-life experience.

Almost as soon as the clock chimed signaling eighteen hundred hours, Garrus was out of his seat and headed for his locker. He unhooked his armor and left it locked up with his work effects, pulled off his under-armor and changed into his street clothes, hooking a shield generator to his back pocket and clipping a pistol to his hip. You could never be too safe in the wards, he had learned that quickly enough.

“Where you off to in such a rush, Vakarian?” Chellick asked as Garrus zipped past his desk toward the front door.

“Oh, you know…just, uh…going home.”

Chellick narrowed his eyes. “Uh-huh. Hey Alenko and Williams want to go out this weekend. You up for it? They were thinking Deluxe.”

“Deluxe?” Garrus was barely processing what Chellick was saying, his eyes shifting to the tracker on his omni-tool. “Sure, that could be good.”

“They’re trying to convince Lawson to come, but you know how she is…and _turians_ have a reputation for having a stick up their asses. Pfft.”

“Ok well, let me know.” Garrus waved and rushed out the door before Chellick could say anything else. The weekend was four days away and far from his mind with the tracker map beeping at his wrist.

He brought up the map and observed Shepard’s location. She’d been moving around most of the day, but it had stopped about an hour ago: she must have gone home. Good, he’d catch her where she lived.

His legs couldn’t carry him in the direction of the tracker fast enough. He wouldn’t allow himself to think about _why_ he was so eager to find this insane woman who flung herself off of skywalks to attack C-sec officers, and exchanged under the table sexual favors with C-sec captains. He was just so curious about her. Who was she? What was her history? Was she even that good of a bounty hunter? She must have been, considering her priors.

The entire time he followed the tracker, he couldn’t help but think of how disappointed his father would be if he knew what he was doing. His father was as by-the-book as they came, “do something right, or don’t do it at all”. Following a bounty hunter using an illegal tracking device in order to corner her in her own home and convince her to conduct unofficial work for C-sec hardly counted as doing something right. Garrus had always butted heads with his father; since he’d become executor, it had been ten times worse. At least down in Bachjret he was free from his constant micromanaging.

Wherever Shepard lived, it was lower in the wards than he’d anticipated, though not quite as low as he’d gone earlier when she’d attacked him. Bounty hunters could usually make a decent living off of their wages, typically residing in high-rises rather than tenement slums.

There were no high-rises this deep in the wards. Most of the buildings were run-down, with partially boarded windows or crumbling facades. Did Shepard _really_ live in this filth?

Garrus slowed to a halt as his omni-tool signaled he was getting closer to the target. He reached the opening of a narrow alleyway, the map on his screen indicating that Shepard’s gun was at the end of the alley. He sighed, she’d clearly ditched the tracker. How had she known? It was so small, so discreet. Maybe he _was_ as naïve as she said.

He shuffled to the end of the alley to find the tracker; they weren’t cheap and if it was still operating he may as well salvage it. He was surprised and a little upset at how dejected he felt. Who knew when he’d run into her again? _Probably soon considering her propensity for petty crimes_. Still, he’d been so pleased with himself for formulating the plan, only for it to fail so quickly.

There were no lights to illuminate the back of the alley, and even with his enhanced night-vision, it was difficult to pinpoint where the tracker might be beneath a layer of garbage and filth piled in the back corner. He bent down to investigate when something plowed into him from above and knocked him onto his back.

For the second time that day, he found himself pinned to the ground beneath Jane Shepard, but this time she was more prepared. Her arm moved against his throat, omni-blade generating around her wrist in a flicker of orange light. The blade pressed ever-so-lightly against his skin and he swallowed hard.

_Good one, Vakarian._

“Hey, Opie.” Shepard pressed her free hand against his forehead, forcing his head back and exposing his neck even further to her blade. “You want to tell me what the fuck your little tracker was doing on my gun?”

She had his arms pinned down with her legs, straddling his chest. He didn’t dare struggle beneath her with the blade so close to him, one swipe away from tearing open his major arteries and leaving him bleeding out on the ground.

“If you get off of me, I can explain…” Garrus said, trying to sound cool and collected. His subharmonics betrayed him.

“ _That’s_ not happening. I don’t care if you are the executor’s son, you try to follow me back to _my home_ without  _my_ permission…not even Chellick has tried something that dirty. I should gut you and send your entrails to your daddy.”

 _Holy shit, she’s_ really _insane._ What had he gotten himself into?

“Look, I wasn’t…”

“Shut up, I’m talking.” Her omni-blade disappeared and she grabbed his neck with both hands. It didn’t exactly feel good, having his airway squeezed like that, but her hands were small, and not nearly as effective as she thought. “Do I look like someone who likes to be followed, Opie?”

He attempted to reply, but it escaped his throat in a pathetic gargle.

She moved her face close to his. “I’m going to let go of your throat and you’re going to answer me, got it? What the _fuck_ are you doing here?”

As promised, her hands let go and she leaned back, her legs still pinning down his arms. He took a few deep breaths and trained his eyes on her in the dark. All he could make out beyond the outline of her form was her glowing green eyes, absolutely brimming with rage.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he said honestly. “Wanted to see if you’d be interested in striking a deal?”

“Oh, yeah?” She leaned forward again, gripping the underside of his jaw. “What kind of deal? I think I can guess. Chellick’s a fucking idiot with no discretion. If you came here hoping to get some ass in exchange for granting me favors, I’d be happy to yank your dick off and shove it down your throat.”

Garrus was at least seventy-five percent sure he was going to die in that alleyway.

“I-I wasn’t…” he stammered.

It occurred to him that lying there like a defenseless child was not really helping her image of him, and it certainly wasn’t doing _him_ any favors. Her blade had been stowed, now all she had was pure, unadulterated rage and a disproportionate strength; things were at least a little more equal.

In one swift move, he knocked his knee into her back and flipped her over, pinning her underneath him. He was much larger than she was, with bigger hands and a stronger grip. He shoved his thighs against the underside of hers to keep her from kicking him and then pinned her arms down, gripping just tightly enough for his talons to dig into her skin.

“Can we have a conversation now?” he growled.

The strength of his grip didn’t stop her from trying to get away from him. She squirmed and writhed desperately, flailing her feet when her legs were unable to move, shaking her head violently, rearing back and spitting in his face.

He snorted but kept his composure.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said.

“Yeah fucking right.”

Her chest heaved with her efforts. For several seconds she struggled against him, but eventually she seemed to realize there was no escaping, so she slumped her head back against the ground and let out a long sigh.

“Fuck me, I really thought I had you this time,” she huffed. “Look, whatever you’re planning on doing, at least make it quick and painless.”

“I told you, I’m not here to hurt you. I really do just want to talk,” he insisted.

“Is this how you talk with all women, Vakarian?”

“How about this? As a gesture of good faith, I’m going to let you go. Don’t run from me, because you know I’m faster and I’ll catch you. How does that sound?”

She glared at him and said nothing.

Realizing he would probably regret the decision, he climbed off of her and sat back against the alley wall, expecting her to bolt immediately. Instead, to his great surprise, she shoved herself into a seated position and backed against the opposite wall, eyeing him warily.

“All right, talk then,” she demanded.

“I want to strike up a partnership with you.” Before she could open her mouth to protest, he cut her off. “Nothing like whatever it is you’re doing with Chellick. Strictly professional. I think we could be mutually beneficial to each other.”

She hesitated a moment before she spoke. “I’m listening.”

“C-Sec gets all the news on criminal activity before anyone else, and we also know when bounties are placed before they even reach your underground extranet channels. I could feed you this information and give you first dibs on dozens of bounties each week. I can even help you with stakeouts on my off hours. You know the wards better than I do, but I have supplies civilians can’t get their hands on.”

“What’s in it for you?” Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t see how spoon-feeding me bounties really helps you.”

“I don’t care about protocol,” he explained. “I joined C-sec to make a difference and there are too many high-level criminals getting away with their crimes. If giving you the bounty ahead of time means getting a murderer off the streets, then I’m happy. Half of these cases are cordoned off behind a thousand yards of red tape: we need warrants, we need attack plans, we need approval from higher-up. You can cut through all the bullshit and get to the point.”

There was a spark of curiosity in her eyes, but she was clearly still not convinced.

“I already have a squad of others experts who help me,” she told him. “I’ve got five other bounty hunters, a tech expert, and an information broker. Is your intel really better than my broker’s?”

That _was_ a surprise. Shepard definitely struck him as the kind of woman who worked alone. He wondered what these other bounty hunters must be like to have earned her trust.

“Where do you think information brokers get their intel? They siphon it out of our systems. I can get it to you before your broker. That could be our trial run. Next decent hit I get in the system, I’ll bounce it to you. If I get it to you before your broker, you have to give me a chance.” He’d need to program something into the system to alert him immediately when there was a new bounty on an active warrant or he wouldn’t stand a chance against an information broker.

She mulled it over for a moment in silence. “Fine. What if C-sec sees you helping me?”

“There will be ground rules. I only help on the ground when I’m off duty, and never direct involvement. I’ll help you with stakeouts, gathering intel, planting traps, but once the fighting starts, I have to keep my hands clean.”

“That’s fine, I have plenty of extra hands to help me fight. You better hope you’re as good as you say. I’m only giving you one chance to get the information to me before my broker.”

“How much does he charge you?” Garrus asked.

“ _She_ doesn’t charge me. She's a friend.” Shepard rose to her feet and stood over him. “You’re a real surprise, Vakarian. I had you pegged as Daddy’s little boy who never broke the rules.”

“I’m nothing like my father,” he growled.

“We’ll see.” She leaned down against him suddenly and for a heart-stopping moment he thought she was going to kiss him. Instead, she slapped his tracker onto the pistol at his hip. “Now _I’ll_ keep an eye on _you_.”

With that, she disappeared out of the alley, taking off at a run once she was out on the street.

Garrus wasn’t entirely convinced he knew what he was getting himself into, but he was sure as hell ready to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm already having a lot of fun writing this so I hope everyone who reads is enjoying it! Can't promise any regularity with updates. I've written ahead a few chapters already, but I like to stay written ahead so I can edit appropriately. Anyway, thanks for reading and for all the nice comments on the first chapter!


	3. Joyride

**2183**   
**Bachjret Ward - District 42**   
**April 1st**

As Shepard entered her crumbling, shitty apartment, the front door wide open thanks to the broken lock mechanism, she reflected on the days’ events with a sense of cool relief. All things considered, there were worse ways to spend a day amongst cops than getting laid and striking up a deal that would throw easy bounties into her lap. Chellick had been a nice surprise, Vakarian an even better one.

Unfortunately, the universe seemed hell bent on killing her good mood, because when she walked into the living room, _all_ of her roommates were seated around the vid screen, every pair of eyes trained on her.

“So, Shepard,” Jack was the first to speak, “did you get the big ten-thousand credit bounty we needed to make rent and back pay our bills?”

No sense in beating around the bush. They clearly already knew she hadn’t.

“I got sidelined by C-sec,” she shrugged.

Wrex snorted. “I thought you smelled like turian.”

“Look guys, I’m really sorry,” she said truthfully. “I really thought I was going to get her, but this officer showed up out of nowhere and I _may_ have _accidentally_ knocked him over and he _might_ have been the executor’s son so…”

“Oh, Keelah,” Tali groaned. “Shepard what were you thinking?”

“I wanna know how the fuck she got herself out of attacking the executor’s son.” Jack raised her eyebrows.

“Well, you’ll never guess who the captain in our new district is.”

“ _Chellick?”_ Jack laughed. “No shit? Well, that explains everything. That’ll come in handy in the future. Guess his dick is still pretty hard for that ass of yours, huh, Shepard?”

“Well, I’m here aren’t I? Anyway, I have a backup plan for the bills…”

“Don’t worry about it.” She was interrupted by the old merc, Zaeed. He was slouched down at the end of the couch with a beer in his hand, and he didn’t even turn to face her as he spoke. “Thane told me you went after the asari, so I followed your trail. Saw the whole goddamn thing, by the way. ‘Accidentally’ my arse. I went after the asari while that whelp was dragging you down to the station. You’re better than that, Shepard. What was the kid, twelve?”

“You _got_ the bounty?” Shepard asked, ignoring the rest of what he’d said.

“That’s what I just told you. Credits are in the bank. Already back-paid the bills and rent will be ready.”

“Zaeed, I could kiss you.”

“ _Don’t_. Or brush your teeth first. I don’t like swapping spit with turians. Anyway, don’t mention it. When’s the last time I brought in anything decent?” He shrugged.

Ten-thousand credits was a real weight off Shepard’s shoulders, but Vakarian’s offer was still well worth considering. She’d been bluffing about her information broker, of course. Liara _was_ a broker, and she _did_ provide the occasional intel, but she lived halfway across the ward and charged for most of the information. Friends or not, information was how she paid her bills and Shepard understood that. She’d only lied to put a fire under Vakarian’s ass.

“What’s this backup plan you were talking about?” Jacob asked from his spot next to Tali on the couch.

 “Oh, the little baby officer wants to piss his dad off by breaking the rules.” Shepard waved her hand dismissively. “He’s offered to give me first crack at bounties if he’s allowed to help. I’m giving him a trial run; it could be worth it, but we’ll see. He’s kind of naïve.”

“You really think bringing a cop into bounty runs is a good idea?” Jacob’s expression very plainly spelled out what he thought of the plan.

“Especially the executor’s _son_ ,” Tali added.

Thane had been silent since she entered, seated in the high-backed chair next to the couch, watching her with an inscrutable expression. As the voices of their other roommates rose over each other, each of them offering up their own opinion of Shepard’s decision to partner up with a great unknown like Garrus Vakarian, Thane finally spoke.

“Perhaps Shepard knows what she’s doing,” he said softly. “We should trust her. She may be rash and impulsive, but she brought us together, and she’s kept a roof over our heads. Personally, I think she deserves our respect.”

She could always count on Thane.

The entire room fell silent after that, all of them looking back to Shepard.

“Ah shit, she knew what she was doing with Chellick. How many times did we miss C-sec by ten seconds because Shepard boinked Chellick the night before a raid?” Jack shrugged. “You gonna fuck around with the executor’s son too?”

Shepard laughed. “No, he’s too good for that. He claims he’s nothing like his dad, but I’ll believe it when I see it. I guess he’s willing to bend some rules, so maybe he’s got a little bad streak him in it. He honestly looks like he couldn’t hurt a fly.”

“We _are_ talking about a turian, right?” Wrex rolled his eyes.

Tali giggled. “Yeah, but Shepard’s got a thing for them.”

“All right, well I’ve had a long day. I was staked out for hours waiting for baby Vakarian to come find me. I’m going to get some sleep.”

“You should eat something, siha,” Thane said as she passed by his chair.

“I’m all right. I’ll eat in the morning. Hey, Zaeed.” She turned to the old merc, “Good work today.”

“You’re damn right it was.”

It was a welcome relief when she entered her room to find it completely devoid of any snoring krogan. ‘Room’ was a strong word for the tiny space she shared with Jack, but Shepard really only used the room for a bed to sleep in, spending most of her time out in the wards either bringing in bounties or spending the reward in bars and clubs.

The entire crumbling apartment was just a home-base for operations. Sometimes she and the others would run big bounties together, but most of the time they worked separately because the jobs were one-man hits and discretion was key. She’d pieced her ragtag little team together over the last three years, only taking in people her gut told her she could trust.

Maybe that’s why she’d let Vakarian offer her the deal, she knew she could trust him, even if she didn’t know why; maybe it was his innocence. She didn’t want to dwell on it; it was stupid enough that she was giving him a chance at all.

She wondered if Chellick knew his little junior officer wasn’t as by-the-book as he seemed.

Shepard didn’t really want to think about either of the turians at the moment. It was a relief to have both options, get out of jail free cards for all the future indiscretions she and her squad would undoubtedly commit in the name of a bounty, or just good-natured fun. Hell, Chellick was basically an insurance policy for all of Jack’s stupid antics.

_Chellick, Jack blew up a shipping container, if you’ll erase the security tapes proving she’s guilty I’ll let you fuck me sideways in the alley._

It sounded hypothetical, but it wasn’t.

Falling onto her ratty, uncomfortable mattress, Shepard closed her eyes as her fatigue finally caught up with her. Waxing poetic like some poorly-written film noir, she couldn’t help but think, of all the C-Sec officers in all the Citadel, how had _Castis Vakarian’s son_ wound up stationed in her district?

The galaxy was smaller than it seemed. 

* * *

 

 **2178  
** **Huerta Memorial Hospital  
** **March 30** th

 “Right through here, commander, she might not be conscious.”

“You performed the surgery yourself?”

“Yes, it was quite an extensive procedure. I’m not a religious man, and never one to downplay my own skill, but it’s really a miracle she’s made it through.”

Shepard could definitely hear the voices, though they seemed trapped in a fog. One of them was familiar, the salarian doctor who’d been checking on her night and day. She couldn’t place the other voice and her head was too clouded to think about it for very long. They were trying to be quiet, but they seemed so _loud_.

Still a welcome reprieve from the constant, incessant beep of her heart monitor.

“Can you describe the extent of her injuries?”

“The omni-blade entered her chest below the right breast and dragged down in a line to her left hip. At its deepest point, we estimate the blade penetrated at least three inches. Several of her internal organs were hit. The only reason she didn’t bleed out was the medi-gel, and even that was barely enough to hold her together.”

“ _Spirits._ ”

“As I said, extensive surgical repairs were necessary. We’re still not done, but her body needs time to heal before we can address the rest of our concerns. Our first priority was getting her stable.”

“I need to take pictures of the wound, if…”

“Of course. Lieutenant Shepard?” She felt a hand on her shoulder, but it felt far away from the rest of her body. All of her limbs felt as if they’d been detached. “Lieutenant Shepard, can you hear me?”

“Really, doctor, I can come back…” The foreign voice had the unmistakable harmonizing timbre of a turian.

Turians. _Turians_. Was there anywhere in the damn galaxy where she could avoid them?

“No, I assure you, it’s quite all right. She’s due for a changing of her bandages. Lieutenant Shepard, wake up.” A smooth, cool hand pressed against her forehead. It took every ounce of willpower she had to force her eyes open, and then it took several seconds to adjust to the harsh light of her hospital room.

The salarian doctor was standing over her, frowning with concern; a turian C-sec officer towered behind him, face plates distinguished with sky-blue clan markings.

Shepard could hardly make sense of anything: her head felt _so heavy_. She’d woken up several times over the past few days, only to be lulled back to sleep with a fresh infusion of some drug that kept the pain at bay.

“Lieutenant Shepard, can you hear me?” The doctor asked.

“Yes,” she croaked. Her throat was too dry; she desperately needed water.

“This is Commander Vakarian,” the doctor said. “He’s here with C-sec. Do you remember what happened?”

“Unfortunately.” Hard to forget being sliced wide open with an omni-blade.

She looked around the room and remembered the cup of ice chips on the stand next to her bed. Unable to move in any meaningful way with half of the muscles in her abdomen torn to shreds, she reached desperately for the cup. The doctor handed it to her and she began shoveling the ice into her mouth, savoring the feeling as it melted on her tongue.

“I’m going to go get the nurses to change your bandages,” the doctor explained. “Do you mind talking to the commander?”

She stared at the turian, decked out in his dark blue C-sec armor. Even in her stupor she could see the look of pity he was giving her. Like she was already dead.

“Sure…but my head is pretty heavy.” She struggled to speak.

“That’s just the medicine.” The doctor assured her. “I’ll be right back. Commander?”

“Thank you, doctor.”

The salarian shut the door behind him and Shepard found herself alone in a room with a turian she didn’t know. There was no saying if he’d faked his credentials. What if he was here to finish the job?

No, he looked too upset by the state of her.

“Lieutenant, I’m sorry for your ordeal…” The commander spoke, mandibles pinched tight against his face. “I…can’t begin to imagine…”

“Did you have questions?” She interrupted him. “I’m tired and I don’t want your pity.”

He cleared his throat. “I’m heading the investigation into the events that occurred on Elysium. As you can imagine, with two Council Spectres involved in the attack, there’s a lot of evidence to be weighed.”

“What can I do about that?” Shepard asked. The Council would always protect its own. Everyone who’d witnessed what happened was either dead, a Spectre, or _her_. What was the word of one Alliance Lieutenant against a Spectre?

“The Council would prefer that this all just go away. I take issue with that. Under special order from Executor Pallin, I’ve been authorized to conduct a private investigation into the events. I have a special interest in bringing the remaining Spectre to justice. This attack is evidence that a Spectre’s unchecked power needs to be called into question. If you’d be willing to cooperate…”

Shepard spoke before he could finish. “I don’t want my name on anything. No papers, no reports, nothing. Call me whatever you want, but don’t put my real name. I don’t want this following me around. If I even make it.”

“The doctor seems to think…”

“I heard what he said.”

“Perhaps I should come back at another time,” the commander suggested. “You’ve been through a great ordeal and…”

The door opened up and two asari nurses swept in. They looked at the turian commander unsurely and then turned their attention to Shepard.

“We have to change your bandages now, dear. Commander Vakarian, if you could step outside.”

“No.” Shepard growled. “Let him see what happened to me.”

“Lieutenant Shepard, if you’d be willing to consent, I need to collect pictures of the wounds for my report. I’ll ensure your face is cropped out of them, per your previous request.”

“Fine. If it’ll help nail the bastard then fine.”

The nurses hesitated for a moment. Snapping pictures of a patient’s ghastly wounds was not standard protocol, but this was not a standard hospital visit either. One of the nurses adjusted Shepard’s bed, moving her into a seated position since she couldn’t sit up on her own.

Gently, the two asari pulled Shepard’s hospital gown from her body. The wound was covered with thick bandaging that wrapped around her entire torso, tinged pink in a diagonal line. The C-sec commander prepared his omni-tool to snap photos as the nurses removed the bandaging, inch by painstaking inch.

The sight of her body was so repulsive that Shepard couldn’t even process that what she was looking at _belonged_ to her. She had no use for modesty in the Alliance, and even less staring at the raw, horrendous divide running from her breast to her hip. Commander Vakarian snapped a picture, his mandibles twitching at the unpleasant sight.

Fuck. It must be bad if it made a turian flinch.

Despite all the medicine that had been pumped into her, now that her wound was open to the air, the pain hit her hard and fast. When the asari applied cleansing solutions and ointments, it only made it worse. The throbbing, stabbing, all-encompassing pain shot halfway down into her body all along the wound and she let out a strangled cry when the nurses touched her.

“I know it hurts,” one of the asari said. “We’re almost done.”

Shepard sincerely doubted the asari had any fucking clue what it felt like. The pain was so intense she felt sure she was going to pass out.

“Add a few more milliliters of orphus to her drip.”

Yes, God, please, _anything_.

“Commander, if you could take a step back.”

The tall, intimidating officer didn’t seem to know what to do with himself. He backed into the corner and took a seat at a table meant for guests. His eyes were glued to Shepard’s wound; she could see that swirling mix of curiosity and disgust.

Commander Vakarian’s face was the last thing she saw before the pain, and the orphus, knocked her out cold.

* * *

 

 **2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **April 2** nd

Garrus had been falling asleep at his terminal when he heard the _ping_ of his omni-tool alerting him to a message. He had been slumped down in his chair with his eyes half-closed, and he scrambled back up to check the message.

After his encounter with Shepard the night before, he’d gone home and stayed up half the night designing the software he needed to scoop C-sec’s systems for bounty alerts. The thought of contending with an information broker had put a lot of pressure on him, and he only had one shot to prove to Shepard that he wasn’t just some immature bumbling idiot of an officer.

The alert Garrus received was for a bounty that had just been placed on a drug dealer in District 38; ideal that it wasn’t his jurisdiction, easier to avoid direct action on the target. The drug dealer was a batarian named Plex, a mid-level distributor operating under an unknown supplier. As soon as he read the report, he removed the encryption on the message and forwarded it to Shepard’s extranet address.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.04.02][13:42]: How’s my timing? – G_

He tapped his foot and waited impatiently for a response. He had no clue what hours Shepard kept; she might still be sleeping, even though it was thirteen hundred hours already. She could also have been out on a run already. Maybe she’d just told him she would give him a chance to get him off her back, and she’d never respond. He tried to remind himself only a minute had passed, and he shouldn’t let his mind wander.

Time seemed to stretch on forever, but only two minutes after he sent the message, his omni-tool pinged with a reply.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.02][13:44]: Looks like you beat my girl. What’s the plan here?_

Garrus began hastily typing a reply, his heart pounding. The thought of breaking rules to bring in a criminal was more than a little exciting. If his father hadn’t raised and groomed him for C-sec practically since birth, he could have easily been a bounty hunter himself.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42] [2183.04.02][13:44]: Pulling his records from the archives. Your tech expert got anything on him? – G_

A moment passed and then she replied.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.02][13:45]: Yes. And? Do you actually have a plan, Vakarian?_

Not really, no.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.04.02][13:45]: Do you have his location? – G_

Her response wasn’t really an answer.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.02][13:46]: Where should I meet you?_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.04.02][13:46]: Just meet me at the station – G_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.02][13:46]: Chellick know what you’re up to?_

Garrus bristled. He doubted Chellick would care, but strictly speaking, he _didn’t_ know.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.04.02][13:47]: Just meet me here at eighteen hundred hours – G_

Nearly five minutes passed and he wondered if maybe she was getting cold feet, but then a final message came through.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.02][13:51]: Fine. Eighteen hundred hours. Stakeout required: bring binoculars…and snacks._

Both requests could be handled easily enough.

Overall, he was pretty pleased with himself, and feeling pretty smug. He _knew_ putting in the time to create his program would be worth the lack of sleep, and he was still impressed that he’d been able to convince a wild animal like Shepard to work with him.

If time had been passing slowly before, it absolutely crawled now. He’d spent the first half of his day struggling to stay awake while he filed paperwork, but now his blood was really pumping; a stakeout with a bounty hunter beat the hell out of virtual stacks of useless forms. Eighteen hundred hours really couldn’t come fast enough.

His motivation for working declined rapidly, and he spent the rest of the day struggling to finish filing his back-logged paperwork until Shepard arrived. When he had around twenty minutes left to go, he hopped up from his chair and headed for the breakroom to secure some snacks for the stakeout. He couldn’t say _why_ he was so eager to please Shepard, maybe he wanted to win her trust, really form a bond with her; she seemed so liable to flee at any mistake.

Officers Williams and Alenko were in the breakroom when Garrus arrived. The two humans were veterans of the wards, and had been assigned to district 42 around the same time Chellick had. Garrus didn’t mind them too much, as humans went: Williams was rough around the edges and strict about protocol, always eager to go above and beyond to prove her worth to the station; Alenko was too nice to be a cop, but he had incredible biotic ability and a history of service in the Alliance navy that suited him well in the heat of a mission.

“Hey, Garrus, how’s it going?” Alenko asked, smiling. He was always smiling, Garrus had even seen him smile at criminals as he locked them into their cells.

Garrus shrugged and tried to act cool, “You know.”

“You’ve been cooped up in the office all day, what have you been up to?” Williams asked through a mouthful of food.

“Paperwork, the usual.”

“Chellick said you went after that asari thief yesterday,” Williams said, “but you didn’t manage to get her. She turned up on our doorstep this morning with a note around her neck from some bounty hunter.”

Had Shepard managed to get the asari after she’d been let go? No, that was a stupid thought. There were plenty of bounty hunters on the Citadel, and when would Shepard have had the time?

“Well, I’m just glad someone caught her, then.” Garrus opened the cabinets along the wall and scanned for snacks. Considering that C-sec was made up of mostly turians, the food was largely meant for dextro-based life. Williams and Alenko were the only two humans in the district 42 station besides Lawson, so levo food was in especially low supply there.

“What are you looking for, Garrus?” Alenko asked.

“Oh, nothing in particular. Is Chellick in his office?”

“He was interrogating someone in room two when I left.” Williams shrugged.

Snacks were a no-go. He wasn’t going to steal from the levo supply with two of the only levos in the station sitting there watching him, so he turned back out of the breakroom, down the hallway that lead into the lobby.

Chellick exited interrogation room two as Garrus entered the lobby. The captain looked tired, flexing his fingers as he sauntered over to the front desk and slumped into the empty chair. The station Garrus had worked on the Presidium had its own assigned receptionist, but down in district 42, they didn’t have the funds for such a thing. Chellick had his own office, but he could often be found manning the front desk when he wasn’t on a case.

“Garrus.” The captain nodded at him. “You clocking out?”

“Still have ten minutes,” Garrus told him, glancing at the clock on his omni-tool.

“What’s ten minutes?” Chellick shrugged. “You getting a lot done in ten minutes?”

“Well, no…”

Chellick yawned and rubbed his brow plate. “Fuck me, it’s been a long day.”

Garrus had sought out Chellick with the intention of bringing up his plans with Shepard, or at least testing the waters, but he had quickly lost his nerve. Instead, he tried to make small talk while he waited for the bounty hunter to show up.

“Williams said you were interrogating someone?”

“Eh, just a guy they found carrying a pound of hallex a few blocks down. I was trying to get info on the dealer. It looks like the same stock we picked up last week. Might be Plex’s doing, but I can’t get any info on his location and now there’s a bounty on his head. Probably his _supplier’s_ doing, to be honest. Word is someone’s scooping Plex’s customers and the supplier isn’t happy about it.”

Well, it was probably a good thing Garrus hadn’t brought up his plans.

“Where’d you hear that?” He asked, trying to maintain a complete air of ignorance.

“Chatter on the channels.” Chellick waved his hand dismissively. “Who knows if it’s true?”

The door to the station opened before Garrus could say anything more. He looked up to find Shepard standing with her arms crossed, a pistol holstered at her hip.

“Turning yourself in, Shepard? Or did Jack do something again?” Chellick asked, leaning forward on his desk.

Shepard walked slowly over to the desk, her hips swaying as she moved, eyes locked with Chellick’s. Garrus watched the scene unfold with a morbid fascination. The way Shepard moved, and the way Chellick’s eyes followed her, it was clear she knew _exactly_ what she was doing to him. Chellick seemed to have forgotten Garrus was even there.

“Hey, Chellick,” Shepard said, leaning over the desk and letting him get a view down the front of her shirt.

Chellick’s mandibles twitched and he suddenly seemed to remember he wasn’t alone with the human. He straightened up and cleared his throat.

“You have to turn in your thermal clips while you’re in the station. C-sec policy.”

“I’m not staying. I’m actually here for Garrus,” Shepard stood up straight and finally acknowledged that Garrus was in the room with them. Her eyes moved to his and then back to Chellick.

The captain’s mouth open and closed a few times before he spoke. “Garrus? What?” He looked wildly back and forth between the two of them. Shepard had a cruel grin on her face.

“Didn’t he tell you? We have plans. Are you ready, Garrus?” She eyed him up and down and the grin slid off her face. “Where are the binoculars? And the snacks?”

“Oh! I’ll grab the binoculars. We don’t have any levo food really…” Something about Shepard was very authoritative. He shouldn’t have responded quite so obediently.

“Fucking turians,” Shepard cursed. “You _could_ keep extra levo supplies just in case you have visitors.” She said this last part to Chellick.

Garrus didn’t hear whatever Chellick said in response. He hurried to get the binoculars from the supply cabinet in the office, and when he returned, Shepard was leaning over the desk again, Chellick practically drooling. He _had_ wished he’d been wrong about the captain.

For a moment, Garrus stood in the doorway and just observed them. He didn’t understand the appeal of humans, though the way she wasn’t afraid to boss anyone around was _definitely_ something turians appreciated in a woman. Chellick had always had a fondness for humans, though. Whenever they went out to the bars, he always seemed to leave with a human in tow.

Shepard traced her hand over Chellick’s lower lip and his mandibles fluttered as he said something to her. From his spot by the door, Garrus couldn’t hear anything. He wondered how far things would escalate if he didn’t intervene, even in such an open environment with large windows facing out to the street.

He didn’t have to wait long to find out. Shepard shoved Chellick back into his seat and stood up, folding her arms and tapping her foot impatiently. Garrus resumed his path up to the desk with the binoculars in hand.

“You know, technically what you just did could be considered assaulting an officer,” Chellick said.

“Okay. Garrus, you want to arrest me?” She turned her sharp gaze to him.

“Er…not really. I’m off duty now,” he hesitated.

“Just go,” Chellick groaned.

Garrus was eager to get out of the station, partially because it made him uncomfortable watching the human toying with his captain (and the captain so readily falling victim to it), and partially because he was eager to get on the hunt.

The evening traffic was at its peak when they stepped outside, people bustling back and forth while skycars buzzed past, ramping off of the rapid transit highway from the Presidium. Shepard stood next to Garrus on the front steps and watched the foot traffic with a frown.

“You said you had info on Plex’s location?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah, he’s higher up in the ward,” Shepard explained. “Lives in some high-rise, but my tech person got info that he’s heading to a party in district 36 tonight. Do you have any unmarked police cruisers? We need to wait outside his apartment building until he comes out and then tail him to the party.”

“Well…I can’t technically take a police cruiser when I’m off duty…”

“If you’re going to do this with me, Vakarian, you have to be willing to break a few rules. Chellick’s your boss. What’s he going to do if he finds out you took it?” She gave him a hard stare while she waited for his answer.

“Honestly? He’ll probably just ask me if I at least used it to get laid.”

She surprised him with a pat of her hand against his mandible. “There you go. Now come on, we don’t need to waste any time sitting around here. Last check from my tech person said Plex is still in his apartment, but we have no clue when he’ll leave.”

So much for not breaking any laws while he worked with Shepard. He supposed borrowing a police cruiser wasn’t the worst thing he could do for the sake of bringing a major drug-distributor to justice.

The cruisers were all parked in a garage behind the station, with a lockbox protecting the keys to each one. There were several levels of encryption to go through to open the lockbox, and when Garrus reached it, he turned to Shepard before he began to enter the codes.

“Can you turn around, please? And give me your omni-tool.”

“Smarter than fucking Chellick, aren’t you? I don’t care about the code to your stupid box. If I wanted to get the keys, I’d find a way, and I’m not one for senseless joyrides in police cars. My friend Jack, though…”

Garrus’ mandibles pinched against his face. “Just give it to me and turn around. I’ll give it back once I have the keys.”

Shepard groaned, but she complied, and it felt like a minor victory.

Once the keys for the unmarked cruiser were secured, he followed through on his end of the deal and returned her omni-tool, leading them over to the jet-black sky car parked at the end of the garage; with a quick click of the key, the doors slid open.

Shepard slid into the passenger seat and looked around. “Pretty nice considering the kind of budget Bachjret stations get.”

“It’s new. Part of the executor’s initiative for funding,” Garrus explained as he sat in the driver’s seat and started up the car. It glided smoothly out of the spot and up into the skyway.

“You always call him ‘the executor’? He’s your dad, isn’t he?” She pressed her face against the window to watch the view of the ward zooming by beneath them.

“It turns out other officers will make fun of you if you continuously refer to the executor as ‘dad’ in front of them,” he replied dryly.

“Makes sense. I sent you the coordinates, by the way.”

Garrus brought up his omni-tool, confirming what Shepard had promised. He plugged the coordinates into the cruiser’s self-driving mechanism and let it lead them to their destination.

He felt tense and jittery as they moved. Had this all been a huge mistake? He was excited about the possibility of bringing in a criminal that deserved a long stay in prison, and he knew Chellick wouldn’t do anything if he found out about his working with a bounty hunter, but what would the _executor_ think?

He knew exactly what his father would think. He liked bounty hunters about as much as he liked Spectres, which was to say not at all. He had no patience for people who worked beyond the law, whether because they were given Council authority to do so, or because they simply chose to ignore the laws that existed.

“So, uh…you and Chellick…” Garrus tried to stop thinking about his father, but the only other thought in his mind was Shepard’s history with his captain.

“He’s stupid, isn’t he? So easy to manipulate. No clue how he got promoted to captain.”

“He’s good at his job, when it comes to criminals that are really dangerous.” He had no clue _why_ he was defending Chellick. It _was_ stupid to have sex with criminals in exchange for their freedom, and morally bankrupt. As far as he knew, though, he’d never done anything similar with the other delinquents he’d brought in.

“Yeah, he’s all right. Mostly.” Shepard shrugged.

“How long have you, uh…known each other?”

“We go way back,” was her only reply.

The cruiser continued along the skyway silently, other cars zipped past them to get ahead, but he kept the speed at a steady, reasonable pace to keep from attracting any attention. If another officer pulled them over, the call would inevitably go in to Chellick, or worse, the commander.

Garrus tried to think of something else to say.

“How’d you get into bounty hunting?”

She stared at him. “I knew how to shoot a gun and I needed money.”

“Better than robbing a bank I guess,” he muttered.

“I would ask how you decided to join C-sec, but I’m sure I know.”

The cruiser began its descent out of the skyway and down onto a side street, parking itself across the street from a high-rise apartment building and announcing that their destination had been reached. Garrus shut the car off and pocketed the key.

“You been on many stakeouts, Vakarian?” Shepard asked, grabbing the binoculars from him and using them to get a visual on the front entrance to the high-rise.

“A few.” There hadn’t been much reason for them on the Presidium, but he’d ran a few with Lawson in the past couple months. She had been even more closed-off than Shepard seemed to be.

“I have no clue what time this guy is supposed to show up. Hey Tali, what’s the word on our guy?” Shepard spoke suddenly into a comm link at her wrist.

A slightly distorted female voice sounded on the other end a moment later. “Still inside his apartment. Heat signature indicates life signs.”

“Thanks. I’ll buzz you if I need you again.”

“How do you have a heat signature on him?” Garrus balked.

“I don’t question Tali’s ways, I just let her do her job.”

Garrus leaned forward on the dash to get a view of the high-rise. A doorman stood outside, opening the front entrance to tenants as they approached or left; above the main floor, the windows to all the apartments were tinted to prevent any unwanted eyes from sneaking a peek inside.

“So,” Shepard said, keeping the binoculars on the door, “How old _are_ you exactly?”

“What?” He hadn’t been expecting the question.

“Well, you’re obviously a lot younger than Chellick. You look like such a kid.”

“Why does it matter how old I am? I’m old enough.”

“That is _such_ a kid thing to say.” She laughed.

His mandibles flared and he snorted in irritation. “I’m _twenty-six_.”

“Hm, about what I thought.”

“You’re not that much older than me,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but I’ve got more life experience.” When he didn’t say anything, too annoyed to respond, she continued talking. “You know the details of this bounty, right?”

“A thousand credits for turning him in.” Garrus nodded.

“A thousand credits for turning him in to C-sec, yeah. But I only get my bounty if I send the poster one of his fingers. Otherwise C-sec will get all the credit and this guy won’t know if Plex learned his lesson.” The news jarred him, but she said it so casually.

“You have to chop off his _finger_?”

“Did you think this was going to be like a C-sec run?” She turned to face him. “This is your trial run, Vakarian. _This_ is what I do. A finger is pretty mild, considering. Usually they want their bodies delivered straight to them. If you really want to do this you have to be willing to live with the fact that some of these assholes are going to die. I’ve got my own code to follow; I don’t feel remorse when someone like a serial rapist gets a bullet between the eyes. You shouldn’t either.”

He _had_ agreed to this to circumvent the laws and protocols that kept him from apprehending violent criminals on his own, but cold-blooded murder…the justice system existed for a reason.

“What if these people are actually innocent? Due process of the law is…”

“I just told you I have my own code,” she hissed. “I don’t go after bounties that have no proven record. I don’t take bounties that want a kill if the criminal is low or mid-level and only dealing with drugs or some sort of economic crime. I only kill murderers and rapists and I don’t feel bad about it. Does that sound okay to you?”

For some reason, he hadn’t expected bounty hunters to have any code of ethics, particularly not one like Shepard. He had to admit, her code seemed to hold up to his own standards.

“That’s fine, then. Where do you draw the line at dismemberment?”

“Nobody’s going to miss one finger.”

Garrus held up his hand, stretching his three fingers in front of her. “Speak for yourself, five-fingers.”

“Well, this guy is a batarian, and he won’t miss one finger.”

She turned back to examine the doorway and a few more minutes of silence passed between them.

“Kind of surprised your dear old dad lets you work down in the wards,” she said after some length of time. “Would have thought someone like the executor would want to make sure his son was safe from harm.”

“My dad is committed to duty. He was proud of me for applying for this transfer, knew I could do more good down here than up on the Presidium.” Garrus puffed his chest out, feeling oddly defensive.

“You cops have no clue,” she scoffed. “I’m surprised Chellick is still doing it, to be honest. The criminals on Bachjret are a whole different breed. It’s not a fun game, not a puzzle to solve. It’s life or death for most people down here. So far I haven’t seen C-sec make a big dent in that problem.”

“Have you lived down here your whole life?”

“You’re the cop. You’re telling me you haven’t looked me up on the extranet?”

“I figured you already don’t trust me. How is me snooping into your personal history going to help? _Most_ people get to know one another through talking, like we’re doing right now.” He folded his arms over his chest and stared at the high-rise while he spoke.

“I didn’t grow up here,” she surprised him with an answer. “But I’ve lived here long enough to know what a clusterfuck it is and how little C-sec does to impact that. Maybe the executor’s big push will really make a difference, but I doubt it. C-Sec has too many protocols and you’re playing with criminals who have no boundaries. It’s not an equal fight.”

“That’s why I-“

He was cut off by Shepard screaming, “Shit, that’s him!”

Before Garrus really knew what was happening, the passenger door flew open and Shepard ran across the street so fast she might have been able to outrun a turian. He grabbed the binoculars from the seat where she’d thrown them and trained them on the batarian exiting the high-rise.

Plex had two turian bodyguards with him, and Garrus felt a nervous pang in his stomach as Shepard rushed them without a second’s hesitation. He couldn’t get out and help her, he wasn’t supposed to be there at all.

She didn’t need his help, it turned out. With a skill he had certainly not anticipated from such an impulsive, graceless person, she fired off two well placed shots that hit the bodyguards in the back of the knee where a gap existed in their armor. The injured turians fell forward, grasping for their weapons, but she was too fast. Using the full force of her weight, she flung herself into the batarian, knocking them both to the ground. A second later she was on her feet, the batarian slung across her shoulders in a military hold.

Suddenly she was moving back toward the police cruiser, slowed by the batarian’s weight. Garrus rushed to start the car up as the turian bodyguards back on the sidewalk took aim with their assault rifles. Two shots clipped Shepard’s shields before she got to the car, but she didn’t even flinch.

When she reached the cruiser, she tossed the batarian into the backseat, slammed her fist against the button to activate the dividing barrier, then shut her door as two more bullets flew in her direction.

Garrus winced at the sound of the shots hitting the cruiser door, but he realized he had no time to hesitate either. He jerked the car upward and they shot forward into the skyway and out of reach of the gunfire.

In the back seat, the batarian groaned and slammed his fist against the mass effect barrier. Garrus caught a glance of him in the rear view mirror, all four of his eyes narrowed in a rage aimed directly at Shepard.

“Fucking cops? Let me out of here!” He screamed.

Shepard dropped the barrier without warning and clambered into the back seat.

“Shepard, what the fuck are you doing?” Garrus cried, hurrying to set the cruiser into autopilot so he could focus on whatever it was that was unfolding before him.

He turned around and found her on top of the batarian, slamming her fists into his face while he struggled pathetically beneath her.

“You wish I was a cop!” Shepard growled. “You know who put the bounty on your head, don’t you?”

The batarian’s eyes widened. “Bounty hunter… _fuck_. No, no, no. Please! Don’t cut off my fingers! I’ll tell you anything! _Anything_!”

“Yeah, you will,” Shepard said, drawing her omni-blade. “And if you don’t, I’m going to cut off more than just your fingers.”

“Shepard, please…if you get blood in the back seat…” Garrus tried to reason with her.

“I’ll pay you for the cleaning fee with my bounty.” She leveled another punch against the side of the batarian’s face. “Who’s paying your bounty, Plex?”

Garrus watched her work with a dawning realization. The supplier of the bounty didn’t matter to her; she had set coordinates to send the finger to, undoubtedly. There was no bounty to speak of on the supplier’s head, most likely. Was she extracting the information for him?

A gesture of good faith, perhaps?

“Stop, stop punching me! I’ll tell you!” Plex screamed. “I get everything through an intermediary. I don’t know the supplier’s name, but the intermediary who works for him is a volus named Goval Tanos. He’s the one who can point you to my supplier! I’ve got nothing else!”

“Then you’re useless to me.”

Garrus saw the fire burning in Shepard’s eyes as she yanked the batarian’s hand up and sliced his index finger off with one clean cut from her omni-blade. The batarian wailed at higher pitch than Garrus thought batarians possible of reaching, but Shepard ignored him. Her movements were quick, precise, and efficient. As soon as the finger came off, her hands were against the stump, applying medi-gel to stem the bleeding, then stowing the finger in a bag she’d brought for that specific purpose.

She punched the batarian one more time for good measure and then climbed back into the front seat, reactivating the mass effect barrier behind her.

Garrus was staring at her with his mouth hanging wide open, but he didn’t even realize, too completely in awe of the skill she’d displayed every step of the way in securing the target. She wiped some sweat from her forehead and faced him with a grin.

“That felt good.” She reached her hand over to his face and tapped his jaw shut. “Good trial run, Vakarian. I think we can do this again. What about you?”

Quite frankly, he would have done absolutely anything she asked him to at that point. He’d never seen a _human_ move so quickly, with such strength and authority, with such precision. Of all the bounty hunters he could have struck up a deal with, she was undoubtedly the right choice.

“Did you get the volus’ name? Goval Tanos. Give that info to Chellick, he’ll want it. I think I didn’t get any blood on the seat, but it’s dark, so you’ll have to check with a flashlight,” she chattered next to him while he continued to stare. “I’ll leave the batarian on the front step with a note. Just make sure he gets logged in the system, otherwise I don’t get my credits, finger or no.” She looked at him and rolled her eyes. “You turians, you’re all the same.”

He shook his head. “What?”

“You’re all so enamored by strength and skill. It’s not hard to impress a turian. All you have to do is kick someone’s ass with a little more grace than a krogan.”

He tried to argue, but the only thing he could think to say was, “What you just did was incredible. Are you trying to downplay that? We could use someone with skill like that in C-sec if…”

She cut him off quickly. “I have no fucking interest in joining C-sec.”

He had clearly hit a nerve. It wasn’t as if she _could_ join C-sec anyway, not with her list of priors.

“Sorry.” He sidled back in his seat. “The point is, you clearly know what you’re doing. I want to do this again. I can update my software to match your code and let you know what kind of hits I get.”

“That sounds good.”

The cruiser made its way back toward the station in silence, the only sound was the batarian in the back seat groaning periodically and cursing at Shepard specifically. When they landed and parked the cruiser back in the garage, Chellick was standing against the wall with his arms crossed. Garrus’ heart dropped into his stomach.

“Well, shit.” He cursed under his breath.

Shepard smacked his chest with the flat of her palm. “You let me take care of this.”

She opened up the passenger door and moved around to the back, yanking the batarian from inside and slinging him over her shoulder. Chellick watched her approach him without a word, his eyes darting over to Garrus once before training back on Shepard.

“I brought you a present, Chellick,” she said, dropping the batarian at his feet.

“What is this?” He tapped the batarian’s side with his boot.

“Plex. I’m keeping his finger though. I’ve got a bounty to claim.”

Chellick’s mandibles twitched and he turned his attention to Garrus. “You had a hand in this Vakarian?” His subvocals resonated at a low frequency; he didn’t sound _angry_ , just sort of exhausted.

“I, uh…didn’t touch the batarian. I took the unmarked cruiser for a spin and Shepard somehow also ended up in the cruiser…with a batarian…and, on a completely unrelated note, I found a connection to the batarian’s supplier,” Garrus explained.

Chellick sighed. “Maybe I’ll find this guy tomorrow morning with a note around his neck that has that connection’s name. If that’s the case, I can use the information. If _you_ give me the information, Garrus, it’s inadmissible and I won’t be able to get a warrant. So keep your mouth shut and hand me the keys to the cruiser.”

Garrus wasn’t going to press his luck. He hurried over to Chellick and handed over the keys.

The captain turned his attention back to Shepard. Without looking away from her, he said, “Go home, Garrus. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Garrus hesitated.

“Go on, Vakarian,” Shepard said. “Or don’t you remember? I know how to handle myself.”

Reluctantly, Garrus left them to whatever would happen, just relieved it hadn’t gone worse. Everything he’d done had been such an enormous violation of C-sec protocol, but it had felt _good_ , exhilarating even.

He couldn’t wait to do it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for all the nice comments so far. I'm having a real blast writing this so hopefully you're enjoying reading it!


	4. Seeing Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains sexual content

**2183**  
**Bachjret Ward -District 42**  
 **April 6th**

Barely a week back under Chellick’s jurisdiction and Shepard already had a backlog of favors accumulating. Her little bounty run with Vakarian had been fun, even a little exhilarating, but also exhausting; when they found Chellick waiting for them in the garage upon their return, she was relieved to find that he was as tired as she was, willing to let the situation pass and let her walk away to return to the conversation at a later date when it would be more worth their time.

That was fine, one favor was easily repaid, and really, wasn’t the intel she’d given him on that case repayment enough?

It _would_ have been fine if that had been the _only_ favor, but they were piling up faster than she could keep track of. Some of the crimes weren’t her fault, really; she had a feeling her roommates were all a bit laxer on standards operating under the knowledge that Chellick was manning their district again.

Zaeed had fired into an open crowd going after a target, which he told her casually one morning as they sat in the living room watching the news. Not long after she received this update, a message from Chellick pinged on her omni-tool.

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.04.06][9:52]: This one still belong to you?_

An image of Zaeed’s mugshot from several years earlier was attached.

“Chellick’s got a warrant for your arrest, Zaeed,” she told him.

“I expect you’ll be able to take care of that,” the old merc grinned.

“And if I’m not?”

“Do I need to remind you that I’m the one who brought in fourteen-thousand credits in the last week? To your measly four. You need to start carrying your weight around here, Shepard.” He cackled at his own joke.

The following day, she got a message from Jacob, usually the most stalwart and law-abiding of her squad.

_JMAN_Taylor1120[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.07][12:24]: Accidentally shot at a cop. Chellick took care of it._

The final addition to the tally came while she was out on her second run with Garrus. He’d gotten word of a five-thousand-dollar bounty for a krogan who had killed two civilians during a gang fight in the lower ward. Unfortunately, they were taking the long way, by foot. He was too scared to take the cruiser out again.

“Did Chellick reprimand you for borrowing the cruiser?” Shepard asked, kicking at some rocks on the street as they walked.

She hadn’t reached out to him after the bounty run. She wanted to keep the relationship strictly professional: wait for him to contact her with hits and only meet with him for runs. It was murky enough water getting involved in anything with Castis Vakarian’s son.

“Not really, actually. Said I should be careful with you, though. I think he’s got the same mindset you do. He thinks I’m too young and naïve. I think he was genuinely surprised I was helping you.” The young turian sounded almost proud of himself for that.

Chellick _had_ been surprised, he had told Shepard as much. She knew he had wanted to ask her what else was going on, if she was seeking out the kind of relationship with Garrus that she had with him, but he never did. He wisely knew it wasn’t any of his business.

Handsome or not, Shepard had no interest in crossing that line with Garrus. There were too many problematic factors, and even if there hadn’t been, he just seemed too innocent for that.

She tried to think of something to bring the conversation away from Garrus and his captain. All she had thought about for the past week was Chellick. Fucking Chellick. And that unexpected orgasm he’d given her. And all the favors she owed him.

“So this is a kill bounty,” she said to Garrus. “You gonna be okay with that?”

“Your code makes sense to me. He killed two innocent civilians, so…what’s that human phrase? An eye for an eye?”

“This should be an easy five-thousand credits. It was a good find on your part.” She commended him.

“Listen, I…uh…I wanted to thank you. I realize you didn’t have to get that information from the batarian, I know you could have just cut off his finger and been done with him. But we’ve gotten some substantial leads from the intel. So I appreciate it.” His mandibles flared as he spoke.

“I can be nice. Sometimes.”

He laughed. “I don’t know, I’m still a little scared of you.”

Good. She preferred it that way. “Maybe you should be.”

The walk to the lower wards from the station was long and it was getting late, almost a new cycle. Shepard had slept half the day in anticipation for the late rendezvous with Garrus, and she was wired on three cups of coffee, despite Thane’s insistence that too much caffeine might affect her aim. It was one krogan; Shepard had taken down plenty of krogan before.

“You have any family in the area?” Garrus asked in an attempt to make conversation.

“My friends are the closest thing I have to a family. Everyone else is dead.” No sense in beating around the bush.

People always got uncomfortable with how blunt she could be. Garrus was no exception. His mandibles twitched as he searched for something to say.

“I’m sorry.”

Fuck if he didn’t sound just like his father.

“Don’t be, I hate pity.” She replied sharply. “What about you? Besides your dad the executor, I mean.” She already knew the answer, but the less Garrus knew about her connection to his father, the better.

“I have a younger sister. She lives up on the Presidium. She’s dating an asari and my dad doesn’t know…sorry you didn’t ask about that.” He looked at her unsurely.

“No, go on. We might be spending a lot of time together. I don’t talk much and especially not about my past, but I’m happy to listen.” She tried to soften her voice, but she could feel the hard edge beneath it. How else to make it clear to him that questions about who she was, what she had been, were off limits?

Garrus hesitated for a moment, but eventually continued. “Yeah, my sister is seeing this asari that’s about…two hundred years older than her. My dad has a real problem with big life-span differences, so it’s not the smartest thing she’s ever done. I guess it could be worse. She could be dating a human.”

“Your dad doesn’t like humans?” News to her.

“It’s not that he doesn’t like them,” Garrus shrugged. “He’s just less trusting of them. He’d be upset if Solana or I brought one home, is what I’m saying. Anyway, I told Solana she should tell him about her girlfriend, but she’s too scared of how he’ll react. She wants me to tell him for her.”

“There could be worse problems,” Shepard laughed. “What about your mom?”

“My mom died a couple of years ago,” Garrus said, mandibles pinching tight to his face as he stared at his feet.

“Oh, I…” She hadn’t known and now she felt bad for asking, but an apology rang a little hollow when she had just told him not to pity her for her own losses.

“It’s fine, I’ve had time to deal with it,” he said quickly.

Her omni-tool pinged and she sighed, but she was thankful for the distraction from the now uncomfortable conversation. When she opened the message, she saw it was from Chellick, but the content was incomprehensible.

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.04.08][29:52]: Guess who Idhs uPQhdakj >>>2221,dnd_

She halted in place. What the hell?

“What is it, Shepard?” Garrus asked.

Before she could answer, her comm link rang. She activated the connection and chaos sounded on the other end. Metal slammed against metal and two people she didn’t recognize shouted in the background; the characteristic deep rumble of a krogan voice was drowned out by something even more familiar.

“I’ll fucking kill you, you krogan bastard! GRRRAAAHHH!”

“Get her in an interrogation room! Now!” Chellick’s voice cut in.

“ _What_ is going on there?” Garrus cocked his head and stared at the comm link on Shepard’s wrist.

There was another clatter of noise and then silence before Chellick spoke again.

“Shepard? Are you there?”

“Uh, I’m here, Chellick.” What the hell what the hell _what the hell_.

“I assume you heard Jack?”

“Yes, I heard her.” She sighed.

“You need to come to the station.”

“I’m kind of in the middle of something.” She glanced sideways at Garrus. “Can’t you just throw her in a cell and I’ll come get her when I’m done?”

“Yes, I know you’re in the middle of something. Going after a krogan with Vakarian, or am I wrong? A krogan with a warrant out for two kills on the lower wards? Sounding familiar?”

“How did he know I…?” Garrus started.

“You think because I’m lax on my standards for petty crime that I don’t know what goes on in my station, under my nose, Garrus?” Chellick barked from the other end of the line. “The krogan is here too, in lockdown. He’s too big for our interrogation chairs. I’ve got more qualms with the krogan than Jack, though she did just try to blow a hole through Alenko’s face. Just get your ass over here, Shepard.”

He severed the connection.

Shepard was so angry that it wasn’t even registering as blind rage. Blind rage would have been good, she could have shot up an abandoned building or maybe punched Garrus for no fucking reason except that he was standing there and she was pissed. Instead, she was so mad that all she could do was clench her fists and shake.

“Shepard…?” Garrus took a reasonable step away from her.

“I am going to _kill_ Jack.”

“Well isn’t it kind of good news that Chellick has the krogan? That means he’s in custody and…”

“No, it’s not fucking good news, Garrus. That was a bounty I was counting on. Do you know how quickly five thousand credits goes in an apartment with seven people living in it?” _Giving away personal information, Shepard, check yourself._ She couldn’t bother, she was too angry. “Five thousand credits is fucking nothing. That’s not even rent for a month. And the scumbags that place these bounties, they know there’s a market, they know there’s always going to be someone who will take it, so they can pay whatever the hell they want. If I did this out of the goodness of my heart, I’d be a fucking cop and not a bounty hunter, wouldn’t I?”

He gaped at her and said nothing.

She rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. Let’s just go back to the station so I can sort this out.”

They turned around and walked in silence. Several minutes passed, the only sounds coming from the people around them, making their way through the ward without concern as to the hour. Bachjret was busy thirty hours a day, never resting, but Shepard found the constant bustle somewhat comforting: nothing ever stopped for your ego down in the wards.

“Seven people?” Garrus finally asked. He’d clearly been holding in his curiosity for as long as he could possibly stand.

“We’re not talking about it.”

“Well then who is Jack?”

No harm in that. She had no doubt that Garrus would become well-acquainted with Jack as long as he was stationed in their district, better to warn the poor guy ahead of time.

“Jack’s one of my roommates. She’s…a lot to handle.” That was putting it mildly, of course. “Very powerful biotic, very fond of chaos and destruction, really enjoys being naked as much as humanly possible. I’d be willing to guess that more than half of her priors are public indecency.”

“I wonder why she was brought in with the krogan.” Garrus pondered aloud.

“I sent her a message telling her I had claimed the bounty for our house and she definitely read it, so she better have a good explanation.”

When they reached the station, after a long and tense walk back, Shepard had calmed down somewhat: at least she had downgraded from wanting to kill Jack to just wanting to maim her.

“You know, you don’t have to come in with me, Vakarian. You’re off duty.” She told him when they reached the front doors.

“It’s fine. I’ll see if Alenko’s all right and if Chellick needs any help.” Such a Good Little Boy.

They walked into the station to find Chellick asleep at the front desk. He had a welt on the side of his neck the size of a golf ball and his hand was resting in a pile of melting ice. At the sound of the door closing behind them, he jerked his head up and looked around, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

“Shepard,” he greeted her, subharmonics trilling. She knew that pitch: unmistakable annoyance. “Garrus, what are you doing here?” He turned his gaze to the younger officer.

“I figured I would come back with Shepard, see if I could help with any cleanup or…”

“No, it’s fine now. The krogan is in lockdown, Alenko went home, you can too.”

Garrus never seemed to like to leave Shepard alone with Chellick. She didn’t know what exactly the young turian thought of their relationship; he had pried about it during their first run, but she hadn’t divulged much. Her best guess was that Garrus thought there was something more sinister going on, as if Shepard wouldn’t break Chellick’s dick in half if he tried to touch her without her permission.

“I’m sorry about tonight, Shepard. I’ll, uh…I’ll keep in touch.” He glanced once more at Chellick and then turned around and left the station.

“Where’s Jack?” Shepard asked as soon as he was gone.

“I let her go. She wasn’t worth the fucking trouble.” Chellick flexed the hand that had been resting on ice.

Shepard leaned over the desk and pressed her fingers to the welt on his neck. He winced.

“Her work, I’m assuming.”

“She hit me with a biotic kick, all concentrated into one spot.” His mandibles flared as Shepard pressed some of the ice against the welt. “I’ve been begging Commander Aiala for some biotic damping machines for the interrogation room, but they spent our budget on the fucking cruisers instead.”

“Damping machines are just a challenge to Jack,” she told him.

“One week of you back in my district and I’ve already had more than I can take.” He leaned his head back and let out a long, low groan. “How did I survive nearly two years of this?”

“Well, things were more spread out. We’re just making up for lost time now.”

He laughed. “I was home sleeping when Alenko called from his cruiser to say they were bringing in a krogan and a biotic covered in tattoos. Do you know how hard it was to get out of bed knowing I had to come in and deal with Jack?”

She moved around the desk and straddled herself across his lap. “I’m sorry, Chellick.” She brushed her nose against his and toyed with kissing him. “I should make it up to you.”

“You should,” he agreed, swallowing hard. “But not in the lobby of my station.”

“Where, then?”

“Come with me.”

He led her out to the garage, opening the lockbox in front of her. So _stupid_. Or trusting. She wasn’t sure which was worse. He grabbed the first set of keys he saw and opened up the car doors.

“Get in the back, I’m just going to drive it out to this parking lot I know where no one will bother us,” he told her.

“Yeah, you’d like me to get in the back, wouldn’t you?”

“Shepard, you can boss me around all you want once we’re parked,” he said, exasperated.

As he had promised, it was a short drive to the abandoned lot where he parked the cruiser and turned it off. Once the car was off, the only light was the distant glow from the surrounding buildings. Chellick climbed out of the driver’s seat, pulled all of his clothes off, and then climbed into the back seat where Shepard had already removed her clothing as well.

She’d fucked in cars before, it wasn’t easy to take off your clothes in the heat of things.

She climbed onto his lap slowly and brought her lips against his neck. In response, his talons dug into her thighs and he leaned his head back to expose more of his neck to her.

“I did miss the regularity of these meetings,” he said.

“Yeah,” she breathed into his shoulder and let her hands slide down his stomach toward his closed pelvic plates. “I was getting a little spoiled getting laid on such a regular basis. Before last week, I think it had been four months.”

Her index finger traced along a hairline gap between his chest plating and his pelvic plating and his subvocals rumbled deep in his chest.

“ _Spirits_ ,” He gasped. “You’re the only human I’ve ever been with who knows to do that.”

The touch hade made his pelvic plates come partially open, revealing the sheath protected beneath them. She pressed her fingers lightly against the top of the sheath and he made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

“I know all the right places to touch you, Chellick.”

“Yes,” he gripped her bottom and pulled her against him, pressing his lips to hers with a rough kiss.

It felt good, and she needed to spend some time kissing and groping before she coaxed him out of his sheath if she was going to enjoy it at all. His tongue slid inside her mouth and she found herself wishing he’d use it between her legs, just once.

He grabbed her hair and yanked her head back, just hard enough to expose her neck and chest. His lips moved along her skin, tongue darting out to taste her as he kissed every bare inch of her neck, moving to her collarbones and down to her breasts. He swirled his tongue in a slow circle around her nipple, then his teeth nipped gently at her skin.

Who the fuck was this and what had he done with Chellick?

One of his hands slid across her bottom and down between her legs. A finger rubbed tentatively against her clit and when she let out a little gasp and moaned into his neck, he applied more pressure readily.

“Chellick…” She gripped his neck.

He kissed her shoulder and grazed his teeth across her skin, his finger moving between her legs all the while.

 _Fuck him._ Why did it have to feel so good?

Struggling to focus, she let a hand move back down between his legs to his sheath. Her fingers dipped carefully inside, stroking along the length of his cock until it freed itself into her hand. He removed his fingers from between her legs and gripped her hips tightly, guiding her slit along the length of his shaft and back again.

“Are you fucking teasing me, Chellick?” She gasped in disbelief.

“I told you, I’ve learned a few things.”

All she could think about was his fucking cock. This was dire, but she needed him inside of her immediately.

“Stop teasing and fuck me already,” she growled.

He responded just like any good turian would. She hitched her hips up and helped guide him inside of her. Once she had settled against him, she had to do most of the work, rolling her bottom against his pelvis as his hips thrusted up to meet her. That was fine, she liked being in the driver's seat.

Unfortunately, barely seconds into a rhythm and the odd angle at which she held her legs caused a cramp to run up her calf. She howled and smacked his chest.

“Fuck fuck fuck! Help me, Chellick, oh _fucking shit_ …”

“Shepard?” He stared at her in alarm.

She forced herself off of him and fell to the floor of the car, stretching her leg out as far as it would go and flexing it to work the cramp out. Just her luck that she would be having some of the best sex Chellick had ever had to offer and her leg would sabotage it.

Once he realized what had happened, he reached down and massaged the length of her calf. It hurt like hell, but it solved the problem.

“Police cruisers aren’t the ideal space for this,” she growled from her spot on the floor.

He leaned his head back and burst out laughing.

“It’s not fucking funny, Chellick!”

“It’s a little funny.” He helped her back up into the seat. “Let’s try it another way, hm?”

With a surprisingly gentle touch, he pulled her underneath him, along the length of the seat, and moved between her legs, guiding himself back inside of her. She hooked her legs over his hip spurs and clutched his neck.

The car shook with each thrust of his hips; she could only imagine what it looked like from outside. He had seemed fairly confident that no one would notice or bother them there, and the harder he rammed his cock inside of her, the less she cared what the hell anyone else thought.

He kissed her neck and grunted as he moved. When she started to sweat, his tongue lapped against her skin and he moaned next to her ear.

“You taste good, Shepard.”

God his dick felt good.

She dragged her nails down the back of his carapace and arched against him. She wasn’t going to cum this way, but it still felt pretty good, particularly compared to past experiences with him. And at least her leg wasn’t cramping anymore.

Her chest heaved with each breath. She had nearly all of his weight on top of her and turians were not light by any means. She would have been breathing hard regardless, though, with the speed at which he was driving into her.

“ _Chellick_ ,” she gasped. “Fuck…Chellick… _harder_.”

“Trying,” he pressed his face into the curve of her shoulder and thrust harder.

His legs were trembling against hers, the movement of his hips losing its rhythm. He moaned loudly into her skin and pumped desperately as he spilled himself inside of her. Once he had cum, his thrusts slowed to a halt and he lay on top of her, motionless.

She gave him a minute before she smacked his arm.

“Chellick, you’re too heavy.”

Slowly and reluctantly, he sat up and leaned back against the seat. She stretched her legs out over his thighs and he rested his hands on top of her shins, both of them silent for several minutes.

After a while, he turned to look at her, his eyes roving up the length of her body. She watched him wordlessly.

He placed the flat of his palm gently on top of her stomach, rubbing his thumb against the upraised flesh of her scar. He was so damn fond of that horrendous scar.

“You tell Garrus you know his dad yet?” He asked.

“No and I wasn’t planning on it, so I’d appreciate if you didn’t mention it.” She growled.

“Touchy.” His subharmonics hummed. “I won’t say anything to Garrus, but you better hope he doesn’t mention you to Castis. I can do a lot for you, Shepard, but I can’t protect you from the wrath of Castis Vakarian.”

“I don’t think Garrus is going to tell his protocol-loving father that he’s illegally hunting bounty targets with me.” She rolled her eyes. “But thanks for your concern.”

Another small silence.

“You think he’s good looking?”

“What?”

“Garrus. Do you think he’s good looking?” Chellick asked, brow plate shifting as he spoke.

“What the hell does it matter if I do? Are you…jealous, Chellick?”

He snorted. “No. Just curious.”

His hand still rested on her stomach, his eyes still glued to her scar. She watched him for several seconds before she spoke.

“What is it, Chellick?”

“I can never believe this scar of yours.” He shrugged. “How _anyone_ could survive that…” His eyes finally moved to meet her gaze. “Be careful with Garrus.”

“Excuse me?”

“He’s not like Castis, but he’s not a bad kid either. He’s very idealistic. Just…you know…don’t beat it out of him.” He shrugged.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of his hands against her skin.

As they lay there in a comfortable silence in the back of the police cruiser, his hand began to slowly drift down her stomach until his thumb was between her legs; he rubbed it gently against her clit and her breath hitched.

“ _Chellick_.” She was surprised and annoyed. What was he doing?

Oh, but it felt so good, the pressure increasing as his thumb pressed in circles against her. She could feel the pleasure mounting, tensing up her entire body.

Her eyes snapped open. “ _Stop it._ ”

He withdrew his hand immediately and stared at her. “What’s wrong?”

“What were you doing?” she demanded.

“Uh, I thought that was pretty clear.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. There were only two possible explanations for his decision to pleasure her for no apparent reason: either he was hoping that a selfless orgasm would add another tally in the bucket of favors she owed him, or he was genuinely doing it just because he wanted her to feel good. Both explanations were not acceptable to her.

“What’s the catch?” She demanded. “You just rub one out for me because you want to?”

“What the hell, Shepard? Is that what this is about? Do you think I have some notebook in my office with a tally of all the sex you owe me? I know it’s been almost a year, but I’d like to think we know each other better than that. How many times did I have to keep an eye on you in a cell overnight while you puked your guts out because you’d had too much to drink? And if I didn’t do it, you’d have wound up in jail for public intoxication. Did I ever bring that up as something you owed me for?” His eyes flashed. “How about all of the times I wrote off Jack’s warrants in the system when I’d catch her out tracking bounty targets because I knew you were struggling to make ends meet and if I didn’t do it, she’d wind up in someone else’s precinct and you’d be forced to pay bail. Fuck you, Shepard. I deserve better than that from you.”

Well, now she felt like an enormous asshole.

The implication of Chellick wanting to pleasure her just because he could wasn’t one that sat well with her, but she would have to swallow that concern, and her pride. She’d known Chellick a long time, and he was right.

She sat up and leaned against the side door. “I’m sorry, Chellick. I…”

“It’s late.” He rubbed his brow plate. “I’d offer to drive you home, but I’m guessing you don’t want me to know what kind of hovel you’re living in.”

The thought of walking all the way home from the station was too unpleasant.

“You can’t tell Garrus where I live.” She demanded.

“Why would I?”

They dressed quietly and moved up to the front of the car. Shepard gave him the coordinates for her apartment, staring out the window as the cruiser glided out of the parking lot and onto the skyway.

How many other favors had Chellick done for her that she’d never even known about?

And better yet, how had she survived an entire year without his help?

* * *

 

**2178  
Huerta Memorial Hospital  
** **April 23** rd

An asari nurse stood tentatively in the doorway, glancing back into the hallway behind her occasionally. Shepard watched her in the reflection of her window, waiting for the asari to say something.

“Lieutenant Shepard?”

She turned to face the nurse. “I told you, just call me Shepard.”

“I’m sorry, Miss Shepard. Commander Vakarian is here to see you again. He has another officer with him.”

Shepard sighed. “Fine, let them in.”

Castis Vakarian had been back to see her three times since the first visit. He always came with an endless string of questions, some of them about the case, some of them about her progress. A month had passed since she’d sustained her injuries and even with the help of tissue regeneration machines, she was unable to meaningfully move herself; the pain was too severe.

At least the hellish wound stretching across her torso had mostly closed. It still puckered and twisted in places, still raw and red and inflamed, but at least her insides weren’t quite so exposed.

Castis entered the room with another turian at his side. He was shorter than the commander, decked out in the same dark blue armor, his clan markings running down his chin in three white stripes and along his mandibles in two. She stared at the two officers and said nothing.

Unable to move by herself, unable to clean herself or use the restroom for herself, Shepard was completely at the mercy of those around her, and completely without basic human privacy. A bag attached to the side of the bed collected her urine from a catheter extending from between her legs, and her bandages still had to be changed frequently enough that a changing almost always coincided with one of Castis’ visits. Since the first visit, when he’d had to take pictures, the commander had been incredibly polite and modest about the bandage changings, always averting his eyes from her naked body and talking into his chest until they were finished. She never had much of a choice in the matter and sending him out seemed pointless: it was just a mangled body; she wasn’t even sure it belonged to her anymore.

“Jane, this is detective Chellick Laratus,” Castis introduced the officer at his side. “He works at a station down in Bachjret ward. He was leading an investigation into a sex trafficking ring down there, but we have reason to believe the ring was directly tied to the operation you encountered on Elysium.”

She glanced fleetingly at Chellick. “Great.”

“Detective Laratus has been brought on to help with our investigation into the events that unfolded on Elysium,” Castis added.

“It’s, uh…nice to meet you,” Chellick said unsurely.

“We just have a few more questions. I know I’ve been bothering you quite a bit, lieutenant, but your testimony and evidence are crucial to this investigation.” Castis took a seat by the table across from her bed and Chellick sat down next to him.

“What do you need this time?” Shepard asked. She was starting to hate the commander’s visits a little less each time he came, mostly because she had no other visitors outside of the nurses and doctors moving in and out of her room at all hours.

“How are you doing, Jane?” Castis asked, that pitying look in his eyes.

“Well, the wound’s almost closed. That’s something. The doctor said I won’t be able to walk for a few months. They’re still rebuilding the abdominal muscle.”

Chellick’s mandibles flared in horror.

“Did you show him the pictures?” Shepard asked Castis.

“No, I hadn’t…”

“Well, show him. He should know.”

Castis sighed, but he brought up the pictures he’d taken during that first visit and held his arm out for Chellick to view the omni-tool screen.

If a turian could lose color in his face, Chellick would have. He stared at the images with wide eyes, looking back and forth between Shepard and the omni-tool.

“You… _survived_ that?”

“Unfortunately.” She turned to look out the window.

Castis cleared his throat. “Anyway, I just have a few questions and then Chellick will…” His comm link rang, interrupting his sentence. He cursed and stood up. “I’m sorry, I have to take this. I’ll be right back.”

He disappeared from the room leaving Shepard and Chellick alone in an awkward silence. She continued to stare out the window rather than face him and have to answer questions she had probably already answered for Castis.

“Do the, uh…do the doctors think you’ll pull through this all right?” He asked after a minute of silence.

“I’ll live. They had to remove four inches of my intestines, my stomach had to be sewn back together, a quarter of my liver had to be removed, but I’ll live.” She shook her head. It wasn’t this poor detective’s fault that she was dealing with so much trauma and it wasn’t fair to make him sit there and listen to it, but she didn’t care. Who else did she have to tell? She had no one left.

“You know what they told me today?” She asked, locking eyes with Chellick.

His mandibles flared again. “Uh…what?”

She looked back out the window. “The omni-blade hooked back up at the edge of my hip and tore into my uterus. They had to remove it entirely. I’ll never be able to have children of my own; that’s what the doctor said.”

Chellick coughed. “I’m…I’m sorry…”

She shrugged. “I’m only twenty-four. I’ve never even thought about children. I guess I probably never would have had any, so it doesn’t matter. Still.”

“You…uh…you seem pretty resilient,” Chellick offered. “Not many humans could survive a…well…”

“A gutting?” She finished the sentence for him. He nodded and seemed to relax a little. “You work Bachjret, huh? I’ve heard it’s the worst ward to work in.”

“It definitely has the highest violent crime rates.” Chellick shifted in his seat and she could see his bright green eyes trained on her from the reflection in the window. “It’s not as glamorous and high stakes as you would think, though. Most of the time it’s just pulling drunk idiots off of each other, or having your cruiser pissed on by some stupid teenagers.”

That made Shepard laugh, which hurt immensely. The laugh itself was so unexpected, that the sharp pain it sent across her abdomen hit her like a brick. She hunched over and gasped, clutching her stomach.

“Are you all right?” Chellick moved to the edge of his seat.

She struggled to push herself back against her pillows, tears of effort trickling from the corners of her eyes. She wiped them away and stared at the detective with a steely glare.

“I’m fine. Did you have questions for me or something?” She nodded to the datapad he held in his hands.

“Well, this is mostly Vakarian’s investigation,” Chellick said, clearly eager for something to talk about to avoid any lapses into more uncomfortable topics. “Like he said, I was just investigating a trafficking ring. We arrested a batarian who said he was operating under orders from Saren Arterius and Nihlus Kryik, obviously a pretty big charge to level against two Council Spectres. This was last month, around the same time….”

“Around the same time Nihlus Kryik tore me in half?” Shepard asked.

“Yes. You’re incredibly lucky you survived an encounter like that, considering…”

“Lucky?” She balked. “Does this look lucky to you? Did those pictures look _lucky_? The closest person I had to family is dead, I can’t even fucking pee on my own, I can’t eat anything until my wounds heal, I just sit in this hospital bed all day and all night while the nurses come and turn me over to keep me from getting bed sores. I’m not _lucky_. I’m just strong. That’s the only reason I’m still alive.”

“I want to help Castis bring Nihlus down,” Chellick said, breezing past her outburst. “He’s still under Council authority until we can collect enough evidence of his guilt. You were on Elysium investigating a trafficking ring, weren’t you…?”

“I was on Elysium doing a routine pickup for the Alliance.” She had already told this story to Castis what felt like a million times. “Instead we stumbled on Saren and Nihlus...”

Chellick leaned forward, listening eagerly, but before Shepard could continue, the door to the room opened and Castis returned. “I’m sorry about that. Hopefully you two are getting acquainted.”

Shepard’s nurses came in directly behind Castis.

“Oh, two visitors today. Is it okay for them to stay in the room, lieutenant?”

_Please stop calling me that._

“Yeah, I don’t care.”

She hated having her bandages changed, hated having to see what had become of her body, to say nothing of the pain it caused to be lifted and turned and have ointment and antibiotics spread all over her aching torso.

There was a little bar hanging over her bed that she held on to while they lifted her up, pulling her hospital gown off and unwrapping the dirty bandaging to expose her chest and abdomen. Castis looked down at his omni-tool and waited for the nurses to finish, but Chellick couldn’t help himself. Shepard understood; there was a morbid curiosity about how a body as soft as hers could survive such an attack, how it must look after a month of healing.

His eyes roved up and down the ugly, puckered scar, flickering for a fleeting moment on her breasts before he realized she was watching him. Their eyes locked and he promptly looked away.

“Next time, bring your whole squad, Castis. Then everyone can see my big ugly scar in person.” Shepard suggested.

The commander didn’t look up from his omni-tool. “My squad is predominantly turians, Jane. They don’t think scars are ugly, they think they’re a sign of strength. _You_ didn’t strike me as someone bothered with human ideals of beauty anyway.” Low blow or compliment? She wasn’t sure. “Your body will heal eventually. Patience is as important as strength sometimes.”

There was no questioning _why_ Castis Vakarian was a commander; he was annoyingly even-keeled and sensible. Every insult Shepard had slung at him, every nasty tone she’d taken, he’d shrugged them right off and treated her like she was just another turian, levelling her with advice amongst his questions for the investigation. It had the unfortunate side-effect of making her actually start to _like_ his company.

Chellick’s eyes kept straying back to the wound. Still scrolling through his omni-tool screen, Castis’ subharmonics rumbled.

“Chellick, it would be polite to stop staring.”

The detective looked away again and coughed. “Sorry, sir.”

“Jane is usually happy to talk while the bandages are changed. I have a feeling it distracts her from the pain. Why don’t you continue asking your questions, detective?” Castis suggested.

He was right about the pain; talking distracted her, and a distraction was a welcome reprieve.

Chellick brought up his datapad and began the conversation anew. “So you were on Elysium…”

* * *

  **2183  
****Bachjret Ward – District 42  
****April 8** th

Chellick pulled the cruiser onto the curb outside of the dilapidated tenement building Shepard called home. He gazed up at it, his subharmonics generating a low, buzzing sound.

“You _live_ in this, Shepard?”

“For now. It’s cheaper rent than district 30 where we were.” She shrugged.

“Of course it is, you’re in the fucking slums. _Spirits_. If you were anyone else I’d be worried for your safety, but between you and Jack, I’m sure the other tenants keep their distance.” He turned his gaze away from the window to look at her.

“I…I _am_ sorry, Chellick.” She said. “You’ve just changed in the last year, and it’s kind of taken me by surprise.”

He snorted. “I haven’t _changed_. All I did was get a promotion.”

She placed her hand against the side of his mandible and held his gaze. “It wasn’t an insult, Chellick. You’ve improved.” She felt his mandible twitch beneath her hand.

His eyes flicked to her lips and there was a tangible tension between them. She dropped her hand from his face and fell back against her seat, trying to avoid it.

“I’d, uh, invite you up, but I share a room with Jack.” She laughed.

“I’m sure your roommates would love it if a C-sec officer walked into their home.” Chellick said dryly. “You still living with that drell?”

“Thane? Yeah. He and Zaeed bring in the most bounties besides me. That reminds me. Zaeed had an active warrant in the system for…”

“I already took care of that.”

“Does Castis know the kind of shit you pull down here?” She asked him.

He laughed. “No. He’s not one to turn a blind eye to things. I’m good at keeping quiet though. I’ve certainly never told him about you. He has to know though. Your priors are all in our systems and it shows which stations have booked you, so at the very least he knows you’ve been in lockdown in my station before. He’s never asked me about it.”

“He probably doesn’t want to know the answer.”

“Probably not,” he agreed.

She sighed and looked at her hands resting in her lap. “I should go in. I’ve got to talk to Jack about fucking up that bounty, and count finances with Thane…” She rubbed her forehead.

“I’m sure I’ll be seeing more of you soon.”

“I’m sure you will.” She turned and pressed her lips delicately against his mandible. “Thanks, Chellick.”

He nodded and she climbed out of the cruiser, back up into her apartment, back into the unfortunate and frustrating reality of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the wonderful comments and kudos I received for the last chapter! I really am having a great time writing this. I'd like to try to stay on a regular schedule of posting once a week, so hopefully I can stick to that. Thanks so much for reading!


	5. Help from on High

**2183  
****Presidium – District 3**  
**April 12** th

It had been a few weeks since Garrus had been back up to the Presidium, and he’d forgotten how comfortable and clean it was in comparison to the wards. He was headed to a C-sec-wide meeting at the Citadel tower, but the gentle sound of the reservoir system water flowing through the cool, sunny Presidium had distracted him. He stopped to lean over a guard rail along a bridge and observe the sights when Chellick caught up with him.

“This isn’t the time to stop and smell the roses, Vakarian. Your dad will have _my_ ass if you’re late.” Chellick gripped Garrus’ shoulder and led him along the bridge toward the elevator to the Citadel tower.

The tower in question was the center piece of the Presidium, hundreds of stories high, spanning out into space and allowing a view of the entire Citadel from the top-most floor. It was the Council’s headquarters, but several of the floors were dedicated C-sec space, mostly offices for the highest-level employees; Garrus’ father’s office was located in the tower, as well as an auditorium where large meetings could be held.

“Where’s everyone else?” Garrus asked as he and Chellick stepped into the elevator.

“Already in the tower.” Chellick glanced at the time on his omni-tool, noticed a message, and then began scrolling through with a sigh. “No rest in Bachjret ward, Garrus.”

“What’s the news?”

“New info on that volus we were after. There’s a bounty on _his_ head now. And he’s apparently been spotted in our district. I’ve got a warrant to bring him in for questioning, but we’ve got this fucking meeting to sit through and…”

“I could tell Shepard,” Garrus suggested.

Chellick’s mandibles flicked. “Yeah, you could technically do that.” He looked around, but the elevator was empty except for them. “As your boss, I strictly advise against direct contact with a bounty hunter, but if somehow Shepard were to come across this information.” He shrugged. “Nothing I could do about it.”

Garrus brought up the bounty information on his omni-tool, wondering why his software hadn’t pinged him about it. He got his answer quickly enough: the volus was a known intermediary for a drugs supplier, but he had no kills on his record; the bounty requested that the volus’ dead body be delivered to a specific set of coordinates.

“Shepard won’t take this one,” Garrus said, closing out the information.

“You know that already, do you?”

“She told me she has a code. She won’t take kill bounties on people unless they’re rapists or murders. This guy is neither. I don’t think _I’m_ going to be the one to convince her to change her code of ethics.”

“Fucking code of ethics, that’s rich,” Chellick muttered. “I guess we’ll do it ourselves.”

The elevator opened onto the middle level of a large, round auditorium with dozens of rows of seats layered up the sides. Down at the center of the room there was a lectern with a display screen behind it. Garrus could already see his father standing behind the lectern, speaking to another officer, an asari, who stood near him.

Chellick led them along one of the rows of chairs to sit with some of the other officers from their station. Alenko and Williams were there, as well as two of the other turians who worked station 42, Tanis and Balarion.

Officer Lawson sat furthest down the row, arms folded against her chest and lips pursed. She took her job very seriously and rarely took the rest of the squad up on offers to go out for drinks, though occasionally she would join them, and maybe even crack a smile after a few drinks. According to Chellick and Alenko she was extremely attractive, by human standards. Garrus understood basic human sexual interests: large breasts, curved hips, hair styled a certain way; Officer Lawson certainly fit the criteria.

“I hate these meetings,” Williams complained. “It’s just the same crap the executor sends out in his reports. Meanwhile we can’t get the commander to answer any of our requests for actual functionality in the station. We need biotic dampers, we need interrogation seats big enough for krogan, we need generators for the cell doors…but at least we’ve got the stupid cruisers.”

“You should tell that to the commander, Williams,” Chellick suggested. “I’m sure she’d be happy to hear it.”

“I know you’re doing everything you can for us, captain. It’s just bullshit.”

“I don’t disagree, Williams.”

The auditorium filled slowly as C-sec officers from across the Citadel piled in to their seats. Of course, there were officers manning the stations back in their districts; it would have been quite the field day if every officer in the wards had all left at once.

As the room began to settle down, Garrus’ father stepped forward to speak.

“Thank you all for arriving in a timely manner. We have a few points to discuss regarding updates to protocol, as well as the Wards Initiative and its implementation so far. As I’m sure you’re all aware, sections four, six, ten, and twenty-three of the Citadel Security protocol guide have been updated…”

“Oh yeah, I read them word for word.” Chellick rolled his eyes and glanced at his omni-tool again. “This is such a waste of time. Not every bounty hunter in the wards has the same ethics as our Shepard. Someone is going to get to this volus before we get out of this meeting.”

“What volus?” Alenko asked.

“The one we got the warrant for because of the batarian that was left on our doorstep. The supplier has a bounty out on him now. It’s just a clusterfuck of a situation. He’s been spotted in our district. Joral’s looking for coordinates right now.” Chellick explained.

Garrus knew it was a bad idea to bring up his omni-tool and message Shepard in the middle of an important meeting, but with Chellick’s discussion, it seemed like the best idea. He had no clue _why_ he was doing it, as though Shepard would just help them out of the goodness of her heart.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-C_Tower][2183.04.12][7:12]: Shepard, got a hit on that volus. Doesn’t meet your code but Chellick’s eager to get info._

He sat tapping his foot impatiently while he waited for a response. Chellick was still chatting with Williams and Alenko, not paying any attention to the executor’s speech, not that Garrus was either.

**_Ping._ **

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.12][7:19]: Whdt fucking tinr is it?_

His omni-tool’s translator couldn’t make sense of her message.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-C_Tower][2183.04.12][7:19]: What?_

Several minutes lapsed before she replied.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.12][7:29]: It’s seven in the morning what makes you think that’s an acceptable time to message someone?_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-C_Tower][2183.04.12][7:29]: Normal people are awake at these hours Shepard._

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.12][7:30]: Has anything about me ever struck you as normal Vakarian?_

Garrus laughed at that, and quickly stifled the laughter to avoid drawing attention to himself. He was surprised when his omni-tool pinged again before he could begin formulating a reply.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.12][7:30]: Chellick can message me if he wants me to run errands for him._

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-C_Tower][2183.04.12][7:31]: Strictly speaking he didn’t tell me to ask you for help._

“What are you doing over there, Garrus?” Chellick asked.

Garrus hastily closed out his omni-tool. “Nothing.”

Chellick narrowed his eyes. “Didn’t seem like nothing.”

“Captain Laratus, perhaps you could shed some light on the situation in the wards?” Castis Vakarian’s voice broke through.

All eyes in the room were now trained on Chellick and Garrus. The captain’s mandibles flared with embarrassment and he cleared his throat.

“You’re probably better suited for that, executor.”

“I’m glad we agree,” Castis said, mandibles pinching tight against his face.

Only Garrus caught the imperceptible look of disappoint his father shot him before he resumed his speech. He felt like a scolded child, and when his omni-tool pinged signaling a new message, he didn’t check it again. Whatever Shepard had to say, he doubted she was going to help them catch the volus without the promise of money.

The meeting lasted a painstaking hour, most of the information more critical for commanders than lower-level captains and officers. As soon as the executor had finished talking and dismissed the room, he disappeared through a door at the bottom of the auditorium. Garrus was relieved he hadn’t wanted to talk to him.

“We’re moving,” Chellick growled. “We need to get down to the station and gear up. I’ve got coordinates on the volus, which means the bounty hunters will have them too.”

A ground assignment certainly beat the hell out of filing paperwork, or helping with security duty on the rougher streets. Garrus and the other officers took the rapid transit system back to their station, but it was a long ride, even on one of the efficient shuttles.

Chellick checked his omni-tool repeatedly on the ride back, cursing and then closing it out again. The action reminded Garrus that he had an unread message from Shepard, so he brought it up while there was time to kill.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.04.12][7:32]:See you soon Vakarian._

What could that mean? Had she decided to go for the volus after all? Would she be at the station when they returned. Working with her seemed to be a constant unknown, which would have been frustrating if he hadn’t already seen what she was capable of. Irritation was worth results.

Chellick barely waited for the moving shuttle to stop before he leaped out the door and ran into the station. There was no sign of Shepard, or the volus. Garrus continued to wonder what her message might mean as he secured his armor and weapons in the locker room and followed Chellick, Williams, and Alenko out the door to the garage. The other officers were relegated to stay behind with the station and be ready to go if they needed backup.

“I have to ask, captain, why so much fuss over one volus?” Williams asked.

“Because the commander’s going to be running audits soon and this guy has connections to one of the biggest suppliers in the district: a supplier we have almost zero intel on. We could use this kind of win. Alenko, you and Vakarian take the other cruiser. Williams and I will lead the way.”

Chellick and Williams climbed into the first parked cruiser and took off; Garrus and Alenko were quick to follow.

“I wonder what kind of heat we’re looking at with this guy,” Alenko said as he programmed the coordinates Chellick had sent into the cruiser.

“Direct connection to a huge supplier?” Garrus shrugged. “He’ll probably have krogan, at least. We should expect heavy fire when we get there. And possibly a run-in with the more aggressive bounty hunters.”

Alenko laughed. “You almost sound like an actual wards cop, Garrus.”

“Thanks. I think.”

“It’s a compliment. Maybe you’re learning a thing or two here.”

Garrus reflected that he’d learned more in the past few months in Bachjret than he’d learned during his entire time on the Presidium.

“The volus is in a warehouse on the twelve-hundred block.” Chellick’s voice sounded over the comm radio. “We’re getting close. Heat signatures are showing multiple bodies in the building, so be ready to take some heavy fire. If your shields cut out, find cover. I don’t want any of you dying on my watch.”

Chellick really _could_ be a good captain when he put his mind to it.

The cruisers pulled to a halt a block away from the warehouse in question, an unassuming building with a few smashed-out windows that otherwise seemed to be in better shape than most of the structures around it. Chellick and Williams hopped out of their cruiser and Garrus and Alenko followed suit, moving toward the side of the warehouse on Chellick’s mark.

Garrus raised his gun and readied himself for heavy resistance. He’d only really been on one serious ground mission since he’d transferred down to the wards, and it had been the arrest of the bank robbers a few weeks prior. His heart was pounding in his ears and he reminded himself to keep a steady arm.

_“Do something right or don’t do it at all, Garrus.”_

_Thanks, dad._

A dead krogan awaited them at the side entrance to the warehouse, lying face down in a pool of his own blood. Chellick considered this probable cause, and a good enough reason to kick down the door to the warehouse without a warrant. He slammed the full force of his foot against the door and stormed in.

“Citadel Security, everyone get down on the ground!” Chellick shouted.

Garrus turned into the doorway with his assault rifle raised to find Chellick in a three-way standoff. The first group with their guns pointed at the captain consisted of two large krogan and a human; the second group consisted of a drell, an asari, a krogan, and behind them a stocky little volus trembling in his enivro-suit.

“We’re here for the volus, officer, so if you just turn around and pretend you never saw us, this can end with a little less bloodshed.” The human spoke. He was clearly the leader of the little group, the brains of the operation so to speak, face marred by pock-marks and a broken nose.

“I don’t negotiate with bounty hunters,” Chellick growled. That was a laugh, but Garrus got the feeling Shepard was an exception to the rule. “You need to lower your guns and walk out of here.”

“If _either_ of you think you’re leaving this warehouse alive, you’ve got another thing coming,” the asari barked. She had pale blue skin, a scar running across her left cheek, and she wore the sturdy, expensive armor of a commando. If the volus could afford a commando as part of his personal guard, he was definitely their guy.

“Captain, what are your orders?” Alenko asked from behind them.

Chellick’s eyes darted between the bounty hunters and the volus’ bodyguards; Garrus could see he was trying to formulate a plan. One wrong move from any of them and the warehouse was likely to erupt into an explosion of gunfire, and then it was a matter of finding cover and hoping their shields didn’t give out.

Garrus kept his gun trained on the asari commando, gauging her as the most dangerous person in the room; the combination of excellent combat skills and powerful biotics wasn’t one to trifle with. Gun in place, he glanced quickly around the warehouse for any signs of cover, or something that could give them the upper hand.

Cover was in no short supply, at least; steel storage crates were stacked around the dusty warehouse, their contents long forgotten. On the ceiling, a rusted iron hook was connected to a sliding track, probably used to move heavy cargo when the warehouse had been operational. Now it lay directly outside the windows of a room on the second floor, the windows so clouded with dust that it was impossible to determine what lay inside. The room was otherwise empty.

“You all need to lower your weapons before I shoot you,” the asari commando spoke again. “Do I look like I’m _fucking_ around? You know how many cops I’ve killed? You four would be just another notch on my belt. Don’t fucking test…” All at once a fountain of purple blood sprayed from her throat, her words stopping in a gurgle as she dropped to the floor.

Garrus looked around wildly for the source of the bullet that had ended the asari’s life and found the answer quickly enough. A familiar redhead came bursting through the glass of the second-floor room, grabbing on to the iron hook and sliding along the ceiling track until she was directly overhead. She dropped down on top of one of the krogan with the full force of her weight and then rammed her omni-blade into its neck.

As soon as she landed, chaos reigned. The remaining two bounty hunters began to fire at anyone who wasn’t part of their group, the volus’ bodyguards tried to rush him to the door, and Chellick let loose a hail of bullets directed at the remaining krogan. Alenko, thinking quickly, grabbed the volus and his drell bodyguard in a mass effect field and slammed them into the wall, rushing out of the way of the gunfire to ensure that, if nothing else, they got what they had come for.

To make matters more complicated, another drell, a krogan, and an additional human came charging down the stairs from the second floor, into the fray. Garrus didn’t know who the hell they were, but considering where they had come from, he was inclined to believe they were part of Shepard’s brood.

He fired on the volus’ krogan as it charged toward Chellick, this distracted him enough to turn his attention to Garrus instead, but before he could reach him, Shepard’s krogan slammed into him and they tumbled to the floor, pounding against each other with their foreheads.

Shepard was moving like a maniac. After single-handedly taking down the krogan she’d landed on, she’d gone after the human, chasing him the length of the room and launching herself onto his back. She tore at his face with her bare hands, clawing her way up to his eyes and digging her fingers into the sockets until he let out an ungodly wail and fell backwards, trapping her beneath him. It didn’t take her long to kick him off of her and fire off one clean shot into his head.

Williams and Chellick wrestled the remaining krogan bounty hunter to the ground and managed to get cuffs on him. This left only Chellick and his squad, and Shepard and hers.

Chellick and Shepard stood in the center of the room a few feet apart from each other in a tense standoff. Shepard was covered in blood and breathing heavily. The other human stood behind her. Garrus had seen him using biotic powers during the fight, and he wore the nicest armor of any of her bizarre little squad.

Williams trained her gun on Shepard’s krogan unsurely while Shepard’s drell had his rifle pointed at Alenko.

“Somebody’s got to go to jail, Shepard,” Chellick huffed, wiping some of his own blood from his neck where a bullet had grazed him.

“I came for the asari,” Shepard said. “You got the volus. There’s no reason.”

“Come on, Chellick. Make this easy on us,” Shepard’s krogan said.

“You know these people, captain?” Williams’ voice was laced with skepticism.

“Jacob, now!” Shepard shouted.

The man behind her hit Williams square in the back with a biotic kick and ran for the asari’s body. The krogan helped him hoist it up and both them rushed for the back door. The drell had started to run as well, but Alenko caught him in a stasis field before he could get very far.

Garrus was too caught up in what was happening, had barely moved, when he realized Shepard had taken off in the opposite direction and Chellick was running after her. Garrus crossed the room to assist Williams, wondering why Chellick even bothered if he was just going to release Shepard later.

“Are you all right?” He asked, stooping down next to Williams and offering his hand.

She let him help her up. “Nothing I won’t live through, but it was a pretty powerful kick. You know anything about these weirdos?”

“A lot of priors,” Garrus shrugged. “Run-ins with Chellick at his old station.”

“Career criminals,” Ash laughed and shook her head.

“They’re bounty hunters.”

“What’s the difference?”

Across the room, Chellick had managed to pin Shepard down and was struggling to get cuffs on her.

“If you’d hold still, this would all go a lot faster,” he growled.

Shepard clawed at him and tried to wriggle free; Garrus couldn’t help but wonder if it was all just a game to her, like some kind of twisted foreplay. Chellick grabbed her throat with one hand and that got her attention, calming her down enough for him to flip her onto her stomach and cuff her hands behind her back.

He forced her up and pushed her along to sit next to her drell friend against the wall.

“Fuck me, it’s too early for this.” He said, slumping against the wall and leaning on his knees.

“What are our orders, captain?” Alenko asked. “We have five detainees to bring in and several dead bodies.”

“I’ve got to call in forensics and file some reports,” Chellick sighed. “Alenko, Williams, you take the krogan, and the volus and his drell. Vakarian, you take Shepard and the other drell. Just put them in cells until I can get back to the station and deal with it.”

“Yes, sir.”

Williams and Alenko dutifully began marching their prisoners out to the police cruisers. Garrus retrieved the keys to the second cruiser from Chellick.

“Sir, should I…uh…” He glanced at Shepard unsurely. “What do you want me to do?”

“Take them in and book them. Obstructing a C-sec investigation, firing at an officer. I’ll deal with the charges in the system later.” Chellick shrugged.

“Excuse the insubordination, captain, but why even bother?”

Chellick stared at Garrus. “Because, Vakarian. If the whole station knows I’m just writing off Shepard’s mistakes and letting her go free, then I get investigated and lose my job. Not everyone in the station is willing to bend the rules. We maintain protocol and the charges get dropped when I log a fake bail in the system. It’s all much safer that way.”

“ _Chellick!”_ Shepard barked.

He spun around. “What?”

“You better be telling Vakarian to let me go, you fucking…”

“Spirits, just take her away please, Garrus. At this rate, I’m going to be out here until the night cycle.” Chellick rubbed his brow plates and walked away to phone in the arrest to headquarters.

Left with the responsibility of booking Shepard and her drell, Garrus walked over to them and forced them to their feet, prodding them along and out to the police cruiser. When he opend the back door and forced the drell in, Shepard tried to make a run for it, but he caught her around the waist and threw her in back with her friend. He secured the barrier between the front and the back of the cruiser as he sidled into the driver’s seat.

“All right, Shepard, what’s your friend’s name?”

“He has the right to remain silent,” Shepard replied.

“That’s fine, I’ll just run his picture in the system. I’m sure if he’s anything like you, he’ll have priors I can connect him to.” Garrus shrugged.

“My name is Thane Krios,” the drell answered quickly enough.

The only prior he had in the system was breaking and entering and it was a ten-year-old charge for which he had paid bail; not exactly what Garrus had been expecting.

“What’s a guy like this doing with you, Shepard? He’s got nothing in here.”

Shepard pressed her face against the barrier. “That means he’s good at his job, Garrus.”

“Ah, this is the young Vakarian.” Thane nodded knowingly.

“Are you telling your friends about me, Shepard?” Garrus turned around to face them.

“I’m only telling them to keep your ass out of the line of their fire.”

“He does resemble the executor,” Thane said.

“So what did you want with the asari?” Garrus asked. “Because I _know_ you wouldn’t just use that as a cover to help us out. I might not have known you very long, but I can at least guess you aren’t _that_ selfless.”

“Good guess. I’m not. The asari had a bounty herself, and she’s killed plenty. It wasn’t half as good as the volus, but my rules are pretty hard and fast, and Thane’s got similar rules. We found out the asari was working with the volus and it made sense to go after her. You’re welcome, by the way. If we hadn’t shown up, you all would have been dead.”

Garrus couldn’t exactly argue that point. He and all the other officers had escaped relatively unscathed; that never would have happened without the chaos Shepard had created for them.

“You’re right. Thanks.”

Shepard gave him a skeptical look and leaned back in her seat.

“What’s the matter?” Garrus asked. “Not used to people being sincere with you?” He started up the cruiser and plugged in the station coordinates.

“I assume Chellick will take care of all of this when he returns to the station?” Thane asked Shepard.

“Yeah, he’ll handle it.”

“How did you get by for a year with someone else manning your district?” Garrus asked, genuinely curious. Shepard and her crew had already had so many run-ins with C-sec in the past few weeks, that he couldn’t fathom how they operated functionally without spending all their money on bail.

“The problem is two-fold,” Shepard explained. “Now that we know we have Chellick to lean on, we might be…slipping up a bit more than usual. We’ll kick ourselves into gear eventually. Chellick does have _actual_ police work to do. But the other problem is that there weren’t nearly as many officers manning this district until a few months ago. Your little boost in activity is costing us bounties and causing us to have way more run-ins with cops than we used to.”

The explanation actually made sense, but Garrus was still skeptical of Shepard’s relationship with Chellick. In his mind, such a circumstance couldn’t exist without someone being taken advantage of; the problem was that Shepard was definitely not the type of person he could imagine letting anyone _use_ her. And Chellick always seemed more exasperated with her antics than anything else. If Garrus didn’t know better, he would have thought that maybe, just maybe, the captain and Shepard were _friends_.

He supposed crazier things had happened.

“I’m getting blood all over the back seat of this cruiser,” Shepard pointed out. “Actually, I think I might be bleeding.”

“You are, siha. From your eyebrow. Just a minor wound.” Thane nodded.

“Not bad for taking down a krogan. You like my little display?”

“You certainly know how to handle yourself in a fight,” Garrus responded.

“You’re all right, Garrus.” She said. It felt oddly like a badge of honor. Sure, Shepard was a criminal and a bounty hunter and quite possible fucking crazy, but she was also one of the most skilled combatants he’d ever seen. Besides that, her constant barrage of hostility meant that a compliment from her really carried some weight.

When they arrived back at the station, he escorted the two detainees into the lobby and down into the cells below the station. The krogan, the volus, and the other drell were already locked away in separate cells, thick glass doors allowing a view of what they were up to. The krogan kept pounding his head against the door, but the other two were simply laying on their cots. Garrus placed Shepard and Thane into adjacent cells and locked them in until Chellick could deal with it.

“Hey. I don’t suppose they have any decent levo food in here, do they? Or at least some water? Also do you think there’s any way I could hose off?” Shepard spouted her questions in rapid-fire fashion.

“This isn’t a hotel, Shepard.” He reminded her. “You’ll have to wait until Chellick gets back. I can send in a medic to look at your wounds.”

“It’s a scrape on my forehead. I don’t need a medic.” She rolled her eyes.

“So then take a nap on your cot until Chellick gets here. I have to go file your arrest paperwork. So thanks for that.”

“Don’t forget I saved your ass!”

He left her down in the cells and made his way back up to the office room located off of the lobby. Alenko and Williams were already inside, seated at their terminals, but not getting any paperwork done.

“Hey, Garrus. You brought in that crazy redhead?” Williams asked.

“Yeah, her and the other drell.”

“I hate to admit it, but it kind of feels wrong to lock them up, doesn’t it?” Alenko asked. “If they hadn’t shown up, we might have been seriously injured…or worse. I know that protocol is important, but it just seems like…maybe it’s okay to let it slide since they helped us.”

Williams shook her head. “Protocol exists for a reason, Alenko. They might not have had any clue they were helping us. They were just there for their own reasons and they interfered with our investigation. You can’t bend the law whenever it suits you.”

If only they knew about Chellick.

_And you, Garrus._

“Well, the captain made the right call, I guess.” Garrus shrugged. “They’re in lockdown unless someone pays their bail. I’m just annoyed we brought them in because I have to file all this paperwork now.”

“Tell me about it. It’s like, ground runs are great and way more fun that sitting around here all day, but then all the forms that have to be filled out afterward are a nightmare.” Williams shook her head and turned around to face her terminal. “I feel bad for the captain. He’s going to be stuck going over forensics all day.”

Garrus spent the rest of the day filing the arrests and then writing up a report of the events for the records. Periodically, when he grew bored with the paperwork, he would check his software for any new hits on bounties, but not much worth pursuing had turned up. He couldn’t help but think that Shepard might not have shown up to the warehouse at all if he hadn’t first alerted her to the volus; it seemed she had only heard of the asari _because_ of the volus.

Chellick showed up back to the station around seventeen-hundred hours looking tired and miserable. He dropped in just long enough to thank the squad for their work before disappearing into his office and shutting the door.

It was time to leave around an hour later, but Garrus thought a little debrief with the captain was in order. He wanted to ask what had happened at the warehouse, and what he could do to help with interrogation of the volus for information on his supplier.

He removed his armor in the locker room first and changed into his street clothes, then made his way down to the end of the long hallway jutting off of the lobby, where Chellick’s office was located.

When he walked in, he was prepared for the captain to be too tired or irritated to talk, but what he saw instead made him freeze in the doorway.

Chellick was having sex with Shepard on his desk, leaning over her with his face pressed into her neck while she clutched at his back. For a second, Garrus was frozen to the spot, too mortified to move or do anything. Chellick looked up and cursed.

“Garrus! Get out and close the fucking door!” he hissed.

Garrus wasted no time in complying. As the door slid shut, he heard Shepard say,

“I thought you locked it.”

Hurrying for the lobby in an effort to put himself as far away from what he’d just witnessed as possible, he made a mental note to _always_ knock before entering Chellick’s office in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating a little early because of the upcoming holiday and because I've written ahead a decent amount now. Thanks so so much for all the wonderful comments! I really appreciate it. And just thanks for reading! More soon!


	6. A Crack in the Armor

**2183**  
**Bachjret Ward – District 40  
****May 5** th

Barely a month into Shepard’s arrangement with Garrus and he was already breaking his rule against becoming directly involved in the actual hunt.

He’d messaged her the day before about a bounty on a salarian thief who’d been siphoning money from the quasar machines around the ward. The only problem was that there were going to be about twenty other bounty hunters looking for this thief, considering the bounty on his head was a whopping twenty-thousand credits; it had been offered up by the owner of one of the casinos, who had already lost millions because of his antics.

Garrus had a simple solution to the problem: plan to meet with the salarian in a public location expressing interest in the formula he used to siphon the credits from the machines; while Shepard kept him talking, Garrus would be hidden away, ready to hit him with a small but effective tranquilizing bullet. In the meantime, Tali would jam extranet channels with false flags to keep the other bounty hunters off their trail.

All in all, Shepard had to admit it was a pretty good plan, considering a C-sec agent had formulated it.

Tali had sent out a probe requesting a meeting with the salarian: public setting, no weapons, just a discussion.

Simple enough.

He’d agreed to meet them in a small park in district 40. Park was a strong word for a patch of astroturf, a swingset, and a bench, but it was a good location: busy, but not busy enough that they couldn’t get away with carrying an unconscious salarian out relatively unnoticed.

Shepard and Garrus arrived to the park early so that Garrus could set himself up on a rooftop across the street. Shepard kept him on her comm link with an earpiece to keep the conversation private.

“You sure you want to do this, Vakarian? I thought this was supposed to be a strictly hands-off deal for you.” Shepard said as she scanned the area for any hazards.

The sidewalks were crowded and a few kids played around the swing set; nothing hazardous from the ground at least. She took a seat on the bench facing the park and waited.

“I stole a police cruiser our first night out, Shepard. I think ‘hands-off’ flew out the window a while ago.”

“See anything worth noting up there?” She asked.

“Hard to say.” He answered after a moment’s pause. “Most people in this ward are carrying weapons, that doesn’t automatically qualify them as a bounty hunter. I wouldn’t be surprised if the salarian has reinforcements in case something goes south. I can hit them from here, but I only have four tranquilizer bullets and if we’re looking at a krogan, it’s going to take two just to take one of them down. You’ve got a shield generator, right?”

“Do I look like I was born yesterday? Of course I have a shield generator.” He didn’t need to know about the incident with the krogan and the shotgun.

“Hm, touchy.” There was an almost playful tone to his voice.

“Any sign of the salarian?”

“We still have ten minutes until rendezvous. Patience isn’t your strong suit is it?”

_Anyone ever tell you that you sound just like your dad?_

She crossed her arms and continued to scan the park, silence on the other end of the comm link. Five minutes passed, but they felt like twenty. This would be a simple bounty with an enormous payoff if it worked, and it was really all thanks to Garrus.

“Salarian on your ten, Shepard. Dark blue skin. My visor’s not reading any weapons signatures, but be careful.”

“All right, Vakarian, I’ve handled worse than a salarian thief.”

She spotted the salarian in question approaching from the left side of the park. He looked around unsurely, hesitated, then eventually walked over to the bench and sat down next to her.

“You the contact?” he asked, his orb-like eyes darting around as he spoke.

Shepard stared directly ahead at the swing-set as she replied. “Yeah. I’m interested in the software. What’s your going rate?”

“It’s not for sale, per se,” the salarian said. “And I wouldn’t give it to just anyone. I need to know a little more. Where do you want it used, what do you think the payout will be, and how soon would you want it implemented? I already have interested partners on Kithoi and Zakera, and Bachjret is my own territory.”

“So I find you a spot and you give me a cut of the funneled money?” Shepard asked.

“I have a clear shot, Shepard. Lining it up…” Garrus’ voice sounded in her ear.

“Exactly. My software is too valuable to sell, but I don’t have time to scope out every casino on the Citadel to figure out where it would go undetected.” His eyes darted to the right and then his whole body tensed up.

 _Shit._ What was it?

Shepard followed his gaze and noticed the asari and turian standing on the other side of the park. She had no clue who they were, but it was a safe bet that they were bounty hunters. Before she could move or say anything else, the salarian had a grip on her, a plain steel hunting knife pressed against her throat.

“Tell your friends to back off!” He growled. “I don’t appreciate setups.”

“What the hell is going on!?” Garrus yelled in her ear. “Shit, I can’t get a good shot without hitting you.”

“The bounty hunters…” Shepard clawed at the salarian’s arm in an effort to pull his knife away from her throat, more than aware than one wrong move could send the blade slicing into her.

“I see them,” Garrus called. “Hold on, Shepard.”

“Yeah, cause otherwise I would have run…”

“You shut up!” The salarian yelled. The bounty hunters were moving in closer, drawing up their weapons.

The pain was sudden an instantaneous. The salarian sank his knife into Shepard’s side and yanked it back out, throwing her to the ground and scrambling to get away. The asari and the turian took off after him, three shots fired from above, and Shepard rolled off of the bench clutching her side.

She hadn’t been stabbed in a while and she forgot how much it _fucking hurt._ The side of her shirt was soaked with blood, and she had left her omni-tool with Garrus, only carrying a knife strapped to her leg for protection; small enough knives bypassed weapons-scanning tools, something the salarian had obviously also considered.

“I’m coming, Shepard!” Garrus’ voice sounded in her earpiece.

She gritted her teeth and pressed her hands as hard as she could against the wound to stem the blood flow. Fucking agony. There was no question that the wound wasn’t lethal, the knife hadn’t been long enough, besides that there was no way in hell she was letting herself die from a wound that small when she had survived the gutting Nihlus had given her.

Garrus was at her side a moment later, lifting up her shirt to view the wound. His mandibles flared in surprise, but not at the extent of the injury; he’d noticed her scar. Whatever he thought of it, he didn’t let her know. As soon as his eyes had flitted along the scar they were back at her side, examining the stab wound.

“I’m going to apply some medi-gel, but we need to take you to a hospital,” he told her as he applied the cool, soothing gel to the wound. It stemmed the bleeding, for the moment.

“Go get the salarian. I’m fine,” Shepard barked. She was definitely not fine.

 “Shepard, you need medical attention.”

She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled herself up to press her face into his. The effort sent a shot of pain through her wound. “If you don’t get that fucking salarian I lose a twenty-thousand credit bounty. I didn’t get stabbed to lose a twenty-thousand credit bounty, Garrus.”

Letting go of him, she fell back to the ground with a groan. Garrus leaped to his feet and ran for the salarian, who lay unconscious a few feet away. The park had, quite understandably, all but emptied by that point, with a few passersby staring as they steered clear on the sidewalk.

When Garrus returned, the salarian was slung over his shoulder. “Okay, I’ve got the salarian. Can we take you to the hospital now?”

“No hospitals. I know a guy back in our district. He’ll patch me up.”

“You _know a guy?_ ‘Knowing a guy’ is for gun repairs or cheap drugs. Not medical care.”

“He’s a doctor. Look either you can take me to him or you can make me walk all the way there with this _stab wound_.” She hissed.

“Fine, we’ll do it your way. We always seem to.” He knelt down and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her against his free shoulder and lifting her up like a child.

She grabbed onto his neck and hooked her legs around his hips to help him keep his grip on her. There was no time for modesty and no possible way she would be able to walk all the way to the clinic where her friend operated. She might make it a few blocks in her condition, but the medi-gel would only last so long, and it did nothing for the pain at the deeper edge of the wound.

As Garrus carried her and the salarian back toward district 42, Shepard was acutely aware of his hand gripping into her ass to keep a hold on her, and the smell of his cologne on his neck, cool and saline like an ocean breeze.

 _Don’t think about it, Shepard. Bad idea._ Bad. Idea.

Still, thinking about his talons digging into her was a hell of a lot better than thinking about the throbbing pain in her side.

“Shepard, can I ask you something?” His voice rumbled against her from his chest as he spoke.

“Depends on what it is.”

“That scar on your torso…” He hesitated.

“I’d rather not talk about that.” She tried to sound gentle as she said it. She’d made it more than clear to him over the past month that she didn’t want to talk about her past, but having seen the remnants of the worst moment of her life drawn out across her abdomen, it was only natural that he would ask about it.

“I understand.” He didn’t press the issue. “What should we do with this salarian?”

“Bring him to the clinic. The doctor will keep him incapacitated until I’m patched up. The clinic is just two blocks from the station. You take a left on Coralis and then a right on Nerin.”

“You’re sure you wouldn’t rather go to a hospital?” Garrus asked.

“I hate hospitals, and the ones down in this ward are a joke. I trust Dr. Solus with my life, all right? He’ll take care of it.”

“I hope this bounty was worth it, Shepard.”

“Twenty-thousand credits is worth a stab wound, definitely.” She was sliding down his front as his grip loosened, so he thrust her back up with his hip, gripping her bottom more firmly.

_God dammit._

He was so warm; all turians _were_ but it wasn’t helping the thoughts racing through her head.

_Not Castis Vakarian’s son. Not Castis Vakarian’s son. Not Castis Vakarian’s son._

Anyway, wasn’t he too naïve? Too young and idealistic to deal with. Yeah, Garrus Vakarian might have been naïve about a lot of things, but she had a very strong feeling sex wasn’t one of them.

She’d found him attractive from the start, but it wasn’t until that moment that she was really critically aware of just _how_ attractive he was; the smell of him, the warmth of him, his hand digging into her bottom. God, if he wasn’t Castis’ son…if they didn’t have this ‘professional’ relationship going on…

“Hey, uh…thanks for all of this.” She said, desperate to say anything to stop thinking about it. “This bounty setup, using the tranquilizer bullets, carrying me to the clinic. But also just this whole arrangement. I know I tried to, uh, kill you when you approached me about it, but it’s really helped me out. We were struggling to get bounties without C-sec interference before you came along. The credits have gone a long way getting us back on even footing.”

“Is that you being genuinely nice?” Garrus laughed. His whole chest vibrated when he spoke, which definitely didn’t help the dirty thoughts Shepard was trying to flush from her mind.

“Hey, I told you, sometimes I can be nice. Only sometimes though.”

“You know, we haven’t had a run-in with any of your friends in almost a week now. That might be a new record. I think Chellick might be starting to miss you.”

“I’m sure he’s enjoying the peace and quiet.” She didn’t want to talk about Chellick either.

“Or as peaceful as it can be down here.”

She looked sideways at him, examining his profile, the curve of his neck.

If only he wasn’t Castis’ son, if only, if only, if only…

“Is this it?”

He set her down and she slid along his chest before she landed on her feet. She turned around to the familiar sight of Dr. Mordin Solus’ clinic. Strictly speaking, Dr. Solus was a convicted killer, but they had all been people who deserved it, which made him okay in Shepard’s book. He was her go to when she or her roommates sustained any major injuries on a run; he never charged them much and his work was always clean.

Garrus stared at the clinic with a look of skepticism. She couldn’t blame him, it was as rundown as the other buildings in the wards, unmarked, with no indication that it was anything but a crumbling little hovel. She beckoned him to follow her inside.

The front lobby of Mordin’s sad little clinic was manned by a squat volus, who sat behind a terminal in front of a locked door, tip-tapping away on his keyboard. He looked up at Shepard and Garrus when they entered and then turned back to his keyboard.

“Been a while, earth-clan.” His suit let out a rush of noise as he took a breath. “What is it this time?”

“Got stabbed out on a run, Calen.” Shepard shrugged. “Could you just open the door?”

“Fine. What about Palaven-clan here?”

“He’s with me, just let him through.”

The little volus tapped something on his keyboard and the door behind him came unlocked, sliding open to reveal the clinic within.

It was really little more than a sterile room with two cots in it, mostly filled with shelves of medical books and supplies. Inside, a salarian with aging orange skin and a half-destroyed right horn was hunched over a table sorting out medical supplies. He looked up with concern at the noise from the door, but when he saw Shepard, the concern quickly morphed into a smile.

“Shepard. Good to see you. Been a while. Three, four months?” His eyes flicked to the blood on her shirt. “Stab wound?” He turned his attention to Garrus and the salarian thrown over his shoulder. “Turian…no obvious wounds sustained…wouldn’t still be walking if he had injured Shepard.” His eyes were back on Shepard then. “The salarian stabbed you?”

“Yeah,” Shepard sat down on one of the cots and lifted her shirt over her head to expose the wound. She watched Garrus for a moment, to see if he was looking at her scar again; he was.

Mordin bent down beside Shepard and examined the injury. “Good thing you came to see me.” He told her. “Needs to be patched up. Simple treatment. Will sew it up with dissolvable stitches. No heavy exertion for a week.” He glanced fleetingly at Garrus. “Includes sexual activity.”

Shepard felt blood flush to her cheeks. Garrus’ mandibles flared and he turned to stare with sudden interest at the books lining a shelf on the wall adjacent to him. Shepard might have passed off the comment with a crude joke if she hadn’t spent the entire trip to the clinic thinking about Garrus Vakarian’s hands on her ass.

“Oh, he’s not…” Shepard cleared her throat. “That’s just uh…just a thing with Chellick.”

“Not my business,” Mordin shrugged. “Just letting you know.”

He gathered up a box of supplies from his table and guided a stool over to the cot where Shepard lay. He removed the layer of medi-gel holding her wound together, which brought a fresh wave of pain to the surface. Shepard gritted her teeth and tried to think of something to distract herself from the pain, but the only thing coming to mind was Garrus.

Not helpful.

“Local anesthetic.” Mordin said, injecting a needle into three points around the wound. It didn’t feel good, but after a moment, the pain of the injury subsided into numbness.

“How long have you been running this clinic?” Garrus asked.

“Ten years. No, eleven. Good use of my skills. Criminals don’t like to go to hospitals. Still need medical care.”

“Good reason I guess.”

“What will be done with the salarian?” Mordin asked. “Bounty, or…?”

“Yeah, he’s worth a good chunk of change.” Shepard said. She couldn’t even feel the pinch of Mordin’s hands against her skin as he drew a needle and stitching thread through it to sew up the hole in her side.

“Hope it was worth it.”

The doctor’s hands moved quickly and efficiently, sewing her skin back together and cutting the thread when he reached the end. Before he let her go, he spread some antibiotic cream over the stitches and covered it all with a large adhesive bandage. Shepard pulled her blood-stained shirt back over her head and stood up.

“Will be numb for a while. Need to walk slowly. Recommend going home and resting for today.”

She could rest once she had that bounty. “Thanks, doc. How much do I owe you?”

“Five hundred credits will suffice.”

“You’re undercharging, Mordin.” She crossed her arms.

He patted her shoulder. “Not undercharging. A discount, for an old friend. Besides, get the most income from you and your friends. Especially Jack.”

There was no arguing with that logic. Her squad took full advantage of the clinic during their runs and they were all kind to Mordin, even Jack, who was typically a foul-mouthed, hateful little thing to almost everyone she encountered.

She transferred the credits to Mordin with her omni-tool, thanked him again, then left the clinic with Garrus, headed for the drop where she could claim her bounty.

* * *

 

The only thing Garrus could think about as he and Shepard made their slow progress toward the bounty drop point was the enormous scar he’d seen stretching down Shepard’s torso when he’d lifted her shirt to check her wound. It was evident from one look that it had been a considerable injury, the skin pale and raised all along the path of the scar from her breast to her hip and curving across part of her pelvis at the bottom end. For a human to have survived something like that…he wasn’t confident a turian even could and yet Shepard was obviously alive and more than kicking.

He was so intensely curious about it, but when she’d told him she didn’t want to discuss it, he didn’t probe her any further. If he had learned one thing about the erratic and unpredictable woman over the last month, it was that she didn’t like to talk about her past. Besides, whatever had caused the injury had to have been traumatic.

Shepard’s speed wasn’t hindered by her new injury, possibly because it was still numb, so it had been up to Garrus to remind her to walk slowly and not overexert herself, as the doctor had ordered. She was agitated with their pace, but she slowed all the same, recognizing that busting open her stitches would not be worth a few minutes shaved off of their travel time.

As they walked, headed one district over, Garrus was unable to shake the image of Shepard’s massive scar from his brain. He must have had hidden his concern poorly, because Shepard interrupted his thoughts with a question.

“Something bothering you, Garrus?”

Multiple times that day she had surprised him with the softness of her tone. It was almost like she didn’t mind being around him, like maybe their time spent running bounties together was putting him on her good side, if she had one.

He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s my scar.” She said simply.

“How did you…?”

“Anyone who sees it always wants to know. Especially turians.”

“Well, we wear our scars with pride,” Garrus told her. “The more scars and the bigger they are, the more evidence of your strength and fortitude.”

“So I’ve heard.” He couldn’t quite read the meaning behind her tone. “Maybe I’ll tell you one day, Garrus, but not today.”

“I didn’t…I just…how long did it take to recover from something like that?”

“Physically? Months.” She left the statement unfinished. Emotionally, the toll explained a considerable amount about her.

Garrus didn’t ask any more questions. She would tell him when she told him and he would just have to be patient. His father had always tried to impress upon him the importance of patience, but he’d never taken the lesson to heart very well; it was hard to be patient when he was so curious.

“Why don’t we talk about you?” Shepard suggested.

“What about me?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. What do you do when you aren’t working or wasting time helping me with this bullshit?”

“It’s not bullshit,” Garrus protested. “I do like to think we’re making a difference here.”

“Oh, let’s not turn this into a philosophical debate. Just answer the question.”

He considered it for a moment. When he’d worked up on the Presidium, he’d spent his free time in the shooting range honing his skills, or else going out to bars with his coworkers. Now that he was living down in Bachjret, he supplemented the shooting range with time spent with Shepard, but he still went out semi-frequently with Chellick and the others. Down in the wards, he felt like he needed a drink more often than he had ever needed one doing busywork on the Presidium. He was also young, and going out usually entailed bringing someone home to scratch a particular itch.

“Well, I go out with Chellick and Alenko and Williams usually once every week or so. We go to a few different bars around here and get drinks. I like to read sometimes, I guess. Chellick sent me some old books he had on his datapad.”

Shepard laughed. “I didn’t think Chellick read anything more complex than Fornax.”

This made Garrus laugh too. “I didn’t say _what_ books he sent me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you really into that weird hanar shit, Vakarian?”

“Hm, yeah, all their weird legs really turn me on.”

She burst into a fit of uncharacteristic giggles. “Me, personally I like the elcor editions.” She smacked him on the arm suddenly. “Have you ever watched an elcor porn vid, Garrus?”

“Wait, are you serious?” He asked unsurely.

“Yeah, it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life because most of the ones they have on the extranet were made for non-elcor audiences. And it’s like,” She put on a deep monotone voice, “’Forcefully: I love your enormous cock.’ ‘With passion: Please fuck me harder.’”

Garrus snorted. “Apparently _somebody’s_ making a market for it.”

“Me and Jack and Tali spent half the night watching those one night. They’re so funny. Then we accidentally stumbled on some weird vorcha stuff and that was…upsetting. I guess that’s one thing that unites every species, they’re all filming themselves fucking and uploading it to the extranet.”

“That should be the Council’s new slogan.” Garrus suggested.

“Stop making me laugh, seriously, I’m going to bust a stitch open.”

It was nice to hear her laugh though; he wasn’t sure they had _ever_ joked about anything on their runs together. She had been sarcastic, certainly, but never to the point of _giggling_. Before he’d heard it, he would have never believed she was even capable of making such a sound.

“So, do I ever get to meet these friends of yours who’ve been helping us?” He asked, shifting the salarian on his shoulder to keep him from slipping. “Tali’s given us good intel two or three times now but I don’t even know her.”

“My friends don’t love cops.” Shepard resumed her more guarded demeanor. “You could have met Jack, but you should really meet her after she’s had a few drinks. Alcohol makes her a little friendly. She really doesn’t like turians, so…”

“So who were the krogan and the human that were with you when we arrested you in the warehouse.”

“Wait a second, how did we end up talking about me?” She shook her head. “I asked _you_ about your interests.”

“Nice deflection,” he growled. “I’m not gathering intel, you know. I’m just trying to get to know you better. The way I see it, it’s like having a partner on the force. I just work with you off the record. I knew a lot about my partner up on the Presidium. Chellick doesn’t really have a system for that at his station though…I usually work with Alenko or Williams.”

“Those were the two that were with you when you arrested me and Thane?”

“Yeah.”

“Alenko was the guy right? He wasn’t bad looking. I think Tali would like him. She’s kind of got a thing for humans.”

“Sounds like Chellick,” Garrus said without thinking. “Er…sorry…” He added immediately.

“For what?” She shrugged. “It’s obvious Chellick has a thing for humans. I don’t think he exactly hides that. Though I don’t know when it stops becoming a ‘thing’ and just becomes his sexuality period.”

“Whenever we go out, Chellick usually goes home with a human. I’ve never seen him talk to turian women, though sometimes they seem interested. Chellick’s not bad looking, I don’t know why…” He stopped himself.

“Why he only sleeps with humans?” Shepard finished for him. “You know, humans have the same stigma about turians? If you only sleep with turians, you must think you can’t do better, because they’re so hideous or whatever. I know with you guys it’s ‘because we’re so soft and weak’.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Garrus felt terrible for even beginning the statement; it was such a force of habit belief. What was there to find appealing about humans anyway? They _were_ soft and weak, for the most part. Shepard was the first human he’d ever met who didn’t _seem_ that human, whose strength and skill in battle genuinely intimidated him. Her scar was evidence enough that she was neither soft nor weak.

“Chellick has a self-esteem issue. No explaining why else he fucks me all the time.” Shepard shrugged off the comment. “I’m not very nice to him sometimes. He could do better than me.”

It sounded like Chellick wasn’t the only one with a self-esteem issue.

He tried to broach a different question on the same subject, one he was curious about, but was well aware _wasn’t_ any of his business.

“So, uh…is it just turians you’re into? Because you and that drell…”

Shepard snorted loudly. “Thane? No. No way. That would be like fucking my brother. Thane is just a good friend. One of my best friends. And not that it’s your business, but no, it’s not just turians.”

“I’m sorry. This whole conversation got off on some weird tangents…” He shook his head.

She laughed. “You could say that again.”

A few minutes later, they reached the coordinates where the salarian was supposed to be exchanged for the bounty. It was a crowded intersection in district 43 where, presumably, the exchange would occur without incident. Garrus didn’t want to assume anything considering that the whole exchange with the salarian should have gone off without a hitch and instead ended with Shepard getting stabbed.

They stood on the corner, getting some stares from the people passing by, some for Shepard’s blood-soaked shirt and some for the unconscious salarian slung over Garrus’ shoulder. Most people in the wards had seen far stranger things to really be bothered though.

Shepard sent a message to the casino owner that had placed the bounty and waited for a response.

“I might just splurge with some of these credits,” she told him while they waited. “Maybe buy myself a new pistol or something, take the squad out for a night at the club. I think the last time I had a fun night out was before I met you.”

“Hm, is that a dig at me?” He raised his brow plate.

“Yeah, obviously.” Her omni-tool pinged, signaling a message, and she read it quickly. “He’s sending a hanar to retrieve the package. Once the credits go through to my account, we hand over the salarian and the exchange is finished.”

“Do you ever worry about what happens to these people after you drop them off?” Garrus asked. “The ones who want to keep the targets and don’t want you to leave them with C-sec? I mean, if you don’t kill them, but you hand them over to someone who will, what does your code matter?”

“In my experience, if they want someone dead, they want a bounty hunter to do it for them. So maybe this guy gets tortured a little bit for stealing a lot of money and then eventually winds up with C-sec, but I doubt he ends up dead.”

A hanar crossed the street and floated past them, its long pink tentacles trailing out beneath it. Its glowing, ovular body was supported by mass effect fields in lieu of a water environment like the one on its home world. It stopped a few feet away from them and stared into the window of a nearby shop.

“This one is here to retrieve the package for Miltonbrav Casino,” it said, its voice sounding on several frequencies. Hanar had no biological means of producing vocal sounds, instead speaking to one another through bioluminescence; translators had long since been programmed to interpret this communication as sound, but it was always an unsettling, multi-layered noise.

Garrus was unsure where to put the salarian; hanar didn’t exactly have the means to lift heavy objects.

“My credits haven’t come through yet,” Shepard growled, stepping closer to the hanar.

“This one has been instructed to wait until you have received your credits before securing the package.”

“You’re damn right you have.”

“This one does not approve of your language.”

Shepard glared at the hanar and crossed her arms. Garrus could tell she had been about to swear at it, just to be rude, but had decided it wasn’t worth the time or effort. She checked her omni-tool continuously, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for the credits. When the transaction finally went through, she sighed with relief.

“Give him the salarian, Garrus.” She ordered.

“Where should I, uh, put him?” He asked.

“This one would ask that you lay him on the ground. This one will take care of the rest. Thank you.”

Garrus set the unconscious salarian down on the sidewalk and hurried after Shepard, who was already putting distance between herself and the hanar.

“How’s your side?” He asked, once they were out of sight of the rendezvous point.

“Still numb. Look, thanks for this. This whole bounty, carrying me to Mordin and all…I really needed these credits. And I enjoyed our conversation,” she smiled faintly.

“Of course. It was a good mission. Except for you getting stabbed.”

She nudged him with her shoulder. “All right, well. I’m getting out of here. Keep me posted on more bounties. Maybe I’ll see you sooner, depends on which one of my friends decides to do something stupid under Chellick’s watch.”

He laughed. “Sure. I’ll see you, Shepard.”

As she walked away, he thought of her scar once more. There was so much he wanted to know about her past, so much that he sincerely doubted he would ever find out; but she had told him more about herself today than she ever had before, and that was a good enough start for him.

* * *

 

 **2178**  
**Huerta Memorial Hospital  
****August 4** th

Shepard’s insides were burning as she clutched at the walker in front of her in an effort to keep herself from falling. Her knuckles were white from gripping the handles so tightly, and her face was red with the effort. The goal had been to walk down the hall once, but she had barely made it two steps so far.

“Just let me sit down,” she begged. “It hurts…it hurts so much.”

“It’s going to hurt, lieutenant, but this is the only way to strengthen the muscles they had to regenerate.”

She’d been assigned a turian physical therapist who she was quickly growing to hate. She was one of the nicest turians Shepard had ever met, with a calm, soothing voice and a very gentle touch, but the exercises she made her do were so horrendously painful, that the only feeling she could find for the woman was resentment.

The only reason she hadn’t let herself collapse on the floor already was because Castis Vakarian was there watching. Lately, he’d been coming by just to check on her progress. He didn’t say as much, he would always spend a few minutes updating her on the status of his investigation, but she knew the real reason. For whatever reason, though her best guess was pity, he had become personally invested in her recovery.

Considering he was just about the only visitor she ever got, she’d taken a reluctant liking to him; his behavior around her was almost fatherly.

Maybe it was a form of Stockholm Syndrome.

He stood against the wall watching her struggle to hold herself up against the walker, a sadness in his eyes. Shepard took another step and it felt like a fire brand was being shoved into her torso.

“Doctor Velaxis,” Castis said. “Please don’t take this as me trying to do your job for you, but don’t you think it would be easier for Jane to start with some sort of living support? Someone that could help keep her up?”

The physical therapist shifted next to Shepard, her subharmonics hitting some sort of meaningful pitch that she couldn’t understand.

“Commander Vakarian, I appreciate your concern for the lieutenant, but I have years of training. I assure you, I know what I’m doing.”

Castis cleared his throat and folded his arms over his chest. “I apologize. I wasn’t trying to suggest that you weren’t qualified.”

Shepard struggled to move her foot forward and let out a scream of frustration and pain. It was too much, too damn much. She’d never realized how many abdominal muscles were necessary for just holding herself up until she’d been forced to use them after having them all torn apart and rebuilt. For reasons she couldn’t explain, she didn’t want to disappoint Castis by giving up.

But she couldn’t take anymore.

She fell to the ground and both Castis and Dr. Velaxis were at her side immediately.

“I can’t…” She cried, unwelcome tears forming in her eyes. “I can’t do it. It’s too much. Just let me die. They should have just let me die…”

“It’s okay, lieutenant. We’re done for today,” Dr. Velaxis frowned. “You did well, you really did. These things take time.”

By then, some of the nearby nurses had come to her aid as well. Castis and Dr. Velaxis gave them space while they lifted her into a wheelchair to return her to her room. She was trying not to sob, because crying hurt her abdomen as much as everything else she did, and because it embarrassed her to be so weak.

Once she was back in her bed, the nurses and the physical therapist took their leave and she was alone with Castis, as she had been frequently over the past few months.

“You have to give yourself more credit, Jane.” He said after a few seconds of silence.

“Why? Because I was strong enough to survive this?” She wiped away her tears, but more just took their place. “What kind of life is this? All of this agony and time and Nihlus is still protected by Spectre Status and I still can’t walk on my own, can barely sit up on my own…” She sniffled pathetically.

“And a month ago you couldn’t even do that. ‘Barely’ is better than not at all, Jane. Improvement isn’t an instantaneous process. You need to learn more patience.” Castis’ mandibles flared.

“How about I gut you and see how patient you are Castis?” She growled. “Why are you even here? Why do you care? What do I matter to you? I don’t fucking need you or your pity. Why are you here!?”

“Because you have no one else!” He yelled. “Spirits, you are the most infuriating child I’ve ever dealt with and I have a son that’s more stubborn than a krogan. You haven’t made it easy to care about you, Jane, and yet here I am. Would you prefer that I never visit you again? That I just leave you alone here with no one and nothing?”

She turned her face away from him as she failed to stifle back a sob.

He was all she had and all she could do was be cruel to him because he was the only one to vent her anger to.

After a moment, she heard him get up and she was afraid he was leaving, but instead she felt his hand curl around hers and squeeze it.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped.

“I know you are. You have every reason to be angry at what happened to you, Jane, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t always take it out on me. I’m trying to help you.”

“Why?”

He sighed. “Because you remind me of myself when I was young. And because I see the potential for greatness in you. But it won’t come from self-pity and anger. You have to be stronger.”

She let out a quavering sigh and finally met his gaze. “I’ll try.”

* * *

 

**I've compiled a playlist on Spotify for this fic, one song to represent each chapter, which I'll be updating with a new song as I update with new chapters. If you're interested,[the playlist can be accessed here](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for the lovely comments on the last chapter. A little hint of Shakarian starting to form this chapter! I'm really having fun writing this Shepard and I'm really excited to get more into her backstory. More soon!


	7. Freudian Slip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains sexual content

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **May 13** th

“We’re going out, we’re getting drunk, and I’m having sex with someone that isn’t fucking Chellick.”

These had been Shepard’s ground rules for the evening.

She intended to spend a small portion of the credits she’d received from the salarian bounty taking her squad out to a club in district 39 where the drinks were strong and the crowd was always attractive, or at least attractive by wards standards. It had been a week since the salarian bounty, a week since she’d seen Garrus _or_ Chellick, and over a month since she’d been out to a club. Considering that, for a while, she and her roommates had been going out to clubs every other weekend, a month was an exceptionally long time.

Jack had wanted to go out naked, but Tali and Jacob had to remind her that nudity was also referred to as public indecency and would get her arrested, thereby breaking Shepard’s third rule for the evening. She settled for the next best thing: a little slip of a bra that barely covered her nipples and a pair of shorts that may as well have been underwear for all they covered. It all looked remarkably tacky with her combat boots, as she preferred.

Shepard was still deciding on what to wear. The comfort of her usual street clothes wouldn’t do her any favors if she wanted to get laid, but she wasn’t quite as bold as Jack when it came to the amount of skin she was willing to show. Even a midriff was off limits; she wasn’t interested in showing the world her scar.

Tali sat on the edge of Shepard’s bed as she rummaged through her dresser trying to decide on an outfit, tossing clothes into a pile on the floor next to her feet.

“I wish I could wear different outfits,” Tali sighed. “It’s a hassle to even repair my suit, cosmetic modifications are a nightmare. Just once I’d like to be able to go out on a dance floor looking as crazy and half-naked as Jack.”

“You’d definitely get some attention,” Shepard said.

“Why don’t you wear that short black skirt with the tank top?” Tali suggested. “That looks good, and you had good luck with it last time we went out. With some high heels too.”

“I hate heels,” Shepard complained.

“Okay, but we’re not going on a bounty run, we’re going to a club. No pain, no gain, isn’t that what humans say?”

“Fine, all right. I’ll wear the skirt with the tank top. And those strappy black heels you’re always saying you wished fit quarian feet.”

Tali clapped her hands together happily. “Great!”

“Are we gonna leave this fucking house tonight?” Jack called from the living room. “Me and Jacob and Wrex are ready to party! And Thane’s ready to go too. Even though he’s just going to sit at the bar sipping water and acting like our mother.”

“Someone has to be a responsible adult in this house.” Shepard heard Thane reply.

She found the clothes Tali had suggested at the bottom of one of her drawers and then it was another matter of finding underwear that would look good once her clothes were off. Most of her underwear was practical: sports bras meant for supportiveness while running after a target; actual _sexy_ underwear was expensive and she didn’t have many opportunities to use it.

She _did_ have a pair of lacy black panties and a matching bra, however, which went well with the rest of her outfit. Those too were buried at the bottom of a drawer; it had been a long time since she’d worn them.

Once she was dressed, she and Tali joined the others out in the living room.

“Is Zaeed not coming?”

“He said he’s ‘too old to go out to the club with a bunch of goddamn children’.” Jacob explained, putting on his best impression of Zaeed’s accent.

No surprise there, Zaeed almost never went out with them. He’d been a bit of a lone wolf before Shepard had reeled him into her squad, and he _was_ a good deal older than the rest of them, except Wrex, who had them all beat by several hundred years.

“Try to remember, Jack,” Thane said, “if you forget the code to the door, I’ll be sober, and I’ll remember it. No reason to break the door down.”

“Yeah yeah. Let’s go already!”

The club they were headed to was a bit of a walk, one Shepard wasn’t particularly looking forward to in the heels she was wearing. She knew Tali was right: this was supposed to be a fun and relaxing night out, she didn’t need to be prepared for a full-on gunfight, but she still disliked wearing something she knew would actively hinder her if she needed to run for some reason. About halfway to their destination, she opted to take the shoes off and walk barefoot, nearly as dangerous on the streets of the ward, but far more comfortable on her feet. She would put the heels on again when they reached the club.

There were benefits to the particular club they were headed to: it was a bit of a dive, which meant the drinks were cheaper, and it was a less choice destination compared to other clubs on Bachjret, which meant shorter lines to get in. None of the women in their group were exactly the type to be able to get past a bouncer with their looks, so a short line was a necessity; Shepard was too tough and muscular, Jack too insane and her tits too small (to say nothing of her reputation throughout the ward), and Tali’s entire face and body were obscured by her suit.

When Shepard and her group finally reached their destination, it was a short five minutes and a fifty-credit cover, and then they were inside.

The club consisted of two stories with a dance floor on each. A bar spanning the entire length of the back wall was well-supplied with both dextro and levo alcohol options and enough bartenders that there was almost never a wait, which meant they could get drunk fast. Loud, uninspired music blared through the speakers, mostly just a pulsing beat to grind to; that was all Shepard really needed though. She and Jack made a beeline for the bar as soon as they entered, sharing a round of shots and preparing for a night she hoped she didn’t even remember the next day.

* * *

 

An hour after they had arrived, Shepard was buzzed, though nowhere near as drunk as she would have liked to be, sandwiched between an asari and a drell on the downstairs dance floor. She’d wandered over to dance with Jack and Tali ten minutes earlier and somehow wound up between the two strangers, who she was fairly confident were together.

The asari had dark purple skin, with a hooked nose and intense eyes: a little rough looking, but definitely not someone Shepard would have kicked out of bed. As for the drell: he was tall; he had large, kissable lips; and she could feel his erection pressing into her ass as they danced; all good enough reasons to find him attractive as far as she was concerned.

Shepard grinded her bottom against the drell’s pelvis as the asari pressed her breasts against hers. An unpleasant thought flickered into her brain, just long enough to nearly ruin her mood: what would Garrus Vakarian’s dick feel like pressed against her like the drell’s was?

_Not Castis Vakarian’s son…Not Castis Vakarian’s son._

To distract herself, she grabbed the asari’s face and pressed her lips to hers. She’d been spending too much time kissing Chellick and it was nice to feel a pair of soft lips for a change. The asari wasted no time, opening her mouth to Shepard’s and sliding her tongue into it. Shepard met the pressure of the asari’s tongue hungrily, her heartbeat throbbing between her legs.

A threesome sounded pretty great, but the night was young and she needed another drink. Reluctantly, she broke her mouth away from the asari’s, but the other woman just moved her mouth to Shepard’s neck instead. It took a great deal of willpower for Shepard to pull her off.

“I’m going to get another drink,” she yelled over the music. “Can I get you something?”

“Honey mead!” The asari yelled before quickly taking up Shepard’s space against the drell.

She pushed herself through the throngs of people on the dancefloor and crossed the room to the bar. She didn’t realize how much she’d been sweating until she was out in a more open space where fans circled lazily overhead; the breeze felt incredible.

Despite the crowd around the bar, it was quieter on that side of the club. The speakers blaring the music had been designed to center around and partially contain the music within the dancefloor, which allowed for conversation when seated at one of the many booths or tables on the other end of the club.

Shepard waited in line for a few minutes, then bought herself and the asari a honey mead and prepared to return to the dance floor, sipping at both drinks to lower their volume and keep them from spilling.

“Shepard? Hey, Shepard!” A familiar voice called.

Shit.

Her eyes scanned the room and she found Garrus Vakarian waving at her from the end of a table near the wall. The two human C-sec officers, Alenko and Williams, were seated to his right, and Chellick and another human were on his left. Chellick fixed her with the turian equivalent of a grin, mandibles twitching.

_Fuck._

 She gave one last thought to the drell and the asari grinding against each other on the dance floor and realized there was no reasonable way to avoid a conversation with the table full of C-sec officers. She reluctantly walked over to them and stood at the corner between Garrus and Chellick.

“Small ward,” Chellick greeted her.

“Didn’t we…didn’t we arrest her a few weeks ago?” Williams asked, leaning heavily on her arm.

She was a serious looking woman, but when Shepard had met her, she’d been in full C-sec gear with her hair pulled back into a tight bun. With her hair let down, in street clothes and slightly tipsy, she was seemed less severe.

Alenko was still good looking, the traditional tall dark and handsome, and better looking for being dressed down with a stupid grin on his face. It seemed the C-sec officers were all as buzzed as she was.

Garrus certainly was. Nothing else could explain his decision to call her over to a table full of people that had arrested her a few weeks earlier, people who knew nothing about her relationship with either turian at the table.

“I’m off duty,” Chellick said, sipping at his drink. “So it’s not really any concern to me if she happens to be a criminal.”

Shepard glanced past Chellick to the woman next to him. She was, quite possibly and without exaggeration, the most beautiful woman Shepard had ever seen: gorgeous blue eyes, luxurious chestnut hair, a rack that would have made Jack drool; she was also wearing the most bored expression Shepard had ever seen.

“Have you met everyone, Shepard?” Garrus asked. His words were a little sloppy and his mandibles kept twitching into a grin. “This is Kaidan and Ash and Miranda.” Alenko, Williams, and the beautiful unimpressed woman next to Chellick. “And of course, you know Chellick.”

“Why don’t you sit down, Shepard?” Chellick asked, reaching over to a nearby table and pulling a chair up between himself and Garrus.

She glanced back to the dance floor. The asari and drell were still there, still dancing together with no one between them…

Garrus tugged on her arm insistently and she fell into the seat.

“What are you drinking?” he asked, reaching out a clumsy hand to try and grab one of the honey meads from her. She pulled it away and set it on the other side of her, but Garrus just grabbed her empty hand and spread her fingers out, staring at them with wide eyes.

She was, quite frankly, annoyed at the little shiver that ran down her spine when he touched her.

“How much have you had to drink, Garrus?” She asked.

“A few.” He nodded, as if this were an acceptable answer.

“We haven’t been out in a while,” Chellick explained. “Garrus, you should have some water and straighten yourself out. There’s three women by the bar who can’t take their eyes off of you.” Only Shepard heard him mutter, ‘Fucking typical’ under his breath.

Garrus wheeled around to look at the bar and Shepard followed his gaze. Two turians and an asari were in fact staring at him. When they noticed him looking, they turned away, giggling like children. Shepard felt _more_ than a little annoyed at the prick of jealousy their behavior stirred in her.

 _He is Castis_ fucking _Vakarian’s son._

He still smelled pretty fucking good.

“I did come out here with a purpose,” Garrus said. “I told them already, I really need get laid!”

If Shepard wasn’t already burning up from the alcohol and dancing, her cheeks would have flushed. Her crotch was still throbbing, the likelihood that she was going home with anyone besides Chellick was rapidly dwindling, and now she was thinking about Garrus getting laid.

“He never has any problems finding someone when we go out,” Chellick said. “But if he doesn’t stop drinking, he’s not going to enjoy himself.”

Shepard sipped one of her honey meads and contemplated the table in silence. Some fucking night out.

“So…” Alenko tapped his fingers on the table. “You know the captain?”

“It’s a long story,” She replied tersely.

“Ah, I see.”

“Well, this is awkward!” Williams laughed and knocked back the rest of her drink. “I’m gonna go dance. You want to come, Miranda?”

“No thank you.” It was the first time she’d spoken since Shepard arrived.

Williams shrugged and disappeared into the crowd. Garrus reached for Shepard’s drink again and she smacked his hand away.

“This is levo alcohol, Garrus. Not for you.”

“Hey, can we get some water over here?” Chellick yelled at one of the asari waitresses flitting from table to table taking orders for the bar. She waved a hand to signal she’d heard him.

“What a selfless captain you are, Chellick, helping your officers hook up at the club,” Shepard laughed.

His hand gripped her knee beneath the table. “Well, Shepard, in turian culture we think it’s important for people to blow off steam; keeps them focused when it comes time for the mission.”

“That’s true,” Garrus agreed amiably.

Shepard clutched her drink tightly as Chellick’s hand crept up her thigh. She nearly dropped the drink when his talons dug suddenly into her, so hard that he almost broke the skin. She looked up, prepared to yell at him, and found Jack yanking on the edge of his fringe.

“Miss me, Chellick?” She squealed.

His eyes were squeezed shut, mouth partially open, mandibles flaring in agony. “Stop it! _STOP IT!”_ He growled, talons still digging further into Shepard’s leg.

“Jack!” Shepard hissed through gritted teeth. “Enough.”

Jack let go of his fringe and shrugged. “Just giving him a hard time. I saw you over here having a chat with our friendly neighborhood C-sec agents and thought you might want to know that the drell and asari you were trying to hook up with left without you.”

_God dammit._

She was distracted by Chellick’s thumb brushing affectionately over the spot where his talons had dug into her. She smacked his hand away.

“I’m fine,” she told him.

He sipped his drink and said nothing.

Jack sat down in the vacant seat left by Williams, directly across from Miranda. She stared at the C-sec officer with her mouth slightly ajar; just as Shepard had predicted.

“What’s your name, gorgeous?” She asked.

Miranda stared at her for a moment before deigning to provide her with an answer. “Officer Lawson.”

“Hm, you want me to refill that drink of yours, officer?” Jack winked at her.

“That’s quite all right.”

Jack cracked her knuckles. “That’s fine. I like a slow burn.” She looked sideways at Alenko. “Hey aren’t you the one that threw me in the interrogation room?”

Alenko had already moved his chair closer to Garrus and his eyes widened when Jack spoke to him. “Never seen you before,” he muttered into his drink. He leaned forward toward Shepard and said, “You know her?”

“Don’t worry,” She patted his hand. “She’s had enough to drink that the only thing she’ll be thinking about for the rest of the night is sex. And not with you.”

This seemed to placate the officer, because he leaned back in his chair again and sipped at his drink.

The asari showed up with a pitcher of water and some plastic cups to pour it in, slamming the pitcher down and spilling half of its contents onto the table. Garrus clumsily poured himself a cup, started to drink it, then stopped before it reached his mouth.

“You need some water, Shepard?” he asked, head cocked.

Why did he have to be so damn cute? Why had she ever agreed to work with him? Why the hell was she thinking about him like this? There was a whole hell of a lot wrapped up in the reasons for this budding soft spot for Garrus Vakarian, none of which she wanted to delve into or think about at all.

“I’m okay, Garrus. You drink.”

He gulped down the water and poured himself another cup.

“Not too fast or you’ll puke,” Chellick warned.

“How much have _you_ had to drink?” Shepard asked him.

“Not too much, if that’s what you’re asking.” He raised his brow plate, his subharmonics hitting a very suggestive pitch that she was all too familiar with.

“You should find Tali.” She ignored him and spoke to Jack instead.

“Why?” Jack was still staring at Miranda, who continued to sit there sipping her drink and looking bored. She wondered why the woman had joined her coworkers that night at all.

Shepard nodded to Alenko, who was smiling contentedly in his chair.

“Ah,” Jack nodded. “Yeah, I could see that. Maybe finally put that little stimulation unit of hers to use. I’ll go see if I can find her. You keep an eye on that beautiful creature for me.”

“I don’t think it’s going to happen, Jack.”

“I’m not a fucking quitter, Shepard!” She took off into the crowd, leaving Shepard alone with the officers again.

“I think I might go dance after all,” Miranda said suddenly, rising to her feet and pushing her chair into the table. Shepard watched her leave, not in the direction of the dance floor, but in the direction Jack had gone. _Interesting._

Shepard chugged the rest of her first honey mead and started on the second.

“Might want to go easy on that,” Chellick suggested.

“I know my limits. Jack’s not going to be coming back with Tali. How does Alenko feel about quarians?”

“How should I know?” He shrugged. “I’ve never seen him leave the bar with one. The kid is such a puppy dog, I’m not even sure he’s capable of a one-night stand. He might be one of those people who has to be ‘in love’ to have sex with someone.”

“Crazy thought,” she laughed.

“Alenko!”

The officer snapped his head forward and looked around. “Captain?”

“What do you think of quarians?”

“Sir?” He cocked his head.

“Would you fuck one?” Chellick, the model of discretion and subtlety.

“Uh…I haven’t really considered it, captain.”

“Why don’t you go and dance with Williams and Lawson?”

Shepard knew exactly what Chellick was doing.

Alenko seemed to mull it over for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, that could be fun. Can I ask why you asked me about quarians, captain?”

“Forget about it.”

The officer took one last sip of his drink and then left for the dance floor. Garrus sat sipping his water quietly, glancing back at the women at the bar every few seconds.

“So Lawson’s pretty good looking,” Shepard noted.

“Is she?” Chellick feigned innocence.

“Yeah, you ever…?”

He snorted. “No. I don’t cross that line with my officers. I would though, if she didn’t work under me. She wouldn’t, I can guarantee that much. So there’s no point in dwelling on it.”

“Very noble of you, Chellick.”

He draped his arm casually across her shoulder. “What can I say? I’m a shining example of good protocol and lawfulness.”

Shepard shook her head. The honey mead was starting to hit her, so instead of finishing her second glass, she opted for some water. She was still thinking about Garrus, the intrusive thoughts pushing to the forefront of her mind every few minutes. Meanwhile, entirely oblivious, he continued to stare at the turian women at the bar, an almost primal hunger slowly showing itself in his eyes.

It was really too damn bad that he was Castis’ son, that she had this ostensibly professional relationship with him, because if he wasn’t, she would have taken him home and ridden him until his spine snapped.

“You’re staring,” Chellick whispered in her ear.

She jumped and turned to face him. He was so close that her nose brushed against his when she turned.

“What?” Her heart was pounding in her ears.

“Hm.” Chellick’s subharmonics rumbled. He leaned back in his seat and dropped his hand from her shoulder. “Murky water, Shepard.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she snapped.

“No need to get defensive.”

Garrus finished off his second cup of water and stood up. “I’m going to go talk to those girls.” He said. “Wish me luck. Hopefully I won’t see you again tonight.”

“Good luck, Garrus,” Chellick said, a chipper tone to his voice. Once Garrus was gone, he spoke to Shepard. “Oh, Shepard. I really thought you might be the one woman who wouldn’t cream herself over Vakarian. Such a disappointment.”

“Excuse me?” She had no right to be as irritated as she was with his completely grounded claims, it just annoyed her that he could read her so easily.

“Please, you were staring at him like he was a piece of meat.”

“He’s good looking, okay?” She growled. “It doesn’t _mean_ anything. I’m buzzed and he’s attractive. That’s all. Why do you care? I’m obviously going home with you.”

“I didn’t want to assume,” he shrugged.

“You’re so _gallant_ , Chellick.” She patted his cheek. “It’s hot in here. Let’s go stand outside for a minute and get some air.” She grabbed his hand and led him out of the club and onto the street outside, doing anything to avoid thinking about Garrus.

The Citadel’s climate was artificially cool at night, to simulate night on most species’ home-worlds. It felt good on Shepard’s flushed skin and she stood for a moment letting the cool air hit her. Chellick leaned back against the wall a few feet from the entrance and watched her.

“Garrus asked me about your scar the other day,” he said casually.

“ _What?”_

“Calm down, he wasn’t trying to invade your privacy. He just asked me if I knew how you got it. I told him that I did, but it wasn’t my place to tell him. He dropped it, but he’s obviously curious. Which got me wondering why he knew you had it to begin with.”

“Oh, it’s because the other day when we were out hunting a target, instead of doing that, I fucked him in an alley.” Shepard rolled her eyes. “I got stabbed, Chellick. He saw it when he was helping me seal the wound with medi-gel.”

“Are you all right?” He ignored her sarcastic jibe.

“I’m fine. He took me to Mordin’s clinic. It’s all healed now, the stitches dissolved yesterday.” She lifted her shirt to show him the fresh scar on her side. He traced his finger across it, which made her skin jump.

“You should be more careful.”

“I think if Nihlus didn’t kill me, nothing will.”

He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her against him, her legs straddling his thigh. “You aren’t invincible just because you survived that, Shepard. You should stop acting like you are.”

“You sound like Castis.”

“You’re so goddamn irritating sometimes,” he growled.

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black.”

“I don’t understand that stupid phrase.” His mandibles twitched with annoyance.

“You’re irritating sometimes too! Yet here we are. Still dealing with each other. Three stupid years of this shit.” She sighed and looked up at him. “I don’t want to argue with you, Chellick. I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass.”

His face softened. “I’m sorry you’re such a pain in the ass too.”

She smacked his shoulder. “You’re such a dick!”

He laughed and pulled her against him, drowning out any further complaints with a kiss. She did still wish she’d gone home with the asari and the drell, but at least Chellick was always a sure thing, something she was already taking for granted since they’d been reunited.

She opened her mouth against his and their tongues tangled together, a little moan escaping his throat as they kissed. His leg hitched between hers and she grinded against it, clutching at his neck as his talons dug into her ass.

“Yeah, we can just grab a mass transit shuttle to my place and…” Garrus’ voice sounded near the entrance to the club, causing Shepard and Chellick to break apart quickly. He had stopped in his tracks to stare at the two of them, his arm hooked around the waist of an attractive turian woman with green clan markings.

It could have been worse, considering he _had_ walked in on the two of them having sex a few weeks earlier.

“Uh, Shepard, Chellick,” Garrus nodded.

Shepard straightened out her skirt and coughed. “Garrus.”

“You have a good night, Garrus,” Chellick told him.

Garrus led his new friend past them and away toward the shuttle stop.

“Well, this is going to make for an uncomfortable evening,” Chellick said.

“Why?”

“There’s a mass transit shuttle coming soon and another one won’t come for an hour and Garrus and I live in the same apartment building.”

Shepard deflated. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“You living somewhere nicer than that old bachelor pad you had in district 30?” She asked, trying not the think about the fact that she was going to have to spend a likely painful amount of time on a shuttle with Garrus and his date.

“You’ll see.” Chellick placed his hand on her back and led her to the shuttle stop.

The shuttle in question had just pulled up to the stop, a van-sized skycar that could hold around fifteen people in the back of it. Shepard wasn’t keen on the mass transit shuttles, preferring to walk anywhere she could, or rent a private shuttle when she could afford it, but the mass transit was cheapest, and always a good standby when drunk.

Because fate had cursed her for some horrible mistake in a past life, Garrus and his date were the only other people on the shuttle when they climbed on, and remained the only other people on the shuttle as the vehicle took off toward its next stop.

Chellick and Shepard sat across from Garrus and his date in an awkward silence.

“So…you…work with Garrus?” The turian woman was the one to break the silence.

“Yeah,” Chellick didn’t offer any further explanation.

“I guess Chellick told you we live in the same building?” Garrus asked Shepard.

She nodded and tried to think about something other than the ugly thought of him fucking that turian woman, or the worse thought that she wished it was her.

The shuttle ride was only ten minutes, but it easily lasted an hour in Shepard’s mind. When it finally stopped outside the apartment building, she had never been more relieved to get out of a vehicle in her entire life, but the torture wasn’t over yet; they had to ride up in the elevator together. It was as awkward and uncomfortable as the shuttle ride had been, but mercifully shorter.

Garrus and his date got off at the sixth floor and the elevator continued on to the eleventh.

“Well, that was probably the longest shuttle ride I’ve ever taken,” Chellick laughed. The doors opened on his floor and he grabbed Shepard’s hand and led her down the hallway to his apartment, tapping in the key code to his door while she watched.

No doubting it was trust, not stupidity.

The apartment was small, but nothing more than Chellick needed for himself, and far nicer than the old building he’d lived in. The main room contained a very turian-looking couch, all angles and firm cushions, which faced a vid screen hanging on the wall; a small, but clean and well-stocked kitchen jutted off the side of the main room with a nook where a dining table with two chairs sat near a window that overlooked the ward.

“This is nice, Chellick,” Shepard said honestly.

“It’s better than the other place, yeah.”

He pulled his shirt over his head and stepped into the bedroom located down a hall to the left. The room was spacious, but the bed was as turian as the couch: they loved their firm mattresses. To the right of the door, two large floor-to-ceiling windows allowed another look out onto the ward from on high. Shepard gazed out the window at all of the lights twinkling below, the other arms of the Citadel gleaming even further in the distance.

Chellick approached her from behind and kissed her shoulder, moving his lips up to her neck, his tongue tracing across her skin as he went. She leaned into him and closed her eyes.

He wasted no time in removing her clothes, reaching to the hem of her shirt and pulling it up over her head, turning her around to face him after he removed it. His hand traced delicately over the lace of her bra.

“Didn’t know you had anything quite so dainty, Shepard.”

“Well, if I had known I would be coming home with you, I would have just worn my stupid sports bra. I know you hate the hooks on the regular ones.”

“I do,” he agreed.

She reached around and unhooked the bra for him, shrugging it off of her shoulders and letting it hit the ground. His lips pressed against her collarbone and he trailed them down to her breast, circling her nipple with his tongue and moving further down still to kiss a path along her scar. She stroked his head and sighed.

“Why do you like it so much?”

“I just do.” He was deflecting, but now was not the time for a more detailed conversation.

“Take off the rest of your clothes and get on the bed.” She told him.

As always, he complied, removing his pants eagerly and laying down on the bed. He was pressing against his pelvic plates, which couldn’t have been comfortable; it happened more often when he had been drinking.

She slipped her skirt off and stepped out of her underwear and climbed next to him on the bed, kissing his neck and tracing her hand along the little gap in his plating. His hands gripped her flesh eagerly.

“Shepard.” Her name left his mouth in a tiny gasp.

“You’re so reliable, Chellick.” She stroked his mandible and nipped at his bottom lip before kissing him again.

His plates opened and she felt his erection pressed between them. His fingers slid along her back, down over her bottom and between her legs: a tentative touch to gauge how ready she was. For a moment, she imagined they were Garrus’ fingers.

_Bad idea, Shepard..._

It wasn’t fair to Chellick to be thinking about Garrus, especially when he was being so unusually tender and gentle. His tongue moved against hers and again she thought of Garrus. The thoughts were impossible to push out.

She broke her mouth away from Chellick’s and rolled onto her side, pressing her back against him.

“Get inside me, Chellick,” she demanded.

He complied, lifting her leg and holding it up as he slid into her, hard and warm and well lubricated. She arched her back and rolled her hips to meet his thrusts.

So reliable.

She wondered if Garrus’ cock felt this good.

_Stop thinking about Garrus Vakarian._

What the hell was wrong with her?

Chellick’s free hand moved between her legs to rub against her clit as he pumped in and out of her. Her breath left her throat in ragged gasps and she leaned her head back, exposing her neck for him to kiss. Why was he doing this? Why did he care about her pleasure now? Why did his cock feel _so fucking good_?

He bucked his hips against her and moaned into her shoulder. She couldn’t say his name, didn’t risk opening her mouth for anything except wordless gasps and moans. His finger was moving in time with his thrusts, pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

What would an orgasm from Garrus feel like? What would he feel like inside of her? Why did he have to be Castis’ son?

She momentarily gave up fighting off the thoughts in favor of imagining that it was him moving inside of her, his finger stroking her to climax, his tongue dragging along her neck. God, she was so close…so close. She rolled her hips to press harder against his finger, to meet his frantic thrusts.

_Don’t think about Garrus. Don’t think about Garrus. Don’t think about Garrus._

It wasn’t helping. The pleasure was short-circuiting her brain.

_Don’t think about Garrus. Don’t think about Garrus. Don’t think about Garrus._

_Garrus…Garrus…_

“ _Uhn…Garrus!_ ” A burst of white-hot pleasure exploded behind her eyes and rippled through her body and it wasn’t until the feeling had passed that she realized what she had done.

Chellick, to his credit, was still thrusting away, riding out the contraction of her muscles around him. His legs began to shake as his movements slowed and became less coordinated. Several short gasps escaped his throat, then a loud, wordless moan as his hips jerked a few last desperate times.

He fell still and lay against her for several seconds, the two of them breathing heavily, a hot wetness between their legs. When he pulled out of her, he fell onto his back and she took a moment to roll over and face him.

What the fuck could she even say?

“Chellick…I am so sorry…I…”

“Oh, you know my name now?” He asked, subvocals laced with irritation.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You are so fucked, Shepard.” He said. “ _So fucked._ Castis Vakarian’s son?”

She sat up and put her hand on his chest. “Chellick, it’s nothing. I just…”

“First of all, I have a right to be annoyed about this.” He shoved her hand away. “That was some _really_ good sex, Shepard. I was really enjoying it until the part where you screamed Garrus fucking Vakarian’s name instead of mine. Second of all, would you just get a fucking grip? You’re going to sit there and tell me it’s nothing when you just yelled his name while I was fucking you?” His mandibles twitched, subharmonics reaching a new, angry, pitch.

There was no possible way Shepard could have felt like a bigger piece of shit than she did at that moment.

“Christ.” She buried her face in her hands. “I am so fucked.”

Chellick sat up, but said nothing.

“It’s not like I’m going to do anything!” She continued. “It’s just a base sexual attraction, but I can’t stop thinking about it! Since last week, maybe even before then. He’s really fucking good looking, Chellick, I can’t help it. I won’t do anything. I can’t.”

“You think you’re going to be able to keep working with him when you want to fuck him?” Chellick rolled his eyes. “Good luck with that, Shepard.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s just a stupid childish crush I would never act on…I was thinking about it because I’m buzzed. I’m not…I’m not trying to make excuses, Chellick. I don’t know what to say! I’m sorry!”

He huffed and rolled onto his side, turning his back to her. “Just let me be angry about it, Shepard.

* * *

 

 **2180  
** **Bachjret Ward - District 35 C-Sec Station  
** **February 3** rd

Shepard was strapped into an interrogation chair, beneath a blazing hot lightbulb, waiting for a C-sec officer to come and talk to her. If she was lucky, they would punch her a few times and throw her in a cell for the night; she preferred not to think about the possibilities if she wasn’t lucky.

It was her fourth arrest in the last two months, but the first in Bachjret. She’d been running around the wards for some time, taking on bounties for money and gathering up a small group of other bounty hunters who were willing to work with her, and seemed trustworthy enough not to sell her out. So far, she only had three other people working with her, but she had to be selective about who she trusted, especially down in the wards.

She had been out on a bounty run when the C-sec officers showed up. She’d staged a meetup with a local drug dealer who had a modest bounty on his head of three-thousand credits; considering Shepard had almost no money to her name, three-thousand credits was plenty.

The deal had gone south though. Her plan had been to stun him with her omni-tool and then bring him in to claim the bounty, but while she was meeting with him alone in a dark alleyway, C-sec had arrived, and two turians had run her down and cuffed her at the end of the alley; the only consolation was that they had also arrested the drug dealer.

No matter how many times Shepard tried to explain she wasn’t _actually_ buying Red Sand from a batarian in a dark alley, just _pretending_ , the C-sec officers hadn’t bought the story. They’d dragged her back to their station and thrown her into the interrogation room with the promise that one of their officers would be in to question her soon.

In the meantime, she was sweating her ass off beneath the hot lightbulb.

She probably sat there for a solid hour before the door finally opened and a single officer stepped in. The rest of the room was pitch black, and with the light shining directly in her face, she couldn’t make out any defining features on the officer except that he looked vaguely turian-shaped.

The light swung away from her face suddenly and she blinked a few times, residual spots floating behind her eyelids. Slowly, her eyes adjusted and took in the officer standing in front of her in his dress blues.

Even if she hadn’t already seen enough of him during the investigation into her attack, she would have recognized old green eyes anywhere.

Fucking Chellick.

He folded his arms and stared at her. “Fallen pretty far from the safe little perch you had under Castis Vakarian’s wing, haven’t you Shepard?”

“Chellick. Long time no see.”

He tapped on his omni-tool and made a little tutting noise. “Wasn’t able to look up your priors until now since we didn’t have a record of anyone named ‘Suck my clit you C-sec bastards’ in the system. You’ve had a few run-ins around the wards, hm?”

“Must be boring for you down here now that the case against Nihlus is over.” Shepard ignored him. “I can’t imagine any wards crime really compares.”

He grabbed her arms and leaned over her. “What were you doing with that drug dealer, Shepard?”

His eyes flicked down to her lips and she recalled the way he had stared at her scar every time he’d witnessed it, the way his eyes had always strayed up to her breasts. _This_ could be fun; certainly more fun than getting punched in the face and spending the night in a cold cell.

“It’s like I already told your fellow officers,” she said calmly. “He has a bounty on his head. I was just arranging a deal so I could get him alone and claim the bounty. I don’t care about Red Sand!”

He grabbed her neck. “Try again.”

“Take your fucking hand off of me, Chellick,” she barked.

His hand dropped away from her skin and his mandibles twitched.

So easy.

“Oh, you like to be yelled at, don’t you?” She grinned and looked him up and down. She could do worse. “Such a typical turian. You just love getting orders. Here’s an order for you, undo these arm cuffs.”

“I might like being bossed around, but I’m not an idiot.” He rolled his eyes.

“You can leave my feet cuffed, so I can’t get anywhere.”

He hesitated long enough to make it evident he was willing to consider it.

“What are you going to do if I uncuff your hands?” He took a step back and folded his arms.

“I can think of a few things.” She raised her eyebrows. “Come on, Chellick, I scratch your back, you scratch mine. You want to see my scar? Hm?”

His subharmonics rumbled. She already had a read on him back in the hospital, the few times he’d come by with Castis; his talons were filed down shorter than most turians', and he showed interest in her breasts, which turians usually didn’t. It was evident detective Laratus had a bit of a human fetish.

He tapped at his omni-tool and a second later the metal links holding her arms down came open. She rubbed the tender spot where the cuffs had chafed against her skin.

Chellick stood directly in front of her, mandibles quivering, a low noise issuing from his chest.

The way Shepard saw it, she could use a friend in C-sec if she was going to be hunting bounty targets; someone who didn’t mind bending the rules a little bit, who she could do a favor for in exchange for turning a blind eye when she broke the law to nail a target. If that favor happened to be sexual in nature, well, Chellick wasn’t bad looking, and he obviously liked humans.

“You don’t tell Castis where I am. You don’t breathe a word of this to him,” She ordered.

Chellick shook his head, his eyes glued to her. “Castis is moving on to bigger and better things soon. Heard he’s getting promoted to executor. I haven’t talked to him since the trial. Besides,” his mandibles twitched, “Castis is all about rules and regulations. I could lose my job for whatever it is I’m going to let you do to me.”

“Good boy.”

She pulled her shirt over her head, exposing the long scar running across her torso; Chellick’s eyes went wild roving up and down it.

“Come and touch me, Chellick.” A command, not a suggestion.

He closed the space between them and trailed his hands across her scar, feeling the upraised flesh. He was breathing heavily already.

It had been a while since she’d fooled around with a turian, but she still remembered all the little spots they liked to be touched, which would serve her well in her current situation.

Chellick’s face hovered close to her neck as he leaned over her. He pressed his lips tentatively against her skin and when she craned her neck to expose more of it, he increased the pressure of his kiss.

Yeah, this situation would work out just fine.

She gripped the back of his neck and inched her fingers up to the soft spot beneath his fringe. His subharmonics quavered, the sound vibrating through his lips and into her neck.

Slowly, his kisses moved to the edge of her jaw, then to her lips; she opened her mouth against his and let his tongue snake its way against hers. While he kissed her, her hands moved against his pants, unbuttoning them in a hurry and pushing them down to expose his pelvic plates.

The plates were partially opened, so she dipped two fingers inside, sliding them along the slit of his sheath. The sensation made him moan, his hands gripping her hips, talons digging into her skin. A few more strokes from her fingers and his erection freed itself into her hand, wet and hard.

“You’ve been with a turian before, Shepard?” His face was close enough to hers that his nose brushed against her cheek.

“You tell me.” She pumped her hand up the length of his cock and swirled her thumb around the tip. He let out a little gasp of pleasure and kissed her again while her hand moved between his legs.

A handjob was a good enough place to start if he wound up being the kind of asshole who let her get him off and then threw her in a cell anyway, and it was _definitely_ worth it if he let her go.

She stroked him, slowly at first, but increasing the speed and pressure as she continued. Just pumping him like a maniac might make him cum quickly, but if she took the time to make sure he enjoyed it, he would want more later, like the next time she found herself in his interrogation room.

He thrust himself against her grip, barely conscious that he was doing it, his kisses growing sloppier the longer her hand moved against him. His breathing sped up and he pressed his face into her neck.

“Oh…Shepard…” He gasped. “Don’t stop…oh… _fuck…_ ”

“You can cum on me, Chellick.”

Where else was it going to go? Maybe he’d have a towel or maybe she’d have to walk home with it stuck to her skin beneath her shirt until she could shower. She grimaced at the thought.

His subharmonics hit a few different octaves seemingly at once, his grip on her hips tightening. He leaned back and his cock throbbed in her hand as a stream of cum shot onto her stomach, hot on her skin. When he was completely finished, he stepped back on shaky legs and stared at her with heavy eyelids.

“You’ve got a pretty decent cock, Chellick,” she told him.

“Your hands are so soft.” He looked delirious.

“I could use a towel.”

He looked at her stomach, mandibles twitching into a smile at the sight of his handiwork. Men were so fucking weird about their cum. He didn’t say anything to her, but he crossed the room to a cabinet and returned with a rough, blood-stained towel. _Pleasant._

She wiped herself down and pulled her shirt back on.

“So what are you going to do for me now, Chellick?”

The cuffs around her ankles came undone.

“Oh look,” Chellick said, tapping on his omni-tool. “Your bail is marked as paid in the system. Weird. Guess you can go.”

“Let’s do this again sometime.” She grinned at him as she stood up.

“I’m counting on it.”

* * *

 

**The playlist I'm curating for this fic has been updated with a new song for this chapter![It can be found here](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun to write because I love writing 'squad at the bar' chapters and who doesn't love tipsy Garrus? Thanks to everyone who's been reading and commenting, I really appreciate it, it's a huge motivation and I'm also just glad people are enjoying it! More soon!


	8. Just Friends

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **May 14** th

The satisfaction of a one-night stand was almost never worth the empty feeling the morning after, when the conquest was gone and Garrus was alone with his thoughts. He awoke following his night with the cute turian woman from the bar to find himself spread out in his bed by himself. At least he wasn’t hungover; one point to Chellick for reminding him to stay hydrated.

He took his time getting out of bed, and it wasn’t until his stomach began to rumble that he had any real motivation to move. Making something for himself sounded like too much of a chore, and there was a great diner a few blocks away that served up the best Palaveni food on the Citadel, so he pulled on some clothes and shuffled into the elevator with a yawn.

To his surprise, Shepard was standing in the elevator looking like she’d been hit by a train. She wore last night’s clothes, wrinkled and disheveled, her hair stood on end, and her makeup was smudged from her sleep. In her hand, she held a pair of a shoes with long, thin heels on them, her feet completely bare.

“Fuck,” she greeted him.

“Shepard.” He moved across the elevator from her and waited while the doors closed. “You’ve looked better.” He thought he was being funny, a little playful even; thought he had perhaps earned the ability to be a little less guarded around her. Maybe she was tired, or maybe he had just read her wrong, but the gaze she fixed him with could have burned a hole through him.

“So…” He tried a new topic. “Last night was kind of awkward.”

“You have no fucking clue.”

She was definitely not referring to the shuttle ride. Well, at least he hadn’t read her wrong. Whatever was irking her undoubtedly had something to do with Chellick.

“Sorry if I ruined your evening.” He was awkwardly vomiting up the first words that came to his mouth. “Waving you over I mean. I guess you had been dancing with someone…Chellick’s the one that noticed you actually. He pointed you out and I was a little drunk…”

“Garrus.”

“Yes, Shepard?”

“Please shut up.”

“Sorry. Did something happen…? I mean it’s not my business, but you seem upset.” He cocked his head.

She closed her eyes and sighed. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

That was one of her favorite phrases. It was a miracle he’d learned absolutely anything about her since they’d started working together, considering all she did was deflect every question he asked. At least now he had pieced together that whatever made her so guarded, so uptight, such a _raging_ _bitch_ sometimes, it had something to do with the impressive scar that ran across her torso.

“Have you eaten?” He asked, trying to maintain a friendly attitude in the face of her clear irritation. His mother had always told him that the best way to deal with unpleasant people was to be kind to them, and Shepard seemed extra unpleasant this morning.

“No. Chellick doesn’t have levo food in his apartment.”

Garrus seriously doubted that. Chellick had a special interest in human women, he was bound to have _something_ levo for his guests.

“I was going to get a bite to eat at this diner down the street. It’s mostly dextro food, but they make some levo versions of Palaveni food that Alenko has said are pretty good. If you wanted to…”

She let out a long, irritated sigh. “ _Why_ are you so nice? Why are you such a good little boy, Garrus? I’m being a bitch right now! And all you can do is ask me if I’m okay and if I want to get some food?”

How the hell was he supposed to answer that? “I don’t know…I guess…I thought maybe we, uh…I thought maybe we connected a little bit on that last bounty. That maybe we could be friends.” When she didn’t say anything, he shook his head. “I guess I was wrong.”

Her face softened immediately, her features more delicate than he had ever seen them.

“No. No, you weren’t wrong, Garrus. I’m sorry. Last night was just…a mess, and I’m tired and a little hungover.” The elevator door opened and they stepped out into the lobby. “Look, let’s take a raincheck on breakfast, okay? I want to go home and clean myself up, but…maybe some other time, all right?”

He smiled. “Sure. Get home safe.”

All in all, the encounter could have gone worse.

He let her go, waiting in the lobby for a few minutes to avoid making it awkward. Once she was out of sight, he headed for the door, pushed it open, and heard Chellick’s voice sounding from the other side of the lobby.

“Garrus!”

Spirits, he hoped he wasn’t about to get caught in the middle of some argument between Chellick and Shepard and their weird, fucked up relationship. He hovered in the doorway, waiting for Chellick to cross the lobby and meet him.

“I was just going to get some breakfast, so…” Garrus’ stomach was still rumbling and he didn’t want to spend twenty minutes standing in the lobby if Chellick wanted to have a conversation.

“Going to Taste of Palaven? I could eat, I’ll come with you.” He looked around when they stepped outside. “Did you see Shepard this morning?”

The Spirits clearly weren’t listening to his plea.

“She left a few minutes ago.”

Chellick’s subharmonics vibrated at an irritated frequency, but he didn’t say anything else. Garrus set the pace, eager to get to the restaurant and order some food, and Chellick kept up pretty well considering he looked almost as rough as Shepard had.

After a few minutes of walking in the mid-morning crowds, they reached the restaurant and shuffled into a booth in the back corner of the packed building. The crowd was mostly turian, considering the cuisine, but a few asari and quarians could be seen scattered around the room. Garrus pulled open a menu and pretended to read it with interest while Chellick stared moodily out the window.

“Garrus, can I ask you a question?”

No, thanks. “Sure, Chellick.” He didn’t look up from his menu.

“What do you think of Shepard?”

“She’s kind of scary, and mean,” He said honestly. “But I could see where she might have a soft side too. She’s growing on me I guess, when she’s not yelling at me.”

“Scary and mean,” Chellick laughed humorlessly.

Before he could say anything more, the waitress arrived to take their order. Neither of them really _needed_ the menu: it was a popular spot for any turian in the ward and they had been there plenty of times. They placed their orders and the waitress exchanged their menus with a pot of coffee and two mugs. Chellick poured himself some of the hot liquid and sipped at it slowly.

Garrus had never had the utmost professional relationship with Chellick; he was too laid back as a captain and it had been easy enough to grow to like him. Now he was wishing the captain wasn’t quite so comfortable with him. It would have been awkward enough to field questions from Chellick about a woman without it being Shepard, who he also unofficially worked with.

“What about her looks?” Chellick asked suddenly, after a period of prolonged silence.

“Chellick?”

“Shepard. Do you think she’s attractive?”

Garrus had never given it any thought. He wasn’t particularly interested in humans like Chellick was, but Shepard was certainly unique as far as humans went. Her body was soft, but her personality gave her a lot of hard edges. And she was faster and more toned than any human woman he’d met, even most of the ones at C-sec. Her scars certainly showed what she was capable of surviving; he didn’t doubt she could have taken on a turian in hand-to-hand combat and walked out alive after he’d seen that giant scar of hers. Shepard was abrasive and frustrating, but now that he understood where some of it came from, now that he had seen a little bit of her better side, he could maybe understand why Chellick was attracted to her. He _did_ like all those strange freckles that dotted her face.

His prolonged silence while he considered Chellick’s question was apparently not reassuring.

“It’s not a difficult question, Garrus.” He said bitterly.

“I’ve never considered her that way,” Garrus finally answered. “I guess I could see what _you_ see in her.” He stared at Chellick for a minute, wondering what all this questioning was about. “Not to be rude, but these seem like questions a jealous boyfriend would ask.”

Chellick snorted in derision. “No. I’m sorry. I was just gauging whether she’s worth the frustration.”

“You two had an argument last night, or…?” He didn’t understand whatever it was they had together, all he knew was that involved a _lot_ of sex.

“You don’t want to hear about it.” He took a long sip of his coffee.

No, he didn’t want to hear about it, at least Chellick had mercifully realized that. Garrus poured himself some coffee and lifted it to his mouth when Chellick spoke again.

“She said someone else’s name when we were having sex!” He growled.

Garrus nearly dropped his mug in alarm. He set it down carefully and sighed. “What?”

“Look, I’m not trying to pretend it’s anything more than sex between us, but it’s not exactly great on my ego when I’m doing what I think is really a pretty good job and suddenly she’s yelling someone else’s name. You ever had a girl do that to you?”

Garrus found himself wishing he had stayed home and eaten something there.

“Er…no, Chellick. I’m sorry.”

Chellick’s mandibles twitched. “Yeah, _you_ _wouldn’t_.”

“No offense, but if you’ve known her for so long, why don’t you just talk to her about it?” Garrus had been raised to talk things out when he was feeling a strong emotion, a distinctly un-turian quality. Most turians preferred to tamp down emotional matters and deal with them through physical acts: aggression or sex, it didn’t really matter. Garrus’ father had always been a very composed man, and it was difficult to ever catch him letting his emotions get the better of him; he was the one who had impressed upon Garrus the importance of discussing emotions in a rational manner, dealing with them before they could become problematic.

‘You said _this_ and it made me feel _that_.’

“I did talk to her,” Chellick snorted.

There was apparently not going to be a quick end to the conversation, so Garrus realized he may as well embrace it. He hadn’t exactly anticipated doling out relationship advice to his captain, or having to hear details about his sex life…with Shepard.

“What did you say to her?”

Chellick’s mandibles flared and he stared at his coffee with interest.

“Chellick?”

“I told her I was pissed and she should let me be angry and then we went to sleep and when I woke up she was gone.”

Garrus groaned. “That’s not a conversation. Are you…er…jealous of this other guy? Do you know him?”

“ _No_.” Chellick said quickly. “I don’t know who it is. And I’m not jealous. It’s just like I said…it’s bad on a guy’s ego.”

“Well what did she say when it happened?”

“She kept apologizing. I think she really meant it,” he sighed. “Maybe I was too mean.”

The waitress showed up with their food and Garrus was thankful for a distraction from the conversation. He ate voraciously, but Chellick picked at his food moodily; clearly he was really bothered by the events of the previous night. No wonder Shepard had said it had been awkward.

Chellick barely ate half his food before he stood up and tapped on his omni-tool. “I’m sorry I bugged you, Garrus. You didn’t deserve to get pulled into that conversation. I’m going to go home and clean myself up.”

“It’s okay, Chellick.” Was it okay? Had he really wanted to think about Chellick and Shepard having sex? After he had seen them doing just that in Chellick’s office? Besides that the conversation had put into his mind the consideration of Shepard’s attractiveness, which was now bouncing around in his thoughts uncomfortably.

When Garrus was alone, he sat picking at the remainder of his food for a few minutes before he decided, against this better judgment, to message Shepard. He wasn’t sure what compelled him to do it, maybe a desire to win some of her trust. What he was going to tell her certainly came at the expense of losing Chellick’s trust if she said anything to him.

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][9:42]: Feeling better?_

He didn’t expect a reply anytime soon, it had only been about an hour since they’d parted ways, so he was surprised when his omni-tool pinged less than a minute later.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][9:42]: No. Haven’t even showered yet. Can’t get off the couch. Krogan’s taking a shit in the bathroom…it’s a warzone._

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][9:42]: Pleasant image Shepard._

A few minutes passed before she responded.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][9:46]: How was breakfast?_

He sent her an image of his empty plate in response.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][9:46]: Second plate in the background? You eating for two, Garrus?_

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][9:46]: Chellick had breakfast with me._

Nearly ten minutes passed with no response. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned Chellick at all. Either he had to commit to telling her about the conversation and risk it all blowing up in his face, or he had to change the topic entirely.

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][9:56]: He was pretty upset. Kept asking me a bunch of questions…may have let slip that you said someone else’s name in bed…_

Her response to the second message was immediate.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][9:56]: HE FUCKING WHAT?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][9:56]: WHAT?!?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][9:56]: ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME GARRUS?_

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][9:57]: Don’t shoot the messenger Shepard. He just seemed upset about it but it didn’t seem like something_ I _needed to know. Now I feel like a jerk…I shouldn’t have told you. Chellick will be mad at me._

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][9:57]: I won’t tell Chellick. How much did he say?_

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][9:58]: He wasn’t describing anything in explicit detail or anything like that…he just said you said someone else’s name and he didn’t know who it was and it ‘wasn’t about jealousy it just hurt his ego’_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][9:59]: Fuck Chellick’s ego. He shouldn’t have said anything to you._

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][9:59]: But thanks for telling me._

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][10:00]: Second bathroom opened up. Talk later._

* * *

 

Shepard was absolutely fuming as she gathered up her pile of clean clothes and stormed into the bathroom, dropping them on top of the closed hamper and running the shower water to let it warm up. Where the fuck did Chellick get off telling Garrus anything about their sex life? And to tell him she had said someone else’s name? To tell _HIM_ of all people. Sure, he hadn’t said _whose_ name she’d screamed, but it was still pretty fucking twisted to sit there telling Garrus fucking Vakarian that she had called out the wrong name and just casually hide that, oh by the way, it was Garrus’ name she’d mindlessly moaned during the peak of her orgasm.

When she stepped into the shower, the water scalded her skin, but she just stood there, suffering through the discomfort until her body adjusted. There were too many thoughts racing through her head to even focus on one. She felt truly, horrendously awful for moaning Garrus’ name during what really was some of the best sex she’d ever had with Chellick; she felt worse because even after it had happened she couldn’t get Garrus out of her fucking mind. Now she was angry with Chellick for discussing their sex life with Garrus, feeling like she wasn’t allowed to be angry because she was the one who had upset him first, and all the while _Garrus Vakarian_ was bouncing around the back of her mind.

She couldn’t act on it; she had to keep telling herself that. They worked together, they had agreed it would be strictly professional, agreed it wouldn’t be like her relationship with Chellick (which was a whole other can of worms at the moment), besides that he was Castis Vakarian’s son.

No, acting on it would be incredibly stupid, to say nothing of the fact that it was pretty arrogant of her to even assume he would be interested. Garrus, who had shown no prior interest in humans, had never so much as looked at her sideways. Maybe _that_ would be her saving grace: Garrus wasn’t interested in her.

Shepard was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn’t hear the bathroom door open or realize someone was standing on the other side of the shower until she heard the distinct sound of a urine stream hitting the ceramic bowl of the toilet.

She ducked her head out from behind the shower curtain and found Zaeed taking a piss.

“What the fuck, Zaeed? I’m in here!”

“Wrex is still shitting in the other bathroom and I had to go!” He turned to face her. “You like what you see, Shepard?”

“You fucking wish, Zaeed. You couldn’t handle me. Hurry up and get out.” She ducked back behind the curtain. “And don’t flu-“

Before she could finish her statement, Zaeed had finished and flushed the toilet. The shower water turned ice cold, pelting against her back and causing her to jump into the corner to avoid it until the toilet bowl finished refilling.

“FUCK YOU, ZAEED!”

“Sorry, Shepard.”

When the water finally heated back up, she resumed standing beneath it and lathered some shampoo into her hair, returning to her racing thoughts unwillingly. The only thing that forced Garrus out of her mind was thinking about how damn _giving_ Chellick had been lately. And affectionate. His subharmonics had fucking _purred_ after he’d finished fucking her on his desk a few weeks ago. Whatever it meant, it was just as unpleasant as thinking about Garrus.

She began to rinse the shampoo from her hair when another intruder barged into the bathroom.

“Who’s in here?” The shower curtain drew back with a yank to reveal Jack, half naked, staring at Shepard. She grinned. “Hey, Shepard. Want me to join you?”

“Do you mind, Jack?” Shepard groaned.

Her body was nothing Jack hadn’t seen before. She had met Jack for the first time at a bar, and brought her home for a one-night stand. It was the only time they’d ever slept together, and it had been enough to last a lifetime for Shepard. Jack was as wild and aggressive in bed as she was on a hunt.

Jack closed the curtain and she heard her rummaging through the medicine cabinet.

“So I heard you wound up going home with Chellick last night,” she said.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I almost went home with that Lawson chick. _God_ she was fucking hot. Her tits were like…I could just bury my face in those things and live there for the rest of my life.” Jack let out a long sigh.

“I saw her go after you. What happened?” Shepard was eager for a distraction from her thoughts and intensely curious about the events of the previous night.

“Basically nothing. We swapped spit for a few minutes in the bathroom and I finger fucked her. I didn’t even get her to cum before she decided she’d made a mistake and left. I’m considering shooting up the station just so she can interrogate me. Maybe you can put in a good worth with Chellick. I’d saw off my leg to touch her again.”

“Sounds serious, Jack,” Shepard laughed.

“I mean, I could fuck whoever, but she’s just…she’s fucking arrogant but she’s also fucking hot.”

“Well, maybe I’ll mention it to Chellick.” If she ever spoke to him again. “I don’t think she’s very fond of him though, so I don’t know how much pull he has with her.”

“I think I’m in love, Shepard.”

“I think you’re confusing love with arousal, Jack.”

“Ah, what would you know about it?”

“Could I get some fucking privacy in this bathroom maybe?” Shepard asked.

“You’re the one who brought us all under one roof, this is your fault.”

She couldn’t argue with that logic, but sometimes living with six people in a crowded little apartment, sharing a tiny closet of a room with Jack, never having a single moment to herself, was just a little more than she could handle.

Jack eventually left, finding whatever it was she was looking for in the medicine cabinet, and Shepard was able to finish the remainder of her shower in peace. After she stepped out, dried off, and dressed, she examined herself in the mirror.

There were dark circles under her eyes, but at least the smeared makeup was gone. She looked hard and tired and the first annoying thought that popped into her head was: ‘God, what the fuck does Chellick even see in me?’

It certainly didn’t help the thought that Garrus would never be interested. That one, stupid thought should not have made her feel as miserable as it did; she was tired and wallowing in self-pity, that was all.

Jacob, Tali, and Thane were in the living room when she finished dressing. They were watching some turian sitcom that had a tenuous understanding of humor as far as Shepard was concerned; Thane and Tali thought it was funny, but Jacob just watched with a bemused expression.

The show was loud, but a retreat to her room wasn’t an option because when she tried, she found Jack with her fingers between her legs and a porn vid playing on her omni-tool. No fucking peace or quiet in the bounty hunter homestead.

She opted to sit outside in the hallway for a moment of quiet and realized her omni-tool was flashing, alerting her to a new message.

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:25]: Did the shower make you feel better?_

She considered not responding, just ignoring him, or replying with something _normal_ and _appropriate_ , but instead, that evil little voice in her brain that kept screaming ‘Garrus Vakarian, Garrus Vakarian, Garrus Vakarian’ forced her to type a response she _knew_ was a bad idea.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][10:36]: Thinking about me in the shower Garrus?_

God, she was so fucking stupid. What was she doing?

He responded almost immediately.

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:36]: Didn’t mean it like that_

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:36]: Get your mind out of the gutter_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][10:37]: Can’t. It lives there_

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:37]: Seriously how are you feeling?_

His annoying insistence in caring about her well-being reminded her a little too much of his father. What difference did it make to him how she was feeling? It was because he wanted to be her friend, he had said as much in the elevator. That was another enigma all on its own.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][10:37]: I’ve been better. Tired and grumpy. Roommates won’t leave me alone. Sorry I was such a bitch on the elevator. And in general._

Several seconds passed before he responded, and she felt anxious for a reply. It really was just like a dumb fucking schoolgirl crush.

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:38]: Don’t worry about it. Used to you being a bitch ;-)[_

Had he just sent her a fucking turian smiley face? She stared at the screen on her omni-tool in disbelief.

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:38]: Sorry I was joking_

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:38]: It’s me smiling_

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:38]: ;-)[ See? Mandibles._

God dammit, it was the stupidest fucking thing she’d ever seen and she thought it was _cute_. She needed to end the conversation. How had she so quickly gone from ‘Garrus Vakarian is absolutely off limits’ to ‘I wonder what Garrus’ dick would feel like inside of me’? It was direr than that if she thought his stupid little emoticons were cute.

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:39]: Shepard?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][10:39]: >:-([ <\--Chellick_

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:39]: Ha. What are you doing now?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][10:40]: Why?_

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:40]: I have a cure for tired and grumpy. Always cheers me up anyway. Patching coordinates. Meet me in 30_

Garrus wanted to meet up somewhere in private to cheer her up? Bad idea, bad idea, _bad idea_.

The coordinates pinged to her omni-tool after a second and she brought them up on the map. It was somewhere in the lower end of the district, about seven blocks from the C-sec station. There were a lot of abandoned buildings in the area, that much Shepard knew: sometimes she met Chellick there to fuck on the rooftop of one of the crumbling old buildings. She wondered why Garrus would want her to meet him there.

And, of course, she knew she shouldn’t meet him at all. Half an hour of trying to reassure Chellick that she would never act on the sudden budding attraction for Garrus and less than fifteen hours later she was really considering meeting him alone in a seedy part of the district for some ‘cheering up’.

She was so fucking stupid.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.14][10:42]: What exactly do you have in mind here Garrus?_

_G_Vakarian[Public-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.14][10:42]: You’ll see ;-)[_

God.

Dammit.

* * *

 

Against all of her better judgment, the rational part of her brain completely shut off for the day, Shepard had decided to meet Garrus at the coordinates he’d sent her. She’d armed herself with her pistol and left the house without a word to her roommates, the coordinates leading a short forty-minute walk away.

Shepard had barely slept the night before, tossing and turning next to Chellick, wanting to force his forgiveness out of him sooner than she had a right. She hadn’t actually _said_ anything once he’d told her he just needed to be angry about it, but she had considered saying something several times. The entire situation had been incredibly frustrating because when she tried to just _leave,_ he told her it was too late and she was too buzzed and her apartment was too far away so she might as well just stay.

So she had slept on his hard, uncomfortable couch; or tried to.

Her walk to the coordinates was reminding her of how tired she was.

When she arrived at the destination, her heart jumped into her throat and she could hear the blood pumping in her ears. The coordinates had led her to the nearly block-long building where Chellick regularly met her to have sex. Her mind started racing and leaping to conclusions far too bold and hopeful to make.

_Get a fucking grip, Shepard._

She stepped into the dilapidated building, over boards barring the door, and made her way up a familiar crumbling staircase, all the way up ten flights to the roof. This particular building stood higher than most of the other structures around it, which was why Chellick had always liked it as a place to meet; there was no one who could look onto the roof from above, which made it fairly private. Shepard had always suspected he wasn’t the only C-sec officer to utilize the roof: there was a ratty couch that was still too nice to have been left by the previous tenants of the building, as though it had been put there deliberately, and there were some discarded C-sec issue security mechs that were always scattered at the north end of the roof with bullet-shaped dents in their chassis.

Shepard found Garrus on the torn-up couch with one of the mechs in his lap, tinkering with its interface. He was unusually dressed down in a tank top and exercise pants, his muscular arms on full display. He looked up when he heard her footsteps and his mandibles flicked into a smile.

Castis Vakarian was personally to blame for this gorgeous creature sitting there smiling at her, and in that moment, she hated him for it.

“Hey, Shepard. You’re looking better.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “What are you doing?”

Garrus shrugged. “A bunch of the officers use this space to take breaks during long shifts. These security mechs are great for target practice because you can program them to move however you want and then just shut them down when you’re not using them. I’m just programming it to the settings I like.”

Probably better not to tell Garrus that she and Chellick had fucked, multiple times, on the very couch he was sitting on.

She took a step closer to the couch. “You brought me here for target practice?”

“Yeah.” He didn’t look up from his work. “Shooting at things always makes me feel better. I thought you’d be the same. Oh, and I brought you this.” He reached down and lifted up a large metal thermos, holding it out to her.

She unscrewed the top and immediately smelled the warm, comforting aroma of coffee. The thermos had an odd little spout fit to the shape of a turian mouth.

“You brought me coffee?” She laughed.

“You said you were tired.”

She took a seat on the couch, curling her legs up to put some space between them. “So coffee and shooting at stuff. You’re a guy after my own heart, Vakarian.”

The security mech sprang to life and walked clumsily to the far end of the building per whatever protocol Garrus had given it. While it walked away, Garrus reached into a bag by his feet and pulled out a gorgeous Rosenkov M-97 Viper sniper rifle, well-polished and gleaming in the light from the surrounding ward.

“Garrus, that’s the most beautiful gun I’ve ever seen,” Shepard said, sincerely. It was also one of the most expensive guns she’d ever seen; it easily cost a cool million credits, certainly far beyond the constraints of Garrus’ salary…but not beyond his father’s.

Garrus cradled the rifle affectionately. “I don’t bring this out for just anybody,” he told her. “It’s my baby.”

“Did daddy buy you that?” She raised her eyebrows.

His mandibles pinched against his face. “…Maybe.”

“Must be nice. I’ve had to patch this pistol of mine to hell just to keep it functioning because I can’t spare the cash for a new one. I’d _like_ a heavy pistol but…that’s a pipe dream. I’m guessing I don’t get to hold the Viper?” She nodded at the gun.

“Have you ever handled a sniper rifle?” He narrowed his eyes.

“Well they aren’t exactly my specialty, but I know how to handle one.”

He stood up and took a few steps away from the couch. “I’ll show you how it’s done.”

He winked and she could have fucking killed him for having the nerve to look like that. He lined up a shot in the scope, the muscles on his arms twitching ever-so-slightly as he adjusted his position. The mech at the other end of the roof wobbled around; it had clearly been hit one too many times.

Garrus fired a concussive shot, smacking the mech right in the middle of its chest and knocking it to the ground. He smiled, clearly pleased with himself, and turned to face Shepard.

“Not saying you don’t know how to handle a gun, Shepard, but _I_ know how to make it dance.”

She sipped at the coffee he’d brought her and waited a minute to respond.

“You’ve seen me in action, Garrus, you might want to be careful before you talk smack.”

“Yeah, but I also had to see you dancing last night.” He laughed and lined up another shot as the mech pushed itself to its feet. “No comment.”

“I hardly think grinding my ass against a drell counts as dancing.” She rolled her eyes.

He fired off another well-placed shot, holding the gun at his side when he finished.

“I guess I could let you hold her…”

“Her, huh? Did you name it, Garrus? Do you kiss it goodnight before you go to sleep?” She hurried to her feet, eager to even touch a gun that cost more than a year’s worth of bounties for her.

Garrus wouldn’t loosen his grip on the rifle when she tried to take it from him. She had to physically pry his fingers away from the grip before she was able to get a hold on it, and his subharmonics made a pathetic little whimpering sound as she removed the gun from his hand.

“Be _careful_!” He warned.

“Are you trying to cheer me up or not?” She leveled the rifle to look through the scope.

“Well, I figured just bathing in her beautiful glow would cheer you up.”

It _was_ a beautiful rifle; its frame was made of a lightweight, but sturdy metal alloy and coated in the finest chrome finish she’d ever seen. Of course, it was still a sniper rifle, and still far heavier than the pistol she was used to handling, and it had been quite a few years since she’d carried an assault rifle, so the weight of the Viper surprised her all the same.

Her arms stuttered as she brought the rifle up to her shoulder, just enough of a lapse in movement that Garrus took it as a risk and lurched forward to correct her before she dropped his beautiful, expensive gun. His hands grabbed her arms and just that tiny touch sent an almost-orgasmic shock through her body.

Fucking absurd, practically creaming herself from one touch.

“I wasn’t going to drop it,” She barked.

“I saw your arms falter. It’s heavier than it looks.”

“Just let me fire one shot and then you can have your baby back, Garrus. I won’t break her.” She lifted the gun up with a sturdier grasp while he hovered unsurely behind her. “You can trust me, all right?”

“Can I?” He took a tentative step away from her.

“Only if I can trust you.”

“Sure you can trust me, Shepard.”

“Then sit on the edge of the wall until I’m done shooting!”

He stayed where he was with his arms crossed.

“Guess I can’t trust you,” She laughed.

“No, I just don’t like being told what to do.”

_‘I’ve got a son who’s more stubborn than a krogan’_

Shepard lined up the crosshairs of the scope with the clumsy mech at the far end of the roof. Her arms _were_ a little unsteady, which made it hard to really line up the shot before the mech wobbled out of place. She was much better with a pistol or an assault rifle than this unwieldy, deadly thing.

She took the shot and just barely hit the side of the mech, not even knocking it down.

“Not bad,” Garrus commended her without a hint of sarcasm.

She handed the rifle over to him and took a seat back on the couch, bringing the warm thermos back against her lips to sip at the coffee; whatever he’d made tasted a hell of a lot better than the swill in her apartment.

“You don’t have to be nice to me because I’m in a bad mood, Garrus. It was a lousy shot.” She told him.

He knelt down and played with the settings on the rifle. “I wasn’t being nice. It took me years of training to learn how to fire one of these things with any amount of accuracy or precision. Half of the days, I just sat holding and aiming it to get used to the weight; never even fired a shot. For someone who hasn’t spent their entire life training with a sniper rifle, clipping the side of a wobbling mech is pretty damn good.”

Her chest warmed at the compliment. She stared into the thermos rather than address his praise.

Apparently not happy with whatever modifications he had tried to make to his rifle’s settings, Garrus sat down fully on the ground, leaning against the couch, the tip of his fringe nearly brushing against her leg. She watched him while she sipped at the coffee, which wasn’t working quickly enough to combat her growing fatigue.

“So,” she said. “You had fun last night, hm?” She wasn’t sure why she brought it up; it still caused an ugly flare of jealousy, but she was eager to talk about _anything_ with him. She had hardly imagined she’d want to willingly spend time with him when they’d first met and now she was sitting there practically scribbling his name in hearts in her mind.

_Pathetic, Shepard…truly fucking pathetic._

Garrus laughed. “Yeah, she was all right.”

“Just all right?”

“You really want to talk about it?” He cocked his head and looked sideways at her.

“Why not? You had to suffer through Chellick’s little chat this morning.” She cringed at the thought of it.

He shrugged. “Fair enough. Well, we were both buzzed, so it’s never that fun when you’ve been drinking. And it takes a thousand years to get a girl’s plates open when she’s had any alcohol. It almost didn’t happen.”

“Turian women have pelvic plates?” Shepard realized she knew remarkably little about female turians or their anatomy. She hadn’t had a lot of interaction with them; Dr. Velaxis had been one of the only ones she’d really ever spent any time with.

Garrus snorted. “Yeah, Shepard.”

“I guess that makes sense. I just had never thought about it.”

“So…” He said as he prodded at the settings on the side of his gun. “You said someone else’s name in bed, huh?” He turned to look at her and raised his brow plates.

Fuck him and his gorgeous blue eyes.

An uncomfortable warmth spread up her neck into her face. “I don’t want to talk about it! I was tipsy and it was a stupid mistake. I felt fucking awful about it, and of course Chellick refused to have a conversation once it had happened. He was so pissed…”

“Shepard…can I ask you something?”

“I’m not saying whose name I said. You don’t know him anyway,” She lied.

“Not that.” He shook his head. “You and Chellick…you know each other really well, don’t you? It just seems like there’s more to the two of you than just a past history of arrests and favors.” He started to say more and then stopped himself. “Sorry, I know you don’t like talking about your past.”

She sighed. “It’s fine, Garrus. Chellick and I just…maybe it’s a little more complicated than a simple exchange of favors. We’ve known each other a long time.”

The truth was, Chellick was her friend, as loathe as she often was to admit it, and as needlessly cruel as she could sometimes be to him. The only two people who really intimately knew all of the details of what Nihlus had done to her, of what she had been through, were Chellick and Castis. And she hadn’t spoken to Castis in over four years.

She could see how, from Garrus’ perspective, her relationship with Chellick might seem complicated, perhaps to the point of romantic, but it wasn’t, hadn’t been. Something had certainly changed in the year they’d spent apart, but she didn’t care to dwell on it.

Quite frankly, she took advantage of Chellick. But he let her do it, for some reason; maybe because he was the only person still in her life who had seen her better side.

“Are you, uh…are you in love with him?” Garrus’ mandibles flared with embarrassment as he asked the question.

She snorted. “Definitely fucking not. He is my friend though. Maybe not the healthiest friendship.”

He relaxed a little and set his gun in his lap. “Well, no offense, but I’d rather not have to hear him complain about your sex life again, if you wanted to let him know that so I don’t have to.”

Shepard flicked the edge of his fringe and he jumped in surprise.

“Yeah, I’ll say something to him.” She sidled down into the couch until she was laying along the length of it, then rested the thermos on the ground. “Hey Garrus?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks for cheering me up. I know I’ve been kind of abrasive with you…”

“Kind of?” He laughed.

“My point is…I did agree with what you said in the elevator. We did have a…I dunno, a connection on that last run. I’m not very good at making friends and I make it hard to be around me sometimes, but…I want to be your friend.” She closed her eyes as she spoke. She meant what she said, without secondary thought of her attraction to him; she was finding that she genuinely liked his company, that he had somehow weaseled his way into her good graces by just existing and being a nice person.

Just like his fucking dad.

She hoped it didn’t turn out as terribly as it had with Castis.

* * *

 

**2178  
** **Huerta Memorial Hospital  
** **September 2** nd

Shepard was having a fucking miserable day.

Dr. Velaxis had spent the whole morning forcing her to do exercises that made it feel like her insides were being torn apart all over again: lifting herself from the bed using the little bar that hung above it, attempting to walk along the hall with the walker, walking herself from the bed to the bathroom and back.

The only thing that gave her any real will to move was the thought of getting her fucking catheter out. And the promise that once she could walk to the bathroom on her own, they would start giving her solid food to try, instead of the shit she’d been drinking through a straw since they’d switched her from IV nutrients.

By the time it was midday, all of Shepard’s energy had been sapped. She was allowed to return to her bed, where she tried to sleep. Unfortunately, she’d been granted no reprieve from the horror that was her new life; nearly every time she tried to sleep, she had nightmares about the attack that sent her into a state of sleep paralysis ten times worse than the nightmares. She would lay still, half-dreaming, half-hallucinating that Nihlus was on top of her, dragging his knife into her chest, tearing apart her insides.

It always forced her up with a scream.

This time, when she awoke in a cold sweat, attempting to scream but only letting out a half-strangled moan, she felt a warm hand on her forehead and heard the soft, gentle harmonization of subvocals shushing her into a calmer state.

Castis stood above her, squeezing her hand softly. “It’s all right, Jane, it was only a bad dream.”

Her heart rate returned to normal and she tried to push herself into a seated position, but she was just too tired, so she let the mechanical bed do it for her. Castis let go of her hand and took a seat in the chair next to her bed. The past few weeks, he had been by to visit nearly every day, the only comfort in her thoroughly depressing routine.

“I keep thinking he’s here…” She told him. “When I sleep all I do is dream about what happened.”

“You went through a traumatic ordeal, Jane. Have they brought a psychologist by to talk to you? I think you might be experiencing post-traumatic stress.” Castis’ mandibles twitched and his brow plate shifted. “It’s irresponsible of them not to…”

“I don’t like talking to her,” Shepard interrupted. “She’s this old asari who thinks she knows everything because she’s been around for a thousand years. It wasn’t helpful so I told them to stop sending her.”

“There’s more than one psychologist on the entire Citadel.”

As much as she knew Castis’ was right, she wasn’t ready to talk to a psychologist yet, and until she was the entire exercise would just be pointless. She was about to tell him as much when another familiar turian stepped into the doorway, knocking softly against the doorframe.

“Detective Laratus,” Castis greeted him. “What brings you by?”

Chellick glanced unsurely at Shepard. “An update to the case, sir. You may want to take a look at the evidence I gathered.”

“What is it?” Shepard demanded. “Did you find something that will pin him?”

Castis rose to his feet. “You wait here a moment, Jane. I have to discuss this with detective Laratus.”

The two turians left the room, leaving Shepard fuming. The whole investigation had a hell of a lot to do with her, she was their _star witness_ , and they were hiding evidence from her. She recognized that she didn’t actually have a right to any of the information, that Castis’ constant presence in her hospital room was likely an overstepping of his boundaries as lead investigator on the case, that she wasn’t part of C-sec and not privy to the details of their investigation.

She didn’t have long to be upset before Castis and Chellick returned. Castis sat back down next to her bed and Chellick hovered a few feet away.

“Tell her, Chellick.”

“Uh…lieutenant Shepard…” Chellick looked at his omni-tool with interest. “We found direct evidence tying the trafficking ring in Bachjret to the ring on Elysium; logs buried under seven levels of encryption on darknet channels. We were also able to uncover footage from a remote security drone on Elysium…”

Shepard’s heart was pounding in her ears. “Let me see it.”

“No, Jane.” Castis shook his head. “They’ll show it at the trial. You don’t need to be forced to see it more than once.”

“Let me see it, Chellick,” Shepard said again, ignoring Castis. The poor detective looked between his superior and Shepard, clearly undecided as to who he was more afraid of.

Shepard yanked herself up using the bar above her bed, swinging her legs around the side of the bed and forcing herself to stand; pure adrenaline was the only thing that kept her moving, every muscle in her torso screaming at the effort.

Chellick took a step backward in alarm and Castis quickly intervened. With one gentle push of his hand, Shepard was seated in her bed again. He had barely exerted any effort to stop her, but her body was too weak to resist. A few months ago, she had been a hardened Alliance lieutenant, capable of taking down half an enemy squadron on her own; now she was crippled and weak and might never fight again.

Unexpected tears sprung to her cheeks as she lay back against her pillows. She had spent plenty of time half-naked in front of both men, and both had seen what she’d been through. She shouldn’t have been embarrassed by tears, yet she still was. How weak she must look to them.

“You don’t want to see it, Shepard,” Chellick said, attempting to sound comforting. “It’s…it’s…” His mandibles twitched. “It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life. And I’ve seen some pretty terrible stuff in Bachjret.”

Castis grabbed Shepard’s hand and softly patted the top of it. “This is the evidence we need to convict Nihlus. Once we present this to the Council, they’ll strip him of his Spectre status and send another Spectre or two out after him. This is it for him, Jane.”

The thought of Nihlus being brought to justice for what he had done only made her cry harder. Stripping him of Spectre status was a start, but how would they ever find him? He had disappeared from all contact since the rumors had started swirling that he’d been behind the attack on Elysium.

All the while Shepard had been the subject of speculation on the news.

The Third Officer.

The Lone Survivor.

Rotting in a prison cell for the rest of his life wouldn’t undo what Nihlus had done. He deserved to die.

“Jane. The Council may want to speak to you directly. They’ll still want a full trial.” Castis forced Shepard out of her dark thoughts. “Will you be ready for that? Will you be up to it?”

“I’ll tell them whatever they want to know.” She wiped her face with the back of her hand. “I want this to be over.”

Of course, it would never be over. She would always have to live with what had happened. She could lie in that hospital bed and let it consume her, or she could weld her pain into a sword and shield and protect herself from ever going through that hell again.

She knew which option suited her.

* * *

 

**The playlist has been updated and[can be found here!](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Garrus are becoming friends :) !!! Thanks to all who've been reading and commenting, your comments seriously mean a ton to me and I'm so glad people are enjoying the story! I'm trying to stick to a weekly posting schedule, however, I'm moving next week and probably won't have reliable internet access, so I'll try to post an update when I do, but it might not be until next Friday. Thanks again for reading!


	9. The Space Between

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **May 20** th

The district 42 C-sec station had been suspiciously quiet for the last week; few arrests had been made, petty crimes were few and far between, and no major breaks had been made in any cases. Perhaps most importantly, no one from Shepard’s crew had wreaked any havoc in the area, and if they had been up to anything, Chellick hadn’t gotten wind of it.

Garrus had been assigned to pore over transcripts from the interrogation of the volus that was tied to the big drug supplier that no one knew a thing about. He’d had a lot to say, but most of it was lies, each more ridiculous than the last, leading to dead ends that were evident from a little research, without Garrus ever needing to leave his desk to figure as much out.

Extranet research and transcript recall wasn’t exactly the most exciting use of his time. Unfortunately, the bounty hits his software had been turning up weren’t worth his or Shepard’s time either; it seemed that most of the bounties being placed in the last week violated her personal code of ethics. He figured she would reach out to him if she was desperate enough for the money, but he felt pretty confident that a thousand-credit bounty for a target that would take hours to obtain was something she’d pass on, so he didn’t offer.

In an odd role reversal, Shepard had been incredibly pleasant to talk to lately and Chellick had been a raging nightmare. Shepard had been sending Garrus messages periodically during the day, poking fun at him or asking if he had any juicy updates on cases. She'd asked him once about Officer Lawson too, but when he said that he wasn’t very close with her, she’d refused to tell him why she’d asked in the first place. Meanwhile, Chellick had been barking orders each morning and then barricading himself in his office, getting short with officers in the breakroom, apologizing, then doing it all over again the next day.

Garrus had spent most of his time steering clear of the captain, but by the end of the week his attitude was having an effect on the entire department; Alenko and Williams spent an entire hour complaining about him in the office, something Garrus had never heard them do before. He felt it was obvious what was irritating Chellick, and though he hadn’t asked Shepard, he had a feeling she and the captain hadn’t spoken since their awkward night together.

“Any leads from the volus, Vakarian?” Chellick demanded.

Garrus hadn’t even noticed him standing in the doorway to the office, and when he heard his voice unexpectedly, it made him jump. Chellick wore a sour expression when he looked up to meet his gaze.

“Nothing yet, sir.”

“Fucking perfect.” The captain’s subharmonics snarled as he stormed away, back to his office.

Garrus brought up his omni-tool once Chellick was out of sight and began typing a message to Shepard. He certainly never thought he’d be begging Shepard to have sex with Chellick, but something had to be done about his attitude.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][14:55]: >:([_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][14:56]: That Chellick or are you pissed about something?_

Lately, Shepard had been in the habit of responding quickly to his messages; he took it as a sign that she really meant what she had said up on the roof when he’d tried to cheer her up: she wanted to be friends.

It made her a little less scary.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][14:56]: Both. Why haven’t you made up with him yet? He’s been miserable this week and I’m pretty sure it’s because of you_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][14:56]: Tell him to pull the pole out of his ass and respond to my messages then_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][14:57]: Did I ever explicitly ask to not be in the middle of your weird sex exchange? Because I’m officially asking now_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][14:57]: I bet if you asked Chellick he’d let you be in the middle ;-)_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][14:57]: ;-)[_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][14:58]: Yeah you’d like that wouldn’t you?_

Sometimes Garrus wondered about the messages he and Shepard had been sending each other over the past week. They would veer into dangerously flirtatious territory, sometimes led by her, sometimes by him, but he wasn’t quite aware he was doing it until it was happening, and it was always hard to read subtext over a message.

He _had_ spent a little time considering Chellick’s question about Shepard’s looks. He still wasn’t convinced on humans, but Shepard softening up over the last week had possibly had some impact on his opinion of her. He tried not to think about it too much; she certainly wasn’t a turian.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][14:58]: Two turians at the same time? I think I would literally die. Pass_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][14:58]: Seriously though, you need to come talk to him. If he won’t respond to your messages then just come down to the station! It’s been pretty quiet around here and he’s been in a bad mood all week_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][14:58]: Just hang out at the C-sec station of my own accord?_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][14:59]: Hey maybe soon all of the officers will like you so much you’ll never get arrested again_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][14:59]: Bad news for Chellick_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][15:00]: Okay so come down and break something. Then he has to arrest you_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][15:02]: Can I bring some company?_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][15:02]: What?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][15:10]: Warn Chellick that Jack is coming. See you soon._

Garrus had met Jack briefly the night they’d seen Shepard out at the club; she was even more intimidating than Shepard, and very small. He knew that she’d wreaked havoc a few weeks earlier when Alenko had brought her in, so he couldn’t imagine that Chellick would be happy to hear she was coming with Shepard. And the last thing Garrus wanted to do was deliver bad news to the captain.

He supposed it would have to be done.

It took him several minutes to will himself to get up and talk to Chellick. His door was closed when he approached his office, so he knocked softly and immediately received a gruff reply.

“ _What?!”_

“Er…can I come in, captain?”

“It’s unlocked.”

He entered the room hesitantly to find Chellick swiping through his omni-tool screen with his mandibles pinched tight against his face; he barely looked up at Garrus’ entrance.

“What is it, Vakarian?”

“Shepard wanted me to warn you that Jack was coming…” He noticed Chellick’s mandibles twitch when he mentioned Shepard’s name, but the action was immediately overshadowed by the widening of his eyes at the prospect of Jack showing up at the station.

“Did she say _why?_ ”

Garrus’ mandibles flared. “I…told Shepard she should come by and then she said she was going to bring Jack with her and that I should warn you.”

Chellick buried his face in his hands and sighed. “She’s going to find some way to blow up half the station and I’m going to lose my job. Why the hell did you invite Shepard to the station, Garrus? This isn’t a party. We have jobs to do.”

What was he supposed to tell Chellick? ‘Well, you’ve been an enormous asshole all week, so I figured getting laid would help’?

“She wants to make up with you.” He opted for a less offensive reply.

“That’s really not your concern, Garrus.”

“No offense, captain, but you kind of made it my concern when you dragged me into the conversation last weekend!”

Chellick groaned and stood up. “Fine. Maybe we should barricade the doors…wouldn’t keep Jack out. Why the hell is Jack coming? _Spirits,_ I hate that woman. She’s just a little ball of vitriol and biotic power. You watch yourself around her if Shepard ever pulls her onto a bounty with you; she’s fucking insane.”

He stalked out of his office toward the lobby and Garrus followed.

“Why is she so crazy?” he asked, genuinely curious. He had seen her yanking painfully on Chellick’s fringe at the bar, just because she could, so he didn’t necessarily doubt what the captain was saying, but he was sure there was more to it than just that.

“She just destroys things because she can,” Chellick explained, slumping into the chair at the front desk and staring out the windows with his mandibles twitching nervously. “The first time I met her, she almost tore my fucking mandible off. And when Shepard tried to stop her, she hit her with a mass effect field that could have broken her neck. Look at her priors in the system, Garrus, she’s literally ticked off every possible crime you could think of. One time she blew up half a warehouse full of shipping containers for no _fucking_ reason…and she hates turians.”

“Why?”

Chellick stiffened a little. “It’s not really my right to tell you. Shepard told me about it once. I’m not saying she doesn’t have a right, I’m just saying she doesn’t need to fucking take it out on me. She once described in explicit detail how she scalped a turian that looked at her the wrong way: tore his fringe right off of his head with just her biotics.”

Garrus winced at the thought and touched his own fringe protectively. If Jack was so impulsive and dangerous, he wondered why Shepard trusted her; she must have done something to earn a place on Shepard’s weird little squad of bounty hunters, and to keep it.

For several minutes, Chellick leaned against the desk, tapping his foot, mandibles twitching, staring manically out the door for any sign of the tiny biotic. Garrus couldn’t say what he was expecting to happen when she showed up, but he certainly seemed nervous.

Mercifully, no incident came. When Shepard eventually showed up, Jack was at her side, as was a quarian in a purple enviro-suit, but none of them caused any damage as they entered. Chellick was tense as they approached.

“Give me your thermal clips. C-sec policy,” he barked.

“Fuck off, Chellick,” Jack greeted him.

“ _What_ is going on, Shepard?” Chellick turned his attention to her. “You show up at my station with Jack and Tali? Did Garrus not tell you this isn’t a fucking club? We’re doing work here and…”

The quarian had her arms folded, her bright eyes glowing behind her helmet as she stared at Garrus. “Hm, is this Vakarian? He’s cute, Shepard.”

Garrus’ mandibles flared. “Er…”

Before he could say anything in response to the quarian’s compliment, Jack took hold of his fringe and yanked. He yelped, his subharmonics hitting an unwelcome pitch. For such a small human, she had an incredible grip strength, and the tug of her hands on his fringe was enough to make his knees buckle.

“Where’s Lawson?” she asked.

“Jesus, Jack, could you just ask him like a normal person? You don’t have to hurt him!” Shepard growled.

Jack let go and folded her arms. “Where’s Lawson?” She repeated.

Garrus pointed weakly down the hallway, thoroughly bewildered as to what was happening.

“Oh, I see now.” Chellick stood up. “Jack’s interested in Lawson so you brought her by. What do you think’s going to happen? Lawson has a little more respect and integrity than to…”

“So where’s this cute human you were telling me about, Shepard?” The quarian asked.

Chellick’s eyes blazed as he turned to look at her. “And you’re trying to set Tali up with Alenko? _Really_ , Shepard?” He growled in frustration. “You irritate the shit out of me! I could wring your fucking neck!”

Shepard patted his mandible. “But you won’t.”

“This isn’t a fucking dating service, Shepard!”

“Are your officers swamped right now, Chellick, or is this about your problems with me?” She folded her arms.

Chellick glanced around and his subharmonics hit an unhappy pitch. “Let’s continue this conversation in my office, please.”

She shrugged. “Lead the way.”

Garrus watched them go, left alone in the lobby with Tali, the quarian. She fixed him with a stare, arms folded, hip checked to one side.

“So…you’re Shepard’s tech expert?” He coughed nervously.

“You can relax,” she laughed. “You’re cute, but I’m not interested. Turians have too many sharp edges, easy to rip my suit. Shepard said I would like someone named Alenko. You want to introduce me?”

Garrus was privately relieved. He had nothing against the quarian, but he’d never understood the logistics of a romantic relationship with someone who spent their life inside a suit, besides that he felt it would have been awkward to even show interest in one of the people who worked with Shepard. He did privately agree with Chellick that this wasn’t exactly the venue for Shepard to drop her friends off for matchmaking, but he also wasn’t going to withhold Alenko’s location from Tali.

“Follow me.” He led her down the hall into the office where Alenko sat with his back to his terminal watching the door.

“Heard some commotion,” he greeted Garrus, eyes flitting to Tali with uncertainty. “What’s going on?”

“Chellick’s friends dropped by. You remember Shepard from the club?” Garrus asked.

“Oh…yeah. Didn’t we arrest her? And her biotic friend?”

“Er…yes. Complicated friendship. Anyway, this is Shepard’s friend Tali. Tali…this is Kaidan Alenko. You uh…want to show her the station, Alenko? I don’t think she has any priors.”

“ _I don’t_ ,” Tali growled.

Alenko blinked slowly at Garrus. “Show her the station?”

“Yeah. Just give her a tour.”

He stood up unsurely and offered his hand to shake Tali’s. “It’s, uh…nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Tali said, a flirtatious tone to her voice. “I’ve never been inside a C-sec station before. What kind of tech do you have?”

“Oh, you’re into tech?” Alenko seemed to relax a little. “Well, I can’t show you everything because some of it is classified, but we’ve got this great little processing core…”

He led her out of the office and Garrus found himself alone. He was honestly relieved that nothing had imploded, especially because, in retrospect, it had been stupid of him to invite Shepard down to the station at all. In his defense, though, the entire unit was suffering because of Chellick’s bad mood; he sincerely hoped Shepard was making up with him.

The only problem with his plan was that now that he was alone and the other officers were pre-occupied, he wanted a snack. He hadn’t eaten lunch, too concerned that if he took even a moment’s pause from his transcripts that Chellick might have an aneurysm. With everything settled down, his stomach was rumbling; unfortunately, however, the break room lay past Chellick’s office, and he didn’t want to overhear the captain having sex with Shepard: seeing it when he’d accidentally walked in on them had been scarring enough.

Deciding that he was an adult and could handle overhearing a few sex noises, his hunger won out over his concern, and he moved quietly along the hallway toward the break room.

He had every intention of rushing past Chellick’s office, but when he heard the sounds of Shepard and Chellick talking, rather than anything else they could have been doing, his curiosity got the better of him. He stopped outside the door and leaned against the wall to eavesdrop, recognizing that it was a complete violation of their trust to do such a thing, but too interested in what their relationship was like behind closed doors to care.

Shepard was speaking when he pressed his ear against the wall.

“Come on, Chellick, I’ve apologized a million times. What do you want me to do? I’m trying to make it up to you. I can’t undo what I did.”

“Yeah, well, you can’t just suck my dick and expect me to feel better about it,” Chellick grumbled.

“I’m not suggesting you aren’t allowed to be pissed! But you’re acting like I intentionally hurt your feelings. I know I’ve done that to you before, but I’d like to think we’ve both matured a little bit in the last year. Do you not believe that I’m sorry?”

Chellick’s subharmonics had a surprising softness to them as he spoke. “I know you’re sorry, Shepard. It’s just irritating. It’s bad enough everyone else thinks he’s so fucking good looking, now you too.”

“Chellick…” There was the unmistakable sound of kissing. “Let’s try it again, okay? Right here on your desk.” Shepard’s voice grew husky. “Make me cum, Chellick.”

Garrus was about to step away, uninterested in hearing what came next, but he caught Chellick’s response before he moved.

“Why, so you can scream Garrus’ name again?”

His mandibles flared and all the blood rushed into his head, his heartbeat pounding in his ears; he felt dizzy and leaned against the wall to steady himself. Had he misheard…maybe misunderstood?

“Jesus Christ. Would you stop? I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I said Garrus’ name instead of yours. I was buzzed, I was distracted from everything that happened at the club. It was a fucking mistake!”

No. He hadn’t misheard. His stomach knotted up and he suddenly lost his appetite. He tried to force himself to move back to the office, but his legs felt like jelly. Shepard had said _his_ name in bed with Chellick? Why? What did it mean? Why was he imagining it so vividly now?

“Yeah, but you _are_ attracted to him,” Chellick groaned.

“We’ve had this conversation already,” Shepard sighed. “I’m not going to _do_ anything about it. We work together…and he’s my friend. So he’s good looking. You know how many people I would have fucked because they were so attractive? But I didn’t because of rules or regulations or just...basic decency. I’m beginning to think you’re _jealous_ , Chellick. Why? You’re the one fucking me, not him.”

“I’m not jealous!”

“Then fucking prove it!”

Chellick’s subharmonics hit a filthy pitch and there was a sound of the contents of his desk scattering across the floor, quickly replaced with the unmistakable, uncomfortable wetness of kissing, further accentuated by Chellick’s rumbling subharmonics, audible even through the wall.

Garrus finally willed himself to move, positive he would be unable to withstand the actual sounds of Shepard moaning, considering he now couldn’t stop thinking about what it would have sounded like when she screamed his name. He slumped into his chair in the office and stared blankly at his terminal.

Up until their recent encounter on the roof, Garrus had been fairly positive that at least part of Shepard genuinely hated him. He certainly wouldn’t have ever, in a million years, guessed that she was attracted to him. It made the conversation he’d had with Chellick all the more upsetting; Chellick had asked him what he thought of Shepard, whether he thought she was attractive, because he was anxious about their relationship.

An unwelcome thought popped into Garrus’ head: what must those soft, plump lips feel like compared to a turian’s?

At least he felt confident that their flirtatious messages hadn’t all been in his head.

The entire ordeal left him feeling incredibly confused. A few weeks ago, he wouldn’t have expressed any attraction to Shepard, at least not out loud; he had certainly felt a little prick of _something_ when he watched her bring in that first bounty, or when she had been fighting the other bounty hunters in the warehouse.

He considered what she had said to him: “You turians, you’re all the same.”

Maybe she wasn’t wrong.

But even despite that, he never would have considered it any _real_ attraction before she had softened up with him; before she’d started showing him that despite her battle-hardened exterior, there was actually a decent person underneath all of the scars; before he’d seen the likely source of all of her bitterness splayed out across her torso in a thick, upraised line.

He buried his face in his hands and groaned. If Shepard could be mature enough to recognize that any possible attraction between them was a stupid idea, he could too. A few fleeting thoughts was hardly anything worth pursuing anyway. He wanted to be her friend and he liked running targets with her, he could certainly ignore some base biological impulses; he wasn’t a teenager anymore.

Chellick’s office door opened down the hall and Garrus turned around, surprised to see the two of them leaving already. Shepard’s clothes were a little disheveled, and she straightened them out as they walked. They both stopped outside the doorway to the office.

“We’ll continue this conversation later,” Chellick said before he turned and left for the lobby.

Shepard leaned against the doorframe and looked sideways at Garrus.

“What?”

He realized he was staring. He cleared his throat and forced himself to say something, “Did you make up?”

“Kind of. He got a call about a lead on that case with the volus you guys interrogated and it seemed pretty important…I think we’re okay though. Where are Jack and Tali?”

Garrus looked around the empty office. “Alenko’s giving Tali a tour of the station. Jack went to find Lawson…I’m a little worried one or both of them will be dead if I go to look. Lawson’s a pretty powerful biotic…she could maybe give your friend a run for her money.”

“Jack wants to fuck her, Garrus. She won’t use her biotics unless she’s threatened.” Shepard rolled her eyes. “So, no bounties today?”

He flicked through his omni-tool, trying to act casual despite the recent revelation that Shepard had no idea he was aware of.  “It’s just high-risk, low-payout stuff. Long stakeouts or big groups, but the bounties are all under five thousand.”

She shrugged. “I’ve got nothing else to do. Let’s go find one. A little extra cash could be fun for another night out. Maybe not with Chellick though.”

“Uh…sure, if you want to.”

“Are you okay, Garrus?” She cocked her head. “You seem upset…or distracted.”

_Be mature, Garrus, you’re an adult._

He shook his head. “No, I’m fine. Here, there’s a thousand-credit bounty for an elcor in the upper ward. He stole some documents from a lawyer…seems like it could just be a petty argument between coworkers based on the doc, but the elcor lives in a high-security condo unit, so it’s going to take a while to disable all of the cameras and alarms to get to him.”

Shepard raised her eyebrows. “You’re going to do that? Getting your hands dirty again, Vakarian?”

“Well, Tali’s occupied. Someone has to. I can do it from the car.”

“So we’re taking the cruiser again?” She grinned.

He stood up and met her in the doorway. “Yeah, I guess I’m just breaking all the rules now.”

She nudged his side with her elbow. “Good. I like that better than naïve little junior cop Garrus. Come on, let’s go. I’m driving this time.”

He followed her out, regarding her backside as she moved in front of him, suddenly aware of the curve of her hip drawing up into her thin waist; how he’d never realized how remarkably similar it was to a turian’s.

Maybe she was right about everything. Maybe he did act too young; if not for _stupid, youthful_ hormones, why else would one little moment throw his mind into a crazy tailspin like this?

He had the fleeting thought that he probably should have never sought her out for their little deal in the first place, that he should have known when he met her that his interest in her wild spirit had to have _some_ sort of unexplored undertone to it, but the thought was quickly replaced by his desire to watch her beat the living shit out of an elcor that was three times her size. 

* * *

 

 **2181  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 32  
** **February 20** th

Alcohol was the most effective medication Shepard had come to know and love since Nihlus Kryik had ripped her guts out and left her with an anxiety disorder in his wake. Sure, there was the downside that alcohol could in fact make her panic attacks more intense and severe, could induce the worst sleep paralysis she’d ever experienced, but it was easy to forget that when all she wanted was to feel _anything_ at all besides constant fucking numbness. Getting drunk with her friends made her feel good, at least temporarily, which usually felt worth it in the moment.

It was after a night of heavy self-medication that she found herself stumbling through the middle of the ward toward home, long since separated from the friends and roommates who had gone out with her. Thane would have never let her wander off alone, but he had been sick with a cold and stayed home, leaving no designated sober friend to watch after her. She had spent a few hours grinding against complete strangers, drinking far more than her liver could process, before she’d stumbled from the club without any companions, confident she could take care of herself despite the fact that she could barely walk a straight line.

As luck would have it, before she could run into something or someone with more sinister plans, she turned the corner and ran headlong into a familiar C-sec officer and three of his turian friends.

Chellick grabbed her as she stumbled into him, her legs buckling. He held her up and she threw her arms around his neck with a drunken grin.

“Chellick!”

“Spirits, how much have you had to drink, Shepard?”

She was trying to process the fact that there seemed to be two of him moving in front of her. She blinked several times in a vain attempt to restore her sobriety.

“Who’s the babe, Chellick?” One of the turians behind him asked. “She need help getting home? Cause I wouldn’t mind…”

“Fuck off Krane,” Chellick growled. “She’s drunk.”

“Chellick…” Shepard whimpered, running her tongue along his neck. “I’m so glad I ran into you.” She was hardly aware of what she was doing, except to know that sex would prolong the good feeling her inebriation had started. “Take me back to your place. Let me see that big blue cock of yours,” she whispered against his shoulder.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he muttered. “Shepard, stop it.” He peeled her mouth away from his skin with a soft yank on her hair. “You’re way too drunk.”

The turians behind him were laughing now. “Come on, Chellick. She wants to see your big blue cock,” one of them snickered.

Shepard clutched at Chellick’s shoulder and stared at the one who had spoken. He was tall, even for a turian, with red coloring and white clan markings covering his entire face in a pattern almost resembling a skull. Once she saw him, she couldn’t look away, an unwelcome rush of adrenaline flooding her system, her nails digging into Chellick’s neck.

Chellick followed her gaze and seemed to understand her reaction immediately. “Shit. Shepard, it’s okay. He’s just got Rilandini clan markings. Shepard? Hey, Shepard, come on…”

In Shepard’s fuzzy mind, there were two options: she could break down and cry in front of four turian men, three of whom were already laughing at her, or she could attack what her mind had labeled as a danger.

She made the decision quickly, launching herself forward, ready to ram her fingers into the eye sockets of the sniggering turian, but Chellick caught her around the waist and pulled her against him, rendering her attack completely ineffective.

“It’s not him, Shepard. You’re drunk and confused. You’ve got to calm down,” Chellick said as she flailed wildly in his grasp, screaming a string of curses at his friend, who only stared in disbelief.

“She fucking nuts or something, Chellick?” He asked.

One of the other turians laughed. “I don’t know, but she’s all ready for you.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Chellick growled, teeth gritted as he struggled to keep a hold on Shepard.

“She’s not wearing any underwear. Giving us a real show here.”

“I’ll kill you, you stupid fuck!” Shepard screamed. “You fucker! You ruined my life! I’ll fucking gut you! I’ll rip your fringe off!”

“Shepard!” Chellick hissed. “It’s not him!”

“What the fuck is she talking about, Chellick?” The offending turian asked.

“Just…get out of here, you guys. I’ll take care of this.”

His friends exchanged a glance and then left, eyeing Shepard unsurely as she continued to scream and kick and flail in Chellick’s arms. When they were out of sight, Shepard’s rage quickly to devolved into irrational panic.

“You let him go!” She sobbed. “You let him go, Chellick! He’s going to come back for me!” Tears sprung to her cheeks and the world spun around her. Chellick pulled her tight against him, squeezing his arms around her, her back pressed to his chest.

“You’ve got to breath, Shepard. It wasn’t Nihlus. Take a deep breath, okay? Remember how Castis taught you?”

“Don’t fucking mention Castis!”

By now her voice was hoarse and the tears were blurring her vision even worse than the alcohol already had. She couldn’t control her sobs, or the rapid, ragged breaths that shook her chest.

Chellick slumped against the wall of a nearby building, his grip still tight around her. He put one hand between her breasts where her heart was pounding a mile a minute.

“Listen to me breathe, okay? Feel my chest moving?” He took a long deep breath against her back. “Breathe with me, Shepard.”

She struggled to stop crying, to focus on his chest rising and falling against her, the protective embrace of his arms. She took a deep, shuddering breath as another sob escaped her throat.

“Good,” Chellick spoke softly. “Just like that. Another breath, come on. In and out.”

She breathed in time with him; long, slow breaths that helped to calm her. The exercise would have been more effective if she hadn’t been so drunk, but it still brought her down from the panicked state Chellick’s friend had put her in by simply having the same clan markings as Nihlus Kryik.

Castis _had_ been the one who taught her that trick, and it had almost always helped her during her worst attacks, though she found it far more effective with someone there to coach her through it. Thinking about what she had said to him the last time they spoke made her sad and self-loathing, which was the last thing she wanted at that moment.

When she had finally calmed down and stopped crying, Chellick loosened his hold on her.

“What are you doing out here by yourself in this state, Shepard?”

“Coping.”

He snorted. “I see that’s working well for you.”

She was hardly aware of the state she was in, except that the comfort of being drunk had now devolved into the usual low she inevitably hit when she used alcohol to cope with her problems.

Chellick lifted her up, his hands moving to the hem of her dress, adjusting it to keep her from continuing to expose herself; she felt pathetic. What if she hadn’t been fortunate enough to run into him? Where might she have ended up that evening?

“Will you take me home?” She sniffled against him.

“Of course.”

In the morning, she barely remembered the ordeal, except for the vague sense of debt to Chellick, and a message from him on her omni-tool asking if she was okay.

* * *

 

 **2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **May 20** th

The bounty run with Garrus had been a lot of fun, despite Garrus’ complaints that he was technically breaking several laws and could lose his job if they got caught. Shepard could tell he’d enjoyed it too, cracking jokes as he hacked through the layers of security on the elcor’s apartment with skill and expertise she hadn’t seen anyone besides Tali demonstrate before. As he’d predicted, the hacking had taken the longest, but once the security was down, it had been easy to break into the apartment and get the elcor to hand over the papers he’d stolen; the bounty probably should have been higher, but it wasn’t too much work for the payout.

Shepard was surprised, but pleased, at the new level of comfort she felt with Garrus since their open discussion up on the roof. In fact, while it was impossible to completely forget how goddamn attractive he was, she found it was easy enough to push it to the back of her mind when they were talking during the bounty run. She was beginning to trust him, possibly more than their time together had warranted, but she still talked considerably less than he did, worried that any slip of the discussion into her past would bring up her relationship with his father. As far as she knew, Garrus had no clue who she was or that she knew his father personally. She preferred to keep it that way.

After the successful and enjoyable run, Shepard was feeling much perkier, and nicer, than she had in ages, so she decided to surprise Chellick at his apartment to continue the ‘conversation’ that had begun in his office. She just had to avoid thinking about Garrus and making the same mistake twice, or Chellick _really_ wouldn’t forgive her.

She arrived at his apartment around twenty-one hundred hours, anticipating that he would be home by then, but he was still gone. Unperturbed, she let herself in using the code he had typed in front of her when she’d been there last. She used his shower to wash off the grime from beating the shit out of an elcor, who put up a pretty solid fight, then lay down on his bed completely naked, waiting for him to return home.

Nearly half an hour passed; she started to get impatient and brought up her omni-tool.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][21:25]: Where are you?_

She waited five minutes before messaging again. It felt almost desperate, but it _had_ been a week since she’d had sex with him and she was getting too used to the regularity of their encounters.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][21:30]: Chellick?_

Another ten minutes passed, during which she struggled to keep her eyes open. His apartment was dark and she was more tired than she’d realized.

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][21:41]: Just got back to the station. Filing a report. Why?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.05.20][21:42]: Never mind. Moment passed_

Was that needlessly cruel or just teasing? She had a hard time drawing the line with Chellick most days.

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][21:47]: Have fun with Garrus?_

She stared at the message and thought for a moment about a reply. Her immediate impulse was to respond sarcastically, as she had when he’d asked her how Garrus knew about her scar, but she was trying to be nicer to Chellick, who she felt genuinely didn’t deserve half of the shit she gave him. Being nice was a new and difficult experience after years of being such a bitter fucking asshole.

Unfortunately, while she lay thinking about a response, her eyes grew heavy and she fell asleep before she could respond. She didn’t wake to receive his next message.

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.05.20][21:49]: Shepard?_

There was no saying how long she had slept when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder turning her over onto her back. She blinked the sleep from her eyes, waiting for her vision to adjust to the near pitch-black apartment. Eventually, she could make out Chellick lying next to her, his clothes already discarded.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

She yawned loudly. “Finishing our conversation.”

He traced a finger lazily across her collarbone and she shivered. His eyes roved up and down her body in the dark.

“Guess I couldn’t stay mad at you for too long.” His hand moved down her chest to her breast, squeezing the soft flesh, rolling her nipple beneath his thumb; she arched against his touch.

“I _am_ sorry, Chellick.”

He replaced his hand with his mouth, tracing his tongue against the upraised flesh of her nipple, nipping at the skin with his rigid lips. A little shiver of pleasure shot down her spine in response. She stroked the back of his head as his tongue lapped greedily against her skin, moving across her chest to her other breast.

“Just diving right in, aren’t you?” She laughed.

He rested his head between her breasts and his subharmonics purred. “I love these,” he said rubbing his face against her.

“You’re such an idiot. I bet you say that to all the criminals you fuck.”

He propped himself up on his elbows above her. “I know you’re joking, but…you know I don’t sleep with the other women I arrest, right?”

She felt like she’d been smacked in the face. If there was _one thing_ she thought she definitely knew about Chellick it was that he’d let an attractive human go free in exchange for sex. It seemed obvious; she personally knew of dozens of petty criminals that he let walk.

“What?” She managed to say when she realized he’d been staring at her for several seconds.

“Why would I trust some low-level drug dealer I just pulled off the street to put my cock in their mouth? Seriously? This is fucking Bachjret ward, Shepard. If I did that I’d _lose_ my dick. Besides, I might let a lot slide under the table, but it borders on coercion doesn’t it…?”

She was having a hard time reconciling what he was saying with her image of him. “But you…you let so many petty criminals walk…”

“Yeah for money maybe.” He shrugged. “Did you seriously not know?” When she didn’t say anything, he placed his hand on her shoulder. “Are you freaking out? Don’t freak out.”

She shook her head. “I’m not freaking out,” she lied. She was the _only_ criminal he slept with? The implication was, of course, that it always had been about their strange friendship, never about any real exchange of favors.

“I sleep with other women, Shepard. Just not other detainees…”

“Why did you…” Her head was spinning. “Why did you let me…?”

“What, the first time?” He kept his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it softly, clearly trying to keep her from overreacting, though she already was. His brow plate shifted as he spoke. “I thought you knew. I wanted to fuck you.” He shrugged. “All those trips to the hospital with Castis, seeing what you had been through. You know how I feel about scars. And strength. You obviously had both. When you showed up in my station and offered...it just seemed worth it.”

She sat up and grabbed the sides of her head. “I’m sorry, I just…I thought…”

“Spirits, Shepard, didn’t we already have this conversation?” He groaned. “I’ve never thought that you owed me anything. It just seemed like a convenient relationship; I knew I could trust you enough not to, I dunno, bite my dick off or something. You were always landing in hot water, so I didn’t mind helping. I knew you didn’t want Castis on your case. Do you…do you feel like I ever…” His voice caught in his throat, which surprised her. “Did I ever make you feel _pressured_ to…”

“No.” She shook her head quickly. “No. I always wanted to.”

“I really thought you knew. Do you know anything about me, or have you just spent the last three years riding my dick and causing me grief?” There was a slightly bitter edge to his voice as he asked the question. For some reason, it brought her out of her escalating panic and straight into irrational anger.

“Do I _know_ _anything_ about you?” She clenched her fists. How much knowledge had she acquired about this idiot turian over the last three years? More than she would have cared to admit, if Chellick hadn’t just challenged her on it. “Fuck you, Chellick. You want me to list everything I know about you? How about this? I know that your favorite color is yellow, I know that your favorite movie is Relay Rendezvous, I know that you wanted to be an author but your dad pushed you into C-sec, I know that you have an older brother who hates humans and you don’t speak to him, I know that your mom died when you were only ten and your dad was always cruel to you, I know that you’ve never fucked another turian in your life because you fell in love with a human when you were sixteen and never got over that obsession.” She took a deep breath and fixed him with a hard stare. “What else, Chellick?”

“Shepard, I…” His mandibles twitched as he tried to formulate a response, his eyes very plainly showing his surprise that she had remembered anything he’d told her during the past three on-and-off years of screwing each other.

“What do you fucking know about me?” She smacked his chest, but his hard plating hurt her hand far more than the smack had hurt him. “Besides my fucking trauma.”

He placed one hand on her back and tilted her back to expose her chest.

“What do I know about you?” He kissed her collarbone, dragging his tongue along the crevice. She shivered, still irrationally angry because he knew exactly what he was doing, and because the entire conversation was making her acutely aware of what had changed between them in the last year.

“I know that this is your favorite spot to be kissed,” he spoke softly against her skin, lowering her onto her back and holding himself over her. “I know more than your trauma, Shepard. I know that you had a family on Mindoir before you joined the Alliance, but they died. I know that you’re only mean because you don’t know how to cope with what happened to you, because when you were in the Alliance, you were a good person and you trusted people.” He traced his hand over her scar. “And then you stopped trusting anyone. I know that it’s all just an act to keep from getting close to anyone. That the real Shepard likes to sit on the Presidium and watch all of the people passing by, that sometimes she even feeds the birds in the park.”

“Shut up,” She growled. Everything he said was true, and if he realized as much, she was either that transparent, or he knew her too fucking well.

“The only reason I’ve put up with your horrible attitude and penchant for destruction for the past three years is because I know it’s not who you really are,” he said. “Sometimes I even get to see the real you.”

“Shut up!” She felt unwelcome tears spring to her cheeks.

“Why does it make you so mad that I care? Because your little act didn’t keep me from getting close?”

“Chellick…”

He licked the tears from her cheek affectionately, his subharmonics purring. His nose brushed against hers as he kissed her softly, moving his kisses down her neck, across her collarbone, over her breasts and her stomach and her hips.

And then she asked a question she already knew the answer to.

“Chellick, are you in love with me?”

He rested his head on her stomach and stared up at her with those big green eyes of his.

“Yes.”

Shit.

There was a prolonged silence during which she tried to think of anything at all that wouldn’t make her sound like the world’s biggest fucking asshole. Everything felt too cliché, but she recognized that she needed to respond.

“I’m sorry.” _Oof_. “I…I love you, Chellick, but not like that.” Just saying the words ‘I love you’ out loud made her want to get up and run as fast as she could, but she was being honest; Chellick was her friend and she cared about him.

His mandibles twitched against her stomach. “I’m not stupid, Shepard. There’s a reason I’ve never said anything to you.”

Her heart physically hurt, looking at him like that, hearing the casual way he spoke about it.

“How long?”

“I thought maybe I did before you fell off the map.” He shrugged. “It’s why I never reached out to you. I figured if what I was feeling was real, it was a bad idea and it wouldn’t hurt to just avoid you outright. I forgot about it for a while, but then Garrus brought you in and we had sex and…Spirits, Shepard, don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” She knew her pity must have been evident on her face. She hated when other people pitied her; what a fucking hypocrite she was.

“I’m not some naïve kid. I never entertained the notion that you felt the same way. I would have never said anything if you hadn’t asked. It doesn’t have to change anything. I’m not expecting you to change your mind.”

But it changed everything. How could she fuck him knowing he was in love with her? Even if he said so absolutely that he wasn’t harboring any ideas that she would somehow fall for him, wasn’t it cruel to sleep with him knowing how he felt?

God dammit, and he had been such a good lay lately too.

“Chellick…I can’t…” She sat up. “I can’t sleep with you anymore.”

“That makes no sense,” he growled. “If we both enjoy it, it shouldn’t matter how I feel.”

“But it does.”

“Don’t leave.” He sat up and kissed her shoulder. “Don’t…”

“Oh, fuck, Chellick, please don’t make this so hard. I’m not walking out of your life again, okay?” She stroked his mandible. “I just can’t…I can’t sleep with you knowing how you feel. It’s too cruel, even for me.”

“Then why did you ask me?”

She pressed her forehead against his. “Because I knew something had changed and I had to know if that’s what it was. I’m sorry, Chellick. You could do so much better than me. You will.”

 _Fuck_ , if it was the right thing to do why did it hurt her so fucking much to do it? Because it was hard, and it would have been easier to just keep sleeping with him and pretend they were both on the same page when they weren’t.

He let out a long sigh. “Please don’t avoid me now because of this.”

She shook her head. “I won’t. I promise. Hell, if nothing else, Jack causes enough trouble that she’s like a little guarantee that I’ll be in to see you regularly.”

He laughed. “Thank you…for being the real you tonight.”

She stood up and gathered her clothes from the floor. “Only for you, Chellick.”

* * *

 

 **2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **May 21** st

By the time Shepard arrived back to her apartment, it was the early hours of the morning cycle. Tali was awake when she shuffled in, sitting on the couch watching the news with a cup of coffee in hand, sipping it slowly through a straw. She looked up upon Shepard’s arrival, and the frown was visible in the glow from her eyes.

“Where have you been? What’s wrong?” She asked.

Shepard dropped onto the couch and stretched out along the length of it, resting her head in Tali’s lap.

“Chellick’s in love with me.”

Tali inhaled sharply and stroked her hands through Shepard’s hair. “What did you say to him? What happened? _Keelah,_ Shepard, _in love_?”

Shepard relayed the events of the night while Tali listened quietly. She felt emotionally drained and selfishly upset with Chellick. It wasn’t as though it was his fault, nobody could really ever help who they fell in love with and Shepard had certainly done her fair share of cruel things that would have driven off someone else. She knew it was better that she found out rather than continue on in a spiraling cycle with him; his affection had already been showing more and more with each encounter. Still, he had been such a reliable lay and an ugly part of her wished she hadn’t asked him, that she had just pretended to ignore what she knew was true so that she could continue to enjoy herself with him.

For once in the last five years she had chosen the kinder route.

“Was he upset when you told him you didn’t love him?” Tali asked.

“No. He knew. And I do love him, but only how I love you or Thane or Jack. I told him that; that I loved him, but not how he loved me. Was it cruel of me?” She felt so raw and emotional; it was so much easier to be a bitch.

Tali shook her head. “No, not cruel. I’m sure it made him feel better to know you care at all. What will you do now?”

“I promised him I wouldn’t stop seeing him just because I can’t sleep with him anymore. Oh God, Tali, why does it hurt so much?”

“Because you care about him and you know that it will cause him pain.”

“This is why I hate letting people into my life. Because I just inevitably hurt them and then I feel bad about it, which hurts me. What a miserable fucking cycle.” She closed her eyes and tried to keep from crying.

Tali made a soothing noise and continued to stroke her hair. “You’ll be fine. You wouldn’t take back being friends with Chellick; he’s helped us a lot over the years.”

“I know,” she sighed. “Let’s talk about anything else. What happened with you and Alenko?”

Tali didn’t question her desire to change the subject; she knew her well enough to know when she wanted to be pressed on something and this was not one of those times.

“He’s really into tech. He showed me his omni-tool and we spent half an hour talking about the best way to hack through a Gavatine security mechanism. And of course I thought he was _gorgeous._ I think we might have a date this weekend?” She laughed.

“You _think_?” Shepard asked.

“Well, he asked me if I liked coffee and I said yes and then he said he also liked coffee and that there was a good place at the other end of the district for getting coffee. So I said ‘well maybe we could both get coffee there sometime’. And then he said ‘I always go on Saturday mornings at nine’. But we never actually officially set anything.” She shrugged and let out a long sigh. “I want to get excited, but I’m just worried he’ll be like the last human I tried to date. As soon as they realize they can’t get in my suit…”

“Garrus says he’s really nice.” Shepard interrupted her. “Don’t worry about it and just get to know him. One step at a time.”

“Speaking of Garrus, he’s _cute_.” There was an undertone to Tali’s voice that suggested she absolutely meant something by it.

“And?” Shepard feigned innocence.

“Well, are you going to do something about it?”

“No. We have a professional relationship. And he’s _Castis’_ son.” She groaned. After the whole situation with Chellick, the idea of Garrus fucking her brains out had taken on an entirely new appeal. It would be a lot harder to ignore her filthy thoughts with no guaranteed sexual release to speak of.

“But you _are_ attracted to him, aren’t you?” Tali asked.

“Yeah, but I think for once I’m going to exercise some discretion and self-control.”

“Hm, doesn’t sound like you.” Tali sipped her coffee.

Shepard sat up. “Thanks for listening, Tali. I’m going to go get some sleep.”

Tali squeezed her hand as she left. “Don’t let this weigh you down, okay? You did the right thing.”

She nodded and shuffled to her room, knowing Tali was right, but still feeling like a miserable sack of shit for it anyway.

* * *

 

Beautiful art for this chapter done by [Beth-Adastra](https://bethadastra-art.tumblr.com/)

**Note: The playlist for this fic has been updated with a song for this chapter and[can be found here](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC) (I suggest considering the lyrics from Chellick's perspective)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post a chapter before I leave for my trip! I'm so happy that so many of you have commented saying you're surprised by how much you love Chellick! I love writing Chellick, and I feel like I get to put my own spin on him more than I can with Shepard and Garrus (though I love writing them too obviously). But I have gotten maybe a little too attached to my own characterization of him because this chapter was kind of a bummer to write! But also a plot-point I've had in mind basically since day one and a necessary one. Thank you again for all the lovely and thoughtful comments, you have no clue how much I appreciate them! More updates in a week!


	10. Azure

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **May 28** th

The case with the volus and one of the Citadel’s largest, but most unknown, drug suppliers had a new lead after Chellick had received an anonymous tip that corroborated one of the many stories the volus had spun during his interrogation. C-sec still didn’t know _who_ the drug supplier was, but the lead had given them intel on key distribution points and a number of other intermediaries they could go after. Because of this opening in the case, Garrus had been incredibly busy the entire week and had barely had the time or energy to function after work, let alone go out on a bounty run.

Shepard had, surprisingly, stopped by of her own accord twice during the week. The first time, she had been by to see Chellick, but he was gone, so she’d spent an hour sitting in the office swiping through Garrus’ bounty program and complaining about how little people valued a bounty hunter’s skills, considering the low payout of half of the bounties in the system. Garrus had spent the entire hour staring at her and looking away whenever she looked up to meet his gaze.

Ever since he’d overheard that it was _his_ name she’d accidentally said in bed, the thought of it hadn’t left his mind. And the longer he thought about it, about Shepard, the more he questioned how he felt about her. Apart from making out with an asari stripper on his twentieth birthday, he’d never been with anyone that wasn’t a turian. Humans had always seemed too soft and doughy for his rough metallic plating and his sharp talons, but he could appreciate what Chellick saw in some of them; Shepard didn’t seem too soft though, and she was getting friendlier with him every day. He found himself wondering if her whole body was covered in the freckles that dotted her face, if she tasted different than a turian, if her lips were as soft as they looked. It felt like overnight he had gone from being afraid of her to being obsessed with her. But it didn’t seem like a _human_ thing, not some curiosity about what humans would be like manifested in an interest in Shepard. It was specifically about _her_ and her alone.

At first, he’d tried to ignore it, but slowly he’d let the thoughts creep in. By the end of the week he had an embarrassing extranet search history that included several enlightening vids he would have never admitted to watching.

He was a little too excited when Shepard showed up to the station for the second time that week, and a little too disappointed when she disappeared into Chellick’s office for two hours, only stopping briefly to say hi to him when she passed by the doorway.

While she was busy with Chellick, his program had pinged him indicating a bounty with an eight-thousand credit reward that just happened to be on a target who was also on C-sec’s list of potential intermediaries for the big drug supplier; it was the perfect run after a week’s absence.

By the time Shepard left Chellick’s office, it was almost time for Garrus to clock out. She stopped in the doorway, but she didn’t look as disheveled as she typically did when she was finished with the captain. In fact, her eyes were red and puffy and it looked as though she’d been crying.

Garrus cocked his head. “Everything okay, Shepard?”

“Fine.” She shrugged and rubbed her eyes. “Chellick and I just had a long conversation about the past. I’m fine. Any good hits on your program?”

He could see she didn’t want to discuss it, so he didn’t press the issue.

“Actually, I just got a hit not too long ago on a bounty that could be useful for both of us. It’s eight-thousand credits. An asari potentially working as an intermediary for the big drug supplier we’re trying to bust. I scanned the extranet while you were in with Chellick, but all I got was her name. I’m not sure where we would find her.”

“What’s the name then?”

“Aria T’Loak.” He shrugged.

“We’ll talk to my information broker. She should be able to get us something on her.” Shepard glanced at the time on her omni-tool. “Can you clock out a few minutes early? Chellick won’t care.”

Garrus _knew_ Chellick wouldn’t care, but clocking out early still felt like breaking some sort of rule, especially when he was likely going to be breaking even more of them out on a bounty run. Considering that it paled in comparison to illegally hacking into an apartment security system, he supposed it couldn’t hurt to just leave.

“Sure. Let me just change, I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

He hurried to the locker room, removing his armor quickly and stowing it in his locker, clipping a shield generator to his waist after he changed into his street clothes, and opting for a small heavy pistol that he could conceal easily. He didn’t like working with such small guns, but an assault rifle was hard to hide under a shirt and discretion could be key on a run.

Shepard was waiting for him by the doors when he finished getting ready, and she led him through the streets at a quick pace, headed for the lower districts.

“So Chellick said you guys have been really busy with this case.” She made conversation as they walked.

“Yeah, he got a lead last week and it opened up a lot of names to investigate. We’re trying to take it slow and figure out which leads make the most sense to follow because if we go after too many of them, the supplier’s probably going to catch on.”

“Your first big case, huh?” She raised her eyebrows at him.

“Definitely bigger than anything I dealt with up on the Presidium,” he laughed.

“Yeah, what is there to even police up there? Teenagers fucking in the gardens? One time I got in an argument with a C-sec officer up on the Presidium because he was giving a hanar shit for trying to preach too close to a business without a permit. It seems like a huge fucking waste of money to pay someone to harass people like that.” She rolled her eyes.

“I don’t disagree, but he was just doing his job.”

“Come on, Garrus. You’re not the type to follow orders blindly.”

“Yeah, but I’m not a very good turian because of it.”

“You seem all right to me.”

His mandibles flared and he was glad she wasn’t looking at him when she said it.

“Where exactly does this information broker of yours live?” He changed the subject.

“Somewhere that’s not easy to find.”

They were moving deeper and deeper into the ward. He had never been to the very edge of the ward, but he’d heard it was like another city all unto its own; he hoped they weren’t going that far.

She led him onward, twisting down side paths he would have never known to take, out of the way of the main street where people could turn aggressive quickly so low in the ward. After nearly an hour of walking and making small talk, she stopped at a stairwell leading into the basement of a large, multi-storied building with a crumbling façade. She knocked twice on the rusting metal door and a pair of distinctly krogan eyes appeared through a slit at the top of it.

“What do you want?” The krogan grumbled.

“It’s Shepard, you idiot. I’m here to talk to Liara.”

The krogan looked at Garrus and then back to Shepard. “Hold on.”

The little slit at the top of the door shut again. Shepard folded her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.

“She’s going to be mad that I brought you,” she said, eyeing Garrus up and down. “Liara can smell a cop from a mile away.”

“I can wait outside if…”

“No, you’ll come in with me.” She interrupted him.

The krogan’s eyes reappeared at the top of the door a minute later. “Liara wants to know what the fuck C-sec is doing with you and if this is some kind of setup.”

“He works with me. Look, I’m not talking to you anymore. Open the fucking door or I’ll force it open and then I’ll rip all four of your testicles off one by one and stuff them into your ass. Do you understand me?”

“Fuck you, Shepard,” the krogan growled.

A moment later the door slid open and Shepard beckoned Garrus to follow her down into the dimly lit basement.

When they stepped inside, the door slammed shut behind them, leaving them in a nearly pitch-black room. The krogan was standing next to the door glowering at Shepard with his arms folded over his chest.

“What the hell does Liara have against lightbulbs?” Shepard growled.

She stumbled forward blindly, her vision far worse than Garrus’ in the dark.

“Shepard, do you want me to help you?”

He reached out an arm and she grabbed onto it and then he was acutely aware of how soft and numerous her fingers were. She held onto him with a vice grip, the two of them shuffling slowly down a long hall where a dim light glowed through the doorway.

They reached the end of the hall and Shepard let go of him, moving into the room with the glowing light. He followed her in and found himself in a cramped space lined from wall to wall with vid screens, all of them showing different feedback, a vast system of terminals and keyboards splayed out beneath them. At the center of everything was the silhouette of an asari, hunched over the keyboard and speaking into a mic that distorted her voice.

“This is all a bit dramatic, Liara.” Shepard said.

The asari spun around, her face cast partially in shadow. She looked young for an asari, with light blue skin made bluer by the glow from the vid screens. She stared at Garrus for a moment before she turned her attention to Shepard.

“Why did you bring a C-sec agent into my base?” Her voice was smooth and soothing, but Garrus could sense something dangerous in it as well.

“He works with me. We need information on a bounty.”

“It will cost you,” Liara said softly.

“It always does.”

“You told me she didn’t charge you,” Garrus recalled. “You lied?”

“Not now, Garrus.” Shepard shushed him.

He folded his arms moodily. He really _was_ a naïve idiot, Chellick had even told him to remember that criminals often lied, but why lie about having unlimited access to an information broker? To make it seem like she didn’t _really_ need his help? To avoid any hint of vulnerability? He knew it didn’t really matter, that their little arrangement had worked out in the end, but it still annoyed him.

“Garrus Vakarian.” Liara jarred him from his thoughts. “Executor Vakarian’s son. Even worse, Shepard. You _do_ know that I know everything about everyone, don’t you? And what would Castis think of his son out with…”

“Not relevant to the conversation, Liara,” Shepard growled. “I need intel on an asari named Aria T’loak.”

Liara crossed her arms over her chest. “I know Aria.”

“How much will it cost?”

“Two thousand credits.”

“Christ, no discount?” Shepard balked.

“You haven’t come to see me in ages, Shepard. Discounts are for friends.”

“I can pay for half of it…” Garrus offered. He made a steady, decent income with C-sec, particularly compared to the sporadic and unreliable nature of Shepard’s.

“It’s my bounty. I’ll pay the credits,” Shepard said, somewhat defensively.

“Shepard, that’s a quarter of the bounty.”

She tapped on her omni-tool and ignored him. “There. The credits are transferred. Tell me what you know about T’loak.”

Liara scanned her own omni-tool to verify the exchange before she spoke.

“Aria runs a strip club in district 49. It’s well known in criminal circles, but the official paperwork has no mention of her name…strictly speaking, Aria T’loak is just one name she’s gone by in her lifetime. She’s a very powerful biotic with a lot of resources at her fingertips. Eight thousand credits seems like a pretty paltry bounty to take on someone like her.”

“Maybe whoever placed the bounty is looking for someone desperate,” Garrus suggested. “A body to throw at her.”

Liara stared at him with unblinking eyes. “Your friend may be right, Shepard. You might want to think twice about taking her on. Is this a kill bounty?”

“No. They want her alive,” he answered.

“Even worse. Aria would never go willingly and I’m sure whoever placed the bounty plans on killing her themselves.”

“We’re going after her.” Shepard dug her heels in stubbornly.

“Very well.” Liara shrugged. “If you can’t be persuaded not to, then you should go with as much information as possible. Her club is heavily guarded with turian and krogan bodyguards. She keeps watch from a balcony that overlooks the entire club. You have to draw her out and get her alone if you have any hope of getting to her. The club is located on the top floor of the old shopping complex in the district.”

“Seems like a strange place for a strip club,” Shepard noted.

“And yet business is booming.” Liara raised her eyebrows. “This place makes Chora’s Den look like a daycare, Shepard. It’s tucked away in an unlikely location for a reason. She’s converted some of the lower floors into rent-by-the-hour rooms where her girls provide guests with comfort for the right price; she also uses these rooms to facilitate illegal exchanges. I don’t seriously believe _she’s_ working with any suppliers, but she’s well-known in the underground for providing a middle ground for intermediaries and suppliers, and for harboring fugitives.”

“So how do we draw her out?”

“If I knew how to take out Aria T’loak, I would be a very rich woman. I suggest creating a distraction. All I can say is that she keeps a gunship on the roof and if the distraction is large enough…or threatening enough, she’ll escape using the gunship.”

Shepard nodded. “Thanks, Liara.”

“I still beg you to reconsider the task, Shepard. This bounty is worth far more than eight thousand credits.”

“Then maybe I’ll extort whoever placed the bounty until I get more. Thanks for the info. I’ll try to stop by to see you more often. Come on, Garrus.”

She brushed past him and he followed, casting one last glance back at the strange asari information broker.

When they emerged back out of the basement and into the alley, Shepard stalked away without a word. He caught up to her quickly.

“Do you think this is a good idea, Shepard? I could call for backup. I’m sure Chellick would be happy to let C-sec try to crack this open if…”

“When did I ever let a challenge stop me? You can back out if you want, Garrus. I’m going for this.” She had a fierce determination in her eyes that frightened him a little, but it also spurred him to follow her.

“This isn’t just some petty thief. This is a serious criminal. We could get hurt.”

She stopped suddenly and yanked up her shirt, revealing the scar splayed across her belly. “I’ve been hurt. If I could survive this, I can survive a fucking asari pimp running some seedy strip club.”

Garrus’ eyes roved up and down the scar, knotted and raised and pale. He was so desperate to know what had happened to her, what could have occurred that would have left her torn in two physically and emotionally. He reached out a hand before he even realized what he was doing and brushed his finger tentatively over the middle of the scar. Her skin jumped beneath his touch and she took a step back.

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately, mandibles pinning against his face.

“ _Turians_.” She rolled her eyes and continued walking. “You’re all the same.”

* * *

 

It had surprised the hell out of Shepard when Garrus had touched her scar, and annoyed her at how eagerly her body had responded to his unexpected touch. She wrote it off quickly enough; turians were always interested in scars, especially one as ghastly and huge as hers. Garrus had been curious about the scar since he’d first glimpsed it when the salarian had stabbed her, it shouldn’t have surprised her that his instinctive interest would kick in when he was allowed a full look at it.

_It didn’t mean anything, Shepard. Quit losing your shit every time he even looks at you._

It was no help that her conversation with Chellick had been long and draining, delving into parts of her past she preferred not to think about, which had left her in an irritable and obstinate mood. Chellick, to his credit, had thanked her for keeping her promise, and for making the more noble decision to end their sexual relationship, rather than drag it out for her own pleasure. It hadn’t made her feel much better, but at least he was handling it well.

Taking on a strip club full of heavily armed bodyguards for a bounty that wasn’t nearly high enough was likely going to top her list of stupid mistakes when all was said and done, but she was eager to crack some skulls in an effort to release the emotional buildup of the last week.

Bachjret District 49 was one district away from the lowest edge of the ward, housing some of the seediest locales and the site of the second highest crime rate on the Citadel, second only to Bachjret District 50. Shepard avoided any district lower than 48 unless she absolutely had to be there; the bounties on targets that deep in the ward were either phenomenally high six-figure sums for impossible-to-kill targets, or far too low as a means of throwing desperate bodies at elusive marks. Shepard knew, as Garrus had suggested, that Aria’s bounty fell into the latter category. Still, if she could pull it off, she absolutely felt she could get more money out of the person who placed the bounty, and it would help Chellick and Garrus out with their investigation.

She didn’t want to spend too much time thinking about how eager she was to please both turians; it was disgusting. She knew it stemmed from a desire to apologize to Chellick for not feeling the same way, as if she could control it; and a desire to make Garrus happy, partially out of a genuine sense of friendship and comradery, and partially because some delusional part of her brain hoped it would make him recognize some previously unseen attraction to her. As if helping someone with their damn job was the sexiest fucking thing she could do.

“What’s the plan when we get to the club?” Garrus asked as they passed through the ward, moving closer and closer to District 49.

“We pretend we’re customers.” She shrugged. “We’ll get drinks and buy a show from one of the strippers and scope the place out.”

“We need to think of a distraction to get Aria on the move.”

“Maybe we set fire to one of the rooms a floor down. No…a fire in the wards could spread like that,” she snapped her fingers. “Not worth the other lives that would be put at risk.”

“I could set a fake vid feed into the security monitors to make it seem like the place was being stormed by krogan bounty hunters,” Garrus suggested. “Maybe you could have Tali put out some chatter on the extranet channels to corroborate.”

Shepard was surprised by the suggestion. Garrus was _definitely_ not his father.

“That could actually work. It would at least get her on the move. My guess is they’d lock-down the upper floors and move Aria out of the building while the bodyguards look into it, just to be safe. We can bypass the lockdown and meet her up on the roof. Then we just have to keep her from getting into the gunship.”

“Or else highjack the gunship.” Garrus fixed her with a grin and her face flushed.

_Fucking annoying._

“We’ll scope the place and see if that kind of plan would work. If not, we’ll have to come up with a plan b.”

“Maybe Aria is into humans. You could always offer to work for her, show off some skin and get her alone.” Garrus’ brow plate shifted suggestively.

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay, Garrus. In your dreams.”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

_It doesn’t mean anything._

He _had_ been surprisingly flirtatious in the messages they sent back and forth, but she was never sure what to make of it. Sometimes cross-species flirtation could get lost in translation, but he _seemed_ to be keeping up with whatever she dished out.

_It. Doesn’t. Mean. Anything._

It was evident what kind of territory they were entering as they made their way deeper and deeper into the ward, eventually reaching the crumbling former shopping complex that housed Aria’s club. A dead batarian lay in the street attracting flies and two nearby salarians sat against a building, high on something, barely moving. Garrus looked a little frightened at the state of things so low in the ward; Shepard imagined he hadn’t been exposed to such conditions in his life.

From outside, the building where the club was located appeared abandoned, but a small, fading sign by the doorway indicated that they could enter to find the Azure Tunnel strip club on the top floor, twenty flights up.

They opted to take the elevator, though it shook and lurched as it rose, causing Garrus to grip the wall with a look of panic. Shepard folded her arms and watched him with a cool, collected stare.

“Scared of an elevator, Garrus?”

“It feels like it could fall at any minute!”

“I’m sure it’s fine. It would be bad for business to let customers fall to their death.” She shrugged.

The door opened a minute later into a dimly lit hallway, muffled music sounding from behind a door barred by a krogan bouncer. Shepard and Garrus approached him and he stared wordlessly.

“What’s the cover?” Shepard asked.

“You don’t exactly look like our type of clientele,” the krogan said gruffly.

Shepard thought quickly. Her normal approach of aggressive hostility was not going to swing it in a place like District 49, unless she wanted to get killed. She hooked her arm in Garrus’ and put on an affected voice.

“Well, to be honest, I’ve never been this low in the ward, but me and my boyfriend heard this place was really kinky and I’ve always wanted to try something with an asari. Is this the kind of place for that or not?”

She saw Garrus’ mandibles flare in her periphery.

The krogan rolled his eyes. “Idiotic upper warders. If you’ve got the credits, you’ll get what you’re looking for. Cover is a hundred credits.”

Shepard transferred the money and the krogan stepped aside to allow them to enter.

Inside, the club was pulsing with neon blue light and loud, thumping music. The place was enormous and _packed_ with people of every race: even elcor and hanar could be seen slinking around the dance floor or crowding the bar that circled the center of the room. Hanging platforms above the bar provided a space for the strippers to dance, though plenty of them were dancing on top of tables or grinding against customers’ laps; they weren’t all asari either, there were plenty of humans and even a few turians.

Shepard tugged Garrus along to the bar and ordered them drinks, then turned to examine the room. She felt her skin jump when Garrus leaned in next to her, his mouth so close to her ear she could feel his breath.

“Good thinking on your feet, Shepard.”

He was only so close because it was too loud to think, let alone hear each other. She tried to ignore the tickle of his mandible against her cheek until he pulled his face away to scope out the room with her.

As Liara had promised, the owner of the club could be seen seated on a couch overlooking everything from the second floor. From their spot by the bar, all Shepard could make out was the silhouette of the asari, flanked by a turian and a krogan, the stairs leading up to her perch lined with similar bodyguards. She had a female turian next to her, arm slung around her, drink in her other hand.

“That’s a lot of bodyguards,” Garrus said, leaning in close again. She hated how readily her body responded to his proximity and to his deep, resonating voice.

The bartender brought them their drinks and she decided they should move somewhere with a good view of both Aria’s nest above them, and any potential exit points around the club. She opted for a table across the room, sidling onto the bench seat next to Garrus.

He draped an arm across her shoulder to keep up the act and leaned close once more. She was going to fuck up this entire run if she couldn’t get her head on straight and deal with Garrus touching her. It was fucking ridiculous to her that it could take Chellick thirty minutes to get her warmed up enough to be ready to go and one brush of the hand from Garrus sent her heartbeat jolting down between her legs.

“It looks like there’s a door out to the roof behind Aria’s balcony,” he told her. “That would be her most likely plan of escape if we set up the fake vid. She might send two or three of her guards to investigate, but there’s at least ten of them up there: all turian and krogan. That’s a lot to contend with, even with a shield generator.”

“Maybe we need a bigger distraction then,” she suggested, still hyper-focused on his fingers pressing against her shoulder.

“Any ideas?” He sipped his drink and his mandibles twitched. “What is this?”

“Cipritine Stillwine,” she answered quickly.

“I thought so.” He sipped it again. “My dad loves this stuff.”

_Smooth, Shepard._

It had been the first dextro drink to come to mind.

“I do have an idea…” She told him. “It involves a flash grenade.”

“Spirits…we’re going to die here, aren’t we? For an eight-thousand credit bounty.” His hand slid off of her shoulder and he gripped his drink tightly.

“Just hear me out. We spend an hour here drinking…pretending to drink. I approach one of the guards and try to get handsy with him or…I dunno ask him for relationship advice or something, pretending I’m drunk. Once I’m close to the stairs, I throw the flash grenade and we rush the stairs. We’ll have an advantage because we’ll know it’s coming. Then we just keep Aria from getting to the gunship in the chaos.” It was an idiotic plan, but she couldn’t see where there were better options.

Garrus sighed. “Maybe, but…”

“You two look lonely.” A purple asari approached them, climbing onto their table and dropping to her knees as she writhed in front of them. “You want a dance?”

She was already naked, her breasts jiggling as she moved. She spread her knees apart and leaned all the way back until her head touched the table, revealing the dark purple folds of the slit between her legs. Garrus gaped at her; even Shepard stared for a moment.

When the asari curved her body back up, she leaned forward and kissed Shepard forcefully. Now she understood why Liara had warned that this place was worse than anything she had ever encountered. Even in Chora’s Den there was a strict no-touching rule in the bar, though rooms certainly existed for the option in the back of the club.

The asari stripper’s tongue moved against Shepard’s and for a moment she was too dazed to do anything. As soon as the kiss had begun, the asari pulled away and turned to Garrus, kissing him as well. Shepard watched his talons dig into the side of the chair at the unexpected advance.

“For a thousand credits the two of you could get an hour with me,” the asari said when she drew her lips away from Garrus. “What do you think?”

“What do we think?” He blinked languidly.

“We’ll have to think about it,” Shepard replied. “We could use some more drinks though.”

“I’m not a fucking waitress,” the asari hissed. “You sure you need time to think about it?” She grabbed Shepard’s hand and cupped it against one of her breasts. “I can tell you’re interested.”

Shepard’s heartbeat was throbbing between her legs. The asari _was_ beautiful, and it had been months since she’d been with anyone so soft. It took a moment of her brain short-circuiting to remember they were there for a target, and that she preferred enthusiastic encounters to those bought and paid for. She withdrew her hand and stared with sudden interest at her drink.

“Not interested right now, sorry.”

“Maybe your boyfriend is.” The asari shrugged and turned to Garrus.

“No…uh…no, thank you,” Garrus croaked.

The asari groaned and slid off the table, slinking along the wall to the next group. Shepard was thankful for the dim lighting because her face felt like it was on fire.

“This place is…something.” Garrus took a long gulp from his drink.

Shepard tried to regain some semblance of calm before she spoke. “Uh…you were saying something about my plan?”

He nodded slowly. “Flash grenade. Right. It’s a risky plan, Shepard. We’d have to move quickly, and we’d be bound to come under fire, even if we can take down all the guards. Is it really worth the bounty?”

Shepard glanced up to where Aria sat overlooking the club. There was something more to this than her stubborn insistence to see this bounty through. Even though she couldn’t see any of Aria’s features, something in her gut was telling her she needed to meet this asari face to face. Ever since Nihlus had twisted it to pieces, she’d listened to what her gut told her.

“It’s worth it, Garrus, and I don’t see a better plan.”

“There’d be no room for error. You drop the flash grenade, chaos ensues, we run up the stairs and take out every guard we can on the way up. One wrong move and we’re dead. Really dead. _That_ serious.”

“If you don’t want to do this, I’ll do it alone,” she growled.

“I didn’t say that. But if you make it out and I don’t, I’m just warning you that my dad will definitely kill you.” He laughed, but she didn’t.

 _That_ would have been quite a reunion with Castis. ‘Haven’t seen you in over four years, by the way I killed your only son. Sorry.’

“You’ve seen me work. We’ll do this and we’ll do it right.”

“Then I’m in.”

They spent the next hour seated in the booth pretending to drink. Garrus would occasionally drape his arm back over her shoulder, and he spent most of the hour incredibly close to her to facilitate easier conversation; it wasn’t helping her focus. She traced a route up the stairs to the door behind the balcony over and over again to ignore the feeling of Garrus’ face so close to her own; she needed to know the route blind for when the grenade went off.

After the hour had passed, she pretended to have a spat with Garrus and stumbled across the room to the bottom of the stairs where a turian in scuffed silver armor stood with an assault rifle in his arms. He stared at her as she feigned inebriation and leaned against him.

“Ma’am, this area of the club is off limits. I suggest you take a step back.”

“Do me a favor,” Shepard slurred. “You see…you see that turian over there?” Garrus had moved to the bar, arms folded and mandibles pinched to the side of his face. She pointed at him clumsily.

The turian bodyguard sighed. “Ma’am…”

“Maybe you can help me!” Shepard smacked his armor with the flat of her palm. “You’re a turian. We had an argument…because he doesn’t like to keep his talons trimmed. You… _hic_ …you ever been with a human?”

“Spirits,” the turian groaned. “I’m not a relationship counselor, ma’am. Maybe you should…”

Shepard’s fingers had been inching around to a button at her waist. She pressed it discreetly and a moment later her omni-tool let off the flash grenade, interrupting the turian’s statement. The grenade made a sound like a bomb going off and released a cloud of white smoke that slowly obscured half the bar.

As Garrus had predicted, chaos ensued. A few people near the bar screamed, people began rushing the doors, and the bodyguards reeled, coughing in the thick smoke and firing blindly into the cloud.

Wasting no time, Shepard slammed the disoriented turian bodyguard into the wall and rushed up the stairs, bringing her pistol up to meet the forehead of the next bodyguard she encountered. She fired off a shot when she felt it make contact, unable to see anything in the thick smoke billowing through the room. She thought she heard Garrus ascending the other side, certainly heard gunshots, though it was difficult to say if they came from him or the bodyguards.

They reached the top of the stairs around the same time, a trail of dead or unconscious bodyguards in their wake, and found that the door out to the roof was already open. Shepard rushed through into a hallway, which terminated abruptly at a metal ladder that led to an open hatch out onto the roof. She scrambled up the ladder, thankful for the absence of the grenade smoke when she reached the top.

Up on the roof, the gunship was parked across the building and Aria and her turian friend were rushing for it. Shepard gave chase, running as fast as her legs would carry her, ignoring the burning in her lungs from the exertion and the residual smoke inhalation. Garrus was close behind; she could hear the heavy tap of his steel boots on the gravelly roof.

As they ran, Aria stopped abruptly while the turian woman continued on to the gunship, jumping into the cockpit and kicking it into life. The asari, meanwhile, turned to face Shepard and Garrus, a blue glow enveloping her body as she clenched her fists. Shepard skidded to a halt too late, and a moment later Aria had her suspended above the roof in one mass effect field and Garrus in another.

Up close, the details of her face were visible now: light purple skin, with dark purple tattoos arching across her forehead to the sides of her face as well as beneath her lips. She stepped closer to them, her rage showing plainly in her blazing blue eyes. With a flick of her hand she sent Garrus flying to the edge of the roof, and wherever he ended up, Shepard couldn’t move an inch to see him.

_Please, God, don’t let him be dead…_

She had really fucked this one up. What had she been thinking taking on a powerful a asari biotic on her own turf? Had her gut really misled her this badly? She was absolutely going to fucking die up on that roof, after all she had been through. The criminals in other parts of the ward might be forgiving to a degree, but this low in Bachjret, she expected no sympathy.

Aria dropped her and she landed hard on her back, a jolt of pain running down her spine, too dazed and hurt to move. It wasn’t long before the asari was on top of her with her hand around her neck, choking the life out of her.

“Who the fuck are you?” Aria asked, her voice surprisingly cool and collected as she tightened her grip around Shepard’s throat. “And what the fuck made you think you could come into my club and try to fuck with me?”

Shepard clawed desperately at Aria’s hand, her nails drawing blood, but the asari didn’t even flinch. She looked down at the blood trickling from her skin with disgust, then locked eyes with Shepard. There was a glean of recognition in her gaze.

“I know _you_.” Aria let go of her throat suddenly, but used her hands to pin Shepard’s arms down. “You probably never saw me, but I remember you… _lieutenant.”_

What the fuck was happening? Shepard didn’t recognize the asari, though she knew her gut had been telling her something down in the club. How did she know who she was? Had she been one of the nurses who took care of her at the hospital? No…no way…

“Struggling? The last time I saw you, I was tied up and drugged, being _sold_ to someone for daring to double cross Saren Arterius and Nihlus Kryik. Then you and your human friends showed up and I managed to get free. I watched Nihlus tear you open.” She shoved Shepard’s shirt up to reveal the scar running along her torso. “From here,” she jabbed her finger against the flesh beneath Shepard’s breast and traced it along to her opposite hip, “to here.”

She had been on Elysium.

“I don’t know why the fuck you’re here, lieutenant. I’m guessing it has something to do with that pathetic bounty that got placed on me. The only reason I’m letting you live is because you saved my life that day on Elysium. If you hadn’t shown up, I sure as hell wouldn’t be here right now.” She stepped off of Shepard and stood up. “If you want to rethink claiming that bounty, then I might rethink talking to you. I’ve spent the last five years searching for Nihlus Kryik. Might be something you could help me with.”

Shepard struggled to her feet. “I’ve got no fucking interest in seeing him ever again.” It was a lie. If she’d had the means, she would have found him and gutted him like he had done to her.

“If you change your mind, you look up Nyreen Kandros. She’ll get you in touch with me. I better not see your face in my club again otherwise. Now, you better hurry before your little turian friend falls off the roof.” She nodded to the other end of the roof and turned toward the gunship.

Shepard didn’t wait to watch her go. She ran to the other end of the roof, where she could see Garrus’ talons clutching at the ledge, slipping and loosening his grip. She skidded against the side of the building, dropping to her knees and tearing her pants and skin in the process. She reached out just as Garrus was about to fall; he gripped onto her arms, his talons digging painfully into her skin. God, he was fucking heavy.

There was a look of panic in his eyes as he clung desperately to her. She tried to lift him, but she didn’t have any good leverage from her position and he was just too heavy.

“Shit, I’m going to die,” he gasped.

“No you’re not! Shut up! Claw up my arm if you have to, fuck, Garrus, you’ve got to help me.”

She struggled to pull him up, using the full force of her strength to lift. It felt like her arms were going to sever from her shoulders until he started to help, moving one hand up her arm, then the other, talons piercing through her skin as he held his grip. Together, painfully, they managed to get him up over the ledge of the building and back onto the roof.

As soon as he was up, she fell onto her back clutching her bleeding arms, the pain hitting her head-on now that the adrenaline rush was over. Garrus dropped down by her side and pulled her against him, extending her arms and examining the damage his talons had caused.

“How the hell did you survive that encounter, Shepard?” he asked, applying medi-gel along the length of her arms.

“Long story. Christ, Garrus, you should trim your fucking talons.” She was breathing heavily from the exertion of lifting him.

“If I did that I’d be dead right now. Are you okay otherwise?”

“No, I think she broke my fucking back.”

“I think you’d know if your back was broken.” He rolled his eyes. “So, was almost dying worth missing a bounty that wasn’t even high enough?”

To be completely honest, she wasn’t sure. Running into someone who had witnessed what happened to her first hand…someone who had survived…she knew there had been others there, tied up or incapacitated, but most of them hadn’t been conscious, or had run the opposite direction the minute the fighting began. She wasn’t sure how to process the new information or what she wanted to do with it, but she recognized that someone as powerful as Aria could be a real ally…if she ever did want to pursue revenge. As far as she knew, Nihlus was somewhere in the Terminus systems, outside of Council grasp, and she didn’t have the means or the mental fortitude to find him.

Instead of telling Garrus any of this, which would have led to a lengthy conversation she wasn’t ready to have with him, she just shrugged.

“ _Maybe_ I made a mistake.”

“Maybe, huh?” he laughed.

“Yeah. You ready to quit now, Vakarian?”

He shook his head and slung her over his shoulder, carrying her toward the fire escape. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” 

* * *

 

**2178  
** **Huerta Memorial Hospital  
** **September 30** th

Shepard had been reading a book on her datapad when Castis arrived with a large paper sack in his arms, his mandibles flicking into a grin. He shut the door quietly behind him and pulled the small guest table over to Shepard’s bed from across the room before taking a seat in the chair next to her bed and setting the sack on the table.

“You’re chipper.” She greeted him.

“Well, I heard from the nurses that you’re finally walking back and forth to the bathroom on your own and that they removed your catheter, so I thought we could celebrate!” She had never heard the commander quite so _happy_. It was a nice side of him.

“Kind of depressing when the biggest thing I have to celebrate is getting my catheter removed.”

“That’s poor spirit, Jane. I brought you a gift.” He reached into the paper sack and pulled out a bottle of _expensive_ tequila, a wine-shaped bottle, and two small plastic cups. He handed her the tequila.

“Uh…kind of hard stuff, huh?”

He blinked at her, mandibles twitching. “Is it? Chellick assured me that humans like it.”

“I mean, I _like_ it. It’s not exactly something you drink by itself.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I should have asked the clerk at the store, she was human…”

She shook her head and handed the bottle back to him. “It’s okay. I’ll take a shot of it. Lord knows I could use it,” she laughed. “And anyway, I appreciate the gesture. What have you got?”

He held up the wine bottle. “Cipritine Stillwine; my favorite. It’s hard to find a real import from Cipritine, but I managed to.”

Grabbing the glasses, he poured them both their drinks, handing Shepard a full cup of tequila. She stared at the excessive amount of alcohol, her stomach churning at the thought of drinking it.

“Cheers!” Castis said, clinking his glass of murky blue wine against hers.

She took as large of a sip as she could muster, feeling the alcohol burn all the way down her throat, then set the cup down on the table while she recovered.

“You really didn’t have to do this,” she told him. “I mean, it’s really nice of you, but we don’t have to celebrate every little personal victory.”

Castis sipped his wine and shrugged. “I have to admit, the celebration is two-fold. I’m excited about your progress, but I also just received some great news from my son. He was just accepted into C-sec academy. He starts training in a month.”

Shepard smiled. “That’s really great, Castis. Congratulations. I’ll bet you’re really proud of him, huh?”

He beamed, mandibles flicking into a smile again. “Very proud. He’s a good boy, my Garrus. We butt heads sometimes, but I love him.” He sipped his wine and shook his head. “He wasn’t sure about C-sec at first, but I think he’s excited now that he’s been accepted.”

“You should be celebrating with him, not sitting in this stupid hospital room with me.”

“No, it’s okay. He’s out with his friends tonight and I didn’t want to intrude. I’m having dinner with him this weekend to celebrate.” He was silent for a moment, staring into his cup. Then he turned and looked at Shepard. “You aren’t a burden to me, Jane. I’ve come to care about you quite a lot these past few months…like you were my own child. I hope that’s not crossing a line.”

Shepard felt an unwelcome pang in her chest. She stared at her hands with sudden interest. Castis had been one of her only visitors since the attack, the only person who seemed truly invested in her recovery. Her own parents had died years earlier when she was only sixteen and it had been so long since she’d had a family; Anderson had been the closest thing, and he was gone too.

The truth was, she had come to see Castis as a father figure, maybe even come to love him as one. Of course, she couldn’t bring herself to say that out loud; it was such an odd relationship: a turian and a human treating each other like family.

She felt tears welling in her eyes and blinked them away.

“It’s not…not crossing a line.” She shook her head.

Castis reached out a hand and squeezed her arm. “You’ll get through this, Jane. I’ll make sure of it. Look how far you’ve come.”

She finally met his gaze. “Maybe when I’m finally out of here you can introduce me to your family. I’d love to meet them.”

He smiled and nodded. “I know they’d love you as much as I do.”

* * *

 

**[Playlist link](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again and as always for all the wonderful comments and thanks to all who've been reading! I'm really excited about introducing Aria and Nyreen in this chapter/finding a way to incorporate them into the story since I love them both. I'll be posting more soon!


	11. The Point of No Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains explicit sexual content

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **June 10** th

There was no one in the station that Garrus could regale with stories of his bounty runs with Shepard besides Chellick, seeing as it was strictly supposed to be a secret, and much of what he had done with her was very illegal. He’d been itching to tell _anyone_ about the run in the lower wards, the failed hit on the asari, simply because it had been so exhilarating. Sure, he had almost died, but after the fact it had seemed worth it. Even though they didn’t get the bounty, the entire ordeal had been too exciting to really be upset.

It probably wasn’t great that he was so excited about a run where no criminals wound up behind bars.

He couldn’t help it, though. The lower ward was like nothing he’d ever seen; it was entirely terrifying. Yet the strange strip club, while also a new experience, had been far more intriguing than it had been frightening. He didn’t mind that the little act Shepard had thought up involved him getting closer to her; he thought he even noticed her skin jump beneath his touch a few times, but he really couldn’t be sure. He was so used to turians, he didn’t really know how to read signals from humans. Then again, she _had_ yelled his name mid-orgasm with Chellick.

He and Shepard hadn’t been out on a run since the night at the club, though Shepard had messaged him several times asking if anything had come up. Unfortunately, his software just wasn’t pulling any worthwhile hits in the system, and he was so busy with work still that it was probably better for them to take a break.

He’d still seen her several times since then, as she was now making fairly regular trips to the station to see Chellick, sometimes with Jack in tow. Jack always went looking for Lawson and always left looking pissed off, but it never seemed to deter her. Whatever Shepard was doing with Chellick in his office, Garrus was more and more convinced it wasn’t sex. She never left looking disheveled or sweaty as she once had, and he’d passed the office more than once and found the door open and the two of them chatting amiably. He wondered what was going on, but recognized Shepard would probably not take kindly to a question about it.

It did give him some hope, though. If she wasn’t sleeping with Chellick anymore, maybe it would be okay to test the waters with her. He’d been thinking about it constantly, to his shame. He would bring up new vids on the extranet only to be too embarrassed to watch them or too annoyed that the humans weren’t Shepard. He simply couldn’t find anything appealing about the humans in the vids, which made it fairly clear to him that his interest had nothing to do with an attraction to their doughy, fleshy bodies and everything to do with an attraction to Shepard: her muscles, her scars, the softer personality he caught occasionally beneath her hard exterior.

Sleeping with her was an incredibly stupid idea, one he couldn’t stop obsessing over.

 _We work together_.

Yet invasive thoughts of how she might taste, what the warmth between her legs might feel like, persisted.

If she wanted him, and he wanted her, why should he hold back? Already, in two short months, he felt far closer to her than he’d ever anticipated, never imagining he might see anything to her besides a steely bitch with a gun.

He wanted to see her completely vulnerable. _Desperately._

Much like the bounty runs, the only person he could possibly discuss the matter with was Chellick, which felt horrendously inappropriate on so many levels. He didn’t think Chellick would appreciate the conversation, but he wanted advice.

Ultimately, he didn’t have to make the decision to bring it up with the captain. It happened of its own unfortunate accord.

Garrus was manning the front desk of the station when Shepard swept out of Chellick’s office. She stopped in front of the desk and leaned down slightly so that she was at eye-level with Garrus.

“No hits on the software?” She asked.

He sighed. “Nothing. Unless you want to take down a volus that owns a fuel depot for five hundred credits.”

“Pass. I might have something though. Some intel from my friend, the information broker. Might be related to your big drug bust. Liara said there’s a turian by the name of Talid with a four-thousand credit bounty who’s known to hang out around a bar in District 36. He sells Red Sand and word is it’s the same supply that could be linked back to Plex and the volus. Might lead somewhere or he might just be some low-level nobody that’s just another bounty. I thought we could check it out tomorrow night. You free?” She stood up and folded her arms.

“Yeah, definitely. Why didn’t he show up in my system?” He wondered aloud.

“He’s not in the system, that’s why. No priors…somehow. Bounty isn’t on the extranet either. It’s only on dark channels. Liara thinks it could be a trap, so we should be careful. I’m not too worried if it’s up in District 36 though. I’ll ping you tomorrow. Let’s plan to meet around twenty-two hundred hours.”

“Sounds good. Can’t wait.” He grinned at her and she rolled her eyes.

“I’m really corrupting you, huh, Vakarian?”

“I’d like to think some of it was already in me.”

“You keep telling yourself that. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She walked away and he couldn’t help but let his eyes linger on her as she left, admiring the way the curve of her hip into her waist reminded him of a turian, intrigued by the fullness of her bottom compared to a turian’s. He was _so eager_ to see what she looked like under all of those clothes. How had it come to this?

He never noticed Chellick standing next to him until the captain cleared his throat. Garrus nearly jumped out of his skin, and when he faced Chellick, he found him with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed.

“Fucking children, both of you.” He shook his head.

“Chellick. I, uh…didn’t see you there.”

“How long have you had the hots for Shepard, Garrus?”

“I, uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Garrus had always been a terrible liar, something he hated about himself. During arguments with his sister, he’d never been able to convince his parents of any lies he told about her, while she had always been excellent at it.

Chellick gripped his arm. “Nice try. Come to my office.”

Garrus followed the captain, feeling like a scolded child. He took a seat in front of the desk while Chellick shut the door before stepping around to his own chair and slumping into it.

“So?”

“Is it that obvious?” Garrus asked sheepishly.

“Your eyes were glued to her ass, I’d say it was pretty obvious.”

“Look, I’m not…” His mandibles flared. “I don’t want to step on your toes, Chellick. It’s just a weird childish crush.”

“Sounds familiar.” Chellick rolled his eyes. “You’re not stepping on my toes, Garrus. Shepard and I…have a very old and complicated relationship, but I hardly have any say in who she fucks. You’re ten years younger than me and every woman in a five-mile radius wants to fuck you as soon as they look at you; it’s not really a competition.”

“Are you…um…?” Garrus couldn’t even bring himself to finish what he was trying to say. The conversation was awkward and embarrassing. Was the captain giving him _permission_ to go for it?

“You work together. I think it’s a fucking idiotic idea. But I also know that two attractive twenty-somethings with the hots for each other aren’t going to stay apart no matter what _I_ tell them.”

He had to pretend to be surprised by Shepard’s interest in him. “Shepard’s…um…attracted to me?”

Chellick looked miserable. “Unfortunately.”

Garrus stared at his hands in his lap. “This is really awkward, captain.”

“Well that’s what happens when you fuck around with bounty hunters, Garrus. One way or another. If you want a change of subject now, Shepard said you went after Aria T’Loak a few weeks ago. Are you fucking insane, Garrus? Do you know anything about this ward?”

Garrus’ mandibles flared, now embarrassed that he was being yelled at. “I didn’t know who she was. I haven’t been here long enough…”

Chellick rubbed his brow plate and sighed. “Don’t fuck with Aria again. She’s a criminal, sure, but she doesn’t do anything _really_ bad and she’s not part of the drug ring, but trust me.”

“You know her?”

“Peripherally. C-sec doesn’t mess with her and in turn, she doesn’t mess with C-sec. We keep our distance. If you’re going to go after a bounty you’ve never heard of, maybe consult me next time. Or get to know the ward better. Shepard told me you could have died.” There was a look of real concern on Chellick’s face as he spoke.

“I almost did. Shepard saved me.”

“I don’t have to tell you she can be dangerous and unpredictable.” He was clearly not talking about Aria anymore. “Stubborn, reluctant to form personal connections, easy to scare off with the wrong question. I’m sure you know all of this already, Garrus. Just be sure you know what the hell you’re getting into if you decide to be a fucking idiot and pursue this.”

“Chellick, can I ask why you’re giving me advice at all?”

“Because I know it’s going to happen. Might as well warn you.” He shrugged.

“I know I don’t know Shepard as well as you do,” Garrus said. “But…maybe you understand…there’s something I’ve seen in her. I don’t know how to explain it. She can seem so aggressive and scary and crazy, but then sometimes she seems so genuine and she’ll joke about something and I can tell it’s coming from some place softer.”

Chellick nodded, and there was a sadness in his eyes. “She’s shown you a little peek of the real her, hm?”

“Is it because of what happened to her? Because of whatever gave her that scar?” Garrus recognized that Chellick probably didn’t want to discuss it, and that it wasn’t his business to provide such intimate information about Shepard, but he was so curious about it.

“Shepard’s been through a lot,” Chellick answered cryptically. “Like I said, just be careful.”

Garrus stood up. He had more questions he could have asked, but he didn’t think it was appropriate to continue the conversation. It was awkward enough for Chellick to know that he wanted to sleep with Shepard, when Chellick had slept with her probably hundreds of times himself.

“I’m sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable, or…” Garrus tried to think of something to say.

“Just go, Garrus. And don’t tell me about it when it happens.”

* * *

 

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 36  
** **June 11** th

Shepard flicked through her omni-tool screen while she waited for Garrus to meet her at the bar that the turian named Talid supposedly frequented. She was sipping on a vodka cranberry as she scrolled, wishing she had shelled out for the top-shelf vodka instead of whatever swill they had mixed with the cranberry cocktail.

At least she wouldn’t get drunk in the meantime.

Tali had pulled as much information as she could find on Aria T’Loak and Nyreen Kandros earlier that week and Shepard had plenty to sift through while she sat at the bar. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the run-in with the asari, that someone else had seen what happened to her with their own eyes; someone else knew her intimate trauma. When she wasn’t obsessing over the possibility of reaching out to this turian named Kandros, she was thinking about how Garrus had almost died, how she never would have forgiven herself if something had happened to him, how she actually fucking cared about him. When the hell had he wormed his way into her good graces like that?

Probably around the same time she realized she wanted to fuck him.

Chellick had been _pissed_ about the run-in with Aria. Shepard had never really ventured so far into the ward or involved herself in circles that would have brought her into contact with the asari, so her name was an unknown. Chellick promised he didn’t know she’d been on Elysium, that he and Castis would have found her and brought her in to testify if they’d known anyone had witnessed what happened; she believed him. Chellick could be cryptic about a lot of things, but he had always been straightforward about anything pertaining to the case against Nihlus.

She was a little worried about him, though. Outwardly, he seemed okay. He was happy that she’d kept her word, which had been pretty fucking hard considering the sad puppy eyes he gave her every time she walked into his office. Hearing that anyone was in love with her inspired a great desire to run the hell away and never look back, but she knew she owed it to Chellick not to run, and to be perfectly honest with herself, what the fuck would she do without him? Especially now that she was tempting fate by even entertaining the idea of pursuing something with Garrus.

Occasionally, Shepard looked up from her datapad for any sign of Talid. Liara had provided a picture for reference, but she didn’t see any turians who looked like him. There were a couple krogan in a booth in the corner, two asari and a female turian at the other end of the bar, and a mixed group of people milling around near a standing table. The atmosphere was very ‘middle ward’, like the bar wanted to be a dive, but couldn’t quite achieve that lower ward darkness.

“You come here often?”

Shepard jumped in surprise as a deep voice purred in her ear. She turned and came face to face with Garrus, who was leaning against the bar to her right wearing a grin.

“Do I know you?” Shepard scowled.

“No, but I think you’ll want to.” He kept playing along, sidling himself onto the stool next to her. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Yeah, but only if you’ll pay for the top-shelf stuff.” She raised her eyebrows at him and sipped at the disgusting vodka cranberry in her hand.

“What do you like? I don’t know levo alcohol.”

“Doesn’t matter, I won’t be drinking it. I’m kind of here on business. Can’t get too tipsy or I might do something I shouldn’t.” This was one of those dangerous situations where she was definitely actually flirting, and she was positive _he_ was actually flirting, but there was still a nagging doubt in the back of her mind.

He put his hand on her knee, which surprised the hell out of her and sent a little shiver down her spine. “Sometimes doing something you shouldn’t can be fun.”

Was he still acting?

The door to the bar opened and a barefaced turian with brown plating walked in. He matched the pictures Liara had sent and Shepard was positive he was the mark. She watched him, still heavily focused on Garrus’ hand on her knee, as he crossed the room to the other end of the bar and took up a seat away from anyone else.

“That’s him,” She whispered, pushing Garrus’ hand from her leg reluctantly.

He followed her gaze to the turian at the end of the bar and then looked back to her.

“Now what?”

“Now we keep an eye on him until we can get him alone. Maybe I could approach him about buying some Red Sand,” she suggested.

“It looks like he’s looking for someone.”

“If we’re both staring, it’s going to be obvious.” She turned and looked at her drink.

“Can I get you something?” The turian bartender approached Garrus.

“I’ll take a turian brandy,” He replied quickly. The bartender nodded and stepped away to prepare the drink. “What if this bounty is a trap, Shepard? We don’t want a repeat of the events with Aria.”

“I doubt we’re going to run into anything so serious in District 36.” Shepard rolled her eyes.

The bartender set Garrus’ drink down; he picked it up and took a sip, his face contorting as he swallowed it.

“Why did you order that if you don’t like it?”

“I figured if I wasn’t tempted to drink it, I wouldn’t be able to get drunk. Just making sure I still hate the stuff.” He set the drink back down and looked past Shepard to where Talid sat. “I guess the best plan would be to just approach him about buying.”

“I’ll do that part alone,” Shepard told him. “No offense, but drug dealers can smell a cop coming and you don’t strike me as the type who would be good at lying about wanting drugs.”

“Why’s that?”

She patted his mandible. “You’re too much of a good boy, Opie.”

“Haven’t heard that name in a while.” He smiled.

She slid off of her stool, prepared to approach Talid about the drugs. All things considered, it was remarkably similar to the bounty that had first landed her in Chellick’s station several years earlier. As she passed along the bar, moving slowly and purposefully, a hand reached out from her right and yanked her to the side.

“Think twice, bitch.”

Shepard found herself staring at two asari. The one who had pulled her aside had drawn a gun discreetly and had it pressed into her stomach. She didn’t know the asari personally, but she inevitably knew another bounty hunter when she saw one.

“Four thousand credits really worth splitting for you two?” She asked, acutely aware of the gun pointed at her.

“It’s none of your fucking business.” The asari that wasn’t holding the gun spoke. “This isn’t your turf and we’ve been waiting here a hell of a lot longer than you have. You want to fight us for it or you want to turn around and walk away?”

“Maybe we could strike up a deal. You take the bounty, but if you get any info about his supply, I want it.”

The gun pressed harder into her stomach. “What makes you think you’re in a position to make any deals with us?”

Unlike the last run, Shepard’s gut wasn’t telling her to stay and see this one through. She’d lost targets to other hunters before, usually much higher bounties where putting up a fight might have been worth it. She wasn’t keen on getting shot in the liver, and whoever Talid was getting his Red Sand from, she doubted someone low-level enough to be shilling the crap in a would-be dive bar in District 36 would provide better intel than the supplier’s own intermediary.

“Okay. Fine. He’s all yours. I’m leaving.”

“You take your turian friend with you. We’re not stupid. If he tries anything we’ll deal with him the same as we would have dealt with you.” The asari jabbed the gun against her stomach as a warning.

Shepard would have liked nothing more than to punch the stupid asshole in the nose, but she was nothing if not self-preserving. Sure, she could be violent, aggressive, impulsive, _stupid_ sometimes, but only if she knew she could come out on the other side relatively unscathed. Getting shot over a worthless bounty just for the sake of winning didn’t really seem worth it.

The asari let her go and she turned around, stopping in front of Garrus.

“What happened?” He asked.

“We got sniped. It happens sometimes. Let’s go before they change their minds about shooting me in a public setting.” She grabbed his arm and tugged him along out of the door and back into the street.

“What a waste. Are you sure we couldn’t take them?” He glanced fleetingly back at the door.

“Even if we did, Talid would run in the chaos.” She shrugged. “Come on, Garrus, you really want to end up getting C-sec called on us? Kind of defeats the purpose of you not breaking any rules as part of our deal.”

“I’ve already broken a lot of rules.”

“Yeah, but if you got caught you could lose your job. And piss off the Executor too.”

Garrus’ mandibles pinched against his face. “So now what?”

“I guess we call it a night. Unless you had something else in mind.” She wasn’t sure why she added the caveat, possibly out of a blind hope that maybe he would want to spend some time with her outside of a bounty run. She was a little disgusted with herself for wanting to willingly spend time with him; she actually _enjoyed_ his company.

“Well, there is this little place back in our district I could show you. Nothing serious, but it would kill some time.”

“What is it?”

He grinned, “You’ll see, won’t you?”

She followed him hesitantly. Something felt _different_ that night, something that she couldn’t put her finger on. She was seeing some cool confidence in him that had previously been masked by his naivety. It suited him, and unfortunately, only made him more attractive in her eyes.

Billions of fucking turians in the galaxy, millions at least on the Citadel, and she just _had_ to be interested _Castis Vakarian’s son._

“So, Jack’s been striking out with Lawson, hm?” He made small talk as they walked through the less-crowded side streets of the ward.

“I don’t know why,” she laughed. “She’s so charming and gentle and coy.”

“I wasn’t sure if she scared me more than you at first, but now she definitely does. You don’t scare me anymore.” He glanced sideways at her.

“That won’t do. I’ll have to sneak into your apartment while you’re asleep and leave a horse’s head in your bed.”

“What?”

She sighed. “Never mind. Super outdated human reference.”

“You’re good at those.”

“You think Lawson’s just playing hard to get or does she really not want Jack to bother her?” Shepard veered the conversation back to where it had started.

“I couldn’t say. Lawson’s very tight-lipped. We’ve done a few cases together, but she only talks about things pertaining to the case. I tried to have a conversation with her and it was horrible. What’s the human phrase? Like pulling teeth?” He laughed. “So I’ve kind of given up on making friends with her. Maybe I shouldn’t though. I never thought _you’d_ spend more than ten minutes talking to me about anything besides a target and yet here we are.”

“Maybe Lawson just has a ghost that’s keeping her from opening up,” Shepard suggested. She was allowing herself to be far more direct than she ever had with Garrus. “It’s hard to gauge who really wants to know about those kinds of things from who’s just curious. Eventually you learn it’s better to be choosy about who you trust, who you tell things to.”

“What’s your ghost, Shepard?” He cocked his head.

“You know…one day I might tell you. Not tonight though.”

“Chellick knows, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, Chellick knows. Not because I told him.” Considering she wouldn’t have given the tiniest detail about her past when she first met Garrus, she thought she was veering into some very murky water now, but there was some part of her that _wanted_ him to know. The biggest thing holding her back was the fact that his father was involved in so much of the story she would have to tell.

“He was there? When it happened?”

“Kind of. It’s a long story.”

“I’m sorry,” Garrus apologized. “You said you didn’t want to tell me tonight.”

She reached out and squeezed his arm. “It’s okay, Garrus.”

_Who the hell are you, Shepard?_

This stupid turian, his stupid face, his stupid body, his stupid caring personality, all stripping off her armor without her even realizing.

“Alenko said he went on a date with Tali.” He changed the subject.

Shepard laughed. “Yeah, she told me about it. She said they argued about tech for half an hour and which omni-tool brand was more efficient for hacking security systems. I think she’s smitten.”

“I don’t think Alenko knows what to do. He likes her. I think anyway, just based on how he talked about her. I don’t think he’s ever dated someone who wasn’t human, though, and quarians are difficult to read because of their suits. Besides that you can’t really do a lot of the…er…fun parts of dating with them.”

“They have their ways.”

He stopped and stared at her. “What do you know about it?”

“Tali’s one of my best friends. She tells me stuff. It’s for me to know and you to find out. No…wait…that’s not right…”

“Tali seems nice. If you want me to find out…she _did_ say I was good looking.”

“She’s not interested,” Shepard replied flatly.

“If you say so…”

She nudged him with her shoulder. “You’re an idiot.”

He only grinned in response.

They walked on through the districts for some time, talking about her friends, or his job, or Chellick, or which bars were the best and worst in the ward, or how expensive the Presidium seemed after living down in Bachjret, or anything they could think of. Shepard was barely aware of how freely the conversation flowed compared to how stunted it had been during their first run together.

Eventually, they returned to District 42, and she still had no clue where Garrus was taking her. He led her down side streets he hadn’t been familiar with two months earlier, but she couldn’t think of one single thing the path might be leading to. She was simultaneously giddy and annoyed at his refusal to give her any information about their destination.

The side streets grew narrower, bending and twisting until they were in an alley not far from Chellick and Garrus’ apartment building. There was nothing to be seen, and the lighting was almost non-existent, just a dim glow from the front entrance to the dead-end path.

“What is this exactly? Is it one of those weird speakeasies where there’s a hidden door?” Shepard asked, looking around unsurely, tangentially aware of her heartrate increasing.

Garrus took a step toward her, then another, and another, until he had backed her into the alley wall. He leaned over her, one hand against the wall, entirely dominating her space. She could smell his cologne again, so fresh and enticing. What the fuck was happening here?

His face moved closer and closer to hers until it was so tantalizingly close that she could almost taste him, could feel the thin layer of static between their lips, his nose almost brushing hers; so close, and yet not touching.

“I have a confession to make, Shepard.”

She was barely aware of how heavily she was breathing. “What’s…what’s that, Garrus?”

“I know you said my name with Chellick.”

God fucking dammit. Was this all some setup? Some elaborate ruse to embarrass her? She was about to get angry when he brought his hand up and brushed his thumb against her lower lip.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” He breathed against her as his thumb tugged gently across her lip.

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck.

_Oh fuck._

“Garrus…” She tried to find any words, but all she could think about was his thumb on her lip and his face so close to hers and how fucking badly she wanted him to kiss her.

He withdrew his hand from her face and slid a finger along her collarbone; just that small touch started her heartbeat throbbing between her legs. His lips came closer, toying with kissing her, but never actually touching.

“We shouldn’t.” She didn’t mean it even as she said it, had only said it to placate some sense of morality after Chellick’s little speech.

At that moment, with Garrus leaning over her, so close to kissing her, there was nothing in the entire galaxy she wanted more than him.

“Why?” His nose brushed against hers.

_Because you’re a cop, because we work together, because you’re Castis’ son…_

“Oh God, Garrus…” She was losing her goddamn mind and he knew exactly what he was doing. She’d been one-hundred percent right about him: he might have been an inexperienced idiot about a lot of things, but sex was not one of them.

“Tell me you want me, Shepard.”

She _knew_ she shouldn’t, knew it was a bad idea, knew it could fuck things up on a level she’d never experienced before, but all of the blood was slowly draining from her brain, so she couldn’t be bothered to consider all of the reasons she should have walked away.

“I want you, Garrus.”

He crushed his lips against hers without a second more of hesitation, one hand sliding down to grip her waist while the other tangled itself in her hair. She could feel his subharmonics rumbling up through his chest and into his lips.

They had barely begun to kiss and she already knew, unquestioningly, that there was no possible progression of the evening that wouldn’t end with her naked on his bed. Now that his lips had touched hers, the thought of ever parting from them was pure agony.

She opened her mouth against his, his tongue moving eagerly to meet hers, his kisses urgent and rough as his fingers dug into the skin at her waist. The taste of him was so new, so exhilarating; it almost made her head spin.

His lips and his tongue parted from hers, moving to her neck to explore the skin there. She clutched at his cowl and craned her neck to expose more of her neck to him. She loved the rough feelings of his lips nipping at her neck, teeth just barely grazing her, tongue darting out to taste every inch of her that he kissed.

Her hand moved up the back of his neck to brush against the soft spot beneath his fringe and he moaned, quickly returning his lips to her mouth and tangling his tongue against hers.

If he was going to fuck her, she sure as hell wasn’t going to let it happen in this disgusting alley, but it felt like an impossible task to stop kissing him. They stood there, pressed into the wall, kissing for several more minutes before she finally had the will power to break her mouth away from his.

“Garrus.” She hadn’t realized how hard her heart was pounding in her chest until she stopped to try and collect her thoughts.

He traced a finger lightly across her cheek. “Shepard.”

“We should do this somewhere else. I’m not _that_ high maintenance, but this nasty alley isn’t ideal.”

“My apartment…” He took a reluctant step away from her. He was breathing heavily and his mandibles twitched with impatience. “Come on.”

He grabbed her hand and she let him lead her the short distance to his apartment building, only two blocks away. He’d obviously been thinking ahead about the proximity when he lured her into that alley.

Time seemed to slow to a halt as they stepped into the brightly-lit lobby of the apartment building. As soon as they were inside the elevator, he had her pinned against the wall again, lips pulling eagerly against hers, tongues tangling together. She hadn’t felt so dizzy and aroused just from kissing like that in _years._

It took a moment to realize the elevator had reached his floor, and then they stumbled down the hall and into his apartment. She was barely aware of what the interior looked like, vaguely recognizing the same general layout as Chellick’s apartment.

Garrus pushed her into the wall, his hands sliding down to grip her ass. Her hands were wrapped around his neck, both of them unwilling to halt their kissing for any major movement into the bedroom. Eventually, he hoisted her against his pelvis and she grabbed his hips with her legs and let him carry her, half-stumbling, into the open door that led to his room.

Once inside, she let go of his hips and his hands moved swiftly to the button on her pants. As he shoved them unceremoniously down her legs, she struggled with the fasteners on his shirt, eventually managing to undo the row of them and push the clothing from his shoulders. He nearly ripped her shirt in half pulling it up over her head. All the while, their lips had only parted when necessary, but when he reached her bra, the entire evening ground to a sudden halt.

He stared at the bra like it was a puzzle to be solved, observing it from the side and the front with a look of curiosity. He tentatively touched the bottom of it, where her underwire rested against the underside of her breast.

“Can I…just pull it off?”

She realized all at once that Garrus had never been with a human. All of the cool confidence he’d been exuding down in the alley was replaced with uncertainty. He’d reached the point where he’d realized she was different than a turian.

“There are little hooks in the back,” she explained.

“Show me, please.”

Oh, there was that Good Boy, asking ‘please’ even in the bedroom. She turned around so he could see the back of the bra in the dim light trickling in through the window. His finger traced the edge of her shoulder blade before it came to rest at the back of her bra.

“These things are for support?”

He was going to have no fucking clue what to do with her boobs.

“Support, fashion…”

One of his deft talons snagged in the hooks, unlatching them quickly. He slid the straps slowly down her shoulders and she let the bra fall to the floor, let him turn her around so he could see her breasts fully. His bemused look wasn’t exactly inspiring.

Why hadn’t she considered that he’d never been with a human?

One hand moved hesitantly to cup her breast, squeezing it lightly, rolling his thumb over her upraised nipple. Despite how quickly the intensity between them had come to a standstill, the moist heat between her legs was still throbbing, and now that he was exploring the feel of her breasts, her heartrate picked back up.

Unfortunately, a moment later he let go of her and walked over to his bed, sitting down on the edge of it and staring at her. She stood there, mostly naked, feeling incredibly awkward suddenly.

“Come here, please,” he said.

She was used to giving the orders in bed. Ending a request with ‘please’ didn’t quite constitute an order, but she was so desperate to feel him inside of her that she would have flung herself from the roof if he’d asked her to.

Slowly, she bridged the gap between them. His face was roughly level with her breasts from where he sat, and he grabbed her hips and kissed down the line of her scar, tasting each inch of her with his tongue as his lips moved, craning his neck down to kiss her hip and then sitting up straight again.

He pulled her onto his lap, holding her back with one hand and her bottom with the other, tilting her slightly to pull the curve of her breasts forward. His lips brushed against her sternum, kissing softly across her chest to her breast, nipping gently at her flesh; his mandibles flicked against her skin as his mouth explored the contours of her chest. His tongue darted across her nipple then swept back in a circle around it and she arched into him.

He had never experienced breasts before, and she was more than happy to let him take his time discovering every inch of them. Whenever his tongue brushed against her nipple, she let out a little gasp; he seemed to enjoy this response, because he repeated the action multiple times, subharmonics rumbling in response to the noises she made.

After a few minutes of this exploration, the heat between them had returned in full force. He kissed up her chest and brought his lips to hers, talons dimpling into her back as his grip tightened on her. Unlike Chellick, his talons weren’t filed down; evidence of the fact still remained in light little marks up her arm. When he gripped her back, she felt her skin giving way to the sharp edges. She was enjoying the feeling of his tongue massaging against hers far too much to give it much thought: it didn’t hurt _too_ badly.

Her hands snaked down to his pants, ready to unbutton them, but he pushed them away, grabbed her, and flipped her onto her back beneath him on the bed. His lips kissed a trail down the center of her body to the edge of her underwear, her last remaining article of clothing. There, his talons hooked into the band at her hips and he slowly pulled the underwear down her legs, tossing it to the floor and kneeling at the edge of the bed.

The anticipation of what she hoped came next made her entire body tense up.

Garrus pulled her to the edge of the bed with one swift yank on her hips, bracing her legs on top of his shoulders. He placed the flat of his palm on her stomach and ran it down her body, brushing it through the hair between her legs with his head cocked.

He was clearly _intrigued_ by her pubic hair, but he didn’t waste too much time on it, instead turning his head to kiss the inside of her thigh just above her knee, trailing his kisses further up her leg at an agonizingly slow rate. When he reached the crease where her leg met her hip, his tongue brushed once against her outer lips before he moved up to her opposite knee and started the process over again. He did this two more times before she started to squirm beneath him.

“ _Quit teasing_ ,” she begged. She hadn’t had a turian tongue between her legs in a very long time and she was so desperate for _his_ tongue specifically that she thought she would explode if he didn’t hurry up.

“But it’s so fun.” His subvocals purred.

“Garrus…please…”

He pressed his lips against the inside of her thigh one more time, then delicately moved his fingers between her legs, spreading her lips apart and sliding his long tongue slowly inside of her.

It hadn’t been _quite_ what she was expecting, but it felt fucking amazing anyway. Whether he meant to or not, his upper lip was rubbing against her clit as his tongue moved. How fucking long was his tongue? It pulsed inside of her, brushing against her walls like he was searching for something, no real rhythm to the movement, though that didn’t disturb the pleasure mounting in her body.

After a minute of his tongue snaking deeper into her, he pulled his face away and rested his head on her hip. She let out a long, loud groan and clutched some of her hair in her hands.

“Why did you stop?” She asked, propping herself up on her elbows to look at him.

His mandibles were pinched against his face with a sheepish look. “I have to ask you something embarrassing.”

“Fuck, Garrus, you just had your tongue six inches deep inside of me. What could you ask that’s embarrassing?”

His mandibles twitched. “Well…I’ve never been with a human before. You mostly seem the same down here.” He brushed a finger against the folds between her legs and her body shuddered. “But turian women…they have this little knot of nerves…right here…” Unexpectedly, he slid a finger inside of her, slowly and carefully enough to be mindful of his talons. She felt his finger brush against her upper wall before he removed it.

When she realized what he was asking, she laughed without meaning to. His mandibles pinched tighter against his face, brow ridge shifting unhappily.

“Don’t laugh, Shepard. I feel like some idiotic recruit who’s never been with a woman…having to ask you where your clitoris is…”

She leaned up and stroked the top of his head. “I’m not laughing at you, Garrus. It was just unexpected. Human women are different than turians in that respect. You couldn’t have known.” Had she ever spoken so softly to him?

Her hands wrapped around his wrist and she led his finger between her folds to show him where he could find the fleshy little bundle of nerves he was looking for. Once he felt it, she heard his subharmonics chirp, and she let go of his wrist to let him do the work himself, laying back flat on the bed once more.

For a few seconds, his finger moved in slow circles against her. She arched her hips to meet the pressure of his touch, and just as quickly he removed his hand. She was about to protest, when his tongue licked up the length of her slit and came to rest against her clit, tracing foreign patterns against it, his hands gripping her thighs as he moved.

Her body broke out in a sweat, heart pounding in her ears, tiny bursts of pleasure pulsing between her legs as the overwhelming feeling of an oncoming orgasm mounted. She bunched the sheets in her hands, gripped them tight; her back arched, toes curled against him, mouth fell open as little gasps of pleasure escaped her throat.

_So close…so close…_

His tongue moved faster, sliding inside of her and back up to her clit repeatedly.

All at once, her entire body seemed to explode in an electric jolt of pleasure, washing over her from head to toe. She was only vaguely aware of his name leaving her mouth in husky moans, her fingers reaching up to clasp at his fringe.

His tongue never stopped moving, sliding against her repeatedly. Her muscles were still contracting when the pleasure mounted again. Her moans devolved into whimpers of pure ecstasy; nothing had ever felt better than Garrus Vakarian’s tongue between her legs. Another wave of pleasure hit, her muscles spasming around his tongue, and then it was too much; she was too sensitive and he was still going.

She clawed at the back of his neck, intoxicated by the feeling coursing through her veins, but acutely aware of just how sensitive she had become.

“Garrus…Garrus, stop…too much…oh God, too much…”

He moved his mouth away from her and kissed her hip as she collapsed against the bed, her chest rising and falling heavily. While she recovered, he stood up and removed the rest of his clothing, climbing onto the bed next to her and tracing his fingers up and down her stomach.

“That was…that was…” She couldn’t formulate any words.

He kissed her shoulder. “Thanks for helping me.”

After a minute or so lying on her back recovering, she rolled onto her side to face him and saw that he was already out of his sheath, the dim light from outside shining in on his beautiful blue cock like a goddamn work of art. She kissed him and brought her hands against him, stroking up the length of his shaft, around the head, and back down. His subharmonics rumbled into her mouth.

“Shepard…” he gasped. “Your hands…so soft…”

She pushed him onto his back and kissed down his chest, finding all the tiny gaps in the thick plating covering his body and tracing her tongue across them. His subharmonics hit a filthy pitch she was all too familiar with as her mouth moved closer and closer to his pelvis.

The skin around his sheath was soft and leathery and she pressed her lips gently against it, nipping with her teeth, which sent a howl of pleasure rumbling up out of his chest. He looked almost embarrassed by the sound he had made, but not enough for his subharmonics to stop vibrating.

She kissed the base of his shaft and his legs shook beneath her. Pleased with the response, she licked up the length of him and touched her lips tenderly to the head of his cock. He moaned and tilted his head back.

Although he had spent ample time teasing her, she didn’t have the patience to do the same to him, though she had so reveled in teasing other men. She parted her lips and took him into her mouth as far as she could, using her hands to cover the rest of him, bobbing slowly up and down and swirling her tongue around the head of his cock with each upstroke. He tasted like most turians: slightly metallic, with just a hint of sweetness. Every time her tongue moved against his head he let out a strangled moan and bucked his hips gently.

His fingers raked through her hair, gripping some of it at the base of her skull as she moved. If he had never been with a human, there was no doubting he had never had a mouth on his cock: turian lips were too rigid, their mouths too inhospitable.

She thoroughly enjoyed the sounds of pleasure issuing from his throat, taking pride in the fact that she was the source of it.

The longer she held him in her mouth, the faster her movement became, until he was yanking on her hair desperately.

“Stop. Stop, Shepard!”

She sat up with concern, his cock throbbing in her hands. She let go of him and sat back on her legs.

“What’s wrong?”

Sitting up, he shuffled to the end of the bed and took several deep breaths. “That felt…amazing…too good. I didn’t want to finish too soon.” He turned and looked at her, his face suddenly very serious. “I still want to be able to fuck you. Just…give me a minute.”

Admittedly, she would have been pretty disappointed if he’d finished and then been done for the night. She hadn’t been thinking about it in the moment, only about the pleasure he was deriving from the act. While he sat recovering, she moved to the top of the bed and lay on her back waiting for him.

An entire minute passed before he moved away from the edge of the bed and joined her, draping himself over her body and holding his weight up with his elbows. He brought his lips against hers in a soft, gentle kiss that escalated quickly until their tongues were roving against one another. In a movement she was well accustomed to, he hooked her legs on top of his hip spurs, then he guided himself between her legs, sliding inside of her with a quick snap of his hips.

He was definitely bigger than Chellick, probably upper end of average for a turian, and even as aroused as she was, his size came as a surprise. She inhaled sharply, but as his hips found a rhythm, bucking against her, thrust after thrust, the movement became more fluid and she adjusted to the feeling of his cock inside of her.

God, he felt amazing.

The bed rocked with their movement; he buried his face against her neck and moaned as his hips moved. She was a little disappointed when, after barely a minute, his rhythm slowed. If he was already about to finish, she hoped it was because she’d spent too much time sucking him off beforehand and not because his stamina was just that low.

He wasn’t done, though. He only slowed so he could adjust his position, shifting slightly to the side, his weight pressing against her hip. The position didn’t seem remarkably comfortable for him, but when he thrust into her from this new angle, his cock slid across her clit with each stroke in and out.

Forget beautiful, his cock was fucking perfect.

She arched her back and clawed at his carapace. No one had ever felt better inside of her, no one had ever fucked her this well; every snap of his hips against hers sent a jolt of pleasure up her spine.

“ _Oh God…fuck…Garrus…_ ” Her words left her mouth in a moan. He felt so good inside of her, she was barely even able to formulate the words in the first place.

His speed increased and her breath hitched; he drove into her at a pace she wouldn’t have thought possible, his cock sliding against that tender nub between her legs over and over and over.

Too. Fucking. Perfect.

A familiar burst of white-hot pleasure exploded behind her eyes and her muscles clenched around him as he continued to thrust into her. Once she had cum, he didn’t last much longer. The kisses he planted against her neck were sloppy and rough, his rhythm grew clumsy, his thighs shook as a moan escaped his throat, resonating with his subharmonics.

“Shepard… _Shepard…_ ”

His hips jerked with a few last desperate pumps as he came inside of her. Once he had finished, he fell still on top of her and the two of them lay breathing heavily, Shepard coated in a thin sheen of sweat, both of them awash in ecstasy.

For once in her life, she spoke with utter sincerity.

“That was the best fucking sex I’ve ever had in my life.”

Garrus laughed weakly and nodded.

They lay against each other for several minutes, Shepard’s sweat and the wetness between their legs turning to an uncomfortable cool stickiness. Eventually, they forced themselves up to clean up, then immediately returned to the bed, so exhausted they could barely stand.

Beneath the sheets, Garrus curled against her and kissed her shoulder.

“You’ll stay?”

She stroked her fingers against his mandible. “I’ll stay.”

There was a feeling deep inside her chest that she hadn’t felt in a long time, a feeling that made her uncomfortable. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d had sex with someone and felt this way; it had been something more, something raw and emotional that she didn’t want to give voice to. In her gut, she knew that Garrus felt it too.

God, she really was fucked.

* * *

 

Art for this chapter by [Beth-Adastra](https://bethadastra-art.tumblr.com/)

**[Playlist Link](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early posting because I was really excited about posting this chapter. Hope you enjoyed reading it :) Plenty more to follow! Thanks so much as always to everyone who's been reading and commenting and leaving kudos. You're all so sweet and your comments are so motivating!


	12. Battle Scars

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **June 12** th

Garrus was surprised, but pleased, when he awoke to find Shepard had not run away in the night; that she was still lying next to him, sleeping soundly, looking more vulnerable than he’d ever seen her before. His night with her had been unlike anything he’d ever experienced. And just like the first time he’d run a bounty with her, now that he’d gotten a taste of it, he wanted more.

Unfortunately, the intensity of his affection was displayed clearly in the cuts and scrapes peppered across her skin. He hadn’t given much thought to his talons, so used to scratching and clawing with turian women. Shepard’s skin was far less forgiving; she looked like she’d been mauled.

For a while, he lay watching her sleep, content in the sound of her steady breathing. He didn’t want to wake her, but the longer he lay staring at her at her body, a body that was so foreign and new and exciting, the more he wanted her again. His pelvic plates stirred just thinking about it.

Eventually, he grew too impatient. He kissed her shoulder and she stirred, turning her head toward him, a mask of drowsiness on her face. She surprised him with a smile.

“I thought maybe I had dreamed last night.” She yawned, scooting closer to him and tracing a hand across his chest.

His hands moved eagerly into her soft hair. “Not a dream.”

“I don’t want to inflate your ego too much, but last night was fucking amazing. That tongue of yours…”

He kissed her neck, subharmonics purring involuntarily. “What if we just stayed in bed all day?”

Her soft hands trailed down his chest between his legs, sliding her fingers around his sheath, dipping gently into it until his erection came free in her hand; she grinned as she took hold of him. He’d never felt such soft hands, with so many dexterous fingers, to say _nothing_ of the things she was able to do with her mouth. Human or otherwise, he had never wanted anyone so badly, never reveled in the discovery of another body so thoroughly.

He’d been a little ashamed of how unprepared he was for her body. He had _seen_ breasts at strip clubs, but actually involving them in sex had been entirely new, even a little awkward at first. Similarly, trying to figure out where to move his tongue between her legs had been such a process; when he’d had to ask her for help, he could have died from the embarrassment. In the end, though, it had been worth it; he’d figured out all the right places to touch her to make her moan and shudder beneath him.

Their lips came together and they kissed for a while, hands roving against each other’s bodies. Her lips were so soft and pliable against his own, softer even than an asari’s; it was certainly a far different experience than kissing a turian.

“I’m serious.” He broke his lips away from hers with some effort. “Let’s just spend the day here. It’s the weekend, I don’t have to be at work. We could just stay here and fuck until our legs go numb.”

She kissed his neck. “I don’t have any plans.”

It was all the encouragement he had needed.

They spent the morning tumbling around in his bed exploring each other with their hands and their mouths. For a while, he felt like there was a bit of a power imbalance. She knew her way around a turian body like the back of her hand, knew where to find all the little gaps in his plating, ghosting her fingers across them to make him shiver and moan. She applied the gentlest touch to the skin around his sheath each time she wanted to coax him out, applying just the right amount of pressure to drive him wild. And in the in-between moments when they lay catching their breath, she would stroke the soft skin beneath his fringe with a surprising tenderness. Compared to her knowledge of his body, he knew so little about humans, but it didn’t stop his eagerness to learn more, reveling in the little noises she made when he touched her the right way.

As they moved, his bed shook against the wall, the sounds of their ecstasy swelling between them: unintelligible noises of pleasure, strings of meaningless words punctuated with each other’s names.

It came as a great surprise when there was a loud knock against the wall from the other side and a muffled salarian voice sounded.

“Don’t you have anything better to do!? Some of us have work we’re trying to focus on!”

Shepard let out a loud laugh. “Your neighbor doesn’t like us, Garrus.”

He was still moving inside of her, though his rhythm had slowed at the interruption. “Well, he’s a salarian. What does he know about it?”

Shepard smacked her hand hard against the wall and put on a loud, affected voice. “OH GOD! GARRUS! OH GOD, YOU FEEL SO GOOD. FUCK ME, GARRUS! YES! YES! YES! FUCK ME HARDER!”

He laughed against her neck despite himself. Between her affected shouts, real gasps left her throat, interrupting her little act.

“Come on, Garrus.” She kissed his mandible. “Try it.”

“Why? You’re doing a good job all on your own.”

“OH, GARRUS. I LOVE YOUR BIG BLUE COCK! FUUUCK!” She smacked her hand against the wall again.

“Stop it,” he laughed.

“You do it too!” She grabbed his face and smothered it in kisses. “Do it, Garrus, do it!”

“I still have to live here after you leave! I’m going to run into that guy in the hall one day.”

“C’mon, just try it.”

He sighed. With her legs wrapped around him, looking up at him with pleading eyes, he felt like he was seeing the _real_ her, one who didn’t mind showing affection, one who he was quickly becoming enamored with.

He snapped his hips against hers with a thrust, a tiny gasp issuing from her mouth, then he reached a hand up to smack the wall.

“SHEPARD! OH, SHEPARD, YOU FEEL SO GOOD! OH _SPIRITS_ , YOU’RE SO TIGHT!”

She burst into a fit of giggles beneath him. The salarian knocked against the wall and shouted again.

“That was pretty good, Garrus.” She was still laughing. He couldn’t help but laugh too. It took a while for their laughter to subside, then she gripped his cowl. “Okay, but really. _F_ _uck me, Garrus._ ”

When they finished, he lay on top of her with his head between her breasts listening to her heartbeat while she stroked his fringe and his mandible with her soft, delicate fingers. There was a surprising level of tenderness to the way she held him; he would have never thought her capable of such affection.

“Shepard…?” He spoke hesitantly.

“Hm?” Her voice resonated through her chest and into his head.

“I…I want to tell you something, but…”

As though she could read his thoughts, she brushed her hand gently against his head and said, “It’s okay, Garrus. I won’t run away.”

He shifted, holding himself over her to look her in the eyes, finding her gaze almost too intense to hold. “I really like you. Maybe that’s a childish way of putting it. I just…I feel an emotional connection with you. Maybe it’s because we’re friends, or…I don’t know. I don’t know what I want to say.”

She smiled. “It’s okay. I really like you too.” She pulled his head back down against her chest, cradling him there, a strange sense of contentment holding them together.

He was acutely aware that she had allowed him this closeness, a proximity he knew she didn’t grant to many people.

The tender moment lasted forever and not long enough. They eventually moved themselves from the bedroom into his shower, where their affectionate touches gave way to more passion. From the shower, they moved back to the bed, to the floor, to the couch, the dining table, the floor again. There wasn’t a single surface of his tiny apartment they left unscathed in their eagerness. They only stopped when they realized that they should probably eat something, with all of their exertion; Garrus didn’t have much levo food, only a few stale chips he’d bought when Alenko and Williams had come over once.

Desperate to continue touching each other, the experience still so novel, they ordered in food rather than leave the apartment. When it arrived, Shepard hid in the bedroom while Garrus pulled his pants on and answered the door.

He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he began to eat. It was nearly eleven; they had woken up before six and been rolling around his apartment ever since. He’d been enjoying himself too much to think about food, but now that it was in front of him, his stomach rumbled at the sight of it.

Shepard had no modesty, no need to pretend she was some Presidium-bred lady; she dug into her food voraciously, some of it smearing across her lip as she piled it into her mouth like a wild animal. She was nothing if not comfortable around him.

“Enjoying the food?” He asked, head tilted.

“I was fucking starving,” she answered with a full mouth.

The breaks between their romps had so far either been filled with a comfortable, affectionate silence, or else small talk about each other’s interests: not entirely emotionally meaningless, but a far cry from addressing the fact that their relationship had crossed a very important line.

Now that they sat at the table with more distance between them than they’d had all day, Garrus found himself thinking about it. He spoke before he could think about whether or not he should even mention it.

“Shepard?” He poked at his food.

“Hm?”

“What happens now? I mean with us. I still want to do bounty runs with you. I really _like_ our runs, it feels like I’m really doing something with my time.” He looked up at her. “I like spending time with you.”

“Why does that have to change?” She pushed the remainder of her food away and leaned back in her chair. “I like spending time with you too, Garrus...even if I don’t always show it. We can have a big talk about it if you want, but I really think we should just see what happens. I don’t…you know that I’m not the most emotionally available person. But we’re friends, right? And maybe this was a stupid idea, but I don’t regret it. Until it becomes a problem, I don’t see a point in talking about it.”

It was a better answer than he expected. “Okay. Yeah. We’ll keep doing runs and just…see what happens.”

They sat in silence for a moment, a tangible new emotion hovering between them.

“I should probably get home soon,” she said, checking her omni-tool. “It’s nearly noon now. And as amazing as this has been, I don’t know if I can take another round.” She grinned at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever had so much sex in one day; between your plating and your talons I’m starting to look like a war zone over here.”

She _did_ look bad, and he felt a little awful for it. He would have felt worse if it hadn’t been so damn enjoyable. If they were going to do this again, he would need to at least file his talons down.

“I’m sorry,” he said sheepishly. He didn’t want to presume that it would happen again. Their conversation of ‘let’s see what happens’ didn’t really address it. He decided to mention it directly. “Do you think…was this a one-time thing, Shepard, or…?”

She stood up and crossed over to him in a few short strides, cupping her hand against his mandible and kissing him.

“As soon as I’m recovered, we’re doing this again.”

His subharmonics rumbled. After the amount of time he’d spent exploring her body that day, the thought of never touching it again seemed worse than death. He kissed her collarbone and pulled her against him.

“Are you sure you can’t spend a few more minutes here?”

She sighed, gripping the back of his neck and letting him pull her onto his lap. “I guess one more time wouldn’t hurt anything.”

* * *

 

Shepard’s body was _raw._ She’d been with plenty of turians before and she knew how their rough metal plating could chafe against soft human skin, but usually one or two rounds between the sheets didn’t leave any noticeable or lasting damage. She had lost track of how many times she and Garrus had fucked on every surface of his apartment, but the damage was evident on her skin: red and inflamed everywhere he had rubbed against it. It seemed that every inch of skin that hadn’t suffered from the friction of his plating had been scratched open by his sharp talons. She had been able to ignore the growing pain it was causing while he was busy giving her the most mind-blowing orgasms she’d ever received, but once she left his apartment, she became acutely aware of how her body _ached_.

Of course, it had all been worth it.

Some small part of her knew it would culminate in this, even before she’d said his name in bed with Chellick, before she’d noticed that she was attracted to him. It had been a completely idiotic decision to ever partner up with him, knowing who he was related to, and considering he was C-sec anyway. Why had she done it? Had she let him in because she trusted him implicitly due to his relationship to Castis?

Whatever the reason, she should have been far firmer about the line of professionalism in their relationship; she should have refused to ever cross it.

But he was so fucking handsome and when he pressed himself against her in that alleyway, all she could think about was her own selfish pleasure and how badly she wanted him.

Yeah, she shouldn’t have crossed the line, but she would have done it a million times more for the end result. He was, without exaggeration, the best she’d _ever_ had. He’d spent so much time getting to know her body, making an effort to ensure she enjoyed every second as much as he had.

She would just need to tamp down whatever emotional bullshit had welled up inside of her every time they finished. There had been the barest of acknowledgements that they both felt it: ‘I really like you’. How goddamn saccharine.

When she reached the elevator at the end of his hallway, she had a million thoughts running through her head, all contending with the throbbing pain of her aching body. She wasn’t in the best mindset to deal with a curveball, so when she stepped into the elevator and saw Chellick leaning against the wall, she let out a curse without thinking.

“How fucking small is this ward?” She hissed.

“ _Oh, Shepard_. Where are you coming from?” Chellick greeted her with a look of disdain, his arms folded across his chest.

“Chellick, please spare me your ‘I told you so’, okay? I don’t want to hear it.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Do you really want to hear about it?” She sighed.

His mandibles twitched as he considered her question. “No. I don’t.”

He surprised her when he crossed the elevator and pushed her shirt up, examining the inflamed skin on her stomach, tracing a finger gently across it.

“Spirits, Shepard, how many times did he have to fuck you to leave a mark like that? Don’t answer that.” He added the last part quickly. “And look at this.” He tutted as his fingers brushed over the numerous cuts and scrapes she’d sustained from his talons. “The kid needs to learn how to handle a human.”

“Chellick, please.” She shoved his hands away.

“I’m sorry.” He put some space between them again. “This isn’t an ‘I told you so’, but what the hell do you plan to do, Shepard? What is the logical progression of this relationship?”

“Christ, Chellick, we just fucked. It’s not like we’re getting married! I don’t want to think about it, all right? It’s a problem for later.” She rubbed her forehead. “And I’m sorry because I don’t want you to have to know about this because I know it probably hurts, okay? It’s been fucking impossible to look at you! Every time I visit, you have those big sad eyes…”

“It’s nice that you care, Shepard, but I could have told you something would happen between you and Garrus even before you said his name in bed. There were too many factors. I’m not going to go home and cry myself to sleep if that’s what you’re worried about. I wouldn’t be in love with you if I didn’t know you so well. I’m pretty thick-skinned.”

“Why the fuck do you love me, Chellick?” She practically yelled the question. “What have I ever done to make you love me? I’ve used you, I’ve been cruel to you, and now I’m fucking Garrus when I told you I wouldn’t.”

The elevator doors opened onto the lobby, but neither of them moved.

“Why don’t you love me?” There was no accusation in the question. He was only mirroring back her own words. “You can’t control how you feel, Shepard. I never expected you to feel the same, so stop feeling sorry for me. If I could answer your fucking question without the help of a psychologist, I’d happily do so.”

She stepped out of the elevator before it could close and he followed her. They only took a few steps into the lobby before she stopped to face him again. She had swallowed her pride quite a lot lately and it was having the ugly effect of making her less of an asshole. Between forcing herself to be kinder to Chellick, and recognizing how raw and open she had let herself be with Garrus, she was really beginning to think flying into the sun might be her best next step.

“Look, I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

He shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

“God, you’re such a dick sometimes. Do you know how hard it is for me to apologize for my own actions?”

“Yes, and I take great pleasure in forcing you to do it.”

She smacked his arm. “Shut up.”

“You should put some lotion on your skin. And tell Garrus to file his talons.”

“Thanks for the advice.” She rolled her eyes and stared at her feet for a moment in silence before she spoke again. “Chellick, I have to go after Aria. I have to find out how much she saw…what she knows…”

“I think it’s a bad idea.” He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. “She doesn’t know any more about where Nihlus is than you do. You saw how powerful she is. She might be a great ally, but one wrong move and she’d be a very dangerous enemy. Nyreen Kandros isn’t any better. Trust me, Shepard.”

“Shouldn’t you investigate this?” She asked desperately. “She saw what happened to me! We didn’t know anyone survived that actually witnessed it…”

“Shepard, we have video evidence of what Nihlus did. What is the testimony of one more witness going to add to the case? He already had his Spectre Status stripped. Aria coming forward to say she saw the same thing the tape shows isn’t going to magically make him reappear so we can bring him in. What will allying with her give you? Think about it. I can’t stop you from looking for her, but I think maybe it’s time you consider burying your ghost instead of chasing it.”

“I can’t do that. As long as he’s out there breathing, I won’t ever really be at peace…he deserves to be dead, Chellick.”

He sighed. “For all we know he might be.”

“I’ve got to get home.” She ended the conversation abruptly. “I’m tired and sore. I’ll come by the station later this week, okay?” She tried to end things on a positive note. “Any big breaks in that supplier case?”

“Still chasing leads. Go on,” he nudged her. “Get some rest, Shepard.”

They parted ways outside the apartment building and she made the long walk back to her home. She didn’t realize how immensely tired she was, too distracted all morning by Garrus, but now that she was coming down off of an hours-long endorphin rush, hurting badly, she felt like she could sleep for a year; the walk to her apartment had never felt so long.

When she arrived home, Thane sat on the couch scrolling through his datapad, but the apartment was otherwise mercifully empty and quiet. She fell down next to Thane and stretched her legs over his, resting her head on the opposite arm of the couch.

“Where have you been? Did you change your mind about Chellick?”

“No.” She draped her arm across her face; the movement lifted the hem of her shirt, revealing the red skin beneath.

Thane pressed a hand gently against her stomach. “What is this, siha? It looks painful.”

“I fucked Garrus.”

She heard him make a sound of disapproval as he withdrew his hand. When he didn’t say anything, she sighed.

“Just say what you want to say, Thane.”

“You misunderstand,” he said. “I’m not upset with you, but now I owe Jack and Tali four hundred credits each.”

Shepard sat up and stared at him. “You guys placed _bets_ on how long it would take me to have sex with Garrus?”

Thane looked properly ashamed of himself. “I wasn’t going to get involved. Tali made me. I did think you would have more self-control, that it would take longer.”

“Is everyone in the house in on this?” Thane nodded. “Even Jacob?” Another nod. “Am I that fucking transparent?”

“Two attractive young people are almost guaranteed to want to explore these things. The added nature of his relationship to someone you care about meant a connection was bound to form. I apologize if we upset you…”

She rolled her eyes and settled back down against the couch. “It’s fine. I just can’t believe the entire house was in on it.”

“Wrex already lost. He thought it would happen two weeks ago.”

“Unbelievable.”

After a moment, Thane stood up and crossed the room to the bathroom, disappearing within and returning with a tube of lotion. He handed it to her.

“You should consider using some sort of lubricating oil if you’re going to see him again. I believe they make something specifically for turian plating…”

She grabbed the lotion quickly. “Thanks for the unsolicited advice.”

When she pulled her shirt over her head, Thane inhaled sharply at the sight of her. She did look pretty fucking rough, and applying the lotion stung like hell, but the stinging quickly gave way to cool relief; she would have bathed in the stuff if she could have.

“Where is everyone anyway?” She asked.

“Wrex and Jacob and Zaeed are out hunting a target. I’m unsure about Jack. I believe Tali is on another date with Officer Alenko. Perhaps he can replace Chellick as our C-sec agent of…”

“No one’s replacing Chellick.”

“You sound defensive, siha.”

“I’m not defensive.” She stood up. “Chellick will take care of things for us because we’re friends. I’m going to nap while everyone’s gone and there’s an actual chance for rest. I’m sure it’ll surprise you that I’ve gotten very little sleep and I’m incredibly tried.”

She brushed past Thane into her room, a room that was so rarely empty. Throwing herself onto the bed, she shut her eyes and fell asleep almost before her head hit the pillow.

* * *

 

**2178  
** **Huerta Memorial Hospital  
** **October 2** nd

“Lieutenant Shepard, Admiral Hackett is here to see you.” A human nurse stood in the doorway to Shepard’s hospital room waiting for her to respond.

Admiral Hackett had been by three times since she’d been admitted: one of the only Alliance officers to visit her at all. She wasn’t particularly close with the man, but she had always liked him. He had absolutely earned his rank: intelligent on the battle field, hard-handed when he needed to be, and never afraid to do what had to be done, even if it meant putting his own life in danger. Whenever he came by to see her, Shepard never doubted the sincerity of his concern. Rank had never gone to Hackett’s head.

“You can send him in.” She told the nurse.

Shepard was newly mobile, though movement was still slow and painful; she had decided to sit at the table across the room for a while and hold herself up in a chair. Dr. Velaxis had recommended regular intervals of supervised walking and sitting, but Shepard hated having the nurses hover around her, worrying themselves at every little stutter in her step, so she had moved by herself. She was proud she hadn’t fallen, then annoyed that walking across the room and sitting in a chair by herself constituted such a major victory.

The admiral entered the room a moment later, decked out in his dress blues, a serious but not-unkind look on his face. Shepard didn’t know how old he was, but she guessed he had to be near retirement, his age showing in the wrinkles lining his face and the grey in his beard. She gave him a salute as he entered; old habits died hard.

“Lieutenant Shepard, it’s good to see you out of the bed.” He greeted her, crossing the room and standing tentatively across the table from her.

“It’s good to _be_ out of the bed. What brings you here, Admiral?”

For all the time she had served in the Alliance, nearly seven years now, they hadn’t had much contact with her since the incident on Elysium, though Castis claimed they were involved in the investigation. Every day that Shepard had spent lying in pain wanting to die, she had wondered what would become of her military status when all was said and done. She wasn’t really sure she wanted to stay on with the Alliance, wasn’t really sure she’d even be _able_ to fight ever again, but she didn’t know who she was outside of her rank. Anderson had brought her into the Alliance and saved her from a fate worse than death at the hands of Batarian slavers; she almost felt like she owed it to him to stay on.

But every time anyone referred to her as ‘Lieutenant’ she wanted to kill them. The rank felt like a badge of shame after everything that had unfolded on Elysium.

Hackett had a look of pity in his eyes as he stared down at Shepard. He removed his cap and held it against his chest.

“Lieutenant, we’ve been receiving regular reports from your doctors and nurses, per your contract with the Alliance. I understand that there’s been improvement, but considering what you’ve been through, the doctors think it’s unlikely you’ll ever reach the same level of strength and stamina you had before Elysium.”

Shepard realized immediately why he’d come.

“Admiral, with all due respect, the doctors didn’t think I would live through the first night. It’s been six months now, so I’d say I proved them wrong.” Why was she defending herself when she wasn’t even sure that she wanted to continue serving?

“No one can doubt your resilience, Lieutenant,” Hackett said. “I can truly say I don’t know many other officers who could have survived what you did. I hope you understand that this isn’t my decision; it came down from the top. Anderson always spoke highly of you and I’m sure that if he were here, he’d be breaking Alliance protocol to fight this.”

Shepard stared a hole through Hackett, focusing all her resolve on controlling her emotions. Leaving the Alliance of her own accord was one thing, being forcibly discharged was another; as if enough of her agency hadn’t already been stripped away.

“Lieutenant Shepard,” Hackett reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a small metal box. “I’m here to award you the Purple Heart for sustaining wounds in battle. The Alliance thanks you for your bravery and dedication.” He spoke like he was reading from a script. As far as Shepard was concerned, he could shove the medal up his ass; it was only a consolation prize. “Because of the injuries you’ve sustained, the doctors and Alliance officials have determined that you are no longer fit to serve in battle. For this reason, the Alliance Navy hereby honorably discharges you of service. You will retain your rights as a veteran, including access to Alliance veteran benefits. As of this moment, you are no longer a member of the Alliance Navy and must return to civilian life.”

The words felt like a hand squeezing around Shepard’s heart. Hackett set the box with the medal in it down on the table, a deep frown on his face.

“I’m sorry lieuten-…I’m sorry Shepard. I know you were a good soldier and a proud marine. I have no doubt that with your skill, you’ll still be able to go on to do great things.”

“Please leave.” Shepard said quietly.

Hackett sighed. “All of the paperwork has been taken care of. I wish you a speedy recovery. Goodbye, Shepard.”

She didn’t look up at him as he left. Once the door had shut behind him, she picked up the box with the medal in it, forced herself to her feet with effort, and walked across the room to drop the box in the garbage.

She sat down on the edge of her bed feeling numb, too numb to cry, or else too angry to cry. Wasn’t this what she wanted? Didn’t she want to leave the Alliance after everything that had happened? Why did it feel so terrible?

It was because she had spent so many years of her life serving in the Alliance and as soon as she’d been hurt, no one had cared. It was good PR, probably: brave Alliance ‘lone survivor’ uncovers sex-trafficking ring on high-population colony. But they didn’t need her to cash in on the benefits, and if she would be permanently disabled, as the doctors predicted, she was no longer of any use to them. Her service had meant so much to her, and she had meant nothing to them.

Hackett was right, Anderson would never have stood for it.

But Anderson was dead.

She lay for a long time staring at the ceiling thinking about the past seven years of her life. It was one more fucking thing Nihlus and Saren had stolen from her. All the while, even with the evidence Castis and Chellick had accumulated, the trial would not be for another month thanks to political bullshit.

When the door opened, she wasn’t sure how much time had passed since Hackett’s visit. She expected a nurse to walk in, but instead found Castis.

“What’s wrong?” He asked immediately.

For a turian, he was pretty good at reading human expressions, or else Shepard was hiding her emotions that poorly.

“I’ve been honorably discharged from the Alliance,” she told him, not meeting his gaze.

He took a seat by her bed and patted her hand in that way he always did when he was trying to be reassuring. “I’m sorry, Jane. I had heard rumors, but I didn’t want to say anything if it turned out to be untrue. Don’t take it to heart; they don’t know what a mistake they’ve made.”

“They said they were operating under advice from my doctors, said it’s unlikely I’ll ever be back to my full potential.”

“Surely you don’t believe that?”

“It’s taken me six months to be able to walk to the bathroom on my own, Castis.”

“Considering you had to have all of your insides rebuilt, I’d say six months is pretty good.” His brow plate shifted. “It seems the Alliance is as impatient as you are. I’ve seen your progress, Jane. And if the Alliance doesn’t want you, I know that C-sec would be happy to take you, once you’re ready.”

“C-sec?” She laughed. “Yeah maybe as the girl who sits behind the front desk all day pushing papers.”

“Why do you doubt yourself so much? You’d make an excellent officer. In fact, we have several former Alliance officers in our ranks. And an honorable discharge is something to be proud of. I know it can’t be easy, but in time…”

“I appreciate that you’re trying to make me feel better, but it’s a little too fresh.” She interrupted him.

 “I’m sorry. Maybe the next time I visit we can discuss it some more.” He brought up some data on his omni-tool as he spoke. “The trial has an official date set now. Detective Laratus and I have been compiling all the data into a presentation for the Council. It’s fair to say we’re both more than a little frustrated with how long this process has taken, considering the evidence; yet another reason I dislike the Council and Spectres. Political bureaucracy at its finest.”

“I wonder what they have keeping them so busy that they had to push this trial off so far?” Shepard pondered out loud. “I guarantee it’s a lot of bullshit. In the meantime, it’s another month that Nihlus still has Spectre status.”

“We’ll get him soon, Jane. Focus on the positives.”

“I can pee by myself and Nihlus won’t have Spectre privileges soon. What a life.” She shrugged. Whenever Castis was around, she tried a little harder to be more optimistic, but she wasn’t doing a fantastic job considering the day she’d had. She tried to change the subject, to focus on something happier. “Did you celebrate your son’s big news yet?”

“Yes, we went out yesterday for dinner. He’s nervous about starting training. My daughter met us as well; it seems she has a new girlfriend, but she wouldn’t tell me anything about her. My wife thinks she might not be a turian and that’s why she doesn’t want to say anything.” Castis shrugged. “As if I care. I just want my children to be happy.”

“You don’t talk about your wife much,” Shepard said.

“My wife is ill. She’s on Palaven at the moment seeking medical treatment, so I mostly get to see her through vid links.” He sounded remarkably sad as he spoke. “It’s not the cheeriest topic of conversation, so I don’t often bring it up.”

“I’m sorry, Castis.” For the first time, _she_ reached out to squeeze _his_ hand in comfort.

He smiled. “It’s all right. We take each day as it comes. Keeping her focused on the kids helps, I think. She’s trying to get Garrus to tell her about Solana’s girlfriend, but he claims he doesn’t know anything.” He laughed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about the little drama within my family.”

“I don’t mind. Keeps my mind off of sadder things.” Shepard shrugged. “So you think your daughter is dating a non-turian, but you don’t mind? I guess I thought turians were pretty close-knit about those things.”

“Some are,” Castis explained. “Especially when it comes to humans, and especially those who fought in the Relay 314 incident. Personally, it doesn’t matter to me. Asari are generally level-headed, but too long lived. I wouldn’t really want to see my children with one, but only because the age difference is usually so extreme. Salarians…well, there’s nothing wrong with them I suppose, but they’re so _short_ lived. I do draw a hard line at krogan, but I doubt either of my children would be interested in one.”

Shepard laughed. “Sounds like you’re still a little picky. Got any problems with humans?”

“Most humans are impulsive and brash, but they live as long as we do and they have _some_ redeeming traits.” He smiled at her. “I guess a human would be okay. Depending on the human, I might even be pleased. If either of my children ever took an interest in you, for instance…”

Shepard’s face grew warm. “Oh, I, uh…”

“Sorry, I wasn’t suggesting… _ehem_.” Castis cleared his throat. “I only meant that you’ve shown me how resilient and brave humans can be. If my children brought home someone like you, I would think it would be an honor.”

His words touched her deeply, though she would never say as much out loud. She had to look away from him, slightly embarrassed by the conversation. Still, she couldn’t help but think that what he’d said felt like a far greater badge of honor than the medal the Alliance had given her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was kind of fun to follow the last smutty chapter with a little bit of fluff here. Also I just love writing about Shepard and Castis. As much as I'm shakarian trash and love writing romantic stuff, there's something under appreciated about platonic relationships in fic I think! Anyway thank you thank you thank you for all the kind comments and for continuing to read this fic!


	13. Single-Minded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: this chapter contains explicit sexual content

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **June 15** th

When Garrus arrived at work the first day back after his night with Shepard, he might have been a little too chipper. He passed Chellick at the front desk and the captain groaned at the sight of him and took a special new interest in his omni-tool data. Considering Garrus felt like he was positively oozing happiness, he wondered if it was as evident in his demeanor as he thought, if the captain had responded in such a manner to simply looking at him.

He couldn’t be bothered to worry about it too long.

He’d spent the last three days unable to get Shepard out of his mind, wanting to touch her and taste her again. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this way about someone and he knew if he didn’t temper his feelings somewhat, he was liable to scare her off; she seemed so volatile.

Barely giving himself time to sit down and log in to the terminal at his desk in the back office, he brought up his omni-tool and decided to message her. They’d exchanged one message in the last three days, initiated by her, much to his surprise.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.06.12][29:25]: Just wanted to reiterate. Best sex ever. Message if you get a bounty hit._

He’d read the message probably a thousand times since he’d received it. _Best sex ever_. He certainly agreed. Part of him wondered if it was so enjoyable just because of the novelty of it all, but he knew deep down that it was far more than that. He’d felt stupid when he’d tried to explain as much to Shepard.

‘I really like you’. What a childish sentiment. But what else could he say? There was a tangible emotion growing inside of him, but nothing else felt appropriate. The alternative carried too strong of a meaning.

He stared at the last message he’d received from her for a few seconds before he finally typed up something to send.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.06.15][9:31]: Will it freak you out if I tell you I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the other day?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.06.15][9:32]: The other day? Jog my memory?_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.06.15][9:32]: You’re the worst_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.06.15][9:33]: There’s literally no way I could forget._

She attached an image of her stomach, still looking raw where his plating had chafed against her, though it was far less inflamed that it had been when she left.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.06.15][9:33]: I feel really bad about that_

He had already filed his talons down in hopeful preparation for the next time, but he was still adjusting to the unfamiliar bluntness.

 _SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.06.15][9:34]: It’s fine. My cunt has at least recovered. That’s all that_ really _matters._

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.06.15][9:34]: I think Chellick knows. I might have been a little too happy when I walked in._

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.06.15][9:35]: Cute but he already knew. Ran into him on the way out from your place. Because this ward is apparently that fucking small._

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.06.15][9:35]: Sorry…_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.06.15][9:36]: It’s fine. Also not to change the subject but have you gotten any hits for bounties? Money’s getting a little tight and as fortunate as it was to lose that target the other night I couldn’t really afford it._

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.06.15][9:36]: I got a few pings on the way into work. I’ll check._

He sifted through the hits from his software. The first few hits were low-paying, probably not worth the time, but one of the hits was for a human who had been selling illegal VI units in Zakera ward. He had a Citadel-wide warrant out for his arrest and had last been seen in Bachjret. One of the manufacturers of the VI programming he’d hacked for his own units had offered a six-thousand credit reward for his capture.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.06.15][9:40]: Just sent over one that might be worth it. Have Tali work her magic to see if he’s been seen in any specific locations. We could go on a run once I’m off work at 18:00_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.06.15][9:43]: Looks good. I’ll keep you posted. If we can get him we should probably celebrate._

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.06.15][9:43]: Sounds like you have something in mind._

The next image she sent was wholly unexpected and his mandibles flared at the sight of it. Almost as soon as he had opened it, he closed it, looked around the office to realize he was alone, then opened it again.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.06.15][9:45]: Just to remind you ;-)[_

How the hell was he supposed to get any work done in the state he was in?

“What are you looking at, Garrus?” Chellick leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

Garrus closed his omni-tool as fast as he possibly could and stared at his blank terminal screen with determination. “Er…uh…”

“Mhm. I’m sure I don’t want to know. Look, it pains me to come in here and have this conversation with you, because I’d really rather ram a drill through my skull, but I saw the state Shepard was in when she left your apartment, so I feel like I _have_ to say something.”

Having a conversation about Shepard with Chellick had been painful enough when he _hadn’t_ slept with her yet. Garrus hadn’t exactly ever planned on having to discuss his sex life with his boss, but it really _was_ his own fault for sleeping with someone that his boss had _also_ slept with. What a clusterfuck.

“My talons, I know. I already filed them…” He continued to stare at his terminal screen.

“Yeah, your talons. Not just that though. Humans are a lot softer than turians, Garrus. You need to be mindful of your plating. I know this isn’t a conversation you want to have with me, but seriously, just…” Chellick sighed and brought up his omni-tool. “I’m sending you a document that I found… _helpful_ when I first started fooling around with humans. Consider looking at it. That’s all I’ll say on the matter. We’ve got some breakthroughs in the drug supplier case I want to go over with you, but let’s wait for Alenko and Williams and Lawson to get in. They were all on the case at some point, so I want them to be involved.”

“Sounds good, captain.” Garrus heard his omni-tool ping, confirming receipt of Chellick’s ‘document’. He was immensely relieved when the captain turned away toward his office.

At least a breakthrough in the case meant he’d be busy, which would hopefully mean he wouldn’t spend the whole day distracted with thoughts of Shepard; the picture she’d sent him had certainly not helped matters, and knowing it was sitting on his omni-tool was likely going to drive him insane at some point during the day. The distraction of _actual_ work was helpful.

The three human officers also on the case typically worked a later shift than Garrus, so it would likely be another two hours, until they were all present, before they could discuss the updates to the case. This meant two hours of busywork in the form of filing paperwork and reviewing the information on the case.

It only took Garrus ten minutes of idle clicking on his terminal before his curiosity won out over his embarrassment and he brought up the document Chellick had sent to him. It seemed to be a pamphlet, of sorts, with illustrations and descriptions, provided with almost clinical detail; the illustrations were a bit crude, but certainly conveyed the point: it was a guide of various positions for a turian and a human to take to maximize comfort and minimize chafing. He would have been humiliated by the fact that the captain had sent it to him if he wasn’t so intrigued by it. Would Shepard be impressed if he tried one of these positions? Surely she must already know them if she’d been with turians before, but then again, maybe the turians she’d been with had already known what to avoid because they had been with other humans.

Everything had been so heat-of-the-moment the night they’d had sex. Kissing her had felt so good and so right, that he’d figured the rest of it would go as smoothly; her breasts had knocked that notion from his mind, but once they’d gotten over the few small hurdles of their anatomical differences, it really hadn’t been so different than if she’d been a turian. At least, he’d never given thought to how soft she was and how fragile her skin could be. With some time apart, and having seen what his plating and talons had done to her body, he was quickly realizing there were some serious barriers that meant each encounter would require some thought on his part; he was more than willing to make the effort.

He closed the document Chellick had sent, and spent the morning going through his paperwork half-heartedly, his mind filled with thoughts of Shepard and all of the things he wanted to do to her when he got her alone again…as well as all of things he’d like her to do to him. His paperwork might have been inaccurate for all he knew, he was paying so little attention to it. He didn’t really snap out of his thoughts until Alenko walked in and greeted him.

“How was your weekend, Garrus?” he asked, taking a seat at his own terminal.

“It was…good. How was yours?”

“Not bad. Actually, I went on another date with Tali.”

Garrus turned around to face Alenko. He was intrigued by his relationship with the quarian, wondering where it might lead. “How did that go?”

“Pretty good.” Alenko nodded. “I think I really like her. I mean, it’s only the second date, maybe that’s too much to say. I had a good time with her. I guess I always thought quarians were really uptight and prudish, but Tali’s definitely not.” His cheeks flushed. “I mean, not to imply…uh, anyway, she’s really insane with tech and it turns out we like a lot of the same vids. I sort of already planned another date with her next weekend.”

“I’m glad you two are hitting it off,” Garrus said sincerely.

“It’s kind of crazy. I never imagined dating a quarian.” He looked to the doorway briefly, then lowered his voice. “Have you, uh…have you ever seen one without their helmet on?”

“Only in vids.” Garrus shrugged. “It’s my understanding that they have to take a lot of medicine to take their helmets off, so they only do it with people they trust, in very sterile environments.”

“Yeah…” Kaidan sighed. “I know. Well, it doesn’t matter. I like Tali for her personality.”

They talked for a few more minutes, but Alenko was far more diligent and dedicated to his busywork than Garrus was, and once he got focused on it, the conversation lulled. Williams was next to arrive, roughly thirty minutes later, followed shortly by Lawson.

Once they had all assembled, Chellick called a meeting in his office to debrief on all of the updates to the big case they’d been slowly building since Shepard had left Plex on their doorstep and helped them capture the volus. It turned out Chellick had been working overtime pulling the threads on each of the leads the volus had given them, chasing them down with limited backup and encountering some real trouble several times. It had paid off though, he’d discovered two things from the latest lead. The first was that the supplier wasn’t just operating in Bachjret, but apparently, Citadel-wide, making the drug-ring much larger than they had initially suspected. The second was that he’d dug up a possible name for the supplier and if the name turned out to be accurate, they might have to call in the commander, possibly even the executor. Chellick had recovered a few aliases the supplier supposedly went by, so the next immediate step was scanning the extranet for data on the aliases and connecting them to unsolved crimes in the system.

Garrus was relieved to have real work to do, and it _did_ keep his mind off of Shepard for a while. There were dozens of aliases to investigate, and each one turned up surprising links to crimes, some of them linked to other parts of Council space, and none of the crimes on the Citadel linking back more than a year or so.

Despite the distraction, he was still eager to see Shepard again, and had to keep reminding himself that they were going after a target and that she really _needed_ the money from the bounty, so he would really have to control himself.

When eighteen-hundred hours came around, he was mid-search on an alias, but he closed it out all the same, too eager to leave, knowing the work would be waiting for him in the morning when he arrived back. He barely took the time to say goodbye to his coworkers before he was out the door, where he found Shepard waiting for him on the walkway directly outside the station.

Immediately, he realized he hadn’t thought about how he would greet her. Was a kiss appropriate or too intimate? Their standard greeting was a simple ‘hey’, but that had been before they’d had sex. Was a hug a better middle ground? It didn’t seem like Shepard’s style.

He didn’t have to think too long about it, because Shepard approached him, grabbed the front of his cowl with one hand and the back of his neck with the other, and planted her lips on his, her tongue snaking into his mouth as soon as he was cognizant enough to open it. When she let go of him, he felt slightly dizzy.

She looked him up and down. “Damn, I really wish I didn’t need this bounty.”

He blinked languidly. “I could pay you six-thousand credits to kiss me again.”

“Hm, not really interested in a change of profession.” She rolled her eyes. “Come on, Tali’s helping us out today. She’s already on watch five blocks over. The VI guy sold some units in District 20 earlier and now he’s in our district planning to meet with another buyer. We’re the buyer. So far, though, the guy’s been hiding out in a hotel room; he probably won’t move until we get close so he can limit his exposure.”

“How did Tali track him down?”

She shrugged. “I never question her ways, I just use the info she gives me.”

The entire walk to the rendezvous point, Garrus couldn’t take his eyes off of Shepard, taking in every inch of her, remembering what she looked like beneath her clothing. He felt _ravenous_ in his desire and furious that he had to think about anything else at such a time. Did she feel the same way about him?

“Getting close?” Tali’s voice sounded on Shepard’s comm link.

“A few blocks away. What’s his status?”

“Movement in the hotel room. He won’t leave until I send a signal that you’re close; too paranoid now that he has a bounty on him.”

“We’ll be there in five minutes.”

Shepard turned to glance backward at Garrus and smirked.

“How are you holding up, big guy?”

He would have liked to pin her into the wall and fuck her until his legs gave out, but he was trying to exercise some self-control.

“How long do you think this will take?”

“Not long. I’m gonna rough him up a bit once we get him out in the open, just enough to knock him out. Then we can take him to the drop point and head back to your place. Sound good?”

He sighed. “I don’t know if I can make it back to my place.”

“That’s too bad. I’m wearing something under my clothes that I think you’ll like…if you’re patient.”

His mind went wild with the possibilities.

They walked another ten minutes and stopped at the intersection of two busy streets. Shepard folded her arms and leaned against the wall and Garrus couldn’t help but reach out and stroke her hair. There was nothing even comparable to hair on a turian and he was completely enthralled with how silky it felt between his fingers.

She looked up at him and he saw the smallest hint of the softness she hid beneath her layers of steely armor.

“I should tell Tali we’re here.”

He let his hand slide from her hair to her cheek. “It could wait a few minutes, couldn’t it?”

He couldn’t help himself. He pressed his lips against her neck, his tongue darting out to taste her skin. She clutched at his cowl.

“Garrus…I appreciate the enthusiasm, but…” She breathed heavily. “I really need this bounty.”

Now that he was touching her, he didn’t want to let go. He kissed up her neck to her jaw and felt her shiver beneath him.

“Look at this shit! Bird fucker!”

A voice sounded across the street and Garrus let go of Shepard immediately. He turned his attention to the person who had yelled at them: a human, likely around the same age as Shepard, flanked by two of his friends.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Shepard took a step toward him.

“I said you’re a bird fucker! Disgusting! You’re a hot bitch too, what the fuck are you doing with a bird?”

Garrus bristled. There was certainly no shortage of humans who hated turians and vice versa; their galactic relationship had not had the best start with the Relay 314 incident. He had rarely encountered direct vitriol on the street, though. Once in a long while he might hear a human yell some crude name at him, but he got flack more often for being a C-sec officer than turian. Then again, he had never groped a human in public either.

“Oh, I’m a ‘hot bitch’? God, I’m so fucking flattered you think so!” Shepard yelled, taking another step toward the three men across the street.

“Shepard, you shouldn’t…” Garrus grabbed her arm.

“Back off, Garrus. I’m handling it.”

“Oh shit, birdy, you must be a real fucking pussy if you’re letting your bitch do all the fighting for you.” One of the other humans spoke. “I thought you were supposed to be the best fighters in the galaxy or some shit.”

“Never mind.” Garrus let go of her. “Go for it.”

Shepard launched herself forward, running at full speed toward the men. For a moment, they all laughed, clearly, _stupidly_ not afraid. As she drew closer, however, fear quickly began to show in their eyes. One of them ran in the opposite direction while the other two ran headlong into each other. Shepard slammed into them and knocked them to the ground, focusing all her ire on the first man that had called her a ‘bird fucker’.

“Call me a bird fucker now!” She screamed, slamming her fists into the man’s face. “ _Come on!_ Call me a bird fucker!” The man struggled and shouted beneath her, spluttering with each contact of her hand against his skull, blood flying from his mouth. “Or are you just yelling at random people on the street because you don’t think they’ll fight back, hm? Or is it because your dick is so small that you’re jealous of anything bigger than you?” She stopped punching him and grabbed his neck, squeezing tightly. “I _am_ fucking that turian. Does that make you mad, little boy? That a turian could fuck me better than someone like you could ever hope to?”

“You’re fucking crazy!” The man choked, clawing at her hands.

“I am. But not for this.” She punched him one more time, rendering him unconscious, then slumped off of him, wiping some sweat from her forehead.

Garrus felt a little bad for feeling turned on by the whole outburst; his pelvic plates had come partially open watching her beat the shit out of that asshole.

Shepard stood up and crossed back over to where Garrus stood.

“Sorry. I might be a little sensitive about that name.” She smiled when she noticed the look on his face. “Not so different than any other turian, are you, Garrus?”

If he had wanted her before, he was ready to rip her clothes off now.

_Think about the target. Think about the target. Think about the target…_

“We’ll see if our guy is still here. If he heard the commotion I was making, he might have gotten scared. Tali, we’re at the meeting spot. What’s the word?” She spoke into her comm link.

“Still in the room. I’ll send the signal. Be ready to meet him on the corner.” Tali responded quickly.

Garrus and Shepard waited, attempting to look casual as they stood on the corner against the wall. Several people passed by and Garrus assessed each human to try make a positive match with the picture from the warrant in the system.

After a few minutes, a squat little bald man stopped a few feet away from them, carrying a large rucksack on his back. He looked around nervously, then took a step closer, still leaving ample distance between them. Garrus couldn’t help but think that it didn’t matter how close he got, either of them could outrun him easily.

“You interested in what I’ve got?” The man asked quietly.

“Yeah. What’s the going rate?” Shepard nodded toward his rucksack.

“I’ve got a few different units. What’s your price range?”

“Not looking to spend more than seven thousand.”

“Seven thousand? You must think I’m cheap. You’d pay twenty-thousand for units like these on the Presidium,” he growled.

“Yeah, but those have legal licenses, don’t they?”

“I can go fifteen thousand. No way I can do seven.”

Shepard bridged the distance between herself and the vendor in a few quick steps, so quickly that the man barely had time to register it was happening before her hand was at his throat.

“Sorry buddy, but I can’t do fifteen. And it turns out six thousand is actually the lucky number.”

“F-fuck!” The man tried to get away, but she stuck her foot against his leg, causing him to stumble forward face-first onto the ground. She climbed onto his back and removed the rucksack, tossing it to Garrus. He nearly missed it, too enthralled in watching her beat someone up again.

“Two ways to do this,” Shepard said, pinning the man’s hands behind his back. “I knock you out with my fists, or you come willingly. Which will it be?”

“Fuck you, bounty hunter!” The man cried, struggling in vain beneath her.

“So the hard way, I guess.” She slammed her fist into the side of his neck, just under his jaw. One well-placed hit and he fell limp. “Idiot.”

“That was fast,” Garrus commented.

“Well, I wanted it to be. The sooner we get him to the drop point, the sooner I get the money, and the sooner we get to fuck.” Shepard grinned at him.

He was almost embarrassed at the fact that he was practically out of his sheath and he’d barely touched her.

She knelt down and hoisted the man over her shoulders, her muscles rippling with the effort. He had to focus on something besides her body, besides the little drawings from Chellick’s pamphlet playing out in his head: Shepard bent in all different ways over every surface of his apartment.

“Give the bag to Chellick. I know the guy has a warrant out. Those VI units are illegal, so C-sec can claim them.” She said as she carried the vendor along the road. “Where’s this drop point anyway?”

Garrus brought up his omni-tool and sighed when he saw the coordinates. “It’s up on the Presidium.”

“The Presidium?” She groaned. “We’ll have to get a shuttle.”

“I’ll call for a private shuttle now. It won’t take long.”

He tapped on his omni-tool to summon a skycar and they waited on the side of the street until it arrived. When it pulled up alongside them, Shepard tossed the unconscious target in the back of the car and climbed into the driver’s seat. Garrus settled into the passenger seat next to her and set the coordinates for the drop point. The readout on the screen gave an ETA of twenty minutes.

“Twenty minutes!?” Shepard cursed under her breath. “Why the fuck is the drop point on the Presidium?”

“The VI vendor probably has an office there.” Garrus was equally frustrated with the length of time it would take. It meant another twenty minutes back to his apartment once they retrieved the bounty.

“I guess it’s worth six-thousand credits.” She turned to him with a grin. “I could give you a sneak peak of what I’m wearing in the meantime?”

His pelvic plates were already nearly fully open and he was threatening to come out of his sheath. He’d calmed himself somewhat trying to think about paperwork while they’d waited for the shuttle to arrive, but just the thought of whatever she was hiding under her clothes threatened to push him over the edge. He hadn’t been so responsive to such small stimuli since he was a teenager.

“Show me,” he begged.

She pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a thin, black silk collar with a connected piece extending in a taut line down her torso between her breasts and culminating in a circle around her waist. This was turian lingerie; where she had found one that fit her was beyond him, but the sight of the silk encircling her waist was the last straw. His erection slid out of his sheath as his eyes roved up and down her body, the skin still slightly red from the friction of his plating.

“I’m taking your stunned silence to mean you like it,” She laughed and pulled her shirt back on. The noise he made in response was entirely pathetic. “Don’t worry, you’ll get to touch me soon enough.”

“Where…where did you…?”

“Oh, I had it made a while ago.” She shrugged. “I briefly dated this turian like…three years ago. We only dated for maybe two months, but we went to that little sex shop in the Presidium District 9 and he saw one and said he wished they made it for humans. So I bought the silk and took it to a tailor and had one made for me. It’s funny, I think we broke up before I could ever wear it for him. Chellick liked it though.”

The thought of Chellick touching her nearly killed his arousal. His subharmonics buzzed involuntarily and he looked out the window, embarrassed by the sound he’d made and the little prick of jealousy he’d felt.

Her hand brushed the inside of his thigh and his skin jumped. “I’m not sleeping with Chellick anymore, Garrus.”

He hadn’t been expecting _that,_ though he had been hopeful about the possibility. He turned to meet her gaze. “What?”

“I shouldn’t tell you.” She sighed and let go of his leg. “You can’t say anything to him, okay? Don’t act weird around him. Please?”

“What is it, Shepard?”

“A few weeks ago, he told me he loved me.”

He _definitely_ hadn’t been expecting that. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words came out. The conversations he’d had with the captain over the past week took on a whole new light in consideration of this newfound knowledge. He was _in love_ with Shepard and giving Garrus advice about how to sleep with her? He was either self-loathing or _far_ too selfless.

“I’m telling you this because I trust you, okay? You can’t repeat it because it would be a huge violation of Chellick’s trust in me. I do love him…as a friend. Even that’s hard to say. But I’m not _in love_ with him. When he told me…I couldn’t…I couldn’t keep sleeping with him knowing how he felt. Even though he said it didn’t matter and he knew I’d never feel the same and he didn’t expect me to change my mind. I know I can be pretty fucking cruel, but…I couldn’t do it. It felt too selfish. But I care about him and I don’t want to abandon our friendship because of this, so…we’re working on it, but I won’t sleep with him again.”

Part of Garrus felt relieved; she had been open and honest with him, which was fairly new and an important step in their own friendship, but it was also a relief to know she truly didn’t feel the same as Chellick did. It certainly wasn’t Garrus’ place to hope she wouldn’t sleep with the captain again, or to suggest that he didn’t want her to, so knowing she wasn’t going to anyway put his mind at ease.

“That was a really good thing that you did, Shepard.” He told her honestly. “The captain is a good guy.”

“I know he is.” There was a hint of sadness in her eyes. She shook it off. “Anyway, you don’t have to make that little jealous noise again. Don’t argue, I heard you make it.”

He didn’t protest, though he had been prepared to. Instead, he glanced at the skycar’s display screen and was dismayed to find they still had ten minutes until they reached their destination. Despite the short conversation, his erection was still throbbing between his legs, and the image of Shepard’s lingerie kept darting through his mind.

“Is this the slowest shuttle or what?” Shepard asked after another minute.

He laughed. “I think it might be.”

She shifted to face him better and rested her hand on his knee. He watched her fingers as they tiptoed slowly up the inside of his thigh and brushed lightly against his erection through his pants. His heartrate sped up and his subharmonics rumbled.

“I’m not positive I can make it all the way back to your apartment, Garrus.”

“Me either,” he said, swallowing hard.

She leaned back in her chair and groaned. “Can this thing go ANY faster?”

“That’s the problem with Citadel shuttles.”

The next five minutes passed at an agonizingly slow rate. When the skycar finally made its descent outside a building in District 3 of the Presidium, Shepard bolted out of her seat and yanked the target from the back of the car. Slumping him over her shoulders, she ran inside the building before Garrus could even move. He waited, scanning the building entrance for her return. After nearly ten minutes, she ran back out and leaped into the driver’s seat again, ramming her fingers against the display screen in a hurry and typing in coordinates he was unfamiliar with.

“Where are we going?” He asked.

“Somewhere close. Take your pants off.” She pulled her shirt over her head as the skycar sped up toward the high artificial ceiling of the Presidium.

He was a little concerned about the fact that it was illegal to drive a skycar to the top of the Presidium, but his erection seemed like a far more pressing matter, so he unbuttoned his pants and shuffled them down past his hips, unhooking the fabric from his leg spurs and kicking it off onto the floor of the car. Shepard was also trying to remove her pants, which was proving to be a struggle in the cramped space of the drivers’ seat. She managed, after several seconds of squirming and contorting in the small space, to kick the pants off of her legs. They fell across the steering wheel while she unlatched her bra and shoved her underwear off.

“Shepard…?” He couldn’t take his eyes off of her with that silk wrapped around her neck and her waist.

The skycar reached the top of the Presidium and skidded to a halt on the overhang of the top of the buildings. From that height, the look down was dizzying, made worse by the curve of the Presidium’s circular shape. When the shuttle had stopped completely and shut off, Shepard climbed over the barrier between the two front seats and straddled Garrus’ lap.

“We’re doing this right here?” He had never had sex in a car in his life.

“Right here.” She kissed him roughly. “Can’t wait.”

He pulled her against him, tracing his hands down her back to her bottom and squeezing the soft flesh while her lips moved to his neck. She nipped at his skin; the bluntness of her tiny teeth felt incredible against his scales.

“You trimmed your talons,” she whispered.

“After last time…”

She adjusted herself, straddling one of his thighs and sliding her hand around his cock. For a moment, he couldn’t think about anything except the feeling of all of those soft fingers sliding up and down the length of him. Meanwhile, she was rubbing herself against his thigh, the heat between her legs already slick.

As good as her hand felt against him, he was desperate to be inside of her, with none of the patience he’d reserved the first night they’d slept together. His hands grabbed at her hips and he traced one finger down the line of silk running across her sternum, down over her bellybutton to circle around her waist. She let go of him and let him pull her forward so that he could explore her breasts with his tongue.

Breasts were a whole new world to him, one he was still trying to figure out. They were incredibly soft and supple, which he liked, and when he touched her, her nipples sprang up to meet his touch. She made a particularly compelling noise when he licked her nipples, one he enjoyed far too much. He ran his tongue across one of them and she gasped, arching her back to increase the pressure of his kiss.

“Garrus,” she reached down and grabbed his cock. “I’m ready.”

Still holding her hips, he helped her as she settled down against him, enveloping him in her tight, wet heat. _Spirits,_ but she _was_ tight; tighter than any turian he’d ever been with. What should have been a reminder of the fact that their bodies weren’t made for one another instead felt too incredible for words. Considering just how tight she was, he had worried the first time that it might hurt her, but the little moans of pleasure she’d made as he moved had reassured him that it felt as good for her as it had for him.

She rocked her hips slowly back and forth, raising herself slightly and then shifting back down so that all he had to do was hold onto her and enjoy the sensation. Her hands gripped at his cowl as her lips met his, her tongue pressing into his mouth where he met it with equal pressure from his own. A soft moan escaped her throat as she grinded against him.

His grip tightened, blunt talons dimpling into her flesh. She broke her lips away and pressed her face against his neck, eyes squeezing shut.

“Fuck, Garrus…” Her tiny, ineffective nails scratched at his carapace. “Fuck! You feel so good…”

“ _Shepard_ ,” he gasped.

“ _Oh God_ …I never want you to stop fucking me.”

He never wanted to stop either. Her hips moved faster, her clit rubbing against his pelvis as she moved. Her grip on his cowl tightened. He bucked his hips to meet her movements, not even entirely aware he was doing it.

This had been one of the positions suggested by Chellick’s little document. The only hindrance was that her legs were splayed at a slightly awkward angle because of his hip spurs, but at least his chest plating wasn’t rubbing against her. She didn’t seem to mind the position at any rate, too wrapped up in their shared pleasure.

As she moved faster and he thrust his hips against her, he could feel the pleasure mounting. Her nails scratched desperately at the plating on the back of his neck, lips moving clumsily against his skin as short, shallow breaths escaped her throat.

From deep within his chest, his subharmonics began to rumble, vibrating across his whole body, maybe even up and into her. A series of moans left her mouth, devolving into whimpers. She said his name, followed by a string of unintelligible noises that his translator couldn’t process. She rocked her body faster as his grip tightened; if he hadn’t trimmed his talons, he might have drawn blood. He could barely think straight except to process the feeling of her teeth grazing against his neck, nails sliding across his plating.

“ _Garrus!”_

Her muscles clamped down around him, pulsing rhythmically as she let out a long, loud moan against him. The moan petered out in stuttering waves, her muscles still contracting around him. She stopped moving and her head fell against the little nook between his neck and his cowl. He wasn’t done yet, though, and her back arched slightly as he continued to thrust into her; weak little gasps issued from her mouth as he moved.

It didn’t take long after she had finished for his pleasure to reach its peak. He pumped desperately into her, holding her bottom, shifting his hands up to the curve of her back. _A little more…a little more…_

A burst of pleasure exploded behind his eyes and his mind went blank as his body continued to move of its own accord, hips rocking into her a few last times as he spilled his seed inside of her. Then he fell still, loosening his grip and resting his hands gently against her back.

They were silent for a moment, but it was a comfortable silence; he felt tired and content.

Slowly, Shepard shifted, placing a hand on either side of his face and brushing her nose against his in a surprising display of affection.

“You’re really something else,” she said.

His subharmonics hummed. He ran a hand through her hair and kissed her. “You too.”

“I guess we should get out of here before C-sec catches us at the top of the Presidium, huh?”

“I _guess_.”

The shuttle wasn’t exactly comfortable, but he didn’t want to stop touching her. He felt a rush of emotions every time he had sex with her, different than other women he had been with; something about their interaction was _intimate_ in a way he couldn’t pinpoint. Maybe it was because he recognized she let so few people that close to her, that trusting him was an act of vulnerability far more meaningful than just sharing her body with him. He had a desperate desire to know her inside and out, and each time they were together, he seemed to learn a little more. But one huge mystery still remained: the source of the trauma that left its mark across her torso.

They took the shuttle back to his apartment and spent the evening testing out the new positions he’d learned from Chellick’s pamphlet. He knew that work would only become busier the further they delved into the drug supplier case, so he wanted to spend as much time with her as he could before his work consumed him.

She left in the morning, before he had to work, but not before one more round between the sheets. They walked to the station together and he had a hard time letting go of her, kissing her repeatedly before they finally parted ways.

As he predicted, the search to connect the supplier’s aliases to crimes grew with each new finding in the system. Each night he ended up staying later at work to deal with the growing caseload; Alenko, Williams, Lawson, and Chellick were all pulling later shifts as well. The case was serious, and if their station was the one to crack it open, it could mean more funds for the district, and possibly even a promotion for the captain.

Shepard messaged periodically, asking about hits on Garrus’ software and then quickly veering the conversation to one of a more sexual nature. For the first few days, Garrus hadn’t been able to meet with her at all, and it was driving him crazy; a problem not helped by the lewd pictures she would send him at the most inappropriate times. He had to put her off repeatedly because of his workload, until she told him to meet her during a break at the building where he shot at mechs for target practice. There, they found the time to be together: quick bursts of passion, some little coos and trills of affection in the afterglow, and then he had to hurry back to the station to return to work.

This continued for three weeks.

On the third week, Chellick finally had the evidence he needed to confirm the supplier’s name. The captain had run himself ragged finding the proof, and once he had it, he put in a call to the executor. Alenko and Williams popped open a questionably old bottle of very cheap champagne that had been sitting in the breakroom fridge as a celebration; though the case was hardly over: it was only just beginning.

Garrus couldn’t indulge in the levo alcohol, and he wanted to share the exciting news with Shepard, though his workload might only increase now, and technically speaking, he wasn’t supposed to give out confidential information to civilians. But this was _Shepard_. He wanted her to know and he wanted to have someone to share it with.

While Williams and Alenko were celebrating in the breakroom, Lawson even joining in, he retreated to the back office and brought his omni-tool.

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.05][20:25]: Hey big news at the station._

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.05][20:26]: Hopefully that means you have time for more than just quickie on the roof? Not that I’m complaining but it might be nice to have sex in an actual bed for once ;-)[_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.05][20:26]: Might be able to make a little time…but we broke open the big supplier case that started with that first bounty we hit_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.05][20:27]: Took you long enough. I bet Chellick’s happy. I know you guys have been working crazy hours trying to figure that fucking thing out. Did you get a name?_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.05][20:27]: Yeah and it’s a BIG DEAL. You’re never going to guess_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.05][20:28]: Ooo someone famous?_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.05][20:28]: Kind of. Everyone in the galaxy has probably heard of him._

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.05][20:28]: Ok you know I’m impatient and you’re clearly excited about it. Just tell me Garrus!_

_G_Vakarian[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.05][20:29]: Ok but don’t tell anyone. The supplier is that rogue Spectre that disappeared. Nihlus Kryik._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUUUUUN. Really excited to post this chapter with ~that~ ending since I've had this arc planned out from the start. Stuff's gonna get interesting!
> 
> Thanks thanks thanks for all the comments and for continuing to read this porn with plot. I love you all.


	14. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains graphic descriptions of a physical assault

**2183**  
**Bachjret Ward – District 42  
****July 5** th

When Shepard received Garrus’ message revealing the true identity of the Citadel-wide drug lord Chellick’s station had been hunting for the past few months, she had read it three times before her mind would allow her to process it.

_Nihlus Kryik._

Once it hit her, her heart dropped into her stomach and all the blood drained from her body to pool around her heart, which she was fairly sure had stopped beating. It took her a few minutes of paralyzing fear before the anger sank in.

C-sec had been chasing evidence to confirm the name of the supplier for _weeks_ , which meant Chellick had at least _suspected_ that it was Nihlus _for weeks._ Why hadn’t he told her? Didn’t she deserve to know more than anyone else in the entire fucking galaxy?

She didn’t remember the journey from her apartment to the District 42 C-sec station. The sheer power of her rage had simply willed her there, possibly out of thin air; the only thought in her mind was ripping Chellick’s fringe from his skull for keeping this from her.

_How could he? HOW COULD HE?_

When she reached the station, she swept inside and was disappointed to find an unfamiliar turian at the front desk. He looked up at her arrival and then shrunk slightly beneath her gaze.

“Are you here to see someone, miss…?” He started.

She brushed past him, down the hall to Chellick’s office. She was only vaguely aware of her surroundings, the world practically spinning around her as she moved. Nihlus was on the Citadel. Nihlus was running a drug ring on the Citadel. _Nihlus was on the fucking Citadel._

“Shepard…?” Garrus stepped out of the back office and almost stopped her from reaching her goal.

Good, sweet Garrus. He’d had no clue what he was telling her when he sent that message. It had been an exciting game to him: guess which major galactic criminal we get to hunt down, Shepard? Guess!

He didn’t know. And it was her fault he didn’t know.

“I need to talk to Chellick,” she addressed him briefly, continuing on down the hall.

She could only imagine the look of stunned disappointment on Garrus’ face. _That_ made her feel a little bad, but not bad enough to quell the growing rage inside of her. How the fuck had Chellick kept this from her? He was her friend. He _knew_ what this meant to her.

The door was open when she reached his office, and she barged in, knocking over a chair before leaping on top of him and grabbing his fringe, pulling up as hard as she could until he let out a strangled yelp of pain.

“ _Shepard, what the fuck!?”_ he screamed.

His large hands made quick work of her own smaller ones, yanking them away from his skull and pinning her arms to her sides. She thrashed wildly in his grip as Garrus and Alenko appeared in the doorway looking concerned.

“Captain, are you okay?”

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME, CHELLICK!?”

“Oh, fuck.” Chellick deflated. “Leave. Both of you! Close the door!” Alenko took a step back, but Garrus remained in the doorway, his face a mask of worry. “Go, Garrus. I’ll call you in a minute.”

“Chellick…”

“ _Go!”_

Shepard was still writhing in Chellick’s grip, but Garrus followed the captain’s orders and shut the door behind him. By that point, hot tears had sprung unwillingly to Shepard’s face. She tried to head-butt Chellick, but his grip on her arms was too tight to allow the range of motion she needed for the maneuver.

“Why, Chellick!?” She gasped. “Why didn’t you tell me? _Nihlus?_ Fucking Nihlus? How could you keep this from me? How could you do this to me?”

“Spirits, Shepard, look how you’re reacting!” He cried. “Why the fuck do you think I kept it from you? For starters, I had to make sure it was true. Wouldn’t you be pretty fucking pissed at me right now if I’d told you weeks ago and it hadn’t panned out?”

“Not as pissed as I am now!” A pathetic sob escaped her throat and she hated herself for it. “I trusted you, Chellick. You know what this means to me. You know what he did to me…he took everything…I had a right to know…”

His grip loosened as her angry speech devolved into a fit of sobs. He held her against his chest and rubbed his hand gently back and forth against her back.

“I know, Shepard. But this is a huge case and I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d want to get involved and you can’t. I had to call Castis…”

“No…no, no, no…Chellick…” She grabbed his face desperately. “Not Castis. No. Let me handle this. Let me go after him on my own. Please…”

“You know I can’t do that. This is Castis’ case. He’ll be here tomorrow with Commander Aiala. We’re setting up a whole team to track down Nihlus and if you try to get involved, you’re going to end up getting hurt. Right now the smartest and safest thing you can do is lay low. Nihlus doesn’t know your name, which means he won’t know how to find you.”

“I can’t do that.” She shook her head. “You saw what he did to me. You saw what I went through because of it! I can’t, Chellick, I can’t. Tell Castis it was a lie…please…”

“Shepard…” He sighed. “You have to stop coming around here if you want to avoid him. And you need to tell Garrus about this. He’s going to be working the case. We have to review all the old files…he’s going to see what Nihlus did to you…” His voice caught in his throat and he steadied himself. “You need to talk to him.”

Shepard rested her head against his shoulder. All of the emotions swirling inside of her were exhausting, and the thought of explaining what she’d gone through to Garrus felt daunting. She knew Chellick was right, though; it would be devastating for Garrus to see the video footage of Nihlus tearing her open with no prior knowledge of the truth.

“I wish he was dead,” she said weakly. “I wish I had killed him on Elysium. I should have killed him…I had the chance, but I ran instead. If I had just done that…”

“You can’t change the past, Shepard. You did what you did because you’re a decent person. You couldn’t have known what would happen.” Chellick kissed the top of her head gently.

She peeled herself away from his shoulder. “You have to warn me when Castis is on the move. I can’t…I can’t run into him. I can’t deal with that on top of knowing Nihlus is here.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“I’m sorry I tried to pull your fringe off,” she sniffled.

“I’m sort of used to your impulsive rashes of anger. Of course, you’ve never tried to scalp me before…but I’ll survive. I’m sorry, Shepard. I hope you understand why I didn’t tell you.”

She moved from his lap and stood up. “You were just doing your job. I know.”

“Go talk to Garrus. We’re done for the day anyway.”

There was nothing she wanted to do less than tell Garrus about the trauma that had haunted her for the last five years, a story that would inevitably lead to the revelation that she knew his father, had even cared deeply about him once upon a time. But the thought of Garrus seeing what had happened to her without knowing ahead of time hurt too much to bear. Why did she care so much about him? Why had she let him get under her skin, just like his fucking father? What the hell was it about the fucking Vakarians and their relentless need to be kind, caring, compassionate people?

Garrus was waiting for her when she left the office. He leaned against the wall inspecting his omni-tool like he hadn’t been trying to eavesdrop on their conversation. His mandibles twitched when he saw her.

“Shepard, what’s going on?”

“We need to talk.” She grabbed his hand and led him silently down the hall and out of the station. He followed without a word.

She needed somewhere private to talk to him, and somewhere closer than his apartment, because if she waited too long she might lose the nerve to talk about it. The solution was the roof of the old abandoned building where she had met him for target practice. That had only been two months ago, but it felt like another lifetime.

The walk to the building only took a few minutes, then she led him all the way up to the roof where she settled down onto the ratty old couch and buried her face in her hands. Garrus sat next to her and gently cupped his hand against her shoulder.

“What is it, Shepard?” His voice was laced with genuine concern.

“You remember when Nihlus Kryik was all over the news for what he and Saren Arterius did on Elysium?” She asked.

“Of course. Everyone heard about it.”

“You remember how all the news outlets talked about how they had killed those two Alliance officers…and how a third one escaped and they called her the Lone Survivor?”

His grip on her shoulder tightened. “Shepard…”

She lifted her shirt and pulled his hand against her scar, lifting her head to meet his gaze. “I’m the Lone Survivor, Garrus.”

* * *

 

**2178**  
**Elysium – Capital City of Illyria  
** **March 22** nd

Shepard had never been to Elysium before, though she was well aware of its reputation as a popular destination for Alliance officers on shore leave. It had always been too out of the way for a decent shore leave; she’d often opted to take hers on the Citadel or Earth, both places she was more well acquainted with. Elysium dealt with too many threats, seated as it was in the Skyllian Verge; the risk of dealing with pirates or slavers while trying to enjoy shore leave hardly seemed worth it.

This trip to Elysium was for a routine pickup. The Alliance had a lot of traffic in and out of Illyria, and the Normandy had been close to the colony when Admiral Hackett rang in requesting that Captain Anderson and his crew make a stop to secure some heavy weapons bound for the Citadel. After months defending Alliance bases on the Verge from a batarian onslaught, a routine pickup may as well have been shore leave in Shepard’s mind. As long as more batarians didn’t show up, she shouldn’t even have to fire her gun.

Anderson had agreed to the request and the Normandy had docked in Illyria shortly after the call. While not quite as large as the Citadel, Illyria was still an enormous city, and while Elysium was a human colony, people of all species could be found in the city. Because of its size and span, the city was a hub for crime, not unlike Nos Astra or the Citadel wards, but that was a concern for the local authorities: the focus of the mission was to retrieve the heavy weapons and head for the Citadel.

For the past few months, Anderson had been taking Shepard on ground missions with him and this mission was no exception. Because the plan was relatively straightforward, the captain had opted to bring along only one additional officer: a young, green-behind-the-ears private named Jenkins. Shepard had already saved Jenkins from having his brains blown out twice during ground runs against the batarians; he was an impulsive kid who thought the navy was all about action and adventure, not yet burdened with the reality of Alliance service. Shepard didn’t mind him, necessarily; a low stakes mission like this was probably the best use for him.

The heavy weapons were at a storage facility on the outskirts of the city: a large warehouse utilized by both the Alliance and civilians to hold sensitive materials. The facility was nestled into the side of the mountains that surrounded Illyria: they would have to take a shuttle to a drop point a few miles out from the warehouse and walk from there: the facility’s owners valued privacy for its clients above all else.

So, prepared for a quick and easy routine pickup, Anderson, Shepard, and Jenkins had all piled in to the Alliance-issue shuttle and made their way outside of Illyria. The shuttle pilot was almost as young as Jenkins, face covered in a thin layer of stubble, head partially hidden behind an Alliance cap, well known amongst the Normandy’s crew for the disease that had left the bones in his legs brittle and virtually useless. An inability to walk didn’t hinder his ability to fly a shuttle though, and he did it well.

“Doing a fine job, Moreau.” Anderson commented as the pilot guided the shuttle deftly through the skyway leading out of Illyria.

“This is child’s play,” Moreau replied. “But thanks, captain.”

Anderson turned to Shepard with a smile. She had a soft spot for the captain, a personal connection with him. He had been the one who’d saved her from batarian slavers on Mindoir, the one who’d encouraged her to join the Alliance navy. It had taken four years before she ended up under his command, but it had been the proudest day of her life when he became her commanding officer. That had been three years ago, long before she’d been promoted to lieutenant. She hoped one day she might even be his executive officer, but she wanted to win the position on her own merits, not because of the close relationship she had with the captain.

“This seems like a vacation after all the shit we’ve been through lately.” Anderson laughed.

His age was beginning to show in the grey peppering his coarse black hair, but the lines on his face were worn in from smiling and laughter, rarely ever from frowning. He was a level-headed, but optimistic man; Shepard appreciated that about him.

“Vacation’s a strong word, captain. I could think of nicer places to take a shore leave.” Shepard glanced out the window at the rows of pine trees spanning out below them. The mountains in the distance were peaked with snow.

“I know, you prefer the Citadel. Too many politicians there for my liking. How about you, Jenkins? You haven’t even really had your first shore leave yet, have you?”

Jenkins shifted in his seat. He looked so fresh-faced next to the captain. “No, sir. I’ve been asking the other crew members where they like to take their shore leave. Most said Illyria. I do think it’s pretty here.”

“This place is a shithole,” Moreau piped in. “Pardon my French. You want a good place for shore leave? Lieutenant Shepard’s got the right idea. The Citadel has everything you could ever want: beautiful women, great bars, casinos, amazing food. They’ve even got parks on the Presidium. With real grass! Why come here and freeze your ass off skiing when you could sit in a sauna surrounded by asari on the Citadel?”

“Duly noted, Moreau.” Anderson rolled his eyes. “Is that what you’re doing on your shore leave, lieutenant? Sitting in saunas with asari?” He chuckled.

“I leave that to Moreau. I like the Presidium, sir.”

“As long as you avoid the embassies. How much further, Moreau?”

“A few more minutes, captain.”

“So what kinds of heavy weapons are we picking up here?” Jenkins asked, bouncing his leg impatiently.

“Classified information, private.” Anderson answered. “Even I don’t know what the packages contain. I’m simply following through on orders from Admiral Hackett. He’s sent along access codes to ensure we can secure the weapons. The containers will remain sealed during the duration of flight to the Citadel to deliver them.”

“Must be something really important, then.” Jenkins had a stupid grin on his face. Even such a simple, boring mission like this excited him. Shepard didn’t remember ever being _that_ green.

“Visibility’s low here, captain.” Moreau slowed the shuttle. “Heavy foliage and fog moving in from the mountains. Drop point is just below. I’ll bring us down and you’ll have to move on foot the rest of the way. I’ll keep her waiting at the drop point until you return, but if any problems arise, just buzz me on the distress channel.”

He navigated the shuttle carefully between a line of massive fir trees, bringing it to rest on the overgrown forest floor. The side hatch of the shuttle came open and Anderson was the first to jump out.

“Should only take us about an hour, Moreau. Sit tight and make sure the back cabin is ready for the cargo.”

Moreau saluted as Shepard and Jenkins followed Anderson out of the shuttle.

Shepard had never been keen on cold climates and while Elysium was hardly a frozen wasteland, the temperature definitely bordered on _too_ cold, at least for her tastes. It didn’t seem to bother Jenkins though; he was as chipper as ever as they slogged through the forest toward the storage facility a mile away.

There was some question as to the legality of a storage facility that required a trek by foot and didn’t allow Alliance vehicles within a several-mile radius. Shepard wondered why the Alliance utilized the services of the facility, but most dealings on Elysium were mired in questionable validity and ethics. This wasn’t a strictly Alliance-run colony; they may have had no choice but to do business with the company that owned the warehouse.

“Phew. Brisk out here, isn’t it?” Anderson rubbed his hands together.

“When is the Alliance going to issue us some thermal regulation suits, captain?” Shepard asked.

“Maybe when pigs fly. Those things are damn expensive. Might be worth it if we were somewhere like Noveria, but I don’t think they’d issue them for a place like this.”

“Captain, how are we going to get the weapons back to the shuttle?” Jenkins brought up a valid point.

“The warehouse has drones that will fly them back with us once we give proof of our identities.”

“Seems like a lot of hassle. I wonder what kinds of low-lives are also using this facility, and what kind of crap they’re storing. I bet there’s a mountain of Red Sand in there somewhere. They should store that shit on Illium,” Shepard said as she picked up her pace in an effort to warm herself.

“I’m sure there’s a lot going on here that we don’t want to know about,” Anderson agreed. “But that’s not our concern at the moment. We just need to get in, speak with the operations manager, and get our supplies.”

The forest gave way to a rocky outcropping ahead, blocking any view of the warehouse, twisting into their path and forcing them to move around it to continue their trek to the facility. As they approached, they could hear voices sounding from the other side of the outcropping, too far to make out any specific words, though there was definitely shouting.

Captain Anderson held up a hand to bring them to a halt.

“What is that, captain?” Jenkins asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“I don’t know. Sounds like there could be some trouble up ahead. Maybe those low-lives you mentioned, Shepard. No guarantee on the timing of pickups at this facility, but we were supposed to be alone to protect the sensitive nature of the pickup.”

“We are a bit early, sir,” Shepard noted, glancing at the clock on her omni-tool. “Whoever it is could be running late. If they’re also loading something sensitive and we run into it, that could be a big mess.”

“You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, lieutenant.” The captain smiled. “Let’s just move ahead and see what the fuss is about before we make ourselves known. If the danger is too clear, we hang back and call for backup from the local authorities. Understood?”

Shepard and Jenkins saluted. “Sir!”

Anderson led them forward until they were directly against the pale tan rocks jutting up out of the ground in jagged peaks. They snaked around the outcropping to where it ended several hundred feet away, then peered around the edge to see the source of the loud voices: their words fully audible at this distance.

Two turians stood in a clearing beyond the outcropping: one tall and thin with red coloring and an intricate mask of white clan markings, the other shorter and more muscular, older too, with no clan markings and strange extensions of his fringe growing from the sides of his face. Behind the turians, nearly a hundred people lay in chains; some of them were conscious, sobbing or else begging to be released, but the vast majority had been drugged, tied together in rows and being hauled into a ship by batarians. No species seemed unaccounted for: there were asari, humans, salarians, quarians, turians, even some volus and hanar and elcor. Some of them looked like they hadn’t seen the light of day in months, undernourished, with ratty clothing hanging from their bodies.

“Move faster, there’s another pickup coming in and we have to be out of here before they show up!” The older turian yelled.

“Might go faster if we had some help…” One of the batarians complained loudly.

“What did you just say?” The older turian bridged the distance between himself and the protesting helper.

The batarian’s eyes widened and he quailed beneath the turian’s gaze. “N-nothing! I swear, Saren. We’re going as fast as we can!”

The turian named Saren lifted an assault rifle from his side and pressed it between the batarian’s double set of eyes. “ _What did you say?_ ”

Shepard’s heart was pounding in her chest. Whatever they had stumbled upon, a slave trade or a sex trafficking ring, it was bad news. She watched the scene unfold, beginning to feel genuinely terrified. Three Alliance soldiers would stand no chance against two well-armed turians and a small army of batarians, to say nothing of what might lie in wait on their ship.

“Saren! We don’t have time to kill one of the helpers!” The other turian snapped, subharmonics rumbling.

Saren stepped away from the batarian, lowering his gun and returning to the other turian’s side.

“You’re too soft, Nihlus.” He grumbled.

Shepard was surprised when the younger turian, Nihlus, reached a hand up and stroked Saren’s mandible. “Not soft, just more level-headed than you. We’re getting a big payout from this shipment of bodies and we’re running out of time. We need every hand we can get moving this cargo onto the ship.”

Saren’s subvocals chirped and he brushed his nose against Nihlus’. “I hate it when you’re right.”

Anderson turned to face Shepard and Jenkins. His face had gone pale and he gripped his pistol tightly in his hands.

“Captain, what do we do? This is some sort of trafficking operation.” Shepard’s voice shook as she spoke and she did her best to swallow the fear creeping through her body. If they spoke too loudly, made one wrong noise, the turians might hear them and she had no doubt they would have no mercy for three Alliance soldiers with no backup.

“Those two turians are Council Spectres,” Anderson explained. “Saren Arterius and Nihlus Kryik. I’ve met Saren before, heard of Nihlus. They’re both well-respected back on the Citadel.”

 _Council Spectres?_ This was even worse than Shepard had realized, and even more evidence that the turians wouldn’t hesitate to kill the three officers if they gave away their position. This wasn’t just a group of criminals at risk of getting caught, it was two Council Spectres at risk of having their status stripped if proof of their crimes leaked.

“Shit…” Jenkins cursed. Shepard mentally echoed his sentiment. “What do we do, captain?”

“Stay quiet and don’t move. We can’t risk being seen by them. I’m going to activate my omni-tool to record…”

Jenkins’ hand slipped where he held himself against the rocky outcropping, setting loose a few stones that rolled down the other side. Shepard sucked her breath in, her heart stopping as the two turians turned their heads toward the sound. Damn turians and their apex-predator senses.

“What was that?” Nihlus asked.

“I’ll go and see. Probably just some animal in the woods…”

Before Shepard could even realize what was happening, Captain Anderson yelled at them to run and darted out of cover with his hands raised in surrender. Jenkins tried to run after him, but Shepard grabbed him and pulled him back with the full force of her body, pinning him against the rocks and begging him to stay quiet.

“Don’t shoot!” Anderson cried. “I’m just here for a routine pickup. I haven’t seen anything here…”

Nihlus and Saren exchanged a glance. Saren raised his gun and pointed it at the captain. For the sheer weight of a weapon that size, Saren’s arm didn’t falter as he held it out, ready to fire.

His eyes darted up and down Anderson’s uniform. “He’s Alliance,” he said to Nihlus.

Nihlus sighed. “What do we do with him?”

“Just let me go,” Anderson pleaded, his eyes darting back to where Shepard and Jenkins hid. Shepard knew she should have run, should have hauled Jenkins over her shoulder and hightailed it back to the shuttle, but she couldn’t leave the captain; he was like a father to her.

“We could haul him onto the ship,” Nihlus thought out loud. “He looks well decorated. That could fetch a decent price somewhere; even just his head.”

“Not worth the time.” Saren fired his gun without warning, the bullet piercing Anderson’s skull. He still fell in a heap on the ground.

Shepard felt like the entire planet had been pulled out from under her. She could barely process what she was seeing, but in her shock and disgust, her body had gone slack, loosening her grip on Jenkins. He darted forward, firing his gun wildly at the two turians and only managing to clip their shields before Saren made quick work of him with another shot. Jenkins stuttered to a halt as a bullet pierced his chest, falling on the ground next to Anderson, his blood slowly pooling beneath him.

There were three options left for Shepard. She could stay where she was, paralyzed by fear and panic, until Saren and Nihlus found her, which they would; they were already moving in the direction from which Jenkins had run. There was also the option to turn and run, but two turians would outpace her quickly and it would end as badly as not moving at all. Her only real, viable solution was to attempt to shoot at least one of them while they didn’t know she was there. She could get one of them, definitely, but she wasn’t positive she had time to aim at the other. The batarians might not be a problem: they were still loading people onto the ship, unfazed by the gunfire or else too scared of what Saren would do to them if they stopped.

Swallowing her fear, Shepard lifted her assault rifle and aimed between a gap in the outcropping. Saren and Nihlus were slowly making their way toward her, but they hadn’t seen her yet. Watching Anderson and Jenkins get shot had sent a rush of adrenaline coursing through her body and it was the only thing managing to keep her hand steady as she lined up her shot with Saren’s neck: he seemed more dangerous than the other one, less stable; if she could get him, she might have a chance at Nihlus.

She pulled the trigger and time seemed to slow to a near halt as the bullet flew through the air and sliced through the soft skin beneath Saren’s jaw. Bright blue blood sprayed from the wound and he fell to the ground clutching his neck, a horrible gurgling noise escaping his throat.

“Saren!” Nihlus fell to his side, desperately attempting to apply medi-gel to the wound. It was too late; Shepard had managed to pierce a vital artery. It took less than a minute for Saren to fall still, the life leaving his eyes.

The batarians had stopped their work, looking on with fearful interest as Nihlus cradled Saren against him, a mournful keening issuing from his subvocals. Shepard was glued to the ground, staring at him as sobbed into Saren’s shoulder. For a fleeting moment, she felt _bad_ for him, but the moment passed when he turned his eyes upward and met her gaze through the gap in the rocks where she had fired; he had seen her.

She ran as fast as she could, dropping her assault rifle, partially in panic and partially to rid herself of its burdensome weight. The forest floor was dense with overgrowth, every step a tripping hazard. Her heart pounded in her chest, so hard she thought it might burst from beneath her ribs. When she heard the sound of Nihlus’ heavy footsteps behind her, she picked up her pace in vain, smacking her fingers clumsily against her comm link to activate her distress signal.

The turian slammed into her a moment later, knocking the both of them too the ground. The sheer force of the impact felt like it had severed her spine, but she knew if she didn’t try to move, didn’t try to fight, she was absolutely going to die there. She clawed her way across the forest floor while Nihlus righted himself, but she only made it a few inches before his talons dug into the gap in her armor behind her knees, piercing through the fabric of her clothing, deeper still into her muscle as he yanked her back to him.

A scream of pain left her mouth of its own accord. Nihlus flipped her onto her back and pinned her down, straddling her hips and gripping her neck tightly in one hand, his large fingers nearly encircling the entirety of her throat.

“You killed him, you bitch!” There was a terrifying fire burning in the turian’s eyes. “Do you realize what you did!?”

She clawed desperately at his hand, but her tiny nails were ineffective against his thick, leathery skin.

“Please…” she croaked.

He let go of her throat and slapped her with the full force of his palm. She let out a startled yelp.

“He was the love of my life…” His subharmonics vibrated at that somber pitch they’d reached before. “YOU KILLED HIM!” An orange glow enveloped his wrist as he brought up his omni-blade.

Shepard squirmed desperately beneath him, but his weight was too immense. Her eyes didn’t leave the omni-blade glowing on his arm.

“He killed my CO and my squadmate!” She cried. “He would have killed me! I was retaliating!”

Nihlus balled up his fist and punched her square in the jaw; the impact left her dizzy and disoriented. While she tried to recover, he yanked off the armor covering her chest, tossing it to the side in a blind rage. Not once did she stop trying to fight him, even managing to bring up her own omni-blade, but not quick enough; he yanked the omni-tool from her wrist and threw it off into the forest where she could no longer use it, then pinned her hands beneath his knees, nearly crushing the bone as he dug his weight against her.

Once he had stopped her assault, he returned to his crazed task, pulling on the fabric of her under-armor and slicing it off of her with one deft slip of his talons. She lay beneath him, the length her torso exposed, writhing violently until the effort made her weak.

She was going to die. He was going to kill her. There was no possible way she would be able to escape him now, pinned as she was beneath his immense weight.

At least she had managed to kill Saren; at least she had avenged Anderson.

Nihlus leaned over her, grabbing the underside of her jaw and forcing her to look at him. She wouldn’t give him the pleasure of averting her gaze; she funneled all of her remaining energy into staring a hole through him.

“I’m not going to let you die quickly, you little Alliance monkey. I’m going to make you suffer for what you did to Saren. He was everything to me… _everything!_ ”

He let go of her jaw abruptly and sidled back off of her pelvis onto her legs, keeping her arms pinned carefully beneath his knees as he moved. She took a deep, shuddering breath as his omni-blade rose into the air.

Nothing could prepare her for the pain of the blade burning into her chest. He plunged the point of it into her, not nearly as deep as it could go, but deep enough that she could feel it slide between her ribs and into her liver. Once the blade was in her, he dragged it in a jagged line across her torso as slowly and painstakingly as possible, twisting it every few inches. She was barely aware of the sounds leaving her throat, of the tears streaming down her cheeks; her entire body coursed with pain so immense that she was sure she had to pass out at some point, almost _desperate_ to do so, but she remained stubbornly aware. Each movement of the blade along her body sent blood spraying onto both of them.

“How does it feel?” Nihlus asked. “It can’t feel any worse than it felt to watch Saren die!”

He looked absolutely wild, focusing the full intensity of his gaze on his efforts to gut her; his face and chest were smeared with both her blood and Saren’s, mingling in spots to form little blotches of purple.

She gave up any remaining efforts to struggle and stared up at the treetops reaching up above her. She had never felt so much pain. It felt like she was being ripped in two; she supposed she was.

There was no saying how long he tore at her with his blood-stained blade. Each movement of his arm brought a new world of suffering, a new wave of agony, and yet she still remained conscious. All she could do was pray that when he was done, she would die quickly. How much blood had she lost already? How the hell was she still alive?

At some point, possibly due to the overwhelming pain, possibly due to the blood loss, her body went into shock. She stopped feeling _anything_ , went completely numb as the turian continued his work, moving his blade all the way down to her hip. How many organs had he destroyed in his path? He had _sawed_ through the thick muscles on her abdomen, torn them to pieces, and she had felt every minute of that, but by the time he reached her hip, she was too close to death to notice the pain any longer.

She was ready to die.

Everything felt heavy and hazy when Nihlus climbed off of her and stood up. Was he done? Was he just going to leave her to bleed out on the forest floor? No, he was looking at something beyond her. Without warning, he turned and ran, but Shepard didn’t have the strength or the energy to lift her head and see where he went.

Her eyelids were so heavy by then. She moved a hand weakly against her stomach and felt it settle against something soft and warm, something decidedly _internal._

“Lieutenant Shepard!”

Moreau was suddenly at her side, applying medigel to the gaping wound. She was vaguely aware of the cooling sensation it provided, but too numb to really process it. Others were with him, people she didn’t recognize. In the sky, beyond the rocky outcropping, a small black ship took off, darting out of the atmosphere with alarming speed.

Nihlus had managed to escape.

Shepard was lifted carefully onto a stretcher by two men in Alliance uniform. When they moved her, she was able to get a quick look at her mangled torso. Where her skin should have been, there was a chasm of blood and guts, her intestines dangling outside of her body. The sight of it was what finally, mercifully, made her lose consciousness.

* * *

**2183**  
**Bachjret Ward – District 42  
****July 5** th

Garrus was silent for a long time after Shepard finished her story. He sat completely still, staring at his hands, not making a sound, and she watched him with a growing worry.

She _had_ to tell him; there were no other options. He didn’t seem to be taking it well.

After a while, he said, “You know my father.”

God _fucking_ dammit. She had told him about the biggest trauma of her life, partially because she trusted him and partially because she didn’t want to hurt him by waiting until he inevitably found out through some other means. She had hoped his response might be one of surprise, concern, compassion; mostly she had hoped he wouldn’t jump right to the obvious conclusion that she was well acquainted with his father. Unfortunately, he had done just that.

“Yes.” There was no sense in lying. “You know he headed the case against Nihlus.”

“I’m sorry…” He held his head in his hands. “This is a lot…to process…”

“Garrus…” She placed her hand gently on his shoulder and he recoiled from her touch. The action hurt far worse than she would have expected it to.

“Don’t, Shepard. I’m sorry, but…you know my father and you didn’t tell me. You don’t just _know_ him, Shepard...” He stood up and paced in front of her. “Before the trial, he told us about you. Me and my sister. He told us about all his visits to your hospital room, how he had watched your progress, how he cared about you. He was ready to bring you home as part of the damn family, Shepard! How could you not tell me? You knew!”

“I had every right not to tell you!” A mixture of anger and sadness was swirling inside of her, but the anger won out. “This is _my_ ghost, Garrus. I had every right to keep it from you. I couldn’t have told you about your father without telling you about Nihlus and I wasn’t ready to do that. You can be angry, but don’t act like I owed it to you to tell you.”

“Fuck you, Shepard!” The words felt like a slap to the face. “You think you’re the only person in the galaxy who’s suffered? I’m sorry for what you went through, I really am. I can even admit that maybe I didn’t deserve to know when it was just the two of us going after bounties. But I _deserved_ to know when we started _fucking_. I deserved to know, Shepard. And you don’t get to act like this is just sex, okay? We both know it’s not. I know we both feel a connection here. I trusted you and this whole time you already knew who I was…you know my father. What did you do to him, Shepard? Because he sure as hell hates you now.”

“Garrus…” Her lip trembled, and it took everything in her power to hold it together. She still stubbornly felt that she had every right to keep this from him, that it was her right to guard her secrets, even if they involved his father; she couldn’t bring herself to apologize to him even though it clearly hurt him so badly.

“ _Spirits,_ Shepard. I can’t…I need some time to think about all of this. _Don’t_ message me. I want some space.”

He stormed off into the stairwell, leaving Shepard alone on the roof. As soon as he was gone, she lost all ability to keep her emotions together; she burst into tears and slumped into the couch, clutching desperately at the fabric. She felt like a child.

Garrus’ anger and indignation had hurt _so badly_. She never could have imagined it could hurt that much. Why did she care about him? She knew he was right about their emotional connection, had known since the first night she slept with him. Those feelings welled up every time she was with him. It wasn’t the same as friends fooling around; it had never been that way with Chellick.

Somehow, Garrus had managed to get so close to her, to who she really was, and there was a chance she had ruined everything by not telling him about her history with his father. Would he ever forgive her?

She didn’t have _time_ for all these emotions. Nihlus was on the Citadel. Sure, she cared about Garrus, but did she really care about him so much that she would let her feelings get in the way of a revenge five years in the making?

After a few minutes of crying pathetically on the couch, she sat up and wiped her eyes. Garrus was furious with her, Chellick didn’t want her to get involved with the investigation, and Castis would be taking up indefinite residence in her district. If her friends in C-sec couldn’t help her, then she would have to turn elsewhere. There was no way in hell she was sitting on the sidelines while Nihlus ran around the Citadel.

For several weeks, she had been toying with the idea of meeting up with Aria T’Loak again. Now that concrete evidence of Nihlus’ location existed, it seemed like the smartest option. Shepard and Aria had a mutual interest in seeing Nihlus Kryik suffer and die, and Shepard knew she stood a better chance of beating C-sec to the punch if she had help.

She strengthened her resolve and brought up her omni-tool, typing out a message to the extranet address that Tali had pulled for Nyreen Kandros.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.05][23:15]: This is the Lone Survivor. When can Aria meet? I have news she’s going to want to hear._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This chapter was exhausting to write tbh but now we finally know what Nihlus did to Shepard and why! Sorry for the cliffhanger on the last chapter (but also not sorry...a bit). Thank you again to everyone who's been reading each update and for all the wonderful comments!! I really need to update the playlist that goes with this fic...


	15. Planting Roots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains sexual content

**2183  
** **Presidium – District 6  
** **July 10** th

Five days had passed since Shepard’s argument with Garrus, and though she had wanted to message him, she hadn’t; she had respected his wishes and left him alone, too much of her hoping he would reach out soon after, but so far she’d heard nothing from him.

After the first three days, she had messaged Chellick, just to ask how Garrus was doing.

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.10][12:18]: You two have some sort of fight?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.10][12:18]: Something like that_

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.08][12:19]: He’s been working overtime every night this week. Castis is proud. I suspected something was up considering he’s always in a damn hurry to get out of here to see you._

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.08][12:19]: Not anymore_

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.08][12:21]: He’ll come around_

She wasn’t exactly convinced, but she would have to give him the space he’d asked for. She had her own matters to attend to in the meantime; she’d set up a meeting with Nyreen Kandros in a park up on the Presidum. The meeting point was Nyreen’s suggestion: a highly visible public place where they could talk without risk of any violence. After what Shepard had pulled in Aria’s club, she couldn’t exactly blame her.

Shepard had brought along Tali and Thane. As much as she wanted to do everything by herself, she knew that she needed the support of the two people she trusted most in her life. She hadn’t yet told the rest of their little household about Nihlus’ reemergence, but she told Tali and Thane almost everything, and their skills could be invaluable in the oncoming fight. They had agreed to help, though Thane had already twice questioned the motivation behind her desire for revenge and whether or not she had truly considered all of the possible factors.

She loved Thane, but he could be annoyingly thoughtful.

As they waited for Nyreen to arrive, Shepard and Tali sat on a bench facing a fountain near the center of the park, talking casually to avoid attracting any suspicion; Thane had taken up a spot leaning against a tree a few feet away, scanning the area repeatedly.

“How long will you wait before you talk to Garrus?” Tali asked, settling her back against the bench and focusing her attention on the water rushing over the edges of the fountain in front of them.

“He said he wanted space, I’m giving him space. He can come to me when he’s ready.” Shepard sighed.

“That doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“Yeah, unfortunately, Garrus is having that effect on me.”

“He just needs some time to process it.” Tali patted her knee affectionately. “It’s a lot to take in.”

Shepard stared at her lap. “Tali…do you think I should have told him sooner? Be honest with me; not what you want me to hear, just the truth.”

“Honestly? I think he probably deserved to know once the two of you started fooling around. You have to think, he’s been told certain things about you by his dad and now he has to reconcile those things with who you really are and what he knows about you. I completely understand why you didn’t tell him, Shepard, but sometimes something you feel is private and personal really isn’t. You’ve carried this emotional baggage for the past five years, so it feels like it’s _yours_ , but some of it does belong to others; some of it belongs to Castis and by extension, Garrus.”

It wasn’t what she wanted to hear at all, but Shepard knew it was absolutely the truth. She appreciated having a friend like Tali, who would tell her the truth even if it didn’t feel good to hear it. There wasn’t time to dwell on it though: Nyreen was approaching from the other side of the park.

She was tall and muscular, with unusual red clan markings splayed across the middle of her face reminiscent of an arrow pointing down to her chin. She barely glanced at Tali and Shepard before taking a seat at the end of the same bench where they sat and staring directly ahead at the fountain.

“Aria’s interested in your information, but she wants some assurances that we won’t have a repeat of the incident at the Azure Tunnel.” Nyreen spoke.

“What kind of assurances exactly?” Shepard demanded. “I was after her bounty then, but this is way more important than that. I have no interest in attacking her again as long as we’re both harboring the same mutual hatred for Nihlus.”

“You’ll hand over all of your weapons, including omni-tools, when I take you to see her. This will prove that you really are just coming to talk with her. After that, she’ll decide if she wants to work with you.”

Shepard bristled. She disliked the idea of being unarmed in the presence of a powerful asari biotic, but she recognized that she would have to take some risks if she wanted to win her over as an ally in the fight against Nihlus.

“Fine, but we keep our shield generators.”

“Fine. Hand me your weapons now. I already saw them when I approached. Two pistols, two omni-tools, and a hunting knife. And your drell friend over by the tree needs to hand over the knives he’s got as well,” Nyreen said, finally turning to face them.

Reluctantly, Shepard and Tali stripped themselves of their weapons, handing them to Nyreen, who tucked them into a bag at her side. They called Thane over and he removed his weapons without complaint, though he gave Shepard a questioning look as he did so. She really hoped she knew what she was getting them into.

“We’re meeting Aria at a club on the Presidium called Purgatory,” Nyreen explained, rising to her feet. “It’s loud, it’s busy, and it’s easy to go unnoticed. We’ll sit and discuss the topic at hand and decisions can be made. Any questions?”

The only question Shepard had was not related to the task at hand, just a bit of curiosity about the nature of this turian’s relationship with Aria. She felt like she already knew the answer, though, and it certainly wasn’t a question she would ask this complete stranger just because she was intrigued. She had seen Aria’s arm draped over Nyreen’s shoulder in the Azure Tunnel; she could fill in the gaps herself.

“No, let’s go.”

They walked to the club, rather than taking any mass transit, which made the trip far longer than it needed to be. For several minutes, no one said anything, the atmosphere tense between all of them. Nyreen seemed like a stolid professional, silent and stone-faced, glancing back occasionally at Shepard and her unusual companions. Shepard thought she saw a spark of curiosity in her eyes as she looked at them, but if she was interested in knowing how a quarian, a human, and a drell had come to work together, she didn’t give voice to it.

She did speak eventually though, long after they had exited the park, as they made their way along the Presidium walkways to the club located in District 5.

“We did some digging on you, lieutenant.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“You have a lot of priors on your record. It looks like you’ve been pretty busy since you left the Alliance. Aria and I were interested in one particular note in the system; you’ve been locked up under Chellick Laratus’ watch over one hundred times. Did you know that?”

Shepard didn’t know that, though the number wasn’t exactly surprising. Hearing it out loud made her realize that Castis _must_ know Chellick was in regular contact with her. If it was that apparent in the system, anyone looking for the connection could find it.

“What about it?” She asked.

Nyreen shrugged. “Well, it’s just interesting that anyone could come up with bail for that many arrests. That’s millions of credits. Seems like a lot for a bounty hunter to be able to afford.”

“Just get to the point.”

“Aria wants to know your relationship with C-sec. I know Chellick, I’ve had run-ins with him. He’s lax in his standards for releasing prisoners, and he’s got a special fondness for humans. Plus, he just happens to be one of the detectives who oversaw the case against Nihlus back in ’79. It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Nyreen asked.

“So Chellick does me some favors. It has nothing to do with this.” Shepard folded her arms.

“Aria doesn’t want C-sec snooping around her turf and knowing what she’s up to. Her biggest point of contention with you is your relationship with them. If you’re going to be reporting back anything to C-sec then…”

“Chellick told me to stay away from both of you. He doesn’t want me involved in this, so there’s no way in hell I’m going back to him and telling him what we discussed. This is a personal matter.” Shepard interrupted.

“Chellick’s only one half of the equation.” Nyreen slowed her pace to walk next to Shepard. “We know who your little friend is, the one who helped you at the Azure Tunnel. _He’s_ a much bigger concern to Aria, considering that he’s the executor’s son.”

“He’s not involved either. I don’t know what exactly I can do to prove that to you, but like I said, this is a personal matter.”

“We’ll see whether or not Aria believes you.”

When they finally reached the club, Nyreen led them past the bouncers and inside, where loud music was pumping from every side of the room. Shepard had been to Purgatory once or twice; she didn’t like it. It was absolutely a Presidium bar: expensive drinks, bad music, rich snobs dancing on the dancefloor. But it _was_ loud and easy to go unnoticed, so she could see why Aria had chosen it as a meeting spot.

Shepard, Tali, and Thane followed Nyreen down to a lower level of the club where there was a cluster of couches and tables, filled with loud, drunk people; the thing about clubs on the Presidium was that they would be filled at any time of day with idiots who had too much time and too much money. Aria sat on a couch by herself in the corner sipping a drink and staring moodily out the window. When they approached, she spoke.

“I wasn’t sure if I’d hear from you, lieutenant. It’s been a while.”

“Don’t call me that,” Shepard hissed.

“Take a seat, please, we have a lot to discuss.”

They all sat down on the couch, Nyreen on one side of Aria and Shepard and her friends on the other; it was certainly an interesting collection of people.

“I’m sure Nyreen asked you about your connection with C-sec,” Aria said. “Most of the officers in Bachjret leave me alone; we have a mutual understanding. The commander overseeing the district is a bit less…lenient, but she has her hands full with plenty of other problems. I need to know that you won’t let your relationship with C-sec become tied to whatever relationship we decide to strike up today.”

“I already told Nyreen, this is a personal matter. It’s none of their business what I’m up to. They’ll inevitably be involved, but that has to do with the news I’m bringing you, not me. Maybe when I tell you, you’ll be a little more inclined to trust me.” Shepard folded her arms and followed Aria’s gaze out the window where the Presidium lay sprawled out under an artificial sun.

“All right, then tell me the news.”

If Shepard told her, there was no going back. Once Aria knew Nihlus was on the Citadel, she would do everything she could to find him and kill him, regardless of Shepard’s subsequent involvement. Part of her knew it was stupid to involve someone as powerful and unethical as Aria was, knew that Chellick’s warnings were well founded, but it was overshadowed by the part of her that desperately wanted revenge against Nihlus for what he had done to her.

“Nihlus Kryik is on the Citadel.”

Aria’s hand squeezed tight around her drink, a dull blue glow enveloping her arm as the glass shattered in her hands. The drink spilled across the floor and the table, some of the shards of glass sticking in Aria’s palm; she didn’t even flinch, didn’t address it until Nyreen grabbed her hand and yanked the glass out, applying medi-gel in its wake.

“You had better not be fucking lying to me,” Aria hissed, turning her gaze to Shepard’s, her eyes blazing. She grabbed Shepard by the collar of her shirt. “If I find out you’re lying, I won’t hesitate to rip you apart with my mind.”

“I’m not lying,” Shepard said coolly. “The district 42 C-sec station down in Bachjret has been investigating a drug ring for a few months and they just uncovered proof of the main supplier’s name. It’s Nihlus. I don’t know _where_ he is, but he’s definitely here.”

Aria let go of her and settled back against the couch. “So why come to me if you’re friends with captain Laratus? He heads that station, doesn’t he?”

“He doesn’t want me involved. He knows my history, thinks things are too personal and I’ll just get myself hurt. You saw what Nihlus did to me, you understand why I can’t just sit back while I know he’s alive and running around the Citadel.”

“Seems like a good enough story,” Aria said. “This was much better news than I was expecting, Shepard. I can have my people look into this, see if they can turn up any info on where the bastard might be hiding out. I suppose you’re not willing to divulge any information your friends in C-sec might share with you.”

“They won’t be sharing any data on this case, trust me.” Shepard shook her head. “All of the key players know who I am and my relationship to Nihlus. They know giving me the information would compromise their investigation. But if I do turn up anything, I’ll let you know. C-sec will just arrest him and give him the dignity of a full trial for his crimes before they lock him in a cell. We both know he doesn’t deserve that.”

“Fine. We’ll keep in touch and when we find out where he is, the two of us will work on a plan of attack. I didn’t get the pleasure of killing Saren, but taking out Nihlus might be just as good. I wouldn’t normally share something like this,” Aria eyed her up and down, “But I know your revenge is possibly even more justified than mine, so I’ll make an exception for you.”

“I just have one question,” Shepard said. It had been gnawing at her since she’d first discovered Aria had witnessed what Nihlus had done to her.

“What’s that?”

“You saw him cut me open. Why didn’t you do anything? You said you escaped in the chaos and then you saw what he did to me. Why watch and do nothing?”

Aria’s eyebrows furrowed. “I escaped, sure, but only because my feet weren’t bound because they had drugged me. My body was filled with a biotic damping drug, I’d been locked in a warehouse with minimal food or water for weeks, I had no weapons. What would I have done for you, Shepard? I got away from the batarians and hid behind the rocks and watched Nihlus _gut you_. If I’d made any noise to try and stop him, he would have done the same to me. Sorry you went through hell, but don’t blame me for it.”

The response was enough for Shepard; Aria had been as powerless as she was.

“Nyreen will be in touch with you.” Aria shifted, her boot crunching against some of the broken glass on the floor. “I’m assuming your little friends here will be involved going forward as well? I looked into their records too. Squeaky clean in C-sec’s archives, but some digging turned up some decent info on the drell. Some kind of assassin?”

“Formerly,” Thane spoke for himself.

Aria glanced fleetingly at him before returning her attention to Shepard. “They can stay if you think they’ll be helpful, but if they get in my way, I won’t hesitate to hurt them, so keep that in mind.”

“Understood.”

“I think we’re done here,” Aria said with finality. “I’ll have Nyreen reach out when we have more info. Thanks for the intel, Shepard. We both have five years of revenge ready for that asshole when we find him.”

Shepard stood up and Tali and Thane followed suit. “I’m glad this meeting went better than the last. Can we have our stuff back?”

Nyreen handed over the bag and they reequipped their weapons, attracting some pointed stares from the surrounding club patrons.

“I’ll see you soon, Shepard.” Aria waved.

When they were out of the club and back on the Presidium, Shepard turned to Tali and Thane.

“I want you guys with me on this, but if either of you aren’t comfortable…”

Tali shook her head. “I’ll be here for you, Shepard. Whatever you need me to do. I understand what this means to you.”

Thane was silent for a moment. “I will assist you, siha. But once again, I beg you to consider the motivation behind all of this. Revenge will not fix what has been broken. Killing Nihlus won’t cure your anxiety, nor will it bring back your friends.”

“I know all of that,” Shepard replied defensively. “But he deserves to die for what he did.”

“Saren is the one who killed your companions. He has already paid for that with his life.”

“If you don’t want to help, you don’t have to.” She folded her arms.

“As I said, I’ll help you because you are my friend and I know what this means to you. I still think it’s important that _you_ know what this means to you, that you understand your own motivations. I won’t continue to press the issue,” Thane said.

“Good. Let’s get back to Bachjret.”

Before they could make any headway, though, Shepard’s omni-tool pinged signaling the receipt of a new message.

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.10][17:54]: Castis is leaving for the day. Garrus went with him. Come by the station if you have time._

She didn’t reply. They took the mass transit shuttle down to Bachjret ward and she parted ways with Tali and Thane when they reached District 42. Tali gave her a hug before they left and told her she should talk to Garrus.

As much as she loved her friends, she could do with a little bit less of their helpful advice.

The district 42 C-sec station had been transformed since her last visit, the lobby filled with makeshift work stations where officers sat hunched over portable terminals. They barely looked up at her arrival, just a quick glance before returning to their work, though she did catch some double-takes in her periphery. She wound her way through the desks to the hallway leading back to Chellick’s office and found officer Lawson alone in the back office staring at a terminal, her eyelids heavy.

She looked up at Shepard and her eyes widened.

“You…uh…are you here to see the captain?” It was the most she had ever said to her.

“Yes.” Shepard leaned against the doorway. “There are two reasons you could be looking at me like that; either Jack’s done something and you know I’m friends with her, or the executor showed you the video footage of what happened to me.”

“Jack,” Lawson scoffed. “She has a tenuous grasp on personal boundaries. I’m sorry,” she shook her head, “it was the video.”

“Did anyone tell the executor they knew me?” Shepard tensed up.

“No,” Lawson shook her head. “No, the captain had asked us not to bring it up, as a favor. He warned us ahead of time.” There was a look of profound sadness in her eyes as she stared at Shepard, but for once, the look didn't seem to hold pity behind it. “I’m sorry for what happened to you. For what it’s worth, I think the captain should let you help with this case. I know what the protocols are, but…it’s too awful.”

“Thank you.”

“The captain is in his office if you want to see him.” She rubbed her eyes. “I have to finish this report.”

Shepard walked away, turning the corner toward Chellick’s office. The door was open, Chellick squatting down over a filing cabinet that housed OSDs containing data from old cases. She stepped into the office and sat on the edge of his desk, waiting for him to notice her arrival.

When he stood up and turned around, he jumped at the sight of her.

“Fuck, Shepard, when the hell did you get here?” He clutched his chest.

“Just a second ago.” She laughed at his startled reaction.

“You see what Castis has done to my station? It’s a fucking mess. I’m trying to dig up all my old OSDs from the case. It’s been a nightmare this past week.”

“I talked to Lawson just now. She said they saw the video of what happened to me.”

Chellick stood by the edge of his desk, his legs brushing against hers. “Castis showed it to them. I forgot how damn clear the footage is. One of the newest officers actually threw up when he saw it, but most of them just looked upset.”

“And Garrus?” She asked.

He sighed. “Garrus had a really hard time with it. He kept closing his eyes and then Castis would make some comment about how everyone needed to watch it, even though it was gruesome. I didn’t watch it, fuck that. Once it started, I left the room. I’ve seen it enough times.”

“I wish Garrus didn’t have to see it.”

“What happened with you two?” Chellick moved closer, forcing her knees apart so that his legs were flush with the desk.

She stared down at the floor. “He was upset with me for not telling him sooner, because of my relationship with Castis. I didn’t feel like he had any right to the information…I felt like it was my right to keep it from him. We had a big fight and he told me not to contact him.”

“He’ll get past it. It’s a lot to take in. Hey,” he grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. “It’s going to be okay, Shepard. Garrus will get over it, and we’re closer than ever to finding Nihlus.”

She sighed. “I hope you’re right.”

He rested his hands on her thighs. “Castis finally asked me about you.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Yeah, earlier today. He said he had seen all your priors in the system and all the times you’d wound up in my station.”

“What did you tell him?” Shepard asked.

“I just told him I had seen you a lot in the last few years. He didn’t ask what I did with you because I’m pretty positive he already knows. He just asked how you were.”

“How I am?” She balked. “Excuse me?”

“I’m guessing part of him still cares about you, just like I know part of you still cares about him. He sounded genuinely concerned. I told him you were holding up, that’s all.”

“I hate this. I hate all of it. I hate what I said to him, I hate that Garrus is angry at me, I hate that Nihlus is back…” She felt hot tears spring to her face. _God,_ she had been so emotional lately, with all of this stress bubbling to the surface.

Chellick surprised her by grabbing the back of her head and licking the tears from her cheek affectionately. She shivered at the touch.

“Chellick…”

“Shepard, I…” His nose brushed against hers. “I hate seeing you like this.”

Her head swam. Without even thinking about what she was doing, she clutched at his neck. His lips hovered close to hers. It was so easy to gravitate back to him, despite knowing that she shouldn’t; he was such a comfortable consistency in her life.

He kissed her, his rough lips pressing tenderly against her own. When they broke away, he kept them close, toying with kissing her a second time, his fingers shifting up her thighs to her back.

“We shouldn’t…” She gasped.

He kissed her again, harder this time, his tongue sliding into her mouth. She _knew_ she should stop him, that she shouldn’t give in to these base desires, but she was too selfish in that moment, too desperately in need of some comfort.

“Shepard.” He breathed heavily against her. “Do you want this?”

“Yes.”

She was a fucking idiot.

Chellick leaned over her, one hand fumbling for a button beneath his desk. The door to his office slid shut and his lips moved against her neck, his tongue brushing against her skin to taste her, his hands roving up and down her sides, shoving impatiently at her shirt. She let him remove it, let him nearly rip her bra off trying to get it off of her, let him push her down onto the desk while his mouth explored her breasts.

_What about Garrus? What are you doing?_

She pushed the thoughts from her mind, gripping the back of Chellick’s head as his tongue moved in a circle across her nipple.

“ _Chellick_.”

His lips moved down her stomach, across her scar, to the line of her pants. He unbuttoned them quickly and pulled them off of her legs, her underwear following close behind.

“Take off your clothes,” she demanded.

He complied immediately.

His subharmonics rumbled with impatience as he struggled with the buttons on his shirt, though he did finally manage to get it off. He shimmied out of his pants, his pelvic plates partially opened, then leaned over her on the desk, gripping her hips and kissing along her collarbone.

She just wanted him inside of her already, far more eager and desperate than she would have liked to admit. Reaching up beneath his fringe, she stroked the skin there and his subharmonics purred at a low frequency. Her other hand reached down between them, brushing between his plates, stroking against his sheath.

“Come on, Chellick,” she begged.

Her fingers dipped lightly into his sheath and that was all it took to free his erection. She stroked him once and then lay back fully against the desk, spreading her legs and waiting for him.

He leaned back over her, pressed his lips to hers, then guided himself inside of her, snapping his hips against hers as he did so.

“ _Fuck_ ,” she gasped. He thrust again, hard and quick. “ _Chellick_.”

His hands brushed through her hair and he gripped some of it tightly in his hands as he moved inside of her. Her intrusive thoughts kept comparing him to Garrus; it wasn’t the same. There was an emotional element in the room, certainly, but it was coming from her vulnerability, and from the knowledge that Chellick was in love with her. She didn’t feel the same swelling in her chest that she felt with Garrus.

This had been such a bad idea, but it was hard to remember that with his cock pumping in and out of her. It might not have carried the same emotional weight, but fucking him still felt good.

His face pressed into her neck, licking the sweat from her skin as he continued to thrust into her. She wrapped one arm around his neck to grip his cowl and brought the other up under his arm to scratch her nails along his back. Why did his cock have to feel so good? Why was it so easy to fall back into this at the slightest emotional weakness?

“Shepard…” he panted against her neck. “ _Fuck_ …”

She let out a long, low moan, her nails digging into the back of his neck. “Chellick… _God, you feel so good_.”

He kissed along her neck somewhat clumsily, shifting and pressing his forehead to hers.

“I love you,” he gasped. “Oh, fuck, Shepard, I love you so much.”

She didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t just sex-crazed babbling; the words rang so true that it felt like a fucking bullet through the heart. Why did he love her? Why? Why? _Fucking why?_ She shouldn’t have done this; as soon as he’d said the words, she realized how cruel it was to let him comfort her like this when he was on a completely different page than she was.

All she could do was clutch at his neck and moan.

“I’m so close…” he moaned. “You haven’t…you haven’t…”

She wasn’t going to, not at the angle he was driving into her, without any help from his hands or hers. It didn’t matter. She didn’t really deserve an orgasm for what she was doing.

She arched her back, rolled her hips to meet his thrusts. His rhythm faltered and he moaned softly, his subharmonics oscillating, mandibles twitching. His hips pumped desperately, erratically, as he came inside of her, then he fell still on top of her, his head coming to rest between her breasts.

For a moment they were silent, both of them catching their breath. She brought a hand against his face and stroked his mandible; he licked the sweat from her skin affectionately, his hand trailing across her breast.

“I’m sorry.” She spoke first. “We shouldn’t have done this. We can’t do it again.”

“I know,” he said softly.

“I’m so sorry that I don’t feel the same, Chellick. I wish I did.”

“Stop apologizing. I’ve already told you I didn’t expect you to. You can’t control how you feel about these things, Shepard, I would never hold that against you.” He propped himself up on his elbows, holding himself above her. “I didn’t think that fucking you right here, right now, would somehow change your mind. I shouldn’t have even said what I did out loud…it was just the heat of the moment.”

“I just don’t understand why.” Her voice quavered. “Why me? How could you possibly love me?”

He stroked her hair. “Because I know the real you. Because when you’re not being mean to me, you’re tender and affectionate. Because you’re the only person I’ve been with in years that I’ve felt an emotional connection with, okay? I can’t explain it. Hell, I wish I didn’t feel this way. But I do, and that’s my own problem, not yours.”

“Chellick,” she pressed her hand against his mandible. “I don’t deserve you.”

He laughed. “Probably not. Just tell me one thing, Shepard. If Garrus wasn’t in the picture…would you feel differently?”

“You don’t want me to answer that,” she sighed.

“Yes I do. Just tell me.”

What did she tell him? Either way, it would hurt. If she told him the truth, that if she’d never met Garrus Vakarian then maybe she could see herself falling for him, that would just be rubbing salt in the wound. She _had_ met Garrus, he _was_ in the picture, what did it matter speculating on hypotheticals? A lie didn’t feel any better: telling him she could never love him was heartless and callous.

If he insisted on knowing, she would tell him the truth.

“Yes. I would feel differently.”

He pressed his forehead to hers. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

A moment of silence passed before she spoke. “Chellick, I’m falling for Garrus.”

With a sigh, he pulled himself off of her and stood up, standing at the edge of the desk and offering his hand to help her sit up.

“I knew you would,” was his only response. He took a step back from the desk and began pulling his clothes back on. “You should go and talk to him.”

“We can’t do this again. Ever.” Succumbing to a moment of comfort had not been worth the overwhelming guilt she was feeling now that it was over.

“I know.” He stepped back against the desk, half-dressed, and wrapped his arms around her. “Just…before you go…let me say goodbye…”

To her surprise, he pressed his face between her breasts, subharmonics rumbling, hands reaching up to squeeze them.

One stupid gesture and all of the discomfort in the room was gone. She let out a laugh and flicked the edge of his fringe. “You’re such a fucking idiot, Chellick.”

“I’m sorry, Shepard, I think I love your breasts more than you. I have to say goodbye to them.”

“I’ll send you a picture for your photo album.” She shoved him off of her and stood up. “You have something for me to clean up?”

He gestured to the bottom drawer of his desk. “Are you going to talk to Garrus?”

“I have to, don’t I?” She shrugged.

“And then what happens? Where does it lead, Shepard? Castis will find out eventually.”

“I’ll deal with that when it comes to it. Right now I’m not even sure Garrus will forgive me, so it might all be a moot point.”

“I’m sure he will,” Chellick said. “Just go and talk to him.”

“I’m surprised you’re not rooting for it to crash and burn,” she laughed.

“I can’t pretend I’m happy about it, but…I also know that you care about him and I hate seeing you so unhappy. Go and talk to him. I’m sure I’ll see you soon enough.” He waved her out.

She stopped in the doorway before she left. “Thanks, Chellick.”

* * *

 

The captain had warned them ahead of time that they would have to see a video of what had happened to Shepard, had specifically pulled Garrus, Alenko, Williams, and Lawson aside to let them know and ask for their discretion in discussing Shepard in front of the executor.

“It’s going to be gruesome,” he had told them.

Nothing could have prepared Garrus for the actual footage. He had expected a grainy recording coming from a security drone on some human tourist colony, but the video had been flawless. The footage, it turned out, came from a private security drone that belonged to the warehouse facility where Shepard and her fellow Alliance officers had been bound before intercepting a sex-trafficking operation in the process of loading sapient cargo.

The drone was top-of-the-line, programmed specifically to detect and record the motion of all known sapient species. It had begun recording as it swept over three dead bodies, a turian and two humans, all lying in pools of their own blood; and stopped to hone in on the movement of a turian and a human thrashing around on the ground in the forest several yards away.

Watching Nihlus Kryik rip Shepard open would have been bad enough, but the drone had captured the audio as well. The _noises_ she made as the omni-blade tore through her, the desperate screams and sobs, the unparseable curses mingling with pleas for him to stop; it had taken everything in Garrus’ power not to cry at the sound of it all, to swallow the low keening rising up in his chest.

All he had been able to think about was the sound of her wailing as it slowly petered out until she had no energy left to scream or fight; until Nihlus ran from the approaching Alliance officers and the drone was allowed a full view of Shepard splayed open on the ground, her torso covered in blood, vital organs split in two or else hanging from her open abdominal cavity.

How the hell had she survived it?

When it was over, Garrus’ father had addressed the station.

“It may seem cruel and unnecessary to show you this video, but I think it’s important for you to know what’s at stake and to know what Nihlus Kryik is capable of. Remember this video as we continue our investigation and _do not_ underestimate him when we inevitably find him.”

Afterward, Garrus had wanted to get away from everyone and everything, too distraught by what he had seen to even think straight. His father, concerned by his reaction, had walked him out of the station to debrief. There was nothing Garrus could say to explain why the video had upset him so viscerally; his father didn’t know he knew Shepard, much less that he had a personal relationship with her.

“I know it was difficult to watch, Garrus. Are you all right? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Dad, how do you…” He swallowed hard, the image of Shepard on the forest floor burned into his brain. “How do you watch that when you knew her?”

“I know that she survived.” His father shrugged. “Keeping that in mind makes it easier to bear, but it’s never easy. I’ve learned to temper my emotions regarding the matter. I hope there’s never a time where I find watching that video to be an easy, emotionless task. I hope that I never _have_ to watch it again. Go home, Garrus, give yourself some time to process it.”

The whole way home, he had felt sick to his stomach, the sounds and images playing over and over and over in his mind. When he finally made it up to his apartment, he’d emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet and fallen onto the couch. It wasn’t just the brutality and gore, it was that it was _Shepard_.

He thought about messaging her to apologize, but he felt too raw. Instead, he’d tried to rest, but his sleep was fitful and filled with nightmares of what he had seen. Almost as soon as he awoke, sick and groggy and sad, the doorbell rang.

Shuffling to the door, expecting his father come to check up on him, he disabled the lock mechanism and was surprised to find Shepard standing in front of him looking as miserable as he felt.

It was a relief just to see her in one piece.

“Shepard.” He would have liked to embrace her, to breathe in her scent and remind himself that what he’d seen was in the past and she was alive and well, but they hadn’t reached a resolution of the argument he’d started on the rooftop and he knew they needed to.

“I fucked Chellick.” She said by way of greeting.

It felt like a slap in the face. He couldn’t think of a response and he was acutely aware that, because they hadn’t really discussed their relationship, he wasn’t allowed to feel as angry or jealous as the words made him feel.

“Are you going to say anything?” She stepped inside, frowning.

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged and stared at her feet. “It probably rings a little hollow, since I already told you I wasn’t sleeping with him anymore, but this really was the last time. It was a mistake; I was upset and he wanted to comfort me…” She rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry.”

“I can’t tell you who you can and can’t sleep with,” he responded diplomatically.

“Dammit, Garrus, I’m not asking you to be stoic about this, okay? Does it upset you? Tell me how you’re feeling.”

“Angry.” He replied immediately. “But I don’t have any right to be. We’ve never…”

“Shut up!” She growled. “Fuck whether or not you have a right to be, you _are_ , so let’s fucking talk about it. I’m sorry! I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner. You were right, okay? You deserved to know and I kept it from you because I don’t know how to open up to people and I didn’t want you to know about my relationship with your father.”

He took a step toward her. “I’m sorry too.” Saying it unloaded an immense weight from his shoulders. “You told me something deeply personal and I didn’t even address it because I was angry. Shepard, I saw the video…”

She bridged the gap between them and wrapped her arms around him. “I wish you hadn’t seen it.”

Finally, with her arms embracing him, he allowed himself to break down. He clutched at her shirt and pressed his face into her shoulder as his subvocals vibrated at a low, keening note, his whole chest shaking.

“Oh, Garrus…” She guided him over to the couch and took the brunt of his weight onto her as she cradled him gently against her.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he choked. “Seeing you… _hearing_ you…Spirits, Shepard, it was so horrible.”

“It’s okay,” she cooed, her voice gentler than he’d ever heard it. She grabbed his hand and guided it to the scar on her stomach. “Feel it. I’m alive. I’m here.”

He traced his fingers up and down the knotted flesh. How many times had he touched that scar without knowing what had caused it? It felt different now that he knew.

Peeling his face away from her shoulder, he shifted onto his side, allowing space for them to lay side by side along the couch. She stroked his mandible affectionately and he closed his eyes. For several minutes, they were silent.

“I’m mad that you slept with Chellick,” he said finally. “I’m not allowed to be mad because we’ve never talked about what’s going on between us, but I am anyway. I don’t want anyone else to touch you. I want you to myself. It feels stupid and selfish, but…”

“Garrus,” she pressed her finger against his mouth to stop him, “I only want you.”

No words had ever sounded sweeter. He pressed his forehead against hers and they held each other in a comfortable silence. Nothing else mattered in that moment.

“From now on,” she spoke softly, kissing him lightly. “I’m yours.”

* * *

 

**Playlist for this fic has been updated and[can be found here](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww finally a chapter that doesn't end with a cliffhanger or people mad at each other! I'm posting a bit early because I have a ton going on this weekend! Thanks again and a million times over to each and every person who's been reading this fic and thanks for all the wonderful comments. And believe me I recognize and look forward to all of the usernames that have been commenting every chapter. Seriously, I'm so glad to put this fic out there and know that you like it!


	16. Feelings without Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains sexual content

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward –District 42  
** **July 18** th

Garrus was _smitten_.

There was no other way to describe the obsessive infatuation he had felt since he’d made up with Shepard and they’d committed, more or less, to a relationship.

_“I’m yours.”_

Spirits, all he could think about was how tender and vulnerable she had been that night, a side of her he’d only recently been able to see; he knew this was who she was under all of her steely armor and trauma. He’d never imagined feeling quite so lovesick over a human, but from the start everything about Shepard had been unexpected.

He hadn’t felt this giddy or foolish about a woman since he was a teenager.

Unfortunately, the distraction of his infatuation couldn’t have come at a worse time. Every waking moment was spent combing the extranet and darknet channels for information on Nihlus, or else patrolling the streets and investigating for information there. They had his name, they had a trail of connections via intermediaries, but they didn’t have a location, and the longer it took to find him, the more likely it was that he would get wind of their investigation and try to flee.

Because of this, Garrus had been working extra hours every day, coming home only to eat and sleep, sometimes not even making it past his couch before he passed out. Shepard had messaged once or twice about bounties and he’d forwarded the hits from his software to her with the caveat that he couldn’t help.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.15][14:53]: That’s fine. I’d rather you find Nihlus._

Even if Garrus had found time for a break, his father’s presence in the station made it difficult to sneak away for a rooftop meeting with Shepard. Every time he tried to leave, his father would ask him if he wanted to get lunch together, or else he would pull him into a task to keep him busy.

He went nearly a week straight without any real reprieve from the work until finally Chellick and his father had an argument in Chellick’s office that culminated in the agreement that officers would be guaranteed a full day off on a rotating schedule to ensure no one burned out during what was likely to be a lengthy investigation.

With a day off, and nothing but Shepard on his mind, Garrus formulated a plan to get as much time in with her as he could before he had to be back to work. As much as he loved hunting targets with her, he didn’t want to waste time with what was effectively more police work on his only day off.

They were dating now, technically, though the word hadn’t been used explicitly; he wanted to take her on an actual date. He had spent a few minutes researching human dating customs on the extranet, but none of the conventional ideas seemed appropriate for Shepard: flowers, chocolates, expensive restaurants, candlelit dinners; that wasn’t her at all. He would have to come up with his own idea, one that showed he’d bothered to pay attention to anything she’d told him over the past few months.

_G_Vakarian[Private-Terminal -Bachjret-D42][2183.07.17][22:14]: Are you busy tomorrow?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.17][22:18]: Nothing on the schedule. Why?_

_G_Vakarian[Private-Terminal -Bachjret-D42][2183.07.17][22:18]: I have something in mind. Meet me at my place at 9. Or is that too early?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.16][22:19]: Assuming this entails sex at some point, I can make 9 work._

At seven the next morning, he left his apartment to pick up some supplies he had in mind for the date, which ended up taking him a little longer than anticipated, since the main thing he had in mind could only be found on the Presidium. Still, he made it back to his apartment with just enough time to spare, putting on his sharpest outfit: blue with gold trim, spritzing on some of his cologne, and preening himself in the mirror for far too long.

Was this all too much? It was just Shepard. But, Spirits, he really was falling for her. How, in just a few short months, had she turned from frightening and intimidating to tender and beautiful?

Well, she was still a little intimidating.

She was waiting for him when he exited his apartment, a bag slung over his shoulder containing all of the supplies intended for their date.

“Target practice again?” She eyed the long bag with raised eyebrows, her hip checked to one side. “You better let me hold that thing for longer than one shot.”

The bag _did_ contain his sniper rifle, difficult to hide due to its cumbersome shape.

“I’ll let you hold it,” he assured her. “But we’re not going to that crummy roof and having sex on that disgusting couch.”

Her shoulders slumped. “Damn, I was looking forward to that.”

“Just be patient. I have something in mind.” He hailed a rapid transit shuttle with his omni-tool.

“What, exactly?”

“You’ll see, won’t you?”

She brushed a hand over his shoulder. “Look at you, mister fancy. I feel underdressed.”

“You’re fine.” His mandibles flared with embarrassment, but he was pleased she’d appreciated the effort he’d put into his appearance. “Hopefully by the end of the day, neither of us will be wearing clothes anyway.”

She grinned at him. “Now you’re speaking my language.”

“No, I’m speaking Cipritini,” he answered reflexively.

“Human phrase, Garrus.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“So…” She looked him up and down. “You’re all dressed up, you’ve got a bag with your gun in it, and you won’t tell me what we’re doing today.” She folded her arms. “Is this a date, Garrus?”

“Uh…” He checked his omni-tool to avoid looking at her. “It, uh, might be…”

“You know, you could have just said, ‘Shepard, I’d like to go on a date with you’.”

“I’m sorry. I just wasn’t sure if…I mean to be honest I haven’t _dated_ a lot of women, and we didn’t actually use that phrase the last time I saw you, and you’re just…there’s so much I don’t know about you and I wasn’t sure you’d even want to and…”

“Garrus.” She pressed her palm against his chest. “You aren’t going to scare me off, I promise. I know I’m confusing and intimidating and this hasn’t exactly been the most…stable beginning to a relationship, but…I meant what I said. And I do, on occasion, have a romantic side. As long as you’re not doing something sappy like buying me flowers that’ll just die or taking me to some ridiculously expensive restaurant where the portions are the size of my pinky.”

Well, he at least knew her well enough to have called _that one_.

“That’s not your style, I know that much.” He shrugged.

“Good.”

The shuttle Garrus had hailed pulled up to the curb and he placed his bag gingerly in the back seat before climbing in and setting coordinates. She watched him, obviously trying to figure out where the numbers he’d input would lead.

“You’ll see where we’re going when we get there!” He chided.

Obviously impatient with the lack of information, she nevertheless leaned back in her seat.

She surprised him when she looked at him and said, “It’s sweet of you to do this.”

“This is what…er… _couples_ do, isn’t it? Go on dates? I’m sorry, I’m not exactly good at this. But I did figure with everything going on, both of us could probably use a distraction. And I have been thinking about you quite a bit.”

She squeezed his leg and he jumped. “Yeah? I’ve been thinking about you too.”

“I was kind of disappointed.” He stared out the windshield. “I haven’t gotten any fun pictures from you recently.”

“You aren’t keeping the old ones in a spank bank, Garrus?”

He cocked his head. “A _what_?”

“Never mind.” She snorted.

“I’m going to have to search that on the extranet later and then I’m going to be really embarrassed that it’s in my search history, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, probably.”

He turned and watched her for a moment. She was staring out the window to her right, the curve of her neck accentuated from the angle at which she held her head. Watching her, he wondered how he’d ever been unsure of her beauty, even if it was so different from a turian’s. Without thinking, he reached his hand out and ran his fingers through her soft red hair. She didn’t even flinch.

“What are you doing, big guy?” she asked calmly.

“You’re so beautiful, Shepard.”

“Hey, don’t get sappy on me.”

But he saw the red hue color her cheeks. _Blushing._ He’d always thought that was a charming little human attribute.

He let his hand fall down against the space between them and was more than a little surprised when her hand wrapped against his, her fingers fitting comfortably between his despite how many of them she had. She squeezed his hand gently.

The shuttle took them out of Bachjret and into the rapid transit highway linking the wards and the Presidium through a vast network of tunnels and skyways. They fell into the morning traffic, their progress slowing somewhat because of it, headed along the outer rim of the highway connecting one ward to another.

“Seriously, where are we going?” Shepard asked again.

“You’ll see! You’re very impatient. Don’t humans have a phrase for that? Something about it being a virtue?”

She rolled her eyes. “God, you sound like your fucking father.”

The words were jarring; he was still unused to the idea that she knew his father so well, that there was this entire relationship they had that he knew virtually nothing about. He remembered, as the trial was approaching, his father had come to him and his sister to tell them about Shepard. Of course, he’d never referred to her as such.

_“I’ve spent a lot of time with the Lone Survivor over these past months, watched her progress. I’ve really come to care about her and, if she agrees, maybe one day you could meet her...”_

But after the trial, he’d told them it was a mistake, that she wasn’t what he thought she was, and he’d barely ever spoken of her since.

“I’m sorry,” Shepard said. “I didn’t…I know we haven’t talked much about me and your dad.”

Garrus recognized that he probably shouldn’t have said what he did next, “My sister, Solana, thought he was having an affair with you.”

The look of pure and utter disgust on Shepard’s face was all the reassurance Garrus had needed. “ _What!?_ What the fuck did he say to you to make her think that? What? _What?_ Excuse me? No, God! _GOD!_ ” She shook her head, looking slightly nauseous. “No…ew, what the hell? Castis was like a father to me, I could never…” Her face continued to contort into new shapes, so expressive with her eyebrows and her soft, flexible lips.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” He couldn’t just breeze past her statement, though. “He was…like a father to you?”

“Christ, Garrus, I want to have a nice day with you. Can we not talk about your dad?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

After a moment, she grabbed his hand again. “I will tell you about it eventually. I promise.”

“I trust you, Shepard. You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

The shuttle finally made it to their destination, landing in a strip of skycars inside Kithoi ward. Garrus climbed out and grabbed his bag, slinging it back over his shoulder before opening Shepard’s door for her.

“Kithoi?” She looked around unsurely. “I’m really eager to see where you’re taking me.”

“It’s a bit of a walk. I thought the shuttle would drop us off closer.”

“It’s fine. I _could_ use something to eat.” She rubbed her stomach. “I just swallowed a mug full of piss masquerading as coffee this morning before I left the apartment. I may or may not have just gotten up in time.”

“You should really try operating on C-sec hours,” he told her as they walked. “I’m lucky if I can willingly sleep in past seven.”

“That’s disgusting.”

Kithoi ward was cleaner than Bachjret, though just about every part of the Citadel was nicer and cleaner than Bachjret. They had landed near the markets, full of little vending stations where people of every race stood haggling with the vendors for the best prices on weapons, armor, and trinkets. A small stand near the edge of the market was selling some human food that smelled good, but looked horrendous: a long tube in a piece of stale-looking bread, with strange sauce on top. Shepard eyed the food, rubbing her stomach.

“Do you want that?” he asked.

“What, the hot dogs?”

“Are they made of dogs?” The tubes didn’t resemble any meat Garrus was familiar with, though they must have been meat of some sort.

“ _No_. And also, no, I don’t want one. They smell good, but I don’t trust street food in the wards.”

They continued walking, Garrus leading the way, past the markets, through some side streets, passing the neon glow of a feminine figure outside of Chora’s Den, one of the more popular strip clubs on the Citadel.

“Oh, Garrus, are you taking me to Chora’s Den?” Shepard joked. “How romantic.”

“Well, after that offer from the asari at the Azure Tunnel…”

“You think you could handle me _and_ an asari at the same time, Vakarian?”

“I’d be willing to find out.”

She nudged him with her elbow. “Maybe for our second date.”

“Shepard…can I ask you kind of a personal question?” His mandibles flared as he spoke.

“Maybe.”

“Do you have a, uh…” He cleared his throat. “Do you have a…well…”

“A what, Garrus?”

“Do you have a turian fetish?” He felt immensely stupid for asking it.

She burst out laughing. “I don’t know, maybe. I’ve certainly been with enough of them. But I’ve also been with humans and asari and drell and even a quarian once.”

“A quarian?” He was so intrigued by the news that he almost forgot what he’d even asked her. “How did you…?”

“Very carefully.” She grinned. “Why do you think I have a turian fetish anyway? Because of you and Chellick?”

“And you said you dated a turian in the past.”

She stopped walking, a deadly serious expression on her face. “You know what Chellick would tell you?” She grabbed his hand and pressed it against her scar beneath her shirt. “He’d tell you that the reason I’ve sought out turians more than anyone else since this happened is because one of them violated my body worse than it’s ever been violated before…and I’m trying to get over it by finding turians who are willing to give me pleasure instead of pain.”

Here she was, intimidating him again with the stern, almost emotionless way she spoke.

“And…is that true?” He asked.

“Yes. And no.” She let go of his hand. “It was good the first time. It was just some guy I met in a bar. I was scared and he was gentle; he’d been with humans before. Then I just…wanted to keep being reminded that I didn’t have to be afraid. I mean, Chellick and Cast-…your dad…they helped, emotionally, when I was recovering, but afterward…once I left the hospital…”

“I understand,” Garrus stopped her. “I…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

She stroked his mandible. “You’re not a fetish to me, Garrus.”

“I know.”

“Chellick’s never actually said any of that to me. I just know he knows it. Like how I know why he only fucks humans.” She shrugged and continued walking, hesitating until Garrus took the lead.

“Why _does_ Chellick only seem interested in humans?” Garrus had always been curious about the captain’s proclivities, but never had the nerve to ask him.

“I didn’t say this to you. Chellick would hate me if I told anyone, but…” Shepard looked sideways at him, “It’s because his dad beat the shit out of him when he was a kid. He started liking humans because they were soft and he didn’t know anything about softness. Then he fell in love with one.” She shrugged. “He was just a kid, but it left a lasting impact.”

“I won’t say anything to him,” Garrus promised.

“Good. He’d be devastated.” She was silent for a short moment, then said, “Weird start to our date, talking about your dad, and why I like fucking turians, and why Chellick likes fucking humans.”

“Dates are about getting to know each other, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, I guess so. So you’ve never been with anyone that wasn’t a turian, huh?” She asked.

Garrus’ mandibles twitched. “That obvious?”

“You had no fucking clue what to do with my boobs the first time we had sex, Garrus. So you’ve obviously never been with a human, or an asari, or a quarian. Plus, you were really pretty rough, not that I minded.” She flashed a grin. “But it did suggest a certain lack of experience with softer bodies.”

“If I’d have known what I’d been missing…” He stared at her.

“Garrus? Garrus, is that you?” A familiar voice sounded to the left and he skidded to a halt, Shepard stopping alongside him.

A woman was approaching, one Garrus hadn’t seen in some time, probably more than a year now; she was beautiful by human standards, as he’d been told many times by his human friends in C-sec back when he worked the Presidium, and she had a thick accent his translator sometimes grappled with.

“Chloe,” he greeted her, surprised when she stepped forward and hugged him, planting a soft kiss on either side of his face.

“It’s so good to see you! You haven’t been around the clinic at all in ages!”

“I’ve, uh, been transferred down to Bachjret,” he explained.

She inhaled sharply. “ _Bachjret?_ How awful.”

“It’s not as bad as the news makes it out to be.” He noticed Shepard shifting uncomfortably in his periphery. “Uh, Chloe, this is my friend Shepard…er…Jane…well…I mean…Jane Shepard. Shepard, this is Chloe Michel, she runs a clinic up on the Presidium…sees a lot of C-sec traffic.”

Shepard eyed Chloe up and down before offering a handshake.

“Nice to meet you,” she said, though Garrus doubted the sincerity of the statement.

“You as well,” Chloe nodded before immediately turning her attention back to him. “We really should catch up some time, Garrus. Maybe we could meet for dinner…”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “You have my extranet address. Just let me know.”

“Perfect, wonderful! I’ll let you go. I actually have a meeting to get to. Talk soon! It was _so good_ to see you.” She squeezed his arm before she took off.

He had always liked Chloe; she was friendly and always went out of her way to help him on the rare occasion that he sustained an injury while on the job. Plus, sometimes she would have dextro chocolates in her clinic, which could be hard to find outside of a specialty store.

He turned back to Shepard to find her smirking.

“You didn’t like her.” He wasn’t asking as much as stating a fact.

“You’re such an idiot,” she laughed.

He continued their walk toward the destination he’d had in mind for their date. “What do you mean?”

“She _totally_ wants to bone you, Garrus.”

“Refresh my memory on the human slang, Shepard.” He rubbed his brow plates.

“She wants your cock, big guy,” she said. “She wants to fuck you.”

His mandibles flared. “What? What makes you think that?”

“Jesus, Garrus, you just agreed to a date with her!”

“I _what?_ ”

She sighed. “You really are dense about human attention, aren’t you? She wanted to catch up over dinner. To humans, that usually means a date. Besides that she couldn’t take her eyes off of you and she was putting on a fake voice. I hate to admit I’ve used the same voice, but I have. It’s the ‘I’m so desperate, I need to make myself sound extra sweet so you’ll want me’ voice.”

Garrus was still reeling. He’d never once considered anything Chloe had done to be anything more than a friendly favor. Reconsidering the free checkups and the constant supply of dextro chocolates in this new light was illuminating.

“I’m not…I don’t want to go on a date with her. She’s just a friend.”

“So tell her that when she messages you. Poor girl, you just got her hopes up and now she’s going to be devastated.” Shepard shook her head with feigned sadness. “Garrus, you’re a monster.”

“Stop it!”

“You always knew how to respond when _I_ was flirting with you.”

“Yeah, but that was different. Look, can we just drop all of this and enjoy our date?”

She shrugged. “Sure, if we ever get there.”

“We’re almost there, I promise. It’s just another block away.”

They continued walking the rest of the way in silence. Garrus was having a hard time processing the reality that Chloe’s actions had all been because she was attracted to him. Were there other humans he’d interacted with that had been interested? Until Shepard, actions he might have considered flirtatious from a turian had seemed innocuous and meaningless coming from anyone else. Humans, in particular, were known for disliking turians; he’d always considered the likelihood of any human being interested in him to be non-existent. How many other humans had he accidentally led on?

He felt pretty terrible about it, but not terrible enough to let it ruin his day with Shepard.

They finally reached their destination: an unassuming two-story building marked with the C-sec logo, sandwiched between two much larger structures. Shepard folded her arms and stared at it.

“You’re taking me to a C-sec station? Is this some kind of weird role-play thing?”

Garrus rolled his eyes. “Just come on, you’ll see.”

Inside was a pristine lobby, manned only by a security mech. Garrus swiped his badge against a card reader next to a door beside the mech; it chirped affirmatively and the access panel on the door turned green, allowing them entrance into the rest of the building.

Behind the door, a long hallway stretched ahead several yards, lined with doors on either side. He led them down to the fifth door on the right, swiped his card yet again, and held the door open for Shepard before following her inside.

Garrus had known about this building for a long time, but had never actually been down to it. Each room along the hallway contained a private shooting range, with a guard rail separating the front quarter of the room from the remaining portion, where a hanging target in the shape of a turian could be moved along a track on the ceiling. A couch and table sat against the wall next to the door; a variety of C-sec issue guns could be chosen from a rack built into the wall adjacent to the couch.

“Target practice, huh?” Shepard stepped up to the guard rail. “I hope there’s replacement thermal clips around here.”

“They’re underneath the gun rack. Alenko told me about this place, but I’ve never actually been. It’s nicer than that grimy roof and more private than the shooting range on the Presidium. No security cameras and the rooms are soundproof,” Garrus explained.

“Yeah? You gonna fuck me on the couch, Garrus?” Shepard raised her eyebrows.

“Actually, I did have an actual _date_ in mind. I figured we could go back to my apartment afterwards.”

“Very presumptuous on the first date.” She feigned upset.

“We’ve had sex like twenty times, Shepard.” He sat down on the couch and began unloading the contents of his bag.

“You keeping count?” She crossed the room and sat down next to him.

“Yeah, I’ve got a tally on my omni-tool with a record of all our vital signs and who came first.” He snorted.

She bumped into him with her shoulder. “You think you’re cute with your little sarcastic jokes.”

“Kind of.”

“Yeah, all right. You are. What have you got in that bag besides your gun?” She peered down as he unloaded it.

The first item he pulled out was his gun case, setting it gingerly to the side while he focused on the remaining contents of the bag. There was a square box, pink with white polka-dots, which he set on the small table next to the couch. Shepard tried to lean over him and grab it, but he swatted her hands away.

“Be patient.”

“ _Be patient._ ” She mimicked him in a sing-song voice, sticking her tongue out.

“Very mature, Shepard. Who’s older here?”

“Age is just a number. What else is in there?”

Next, he withdrew an opaque plastic sack, placing it next to the box and dipping down to bring out the last item: a sturdy, rectangular metal box that Shepard was especially interested in.

“What’s in that?” She asked.

“One thing at a time!”

She huffed impatiently and leaned back against the couch. “I wish you had told me this was a date. I would have brought something for you.”

“I didn’t plan this hoping you’d have stuff for me. I just…wanted to make you happy.” He looked at her and shrugged.

“God, I hate how good looking you are.” She replied.

His mandibles flared and he picked up the polka-dotted box. “These first, okay?” He handed it to her, and she went to work picking at the tape that held it closed almost before she’d fully moved it into her lap.

When she finally got the box open, she stared at it for several seconds. Inside were four large chocolate cupcakes with a tan-colored frosting on top. Garrus was uncertain about the food, but had done a lot of research on bakeries on the Citadel until he’d found one that could make what he was looking for.

“Cupcakes?” Shepard asked, sticking her finger into the box and dabbing it into the top of the frosting. She licked it hesitantly, then her whole expression changed from skepticism to complete, unadulterated joy. “ _Peanut butter!?_ ”

“I remember you said that you liked chocolate peanut butter cups, but it was hard to get peanut butter on the Citadel. I don’t…really know what it is, and I couldn’t find exactly what you had mentioned, but I found a bakery that makes dual-chirality cakes…” Garrus started to explain.

“Jesus, Garrus, how much did these cost you? Peanut butter on the Citadel…that can’t be cheap…” She removed one of the cupcakes from the box, handling it like it was made of glass.

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”

“You said it’s dual chirality?”

“I wanted to be able to try it…” The frosting had a very pungent smell. He wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. “Well don’t just hold it all day! Take a bite of it, Shepard!”

She stared at the cupcake in her hand as though it were the most precious item in the universe. Hesitantly, she took a bite, chewing it slowly and savoring the flavor. A moan issued from the back of her throat that made Garrus’ plates stir.

“I, uh, take it that you like it.”

“This cupcake is better than sex. I haven’t had peanut butter in over five years.” She held it out to him. “Here, take a bite.”

With the dollop of frosting on top, half eaten by Shepard, Garrus found the cupcake somewhat cumbersome to approach. It took him a moment to consider which angle he should approach it from, trying to be at least somewhat polite about his eating habits. Eventually though, he realized there was nothing to be done but shove the rest of the cupcake in his mouth, the frosting smearing across his lips as he ate it.

He wasn’t quite sure if he agreed with Shepard that it was better than sex, but it _was_ pretty damn good.

“You’ve got some on your lips.” She leaned forward and kissed the frosting off of him. Her hands gripped at his cowl and he gently pried himself away from her.

“There’s still more things to open.” He reminded her.

“What if, instead of that, I smear peanut butter frosting all over your chest and lick it off?”

“That sounds messy.”

Shepard sighed and leaned back into the couch again, closing the box of cupcakes and setting them aside for later. “I forgot turians don’t like using food in foreplay.”

“Do humans?” Garrus cocked his head. “Think of all the little crevices it could get into!”

“All right, what’s next?”

The plastic bag was next. “This one is, uh…kind of for me.” He held it out to her. “I saw it and thought of you.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Where did you see it, Garrus?”

“Just open it.”

Reaching into the sack, she pulled out a small package of tissue paper tied together with a bow. Her tiny fingers moved deftly as she pulled the bow apart and opened the tissue paper, removing the lacy blue contents within. She held the item out in front of her and let out a loud laugh.

Hardly inspiring.

“What’s wrong with it?” Garrus asked with concern.

“Nothing’s wrong with it.” She snorted. “It’s just unexpected. You want me to put this on right now, Garrus?”

“You don’t have to do that…” He still wasn’t convinced by her response.

“Is it going to fit me?” She stood up and began removing her clothes without hesitation; he stared at her as she undressed. He hadn’t anticipated that she would put it on until they got back to his apartment; it might make it harder for him to stay focused on the rest of the date.

“You forgot your black one up on the roof a couple of weeks ago and I’ve, uh…had it in my jacket pocket.” He explained. “When I was on the Presidium picking up the cupcakes this morning, I saw the blue lace in the window of this store so I had them match it to the size of your other one. Blue is my favorite color…”

Shepard was down to her underwear now. She latched the bottom portion of the lingerie he’d bought her around her waist and pulled it taut across her stomach, sliding it beneath her bra and hooking the top around her neck. It had cost him more than he should have spent to have the order rushed that morning, but now he definitely felt it had been worth it.

“It doesn’t exactly match my underwear.”

“That won’t matter when I take it off of you.”

She straddled his lap and grabbed his neck. “Why don’t you touch it, Garrus?”

With her lips so close to his, legs spread across his groin, it took a good deal of willpower not to give in to her request. She pressed her mouth against his neck, nipping at the scales near his mandible, and his head spun.

“Shepard…I did have other things in mind…” He breathed heavily.

“Can they wait? It’s been a whole week, Garrus.”

A week had never seemed like such a long time.

“I…uh…” Had he had an argument in mind? The only thought in his brain at the moment was the feeling of Shepard’s ass grinding against his pelvic plates.

“How about this?” Her lips moved back to his and she spoke between kisses. “I didn’t bring anything for you, so why don’t I give you something, then we can carry on with our date, and when we’re done, we’ll go back to your apartment and finish things there?”

“What would…what would you give me?” His mandibles twitched.

In response, she grabbed his hand where it gripped her thigh and gently brought it to her face, extending one of his fingers and kissing the tip of it very delicately. He stared with an intense interest as she slid the finger into her mouth, her tongue swirling around it as she sucked on it. His pelvic plates shifted partially open.

How had he lived his entire life without experiencing human lips?

After a moment of this, she let go of his hand and sat back on his legs. “Is that something you’d want, Garrus?”

Yes. Yes. _Yes._

“I uh…” He swallowed hard. “I would like that.”

All at once, she pushed herself off of him and dropped down between his legs, pushing the edge of his shirt up and tracing her tongue along the gaps in his chest plating while she unbuttoned his pants.

“Turians can’t do this, can they?” She asked, moving the fabric of his pants away from his hips with his help.

“We just use our tongues.” He couldn’t stop staring at her.

“They would be long enough, I guess. You know, I hadn’t had oral from a turian in _years_ before you.”

“Chellick never…?” Why the fuck was he asking her about Chellick at a time like this? “Never mind,” he added quickly. “Don’t want to think about it.”

“Good.” Her lips brushed tenderly against the top of his sheath; her tongue licked up the length of one side of it and down the other and his legs shook, his erection sliding from the sheath and into her waiting hand. “I’ve always liked how turians have their own lubrication.” She discussed it like someone might discuss the weather, like her hand wasn’t wrapped around his cock. It almost shook him from the stupor she had put him in.

“Human men don’t?”

She laughed. “No.” Her hand pumped up the length of him and his eyelids fluttered. All of those soft, tiny fingers of hers…

Her tongue brushed against the base of his cock, then she flattened it against him, licking up the underside, tenderly kissing the head when she reached it. One hand was still wrapped around the base, though her small hand couldn’t fit all the way around it; the fingers of her other hand brushed gently against the inside of his thigh.

“Shepard…” He gasped.

She took him into her mouth as far as she could, enveloping him in the warmth within, her tongue and lips gliding along his cock. The first time she had done that, it had been unlike literally anything he’d ever experienced, and it had taken every last ounce of his willpower to get her to stop when he’d been on the edge of orgasm.

Her head bobbed against him with slow, purposeful movement, her tongue swirling around the head of his cock with each upstroke, her hand covering what her mouth was too shallow to take.

He was vaguely aware of the sound his subharmonics were making: a low, deep rumble that vibrated through his whole chest. His mandibles fluttered and his hips thrust in time with her movement involuntarily. She held him firmly, removing her mouth from his cock with a slick sound, some of his lubricant glistening on her lower lip.

“Why did you stop?” He whimpered.

“You have to stop thrusting or you’re going to gag me.”

Mandibles pinching to the side of his face, he looked down at her sheepishly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’re not used to this.”

She kissed his thigh before wrapping her lips back around his cock and resuming her movement.

His hand snaked into her hair, gripping some of it tightly in a bunch at the base of her skull. She made little moaning noises as she moved, which he couldn’t help but think were a bit contrived, but it didn’t stop the sound from making him more aroused, increasing the pleasure he already felt from her lips gliding along the length of him.

“Oh…Spirits, Shepard…” He tugged at her hair.

She felt so _good_ , and when he chanced a glance down at her and found her staring up at him, it was almost too much. He couldn’t look away, could feel the pleasure mounting through his body. She was doing this for _him_ , pleasuring him just because she wanted to. He felt delirious.

He was so close to the edge, his subvocals harmonizing with the unbidden moans issuing from his primary vocal chords. It was hard to focus on anything but the feeling of her hot mouth sucking against him, hard to remind himself to keep his hips still.

Suddenly, he realized he didn’t know what to do. Turian women could only use their tongues, never their lips, so things usually ended in hands or on chests. Would Shepard tell him what he should do? Was he supposed to tell her when he was close?

_Too late._

A wave of ecstasy washed over him, short-circuiting any logical thought processes and almost taking him by surprise, so lost in the question of what he was supposed to do next. His legs quivered, her lips still moving against him as he came inside her mouth.

If it hadn’t felt so good, he might have been embarrassed.

His cock throbbed as she removed her mouth and sat back on her legs, licking her lips with intentional exaggeration.

“Shepard…” He let his head fall back against the couch.

After a moment, she stood up and pulled her clothes back on, leaving the lacy lingerie on beneath them. She curled against him on the couch and waited for him to recover. Her fingers brushed against the underside of his jaw, trailing along his neck and tracing shapes over his scales.

“I’m going to take your limp body and closed eyes as a good sign.” She laughed.

“Was I supposed to…” He struggled to open his eyes. “Was I _supposed_ to…finish…in your mouth?”

She patted his mandible with that look she reserved for his especially naïve questions. “Oh, Garrus. Yes. If I wanted you somewhere else, I would have stopped.”

There was always an almost overwhelming need to be affectionate with Shepard once he’d cum. He’d never really felt a similar desire with most women he’d been with. Pulling her toward him, he nuzzled against her neck, his subharmonics purring seemingly of their own accord.

“You’re always so cuddly after.” She stroked his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I prefer it to someone who falls asleep as soon as he’s cum.” Her fingers paused at the edge of his fringe. “I do want to know what’s in that last box though.”

“Let me get you first.” He kissed her neck, trailing his hand down to the button on her pants. He wanted her to feel as good as she had made him feel.

She swatted his hands away. “Later. That was just for you.”

Later would be fine. He still had actual plans for their date and had not anticipated it beginning this way, not that he was complaining. Shepard tried to reach over him to grab the remaining metal box, so he shoved her away and reached down for the case containing his sniper rifle.

“Will this distract you for a bit?” He asked as he opened the case.

She stared at the gun with large eyes. “God _damn_ that’s a beautiful gun, Garrus.”

“I know.” Gingerly, he withdrew the rifle from the case and handed it to her. “Try it out again. But let me show you how to hold it right.”

She clutched it against her chest and walked over to the metal barrier between the front half of the room and the target sheet on the other side. Garrus followed her, moving behind her and grabbing her arms.

“I know how to handle a sniper rifle, Garrus. I was in the Alliance Navy.”

That was another fact he was still getting used to. He had a hard time imagining Shepard; who hated taking orders, who was constantly creating trouble and chaos, who had a list of priors a mile long; _Shepard_ had been an Alliance naval lieutenant.

“Knowing how to handle a gun and actually _feeling_ how to use it are two different things.” He positioned his hands on top of hers, resting his head against her shoulder as he moved her hands into the correct positions on the rifle.

“You think you’re pretty smooth, don’t you?” She turned her cheek and it brushed against his mandible.

“I don’t have any idea what you mean.”

“Mhm. As fun as this little game is, if you keep flicking your mandible against my neck like that, I’m liable to drop this pretty gun of yours.”

Even the faintest possibility that she might drop the gun was not worth risking. He took a step back and sat down on the couch to watch her as she lined up her first shot. There was no denying she knew her way around a gun; certainly, she wasn’t as proficient with a sniper rifle as he was, but her arms held the heavy weapon surprisingly steady, and she positioned it against her shoulder like a true professional. The muscles in her arms rippled as she shifted the weight of the rifle; he really loved that toned, taut body of hers.

She fired a shot and hit the very edge of the turian torso painted on the target sheet. Cursing, she discarded the thermal clip and inserted a new one.

“This thing has almost no kickback.” She didn’t turn to look at Garrus as she spoke. “For the amount of power it puts out, that’s pretty incredible.”

“Well, I calibrated it to maximize the firepower while minimizing the kickback. You usually have to sacrifice one for the other, but there’s a balance it wasn’t quite striking without my modifications.”

“Doesn’t that void the warranty?” She began lining up another shot.

“Probably.” He shrugged.

“I wish I could be that casual about voiding the warranty on a million-credit rifle.” She snorted.

“I take good care of my gun and I know how to fix it myself anyway.”

Shepard fired off another shot and this time she managed to hit the shoulder of the outline. She discarded another thermal clip and started over.

“You’re doing pretty well.” He commended her.

“Thanks. I’m aiming for the head though.”

He didn’t have to ask why. She was undoubtedly pretending the turian outline was Nihlus. He had so many more questions about her past, questions unearthed by the story she had told him, and the footage of her attack. But he had brought her on this date to get both of their minds off of the investigation against Nihlus, he wasn’t going to delve into those questions, at least not today.

Her third shot hit the outline’s throat. Still a lethal shot in most instances.

“You’re really good with that rifle, Shepard.”

“I trained with sniper rifles for a bit. I always preferred an assault rifle or a heavy pistol.” She turned to face him, crossing back to the couch and handing the rifle back to him. “I think it’s because being a sniper leaves you so vulnerable. You have to replace the clip every shot; it’s such a slow process. With an assault rifle, it’s just _boom boom boom_ and the whole room of oncoming enemies is dead.”

Garrus set the rifle back in its case as Shepard took a seat on the couch once more.

“You aren’t going to shoot at all?” She cocked her head.

“I will in a bit.” He grabbed the metal box from the table next to the couch. “You can open this now if you want.”

She did a poor job of hiding her eagerness, practically wrenching the box from his hands. Still, once she had it, she set it delicately in her lap and began unlatching the sides, lifting the top of the box once she had finished.

The sharp inhale of breath as she observed the contents of the box was more or less the response he’d been hoping for. She stared wordlessly for several seconds before she withdrew the shiny chrome heavy pistol resting inside the box.

“Garrus…” She breathed. “Is this…for me?”

“Well…yes. I remember the first time we were shooting at that mech up on the roof you said you wished you had a heavy pistol…and how your pistol had been patched to hell. I thought you could use a new one.”

He was surprised, and a little alarmed, when tears formed in her eyes.

“Do you not like it?” He asked.

She shook her head and bit her lip, clutching the pistol to her chest. “Nobody’s ever…” She struggled in vain to keep from crying, the tears dripping down her cheeks from the corners of her eyes. Garrus had always felt bad for species who produced tears when they cried; it was hard to hide what had happened after the fact. He’d never _seen_ Shepard cry; the closest he’d come was when she’d left Chellick’s office once with puffy eyes. It made her seem so vulnerable.

But he still didn’t understand _why_ she was crying.

“Shepard?” He touched her cheek lightly with his thumb.

“I’m sorry. No one has ever…no one I’ve ever been with has…” She looked up at him, eyes shimmering. “You care about me so much.”

“Of course I do.”

She shoved the gun back in the box, setting it aside on the floor and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Garrus. Thank you so much. You shouldn’t have done any of this. It’s too much…it’s…”

He rubbed his face against hers, hesitating for a moment before licking away the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I didn’t think you’d cry. I just wanted to make you happy…take your mind off of things.”

“I’m sorry I’m crying. I feel pathetic. I just didn’t expect any of this.” She pulled her face away from him and cupped her hand against his mandible. “You’re too good for me.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t _ever_ say that, Shepard.”

They pressed their foreheads together and he felt something he didn’t know how to name.

Eventually, Shepard recovered, and they took turns shooting with her new gun and his sniper rifle, talking about anything except his father or Nihlus. They ate another cupcake, which Shepard childishly smashed against Garrus’ face before helping him to clean it off with a series of kisses. When they finished at the shooting range, they packed up their things and grabbed a bite to eat on the way back to Bachjret, ending the day in his bed.

Garrus considered that it was a cliché thought, but when they fell onto his bed, exploring each other’s bodies with hands and mouths and tongues, he felt like he finally understood the connotation behind the phrase ‘making love’. Whatever was happening between them felt like a hell of a lot more than just fun, pleasurable sex. When he looked into her eyes as he moved inside of her, he felt overwhelmed by the emotions coursing through him.

Afterward, as she lay sleeping soundly next to him, he watched her: her chest rising and falling with each breath, little contented sounds issuing from her occasionally as she shifted positions.

What was he feeling? It twisted around his heart, almost painful in its intensity.

Was it too soon to feel this way?

Was it too strong a word for such a brief affair?

It didn’t matter; he knew what he felt. The amount of time that had passed was irrelevant, as was giving a name to the feeling. It was what it was whether he gave voice to it or not.

He was in love with Jane Shepard.

* * *

 

**2178  
** **Citadel Tower  
** **December 3** rd

As if nine months of physical and emotional pain, nearly impossible rehabilitation, and psychological deterioration had not been enough for Shepard, she had been forced, at the end of all of it, to testify against Nihlus Kryik in front of the Council and hundreds of onlookers. The only saving grace was that Castis had ensured that no reporters, cameras, or recording drones were allowed into the Citadel Tower during the trial.

It was a small consolation for having to watch a vid of the trauma she had endured from an entirely new angle, to hear her own voice screaming and pleading desperately for reprieve. It had almost made her sick to her stomach, but she wouldn’t give anyone in that room the pleasure of seeing her react to the vid in any way.

“Councilors, I maintain that there was no necessity in forcing lieutenant Shepard to endure…” Castis started to speak as soon as the video was over.

He and Chellick were positioned with a handful of other C-sec officers at a table in front of the raised platform where the three Councilors: asari, turian, and salarian, stood listening to the evidence and arguments against Nihlus.

The turian councilor, a broad-shouldered man with red coloring and clan markings identical to Nihlus’, interrupted Castis before he could finish his statement.

“This evidence was necessary to prove Nihlus Kryik’s guilt. In addition, it is our understanding that _Miss_ Shepard has been relieved of her duties as an Alliance lieutenant. Please maintain protocol, commander Vakarian or…”

“You could have easily watched this in a private session!” Chellick jumped to his feet. “Forcing her to relive something like this serves no purpose except to retraumatize her!”

“ _Detective Laratus._ ” Castis put a hand on Chellick’s shoulder and forced him back into his seat.

All the while, Shepard remained silent on the other end of the room, aware of the numerous eyes watching her.

“There’s no sense in all of this arguing.” The asari was the next councilor to speak. “We clearly have the evidence necessary to revoke Nihlus Kryik’s Spectre status. He attacked an Alliance naval officer and nearly killed her. If the connection is true and he _was_ operating a sex trafficking ring…”

“I showed you the evidence!” Chellick spat.

“Commander Vakarian, please keep your subordinates in line.” The turian councilor hissed.

“As I said,” the asari councilor continued. “We have the necessary evidence. Miss Shepard, do you have anything else you would like to add.”

_I hope you fuckers all rot for taking this long to do anything._

“Nothing.” Shepard found she was barely even able to speak.

“Then this trial is over. We hereby revoke Spectre status from Nihlus Kryik, with all associated privileges removed. We will be sending a Spectre after Nihlus to bring him back to the Citadel for sentencing. This court is dismissed.”

Without another word, the councilors stepped away from their platform, through a door to their left, leaving chaos in their wake. All of the onlookers on the balconies overlooking the chambers, as well as those being corralled by C-sec on the main floor, burst into conversation, questions being lobbed at Shepard left and right.

She was going to have a fucking panic attack if she didn’t get out of that room.

The chambers seemed to be closing in on her, the sound of hundreds of voices chattering echoing off the walls and reverberating through her head. She was having trouble breathing, having trouble moving. She clutched desperately at her chair.

“I need to get out…” She gasped. “I need to…”

Before she knew what was happening, two sets of hands were on her shoulders, pulling her from the room, pushing past the crowds of people, down a staircase and through a side door into a cool, quiet hallway. The door mechanism locked behind them.

“Jane? Jane…?” Castis stood in front of her trying to get her to focus on his face.

She hadn’t realized she was hyperventilating until then. Castis grabbed her shoulders.

“Remember to breathe slowly, Jane. Remember what I taught you. Deep breath in…” He inhaled deeply in front of her. “Deep breath out.”

She tried to follow his pattern of breathing, tears welling in her eyes as the vid of the attack replayed in her head, all those eyes staring at her from the balcony…

_Focus on breathing._

If she only paid attention to Castis, she could get through this. It took several minutes, but his steady hands and constant reminders to breathe slowly helped bring her down from her panic. It left her feeling exhausted, but the panic and terror had also been replaced with a growing anger at the injustice of it all. It felt like no consolation at all that Nihlus had been stripped of his Spectre status, because of how long it had taken. They would never find him where he’d gone; he had gotten away with it because of the Council’s refusal to act.

She slammed her fist into the wall, but all that did for her was send an aching pain shooting through her knuckles and up her arm. She let out a strangled cry, half from the pain and half from the frustration, before she burst into tears.

To her enormous surprise, it wasn’t Castis who embraced her then. Two hands grasped her arms tightly and she looked up to realize Chellick had been the other person who had helped Castis escort her from the chamber; she’d hadn’t noticed his presence in her distress.

“It’s over now, Shepard.”

“Chellick, perhaps…” Castis started.

“Over?” Shepard gaped; Chellick took a step back, clearly alarmed by the fire in her eyes. “ _Over?_ He’s still out there! They’ll never find him! And I just have to live with what he did to me.” She shook her head, desperately willing herself not to cry, but the tears came anyway. “This is so fucking unfair! What now? _What now!?_ I have nothing…I have no home…I have no family…”

Castis stepped forward. “Chellick, why don’t you give us a moment?”

“Sure, commander. Shepard…I…”

“Just go,” She spat. She didn’t have the patience to deal with the detective, she barely had the patience to deal with Castis. She should have felt terrible at the look Chellick gave her in response to her dismissal, but she’d barely even registered it.

Once Chellick was gone, Castis stood across from her in the narrow hallway with his arms folded.

“Jane, I know you’re probably feeling overwhelmed right now…”

“That doesn’t quite cover it,” She growled. “I’m feeling fucking pissed, Castis. What do I do now? The hospital discharged me, C-sec won’t put me up in a hotel anymore now that the trial is over. What do I do? I can barely walk on my own. I need a fucking walker to walk for more than a minute. I have nothing… _nothing_.”

“That’s not true. You have me.”

“What are you going to do?” Fresh tears sprang to her face. “Take me home like I’m one of your kids? I’m not your fucking kid, Castis. I’m not a turian. I’m not your family.”

“You don’t have to be a turian, Jane.” Castis mandibles twitched. “I’m offering you all of the things you said you don’t have: a home, a family. I can get you a job at C-sec as soon as you’re able to…”

“Stop it!” She nearly screamed. “As soon as I’m able to what? The Alliance dropped me because the doctors said I’ll never be the same. Look at me! Nine fucking months and I can barely support myself. Fuck C-sec. And fuck you! I don’t want your pity or your help.”

She didn’t mean it, but it was too much to think about letting someone into her life like that. If she had people that cared about her, if she had a family, it was just another weakness, another vulnerability; if Nihlus ever found her again, then she would lose this new family just as she had lost everyone she’d ever cared about. Better to sever the ties. Castis Vakarian didn’t need her dragging him down anyway; he had two kids and a sick wife, he didn’t need a crippled human to look after too.

“Jane, I don’t deserve this behavior. I know you’re upset, but…”

“I don’t fucking care. The trial is over, you have no reason to keep talking to me, so leave me the fuck alone.” She could barely speak through her tears, struggling not to break down completely.

The look of absolute heartbreak in Castis’ eyes could have killed her. “Jane, I know you don’t mean any of this. We can talk about this when…”

“I’m done talking. I’m done with all of this.” She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “Don’t look for me. Don’t come after me. Don’t message me, don’t talk to me. I don’t want to hear from you. Fuck the Council, fuck Nihlus Kryik, fuck C-sec, and fuck you. I don’t care about you, Castis. I hope I never see your fucking face again.”

He said nothing, staring at her in a stony silence. Not even his mandibles betrayed whatever he was feeling then. She clutched at the wall, using it to support herself. The emotional toll of the day had drained all of her energy and the only thing keeping her from collapsing was the knowledge that if Castis came to her aid, she wouldn’t be able to keep up the façade any longer.

She managed to make it out of the hallway, into a waiting elevator. She jammed the button that would take her down to the Presidium, glaring at Castis until the doors closed.

Then she fell to the floor and sobbed until her insides hurt and there were no more tears left to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo boy this was a long one! Sorry/not sorry for the emotional whiplash of intense fluff followed by the stuff with Castis. Thanks so much for all of the wonderful comments! Like wow! I couldn't believe how many people commented on the last chapter. I love and appreciate all of you. More soon!


	17. Lazuli

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **July 25** th

Everything about Shepard’s new relationship with Garrus should have made her want to run, to shut him out and remove him from her life the way she had with his father. Perhaps it was a sign of maturity that she had no plans to do such a thing, or maybe she was getting too soft, allowing herself to accumulate these close relationships that she’d been so scared of five years earlier.

She’d cut Castis out of her life with the naïve idea that she could survive on her own, that if she never got close to anyone, there was no one she could lose to the cruel realities of life. At no point did she stop to consider that the little ragtag group of bounty hunters she shared a home with had become her de facto family, that Chellick had become one of her closest friends, that somehow, as if fate had meant it, a Vakarian was back in her life again.

Nihlus was closer than he’d been in the five years since he’d ripped her open and left her for dead on Elysium, the threat of losing someone she cared about was closer than ever as a result, and for the first time in five years, it seemed worth the risk.

So she didn’t run, even though a part of her wanted to. She would stay, she would hunt Nihlus down and make him pay for what he had done, and then maybe, for once, she could find some peace and happiness again.

She had spent _so long_ in the shadow of her past, chained to the ghost of her trauma. She was ready to be done with it.

Tali had been mining C-sec’s communications since they’d found out about Nihlus’ presence on the Citadel, looking for any sign of his whereabouts, since Chellick wasn’t sharing information, and even if Garrus had wanted to, there was no way he could with as many officers crammed into the station as there were.

Shepard kept Aria apprised of the status of the investigation via Nyreen, never messaging Aria directly. So far, however, there were no new updates; C-sec hadn’t figured out where Nihlus was, so their next approach was to find out when the next big supply would need to be distributed and where the distribution would occur. If they didn’t find Nihlus, they would at least find informative intermediaries.

With no leads to follow, and Garrus working overtime most nights, Shepard had spent her time running bounties with her roommates instead. Garrus still forwarded the info whenever his software got a hit, but always with the caveat that he wouldn’t be able to get away from work, or his father, to join Shepard. At least his steady supply of info on bounties kept the bills paid in Shepard’s apartment, and late at night she would sometimes stop by to see him.

She hadn’t seen much of Chellick in a few weeks though, because Castis seemed to be living at the District 42 C-sec station. A few times she had messaged him to ask if Castis was gone and gotten a quick reply of ‘No, I’ll let you know’. Every once in a while, unprompted, she would receive a message from Chellick along the lines of ‘fucking kill me if Castis comes into my office one more time’.

Between waiting for news from Tali, waiting for bounty information from Garrus, and waiting for Chellick to tell her when Castis wasn’t at the station, Shepard had started to get antsy whenever her omni-tool pinged. Unfortunately, it was almost never a message worth getting excited over.

Over two weeks since the last time she’d seen him, she finally received an all-clear message from Chellick.

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.25][11:33]: Castis is leaving so get your ass over here before he changes his mind._

Shepard didn’t waste any time making for the station, arming herself with the new heavy pistol Garrus had bought for her. All of the gifts he’d gotten her had been unexpected, but while the other gifts had been thoughtful…or alluring, the gun in particular had meant the most to her. It wasn’t that it was expensive, though she was sure he must have paid an exorbitant amount for a gun with such a smooth chrome finish, it was that he had remembered an off-handed comment from before they were barely even friends, and thought to go out of his way to get it for her. Plus, she could tell he’d calibrated it before he gave it to her: no heavy pistol had that small of a kickback and that high of an ammo capacity.

She absolutely didn’t deserve Garrus Vakarian, but she would be damned if she was going to make the same mistake twice by pushing him away.

The station was crawling with officers when she arrived and she realized that if she came in through the front, all of the officers Castis had brought in would see her, possibly recognize her, and potentially tell him she had been by. She messaged Garrus and asked him to meet her by the back entrance to let her in.

It didn’t take long for Garrus to show up. The back entrance opened into the hallway where the offices and break room were located, bypassing most of the eyes in the makeshift command center Castis had set up in the lobby. Garrus greeted her with a kiss that lasted longer than it should have, the two of them stumbling against the doorframe.

When his lips broke away, she felt dizzy. “You can’t kiss me like that here,” she chided. “If anyone saw…”

“I know, I know.”

They broke apart completely and stepped into the hallway. Alenko rounded the corner and skidded to a halt, staring at her. She hadn’t seen anyone besides Lawson since they’d all watched the video of the brutal assault she’d endured. Alenko’s eyes were wide, but she knew he’d been filled in on some of the details others hadn’t; Tali had asked her how much she could tell him, admitting that the video had bothered him immensely.

 “Shepard.” He stared at her.

“Tali told me she talked to you about it.”

Between Shepard’s new relationship with Garrus, and Tali’s budding romance with Alenko, they hadn’t seen much of each other, but she knew enough to know that Tali was smitten and Alenko seemed to be too.

He nodded. “Yeah…look, I’m…really sorry you had to go through that.”

“It’s fine.” _Hardly_ , but delving into her psychological trauma wasn’t on the agenda. She turned to Garrus, “I’m actually here to see Chellick. I’ll stop by the office before I leave, though.”

“Okay.” His hand reached out and squeezed her shoulder; a small, but noticeable display of affection. Alenko observed it with a curious look.

Shepard walked away before Garrus could do anything else to completely give away their relationship, moving down the hallway to Chellick’s office and stepping inside.

Chellick was at his desk, hunched over his terminal, looking like he hadn’t slept in days. When he heard Shepard enter the room, he leaned back in his chair and slumped down.

“You look like shit,” she greeted him.

“I feel like shit too.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut.

She took a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk and watched him. “How’s the investigation going?”

“I can’t talk about it, you know that, Shepard.”

“Fine, fine, I know. Have you taken a break at all, Chellick? Are you even sleeping?” She frowned.

“I’ve been running on stims for the past week. I’ve maybe slept…five hours?”

“Castis is running this damn station ragged…” She started to complain, but Chellick quickly cut her off.

“It’s not just Castis. We all want to find him, Shepard. That footage from the drone really upset a lot of people; they want to see Nihlus brought to justice for what he did to you. You think I’m stabbing myself with stim needles and spending every night in this station for Castis Vakarian? No. I’m doing this for _you_.”

Her face grew warm and she stared at her hands. “I wish you would let me help.”

“If you interfere, you…”

“ _DAD._ What are you doing back so soon?” Garrus’ voice issued loudly from the hallway.

Shepard jolted to her feet. “ _Shit._ Castis.”

Chellick grabbed her wrist and pulled her around his desk, shoving her in the corner beneath it and pulling his chair as far in as he could to keep her hidden. She held herself against the desk, crammed uncomfortably between it and Chellick’s legs. She barely had time to get into position before she heard Castis enter the room, the door sliding shut behind him.

“Executor,” Chellick greeted him. “I thought you were taking the rest of the day off.”

“So did I.”

At the sound of Castis’ voice, so close to her, Shepard felt a rush of emotion that nearly brought tears to her eyes. Goosebumps prickled on her skin. She held herself completely still, struggling to avoid making any sound that would alert him to her presence.

“An update in the case?” Chellick leaned forward, his knee pressing into her shoulder.

“Yes. We need to mobilize a ground squad and move out within the hour. There’s a warehouse in Zakera ward where a supply of Red Sand is being delivered. I just received intel that Nihlus himself may be coming to inspect the supply.”

“What kind of squad are we looking at here?”

“Small, discreet. Ten people at the most. We need to be able move in quietly. I’d like to bring Garrus. I also think Lawson would be a good addition. There are two of my men I want on the squad as well. The rest is up to you. I’m going to go brief the station. You get the squad ready.” She heard Castis take a few steps toward the door before he stopped.

“Something else, executor?” Chellick asked.

“Does she know about this investigation?”

Chellick let out a long sigh. Shepard’s heart was pounding at a hundred miles a minute. “She knows it’s happening. I haven’t been giving her any information about it, if that’s what you’re asking. I’m sure she’s got her own channels to find out though.”

Castis’ subvocals made a sound Shepard couldn’t comprehend. He left the room and Chellick rolled his chair back to let her out from under the desk.

“Shepard, I’m begging you to let us handle this. Don’t go after him. Don’t…”

“I’m sorry, Chellick. I have to.”

Her omni-tool pinged, a message from Tali.

_T_ZorahvasBachjret[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.25][12:25]: C-Sec is after Nihlus. Patching coordinates. Better hurry. Sending info to Nyreen. Thane and I will meet you there._

“ _Shepard_.” Chellick barked. “ _Please_.” He looked desperate, but it was obvious he already knew he was fighting a losing battle.

“I’m going.”

She rushed from the office, slipping out the back door, narrowly avoiding Castis, whose back was turned to her as he spoke to Garrus and Alenko in the back office. Once she was out of the station, she slipped into the parking garage behind it, opened the lockbox, and pilfered a set of keys for one of the unmarked cruisers. She wanted to beat C-Sec to the punch, and she wanted to get to Zakera quickly.

As she was punching the coordinates Tali had sent into the cruiser’s navigation system, the passenger door flew open and she nearly had a heart attack. Expecting Chellick, or worse, Castis, she felt a little relieved when it was Garrus who climbed in next to her.

“What are you doing?” She demanded.

“I’m coming with you. Chellick told me you were going after Nihlus.”

“Garrus, your dad wants you on his ground squad. If you come with me you could lose your job…you could…”

His eyes flashed. “It’s not up for debate, Shepard. I’m coming with you. If it comes down to it I can tell my dad I was trying to apprehend you for stealing a cruiser. Now hurry up before Chellick manages to get away from my dad and come after us. He was pretty pissed.”

Shepard cranked up the cruiser’s speed to maximum and let it navigate them out of the parking lot and onto the skyway toward Zakera ward. Adrenaline was coursing through her veins, and though she wouldn’t say it out loud, she was glad Garrus was with her. She hated the idea of putting him in harm’s way, but he would have been there regardless; if he hadn’t joined her, Castis would have taken him as part of his squad. Better that he wanted to help _her_.

His fingers curled around hers in the small space between the seats.

“I’m scared, Garrus.” She admitted. “What will happen when we get there?”

“One step at a time.” He squeezed her hand.

“Why come with me? You really could lose your job, Garrus. You could be arrested, you could…”

He grabbed her face and kissed her, silencing any further protests. When his mouth pulled away, his face still hovered close, his nose brushing softly against her own.

“You deserve this revenge, Shepard. I saw what he did to you. If C-sec gets there first, they’ll take him in and lock him up in a cell for the rest of his life, which is more than he deserves. I want to see you rip him open. _That’s_ what he deserves.”

God, she was glad he’d decided to come along.

Her omni-tool pinged and she brought up the message, expecting more info from Tali. Instead, the message was from Chellick.

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.25][12:45]: You took a fucking cruiser Shepard?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.25][12:45]: I have to do this._

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.25][12:46]: I have to tell Castis it was you. I have to tell him Garrus is with you._

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.25][12:46]: Dammit Shepard! Garrus could get fired for this!_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.07.25][12:47]: Do what you have to do Chellick._

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.25][12:47]: Don’t die fighting him._

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.25][12:48]: Shepard_

_C_Laratus[Citadel-Security-Terminal-Bachjret-D42][2183.07.25][12:52]: Please be safe_

* * *

 

Zakera ward might have been the nicest ward on the Citadel: cleaner and less violent than some of the others, though still a far cry from the safety and pristine atmosphere of the Presidium. Shepard had rarely visited Zakera; there wasn’t much impetus for her to ever wander so far from Bachjret.

The stolen cruiser touched down a few blocks from the warehouse where Nihlus was supposedly going to be. When Shepard stepped out of the car, she realized she was shaking, her breath ragged and her stomach in knots. She moved around the side of the car, holding onto it as she broke out into a cold sweat.

Now was really not the time for a panic attack.

“Shepard?” Garrus was at her side.

_Deep breath in. Deep breath out._

“If he’s in there…” Her voice quavered.

He placed a firm hand on her shoulder. “Are you going to be okay?”

_Deep breath in. Deep breath out._

She stood up straight and focused on her breathing. “Yes.”

It was time to see where Tali and Thane were. She brought Tali up on her comm link and waited for the other line to pick up.

“Shepard, where are you?” Tali spoke in barely more than a whisper.

“We’re outside the warehouse. What’s your status?”

“Thane and I are inside the warehouse on a balcony overlooking the entire room. There are some crates we’re hiding behind, and more crates down in the main room. Shepard…Nihlus is here.”

Her heart pounded in her ears. “You’re sure it’s him?”

“Positive. He’s at the other end of the room inspecting the shipment. He’s got two krogan bodyguards with him and there are maybe ten batarians who brought the shipment in. One of them is speaking with Nihlus now.”

“Be careful, siha,” Thane’s voice cut in. “He’s heavily armed, as are the krogan. He has a rocket launcher strapped to his back; it seems he’s come with the concern that someone might be after him.”

“I’ll rip that rocket launcher from his back and blast him in the face with it. We’re moving in.”

“ _Be careful!”_ Tali hissed.

The communication was severed. Shepard pulled her heavy pistol from her side and triple-checked that the thermal clip was loaded.

“Are you ready?” She asked Garrus.

He’d brought along his assault rifle, a better choice than a sniper rifle in what would likely be a close-quarters fight. Besides, they had Thane up in the rafters if they really needed a sniper to move in.

“Ready when you are.”

“We need to move in from a side entrance; the main entrance will probably be too open,” Shepard said as they walked the three blocks to where the warehouse in question was. “Once we get inside, we take out anyone who gets in our way. With Nihlus, just shoot to injure, preferably his legs. Once he’s down, I plan on repaying him for what he did to me.”

The thought of ripping Nihlus Kryik open from nape to naval and pulling his insides out was a fantasy that had played over and over in her mind since the attack five years earlier. The fact that that dream could soon be a reality was almost too much to bear.

She hadn’t been wrong about the entrance to the warehouse: the large metal doors at the front of it were wide open as a group of batarians wheeled in barrels full of Red Sand. Shepard and Garrus moved down a side street and looped around to an alley at the side of the warehouse where a much smaller door provided a second entranceway.

Guns at the ready, Garrus unlocked the door with his omni-tool and they slipped inside.

The warehouse was poorly lit, and it took a moment for Shepard’s eyes to adjust to the darkness. Voices sounded from the other side of the room; batarians arguing as they dragged barrel after barrel of Red Sand up the ramp to a platform where Nihlus must have been. All of the crates littering the warehouse combined with the dim lighting made it difficult for Shepard to piece apart where exactly Nihlus was.

Until she heard his voice.

“This barrel is spoiled!” His subharmonics hit an angry pitch as he spoke. “Look, you can see where water got in. This is almost three hundred thousand credits worth of Red Sand, you idiot! Are you going to pay me for letting it spoil?”

Garrus sidled along a row of crates, his vision far better than Shepard’s in the dark. She followed him, weaving silently around the crates, until they reached the other end of the warehouse, peering around to get a full view of Nihlus.

This end of the warehouse had slightly better lighting; an overhead lamp shone directly on the platform where Nihlus stood examining the barrels of Red Sand. The batarian he had been yelling at looked terrified, taking a step back as Nihlus paced across the platform. Shepard inhaled sharply at the sight of him.

He looked older; the last five years had not been kind to him. The wear and tear of whatever life he’d been living as a fugitive was evident across his facial plates, in the chips and cracks that spread along it, in the fatigue and anger in his eyes.

_“He was the love of my life…you killed him!”_

Shepard had not been the only one dealing with a ghost for the past five years.

“Get this shit out of here!” Nihlus barked. “Bring in the next barrel. Any more ruined supply and my krogan will deal with you.”

The batarian moved away, rolling the ruined barrel of Red Sand with him. Nihlus paced and rubbed his brow plate.

“Any word?” He asked one of the krogan standing behind him.

“Rumors of C-sec movement.” The krogan shrugged. “They’re coming from Bachjret if they are moving, though, so we have some time.”

“We better hurry this process up. I’m not sticking around to deal with Castis fucking Vakarian. I want to know how the hell he found out I’m operating here. How the _hell_ did he trace my aliases back to my real name?” It seemed like more of a rhetorical question than anything, but one of the krogan responded anyway.

“The detective who helped him on the case against you. He’s the one who gathered the intel. According to my sources.”

“That worm is still running around C-sec too?”

“He’s a captain now.”

“I don’t want to deal with either of them,” Nihlus hissed. “We’ve got a huge supply here that needs to be moved. One of you go keep watch outside. If you see any signs of C-sec, sound the alarm. In the meantime, I have work to do.”

One of the krogan left obediently, moving slowly along the platform and off toward the front of the warehouse. The batarians were still moving barrels toward that end as well, which left Nihlus alone with only one krogan to protect him.

Without warning, without really thinking about _what_ her fucking plan was, Shepard leaped out of cover with her gun raise, pointed directly at Nihlus. Garrus ran after her as soon as he realized what she had done. A shot fired from above almost as soon as it was apparent Shepard was out of cover, and the next moment the krogan was on the ground with a bullet in his brain; Thane never hesitated and he never missed. Garrus kept his back to Nihlus, training his gun on the batarians and the krogan at the other end of the warehouse. Some of them had run at the sound of gunfire, but the krogan was wheeling around to find out what had happened.

“Nihlus Kryik!” Shepard shouted.

The turian was scanning the rafters for signs of the sniper that had just taken down his bodyguard, but when Shepard yelled, his eyes darted down to meet hers; it sent a jolt of electricity down her spine.

Nihlus’ mandibles pinched against his face. “ _You._ ”

“Disappointed I’m not dead?” Shepard asked, holding her gun as steady as her body would allow, the sight of Nihlus filling her with both panic and anticipation.

“That doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Nihlus gripped the railing of the platform where he stood. “How the fuck did you survive? You _should_ be dead. When they told me you had lived…” He clenched one hand into a fist. “You deserved what I did to you, you bitch.”

“Krogan’s charging,” Garrus called, firing his assault rifle.

Shepard felt a few shots from the krogan clip her shields, but Garrus brought him down before he could do any lasting damage. The remaining batarians scattered, unwilling to die for whatever paltry sum Nihlus was paying them to handle his shipments. Garrus spun around and trained his gun on Nihlus.

“What’s your plan here, little girl?” Nihlus asked, pacing once more along the platform. “You thought you’d charge in and take your revenge for what I did? _I_ was the one seeking revenge. You _killed_ Saren. Do you have any idea what it’s like to lose someone you love?”

Was he fucking kidding?

“You don’t know a fucking thing about me,” Shepard hissed. “All you know is I killed Saren and you’re pissed about it. Does it not matter that he killed two of my fellow officers first? You have no clue what I went through after you gutted me open and left me for dead. All I’ve thought about for the last five years is killing you.”

“Then we’re the same,” he responded coolly. “Do you know how hard it was to find any information on you? That fucking paragon of duty, Castis Vakarian, made damn sure your name never got out. _Lone Survivor._ That’s all _I_ had to go on. It took me years to find out your real name. _Jane._ ”

A chill ran down her spine. She fired off a shot that clipped Nihlus’ shields.

“He’s playing games with you, Shepard.” Garrus said softly. “Don’t buy into it.”

“I’m at a disadvantage here, Jane.” Nihlus held his hands up. “You have your friend with the assault rifle and a sniper up in the rafters and you’ve taken down both of my bodyguards. Hardly a fair fight.”

“Was it a fair fight when you pinned me down and tore me open?”

“One on one. It’s not my fault you were so _weak_.” He hissed.

“Why don’t we make it even less fair?” A flash of blue exploded next to Nihlus as a crate went flying into the wall, narrowly missing his head. Aria T’loak was suddenly at Shepard’s side, surrounded in a biotic aura, her eyes burning. Nyreen stood behind her, in line with Garrus, also glowing with biotic energy, though she had a gun in hand as well.

“How sweet,” Nihlus’ mandibles twitched. “Two people I hate most in this entire galaxy and you’ve become friends.”

“A friendship of necessity,” Aria said. “You would have sold me to be raped and brutalized. I should rip that fucking fringe right off your scalp.”

In one swift movement, Nihlus pulled the rocket launcher from his back. It was a bulky thing, nearly as large as he was. Shepard could only imagine what the kickback on a weapon like that would be, but he would only need one well-placed blast to take all four of them down.

“What was that about a fair fight?” Nyreen muttered.

“This isn’t your battle, friends,” Nihlus addressed Garrus and Nyreen. “I have no qualms with you if you turn around and leave this warehouse. Even Aria isn’t a real concern…though I wouldn’t mind killing two birds with one stone. That is the human expression, isn’t it, Jane?”

With the rocket launcher in the mix, Shepard was beginning to feel real concern. Her heart was racing. If he fired the launcher, the blast would kill her; there was no question about it. A powerful rocket to the face would blow her skull into a million pieces. She took a step back, gun still trained on Nihlus. If she ran now, would he flee the Citadel? Surely C-sec had implemented stricter travel regulations with the knowledge that Nihlus was on the station. What if this was her only chance to kill him? Was it worth dying to see her revenge?

“I’m giving you five seconds to run,” Nihlus said. “This is about me and Jane. If you leave now, you keep your lives.”

Aria clearly wouldn’t settle for such a deal. She directed a biotic blast at Nihlus’ head, but his shields absorbed the damage.

“You think I’m that stupid, Aria?” He asked. “That I wouldn’t be prepared for a biotic like you? I know your reputation in Bachjret ward and I know about your little biotic girlfriend. If it wasn’t Jane coming after me, I knew it would be you, though I have to admit I didn’t expect you to be working together.”

“Aria, we should go,” Nyreen spoke urgently.

“No! I’m not letting him get away with what he did to me, Nyreen. What he…”

“ _Enough!”_ Nihlus screamed. “I’m done playing games. You die today, Jane Shepard.”

He fired the rocket launcher, the kickback nearly knocking him to the ground. Time seemed to slow to a halt as the rocket flew forward, the size of Shepard’s head and moving straight for her. She was aware of Nyreen grabbing Aria in her periphery, pulling her to the ground and bringing up a barrier to protect them from the blast.

“Shepard!” Garrus shouted next to her.

She felt rooted to the spot. Her impulsiveness would finally be her end. She should have let C-sec handle it, should have thought about what she was doing before she rushed from Chellick’s office without a plan. Now she was going to die, after so much pain and struggle, Nihlus was going to succeed where he had failed five years earlier.

The rocket came closer and closer and then suddenly Garrus was in front of her, checking her to the side with the full force of his weight, knocking her flat on her back. She looked up in time to see the rocket collide with his face, quickly eating through his shields as it exploded in a flash of blinding light.

She felt the heat of the explosion, felt shrapnel from the rocket lodge itself in her leg. Nihlus took off as soon as he’d fired the launcher, running for an exit in the back of the warehouse. Shepard was barely aware of what was happening, her ears ringing from the sound of the explosion. She struggled to her feet and stumbled over to where Garrus lay face down in a pool of his own blood.

_No. Not this. Anything but this._

Pain was coursing through her leg, but she ignored it, too focused on Garrus, too worried about what she would see when she turned him over. It was a struggle to move his heavy body, forcing him onto his back, and the sight of his face made an unbidden sob escape her throat.

The rocket had blown apart half of his facial plating, leaving craters in what remained all along the right side of his face. His right mandible had been torn open, dangling at an unnatural angle. All along his neck, the skin had been burned and ripped apart by the blast, blue blood pouring from his wounds. Shepard pressed her hands against his neck, struggling to apply medi-gel wherever she could to help stem the blood flow, probing desperately for a heartbeat.

He was still alive, if barely.

It was no time to panic, she needed to get him to medical attention as soon as possible or he was going to die. She turned around to find Aria and Nyreen had already fled, but Thane and Tali were winding their way through the warehouse toward her.

Garrus’ blood was all over her, soaking through her shirt, smeared across her face, her hands stained with it.

“Garrus…” She was in such a state of shock that she couldn’t even cry.

Thane was at her side then, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Is he alive?”

“Yes…yes, but how long?” Shepard gasped. “We have to get him out of here. We have to get him to a hospital!”

“I’m calling for an ambulance right now,” Tali told her.

“What can we do? Help me!” Shepard begged. “Help me, Thane! What can I do? He’s lost so much blood…”

“You’ve done everything you can, siha. The medi-gel will help keep the wounds sealed. We can only wait now.” He knelt down, tending to the shrapnel in her leg and applying medi-gel, though she was barely aware of what was happening.

All she could think about was that if Garrus died, it would be her fault. She never should have let him come with her; she couldn’t lose him, she couldn’t bear it. He meant too much to her.

She rested her hands on his chest, his breath shallow and weak.

“Please, Garrus…please don’t die…”

Sirens sounded at the front of the warehouse and all three of them looked up at the sound, hoping it was the ambulance. Shepard knew it was far too soon for any Citadel-issue ambulance to have arrived so quickly. Three police cruisers touched down near the entrance and the doors flew open.

C-sec had arrived.

* * *

 

**[Playlist link](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woof. Now we get into it. Thanks to all who have been reading and commenting!! I'm so glad that people are enjoying this story cause I'm honestly so attached to all these space nerds. More soon!


	18. Things Fall Apart

**2183  
** **Zakera Ward – District 21  
** **July 25** th

Even if Shepard could have found the strength to run from C-sec when they arrived at the warehouse, she wouldn’t have done it. The thought of leaving Garrus in the state he was in was too painful; so painful that for the first time in five years, she was willing to face Castis Vakarian again.

“You two should go,” she told Thane and Tali. “Run. There’s no reason for you to get arrested too.”

“Shepard, we’re not leaving you,” Tali growled.

Chellick was the first of the officers to reach them, sprinting ahead of the others, as though getting there first might somehow protect Shepard from Castis once he saw what had become of his son.

He scanned the scene with wide eyes. “Spirits,” he gasped. “Shepard, what happened?”

“He needs medical attention.” She must have looked crazed, covered in Garrus blood, clinging desperately to his side.

“You two need to leave. _Now_.” Chellick addressed Tali and Thane.

“We aren’t leaving her!”

“I’ll take care of Shepard. Get the hell out of here. I can’t bail you out this time and Castis won’t be as accommodating as I am.”

“Go,” Shepard agreed. “I’ll send you updates when we get to the hospital.”

Tali and Thane exchanged a glance.

“You had better handle this, Chellick.” Tali warned before the two of them took off through the back of the warehouse.

Chellick knelt down next to Shepard and gently tugged her away from Garrus’ side. “Shepard. Shepard, look at me. What happened?”

“Nihlus had a rocket launcher…” She struggled to pull her gaze away from Garrus’ motionless body. “Chellick, what if he dies? I applied medi-gel, but there’s so much blood…”

Lawson was the next one to reach them, skidding to a halt when she saw Garrus.

“ _Christ_. What the hell happened?”

“We need to get an emergency medical transport in here right away.” Chellick pulled Shepard to her feet and she clung to him, feeling dazed. “Call in forensics. Shepard saw Kryik. Apparently he had a rocket launcher.”

“Tali called for an ambulance,” Shepard managed to say.

“C-sec will be faster. Dammit, Shepard…” She could tell Chellick was angry with her, but he was trying not to let it show. In addition to possibly killing Garrus, she had likely single-handedly ruined the investigation against Nihlus.

Beyond Chellick’s shoulder, she could see Castis approaching. Seeing him again after so long didn’t help all of the emotions swirling inside of her. It also made her acutely aware of the familial resemblance between Garrus and his father.

His mandibles were set tight against his face as he moved, his eyes burning with a rage she had had never seen before. Lawson stepped aside, more officers approached, and Castis drew close enough to see what had happened to Garrus. He came to an abrupt halt, mouth slack at the sight of his son with a hole blown in the side of his face. His eyes darted from Garrus to Shepard, covered head-to-toe in his blood; he fixed her with a look that could kill.

Before she knew what was happening, Castis had wrenched her out of Chellick’s grip and his hand was around her throat, thrusting her with force into one of the nearby shipping containers. His talons pricked her skin; just one hand was large enough to nearly crush her windpipe.

Castis Vakarian, who never lost his temper.

“What did you do to him?” He screamed. “What did you do to him, Shepard?”

He had never referred to her as anything other than Jane, _never_ deferred to her surname the way everyone else did. The shock of it was almost worse than his hand wrapped around her throat.

She clawed at his fingers in a vain attempt to free herself. “Please…”

“ _Executor Vakarian!_ ” Lawson and Chellick were at his side.

“Castis.” Chellick gripped his shoulder. “Castis, you’re going to kill her!”

A spark of something familiar lit behind his eyes, if only briefly, and he released his grip on Shepard’s neck. She stumbled back against the crate, coughing and gasping for air, but there was no reprieve from Castis’ rage. He shoved her into the crate, talons digging into her shoulder.

“If he dies, I _will_ kill you.” With that, he swept over to his son’s side. “Chellick, take her into the station for impeding a C-sec investigation and assaulting an officer.”

“Castis, you know she didn’t do this…” Chellick’s mandibles twitched. “You know it was Nihlus. You’re both upset and…”

Castis turned his head, glaring at Chellick. “ _Captain Laratus._ Take this criminal into the station or turn in your badge.”

“No, please.” Shepard rushed forward. “Please, Castis, don’t do this. I have to stay with him. I have to…”

“You don’t come near him,” Castis hissed. “Chellick. _Now._ ”

Sighing, Chellick did what he knew had to be done. He grabbed Shepard’s arms, pulling them behind her back and locking them into cuffs. She struggled and squirmed and did everything in her power not to start crying in front of all of those C-sec officers. It was a challenge every time she glanced back at Garrus.

“Please…please, Castis!” She begged. “You don’t understand. _Please_.”

“Get her out of here!” He shouted. “And Chellick? If I show up at the station and she’s gone missing, you’ll be out of a job. Do we understand each other?”

“Yes, executor.”

Chellick pushed Shepard out of the warehouse and into the back of a police cruiser. He climbed into the driver’s seat and plugged the coordinates for the station into the car, not bothering to activate the barrier between the front and back of the cruiser. As the cruiser took off, up into the skyway, he turned around in his seat to face her.

“I’m sorry, Shepard. I had to do my job.”

She stared out the window, refusing to meet his gaze, still trying desperately not to cry. “Castis is going to kill me. He’ll wait until Garrus is at the hospital and then he’s going to come to the station and he’s going to kill me.”

“He’s not going to kill you, Shepard. He’s just distraught.” Chellick assured her. “I really wish you would think before you did things sometimes. I know you’re upset about Garrus, but _Spirits_ , Shepard, you just fucked up our entire investigation. If we had captured Nihlus alive, I would have been the first in line to let you in his cell to get your revenge. Why do you have to be so fucking impulsive and careless?”

“Just to piss you off, I guess.”

His subvocals chirped at an irritated pitch. “Well you’re doing a damn good job!”

“Do you even care about how I feel right now? Garrus could die! Do you care about that at all, Chellick?”

“Of course I fucking care!” He growled. “But he would have never been in harm’s way if you hadn’t run out of my office hell bent on finding Nihlus.”

“Like I wasn’t already blaming myself for this?” Wasn’t Chellick supposed to be the one who made her feel better at a time like this?

“Well take some fucking responsibility, Shepard! Your actions have consequences. I can’t just sit here and lie to you and act like you’re some innocent little angel and this is all happening to you for no reason. I asked you to stay out of this investigation. I _begged_ you. Did you get what you wanted? Is Nihlus dead? Or did he escape again? Five _fucking_ years, Shepard.” He slammed his fist against the steering wheel. “You aren’t the only one who wants to put an end to this.”

She didn’t say anything. There was nothing _to_ say. She was angry with him for not soothing her with meaningless reassurances, as if she deserved them.

Several minutes passed in stony silence.

She ended the silence with possibly the stupidest question she could have asked in that moment. “Is this because you’re jealous of Garrus?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Chellick sounded more exasperated than angry. “You’re not the center of the universe, Shepard. Garrus is my friend too. You think I liked seeing him like that? You think I’m happy that you’re so upset? I know how much it must hurt not to be with him at a time like this. I’m just doing my fucking job.”

Shepard swallowed her pride. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have been so thoughtless and selfish.”

He rubbed his brow plate and sighed. “I’m sorry too. You know I have to put you in lockdown when we get to the station. If you’re lucky, I’ll be able to talk Castis out of dropping the charge for assaulting an officer, but you’re going to end up serving some time. I can’t bail you out this time.”

“I know.”

“I’ll do what I can.”

She didn’t deserve Chellick, just like she didn’t deserve Garrus.

When they reached the station, he escorted her past the officers who had remained behind, down the long hallway at the back of the station, and down a winding set of stairs to a row of cells in the basement. Each cell provided no privacy, with floor-to-ceiling glass walls looking in, and little comfort; a cot hung from the wall on either side of the cell and a filthy toilet sat in the corner.

Chellick uncuffed her and followed her into one of the cells, setting her down on a cot and squatting down next to her.

“Do you want to get cleaned up before I leave? We have some clothes-“

“No. I don’t want to wear prison clothes.”

“You’re sure? What about food or water?”

She shook her head. “Just leave me, Chellick.”

He brushed his hand through her hair, matted though it was with Garrus’ blood. As he stood up, he kissed the top of her head.

“He’ll be okay. I’ll try to keep you updated.”

With that, he stripped her of her weapons and left the cell, locking it behind him. She watched him go and then fell down onto the cot and finally let herself cry. 

* * *

 

Shepard had no clue how much time had passed. She’d cried until she was too tired to do so, letting exhaustion take over as she fell asleep on the uncomfortable cot in the tiny cell where Chellick had left her. She knew he had to do it, and preferred that he not lose his job over her, but it hurt all the same. It had been almost three years since she’d spent any real time in a cell at a C-sec station. If Castis didn’t kill her, she might be spending time in a cell in a _prison._

After what she felt must have been hours, she eventually heard footsteps sounding on the stairs leading down to the cells from the main floor of the station. She sat up, hoping her rest had erased any signs of her tears, bracing herself for what she knew was coming.

The footsteps drew closer and Castis Vakarian appeared in front of the cell door, his hands and arms stained blue, though not to the same extent that Shepard’s were. He tapped on the glass interface in the middle of the cell door and it swung open, then he stepped inside and took a seat on the cot opposite Shepard, steepling his hands together and resting his elbows on his thighs. Shepard stared at him, waiting for him to speak.

“Why was my son with you at the warehouse?” He asked after several seconds of silence.

“He wanted to come with me.” There was no use in lying to Castis and she knew as much. “So I let him.”

“ _Why_? What exactly is the nature of your relationship with Garrus?” His brow plate shifted.

“He has a program that pulls new bounties that get placed on criminals from C-sec’s database. He sends me the hits he gets and helps me bring them in after work hours,” she explained.

“How long?”

“Almost four months.”

Castis mandibles flared. He fixed her with a hard stare. “What else?”

“What do you mean?” Feigning innocence was probably as bad as lying, and she wasn’t very good at it.

“Answer the damn question, Shepard.”

She felt a little prick of irritation. He had forced her away from Garrus, forced Chellick to lock her up in this cell, while he tended to his son. He had no idea what Garrus meant to her, no idea how much pain she was in thinking about the fact that he could very well die from his injuries. He had _forced her_ to be in that cell and now he was prying her with questions when they both should have been at the hospital with Garrus.

“What do you want me to tell you, Castis?” She stood up. “What do you want me to say? Do you really want to hear that I’m fucking your son? Do you really want to hear that he’s _the best_ I’ve _ever had_? Do you want to know all the different positions he fucked me in? How much I love his big blue-“

“Enough!” He slapped her across the face and she reeled, stumbling back against the cot.

She had probably deserved that.

Castis sighed and buried his face in his hands. “You are such a profound disappointment.”

His words hurt far worse than the slap had.

“Why are you even here?” She demanded. “You should be with Garrus.”

“I haven’t seen you in five years and I finally do and you’re covered in my son’s blood and he might _die_ because of your foolish behavior. I should kill you. I want to.” He clenched his fists. “I’ve never felt so angry in my entire life. I haven’t lost my temper like this since I was a child. I already suspected you were down here corrupting this station playing on Chellick’s particular interests, but to corrupt my son…you knew who he was. You should have left him alone.”

“Corrupt him?” Shepard laughed humorlessly. “ _He_ approached _me_ about the bounties. _He_ came on to _me_. Fuck you. Your son isn’t some paragon of innocence like you want to believe. All I did was agree to work with him.”

“You shouldn’t have. You should have walked away when you found out who he was.”

“Okay, so keep yelling at me and telling me what I should have done, Castis.” She gripped the edges of the cot. “I can’t undo what happened. In the meantime, we could both be at the fucking hospital right now. You’ve only got me locked in this cell because you’re angry at me. I know you didn’t become executor locking people up for no fucking reason. Let me go. I want to see Garrus.”

“I don’t want you coming near him ever again,” he hissed. “I want you out of his life. You’re nothing but trouble. Garrus is a _good_ officer. He can go places, if your little stunt hasn’t left him crippled. If you come near him I’ll make sure you spend the rest of your life rotting in a cell, Shepard.”

Unwelcome tears sprang to Shepard’s face at the sheer though of never seeing Garrus again. She pulled herself onto the cot and turned away from Castis, struggling in vain to keep from crying. Little, pathetic sobs escaped her throat.

“What is this?” Castis demanded, his voice laced with anger. “You’ve never been the type for crocodile tears, Shepard. Is this the kind of person you’ve become?”

“Fuck you!” She sobbed. “Don’t you understand?”

“Understand what?”

“I’m in love with him!” She wasn’t sure she’d even realized how she felt until she said it out loud. She wiped the tears from her eyes, but more took their place. “I love him, Castis. Do what you’re going to do. I don’t care. I won’t let you keep me from him.”

Castis’ subvocals hit a pitch she was unfamiliar with. “I didn’t know you were even capable of loving someone.”

Another sob escaped her throat. “What a cruel thing to say.”

“Not nearly as cruel as the things you said to me the last time we spoke.”

“What the hell can I say?” She gasped. “Do you honestly think I meant any of it? If you had bothered to try and contact me I would have come back in a heartbeat. I missed you so much.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, tracing a path through the blue blood smeared across her face. “I did what I had to do down here to survive. I didn’t want to be close to anyone so that I couldn’t get hurt…so that I couldn’t lose anyone. But it’s unavoidable. And now I might lose Garrus, and I know it’s my fault, and I know how much you must hate me. I’m so sorry, Castis. I’m sorry I’m such a failure and a disappointment.” The sobs wracking her chest were almost painful.

Castis said nothing. After a moment, he crossed the small cell and sat down next to her, pulling her against his shoulder with a sigh.

“I don’t hate you, Jane.” For some reason, this made her cry harder. “There was a time when nothing would have made me happier than to know you and Garrus were in love. But now…”

“Now you want better for him.” She finished his thought.

“You have a lot of problems you need to sort out in your life. I don’t want Garrus to be part of that.” She opened her mouth to protest and he cut her off. “Unfortunately, my son has never been one to listen to orders well. Does he love you, Jane?”

They had never said it out loud. It felt far too soon; they had barely been _together_ more than a month. But they had spent nearly four months in close company and feelings were feelings, regardless of whether they were rational or appropriately timed. She had a hard time believing he would have flung himself in front of a rocket if he _didn’t_ love her.

“I don’t know.”

Castis sighed and stood up. “Come on.”

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“We’re taking a cruiser up to the hospital. Garrus is in surgery right now, but I’m sure they’ll have an update for us soon.”

She hesitated, staring at him. “Why?”

“Because I missed you too, Jane. And it’s at least reassuring to know that you didn’t mean those terrible things you said to me, even if it will take some time to reconcile that with five years of bitterness.” He offered his hand to her and she took it, letting him help her up.

As she followed him up out of the station to a waiting cruiser, she couldn’t help but wonder what her life might have been like if she’d never pushed him away. Would she still want to hunt down Nihlus? Would she have fallen in love with Garrus either way?

But if she had never sought her own path, she would never have met Tali or Thane or Jack or any of the bounty hunters she’d rounded up and turned into a family. And what about Chellick? Would he have ever been more than a passing acquaintance? Or would it have been _him_ that she ended up falling in love with?

So many hypotheticals were racing through her mind, as if any of them mattered. The reality was, she _had_ pushed Castis out of her life, but he had come back into it anyway. It wouldn’t be easy, but she wanted to regain his trust. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed him until she was staring at him in that cell.

As the cruiser made the drive toward the Presidium, undoubtedly headed to Huerta Memorial, considering it was the best hospital on the Citadel, Shepard watched Castis; his gaze was set out the window, not betraying any hint of his emotion.

 “How much do you know about my record?” She asked after some time had passed.

“I’ve read the entire thing.” He shrugged. “Seems like Chellick might not be so deserving of the promotion he received. There’s quite a few bails claimed in the system that seem unaccounted for in our funds. I had hoped both of you were above such things.”

“Chellick is my friend. He was just helping me out.”

“In exchange for what, exactly? Don’t answer that. I already know. Is Garrus aware of your relationship with Chellick?”

“We don’t have a _relationship_ anymore. We haven’t since Garrus and I…” Her cheeks grew warm. She didn’t want to discuss this with Castis.

“I should fire both of them. Sleeping with inmates, falsifying bails…” He shook his head.

“It was only me.”

“Oh, what a _relief_.” His mandibles pinched against his face.

“I’m sorry for what I said about Garrus.” She cleared her throat. “It wasn’t appropriate.”

“Thank you. I would appreciate never having to hear anything of the sort about my son ever again, if it’s all the same to you.” She was surprised when he let out a small laugh. “My daughter will be happy. Garrus bringing _you_ home is a lot worse than the asari she’s dating.”

“Have you told her what happened?”

“Not yet. I should call her, but I’ll wait until we get to the hospital and find out more.” He sighed and his mandibles twitched. She thought she heard the faintest keening note issuing from deep within his subvocals, but just as quickly, it was gone. “I understand now why Garrus was so affected by the video footage of your attack.”

“It really upset him.”

“Of course it did.” His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel. “Jane…if he doesn’t make it…”

Shepard bit her lip and stared out the window. He _had_ to make it. She couldn’t live with any other outcome. If he didn’t, she thought she might just _let_ Castis kill her.

A little unsure of what she was doing, she stretched her arm across the car and placed her hand on top of Castis’, squeezing it gently; it was the same gesture he had always offered during her worst moments of recovery, but she wasn’t sure how he would react.

His fingers uncurled from around the steering wheel and he let her comparably small hand fold into his.

“He’ll make it through this. He has to.”

Castis met her gaze. “I hope you’re right.”

* * *

 

It was a roughly twenty-minute ride from Bachjret up to the Presidium, though it felt much longer. When the cruiser landed outside of Huerta Memorial, Shepard felt an entirely new rush of emotions. She hadn’t stepped foot inside that hospital since they’d discharged her nearly five years earlier. Stepping inside the sterile lobby, the smells and sights brought all of those memories flooding back: months spent in that hospital bed wishing she were dead, all of the agony and the pain. Had it really been five years already?

The main floor of the hospital was a dual-purpose information and visitor center. A cluster of chairs along the far wall allowed a gorgeous view of the Presidium through floor-to-ceiling windows. At the moment, half of the waiting area was filled with C-sec officers and, to Shepard’s surprise, every single one of her roommates. Chellick was having a loud argument with Zaeed and Wrex about their presence.

“You didn’t need to bring the whole damn house! This is a hospital!”

“You think we were just going to sit around at home once we found out _Nihlus_ is back? Shepard needs our support, you can’t make us leave. We haven’t done anything.” Wrex jabbed Chellick in the chest with his finger.

“ _Excuse me_.” Castis barked.

The entire reception area fell silent as all eyes turned to him. Chellick took one look at Shepard and then he was at her side, fussing over her like a mother hen.

“Have there been any updates on Garrus?” Castis asked.

“Nothing yet. They said the surgery would last a few hours. There’s…a lot to repair.” Chellick explained. Both of his hands were on Shepard’s arms and she was sure his behavior was doing nothing to placate Castis’ concerns about their relationship.

He said nothing, though, simply walked over to an empty chair facing the window and sat down in quiet contemplation.

“What happened?” Chellick asked.

Before she could respond, Wrex, Zaeed, Jacob, and Jack had swarmed around her.

“Shepard, why didn’t you tell us about Nihlus?”

“We could have helped!”

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

“Oh, so Tali and Thane get to know everything but the rest of us are chopped liver?”

Shepard didn’t have the energy or the patience to deal with them.

“Would you all back the hell off?” Chellick hissed. “Leave her alone!”

“Fuck you, Chellick. You want me to rip that fringe off your head?” Jack took a step toward him.

“Keelah, enough!” Tali stepped forward holding a small bag. “Give Shepard some room. She’s going through a lot right now.” She handed the bag to Chellick. “Go get her cleaned up.”

“Come on, Shepard.” Chellick grabbed her arm. She let him lead her across the lobby, down a hall to a small private room designated for patients’ families. She was just relieved to get away from the noise and chaos her strange little family had created, too tired and numb to really process much of anything.

Inside the room were a couch and a table, and off to the side, a tiny little bathroom with a shower barely big enough to turn around in. Chellick placed the bag Tali had given him on the couch and set the water running in the shower.

“Do you want someone else to do this?” He asked as his hands moved to the hem of her shirt.

“No.” Tali would have been her only other choice, but it was a pain for her to get her enviro-suit wet.

She lifted her arms and let Chellick undress her, helping him where she could. Just standing felt like such an enormous task; the stress and the concern combined with all of the adrenaline that had been pumping through her body earlier had left her utterly exhausted. Once she was naked, she stood in front of him while he pulled his own clothes off. Garrus’ blood had stained through her clothes, leaving her chest and stomach covered in blue.

Chellick pulled her into the shower, the hot water rushing over them as they stepped in. She had taken plenty of showers with Chellick, but there was nothing sexual or alluring about this. He set to work, grabbing a fresh bar of soap from a stack on the side of the shower and scrubbing at her skin to remove the blood that coated it. He scrubbed so hard it made her skin raw, but she said nothing, just let him continue to clean her, watching the water turn blue as it circled down the drain.

“What happened with Castis?” He asked as he cleaned her arms.

“A lot.” She sighed. “Chellick…I’m in love with Garrus.”

“Yeah.” He clearly wasn’t surprised.

“It hurts so much.” She clutched her chest and leaned against him. “I hate it.”

“Yeah, love’s a bitch.” He rubbed her back. “He’s going to be okay, Shepard.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Well what good does it do to think he won’t be?” He brought the bar of soap against her chest. “You’ll just make yourself sick thinking about it. Turians are pretty tough. Apart from a krogan, we might be the only ones who could take a hit like that and walk away from it. If he hadn’t jumped in front of you, you’d be dead.”

His talons dimpled into her flesh as he held her with one hand and scrubbed with the other. She had a feeling he was compensating by squeezing her so tightly while he cleaned her breasts, to avoid any touch seeming too light or affectionate.

“Castis asked me about you,” she told him.

“Yeah?”

“He’s disappointed in you and Garrus. For sleeping with me. He said he should fire both of you. He obviously won’t.” She shrugged. “It’s so strange to see him again. I don’t know how he doesn’t hate me.”

“You hate yourself enough for everyone else, I think.” When she opened her mouth to protest, Chellick interrupted her. “Don’t argue. You’re nearly as self-loathing as I am. _Nearly_.” He lathered some soap into his hands and massaged it through her hair. The feeling of his blunt talons scratching against her scalp was incredibly soothing, and she leaned her head against his shoulder as his hands moved.

“Our relationship is a little fucked up, isn’t it?”

“A little?” He snorted.

“What happens after this? What if Nihlus flees the Citadel?”

“We have a very strict clearance protocol in place at every dock to keep him here. But it’s still a huge station. It might take us years to pick up his trail again.” Chellick shrugged.

“I’m so sorry, Chellick.” Shepard felt like all she had done lately was apologize for her behavior. “I should have listened. This is all my fault. Everything…I should have just…God, I don’t know. I should have never run from things in the first place.”

He brushed her cheek with his thumb. “Probably. But you did. Nothing to be done about it. I think right now you should spend a little less time focusing on Nihlus and a little more time focusing on Castis. And Garrus, as much as I hate to admit it. If Castis was willing to break C-sec protocol and walk you out of my station, then I guarantee he’s willing to try and rebuild your relationship. And Garrus is going to need someone to look after him while he recovers.”

“It’s not as easy as forgetting about Nihlus. Especially now that I’ve seen him again.” She sighed.

“You let me worry about him,” Chellick said. “This investigation is going to continue until we track him down again. Now that he knows we’re after him, he might get sloppy.”

She knew he was right; focusing on Garrus’ recovery - if he made it through this - and on rebuilding her relationship with Castis was far more important than spending all her time trying to find Nihlus again. If C-sec was going to continue the hunt, that would have to be good enough for now.

It took some time to clean all of the blood from her skin, and when Chellick finished, she was red and raw from the intensity of his scrubbing. After toweling off and dressing in the change of clothes Tali had brought, they returned to the lobby.

Somewhat to Shepard’s surprise, Tali was curled against Alenko on one of the benches in the waiting area. She knew they were getting more serious about each other, but she hadn’t expected any open displays of affection in the presence of so many other C-sec officers. It seemed everyone was too distraught to worry about protocol.

Shepard wandered over to where Castis still sat staring out the window and took a seat next to him.

“Anything?” she asked.

“No.” He didn’t look at her as he spoke. “Were you lying to me about Chellick, Jane?”

She sighed. “Castis, what are you looking for here? Just tell me, okay? I haven’t had sex with Chellick since Garrus and I decided to be together. Garrus knows we’ve had sex with each other. What exactly is your concern?”

“I already dislike the idea of my son being in a relationship with you. I like it considerably less when there’s a concern that you’re not being faithful to him. Barely five minutes watching the two of you together and it’s quite apparent there’s something more there. He was fawning over you as soon as you walked in. He went with you to _bathe_.” He finally turned his gaze to meet hers. “Hardly appropriate for someone supposedly in a committed relationship.”

Shepard bristled. “Oh, yeah, Castis. Chellick took me into the shower and fucked me while Garrus might be dying on some operating table. Look, I can acknowledge that it’s weird and maybe not appropriate, but Chellick is still my friend. He’s looking after me. _That’s all._ ”

Castis folded his hands together and returned to staring out the window. “I still don’t understand why you let things get to this point. Why didn’t you just walk away when you found out who Garrus was? Did you think, after everything, that I would be _happy_ when I found out? Did you think I wouldn’t find out eventually? Once Garrus gets a notion in his head there’s no knocking it out of him. If you had just walked away he never would have fallen in love with you. Now there’s nothing I can do about it. If I tell him I don’t want the two of you to be together, he’ll just dig his heels in.”

“I can’t act like I didn’t have a choice,” Shepard said. “At least I could have walked away when he approached me about bounties, but even that was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. This may be hard for you to imagine, considering you make enough money to buy your son a million-credit rifle without batting an eyelid, but some of us have to struggle to survive. _Your_ little initiative to bolster C-sec presence in the wards was costing me bounties. Garrus gave me an opportunity for guaranteed income. I doubt it will make you feel better to know I tried really fucking hard to keep our relationship professional…”

“Clearly not hard enough,” Castis growled.

“ _I tried_ , Castis. I know you won’t want to hear it, but _your son_ is the one who crossed that line first.”

“And did he know who you were then? Would he have done the same if he had?”

Shepard stared at her hands where they lay in her lap and said nothing.

“I thought so.” Castis’ subvocals buzzed. “If it’s all the same, Jane, I would prefer some time alone. All of the information you’ve unloaded on me today is hardly helping my nerves while my son is on the verge of death because of your carelessness. We can discuss this further when we have more news about Garrus.”

She couldn’t begrudge him for how he felt, and quite frankly, she didn’t have the energy to keep talking in circles with him about her relationship with Garrus. So instead of saying anything, she just stood up and walked away, opting to take a seat next to Chellick on the bench across from Alenko and Tali.

Tali had fallen asleep against Alenko’s shoulder, but he was still awake, heavy bags beneath his eyes. He looked up as Shepard sat down, attempting the faintest smile.

“How are you holding up?” he asked.

“I’ve been better.”

Almost as soon as she sat down, Chellick’s arm curled around her shoulder. She should have pushed him away, but she was too emotionally raw, too desperately in need of that small physical comfort his touch provided.

“Tali told me…you and Garrus…” Alenko’s eyes flitted to Chellick’s hand on her shoulder, an almost imperceptible movement.

“Yeah.” Shepard nodded.

“He’s gonna pull through this.” He sounded unsure of himself even as he said it.

She was tired of such reassurances. The image of Garrus’ face, plating torn to shreds, mandible hanging by a thread, burned skin and craters left in his neck, was stuck in her mind, glued to the back of her eyelids whenever she closed them. She was amazed he had even still been breathing when she turned him over. She wanted to believe, _hoped beyond hope_ , that he would be okay, but optimism hadn’t really been her strong suit since Nihlus Kryik tore out her insides five years earlier.

Instead of responding, she rested her head against Chellick’s shoulder and closed her eyes, hoping she could find sleep; praying there might be good news when she awoke.

* * *

 

This gorgeous art was done by [Beth-Adastra!](https://bethadastra-art.tumblr.com/)

**[Playlist link](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been pretty excited to post this reunion chapter since I wrote it so hopefully it wasn't a let down! I just love writing Castis and Shepard's relationship so I'm excited about exploring the recovery of that in the coming chapters. I also love writing Chellick and Shepard's relationship but it's also kind of an exercise in self-loathing because like...poor Chellick, right? I just use him as an emotional punching bag in this fic sometimes HA. Sorry. Thanks so much again for all of the wonderful comments and to everyone who's been reading. I never thought so many people would enjoy this story so I'm just pleased as punch at the moment. More soon!


	19. Out of the Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a note to people who breeze over the date/time stamps at the beginning of each section: the first part of this chapter is a very recent flashback.

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **June 30** th

With Garrus busy working on the case against the drug supplier, the only time Shepard was able to see him was during his breaks, up on the roof where she used to meet Chellick. He would get an hour off, at most, which meant a lot of heated kissing before he inevitably bent her over the side of the couch and fucked the life out of her. It wasn’t exactly ideal, but it was better than not getting laid at all.

He was still inside of her, draped across her back, kissing and nipping at her shoulder. She was covered in sweat, her face red, catching her breath and recovering. It was _incredible_ how good he was. She’d wondered if the first time had been a fluke, or if she’d been wanting it so badly that her standards had lowered, but it hadn’t been the case. He was quickly learning exactly where to touch her, exactly how hard and fast to move to get her screaming his name.

She was absolutely in love with his cock.

“We really need more than an hour together,” she said. His hands were wrapped up under her, squeezing against her breasts. Their novelty had apparently not worn off yet. “We need another day where we don’t leave your apartment.”

“Hm,” he licked up her shoulder blade and planted a kiss on the nape of her neck. His subharmonics hummed. “Come to the station and tell Chellick to stop working me so hard then.”

She really would have preferred if he didn’t mention Chellick while he was still inside of her.

“Are you ever going to get a break? A day off?”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you missed me, Shepard.” He nuzzled against her neck, his mandibles tickling her skin. She felt that uncomfortable swell of emotion in her chest as he did so.

“Well, I definitely missed your cock.” She tried to ignore the fact that it felt like her heart was in a vice.

“If you give me a second, we could probably go one more time before I have to leave.”

In Shepard’s experience, turians didn’t have particularly shorter refractory periods than any human she’d been with, but Garrus certainly seemed to recover a lot faster than she was used to. Maybe it was because, recently, _Chellick_ was what she was used to.

“Don’t rush it.” She liked the feeling of his weight on top of her, his head resting between her shoulder and her neck. Every time he spoke, his chest vibrated against her back and his mandibles flicked lightly against her skin. These little, seemingly innocuous things, were something she looked forward to whenever they had finished.

“I can’t believe I spent so much time thinking humans wouldn’t make good bed mates.” One of his hands let go of her breast and slid to the center of her chest, tracing his talons across her skin.

She laughed. “Hopefully I’ve ruined you for any other humans.”

“ _Definitely_.” He kissed her shoulder. “You know, the first time we slept together, I was _hoping_ you’d have freckles on the rest of your body.”

“Glad I didn’t disappoint.”

“These ones are my favorite.” The hand that was still occupied with her breast let go of it so that he could press his talon lightly against the numerous freckles dotting her shoulder.

“I would have thought the ones on my boobs…”

“Those are fine,” he said. “The ones on your cowl are better.”

“Collarbones.” She corrected.

“The word is the same to my translator.”

She felt his hips shift against her bottom as he pulled out of her.

“Not up for a second round, big guy?”

She was annoyed with how unhappy she felt when he peeled himself off of her and stood up. She remained, kneeling against the side of the couch, an unpleasant warm feeling dripping down her thigh.

Garrus stepped around her and sat down on the couch. “Not done. I just want to be able to look at you.” He tugged on her arm, beckoning her to join him.

It didn’t take a lot of convincing for Shepard to stand up and straddle his lap. His mouth was against her collarbone almost as soon as she sat against him. It was her favorite spot to be kissed, especially when his dexterous tongue slid along the curve of the bone. Her fingers moved down to his sheath almost subconsciously, stroking the soft skin there. The intensifying pressure of his kisses had moved her from her emotional stupor; she was ready to take him again.

A little coaxing was all it took to get him out of his sheath once more and, considering how little time they had together, they wasted none of it. She settled herself slowly on top of him, taking him all the way inside of her and rocking her hips back and forth.

He pressed his forehead against hers and she clutched at his neck. Every time they’d had sex so far, it hadn’t been until the end, in a post-coital high, that she’d felt so emotional. But now, with their bodies pressed together, her lips locked against his mouth, she felt so overwhelmed with emotion that it was almost too much; her heart felt like it could burst from her chest.

Everything about him felt so good, so _right_. How could she have let this happen with Castis’ son? She couldn’t let herself fall for him like this; it was too much of a liability, too much of a weakness.

“ _Shepard…_ ”

As her name left his mouth, the sound harmonizing with his purring subvocals, she couldn’t be bothered to care. If he was her Achilles’ heel, he was worth the risk.

* * *

**2183  
** **Huerta Memorial Hospital  
** **July 26 th**

“Shepard?”

A firm hand was on her shoulder, shaking her lightly awake. She had been dreaming about Garrus, one of their brief meetings on the roof, the feeling of him inside of her…

She opened her eyes and everything that had happened came flooding back. Chellick looked down at her with one hand on her shoulder, her head resting in his lap.

“You were making some noise in your sleep,” he told her.

She could only imagine _what_ noise she must have been making. At any rate, she was grateful Chellick had woken her up; moaning Garrus’ name in her sleep was not likely to put Castis in a better mood.

“Any news?” She asked, forcing herself to sit up. Across from her, Alenko’s head had slumped against Tali’s and both were sleeping quietly.

“Nothing. He’s still in surgery,” Chellick answered.

She rested her elbows on her thighs and buried her face in her hands. “I can’t stop picturing what he looked like. All that blood…”

Chellick’s hand brushed against her back. “It’ll-“

“Please don’t tell me it’ll be okay.” She interrupted him. “Just…don’t.”

He said nothing else, his hand continuing to massage slow circles over her back. The silence went uninterrupted for several minutes until a new wave of C-sec officers arrived, headed by Lawson, apparently returning from the crime scene.

She came to a halt in front of them, her eyes flicking momentarily to Chellick’s hand on Shepard’s back. He quickly pulled his arm to his side.

“Captain, forensics finished at the scene. I’ve filed my report. Any word on Vakarian?” Lawson asked, standing rigid and straight as she spoke.

“Nothing yet, Lawson. We’re all just waiting for news.”

“I could comfort you in the meantime.” Jack sounded from a few seats over. She was draped over two chairs, legs splayed at an awkward angle.

Lawson gave her a withering look. “Someone could die. Do you care about anything but yourself?”

“Fuck you, _princess._ ”

“Jack doesn’t really know Garrus,” Chellick said.

“I know enough to know Shepard’s been boinking him and she’s upset right now. What can I do about it though?” Jack sat up. “I’m here for her. That’s all I can do. Sorry if being flippant is how I deal with being useless.”

Shepard cringed. Half the room had undoubtedly heard everything she said. So much for keeping things quiet.

“I’m sorry, what?” Lawson turned to Shepard. “You’re sleeping with Vakarian?”

“Oh, shit, Shepard. I’m sorry. I thought they knew.” Jack did look genuinely apologetic. “It’s not as bad as it seems.  I mean, it’s not like she’s sleeping with Chellick anymore. I think.”

Lawson’s head looked like it was about spin from her neck. “ _Captain?”_

“Christ, Jack, could you just not say anything else?” Shepard groaned.

“Fuck. I just assumed…I mean Chellick’s such an idiot and he’s never exactly discreet…”

“Thank you, Jack.” Chellick hissed. “Lawson, I’m happy to discuss this at length at some other time in some other place. Preferably not now, in the lobby of a hospital, with half of my station listening in while we wait to find out if Garrus is going to live or die!”

“Go and wait with the others, officer Lawson.”

Shepard had not seen Castis approach, but suddenly he was standing beside them. He looked remarkably _tired._

“Executor Vakarian, I…” Lawson looked from Castis to Chellick. “Yes, sir. I filed my report on the incident. I’d like to discuss it with you and Captain Laratus at some point, sir. The information is sensitive.”

“Understood.” Castis nodded. Once Lawson had excused herself to join the other C-sec officers seated further down in the waiting area, he turned a pointed look toward Chellick. “I hope you know I should have your badge.”

Chellick stared at him. “Sir…”

“Not only your badge. You should be in a cell. Having sex with inmates…” Castis glanced briefly at Shepard before returning his attention to Chellick. “What else have you done that I don’t know about?”

“I don’t believe you’ve spent the last five years looking at Shepard’s arrest history to be naïve about this, Castis,” Chellick growled. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know. Or did you think Shepard was a fucking millionaire? She’d have to be for the number of bails she’s supposedly paid.”

“Chellick, you shouldn’t…” Shepard was concerned about his tone. He may have bent the rules more than once as an officer, but he was good at his job and he didn’t need to lose it because he pissed Castis off.

He ignored her, though. “You want my badge, Castis? Fine.” He wrenched it from the inside of his jacket and held it forward. “Take it.”

Castis stared at the badge. When he made no attempt to remove it, Chellick returned it to his jacket and folded his arms.

“If you want to talk about this in private and yell at me for an hour, fine.” He shrugged. “But I’m not just here for Shepard, you know. Garrus is a good kid; I like having him in my station. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him. So just back the fuck off, Castis. You’re angry about what happened, and you’re angry at Shepard, but it’s not going to make time go any faster and it’s not going to fix the problem.”

Whatever Castis was going to say in reply was interrupted by an approaching salarian nurse. Shepard and Chellick both stood up and Castis whipped around to face her.

“Executor Vakarian,” the nurse looked exhausted, “Your son is out of surgery and we’ve just placed him in a room. There was a lot of damage, especially around his right facial plates. We’ve had to repair some of the tissue with cybernetics and we have some tissue regeneration machines hooked up to him right now. It will be a while before he comes to, but if you want to see him now, you can.” She scanned the crowded lobby. “Right now, we’d prefer if just family come to the room. Once he’s up and we can assess his condition better, some of his friends can come to see him…though we do impose a strict four-person limit on visitors…”

Shepard wilted. She had felt so much relief when the nurse had said Garrus had survived surgery, but it could be hours before he woke up, and there was little hope that Castis would let her see him out of the goodness of his heart. She wasn’t family, though in another life she could have been.

“Take me to him, please.” Castis’ voice trembled, a hint of the keening sound crackling through in his subvocals.

“Certainly. Follow me, sir.”

“Wait.” He turned around. “Jane.”

“I’m not…” She shook her head uncertainly.

“You’re coming with me. It’s not a request.”

She didn’t hesitate, following close behind as the nurse led them away from the lobby. Castis’ mandibles twitched impatiently. Shepard’s heart was pounding in her ears; she had several questions she would have liked to ask the nurse, but she was afraid if she spoke at all, Castis would somehow change his mind and send her back to wait in agony in the reception center.

The nurse led them past a set of double doors with scanners to prevent unrestricted access, down a hallway to an elevator that took them up to the eighth floor. The walk down the hallway, lined with patient rooms, felt longer than anything she had endured until, finally, they reached the door to Garrus’ room and the salarian nurse let them in.

He was lying in bed, his eyes closed, several small tissue-regeneration machines attached to his face and neck. A circular pad that must have contained cybernetic stabilizers of some sort was connected to his mandible at the junction where it met his face. What plating hadn’t been repaired by cybernetics was riddled with an extensive network of chips and holes; the flexible cartilage of his lips was scarred as well, ending abruptly near the center of his mouth with one long, jagged scar that left part of his lip missing.

Shepard held her hand against her mouth and stared at him. This was her fault. He would never be the same because of it.

All turian talk about the strength and fortitude displayed by scars was clearly lost on Castis at the moment. Knowing other turians would view the impressive scars with awe and admiration was likely a small consolation for seeing his son torn apart like that.

“I’ll give you some time alone with him,” the nurse said. “There’s a call button near the bed if you need anything.” She stepped out of the room and Castis moved immediately to Garrus’ side.

“Spirits…” He pressed his palm against Garrus’ forehead.

There was no apology Shepard could give to make up for this.

“Was it worth it?” He looked up at her. “Was going after Nihlus worth this? Look at him!”

The problem was that she couldn’t _stop_ looking at him. She was on the verge of tears, but she had cried _so much_ lately, far too much for someone who used to pretend she was invincible. Her emotions had been getting the better of her time and time again.

“I really already feel bad enough, Castis. You don’t have to make me feel worse.”

“You _should_ feel terrible.” He stared at Garrus with sad eyes. “He could have died. You have no clue what it’s like to be a parent, Jane. I’ve spent the past twenty-six years trying to instill all of the right values and morals into him…trying to make sure he grew into someone I could be proud of. And I _was_ proud, even if we butted heads sometimes. He joined C-sec, he got a good job down in the wards making a difference somewhere. If he’d never met you…” His mandibles pinched against his face. “I love him so much, Jane. Why did you have to get involved with him?”

“Did you let me see him just so you could get angry at me?” Shepard bristled.

“No, it’s just a side effect of having you around again,” he replied bitingly. “Garrus and Solana are all that I have now. I worry that his life is at risk just from being around you. I don’t believe you won’t try to find Nihlus again, despite what your impulsivity has wrought here.”

“I probably will,” she admitted. “But Garrus chose to come with me. He knew the risks. You can’t hold me accountable for _his_ decisions, Castis. Just admit your son isn’t the perfect fucking angel you hoped he would be. He still only ever does things out of some sense of justice. What difference does it make if he follows protocol or not? In the end, he just wants to make the galaxy a better place. If it hadn’t been me, he would have found some other bounty hunter to work with, or he would have done it himself. Complain about all of my shitty attributes all you want, but don’t saddle me with what you perceive as Garrus’ mistakes.”

He said nothing for several seconds, his fingers moving slowly over the uninjured side of Garrus’ face.

“Let’s just agree to attempt some civility…for his sake.”

“I’m ready to go to a fucking family therapist if it will help, Castis. You’re the one who’s holding on to your anger here. I told you I didn’t mean what I said after the trial. I was angry and I was scared. I don’t expect you to get over it instantaneously, but I’m here telling you I’m sorry and I’m willing to try to start over. You just have to be willing too.”

He closed his eyes and nodded, then he stepped away from Garrus. “I need to call Solana and tell her what happened. I’ll step out and give you a minute with him.”

As soon as he left the room, Shepard was at Garrus’ side, touching her hands delicately to his face. His brow ridge shifted as he slept, his mandibles twitching; a horrible whimper escaped his throat from the pain his injured mandible had caused him. His eyelids fluttered and for a moment, she saw his eyes, clouded with pain, then they were closed again.

“Garrus…” She sighed. “I’m so sorry.”

She grabbed his hand and held onto it tightly. He had made it through the worst, but it still hurt to see him like that and recovery could be a long process.

Castis returned to the room and stared at her hand wrapped around Garrus’.

“Solana is on her way,” he said simply. “You should let him rest. I’ll stay here.”

“I’m not leaving this room.” Shepard took a seat in the chair next to Garrus’ bed. “You can drag me down to the lobby yourself if you want me to leave.”

He said nothing in response, simply took a seat on a couch facing the end of the bed, training his eyes on Garrus.

Shepard couldn’t help but think that this absolutely had to be the worst possible way for her to reunite with Castis. The only way it could be any worse would be if Garrus _had_ died. God only knew what Solana would think of her when she arrived; all she knew about her had come from Castis, and as Garrus had told her, Solana thought they had been having an affair; hardly a good start.

The minutes passed at an agonizing rate. Castis stared at Garrus, and Shepard stared at her feet, her hand still clutching Garrus’, her arm crooked at an awkward angle to allow the touch.

“Why do you love him?” Castis asked after some time had passed.

She looked up. “Excuse me?”

“Why are you in love with my son?”

It felt like far too weighted of a question to answer in the state she was in. “I just do.”

Castis snorted. “That’s an inspiring answer.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

“Give me a fucking break, Castis. I’ve been through a lot today, okay?” She refused to let herself cry again. “Just back the fuck off.”

His mandibles twitched. Silence reigned again.

She had no clue how much time passed before the door flew open and a lithe, toned female turian with the same clan markings as Garrus swept into the room. She was stunning, beautiful in every sense of the word, decked out in a dress that billowed behind her as she moved. Her bright blue eyes shot to Garrus immediately and she inhaled sharply.

“ _Spirits_. Look at him!” She rushed to his side, mandibles twitching at the sight of him.

There was a profound sadness in her eyes as she looked at him, scanning every inch of his face, taking in the extent of his injuries. All at once, she seemed to notice Shepard seated next to him. She blinked at her and then turned to her father.

“Who is this?”

Shepard wondered how he would introduce her; there were several avenues he could take.

“That’s a complicated question,” Castis replied.

Solana faced Shepard again. “Maybe you could tell me?” She cocked her head.

“I’m uh…kind of dating Garrus…”

“Kind of dating Garrus?” Castis rolled his eyes. “She’s also an old acquaintance, Solana. You remember my case against Nihlus. This is the Lone Survivor. Her name is Jane. Jane Shepard.”

Solana looked back and forth between Castis and Shepard several times and then let out a burst of laughter that startled both of them. It devolved into a fit of giggles that left her so winded she had to clutch the side of Garrus’ bed. Shepard had no clue what to make of it.

When she finally stopped laughing, Solana righted herself and shook her head. “Garrus is _dating_ the Lone Survivor? Wow, and I thought you were pissed about Palarah, Dad. Holy shit. How long has this been going on?” She laughed again. “What a small station this is.”

Castis mandibles pinched against his cheeks. “I’m glad you find it amusing, Solana. Your brother could have died.”

“Well he didn’t.” She snapped. “You don’t think it’s a _little_ funny that not only is Garrus dating a human, but it’s the one human on the entire Citadel you hate the most? It’s kind of funny, dad. Right…uh…Jane, did you say it was?” She turned to Shepard again.

It would have been funny if Shepard wasn’t so exhausted, so worried about Garrus and so angry at Castis. She managed a weak smile. “It’s a little funny.”

“Man, we have a lot to talk about, don’t we?” Solana stood at Garrus’ side and pressed her hand against his forehead, just as her father had. “You said he took a rocket to the face? What an idiot. What was he doing?”

Castis opened his mouth to answer, but Shepard cut him off. “He was protecting me.”

Solana’s eyes met hers and she could see the resemblance to Garrus in them. The youngest Vakarian seemed to be sizing her up. “So it’s serious then.” She returned her gaze to her brother. “Definitely an idiot. Love makes you do stupid, _stupid_ things. You’re one lucky human, I hope you know. My brother’s tough, he’ll get through this. If it had been you, you’d be dead.”

“I’m well aware.”

“What did the doctors say, dad?”

“Not much. They said it could be a few hours until he regains consciousness. The worst is over, though I have no clue how long the recovery will take. I suppose it depends on how efficient the tissue regeneration machines are and how his plating takes to the cybernetics.” Castis pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I’m very tired, Solana. It’s been a long day.”

She looked from her father to Shepard, then crossed the room to pat Castis’ shoulder. “You should leave now.” She said to Shepard, an edge to her voice.

“Like I told your dad, I’m not leaving him,” Shepard growled. “No matter how rude you get or how much you try to make me feel like I don’t belong here. I’ve spent enough time around turians _and_ Vakarians to know how to deal with you.”

Solana laughed and turned back to her father. “I like her. She’s feisty.”

A barely audible groan issued from Castis’ subharmonics.

Though she wouldn’t admit it out loud, Shepard liked Solana at first glance as well. She shouldn’t have expected anything less from a Vakarian, and turians were always much more confrontational and straightforward than humans could be.

“Why don’t you rest for a bit, dad? Jane and I can go down to the lobby and get some food. Have you eaten, Jane? My girlfriend Palarah is downstairs with all those C-sec officers in the waiting area. We could go grab something to eat and get to know each other. I’m at a bit of a disadvantage, considering you know my brother and my dad pretty well from what I understand. There’s no reason to sit up here waiting for Garrus to wake up when we can’t do anything.” Solana folded her arms and fixed Shepard with a commanding stare.

Leaving Garrus was the last thing Shepard wanted to do now that she had seen what awful shape he was in, but it _had_ been hours and hours since she’d had anything to eat, and Castis probably did deserve some time alone with his son. She had to remember she wasn’t the only one who’d been through a lot that day.

She hesitated for a moment, then decided Solana was right; waiting around staring at Garrus and worrying over every little sound he made was no way to deal with her concern for him. The biggest deterrent in leaving was the very real concern that once she left, Castis wouldn’t let her come back; there was no reason to think that though, considering he had let her out of a C-sec jail cell, which was more than she ever thought he would do.

“Okay.” Shepard nodded. “I could use something to eat.”

“Good. Dad, call me as soon as he wakes up, okay?”

Castis looked visibly relieved. “Fine, yes.”

“I’ll tell Palarah you say hello,” Solana’s mandibles twitched into a smile.

“You and your brother are intent on seeing me in an early grave, I swear to the Spirits…”

“Come on, Jane. Let’s go.”

Shepard got the distinct impression that Solana was as stubborn as her brother.

She led them back to the elevator and down to the lobby, eyeing Shepard wordlessly the entire time. As the elevator made its slow descent to the first floor, Shepard folded her arms.

“Do you want to see the scar?” She sighed.

Solana’s mandibles twitched. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, every turian who knows about it wants to see it. Women aren’t an exception.” Without waiting for a response, Shepard lifted her shirt to allow a view of the scar spanning across her torso.

As with nearly every turian she’d ever met, Solana’s eyes went wild looking up and down the scar. “Shit,” she breathed. “I take back what I said. I think you might have been able to survive a rocket to the face.”

Shepard dropped her shirt. “Nihlus is the one who launched the rocket.”

“All the more reason to find the bastard and kill him, right?” Solana shrugged. “You’re obviously blaming yourself for what happened to Garrus. Don’t argue, I’m good at reading people and you’re clearly too tired to be as guarded as I’m guessing you normally are.” The doors to the elevator opened and they stepped out into the lobby. “Well, stop blaming yourself. Unless you pushed Garrus in front of the rocket, then it was his own damn fault. He wouldn’t have done something so selfless if he didn’t care about you. And he’s fine now. A little scuffed up, sure, and he’ll probably be in pain for a while, but he’ll survive. Turians are tough and Garrus is as tough as they come.”

It was hard for Shepard to think of Garrus as tough, despite his capabilities and despite what he had survived; it was hard to forget how gentle his hands could be when he was holding her, or how softly and affectionately he would nuzzle against her in a post-coital afterglow, how soothingly he spoke when it was just the two of them. It seemed impossible that the Garrus she knew so intimately behind closed doors could survive such trauma. She wondered if he thought the same thing about her and her ghastly scar.

Solana stopped a few feet from the waiting area, which had cleared somewhat, though Shepard’s crew was still hanging around.

“I know my dad hates you, and I can’t even pretend to understand what your relationship was with him, but I’m eager to know how my brother wound up dating _the_ Lone Survivor.”

“You don’t hate me?” Shepard laughed.

“I’d have to know you to hate you.” Solana shrugged. “My dad said a lot of crap after you two…split up? I don’t know what you would call it. I was never sure what to make of any it because he was obviously upset by whatever happened. But five years ago I was eighteen and a lot more naïve than I am now. Garrus wouldn’t trust you without good reason.”

“Look, I just want to make it clear. Your dad and I…it wasn’t…uh…” Shepard felt her face growing warm. The idea of _anyone_ thinking her relationship with Castis was sexual in nature was both embarrassing and nauseating.

With a laugh, Solana eased any discomfort Shepard was feeling. “I get the picture. That’s a relief at least. Looks like you’ve got company.” She nodded beyond Shepard’s shoulder.

A quick glance found Chellick approaching from the waiting area.

He placed a hand on Shepard’s arm. “Shepard, how’s Garrus?”

“He’s okay. He looks…really rough, but he’s going to be okay.”

Chellick slumped with visible relief. He seemed suddenly to notice Solana. “Garrus’ sister?”

“And you are?” Solana cocked her head.

“Chellick Laratus.” He offered a hand to shake hers. “Garrus’ boss.”

“Ah, Chellick. I’ve heard about you. You worked the case against Nihlus with my dad. So you know Shepard too, huh?”

Shepard thought it might be better to just tell Solana about the nature of her relationship with Chellick, because either Castis or Garrus was going to tell her eventually, but she didn’t have time to tell her because Chellick just blurted it out himself.

“You might as well know we’ve fucked each other.” Tactless as usual. “Castis would have told you if I didn’t.”

Solana opened and closed her mouth a few times, eyes darting back and forth between Shepard and Chellick. “Well…ok. Are you still fucking each other?”

“No.” They said in unison.

She shrugged. “Then I don’t see why I should care.” She fixed Shepard with a stern, almost frightening look. “If you _did_ cheat on my brother, then we would have a problem. But I’m not C-sec, I don’t care about whatever rules you’re breaking. I bet my dad had a fucking aneurysm about it though. Come on.”

She swept past them across the lobby to where a small purple asari sat across from Wrex and Zaeed, engaged in a heated conversation with them. She was square-shouldered, bulky for an asari, with a pinched nose and fiery eyes. Solana stood next to her, brushing her fingers against her shoulder.

“Making friends, Pala?”

The asari looked up with a smile. “I was just having an argument with these _idiots_ about armor models. The krogan thinks steel-plated is most effective. _Clearly_ he’s never worked with eezo-infused mesh suits.”

“Some of us don’t need eezo infused suits to work our biotics,” Wrex retaliated.

The asari let out a loud laugh and stood up. “Spoken like a true krogan. I should know. My dad was one.”

Wrex snorted. “I knew there was _something_ I liked about you.” Zaeed rolled his eyes at that.

“Sorry, but she’s spoken for.” Solana draped an arm across the asari’s shoulder. “Palarah, we were going to grab some food. Do you want to come with?”

“Sure. How’s your brother?”

“Looking rough, but he’ll survive. This is his girlfriend, Jane.” Solana gestured to Shepard.

“Uh…Shepard is fine.” She shook Palarah’s hand.

“Hard to imagine Shepard as anyone’s _girlfriend_ ,” Zaeed snorted. “I suppose you’re pretty sour you’re not sticking it to her anymore, huh, birdy?” He nodded at Chellick.

A low buzz issued from Chellick’s subharmonics. “Shepard, have I ever told you how much I fucking hate your friends?”

“Well, I’m not too goddamn fond of you either!” Zaeed hissed.

 “Enough,” Shepard barked. “Are you coming with us, Chellick? I haven’t eaten in hours, which means you haven’t either. Garrus is resting and he’s going to be okay. We should get some food because I’m just assuming I won’t be able to talk you into going home and getting some sleep.”

Chellick shrugged his shoulders. “Food sounds better than sitting around the lobby with these morons.”

“Great. We can talk about how dysfunctional this entire situation is.” Solana laughed.

If Shepard hadn’t been so tired, and so relieved that Garrus was alive, she would have found the entire fucking situation both miserable and hilarious. For the time being though, all she could do was follow Solana and her girlfriend down the hall to the cafeteria, Chellick trailing at her side like a lost puppy.

* * *

Pain was the most immediate and urgent feeling Garrus was aware of as his eyes fluttered open. It felt like someone had taken a jackhammer to the right side of his body; his mandible ached from the tip all the way to where it met his cheek and his neck and shoulder throbbed beneath the weight of regeneration machinery. The pain extended all across the side of his face, laced with the unfamiliar and uncomfortable foreignness of something else.

“ _Garrus_.”

His father’s voice at his side directed his attention away from the pain, if only for a moment. His vision was slightly blurred, but he could see his father standing above him beside his bed. He was in a hospital room, suddenly aware of the sounds of machines monitoring his heart rate and administering medication through an IV line attached at his arm.

It took him a moment to remember what had happened, _why_ he was in so much pain, lying confused in the hospital. When he recalled the rocket headed directly for Shepard, the blind instinct to push her out of the way of its blast, he felt his heart seize.

“Where’s Shepard?” He asked immediately, his fuzzy brain not processing that his father should not have known about his relationship with Shepard, should not have known he even _knew_ Shepard.

His response was an unpleasant trill from his subharmonics. “You’re disoriented. Give yourself a minute to wake up.”

Garrus didn’t care about his pain anymore. Where was Shepard? Had she survived the blast? Had his effort been in vain? He struggled to push himself into a seated position, but found the effort too immense. His father placed a gentle hand on his chest and pushed him back down into the bed.

“Calm down, son.”

“Where is Shepard, dad?”

“Garrus.” His father’s voice was stern.

“Is she alive or not?” Garrus croaked. “Just tell me! Just tell me!”

“What?” He cocked his head. “Of course she’s alive. Only because of you.”

At least somewhat placated by the news, Garrus tried to calm himself down, though the pain wasn’t helping. The fact that his father hadn’t responded to his question with surprise suggested that he already knew about their relationship; the fact that he knew Shepard’s status guaranteed it.

“How are you feeling, Garrus?”

“Everything hurts.” _I want to see Shepard_.

He should have been happy to see his father there waiting for him to wake up, worried about his health, but all he could think about was Shepard. Was she worried about him? She must have been devastated about losing the chance for revenge against Nihlus. Maybe she was already out hunting him again. Maybe he cared far more for Shepard than she did for him.

There were too many thoughts swirling around in his mind. It made his head ache.

“I’ll call the nurse to give you some more pain medicine.” His father pressed the call button beside the bed and then took a seat in a chair next to him.

Garrus closed his eyes and sighed. “You must know. About Shepard.”

“Yes.” Nothing in his tone, in his subvocals, betrayed whatever he was thinking.

“I love her, dad.”

“Few people are willing to jump in front of a rocket for someone they don’t love, Garrus. We can discuss this later, after you’ve rested. I don’t want to exacerbate your pain getting into an argument. I’m extremely disappointed in you, but it’s a conversation for another time.”

It always hurt whenever his father expressed disappointment. Sometimes Garrus would have preferred being yelled at, but whenever he’d broken rules, even as a child, his father had simply fixed him with that stern look of his and said ‘Garrus, I expected better of you’, ‘Garrus, this is disappointing behavior’, ‘I’m not angry, I’m disappointed’.

A salarian nurse appeared in the room a moment later.

“Oh! Mr. Vakarian, you’re awake! Try not to move too much, let’s have a look at you.” She drew close and shined a light into his eyes. “How are you feeling? How’s your pain?”

“I’ve been better,” Garrus growled.

She spoke into a comm link at her arm. “Mr. Vakarian is awake. I’m upping his Orphus.”

There was no response from the other end of the link. The nurse set to work adjusting the medication trickling into his IV fluids, then examined him again.

“Your bandages will need changing in another hour. The Orphus may put you to sleep again, or it may not. Until then, just try to avoid moving too much. The doctors had to implant some cybernetics to rebuild your destroyed plating, so there’s a stabilizer attached right now until those take to the grafts. It should keep your mandible stabilized as well, to prevent overflexing. Do you have any questions? Is there anything I can get you?”

Garrus shook his head and said nothing in response. The cybernetics and grafting explained the foreign feeling he’d been experiencing.

The nurse took her leave and Garrus found himself alone with his father again.

“Let’s just talk about it now. Say what you have to say, dad.”

His father stared at him, subharmonics buzzing the way they always did when he was upset; nothing else in his face betrayed his emotion.

“How long have you known about Shepard’s past, Garrus?” He finally asked.

“Not long. A few weeks, maybe.”

His father scoffed. “A few weeks of knowing who she really is and you’re _in love_? I have a hard time believing this is anything more than curiosity and infatuation.”

“I’ve known her for months, dad. It’s not just about the last few weeks. It’s about what we’ve been through together. I trust her. A few weeks ago, she saved my life, so…”

“Undoubtedly from some trouble she put you in the first place.” His father interrupted. “You should have told me once you found out who she was.” He clenched his fists. “Why keep things up once you found out? Are you so enraptured by what she’s got between her legs that you can’t think straight, Garrus?” There was a cruel edge to his voice, and the words made Garrus angry.

“Are you kidding me?” Garrus’ mandibles flared involuntarily, sending a shooting pain up the right side of his face. He winced and clutched some of the bedsheets up in a tight grip. “This isn’t about that, dad. I know you think I don’t know the first thing about it, but I know how I feel. I’m in love with her. I was angry when I found out who she was, sure, but only because she’d kept it from me. I don’t know what happened between you two, but I also don’t believe Shepard’s a bad person. You can talk about it all you want, you won’t change how I feel about her.”

“Fine.” His father shrugged. “You don’t want to talk about Shepard? Why don’t we talk about how you directly disobeyed my orders to join my ground squad for the assault on Nihlus, _stole_ a police cruiser, have been illegally rounding up criminals with a bounty hunter, _sleeping_ with a criminal who’s been incarcerated in your station multiple times. The list goes on and on, Garrus. Where do I stop? I should fire you. Worse yet, you should face trial for some of the things you’ve done.”

“Yeah? Go ahead. Did you fire Chellick too?” Garrus couldn’t help but think that he really didn’t want to have this conversation when he was dealing with as much pain as he was, but he _had_ instigated it.

His father stared ahead wordlessly. For a moment, neither of them spoke.

“Chellick’s behavior with Shepard is inexcusable. You should be concerned.” His father finally said after several minutes of stony silence.

“I’m not. I know how Chellick feels. I also trust Shepard.”

“You’re off this case, Garrus. That’s it. I can’t trust you to keep information to yourself if you’re with her and we can’t afford another mistake like the one she just pulled. You could have died! _She_ would have died if you hadn’t jumped in front of her. And now we have no clue where Nihlus is and he knows that we’re after him.”

“I didn’t tell Shepard anything!” Garrus yelled. “She figured it out on her own. I just went with her because I think she deserves this revenge. Don’t you? You saw yourself what Nihlus did to her. You saw what it made her into. Fine. Take me off the case, dad. What the hell do I care? Put me on paperwork. I’ll leave the minute Shepard asks me to.”

“Such blind devotion to a woman you’ve only know a few months?” His father stood up. “What is wrong with you? Is it worth losing your job? Alienating your family?”

“You’re the one driving the wedge, dad! Whatever happened between you and Shepard, maybe it’s time to bury the hatchet. You aren’t going to change my mind about this!”

His father was about to reply when familiar voices sounded outside the doorway. Garrus could hear Shepard saying something to Solana, then Solana _laughed_.

Leave it to Shepard, the ostensibly stone-cold bitch, to win Solana over. At least someone in his family was taking to her.

They walked into the room and both of them froze when they saw Garrus awake. Solana was at his side instantly, but Shepard’s approach was blocked by his father’s position on the other side of the bed. Even from a distance, his vision blurred somewhat by his pain, he could see the tears welling in Shepard’s eyes.

“I can’t believe you threw yourself in front of a rocket, you idiot. You could have died! I mean, Jane seems okay, but a _rocket_?” Solana said. “You’re really just an enormous…”

Garrus only had eyes for Shepard, barely processing what his sister was saying. She seemed to noticed, because she took a step back from the bed and beckoned for Shepard to approach.

Shepard glanced hesitantly at their father, then rushed forward, bringing her hand to the uninjured side of Garrus’ face and pressing her forehead against his. He grabbed her neck, his subharmonics humming at a low frequency he was sure she wouldn’t even be able to hear. She stroked the top of his head, blinking back tears.

“Garrus…” She gasped. “I was so worried. You could have died. You could have…”

“I didn’t.” He clutched some of her hair in his hands. “I’m okay now. It’s okay.”

“Oh God, Garrus…”

For a moment, the two of them completely forgot about his family standing in the room, too wrapped up in one another. Shepard kissed his forehead delicately and rubbed her face against the uninjured side of his.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.”

He had never heard her voice so sweet and so tender. It was then, without her even saying the words, that he knew she must feel the same way that he did.

The moment was interrupted when Garrus’ father cleared his throat. Shepard peeled herself away from him, letting her hand fall against his, their fingers curling around each other.

“What happens now?” His father asked. “What exactly is the plan?”

“I don’t know,” Shepard admitted. “I can’t give you any guarantees, Castis. Right now, my biggest concern is Garrus, so that’s what I’m focusing on. Why don’t we just start with his recovery?”

Garrus watched the two of them, the tension in the room palpable. He was so intensely curious to know what had happened between them, what had occurred to completely ruin whatever relationship they’d had before. It was strange to even see them in the same room talking to one another. He wondered, briefly, how different things would have been if their relationship had never gone sour. Shepard would have been in his life far sooner; would he have fallen for her then as he had now?

His father sighed and nodded, some of the anger in his eyes ebbing.

“You’re right. Garrus’ recovery is all that matters right now. We’ll start there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed all the comments on the last chapter re: the Castis/Shep reunion. I tried to expand upon that a bit in this chapter because I think it's more realistic that even if Shepard didn't mean what she said, there's a healing process that has to occur. It's not as simple as Castis continuing to hate her, which is why he let her out of the cell and why he took her up to the hospital room, but it's also not as simple as him forgiving her right away for what she's become. So I tried to convey that. Anyway, thanks as always for reading and for all the lovely comments and I'll have more posted in a week!
> 
> I chose another Fiona Apple song for the playlist this week because I think it really suits the Castis/Shep relationship, so I'm just including a little snippet of the lines that really struck me:
> 
> "But it's dangerous work  
> Trying to get to you, too  
> And I think if I didn't have to kill  
> Kill, kill, kill, kill myself doing it  
> Maybe I wouldn't think so much of you"
> 
> "But there's solace a bit in submitting  
> To the fitfully, cryptically true  
> What's happened, has happened  
> What's coming is already on its way  
> With a role for me to play
> 
> And I don't understand  
> I never understand  
> But I'll try to understand  
> There's nothing else I can do"


	20. A Month Abed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains sexual content

**2183**  
Bachjret Ward – District 42  
July 31st  
  


The wound stretching from just below Garrus’ eye to the top of his chest required constant care to prevent an infection from setting in, with mindfulness to the cybernetic stabilizers covering part of his cheek and mandible. Shepard had taken it upon herself to care for Garrus once he was discharged from the hospital, figuring her small, nimble fingers were better suited to cleaning the wound than Garrus’ much larger digits.

Staying with Garrus to care for him had been an entire argument with Castis, as everything she did now seemed to be. Castis had offered to stay with his son, watch after him and mind his wounds, mostly, Shepard was sure, out of a real and genuine concern for Garrus’ well-being, but almost definitely partially out of a desire to keep Shepard away from him. She had dealt with Castis, though, and there was no force in the galaxy that could have kept her away from Garrus. They’d had a loud argument once Garrus had been wheeled from his hospital room that had culminated in a nurse asking them to leave before they were forcibly removed.

Shepard had gone home with Garrus that evening.

That had been two days earlier, and since then Garrus had mostly slept. The doctors had him on a cocktail of pain medications and pills meant to help his body take to the cybernetics and grafting; the injuries had also left him weak, and the doctors had been insistent that frequent rest was the best way to recover quickly. In the meantime, he was on paid leave until he recovered.

Shepard had not mentioned how she felt about Garrus since she brought him home, and if Garrus felt the same way, he hadn’t said anything either. She’d spent most of the last two days on his couch watching vids while he slept with his head in her lap, interrupted only to eat or to change his dressings. Castis had been by twice, overstaying his welcome and reiterating that he could stay if Shepard wasn’t up to the task, but she had managed to push him out both times.

As Shepard lay with her feet propped up on Garrus’ coffee table, his head resting against her legs, his eyelids heavy, but open, a buzzer sounded from her omni-tool. Garrus sighed.

“Time to change the bandages again.” Shepard patted his back.

He sat up slowly, peeling himself off of her and leaning against the back of the couch. She gathered the antiseptic kit from the dining table and brought it over to the couch before stepping between Garrus’ legs and slowly peeling the bandaging from his neck and shoulder and chest.

The skin was purple and raw, the red of his muscles mingling with the blue blood still slowly seeping to the surface of his burned, but healing skin; it looked horrendous. Garrus winced as she pulled the bandaging away and began gently dabbing antiseptic on the wounds with a cotton ball.

“I’m sorry it hurts,” she said softly.

He shook his head. “It was worth it.”

She took her time cleaning the wounds, careful to cover every inch of the healing flesh and plating, placing new bandages on top of the injury as delicately as she could. When she finished, she kissed his forehead lightly and returned the antiseptic kit to the table, then took a seat next to him on the couch.

“How are you feeling?”

“Drugged. In pain.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “I’ll heal eventually. I’m just glad you’re okay. If something had happened to you…” He brushed his hand against her leg and turned his gaze to meet hers. “I’d step in front of that rocket again, Shepard.”

She stared at him, at those bright blue eyes of his, looking at her with so much affection it made her heart feel like it could burst. No one had ever looked at her like that; maybe Chellick, but she’d never felt the same emotions mirrored back inside of her when Chellick looked at her. She didn’t even know there was room for so much love inside of her, but when Garrus looked at her, it was almost tangible. He had risked his life to save hers; what could ever mean more?

“I love you, Garrus,” she said. It was the first time she’d said it out loud to him, and her heart seized up as she waited for his response.

He continued to stare at her with an inscrutable expression, hand still resting against her leg, but he said nothing. After nearly a minute of silence, she furrowed her eyebrows in mild annoyance.

“Are you going to say anything?” She growled. “I’ve never said that to a boyfriend in my life. I’ve never felt this much emotion, Garrus. I’m going out on a limb here and…”

“Shepard.” He interrupted. 

“What?”

He leaned forward and pulled her against his chest, holding her head near his keel bone where she could hear his heart pumping even beneath his thick plating. But mingling with the sound of his heart was something else: a low, vibrating hum that she could barely hear, nearly drowned out by the sound of his heartbeat and his breathing. The hum ebbed and swelled in intensity over and over.

She didn’t have to ask him what it meant.

“There’s so many things I can’t say to you because you won’t hear them.” Garrus said. “Can you hear me humming?”

She looked up at him, annoyed by the tears blurring her vision. “Yes.”

He wiped away some of her tears with his thumb. “I love you, Jane.”

Sniffling, she kissed the uninjured side of his face and rested her head against his shoulder. “God, how did this happen?”

He laughed. “Surprised the hell out of me. A few months ago I would have thought you’d be more likely to kill me than fall in love with me.”

“Me too, honestly.”

She shifted off of him and leaned back against the arm of the couch, allowing him to spread out between her legs and rest his head on her stomach. His hand slipped beneath her shirt to brush against the knotted line of her scar.

“Now we both have scars,” he said.

‘Both from Nihlus,’ she thought bitterly.

“Yeah, but yours will look rugged. You’ll go out to bars and women will just think you’re even more attractive than before. Especially turians.” She laughed. “They’ll be so impressed by it.”

“And jealous of the beautiful human on my arm,” He nuzzled the uninjured side of his face against her stomach.

She rolled her eyes. “You’re so cheesy.”

He said nothing in response, though she heard his chest vibrate with the smallest laugh. For a while they sat in silence, her fingers moving up and down the length of his fringe idly while he traced his hand against her thigh. She was so  _ content _ with him, in a way she hadn’t ever been. If only Nihlus was dead, if only she could spend the rest of her life lying on that couch with him without any other worries. Once she got her revenge, she hoped they could stay together and she could figure out how to live a life without the shadow of her past looming over her.

“Shepard?” Garrus asked after some time.

“Hm?”

“What happened with you and my dad? Why does he hate you so much?”

She sighed. The last thing she wanted to talk about was Castis, but it was understandable that Garrus was curious, and he deserved to know. She took a deep breath and began to explain.

“Your dad was my only friend after Nihlus attacked me. He visited me almost every day, helped me through my recovery. He was really…he was like a father to me; that kind of closeness scared me. After the trial, I was angry with how long the Council had taken to make a decision, angry about the hand I’d been dealt. I had nothing, no job, no money, no place to live…your father offered to take me in. It scared me so much to think about having someone who cared about me…someone who could be collateral if I ever found Nihlus again or if he ever came looking for me. So I yelled at him, told him to leave me alone, get out of my life…told him I never cared about him and that he’d never meant anything to me.” Her voice caught in her throat at the memory. “God, it was the stupidest fucking thing I ever did, but I was so scared. So I hurt him and I hurt myself to keep from getting too close. And in the end it didn’t mean shit because here I am in love with you.”

Garrus’ subvocals hit a pitch she wasn’t familiar with. “So just tell my dad you’re sorry! You didn’t mean any of it so why should you go on hating each other now?”

“I did tell him, Garrus, but he’s spent almost five years thinking I hated him, that I didn’t care about any of the time or effort he put into my recovery. And in the meantime I became a bounty hunter and broke a thousand laws and fucked one of his officers, fell in love with his son. That’s a lot of reasons to keep hating me.”

“It’s stupid. He needs to get over it.”

“You’re a little biased. You weren’t there when it happened.” She stroked his mandible. “I was so cruel to him…”

A knock on the door interrupted the conversation, for which Shepard was thankful. Dwelling on the conversation she’d had with Castis after the trial, the hateful way she’d behaved, it hurt too much to think about.

Garrus groaned. “I don’t want you to get up.”

“Who is it?” Shepard barked.

“Just me.” Chellick’s voice sounded on the other side of the door.

“It’s unlocked!”

A moment later the door opened and Chellick stepped in with an armful of paper bags, pausing for a moment just beyond the threshold and staring at Garrus sprawled across the couch between Shepard’s legs. He blinked and turned his attention to Shepard.

“I got some groceries. Dextro and levo. I figured Garrus wouldn’t have much levo food sitting around…” He wandered over to the dining table and set the bags down.

“That was nice of you, Chellick, you didn’t have to…” Shepard started.

“How are you doing, Garrus?” He interrupted her, winding around the couch to face them.

Begrudgingly, and with a lot of groaning, Garrus pulled himself into a seated position. “I’ll live.”

“You shouldn’t leave the door unlocked. Nihlus is probably laying low right now, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t got thugs sniffing around looking for you, Shepard. You need to be careful.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Any news, or…?” She left the sentence hanging.

“You know I can’t tell you even if there was. I’m lucky I even have a job right now, let alone that I’m still on this case. Besides, I don’t want you pulling this dumb shit again.” Chellick gestured to Garrus’ injury. “When we find Nihlus and lock him up, I’ll be happy to slip you the key to his cell and let you do whatever the fuck you want to him. For now, I need you to stay out of it.”

Shepard bristled, but said nothing. She knew she should focus on Garrus and not involve herself in the investigation, considering how poorly things had gone in the warehouse, but she was too driven by her revenge. She had no right to be annoyed with Chellick for keeping her out of the loop, but she still was.

She rose to her feet and rummaged through the groceries he had brought, pulling out the items that needed to be refrigerated and putting them away while Chellick spoke to Garrus.

“You’ve been removed from the case.”

“I know.” Garrus stared at his feet.

“When you get back, you’ll be on desk duty for at least a month. Castis is  _ pissed _ . It’s been a nightmare these last two days. It’s like starting over at square one…” Chellick rubbed his forehead.

“I could ask Liara if she could help…” Shepard volunteered.

“Dammit, Shepard, I swear to the Spirits. Do I have to throttle you to get it through your fucking skull?” Chellick burst. “Stay out of it! No involvement. None of your friends, no help from Liara, just fucking forget about it!” He clenched his fists.

“Jesus, Chellick, I was just offering some assistance.” Shepard hissed. “I know you don’t want me involved, I get it, okay? Point  _ fucking  _ made. Liara has a lot of valuable resources. You shouldn’t turn your nose up at them just because she knows me.”

“Yeah, and who’s she going to report any intel she finds back to?” Chellick demanded. “By the way, I know you were slipping intel to Aria T’Loak. Your little private channels aren’t as private as you think. I managed to pull all of Nyreen Kandros’ logs from the last month. I told you not fuck around with them, Shepard.”

“Tell me whatever the fuck you want, it’s not going to stop me from doing what I need to do. Aria and Nyreen wanted to help me get to Nihlus and…”

“Oh, and please tell me how well that went.” He gestured once again to Garrus’ injuries.

“Would you two  _ stop it _ ?” Garrus growled. Both of them turned to stare at him. “Enough already, okay?  _ Spirits _ . Chellick, Shepard has every right to want to continue to pursue this after what happened to her.” Chellick opened his mouth to protest, but Garrus cut him off. “Shepard, it hasn’t even been a week! Take a damn breath, give me some time to recover! Let Chellick do his job. There’ll be time for revenge eventually!”

Shepard wrung her hands. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I’ll lay off…for now. Thanks for bringing the food, Chellick.”

“I don’t know why the hell I bother with you sometimes.” Chellick sighed. “I’ve got to get back to the station. I’ll talk to you both later.”

He left the apartment without another word.

“He’s upset about us,” Garrus said as soon as he was gone.

“That might be some of it.”

“You’re sure that you…you don’t…?” He didn’t finish the sentence.

Shepard cupped her hand against the uninjured side of his face. “Garrus, Chellick is my friend. But I don’t feel the same way about him that I feel about you. I committed myself to you and I’m serious about it. Please don’t ever think Chellick could come between us.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be jealous. I just…”

“It’s okay.” She kissed his mandible. “And you were right. All I need to do right now is focus on you. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m here for you.”

“Thank you, Shepard.”

* * *

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **August 10** **th**

Garrus was already sick of the pain medication. He spent more than half of his day in a drug-induced stupor, half asleep, mind hazy, waking up mostly to have his bandages tended to by Shepard. She cooked his food, cleaned his clothes, helped him to bathe because it hurt to lift his arm on the injured side of his body. He was immensely grateful for her help, but at the same time, he felt awful for the burden he was placing on her, and he knew that in the back of her mind she was worried about Nihlus.

She was at least being open with him. She told him flat out that she had been in touch with Aria and Nyreen again, that she had asked Liara to put out feelers and see what information she could return. He couldn’t really fault her for wanting to find Nihlus again, even though the encounter with him in the warehouse had been such a phenomenal disaster. Maybe she really did just want to pass along the information to Chellick; he couldn’t be sure.

His father had come by a few times to check on him and each time the tension in the room had been unbearable. Shepard would often leave the room to tend to some non-existent errand just to avoid having to talk to him. Garrus would sometimes ask his father if they were ever going to reconcile, but his only response was to pin his mandibles to the side of his face and grunt unhappily.

Between the constant supply of pain medication, the hostility between Shepard and his father, and the fact that he’d been stuck in his apartment for over a week, Garrus was going stir crazy. He needed a break from all of it. All except Shepard. So he convinced her to take him for a short walk around the district, just to get out of the apartment and use his legs, then he convinced her to wean him off the pain medication.  _ That _ had been hard at first, because the newly generating skin and plating forming in line with the grafts and cybernetics on his face hurt more than he could have imagined.

Once he got used to less pain medication, though, things got better; his thoughts were more coherent, and he was able to spend a few minutes each day stretching, even convincing Shepard to lightly spar with him, though she would never do more than chop weakly at his arms or his torso. The movement helped strengthen his injured shoulder, and got his heart rate up after a lot of sedentary behavior.

“Not so fast, Garrus. You’ll overexert yourself.” Shepard chided. They had moved his coffee table out of the way to spar in front of the couch. She lifted an arm as he jabbed his hand forward, his blunt talons scratching down her forearm when he had been aiming for her face; he knew she would block him.

“I’m fine,” he promised. “It feels good to move.”

She swung her arm up from below him to knock him in the stomach, but he blocked, grabbing her wrist with his hand and pushing her backward.

“When you’re better,” she breathed, wiping some sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, “We should try sparring for real. I can show you what I’m really made of.”

“You think you could take me?” He laughed.

“Think?” She scoffed. “I  _ know _ I could take you, Vakarian.”

With less medication in his system, his blood pumping, he found that sparring with Shepard was not so different than sparring with a turian woman: his plates stirred every time she made impact with him, or when she let out a little grunt of exertion as she lunged at him. He’d gone plenty of rounds with other turians during his military service and his training at C-sec, and sparring with a woman usually ended in someone’s bedroom.

He was becoming painfully aware that it had been over two weeks since he and Shepard had slept together.

“You sparred with a turian before, Shepard?” He cringed after he said it, hoping her mind didn’t immediately leap to Nihlus.

“Damn right I have.” She allayed his fears quickly enough. “Chellick had this friend.” She brought her arms up to block another attack. “He was a real loudmouth. I met him a few times when I ran into Chellick at the bars. You know the type, don’t you? Always going on about his conquests and how he could beat anyone in a sparring match one-handed, always ragging on Chellick for his interest in humans.”

Garrus’ brow plate shifted. “And you handed him his ass on a platter?”

Shepard’s mouth twitched into a sly grin. “One night after we’d had a few drinks, I finally told him to put his money where his mouth was. We went out into the alley and had it out. Even half-drunk he put up a pretty good fight, but I still kicked his ass. Found out then and there that turians get  _ real _ hot and bothered when they start sparring. I mean, I already knew a lot of them liked taking orders, but this was different. Practically primal.”

Considering the way Garrus’ plates were shifting, he knew exactly what she was talking about. His blood ran so  _ hot _ when he started sparring, sometimes the urge felt almost uncontrollable. Of course, turian society placed importance on autonomy and consent above all else, so it was never as simple as an animalistic override, but sex with a sparring partner was always  _ hard _ and  _ rough _ , uniquely different than other encounters.

“You slept with Chellick’s friend?” He asked, somewhat surprised.

“Yeah.” She was covered in a thin sheen of sweat now. She jumped forward and he blocked her, then lashed out at her only to meet her arms again. “He was all talk there too though. He pinned me against the wall and I was expecting the best sex of my life, but he barely lasted ten seconds inside of me. He’d never had a human before.”

The thought of someone else inside of her lit an ugly flare of jealousy inside of him; it was his breaking point. When she lunged at him again, he grabbed her, throwing her down onto the couch and climbing on top of her, gripping her hair as he brought his mouth to meet hers. All the while, his body protested vehemently at the effort, especially when her lips met the scarred side of his mouth.

“Garrus,” she breathed heavily beneath him, “you’re way too weak for this.”

“No, no…” He insisted. His pelvic plates were open now and he was nearly out of his sheath. “Don’t you want this, Shepard?”

Her face was flushed. “God, of course I do. But I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I won’t.”

“You can barely kiss me without wincing.” Her hand brushed tenderly against his uninjured mandible.

“So no kissing.” He snaked his hand inside her pants and brought a finger between her legs. Her hips bucked to meet him.

“Fuck, Garrus…we really shouldn’t…”

She was wet, but not enough to be ready for him. The feeling of her heat against his finger coupled with the low moan that escaped her throat made him slide from his sheath. He slid his finger inside of her and she gasped.

“God dammit…” She clutched his shoulder. “Garrus…you’re going to overexert yourself.”

“So you go on top.” He slid his finger back and forth across the tender bundle of nerves between her legs. She moaned softly.

“You have to tell me if it hurts too much.” Her words were ragged.

“Sometimes it can be good if it hurts a little.” He breathed against her ear.

“Take your clothes off.” She pushed him off of her and stood up, removing her clothes in a rush, nearly tripping over her pants as she shoved them off of her legs. 

Garrus shoved his own pants off, unhooking the fabric from around his spurs and tossing them to the floor, his shirt quickly joining the pile. He’d barely gotten his clothes off and fallen back against the couch when Shepard climbed onto his lap and straddled him. There was a sense of extreme urgency, always in the air after sparring, but made more apparent by the length of time that had passed since they’d last slept together.

Shepard’s hand wrapped around him, stroking up and down the length of him and forcing a moan from the depths of his throat. His hands moved greedily to her thighs, talons dimpling into her skin. If he’d been at full stamina, he would have flipped her underneath him and fucked her until his legs gave out; he simply didn’t have the strength for that now.

“Shepard…please…” He gasped as her hand moved against him, his hips bucking involuntarily into her grip.

“You know if you were up to it, I really would have kicked your ass, Garrus.” She let go of him and placed a hand on his chest. “I would have ground you into the floor.” Oh, damn her, she knew  _ exactly _ what she was doing to him.

“Tell me.” His talons dug deeper into her thighs, the wet heat between her legs tantalizingly close to his cock.

She leaned forward and nipped at the skin on the uninjured side of his neck, just hard enough to send up a rumble of surprised pleasure from his subvocals.  “Feel my muscles, Garrus. You know what I could do to you.”

His hand reached up and trailed along the tight, rippling muscles in her arm.

“Don’t make me beg, Shepard.”

“I don’t have the time or the patience for that.” Without any further fanfare, she lowered herself slowly onto him, inhaling and biting her lip as she settled her bottom against his pelvis.

He’d almost forgotten how tight she was and when that familiar heat surrounded him, he forgot entirely about the dull pain coursing through the entire right side of his upper body. He held her hips as she grinded them back and forth; one of her hands clutched the collar of his cowl for leverage as she moved.

“Harder.” He begged.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” All of her abrasive talk was gone now, replaced with a look of genuine concern.

“You won’t. I’ll tell you.” 

She ground her bottom harder against his pelvis, her nails digging into the soft skin just inside of his cowl. He thrust his hips upward to meet her, but the effort resonated up into his chest where some of the blast had hit him. His mandibles pinched against his face and he closed his eyes as he tried to ignore the pain in favor of the pleasure between his legs.

Shepard slowed to a halt. When he opened his eyes, she was frowning at him.

“Garrus. You’re in pain.”

“I’m fine. Go. Come on.” He traced his hands up her back.

“If I go again, you have to stop moving your hips. It’s hurting you.”

He leaned his head back with an exasperated sigh. “This is not how sex after sparring is supposed to go.”

“I know.” She leaned forward and kissed him softly. “We’ll take a raincheck on the rough sex, hm? Once you’re better you can show me what you’re made of.” 

She resumed her slow, steady grinding, and though he would have liked things to be a little faster, when he looked up at her, mouth open as the quietest moan escaped her lips, he was so full of love that he forgot everything else.

How the hell had he fallen for this wild, unpredictable human? And why had she fallen for him in return? There was no questioning how she felt, in his mind; it was evident in her tender touch as she tended to his wounds, or the way she would softly hum with his head on her chest as she stroked his mandible, and even now: acting with a softness and intimacy reserved for him, always making sure he was okay.

It may have made his father unhappy, but he loved her too damn much to care.

* * *

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **August 17** **th**

Though he still wasn’t up to full speed, Garrus’ wounds were healing better than Shepard could have hoped. The medication he’d been taking in combination with the cybernetics was increasing his rate of recovery. Nearly three weeks had passed, and already the stabilizer hooked to his mandible was almost ready to be removed.

The wounds still needed tending, though, and there would be an extensive network of scars stretching out across his face and neck and shoulder for the rest of his life. 

He had recovered enough that they could have sex without him wincing every five seconds. She still had to do most of the work, though he continued to insist that he  _ could have _ if she would just let him. It was getting better, at least.

All the time spent recovering and off the job had Garrus going slightly stir crazy, so they took walks around the ward occasionally, but never very far. Once or twice, Shepard had been home to handle finances with Thane and to stop in and see everyone. She had been keeping in touch through the extranet, sending bounty notifications their way through Garrus’ software, surprised Castis had not found some way to block the access; she was sure he was working on it.

No news had come from Nyreen and Aria, nor from Liara’s networks, so Shepard continued to lay low, taking Chellick’s advice. She  _ knew _ he was right; it was entirely plausible that Nihlus had thugs out looking for her: she planned to be prepared.

After a walk around the ward and a roll between the sheets, Garrus was resting in his room and Shepard sat on the couch in her underwear eating leftover pasta while she watched an old human vid that Garrus wouldn’t have appreciated. 

She was taken by surprise when the door to the apartment slid open. Considering she had been keeping it locked recently, she was afraid it might be someone sent to find her, but her fear was quickly replaced by embarrassment as Castis walked in with a plastic sack in his hands. She reached for the pillow behind her back and used it to cover herself as much as possible, her face flushed red.

“Ever heard of knocking?” She demanded.

Castis stood in the doorway with his mandibles pinched to his face. “I have the access code. Why are you sitting on my son’s couch in your underwear?”

“We’re both adults, Castis, I’m sure you can figure it out.” She rolled her eyes.

“Garrus doesn’t need to be exerting himself. You should know that.”

“ _ He _ didn’t exert himself.” Shepard shrugged.

Castis snorted unhappily. “ _ Really _ , Jane.”

“Did you come with a purpose or just to stand there and look disgruntled that I’m still here?” 

“I brought some food and necessities.” He strode over to the dining table. “Why don’t you put some clothes on? Where is Garrus?”

“He’s resting.” She stood up and shuffled toward the bedroom. “I’ll be right back.”

She thought she heard the faintest sound acknowledging that he’d heard her. Her clothes were in a pile on the floor, so she pulled them on in a hurry. She had half a mind to wake Garrus so that she didn’t have to deal with Castis, but he was sleeping so soundly and he looked so peaceful that she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Castis had unpacked the contents of the plastic sack by the time Shepard returned to the front room. There were several home-cooked meals packaged tidily into individual containers, a few bars of dextro chocolate, and some soap and other hygiene products. Castis laid the containers out into two rows, each containing five meals.

“These ones are dextro,” he said, gesturing to the containers on the right, “but these ones are levo.”

The implication struck Shepard sharply. She stared at the food intensely in an effort to avoid meeting Castis’ gaze. “You…made levo food?” She was surprised, and a little annoyed, at the way her voice caught in her throat.

He gathered up the first row of containers and carried them to the fridge. “I can’t pretend to be happy about any of this, Jane, but you’ve been taking good care of Garrus and it’s very apparent how he feels about you. You’re here looking after my son, the least I can do is make sure you’re both eating well.”

She couldn’t find any words. She’d been avoiding him every time he’d come by to check on Garrus and now it felt petty. He obviously still cared about her, in some way. She owed him a little more effort in rebuilding their broken relationship.

“How is Garrus doing?” He asked, his voice far softer than it had been when he’d first entered the apartment.

“A lot better. The cybernetic stabilizer can be removed soon. There’s still a lot of scarring though and…”

“Scars are a sign of strength.” He interrupted her. “You, of all people, should know that.”

“You didn’t seem to be thinking about that in the hospital.”

“I would obviously prefer if he hadn’t had half his face blown off stepping in front of a rocket, but I can’t undo it. At least other turians will see his scars and respect him for it.”

Respect? Shepard considered the way so many turians had looked upon her scar when they saw it. Respect wasn’t the first word that came to mind. Recognition of her strength? Sure, but Chellick had been just one of many to show that a scar, as a symbol of that strength, was a great way to attract a partner.

As if Garrus hadn’t already been attractive to most turians.

“You can say what you’re thinking,” she said to Castis. “Visible scars like that mean he’s got a better chance of attracting a bond mate.”

“I didn’t say that.” He folded his arms and glowered at her.

“You didn’t have to.”

“Do you want to discuss this, Jane? Fine. Let’s discuss it. You’re in love with my son and he’s in love with you. What’s the logical end point of this relationship? Do you really think this relationship is built to last? I would say it was formed under precarious circumstances and that eventually it will fall apart because you’re immature and incapable of forming lasting relationships. You push people away from you instead of dealing with problems as they surface. So forgive me if I don’t think  _ you _ will end up bonding with my son for life.”

The words stung to hear. Maybe Shepard would have agreed with him a few months earlier: she was good at pushing people out of her life and avoiding emotional attachments, but she was also ready to put that in her past. She’d never been in love the way she was with Garrus. Thinking about ‘forever’ was too much so soon, but Castis’ implication that it could never happen was insulting.

“Is that what you really think, or just wishful thinking?” She asked. “I don’t think you get a say in it. I can only say sorry so many times, Castis. I can’t undo what I did or what I said to you. I wish you would just fucking  _ try _ to forgive me. I wish I hadn’t done it. I wish I had listened to you, okay? I wish I had let you take me in because my life would have been a hell of a lot better than it is now. But I didn’t and it is what it is. I can keep apologizing until I’m blue in the face but it won’t change anything.”

“I made you the food, didn’t I? You think any of this is easy for me? I  _ am _ trying, Jane. You need to have a little more patience. I can’t forgive you overnight. Everything you’ve done since the trial doesn’t exactly help.” He sighed and rubbed his brow plate. “I’ve got to get back to the station. I’ll come by later to check on Garrus again.”

After he left, Shepard crawled in bed next to Garrus. He shifted against her drowsily, his eyelids fluttering for a moment before he fell back to sleep. Enveloped in his warmth, she lay awake for some time considering what Castis had said, and what he had done. It had to be hard for him to see her with Garrus, considering the resentment that had grown between them in the last five years. She ought to give him more credit for making any effort at all.

The fact that he had made her food said far more than any unspoken suggestion that Garrus could and would do better. In the end, it wasn’t his decision, and he was clearly trying to come to terms with the reality of the situation. She supposed she could stand to be a little nicer to him from there-on-out.

* * *

 

**2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 42  
** **August 22** **nd**

“What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had?”

Shepard posed the question as she and Garrus lay against each other one night, unable to sleep. His arm was draped across her chest, his finger tracing lazy shapes against her shoulder as they faced each other.

He laughed. “The worst? I don’t know. Probably my first time. It was embarrassing. I barely lasted a minute, I had no clue what I was doing…”

“First times don’t count.” She complained.

“Well what’s the worst you’ve ever had?”

“I asked you first!” She traced a finger down the side of his scarred mandible. It wasn’t as tender as it had been, but it was still sensitive. He shivered beneath the touch.

“Okay fine. One time I…uh…was having sex with this girl and she kept uh…crying…”

“Oh no,” Shepard frowned, but a little laugh escaped her throat. “Why was she crying?”

“I think she had just broken up with her boyfriend and I was some kind of rebound. I wasn’t sure if I should stop or not, but she told me to keep going. It was pretty terrible. When I came she started crying harder…”

“That’s awful!” Shepard said, even as she burst into a fit of giggles.

“You’re so sympathetic.” He rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, you’re right. That’s sad.”

“Okay, now you tell me your worst.”

“Hm. I’ve had a lot of bad ones. Probably the worst was this guy who kept calling me ‘mommy’ while he was fucking me. That was…” She shuddered. “That might be the worst. Hard to really get into things when that’s happening.”

Garrus laughed and nuzzled against her neck. “What about your best?”

“You, obviously.” She said without hesitation.

“That’s what I was going to say too.”

She kissed his forehead lightly, brushing her hand along his mandible and humming softly. Sometimes he wondered if her quiet humming was her way of trying to mimic his subvocals, because he felt sure she was saying the same thing with it. 

“Did you always want to join C-Sec?” She asked after a few minutes.

“No. But my dad wanted me to. He wanted Solana to join as well, but she was a lot more of a lost cause than I was. I like what I do, but…sometimes I wish I’d just gone down my own path. I feel like you do more good than I ever could. Bringing people to justice on my own terms…it doesn’t mesh with my dad’s beliefs, but I think it has its merits. I guess being a Spectre would have been similar. I could have gone down that road.”

“A Spectre? Seriously?”

He nodded. “I was being considered for training with a group of about a hundred other turians fresh out of military service. My dad had a fit about it.”

“He doesn’t like Spectres. I remember.” 

“I ended up voluntarily removing myself from the program and applying to C-Sec instead. I always wonder what my life might have been like if I hadn’t, though. But then I think, I never would have met you.” He brushed his fingers through her hair. “I love you so much, Shepard.”

Her arms wrapped around him, one hand brushing gently against the soft skin beneath his fringe. “There’s so many decisions that could have led us both to different lives. I wish neither of us had to go through some of what we’ve been through, but we had to, didn’t we?” She took a deep breath and pressed her forehead against his. “I’m so glad we found each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early post because I'm out of town this weekend for yet another wedding. Well a lot of fluff this chapter! A necessary break examining Shep's relationship kind of with all three major turians in her life and also serving as a sort of interlude before more Nihlus action goes down. Thank you so so so much to the people who've been reading and commenting! I appreciate you all so much and you all motivate me to write every week. More soon!


	21. Exchange

**2183**  
**Presidium – District 2**  
 **September 2nd**

Liara had news on Nihlus’ whereabouts…or else, news that somehow related to Nihlus. Her messages had been very cryptic; she rightfully never trusted any open extranet channels for private information, she’d simply said “I have the info you requested.” Independently, and from a different extranet channel, she’d sent coordinates for a meeting point on the Presidium. Shepard had played her games before, she knew how it went, but the stakes had never been quite so high.

She would have brought Garrus along with her, but it was his first day back on the job since his accident and she doubted Castis would handle it well if Garrus simply failed to show up. He _had_ considered playing hooky, but she’d talked him out of it. She was trying to mend fences with Castis, and Chellick, to some extent; for once she was letting her selfish desires take a backseat to the path that was better for everyone.

The Presidium was busy when Shepard reached the rendezvous point: a shaded cluster of benches in the financial district. Bankers and accountants were on their way to work while others milled about enjoying the cool morning beneath the artificial sun. Shepard had to admit that she liked being up on the Presidium every now and then. The bleak permanent-night down in the wards could get depressing sometimes, and after spending the better part of a month holed up in Garrus’ apartment, the sunlight felt especially comforting.

As she waited for Liara to show up, she sat sipping a coffee she’d purchased from an overpriced café in District 1, a real luxury for her and probably not worth the credits, but it tasted nearly as good as the UV from the fake sun felt. She made a mental note to bring Garrus up to the Presidium for a real honest-to-God date when all of this bullshit with Nihlus was over, then she felt like a complete fucking sap for thinking about something so unabashedly romantic.

Garrus was turning her into a goddamn mushy, lovesick idiot and she wasn’t even that mad about it.

Lost in her thoughts, she almost didn’t notice the asari making her way from the elevator leading down to the wards access corridor. Liara rarely surfaced for meetings, but when she did, she was always sharply dressed, stunning and yet completely ordinary, blending in like any other asari would have.

She sat down a few inches from Shepard and dug through her purse.

“So what’s the big news then?” Shepard asked, not making eye contact.

“It’s all here on an OSD. Unfortunately, I don’t have specifics about a location. He’s spent five years evading prying eyes, even the likes of an information broker, he knows how to keep himself well hidden. What I do have are communications amongst his hired workers: krogan and batarians mostly. The run-in at the warehouse had plenty of them spooked, most don’t seem aware of what happened to Vakarian. They know you’re alive though, and some of them are looking for info on you.” She retrieved the OSD from her bag. “There are some coordinates for supply drop points, some dates and times, _he_ might be present at one of them. No way I can say for sure. I’m still scanning the channels in the meantime.”

She set the OSD between them and stared ahead at a group of salarians heading into one of the banks.

Shepard picked up the OSD and placed it in the inner pocket of her jacket. “How much more to keep searching? Surely the data on this OSD used up the thousand I already gave you.”

Liara shook her head. “No more. I’ll keep searching. It’s hardly time exhaustive to keep a program running for keywords and phrases. I understand what this means to you, Shepard. And after what happened to Vakarian…you two are close?”

“You could say that.” Shepard laughed dryly. “He’s okay now.”

“I’m relieved to hear it. And Castis?”

“We’re…working on it. Listen, Liara, I can pay you, it’s really…”

She held her hand up. “Enough, Shepard. This is something I’m doing for you. For my friend. I do wish you’d keep in touch more, but I understand. We’re both busy these days.”

Shepard finally turned to look at her; there was a little glimmer of sadness in her eyes.

“You could come by too. You’re always welcome. I know Zaeed gets on your nerves, but Tali’s always liked you and I know you’ve always liked Thane.”

A faint smile flickered on her lips. “Thank you, Shepard. I hope the data will be useful to you. I have to get back to my work now. I’ll message you if I hear anything more.”

Shepard watched her walk away. She sat for another ten minutes enjoying the sunlight and finishing her coffee before she made her way home to examine the contents of the OSD and decide what her next steps would be.

* * *

Garrus had been anxious for his first day back, partially because everyone knew what had happened to him and partially because half the station now knew about his relationship with Shepard. He’d also desperately wanted to go with Shepard to retrieve the data on Nihlus from Liara, but she had been insistent that he not miss work to help her, and he knew it would only increase the tension between her and his father if he failed to show up, so he’d reluctantly parted ways with her outside the apartment.

When he entered the station, the lobby still crowded with makeshift work stations, he felt a dozen pairs of eyes train on him. He walked past them, trying to ignore the whispers, the look of sheer shock on those who had yet to see his scars, making his way to the back office where he would be relegated to desk duty for the foreseeable future.

Alenko and Lawson were both at their terminals when he entered the room, and they both looked up upon his arrival.

“Garrus!” Alenko hopped to his feet, greeting Garrus with a surprisingly cordial slap on the back. “How are you feeling?”

“Mostly healed.” He rubbed the scarred side of his face. The cybernetic stabilizers had been removed, and the graft had taken and healed as much as it was likely to, but it still felt foreign. “It doesn’t hurt too much anymore at least. Have I missed much while I was gone?”

Lawson and Alenko exchanged a look.

“We…uh…” Alenko started.

“We aren’t able to discuss the case with you, Garrus.” Lawson finished. “Your fath- the executor has asked us to avoid discussing any case-related material in front of you.”

Garrus sighed and slumped into the chair in front of his terminal. “It’s fine. I get it. I’m off the case, I’m on desk duty, I’m not allowed to hear about it. I can’t complain, it’s my own damn fault. Shepard said Jack was being a loudmouth at the hospital?”

Another look was exchanged. Not promising.

“How many people know?”

“Not everyone,” Lawson said. “Us. Williams. A couple of the executor’s men. Most of them didn’t overhear her, thankfully. Williams didn’t overhear her, but _Alenko_ let it slip to her, which is good because she also mentioned Shepard’s…er… _relationship_ with the captain. I don’t think Williams would have dealt with that sort of rule-bending well. As it was, she had an earful to say about you fooling around with Shepard…”

“We’re not _fooling around_.” Garrus stared moodily at his terminal. “Never mind. This isn’t…I’m just relieved it’s not the whole damn station that knows.”

“The executor asked everyone who overheard to keep quiet about it and that unless Shepard was arrested for something going forward, it wasn’t technically breaking any rules.” Lawson leaned closer to him. “Garrus…I’m sorry, it’s not my business.”

“Great, because I really don’t have the stamina to explain it. It was obviously a stupid thing to do, but I won’t call it a mistake.”

“Obviously.” Lawson shrugged. “You stepped in front of a bloody rocket to save her.”

“How’s Tali, Alenko?” Garrus changed the subject abruptly.

Alenko’s cheeks flushed red. “She’s doing well. We’ve uh…spent a lot of time together the last month. Shepard was looking after you so…well anyway, she’s good. We’re good.”

“I’m glad.”

“Another relationship I don’t understand.” Lawson muttered. “At least the quarian doesn’t have a list of priors…”

“There’s a lot of chatting coming from here.” Chellick appeared in the doorway, arms folded. “Garrus.” He nodded. “I’ve got a stack of OSDs that need sorting. Lots of old files to sift through, some need to be deleted, some need to be archived onto the C-sec servers. Should keep you busy for a while.”

“Sounds like a real blast, Chellick.” Garrus groaned.

“Look, Garrus, I don’t need any attitude, all right? I’m swimming in fucking dead ends thanks to Shepard’s little stunt and I’ve got your dad breathing down my neck every five seconds. Just do your damn job. It’s not my fault you got kicked off of this case.”

Garrus was irritable and frustrated, and he knew Chellick didn’t deserve the brunt of his anger, but he couldn’t help but think that if he’d been removed from the case for his relationship with Shepard, it made no sense that Chellick was allowed to stay.

Except that Chellick was the captain, he’d done most of the legwork to find out about Nihlus in the first place, and he was the one who’d uncovered the evidence that stripped Nihlus of his Spectre status.

Garrus was nothing but a lowly C-sec officer who’d pissed off his dad, the executor.

“Fine. I’m sorry, Chellick.”

“I’ll bring the OSDs in and let you get started. I don’t have to tell you that you could get suspended or fired if I find you snooping into any files on this case. Your access has been revoked, but if I even think that…”

“I get it. You don’t have to worry. I’d like to keep my job, even if it is sorting OSDs for the next three months.”

“I’ve got to be strict about this. I’m on thin ice and your dad-“

“Speaking of, where is he?” Garrus asked.

“He had to leave to take a call. He’s still got to worry about the rest of the damn Citadel. And commander Aiala has been working double-duty minding the other districts while we focus our energy on this case.” Chellick pinched the bridge of his nose. “ _She_ might be by today and I swear to the Spirits if she somehow finds out about fucking Shepard…”

“If my dad didn’t fire you, what’s the commander going to do?”

Garrus had only met the commander once: an intimidating asari, but she was still just a commander. She had dozens of other district precincts she oversaw, and her authority hardly trumped the executor’s.

“It doesn’t matter. She’ll still throw a fucking fit about it. Possibly even ask for an independent investigation. I’m not fucking around when I tell all three of you to keep your damn mouths shut about Shepard in front of the commander. Spirits, if she knew half of the shit I’ve done…” He walked away, muttering to himself.

“I think the captain is afraid of the commander,” Alenko said.

“I don’t blame him.” Lawson shrugged. “She deserves her position, but she’s quite severe.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Garrus laughed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her eyebrows knitted as her mouth creased into a frown.

“Please, Lawson. You’re hardly what I’d call easy-going.”

“Excuse me for liking a bit of privacy. I still go out to the bars with you all sometimes. Just because I’m not interested in getting so drunk I can’t remember my name…or sleeping with strangers.” She rolled her eyes and turned back to her terminal. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Vakarian.”

Mostly because there was a lot she never said, but he kept that thought to himself.

Chellick returned with the promised stack of OSDs, piling them next to Garrus’ terminal and patting him on the shoulder.

“Good luck, kid. I’ve got to go try and make this station look halfway presentable before the commander gets here. Say a prayer to whatever God you humans worship that this goes smoothly. We might manage to keep her out of our station for another two months if it does.”

He disappeared again and Garrus pulled an OSD from the pile. There were dozens and dozens of them, and each contained thousands of files to sort through; Chellick hadn’t been joking when he said it would keep him busy for the foreseeable future.

As he scanned the files on the first disk, he couldn’t help but think that losing his job and turning full-time bounty hunter might have been the better option.

* * *

The OSD Liara had given Shepard contained exactly what Liara had promised. No more, no less. For a while she had stared at the data, considering sending the details to Nyreen for her to review with Aria; she knew that together, with Tali’s help, the data would likely lead them to Nihlus eventually, and subsequently another attempt at revenge.

Ultimately, though, she made a different decision: one she never would have made a few months earlier.

The district 42 C-sec station was as crowded as ever when she arrived, all of Castis’ turian and asari officers spread out at work stations. Chellick was pulling some datapads from a shelf, his back turned to her. When a group of officers began to stare upon her arrival, whispering to each other, Chellick turned around.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He growled.

“Nice to see you too. Jesus, Chellick.” Shepard folded her arms.

“I don’t want you here anymore after the shit you and Garrus pulled. I especially don’t want you here today.” He grabbed her arm and began tugging her back toward the front door.

“Let go of me!” She barked.

He dropped her arm, obedient as always, but continued to fix her with a steely glare.

“I came here to talk to you. I have evidence you’ll want.”

He blinked at her. “What?”

“I know you told me not to, but I reached out to Liara about intel. I-“

“Spirits, Shepard.” He clenched his fists. “Why can’t you just fucking listen to me? Why can’t you just… _FUCK_.” He kicked the front desk and winced when his foot made contact with it. “I can’t use evidence from a fucking information broker. It’s not admissible, it’s…” He shook his head. “And the fucking commander is coming today. And if anyone let’s slip what you and I have done to each other…”

“The commander is coming?” Shepard’s legs felt suddenly weak.

“Yeah. She could be here any minute.” He glanced at his omni-tool. “Just…come on. Back to my office. Before anyone else starts whispering about this.”

He stormed off and she followed him, winding down the hallway to his office.

“Shepard?”

She skidded to a halt in front of the back office. Garrus was seated at his terminal with a stack of OSDs as tall as he was next to the monitor.

“What happened with Liara?” Garrus asked.

Chellick’s fingers curled around her forearm. “No time to chat with your boyfriend, Shepard. I don’t want the commander seeing you here, period.”

She gave Garrus an apologetic look and let Chellick pull her into his office, where he shut the door behind them and triple checked that it was locked. Satisfied, he slumped into his chair with a long, low groan.

“I need a drink.”

Shepard reached into her pocket and grabbed the OSD, setting it in front of Chellick and taking a seat in the chair in front of his desk. He stared at it for several seconds before turning his gaze to meet her.

“What’s on it?”

“Information on Nihlus. Comms between his men. No specific locations, but it could lead you to him.”

“Why are you giving it to me?”

Shepard shrugged. “I thought about going to Aria, but I thought you deserved it more. I’m trying here, Chellick. I really am. If you can find him…if you can catch him…I’m trusting you to follow through with your promise to me.”

Leaning forward, he picked up the OSD lightly and turned it over a few times before pocketing it.

“Thanks, Shepard.” They were both silent for a moment before he spoke again. “I’m sorry I got so short with you. I’m just a little on edge right now with this case, and half the damn station knowing about you and me, and the commander coming today. If she finds out…it could be a whole thing. She’s such a fucking stickler for the rules; she’d call for an investigation against me and Castis and we might both lose our jobs…I…”

“Chellick.” She interrupted him. “I’m sure it’s going to be okay. I’ll lay low…and people are pretty loyal to Castis. They won’t say anything about it, I’m sure.”

He nodded, though his face was still masked in concern and uncertainty.  “At least Williams doesn’t know about us. She was annoying enough about you and Garrus…I think she’d quit and file a report if she knew what I’ve done.”

There was a knock on the door and Chellick tensed up, his talons digging into the armrests on his chair. Shepard held completely still, barely breathing.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me. Open the door, Chellick.” Castis’ voice sounded on the other end.

“Executor Vakarian…uh…is the commander with you?”

“Not yet.”

Chellick hit the button beneath his desk to open the door and Castis stepped in, stuttering to a premature halt at the sight of Shepard.

“Are you insane?” He directed his attention to Chellick. “Commander Aiala will be here any minute and you have Shepard locked up with you in your office? Spirits, Chellick, do you _want_ to lose your job?”

“She brought us evidence on Nihlus.” Chellick rose to his feet. “I’m _trying_ to keep her out of view until the commander gets here.”

“Evidence?” Castis cocked his head. “What kind of evidence.”

“Comms from his men.” Shepard explained. “Not solid locations, but it could still be useful. I have a friend that’s an information broker. She obtained the data for me. She has programs scanning for more intel in the meantime. I reviewed the data and I brought it here instead of handing it over to Aria.”

“ _Aria_?” Castis balked. “Aria T’Loak? You’ve been working with her?”

She could see Chellick wince in her periphery. Obviously he hadn’t brought it up with Castis.

“She was with us at the warehouse…when Garrus-“

The sound of boots sliding across tile interrupted her: a short, sharp _squeak_. Alenko appeared in the doorway looking slightly disheveled, eyes wide.

“Commander Aiala is coming down the hall, captain.” His gaze darted to Shepard. “Er…she was headed this way.”

“ _Fuck_. Shepard, get over here. You know the drill.” Chellick beckoned her forward and shoved her beneath his desk. She tucked herself into the corner and held her breath.

She had met commander Aiala on two different occasions and both encounters had left her more intimidated than any other run-in with C-sec ever came close to. She was a tall, imposing asari who adhered so diligently to rules and regulations that she made Castis look like a dirty cop.

The first time Shepard had run into her had been the first time Chellick was unable to let her go. He’d stepped in to “interrogate” her after she’d been pulled in for interfering with a C-sec investigation during a bounty run, but the commander had arrived and taken over the interrogation herself. She never resorted to any of the tools stored in the cabinet in the interrogation room, simply spoke in a calm and collected manner as she drilled Shepard for hours beneath the hot light beaming down on her.

The second time she’d run into the commander, Chellick hadn’t even been around. She’d had two open warrants in the system and if not for the krogan drug lord she’d help bring down right before she got caught, she very well could have wound up in prison for six months; the commander certainly came close to putting her there.

Those two run-ins had been enough for a lifetime and she knew damn well if the commander found out about her relationship with _any_ of the turians in that precinct, they would all be under investigation and Shepard might risk being thrown in a cell permanently.

Chellick took a seat in his chair and pushed himself against the desk until his shins were in Shepard’s face, one leg jittering nervously. A chair scraped against the floor as Castis took a seat on the other side of the desk. Footsteps sounded outside the door and then Shepard heard that familiar, calm voice that sent a little chill down her spine.

“Executor Vakarian. Captain Laratus. Glad you’re both together. We have much to discuss.”

“Commander Aiala,” Castis replied curtly. “I have to apologize on the captain’s behalf. His station is in somewhat of a disarray because of my crew, but you understand the necessity with a case like this.”

“Of course, executor. I understand your son is back on duty. I’m glad to hear he’s okay. But it was difficult to get a clear answer from any of your men about how exactly he came under fire. According to the report in the system, he was absent from your ground squad when you began your assault on the operation in the warehouse in Zakera…?”

Shepard was barely breathing, the front of Chellick’s legs pressing against her own. She knew the commander had a keen sense of hearing, and if she moved even an inch, the asari would notice it.

“My son…” Castis cleared his throat. “Officer Vakarian breached protocol and attempted to extract the fugitive on his own. He arrived at the warehouse before the rest of the ground squad and was met with resistance from Kryik and his bodyguards. Kryik fired a rocket launcher and Officer Vakarian sustained extensive wounds to the face and neck.”

The commander made a sound that suggested she didn’t entirely believe the story, but whatever she thought, she must have realized how much the executor outranked her. “I assume he’s been appropriately reprimanded for this vigilante behavior?”

“He’s been removed from the case and assigned desk duty indefinitely.” Castis answered.

“Captain Laratus, do you have any leads on Kryik’s location?” The commander shifted the conversation abruptly. She had a way of doing just that, Shepard had learned as much after enduring hours of interrogation from her; coupled with her disconcertingly calm voice, it made Shepard all the more uneasy around her.

“No leads yet, commander. We received an OSD from an anonymous source. The source claims it contains comms from Nihlus’ men. It might lead us to him. I haven’t been able to look into it yet.” Chellick was trying to remain composed as he spoke to her, but Shepard had spent enough time around him to recognize the subtle shift in his subvocals when he was anxious.

“An anonymous source?” The commander asked. “It was just dropped off at the station? You seem to have quite a few anonymous sources in the area, captain.”

Chellick gave a non-committal shrug.

“By the way, executor, two of your men mentioned to me that they saw the sole survivor at the hospital speaking with both yourself and captain Laratus. Is this accurate information? It’s my understanding that she’s been running around the slums wreaking havoc since the trial against Kryik ended. What was she doing at Huerta Memorial?”

Shepard could _see_ Chellick tense up in front of her. His foot pressed against her shins.

Castis, thankfully, was quick on his toes. “We’ve all seen her record in the system, commander Aiala. I believe captain Laratus is most familiar with her handiwork, considering how often she’s been brought into his station. Knowing my close relationship with lieutenant Shepard prior to the trial, captain Laratus has kept me updated on her whereabouts as a courtesy, though we haven’t been in touch in many years. She knows a lot of what goes on in the wards. Through some means or another she heard about my son and came out of hiding to see me.”

“Hm,” the commander said. “A not entirely appropriate relationship with a criminal, executor.”

“I assure you, commander, until the hospital we hadn’t spoken since she chose that path.”

“I don’t mean to question you, of course. You are the executor for a reason. I was merely curious about her presence. I assume she must be aware that Kryik has returned to the Citadel. We should keep a watchful eye; she could easily ruin this investigation for us. When emotions are allowed to play into matters such as these…it clouds the mind.”

“Of course. I understand completely.” Castis told her. “Did you have any updates on the other districts you wanted to discuss?”

“No updates,” the commander replied. “My main interest was in the sole survivor. The other districts in the ward are doing well, managing under added funds from your initiative. I’m glad to see captain Laratus is doing well in his role as well. Are you enjoying your rank, captain?”

“Of course, commander. Honored, as always.”

Shepard heard the commander rise to her feet. “Very well. I will begin my inspection of the station.”

“Commander, if you would bear in mind that my men are taking up space in captain Laratus’ station at the moment…” Castis spoke.

“Of course. I may be strict, but I am not unforgiving. I understand that this case has placed an added burden on the district. Captain Laratus has always kept a relatively clean and orderly station, I doubt I will find anything changed beneath the added desks and bodies. I’ll report back to you when I’m finished. Good to see you as always, Castis.” Shepard was surprised when she dropped the formality.

“You as well, Samara.”

The commander left the room and for a moment, no one moved or spoke. After nearly an entire minute had passed, Chellick pushed his chair away from the desk and slumped down with a sigh.

“Spirits, she makes my plates itch.”

Shepard crawled out from under the desk, her joints stiff and locked. She turned to face Castis once she managed to get to her feet.

“Thank you…for lying to her.”

“What else would I have done?” Castis’ mandibles twitched. “It’s not like I was going to tell her the truth. Half this department would lose their jobs if I did. Forget that if she knew about everything that had happened here, I’d be under investigation too.”

“Castis, could we…I just…” Shepard wasn’t sure what she wanted to say, or that she could even bring herself to say it if she did.

“Just leave, Jane. Slip out the back door while the commander’s investigating the lobby and go home. And keep your nose out of this investigation or we _are_ going to have a problem,” Castis growled.

She bristled. “I went out of my way to get that data for you!”

“No one asked you to. In fact, I believe captain Laratus explicitly told you not to reach out to any ‘contacts’ of yours.”

“If the data ends up giving you a break in this case I’d prefer a fucking apology. I could have taken this information to Aria and gone after Nihlus myself, but I wanted to do the right thing.”

“Shepard, could you please just go home?” Chellick groaned. “Thank you for the data, and I hope it does lead to something, but I’ve got such a massive fucking headache from dealing with all of the fallout of your fucking mistake and trying to scrape this case back together. Just…give me some time.”

“Fine. I’ll go. I know you won’t keep me or Garrus updated on this case. I get it. I fucked up. I’m _trying_ to fix my mistake.”

She swept out of the room without another word, feeling childishly impudent, a little selfishly annoyed that they didn’t appreciate the effort she had made to obtain the data for them. After a quick glance around the corner to make sure the commander was out of sight, she slipped out the back door and made her way home.

Deep down, she was well aware of how massively she had fucked things up. So for the time being, her only plan was to keep her ear to the ground and stay out of trouble. She would not discuss plans to find Nihlus with her roommates, she would not reach out to Aria.

Until Chellick handed her the keys to Nihlus’ cell, she would focus on her relationship with Garrus, on mending her relationship with Castis.

For once in the past five years, she would try to forget about Nihlus Kryik.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for these couple of slow interlude chapters. Things will start picking back up in the next chapter. I wanted to take a minute to point out, for those who didn't see on my tumblr post, the AMAZING art from Beth Adastra - the art can now be viewed in the fic itself at the ends of chapters 9, 11, and 18. I'm so insanely happy with these pieces and hope you enjoy them too! I highly recommending checking out Beth's other work bethadastra-art.tumblr.com and here on AO3 (https://archiveofourown.org/users/BethAdastra)(her Rydros fic is one of my favs). Thank you all so much for continuing to read this story and for your wonderful comments. I don't think I'll ever be able to express how much joy I get from writing this piece and the comments I receive but I appreciate you all so much!


	22. Gone

**2183**  
**Presidum – District 7**  
 **Sept 8th**

Garrus was holding Shepard’s hand. In public.

Considering the things they had done to each other in private, an act as simple as hand-holding should not have carried as much weight as it did, but being open with the relationship and their affection was new, and much needed after everything they had both been through.

Up on the Presidium, seeing a turian and a human together was a rarer sight than down in the wards, but people at least had the decency not to scream out obscenities such as ‘bird fucker’. They _did_ receive some stares, but for all Garrus knew, it could have been for the ghastly scars running along his face. Shepard was so tender and affectionate toward his scars that he nearly forgot how shocking his appearance could be to strangers. He never felt ugly with her.

“Does it bother you?” She asked as they came to a halt on a bridge overlooking the river flow below.

“Does what bother me?”

“People stare at us. All the turians I’ve been with…it’s always been down in the wards where no one really bats an eyelid at that kind of stuff, but…up here…well it’s clear that some wounds heal slowly for some people.”

He let go of her hand to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her stomach and resting his head atop hers. “I don’t care about any of them. They don’t know us, they don’t know what we’ve been through. Why should it matter if a generation ago some turians and humans shot at each other? It’s got nothing to do with us.”

She clasped her hands over his arms. “I love you, Garrus.”

He never tired of hearing it, of hearing such a sweet and genuine sentiment from the lips of a woman who had nearly killed him during their first encounter.

“Do you ever think about what we would have been if you had taken my dad up on his offer to join C-sec?” He moved his head to rest against her shoulder, nuzzling against her neck.

“Yeah. But there’s no point in wondering. I didn’t take him up on the offer. Life went on and we met anyway. And here we are.” She laughed, but there was a saddness to her features. “Your dad told me once that he would have been proud if one of his children took interest in me. Funny how time and resentment change things.”

“You’ll fix things eventually, Shepard. My dad cares about you, it’s obvious. He’s hard to deal with sometimes, but he’ll have to accept us eventually. I’m not going anywhere.”

She turned around, pressing her back into the barrier of the bridge so that she was facing him. In turn, he held the railing on either side of her. Her hands brushed against his mandibles.

“You know that I’m not going anywhere either, right?”

“Shepard, you took care of me for an entire month while I was recovering. If you didn’t run then, why would I think you would run now?”

“I’m not used to this. To…domesticity. I’m sorry if sometimes I might seem unsure about it all.”

He reached up and tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “I can be patient for the right cause.”

“Fuck, I don’t deserve you.”

“Stop saying that.” He grabbed her chin. “You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be rid of all of this bullshit.”

“I just wish Nihlus was gone…I wish I’d killed him when I had the chance. It’s so much harder knowing he’s here…knowing how close I was to ending all of this. What will I do when it’s over, Garrus? It’s been there in the back of my mind for the past five years. Who am I without this trauma?” She shook her head. “I don’t know who I am without this.”

“You do.” He kissed her. “I’ve seen her. You’re so much more than this. You’ll see.”

Tears formed at the corners of her eyes and he wiped them away with his thumb. “I want to be here for you, for all of it, Shepard.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I’m here. Whatever you decide to do about Nihlus, I’ll help you. Whatever happens when it’s over, I’ll be there for you.”

How had he come to love her this much? All of the pain of recovery from the wounds he’d sustained after the encounter with Nihlus and he would have done it over again if it meant saving her. He would have done it a million more times to keep her safe.

More than he didn’t understand how quickly he had fallen for her, he didn’t understand why she had let him get so close, but he would be eternally grateful for it.

He’d never believed in soulmates -most turians didn’t subscribe to those kinds of theories - but he did believe there was something more than just coincidence at play in his relationship with Shepard. What was the likelihood that they would end up in the same district of the same ward, given the sheer size of the Citadel?

Maybe it wasn’t fate, but it was damn good luck.

Shepard wiped away what remained of her tears and shook her head. “I don’t want to think about Nihlus or talk about him. It’s in Chellick’s hands now. Let’s talk about something else…do something else.”

“Hmmm. We could go to that dual-chirality bakery and get some of those cupcakes you like,” Garrus suggested.

She laughed. “Yeah, maybe. I’m not exactly swimming in credits at the moment. Between paying Liara for that data she gave me and spending a month taking care of you…my roommates have been picking up the slack a bit, but we’re definitely struggling.”

“So let’s run a bounty.” He brought up his omni-tool and checked his system for any hits. He had been forwarding the hits to Thane and Tali while Shepard was staying with him, but he hadn’t looked at his software in over a week. He should have been better at remembering Shepard’s situation; she didn’t have to sacrifice her time and income to take care of him but she had.

“I guess we could…if there’s something decent in the system. Kicking the shit out of someone would probably make me feel better.”

“It would _definitely_ make _me_ feel better to watch you kick the shit out of someone.” Garrus grinned.

She rolled her eyes and lightly shoved him. “Such a typical turian.”

As it turned out, there was a bounty out in the system _not_ for a person, but for information on a person: a rare hit for Garrus’ system because information hits were not usually placed on active warrants. For Shepard, it would be well worth the task with a reward of twelve-thousand credits. He relayed the information to her and she considered it.

“That would be good money,” she agreed, “though it would mostly be Tali doing the legwork.”

“I know my way around tech. _I_ could plant a bug to get information on this woman.” He told her.

She laughed. “Oh, did I bruise your ego not thinking of you first?”

“Well, I’m not saying I’m as good as Tali.” He shrugged. “But if you want to carry your weight around your house you could let me help.”

“You only have me in mind, huh?”

His mandibles twitched. “If Tali gets involved then we’ll end up going to the station to see Alenko, or she might feel like a third wheel with us.”

“Tali’s my best friend. I think you’ll be feeling like a third wheel. Aw, it’s okay Garrus.” She patted his cheek. “I get it. If Tali comes along to help plant the bug then we can’t go straight back to your apartment and have some special ‘alone time’.” She grinned. “That’s fine. I spent the last two days at home watching cheesy romance movies with Tali. I don’t mind spending some time just the two of us.”

He kissed her forehead. “Perfect.”

They spent a while longer on the Presidium enjoying the artificial sunlight and observing the people passing by, content to stand next to each other, Garrus’ arm around Shepard’s shoulder. For a moment, just a fleeting moment, it was as though nothing was wrong: they were just a happy couple, enjoying a quiet moment together amongst millions of other people going about their lives. Garrus liked to imagine that this sense of peace and comfort would be exactly how their life would be when Nihlus had been taken care of.

But the truth was, life was far messier than that. The shadow of what Nihlus had done would hang over Shepard long after she dealt with him; killing him or locking him up wouldn’t erase that trauma, nor would it cure the anxiety disorder he had left her with. And there was still the matter of her relationship with his father: another wound that would take some time to heal. He was ready and willing to help her, however he could, fully aware that the relationship would not always be as pleasant as it was in that moment.

In the month she had lived with him, in between the moments of shared love and bliss, there had been spats as well; the types of arguments any relationship produced, especially when living in such close quarters and trying to recover. He had been irritated by the fights in the moment, but afterward he had appreciated the necessity of sometimes being angry with each other, of pushing through it, always managing to reach a resolution, though the two of them were both so stubborn that it wasn’t always a quick one.

When they had basked long enough in the light of the Presidium, they searched the extranet and comm channels for information on their bounty target, identified the coordinates they needed, and hailed a shuttle down to Zakera ward.

“So I’ll plant a few bugs around the apartment,” Garrus explained while the shuttle made its way along the rapid transit skyway. “I’ll hook up the feed to a private comm channel and we can deliver that channel to the person who placed the bounty. That should be sufficient to get us the money and, honestly, it’s probably faster and better than what another bounty hunter might offer. The alternative is a weeks-long stakeout to obtain the info. Why bother?”

“Sounds like a good plan to me.” Shepard shrugged and stared out the window. The further they descended into the wards, the more evident it was that she was thinking about Nihlus again. Neither of them had been to Zakera since the encounter in the warehouse; it was on Garrus’ mind too.

In lieu of trying to say something comforting, which he knew would ring repetitive and unhelpful, he simply placed his hand on hers where it rested on her leg, squeezing it gently. She wrapped her fingers around his and smiled.

“Your dad used to squeeze my hand when I was feeling bad,” she said softly. “When I was having a really rough day…when I thought I would never recover from my wounds…it was such a small gesture, but it always made me feel better.”

“I wish I could fix things for you.” Garrus sighed. “If nothing else, that I could mend things between you and my dad.”

“That’s not yours to do, Garrus.” She brushed the back of his hand with her thumb. “It’s my fault things are the way they are. It’s my responsibility to fix it. It’s just going to take time. Maybe when this is all over…then I can focus on it. Your dad means a lot to me…probably more than I’ll ever be able to tell you. He was the only one who was there for me during the hardest time of my life. If…if he hadn’t been there I probably would have killed myself…or I don’t know…never pushed myself to get better.”

“I’m glad that he means so much to you,” he said honestly. “My dad and I have always butted heads, but…I want the two of you to get along. It’s just hard to know that in a different life we could have been together and he would have been happy about it. He would have been _overjoyed_. Instead it’s just another thing to be stressed about on top of Nihlus.”

She pulled his hand to her lips and kissed it softly. “It’s sweet how much you care. We’ll figure it out, eventually. And if we don’t…” She shrugged and looked back out the window. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

* * *

When Shepard and Garrus reached the target’s apartment, they had to enter through an emergency evacuation stairwell on the side of the building, ensure the apartment was empty, which took nearly thirty minutes of sitting around while Garrus scanned the heat signatures inside, then hack into the lock system to let themselves in. Once they were inside, Garrus set his omni-tool to alert them when anyone got close to the front door so they could either hide or run: getting caught breaking into the apartment of a wealthy accountant would not go over well with C-sec, and Garrus was on thin ice already.

Shepard continued to think she didn’t deserve anyone as passionate and loving as Garrus, but it bothered him immensely to hear her voice those thoughts. He’d thanked her a thousand times over for helping to take care of him during his recovery period, and while she’d spent so much of the past five years being nothing but cruel and selfish, with Garrus, all she wanted to do was make sure he was safe. She would never be the kind of woman who thought of her partner as everything, would never think she was ‘nothing’ without him, but her life was so much more fulfilled with him in it. It seemed like every day she found some new way to be grateful for him.

When everything was over, she would make amends with Castis, repair their broken relationship, and she and Garrus could figure out how to be together without so much chaos surrounding them.

Garrus worked as meticulously as Shepard had seen Tali work, so there was no reason to doubt his skill, not that she wasn’t already well aware of his propensity for utilizing tech. She watched him as he set to work planting the bugs around the expansive and beautifully-furnished apartment; they were definitely in the upper wards. She knew her way around tech enough to get by, but had a hard time following the programming Garrus had built for the bugs.

“It’s a good thing I have you to do all the grunt work for me.” She told him taking a seat on the soft, comfortable couch as Garrus crouched in front of her, setting up a bug beneath the vid screen.

“Grunt work? You know, I can leave.” He snorted, but she heard the laughter in his voice.

“No, don’t. I’ve got a great view from where I’m sitting.”

He was kneeling, with his bottom slightly raised and directly in her line of sight.

“Glad you’re enjoying the show.” He wiggled his hips.

“How long do you think we have before the target comes back?” She glanced at the door.

“No clue. Could be gone for the day, could be coming back any minute. Why?”

Her eyes traced the slant of his broad shoulders, down to where his torso narrowed at his thin waist, lingering on his ass, still raised in the air.

“We could have a little fun.” She grinned.

He jumped. “Right here?”

“Yes.”

“We could get caught.” He finally turned to meet her gaze.

“That was part of the appeal, yes.” She laughed.

His subharmonics rumbled, but she wasn’t quite sure it was the same pitch he reserved for his amorous moods. She couldn’t piece apart whether he was excited by the idea or apprehensive. He stared at her with an inscrutable expression for a few seconds and then returned to planting the bug.

“What was that supposed to mean?” She demanded.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Yes you did. Just because I can’t _understand_ your subharmonics doesn’t mean I don’t know when you’re saying something with them.”

“I like the _idea_ of a little added danger,” he admitted without looking at her, “but the practicality is if my alarm system goes off and we’re on the couch with our pants around our ankles, it might be a little hard to run and jump down the emergency escape ladder before the target walks in. And then we’re getting dragged into a C-sec station, and I’m losing my job, and you’re probably getting locked up for a very long time…”

“That’s a bit of a leap. If the alarm goes off, we grab our clothes and jump out the window. We can dress at one of the platforms further down the evacuation ladder. And if it doesn’t go off…well then we had some fun and the target will never know the difference.”

“You talk like you’ve done this before.” His subvocals buzzed with the distinct sound of jealousy.

“Well, I’ve broken into plenty of places before. It bothers you thinking about me with someone else.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Of course it does. It doesn’t help that, regardless of who it might have been, all I can picture is Chellick,” he grumbled.

“It wasn’t Chellick. You don’t have to worry about him, you know that, right?”

“I know. Doesn’t stop me hating the idea of you two together.”

She crossed the room and knelt down behind him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and kissing the top of his cowl. “I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that you’re the best I’ve ever had. I mean it every time. It’s not just because you’re a good lay, either. There’s that emotional element that makes everything…so much better.” She nipped at the plating on the back of his neck and was pleased by the low growl that issued from his chest. “I love you, Garrus.”

He answered her not with words, but with a deep hum from his subvocals.

“Let me finish setting up this bug. It’s the last one.”

“If I must.” She sighed dramatically and stepped away from him, walking back over to the couch and unbuttoning her pants. While his back was turned to her, she shimmied out of her pants and removed her shirt and sat back down in just her underwear.

“So do I get a cut of this bounty?” He joked. “I’m doing a lot of the legwork here.”

“I can think of a way to repay you.”

“I think whatever you have in mind would probably be better than a few lousy credits.”

“Hey, Garrus?”

“Hm?”

“What’s your favorite part of me?”

“Excuse me?” He turned his head and his mandibles flared at the sight of her in her underwear.

“A favorite body part. If you had to pick. _Besides_ the obvious.” She looked him up and down. “My favorite part of you is that little scaly spot on your neck just under your jaw. I love the noises you make when I bite there.”

“I…uh….” He flicked his mandibles and turned back to the bug. “You’re very distracting, Shepard.”

“That’s hardly an answer to my question.” She folded her arms.

“I like your…what did you call it? The front of your cowl.”

She laughed. “My collarbones.”

“You like to be kissed there…and touching it feels similar to a turian.” He shrugged. “But I also like your shoulders.”

She watched him while he finished programming the bug.

“Do you ever wish I was a turian?” She asked.

He closed his omni-tool and turned to face her. “No. As much as I love our sex life, it’s not my primary interest with you, Shepard. If you were a turian…you wouldn’t be you. And it’s _you_ , everything about you, that I’m in love with. There’s never been a moment with you where I wished you were a turian. What would be the purpose anyway?” He crossed the room and sat down next to her on the couch, letting his hand brush against the outside of her thigh. “We’ve both told each other this isn’t a fetish. It’s not about our race, it’s not about anything but you and me.”

He pressed his forehead against hers and she was inclined to say, yet again, that she truly didn’t deserve anyone who loved her as much as Garrus did, but she knew he would chide her for it. With his head against hers, she was overwhelmed with her love for him, but a fear was also creeping up around her heart. After watching him nearly die at Nihlus’ hands, the thought of something happening to him scared her more than anything ever had; she hadn’t felt so afraid of losing someone since she’d pushed Castis out of her life.

What if Nihlus came after them? What if he found out who Garrus was, what his relationship to Shepard was. If he could find out Shepard’s name, he surely had the means to find out about her relationships. She had no doubt Nihlus had eyes on her, even from wherever he was hiding.

What if he found Garrus and did the unthinkable?

“Shepard?” Garrus had pulled away, his head cocked, eyes full of concern.

“What?” She blinked and realized tears had formed in the corners of her eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry…I just…got lost in my thoughts for a minute.” She kissed his mandible and trailed her lips to meet his, but he didn’t take the bait so easily. He pulled away before she could kiss him again.

“You’re sure you’re all right?”

“I promise.” Another kiss as she grabbed his cowl. “C’mon. Let’s have a little fun before we have to leave. Surveillance bounties are always so boring. We may as well do something to make it memorable.”

Somewhat placated, he grabbed her hips and they resumed kissing. His tongue snaked into her mouth as she opened it against his, relishing the pressure he applied as they kissed. Her heart began to race, blood flushing her cheeks; his hands grabbed the edge of her underwear, ready to remove it, and then…

_BRRPT! BRRPT! BRRPT!_

The alarm on Garrus’ omni-tool sounded, alerting them that someone was approaching the apartment. He leaped off of her and scrambled around for her clothes, tossing them at her quickly.

“Get dressed! We have to go!”

“Yeah, no shit!” Shepard was more annoyed at being interrupted than at potentially being caught by the target.

She shoved her shirt on quickly, nearly tripping as she stepped into her pants while trying to run for the escape at the window. Garrus was already there, straddling the exit with his hand held out, panic in his eyes; it was another reminder that beneath the ‘tough guy vigilante’ act he put on, he was still a Good Boy who daddy had raised to follow the rules.

As soon as she reached the window, he grabbed her, hoisting her out onto the escape ladder and shutting the window behind them. They scrambled down the escape several floors, Shepard’s heart still racing, though now from the exertion and adrenaline. When they reached the bottom, she was content to stop and catch her breath, but Garrus took off running to distance himself even further from the scene of their crime. Annoyed, but not willing to let him get out of her sight for the moment, Shepard took off after him until they had run several blocks and he stopped, winded, to slump against a nearby building.

“That was close,” he gasped.

“You were a bit dramatic about our exit. I think we would have been okay without running this far.” She wiped some sweat from her forehead.

“Maybe, but I don’t want to push it. I was mostly thinking about what would happen if my dad found out I got arrested…he obviously doesn’t know I’m still running bounties with you.”

“Well, to be fair, this is our first one since he found out about us. Though, you’re right. He’d probably have an aneurysm if he knew, and I’m already struggling to make things right with him. Maybe you should stay on the sidelines from now on.”

His mandibles twitched and he folded his arms, brow ridge shifting as his subharmonics buzzed with irritation. “I don’t want to miss out on this just because my dad has a stick up his ass. I like running bounties with you and it's way more exciting than the desk duty I’ve been relegated to.”

“Don’t be so pouty.” She tweaked his nose and he snorted unhappily. “I get that you like running the bounties, Garrus, and I like having you with me. You’re the best partner I’ve ever had. But I think making amends with your dad and you helping me with bounties are kind of mutually exclusive concepts. Hiding it from him isn’t really a long-term solution.”

Garrus sighed and rolled his shoulders. “All right. We’ll just see when the next bounty comes up. For the time being, I’m sending correspondence to the person who placed the bounty with evidence of the bugs. Once we get the money, I’ll send the actual feeds.”

Closing the distance between them, Shepard pecked his cheek. “Thanks. Now I can stop thinking about money for at least a day.” She laughed. “Why don’t we go back to your apartment and pick up where we left off before we were interrupted earlier?”

His mandibles flicked into a grin. “I like the sound of that.”

They hailed a shuttle back to Bachjret, talking at first, but quickly becoming distracted by each other. Shepard wondered, even while Garrus’ mouth was glued to her neck, if this honeymoon phase of complete obsession with one another’s bodies would ever end. Realistically, she knew it had to, and that perhaps it felt like it should be over already because their relationship felt so intense for how short it actually was. She wasn’t going to complain, at any rate: she was positive she would never get tired of feeling Garrus touch her, of feeling him inside of her…just the thought was enough to excite her half the time.

The shuttle ride felt like forever and yet not long enough; by the time they landed in front of Garrus’ apartment building, neither of them was ready to let go of the other long enough to make the short walk inside and up to his apartment. When they finally did pull apart and take a look at their surroundings, they were immediately met with the sight of three C-Sec cruisers parked directly outside the building, with police tape blocking off the front door.

Both of them hopped out of the shuttle quickly then, rushing to the edge of the tape where an asari officer stood barring access. Shepard didn’t recognize her, but she was vaguely aware of Garrus addressing her by name. Beyond the asari, she could see Castis and a handful of other officers standing outside the elevator talking animatedly, Castis’ mandibles flaring as he spoke: he looked angry.

Something bad had happened.

The only thought in Shepard’s mind then was Chellick.

“Sorry, but only the officers on the investigation are allowed in right now, I can’t let you…hey!” The asari was explaining the protocol to Garrus when Shepard made the decision to duck under the tape and sprint across the lobby. Garrus was close behind, the asari trailing both of them shouting curses.

Castis looked up at the commotion. “Jane! Garrus! What are you doing?”

“What’s going on?” Shepard demanded. “Why are you here?”

The asari officer reached them, stuttering apologies to Castis, but he waved her away. Shepard smacked her palm against his armor.

“What happened?”

He grabbed her shoulders, fixing her with a serious, but compassionate stare. It was enough to confirm her fears; she was well acquainted with his pitying look.

“First I need you to take a deep breath.”

“Where’s Chellick?” She demanded, already feeling the fear and anger rushing to the surface.

“Dad?” Garrus spoke from her side, though she was hardly aware of him.

“Jane, I need you to stay calm.”

“ _WHERE IS CHELLICK, CASTIS?_ ”

“Dad, what happened here?”

Castis sighed, still keeping a firm grip on Shepard’s shoulders. “At some point in the last hour, a group of krogan broke into Chellick’s apartment. We have video surveillance of their entry. There was evidence of a struggle inside his apartment and they left a note. The footage shows them leaving with Chellick in a bag. He…”

“No.” Shepard shook her head. “No! Where did they take him? What kind of struggle? Castis, is he…?”

“There was some evidence of blood, but not any amount to suggest they killed him.”

“What does the note say? Castis! What does it say?” She smacked his armor again, eyes welling up with tears.

“The note left a set of coordinates and a request for you to come alone. It’s Nihlus, Jane. He has Chellick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise early post! Also welcome to all the people who power-read thru after seeing Beth's beautiful artwork of this fic. You guys are champs, I'm like the slowest reader ever so I'm impressed at the number of people who were like 'I read this in 2 days' WHAT? Kudos to you. I HAVE finished writing this fic in its entirety now and am in the process of editing the last chapters so plan on keeping to my roughly weekly schedule (maybe sooner than that). 
> 
> Also sorry not sorry for this cliffhanger, BYE!


	23. Sympathy for the Devil

**2183**   
**Bachjret Ward – District 42**   
**Sept 8th**

Since Shepard’s last encounter with Nihlus, the concern that he might somehow find her, or worse yet, somehow find Garrus, had plagued her thoughts: an undercurrent of anxiety every waking moment. Not once had she considered that there were others she loved, others she cared about, that Nihlus might target first.

Not once had she considered the numerous reasons Nihlus had for finding, hurting, and killing Chellick.

The note Nihlus’ men had left had been short and sweet: a set of coordinates, followed by “Send Shepard. _Only_ Shepard.”

When Castis told her that Chellick had been taken, she stopped processing anything for several seconds. She was vaguely aware of Garrus saying something to her, of Castis’ firm grip on her shoulders, but all she could think about was Chellick. How badly had they hurt him? What if he was already dead and it was just a ploy to draw her out into the open? If he died it was her fault; she would never forgive herself.

Castis had pulled her over to a seat in the lobby of the apartment building and helped her to calm down, but everything after felt like a blur. There were descriptions of the state of Chellick’s apartment when they found it ransacked, a trip back to the station with Garrus’ hand gripping tight against her waist, debriefings and explanations of possible plans of action in the back office.

“Shepard? _Shepard_?”

Garrus stood in front of her with a look of concern.

“What?” She shook her head.

“Did you hear the plan?”

“I…” She’d hardly been listening.

“Maybe we should give her some time, dad. She’s clearly not handling the information well and…”

“Garrus, time is one commodity we do _not_ have right now,” Castis growled. “The longer we wait to take action the longer captain Laratus is in Nihlus’ hands. We already know he’s been injured based on the blood we found at the crime scene and we’ve all seen what Nihlus is capable of. If we wait too long, we risk bringing Chellick home in a body bag.”

The thought made Shepard’s stomach turn.

“Jane. I know you’re upset, probably feeling overwhelmed, but we can’t do this without you, okay?”

She steeled herself, she couldn’t let her concern affect her ability to function at such a crucial juncture.

“What do you need me to do?”

“We’re going to send you in with a wire. One of our teams will wait in hiding until a point when we can ensure Chellick’s safety and yours. Once we reach that point, you and Chellick need to leave as quickly as possible. If he’s injured we’ll…”

“I can carry him if he’s injured.” She interrupted.

“Jane, you can’t possibly carry a fully grown turian with…”

“I can carry him far enough to get to safety.”

“We’ll have turians on standby to run in and help you if possible.” Castis compromised.

“Fine. What do I do? What do I say? I seriously doubt Nihlus is just going to hand Chellick over. He’s obviously using this as a ploy to get me close. Then he’s going to try and kill us both. Maybe I should walk in with a rocket launcher strapped to my back and see how he likes that.”

“In most hostage situations, the hostage is presented as proof, for whatever bargain he’s hoping to make.”

“That’s assuming Nihlus is playing fair and really will make a bargain. It’s assuming he’s not a fucking lunatic who might just kill Chellick in front of me to watch me suffer.” Shepard clenched her fists.

Garrus’ hand was on her shoulder a moment later. She rested her cheek against his hand; a comfort, if only a small one. She was aware of Castis watching the emotional gesture, but for the first time since their reunion, Shepard thought she saw a hint of something other than disdain in the look.

“I want to come with you on this one, dad,” Garrus said. “I want to be there. I want to help. I know I’m not on the case against Nihlus anymore, but…”

Castis responded with an exhausted sigh. “And if I say no, what then? Are you going to steal another police cruiser and go anyway? You can ride along with me, but you won’t be seeing any action. I don’t trust you to apprehend him according to C-Sec policy.”

It was obvious Garrus wasn’t going to get a better deal than that, so he simply nodded and held his position next to Shepard.

“So when do we do this?”

“Are you sure you’re up to this, Jane?” Castis asked. “We can try to send a team in to extract Chellick but I think the best hope for his survival lies in your hands.”

“Am I sure I can do it? No. The only two times I’ve come face to face with Nihlus, he mangled me and then he mangled my boyfriend.” She derived a small, momentary pleasure from the agitated twitch of Castis’ mandibles as she used that term. “I’ve never negotiated for a hostage with anyone, much less a man who has nothing to lose and everything to gain by ruining my life even further than he already has. So no, I’m not sure I can do it, Castis, but what fucking choice do I have? Let Chellick die?” Tears sprang to the corners of her eyes and she blinked them away, irritated. “I’ll do what I can if it means Chellick might stand a chance of coming out of there alive.”

“Jane, I know that you and Chellick…” Castis started.

“Don’t.” She shook her head. “Please. You don’t know anything about it, Castis. Chellick is my friend and I love him and if he dies because of me…”

“It’s okay.” Garrus squeezed her shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Shepard.”

“You don’t know that.”

“If anyone can do this, you can.”

Why did he have so much confidence in her? Just like his father. Didn’t he know she was damaged goods? Didn’t he know she’d never felt less sure of herself in her entire life? No mission had ever been this important, even in the Alliance.

“What about Tali and Thane and the others?” She ignored the compliment.

“Your friends, I presume.”

“What about them, Shepard?” Garrus asked.

“If Nihlus went after Chellick, he could go after anyone close to me. Can you send someone to watch our apartment or…I don’t know. I should message them, shouldn’t I? I should message Tali.” She brought up her omni-tool, resuming her panicked, hazy state. “I have to tell Tali, I…what if he already took them too? Or…”

“Shepard, stay focused.” Garrus was in front of her, one hand on each of her shoulders. “We can spare a few officers to guard your apartment, but I’m sure they’re okay. Chellick was involved in the case against Nihlus. We have to assume that’s why Nihlus took him.”

“You’re right.” Shepard took a deep breath. “You’re right.”

“You might watch your promises, Garrus. These aren’t your officers to station wherever you please.” Castis folded his arms across his chest, mandibles pinching against his face.

“Don’t tell me you can’t send a couple officers to help,” Garrus growled. “Send Alenko. I know he’d do it, or…”

“Executor Vakarian!” Lawson was suddenly in the doorway, a thin sheen of sweat covering her face; she looked exhausted. “Sir, there’s…an emergency in the lobby.”

“What kind of emergency?” Castis crossed the room to the doorway.

“There’s hardly time to explain. We’re barely keeping her contained as it is and… _ah!_ ”

A burst of blue light exploded behind Lawson and she went flying into Castis, the two of them toppling over into opposite wall. Shepard was on her feet, Garrus reaching for the gun at his side, but neither of them were fast enough. Before she could even process what had happened, Shepard suddenly found herself lying on her back, head ringing from the impact against the hard, tiled floor. A moment later, a familiar purple asari was on top of her.

“Aria?” Shepard asked, dazed.

Aria wrapped her hands around Shepard’s throat. “Where did they take her!?”

There was a blur of movement out of the corner of Shepard’s eye as Garrus tried to remove Aria from on top of her, but just as quickly, Aria flicked him away with a biotic throw, barely exerting any effort as she did so.

“Aria…what?” Shepard choked.

“Nyreen! They took Nyreen!” As quickly as the assault had begun, Aria rolled off of Shepard and began to sob. She’d never imagined the asari capable of any emotion besides anger, so her tears came as a surprise.

“Who took Nyreen?” Shepard asked, though she already knew the answer.

“FUCKING NIHLUS! Who else?” Aria hissed. “He left a note saying to send _you_ if I ever wanted to see her again. If something happens to her I’ll tear you both apart with my mind, I swear to every god you humans worship.”

As if Chellick’s life in her hands wasn’t enough pressure.

“They took Chellick too,” Shepard explained.

“Some fucking consolation. Do I look like I give a shit about some nobody C-Sec officer? If you don’t get Nyreen back alive…”

“I recall you mentioning that the two of you were…’associates.’” Castis had righted himself and stood at the front of the room once more.

“Aria was there when I was attacked. She saw it. Nihlus and Saren had drugged her and were going to sell her to the highest bidder. Sorry if we have a mutual interest in watching Nihlus Kryik suffer and die. I won’t apologize to you anymore, Castis. This is who I am. This is what Nihlus made of me.” Shepard stood up and turned to face Aria. “I’m sorry they took Nyreen. I’ll do everything I can to get her out of there safely, I swear.”

Aria rose to her feet, wiping the tears from her face and replacing her grief with a grimace. “I’ll kill everyone in this fucking station if she doesn’t come back alive. I don’t care whose fault it was.”

“You know, I’m not the one who kidnapped her. Threats aren’t exactly helping here.”

“You want me to pound your skull into the tile again, Shepard?” A blue aura surrounded Aria as she clenched her fists.

“ _Enough!_ ” Castis yelled. “Enough. This isn’t solving anything and the longer you two stand here arguing, the less chance we have of saving _either_ of them. Jane, are you going to go through with our plan or not? Because if you aren’t, we have to start formulating a means of retrieving Chellick some other way.”

“I’ll do it. I’ll do what I have to do to help Chellick. Just promise me you’ll send someone after my roommates. Please. If he’s taken two already, I can’t trust that he hasn’t or won’t take more. Please, Castis,” Shepard begged.

His face softened slightly. “Fine. Alenko and Lawson will keep a post at your home.”

“Sir?” Lawson looked like she needed a long nap, not a stakeout job, but Shepard wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Lawson, get the coordinates from Jane and take a cruiser with Alenko. Jane’s right. We don’t know who else Nihlus could target, but her closest friends are likely targets. Once you’re all set, Jane, come meet us in the lobby to set up the wire. _Miss T’Loak_ , I can show you out.” He added this last part with a sharp edge to his voice.

“I’ll leave when Nyreen walks through those doors.” Aria took a step back. “Come near me and I’ll rip your mandibles off your face.”

Castis eyed her up and down and clearly decided the fight wasn’t worth the wasted time or the risk. He glanced back once more at Shepard and Garrus and then left the room. Shepard gave Lawson the coordinates for her apartment and then she and Garrus hurried out to the lobby for the final debriefing and set up.

For the third time in her life, she would potentially be facing Nihlus, but for the first time, she wasn’t thinking about how much she wanted to kill him.

She was only thinking of Chellick, and how she hoped to God he was still alive.

* * *

 **2181  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 38  
** **December 21** **st**

Shepard never really minded living in the eternal darkness of the seediest ward on the Citadel, but she found she liked it a little less during what should have been the winter. On a space station millions of lightyears from a human colony, running on a galactic standard calendar roughly adjusted for Julian months, it was hard to say what season it even _should_ have been, but December back on the colonies meant cold and snow. The Citadel wards showed no signs of weather whatsoever, besides the somewhat irritating eternal sunshine of the Presidium. Spring was fine, and Shepard had never really enjoyed the cold, but there was something comforting about the old habits of behavior humans fell into around winter: the seasonal signs of coming holidays, escaping the cold inside a warm café or a warmer bar. It was a strange, but small comfort that she found she missed, so she had to placate herself with her imagination.

As she stepped into the seedy little bar in district 38, just days before Christmas, she pretended she was coming in from the cold, loosening the thin scarf that wasn’t necessary, but which she had worn purely for the spirit of things.

Inside, the bar had been decorated with tacky alien approximations of what little they understood about Christmas traditions. A shrub, or what could loosely be described as one, had a few baubles hanging from it in the corner, but the baubles were bright yellow and orange, and the tree was topped with a horrible patchwork angel that looked more like a chicken. Some of the attempts at religious accuracy in the decorations could only be described as incredibly offensive and sacrilegious, but Shepard doubted anyone wandering into this dive bar in Bachjret was exactly devout. The only decoration that actually seemed to have been put up by a human was the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling here and there; a couple leaning against the far wall flirted and kissed beneath it, while a pair of turians observed the greenery with confusion, arguing about its religious meaning.

Shepard had come to the bar that evening with a purpose. Chellick had been pulling favors for her left and right and she wouldn’t abide by that without putting in some effort on her side of their little unspoken bargain. She hadn’t fucked him in weeks and he hadn’t mentioned it, but she knew it was because Chellick wasn’t the kind of guy who would ever force the issue; turians, at least the ones she had met, were all about enthusiastic consent. She didn’t enjoy feeling like she _owed_ Chellick though, and she usually enjoyed their little romps, even if he wasn’t exactly the most _giving_.

She found the turian in question with his back turned to the bar, a drink in one hand, scanning the crowd. When he noticed her, his mandibles twitched and his eyes locked onto her: she could spot those bright green eyes from a mile away.

“Shepard.” He greeted her. “Fancy running into you here.”

“The decorations in here are abysmal,” she replied, leaning against the bar next to him.

“Some of the humans at the station put up some of this crap. Shiny stuff that sheds all over the place. I keep finding it in my cowl when I get home.”

“Tinsel.”

“It’s annoying.” He shrugged.

“Don’t turians have any holidays where they decorate like this?”

“Pointless fanfare isn’t really a turian thing.” He slid his free hand around her waist casually. There was a time when she would have tensed up at such a gesture, but they were well past that point. He had fucked her in so many different positions and so many different places, she wasn’t sure she’d been with anyone as many times as she had with Chellick. Good old, reliable Chellick.

“Yeah, the mistletoe seems to be really confusing the two turians at the other end of the bar. I heard them arguing about it.” Shepard laughed. “Even I don’t really know where that tradition came from, but I know they’re wrong.”

“The green stuff on the ceiling? Boskins at work said it’s to ward off evil spirits. Do humans believe in that stuff?”

“Is Boskins a human?”

“No, he’s a salarian.”

Shepard rolled her eyes. “Mistletoe is just a thing for parties. You put it on the ceiling and if you end up underneath it with someone, you’re supposed to kiss them. It’s stupid and nine times out of ten you end up being goaded on by your so-called friends to kiss someone you have no interest in touching.”

“Forced kissing?” Chellick cocked his head. “Not what I would call romantic.”

“You a real romance expert, Chellick?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Not that _you_ would know.”

“Oh, no, I think it was very romantic when you fucked me in the bathroom of that disgusting club that one time. What every girl always dreams of.”

“Hey, you can pick at that, but you came that time, so I don’t see why you’re complaining.” He shrugged.

“Ideally, I would cum every time.”

He slumped his shoulders. “Ugh, the effort. Isn’t getting you out of a cell better than that?”

“God I’m so lucky to have you, Chellick,” she replied sarcastically.

“Well, it’s not my fault humans evolved such stupid genitals. Why wouldn’t you put that on the inside where it’ll actually be involved? It makes no sense.”

“Take it up with science. All I know is it wouldn’t kill you to stick your tongue between my legs once in your life.” _Not_ that she wanted to subsequently feel like she owed him for such a favor, but she’d had a turian’s tongue between her legs before and nothing really compared.

“I’ll consider it.”

“It could be your Christmas gift to me,” she joked.

“I thought my Christmas gift to you was pulling your ass out of the fire the last two weeks. Do you know how close you were to a run-in with Castis the other day? _That_ would have went well. Thanks to me, you didn’t have to worry about it.”

“I know, I know. I take you for granted.” She patted his chest.

“You don’t. I know you don’t. Maybe occasionally, but not regularly. Look, I don’t want to get all sappy or anything, but I know you care about me, Shepard.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he silenced her. “Don’t deny it, all right? We’ve spent a lot of time together these past couple years. All I’m saying is…I know you’d have my back if I needed you for some reason. You know I’d have yours too.”

She did know it, though she didn’t feel it needed to be voiced, and it made her uncomfortable to dwell on for too long. Outside of the team of bounty hunters she’d assembled, Chellick was her closest and only friend, however dysfunctional their friendship was.

“All right, enough.” She nudged him with her shoulder. “I didn’t come here to talk feelings with you. I came here to get laid.”

“And you pick at me for not being romantic.” He snorted.

“My vote is that we go back to your apartment and do it on the floor in your living room.”

“That _always_ leaves a carpet burn on your skin.”

“Not if I go on top.”

“I like the idea of you doing all the work.” He flicked his mandibles.

“Of course you do.”

“So that’ll kill ten minutes. You really gonna walk all the way home after ten minutes of mediocre sex?”

“Chellick, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re easily ‘average’.”

He laughed loudly at that and she cracked a grin.

“Okay, ten minutes of _average_ sex.”

“Well, then maybe we order some food, you pass out like you always do, we fuck again when you wake up, and we’ll see how late it is after that.” She suggested.

“See, you know the way straight to my heart, Shepard.”

“What, through your dick?”

“Obviously. Should we honor your human traditions with a kiss under the mistletoe before we leave this dive?” He glanced up at the plant hanging not-quite directly above them.

“Ugh, I don’t think so.”

“Well,” Chellick shrugged, “I’m going to tell Boskins he was wrong about it, and then I’m going to tell him you’re supposed to have sex underneath it. I think I can convince him it’s true. He knows a lot, but when it comes to sexual customs he knows almost nothing.”

“That’s almost cruel.”

“Don’t act like you’re not sitting there wishing you had thought to tell that to some salarian.”

“No, I’m thinking I’m _definitely_ going to tell that to some salarian. Good one, Chellick.”

“Was that a compliment, Shepard?”

“ _Almost_ a compliment.”

“Hm, I’ll take almost. About as good as ‘average’.”

She nudged against him as they left the bar together and thought, with some concern, how easy her relationship with Chellick had become. She was getting too comfortable with him, and him with her.

They were friends, she’d come to accept that much, but was there something more there?

She wouldn’t allow herself to think about it too long. Chellick was Chellick, and that was enough. Good old reliable green eyes.

* * *

 **2183  
** **Bachjret Ward – District 45  
** **Sept 8** **th**

Countless hours spent watching ancient and long-running police procedural vids had Shepard convinced that the wire she’d be wearing would be bulky and difficult to hide. For some reason, the accessibility of so much other technology had not transferred to C-Sec tech in her mind. The wire itself was as small as the bugs Garrus had planted in the last bounty target’s apartment, linked to Castis’ omni-tool for direct audio output. There would be no way for Nihlus to know she was wearing it, though she sincerely doubted he would be naïve enough to think she would show up without any C-sec involvement.

Apart from the wire she wore, Shepard brought only her heavy pistol and her omni-tool. She wouldn’t delude herself into thinking she’d get an opportunity to slice Nihlus open with her omni-blade, but if the opportunity arose, she would certainly take it.

The plan was to request Nyreen’s safe extraction before Shepard would discuss anything with Nihlus. She knew she’d never be able to get him to release Chellick as easily, but Nyreen was just collateral, possibly a safety check for Nihlus himself: if he couldn’t kill Shepard, maybe Aria would do it for him if he killed her girlfriend. Shepard couldn’t pretend to completely understand his logic, but that was her best guess. If Nyreen could be removed from the situation, it would solve the problem of Aria and possibly buy her some time to bargain with Nihlus for Chellick’s life.

For once, she would need to be level-headed and thoughtful, rather than her usual impulsive self. One wrong move and she knew Chellick could die. The thought of a world without him was more than she could bear.

As she walked alone to the coordinates Nihlus had left in his ransom note, she found herself wishing she had some sort of physical support alongside her: Garrus, Tali, Thane…just someone to stand next to her and remind her she wasn’t alone. Facing Nihlus one-on-one brought back too many painful reminders of what he had done to her. It would be so easy for him to breach whatever gap lay between them and do it again; he could slice her open before C-Sec could ever make it in.

Somehow, though, that wasn’t her biggest concern. The larger concern was that, before he ever made any attempt to hurt her, he could hurt Chellick…or worse. Hadn’t he done enough? Where did Nihlus get off thinking _he_ was the wronged one just because he’d lost someone he cared about? What sort of delusions did he hold that he was the one who deserved revenge?

By the time Shepard reached the coordinates, her jaw was clenched and her hands were balled into fists, the tension in her body almost painful to bear. The meeting point was cliché to the point of absurdity: a narrow alley in the lower wards with emergency escape ladders and platforms lining the outer-walls of the building, but little else of note. The alley’s dual entrances allowed an obvious escape route for Nihlus, while closed-in walls meant it would also be easy to trap Shepard there, if that was Nihlus’ hope.

She didn’t have long to wait for Nihlus to make an appearance. She was scanning the alley when he appeared on one of the platforms at the far end of the right-hand building, at least four stories up the wall.

“Jane. Glad to see you didn’t keep me waiting.”

Behind him, in the window of one of the apartments, a krogan stood keeping watch. There was no question that Chellick and Nyreen must have been inside the apartment.

Shepard drew her gun. “Before we discuss anything, I want you to release Nyreen Kandros.”

Nihlus leaned against the railing of the platform. If it was possible, he looked even more tired and weary than he had the last time she’d run into him. The effort of hiding from C-Sec _and_ kidnapping one of their officers couldn’t have helped the stress of running one of the biggest drug rings in the Citadel. Shepard hardly felt sympathy for him at the moment, but the fatigue in his eyes was promising: maybe he’d make a mistake.

“I have to admit, I did think Aria would show up before you,” he said. “I didn’t think she’d heed the warning on the ransom note…didn’t think she was capable of acting with any amount of tact. I suppose she’s proven me wrong. Why negotiate for Kandros? She’s nothing to you.”

“Let Nyreen go and then we can talk. Or don’t.” She aimed her gun upward.

“Shoot me if you want, Jane. But be aware of the repercussions.”

He snapped his fingers and the krogan in the window turned his back. A moment later, Chellick was shoved out the window, stumbling forward with his hands bound. Nihlus grabbed him by the neck and summoned his omni-blade, yanking Chellick’s head back and pressing the blade lightly against the soft skin of his neck.

The sight of Chellick was enough to nearly sap what little confidence Shepard had in that moment. Signs of abuse were far harder to notice on a turian, covered as they were in thick protective plating, but she could still see what they had put him through. A thin crack ran along the side of his facial plates where they must have hit him with something tremendously hard, and wherever his leathery skin wasn’t covered in plating, it was splotched with dark blue bruises; his bright green eyes were wide with fear as Nihlus’ blade grazed his skin.

Shepard’s arms shook as she kept her gun trained on Nihlus. “Release Nyreen and I’ll lower my gun.”

Nihlus seemed to mull it over. “Fine. She’s not the real issue, though I had hoped I’d be able to deal with Aria personally. Let the other turian go.” He barked this last part at the krogan in the window and a moment later Nyreen was shoved from the window. She looked less battered than Chellick, but it was obvious they hadn’t been gentle with her either. “Go. Before I change my mind. And tell Aria our score isn’t settled, but Shepard is a bigger issue. She should sleep with one eye open.”

Nyreen didn’t hesitate. She scrambled down the escape ladder, casting one brief apologetic glance back at Shepard before she took off in the opposite direction.

“Now we talk.” Nihlus said.

Shepard lowered her gun and holstered it at her hip, trying to control the way her heart was pounding and her limbs were shaking. She locked eyes with Chellick and his fear was tangible.

“You don’t have to do this, Nihlus. Chellick isn’t who you want.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Jane.” He increased the pressure of his blade against Chellick’s neck, drawing a thin line of blue blood. Chellick squeezed his eyes shut, his breath ragged. “I would _love_ to see you dead, but that’s not justice is it?”

“Justice would be you lying in an unmarked grave with Saren.” Shepard spat.

“You killed the one person I loved most in this world. I’ve had to live with that pain for the last five years. It’s so difficult to get over it. I…I never loved anyone like I loved him. So why shouldn’t I return the favor, Jane? Why shouldn’t I kill someone you love? I’ve heard all about you and the captain from my little birds around the Citadel.” He yanked on Chellick’s fringe and Chellick let out a loud gasp.

“I already lost someone I loved, Nihlus, don’t you understand that?” Shepard’s nails dug into her palm as she clenched her fists, so hard she nearly drew blood.

_Don’t take Chellick from me…don’t take him…_

“Anderson was like a father to me,” she continued. “Saren killed him. I retaliated. Doesn’t that make us even?”

“Saren killed him, not me. Then you killed Saren and I’ve been struggling to deal with that every day of my life. No one else compares. Losing a father isn’t the same as losing a lover. I want you to experience my loss…at my hands.” His blade pressed harder into Chellick’s neck.

“Please…” Chellick gasped.

“Nihlus, you don’t have to do this.” Shepard couldn’t hold back the tears welling in her eyes then. “Please don’t do this. I’m sorry that you lost someone you loved. I really am. I’m sorry that you’ve suffered because of it, but you have to understand…you have to…you have to know why I did what I did. Don’t you feel bad about the people that suffered because of Saren? Don’t you think about that at all?”

“Of course I do!” He yelled. “Saren was…influential and intimidating. I didn’t…” She thought she saw him falter then, his blade slipping slightly further from Chellick’s skin. “I didn’t _want_ to run that trafficking ring, but Saren…well it made us a lot of money and he swore that once we finished that load of cargo that would be it. We could use our Spectre status to out-compete other slavers. It was stupid. I told him we should run drugs or something with less direct impact, but…” He shook his head. “I regret what we did on Elysium, but I don’t regret what I did to you Shepard. You hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me.”

“Love makes you do stupid things,” she replied, her heart in her throat. “It makes you do things for the people you love that you would never do otherwise. Please…we both lost people we loved. We both suffered for that already. If you want me to die, fine. We’ll finish this, just the two of us. That’s how it should be. Don’t bring Chellick into this. He doesn’t have to die. This isn’t about him.”

Nihlus’ mandibles twitched and he hesitated long enough to make it clear he wasn’t confident in his own plan. For a moment, he looked like a child: lost and uncertain. His eyes betrayed him the most, filled with a sudden sadness she recognized; it was what she had felt every time she thought about Anderson, about what her life had become since Elysium.

“Let Chellick go and run,” Shepard said. “I know that he helped gather evidence for the trial, but he was just doing his job. This is about you and me, nobody else: not Aria, not Castis, just us. We both know it. Let him go, Nihlus. You’re better than this. No one else has to be collateral…”

“I…I don’t…” Nihlus’ hands shook.

Shepard said nothing more, could barely remember to breathe. She watched Chellick, his panicked eyes moving rapidly from her to the blade at his neck. What followed was not more than a few seconds of hesitation, but it felt like an eternity. Every ounce of Shepard’s being expected Nihlus to slide the blade across Chellick’s neck and let the blood spray from his veins just as it had sprayed from Saren’s when she shot him. There would be no saving him from an injury like that. What would she do? What _could_ she do?

All at once, Chellick was toppling forward over the platform barrier. Nihlus took off down the side of the ladder and darted out of the alley as Chellick hit the ground with a sickening _crunch_. Shepard rushed to his side, for once not preoccupied with hunting Nihlus down; there would be time for that later.

Chellick lay in a heap on the ground, one of his legs bent at an unnatural angle, but otherwise uninjured. A thin blue line of blood remained on his neck, but Nihlus had decided to spare him. When Shepard reached him, she fell to her knees and yanked him against her, all of the emotions she had tempered during her negotiation with Nihlus rushing forth. Chellick gripped her tightly, his whole body shaking.

“Shepard…I thought I was going to die…I thought he was going to kill me…” He gasped.

“Chellick, fuck.” Her eyes were filled with tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry? You saved my fucking life, Shepard.”

“Yeah, but I’m the reason he took you in the first place.”

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. _Spirits_. I can’t believe he didn’t kill me.” He clung to her so tightly it was almost painful. “Fuck, my legs…”

Shepard separated herself from him and examined the damage. Both legs were broken, there was no doubt about that, and medi-gel would not fix the issue: they needed to be set, possibly would require surgical intervention. But he was alive; broken limbs would heal.

“Castis, are you still listening?” She tapped her wire. “We need medical assistance.”

A moment later, her comm-link rang with Garrus on the other end.

“We’re on our way to the coordinates. Are you okay? Is Chellick okay? What happened?”

“We’re both okay. Chellick’s legs are broken, but he’s alive. Nihlus got away.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Garrus said. “All that matters is that the two of you are safe. We’ll be there in five minutes.”

Shepard sat back on her legs and allowed herself a moment to take a deep breath. Chellick was propped up on his elbows with his mandibles pinned tight against his face and his eyes squeezed shut.

“How’s the pain?” She asked.

“Not great.”

“C-Sec will be here soon with medical support. You’ll be okay. God, Chellick…I don’t know what I would have done if he’d gone through with it.”

He laughed dryly. “You’re telling me. I’m surprised I didn’t shit myself up there. If I’m walking out of here with a couple broken legs and nothing else, I can handle the pain for a few more minutes.”

Shepard reached out and squeezed his hand. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Chellick’s fingers curled around hers. “Give yourself a little credit, Shepard. You talked him down. He saw some sort of sense in what you were saying or he would have killed me. He was absolutely going to when they pushed me out on that platform. He told me for the last five hours that he was going to slice my throat open in front of you.”

“I’m sorry they hurt you. Your plates…” She traced a finger delicately over the fracture in his facial plating.

He shrugged. “It’s fine. It hurt, but I’ll live.”

“How did he know about us? How did he know that hurting you would hurt me?”

“Why do you think he had Nyreen? He went after her first. It’s common knowledge that Nyreen is Aria’s lover. He used her to get information on you. She knew about us and she told him as soon as they started hurting her. I can’t say I blame her. If I’d known anything about Aria I would have given it up, but they only asked me about you: where were you living? Who else was helping you? Who was the turian in the warehouse?” Chellick shook his head. “I figured they were going to kill me either way, I wasn’t going to risk your life like that.”

 _Fuck,_ what did she _ever_ do to deserve Chellick?

“Thank you. There’s...there’s nothing I could ever do the repay you for that Chellick. They could have gone after Garrus…they…” She blinked away tears. “Saying ‘you’re a good friend’ doesn’t even cover it.”

Chellick let out a low moan of pain and shifted slightly. “Spirits Shepard, can we just agree we don’t need to tally up favors for each other. You’ve got my back, I’ve got yours, okay? That won’t ever change; no matter what happens.”

She nodded and said nothing, wiping some of the tears from her eyes with the back of her sleeve. A moment later, C-Sec sirens sounded and three cruisers came to a halt at the end of the alley; Garrus was out of the car and running before it even pulled to a halt, with Castis close behind him.

He skidded to a halt and stared at Chellick’s bent legs, mandibles flaring. “ _Spirits_.”

“I’m trying not to look at them,” Chellick said.

“The med team is almost here. They’ll be able to give you some pain medication until they can get you up to Huerta…are you…okay?”

“As okay as I can be, considering.” He palmed his neck where Nihlus’ blade had pressed into it and observed the blue blood smeared across his hand as he withdrew it. “He nicked me, that’s all.”

“You have to press pretty hard with a blade to pierce turian skin.” Shepard pointed out. “A little more than a nick.”

Castis reached them then and stopped to observe Chellick’s injuries. “Chellick. I’m glad you’re all right.”

“Thanks, Castis. Kind of surprised you let Shepard go in alone on this one.” Chellick shifted again, struggling to move his legs into a more comfortable position, though it was futile.

“Based on Nihlus’ ransom note, we had little choice.” A siren blared at the end of the alley as the ambulance arrived; Castis turned his gaze to the ambulance as two asari hopped out and made their way to Chellick with a stretcher.

“What’s the extent of the injuries?” One of the asari asked.

“Is it not obvious that my legs are broken?” Chellick barked. “Or did you think turian legs normally bent at this angle?”

The asari gave him a withering look. “Are internal injuries likely, sir?” She directed her question at Castis, but he only shifted his gaze to Shepard in response.

She blinked slowly. “Oh…uh…well he’s got a crack in his facial plates that needs looked at. Chellick, you should tell them all that Nihlus did to you so they know what to look for. You might be bleeding internally or…”

Chellick groaned. “Fine. Just get me some fucking pain meds!”

“Garrus, help the medics get Chellick into the ambulance please,” Castis said, gesturing to the stretcher.

Garrus opened his mouth to protest, but Castis fixed him with a stern expression that silenced him quickly enough. He brushed his hand against Shepard’s shoulder and then bent down to help the asari lift Chellick onto the stretcher and carry it to the ambulance.

With Garrus and Chellick gone, and the other C-sec officers preparing forensic tools close to the cruisers, Shepard found herself alone in the alley with Castis. For a moment, they stood in front of each other in silence, Shepard shifting her weight uncomfortably.

Castis was the first to break the silence.

“Jane.” His mandibles twitched. “What you did for Chellick…”

“It was just luck,” she said quickly.

“No. It wasn’t _just luck_ . You utilized the skills of a soldier, Jane. You kept your cool, you honed in on Nihlus’ insecurities, you addressed them calmly, drove home the points you knew would play to his fears. _You_ convinced him not to kill Chellick. I have no doubt he had every intention of going through with it before you talked him down.”

Shepard’s cheeks flushed red and she stared at her feet. “I’m not a soldier, Castis. I haven’t been for a long time.”

“You can’t erase years of military training just because you want to pretend it never happened. _Jane._ ” He grabbed her chin, just firmly enough to force her to face him. “I’m incredibly proud of you.”

Her embarrassment turned quickly to something else: a feeling she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Tears welled in her eyes and she looked away as soon as Castis let go of her chin.

“Why?” The word left her mouth in barely more than a whisper.

“Because you did good.” Castis’s subharmonics trembled. “You like to pretend you’re someone else, but I know deep down you’re still the same woman I met in that hospital room all those years ago. I understand you did what you felt you needed to do to survive in the wards, Jane, but the skills you possess…you could be such a valuable asset to C-Sec. You could do so much, but you run away at the slightest hint of responsibility. I have men who’ve been working C-Sec for fifteen years who couldn’t talk down a criminal like Nihlus the way you did.”

“So what?” She met his gaze, if only briefly. “I can’t join C-Sec with my record even if I wanted to. What the fuck is your point, Castis?”

He took a deep breath and pinned his mandibles against his face and for a moment, she felt like a scolded child. It was the same look he had always given her when he was getting frustrated with her.

“My point is that sooner or later, your story with Nihlus will come to an end. You need to think about what you’re going to do with yourself when that happens. You can keep scraping credits together from bounties to make ends meet, or you could finally face reality.”

“And what? Get a desk job? Hire myself out as a security guard? I mean, really, Castis, what can I do with my record and…”

“Fuck your record, Jane!” Castis barked.

It was the first time she had ever heard him swear in the entire time she’d known him; he hadn’t even cursed when he’d found her covered in Garrus’ blood in the warehouse. All she could do was stare at him in stunned silence.

Perhaps recognizing his uncharacteristic outburst, he adjusted his posture and ran a hand down the front of his armor. “I’m the executor of C-Sec. A recommendation from me trumps a record of petty arrests. If you decide you want to grow up sometime in the near future, then I’ll help you. What’s the human phrase?” He flicked his mandibles. “I’m extending an olive branch. But the offer has an expiration date, Jane. I can’t wait forever for you to shape up.”

“I can’t just forget about Nihlus.”

“No. I wouldn’t expect you to. Not after the last five years. But what if you don’t catch him? What if we get him first? What if he gets away? Will this go on forever?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Consider my offer, Jane. I can only give you so much time.”

He squeezed her shoulder as he walked away to rejoin the other C-Sec officers. With Chellick safely in the ambulance, Garrus returned to her side, glancing sideways at his father as he passed him.

“What did you two talk about?” He asked.

Shepard shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you later.”

“You did an amazing job today, Shepard. You saved Chellick’s life.”

“Yeah.” She was suddenly, overwhelmingly exhausted. “Can we go back to your place? I just want to rest.”

His mandibles flicked into a soft smile. “Of course.”

As they left the alley and made their way back to District 42, Shepard considered Castis’ offer, and his praise; she considered the sudden and unexpected humanity she’d seen in Nihlus’ eyes as she negotiated for Chellick’s life; and she considered all of the decisions she’d made over the past five years that had led her to this point.

Maybe Castis was right. Maybe she needed to move on. Maybe Nihlus was already suffering enough living the life Saren had steered him towards, the life he had left him in after his death. How could she find humanity in someone who had hurt her so tremendously, after so long?

She wasn’t sure she could just give up the ghost that easily after it had consumed her life for so long, wasn’t positive she could leave bounty hunting behind and work a comparably normal job; all she knew was that for the past five years, there had never been a doubt in her mind that going after Nihlus was the right path, whatever it took.

And now, for the first time ever, she felt conflicted.

* * *

 

**[Playlist link](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't want to leave you hanging for an entire week after the cliffhanger on the last chapter so here's another update! 
> 
> To be completely honest, up until about halfway through writing this fic, I had every intention of killing Chellick in this chapter. It was going to be incredibly sad and heartbreaking and I had the whole thing planned out, but I realized 1) I've grown way too attached to him, 2) it felt too much like fridging him, and 3) (and probably most importantly) it actually served the plot better this way. Based on everyone's comments on this fic, I'm assuming I would have made a lot of you preeettty angry if I'd killed him off too. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks as always to everyone who's been reading and commenting. I appreciate you all so stinkin much! More soon!


	24. Mending Fences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains sexual content
> 
> Also this chapter is dedicated to Garrus_Vakarian_N7 who, I think, will appreciate one scene in particular.

**2183**  
**Bachjret Ward – District 42**  
**September 13th**

When Shepard had gone to bargain for Chellick’s life, Garrus had not been very optimistic that the captain would return home in anything but a body bag. It wasn’t to say he doubted Shepard’s abilities - he knew that if anyone could hold Nihlus’ attention long enough to stay his hand it was her – but Nihlus was a ticking timebomb, and he had nothing to lose by killing Chellick. That Shepard had walked away unscathed and Chellick had come out alive at all had come as a complete shock.

In the hours and days after the encounter, Shepard stayed quiet, not voicing her feelings on all that had transpired. Garrus let her ride out the emotions, offered to talk when she was ready, but by then he had learned not to push her past her boundaries: she would tell him how she was feeling on her own time.

There was a small part of him that felt some amount of jealousy; he trusted Shepard and believed her when she said that she didn’t return Chellick’s feelings, but there was obvious love between them, even if it was platonic on Shepard’s part. He wasn’t worried about infidelity; his jealousy came from the fact that Chellick knew so much about Shepard that he could never really know; he had been such an intimate part of her past, much as Garrus’ father had. He wished he could have been in her life far sooner; an impossible and pointless dream. What did it matter? He was in her life now. He loved her and she loved him. He would have to come to terms with the fact that it would take time to know all there was to know about her, and even then, it wouldn’t be everything.

Shepard spent the first night after the encounter with Nihlus at Garrus’ apartment, but for the past few days she had spent most of her time in her own home: an apartment she had finally allowed Garrus to see. He hadn’t exactly been expecting a mansion, but the deteriorating, barely habitable tenement she lived in was as unexpected.

He’d stayed one night, struggling to get comfortable in the small shared space of her bed in a room she shared with Jack. One night was enough to last a lifetime, so, for the first time in several weeks, he spent a few nights apart from Shepard while she spent some necessary time with the bounty hunters she called her family.

He felt foolish when he brought his omni-tool up to message her the same day he returned home, but was quickly consoled when he received a message from her first.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:26]: Maybe gag me or something but I already miss you. Is that fucking disgusting or what?_

_G_Vakarian[Private-Terminal -Bachjret-D42][2183.09.13][20:26]: I’m not saying I was typing a message to you AS you messaged me but…_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:27]:Gross. Someone should put us out of our misery_

_G_Vakarian[Private-Terminal -Bachjret-D42][2183.09.13][20:27]: I think Jack would do it if you told her about it_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:27]: Oh definitely. By the way I’ve gotten way too spoiled staying at your place. Sharing this room with Jack is a fucking nightmare._

Garrus hesitated before he typed the next message. Everything about his relationship with Shepard had been so unconventional, so sudden. He’d never expected to find her attractive in the first place, then he’d never expected to fall in love with her as hard and as fast as he did. Was it impulsive to say what he was thinking? Did it matter anyway?

And what the hell would his dad say?

_G_Vakarian[Private-Terminal -Bachjret-D42][2183.09.13][20:30]: So maybe you should move out_

His heart was suddenly in his throat, but the message was out there now and he couldn’t retract it. It only took Shepard a minute to reply, but it was the longest minute Garrus had ever experienced.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:31]: Good one. Is there some dream apartment in Bachjret that I can afford on piecemeal bounty wages that I don’t know about?_

_G_Vakarian[Private-Terminal -Bachjret-D42][2183.09.13][20:31]: Well you’d have a roommate. But he’s a nice guy. And_ very _good looking._

He was genuinely crazy, wasn’t he? There were women he’d dated for over a year and never lived with. What the _hell_ was he thinking?

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:32]: Oh is Chellick looking for a roommate?_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:32]: ;-)[_

_G_Vakarian[Private-Terminal -Bachjret-D42][2183.09.13][20:33]: A career in comedy might not be for you Shepard_

For several minutes, she didn’t respond and then he was genuinely concerned he’d gone too far. It wasn’t as though she’d break up with him over something like this, but the discomfort that would follow such a rejection wasn’t exactly something he was looking forward to. Sure, she had every right to turn him down; they’d barely been together for a few months, the entire idea was ludicrous.

And yet they had been on the same page for so much of those few months together. The idea that they might not now almost hurt.

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:38]: Kind of a complicated discussion for the extranet._

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:38]: But I think we should talk about it_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:38]: And about Nihlus_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:38]: And your dad_

_SHEP0378[Private-Terminal-RESTRICTED][2183.09.13][20:38]: I’ll come over_

So Garrus waited.

And waited.

And waited.

It couldn’t have been more than forty minutes between when Shepard sent her last message and when she arrived at his door. Still, every second seemed to expand around him as he set about needlessly tidying up the already pristine apartment. He moved from cleaning, to staring at himself in the mirror, to cleaning, back and forth. When he saw his scars in his reflection, he didn’t think about Nihlus, or the rocket launcher that had blown his face apart, he only thought about Shepard, about how the scars were a sign of his love and his loyalty.

Why was he worried about whether or not she would want to move in with him? He’d taken a rocket for her, she would have risked her life for him. The progression of their relationship would never be marked by standard milestones.

So he allowed himself to relax for a moment on the couch until the door came open and Shepard stepped inside.

“So, you ask all your girlfriends to move in with you through the extranet?” She greeted him.

“Shepard, I…”

“Garrus, wait.” She sat down next to him and held her hand up. “Before we talk about that, I need to tell you something.”

He flicked his mandibles and shifted to face her. “Anything, Shepard.”

“When you were helping Chellick into the ambulance the other day, your dad…he offered me a job. Sort of. Basically he said it was time for me to give up bounty hunting and start using my skills for a real purpose.”

Garrus snorted and clenched his fist. “He has no right to butt in like that. He doesn’t know about your code or the kinds of people you help put away or…”

“ _Garrus_ .” She placed her hand on his chest. “It’s okay. I love going after bounties, I do. I feel like I _have_ made a difference…to some extent. I mean, I’ve at least help put away some pretty terrible people, but then you look at Bachjret and it’s all the same as it was five years ago. I’ve never _really_ felt like meaningful change was happening.”

“But your work is the reason Chellick was able to find leads to Nihlus. You…” He couldn’t articulate quite why he was feeling so frustrated; maybe some of it was his typical kneejerk reaction to oppose anything his father suggested.

“I do good work as a bounty hunter.” Shepard said. “I’ve done my best work with you. But it’s not sustainable. I’ve never thought about what life after Nihlus would be. The other day, in the alley…I saw something…something in Nihlus that I never imagined I would. I still want my revenge. I still want him to suffer for what he did to me, but…I have to start thinking about what happens after that. I don’t want to become him, Garrus. I don’t want to be so consumed by my anger and sadness that I forget how to be me.”

He grabbed the sides of her face and kissed her forehead. “You would never.”

“But I could. These past few days I’ve thought a lot about what my life would have been like if I’d just let your dad help me after the trial. I’m happy that the last five years brought me together with the other bounty hunters, and I’m happy that it brought me Chellick, and I’m most happy that it brought us together. But I think if I could go back and change what I did…I’m starting to realize how much I’ve let my grief and my anger consume me.” Her eyes glistened as she looked up at him. “I don’t want to be like Nihlus.”

“What can I do to help you, Shepard?”

She smiled and brushed her hand against his scarred mandible. “Nothing more than you’re already doing, Garrus. This is a decision I have to make on my own. I’m so glad that I have you, but…I’m the only one who can decide my future now.”

“Then I’ll support you. Whatever you decide. I love you, Shepard.”

She nodded and kissed him so softly he barely felt it.

“I spent a little time with Tali and Thane and the others going over some ideas for how to track down Nihlus.” She wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and began with a new line of thought. “Tali’s got her usual channels sweeping for clues. I always thought once I got the chance, I’d torture him and kill him, but now…” She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I can decide what to do when we find him.”

Garrus had heard the conversation Shepard had with Nihlus through the wire she wore as she spoke, but he couldn’t pretend to fully understand the sudden conflict on her face when she talked about him. He had shown mercy to Chellick, that much was true, but the images of what Nihlus had done to Shepard kept replaying in Garrus’ mind. Wasn’t it unforgivable?

The fact of the matter was, it wasn’t his trauma to forgive. It was clear that what Shepard needed now, more than ever, was someone to support her. She was right: she needed to make her own decisions; he couldn’t make them for her.

“Just keep me posted,” Garrus said. “I’ll be ready to take him on with you.”

“Until we get this sorted out, it’s kind of necessary for me to spend some of my time at my apartment with my family. But when it’s over…”

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I was just being impulsive, I…”

“Garrus,” Shepard interrupted. “A relationship goes both ways, okay? I want to be there for you the way you’ve been there for me.”

“You spent a month nursing me back to health after this happened.” He gestured to his scars. “I don’t think anyone can make the argument that you haven’t been there for me.”

“When this is over,” she continued her thought, “why don’t we see what it’s like being there for each other outside of mending battle wounds and buffering emotional trauma? I want to live with you, Garrus, but I think we should take that step once we’ve had a relationship outside of Nihlus’ shadow. Okay?”

It wasn’t a rejection at all, though he’d been bracing himself for it. It was the most logical response she could have given.

“Of course.”

“Good.”

Her omni-tool pinged a moment later and she glanced down. “There’s no way that’s Tali already…oh. It’s not.” She laughed then. “Chellick says we need to get down to the station. They’re throwing a ‘Congrats on not being dead’ party. His message says to ‘bring booze’.”

“At the station? Does my dad know about this?”

“I doubt it, so let’s not tell him.”

“Are we really going?” Garrus stood up.

“Come on, Mr. Bad-boy Vigilante. What happened to my favorite rule-breaker?” She grabbed him by the front of his cowl and nipped at the edge of his mandible.

“Oh.” His eyelids fluttered. “ _I_ can break some rules.”

“Well then let’s go pick up some booze and get drunk at the C-Sec station!”

She brushed past him toward the door and he hurried to follow, allowing his eyes to linger for perhaps a moment too long on her backside as she walked ahead of him.

After all the other rules he’d broken, what harm was a few drinks at the office?

* * *

Considering that Castis was still overseeing the District 42 C-Sec station, and considering that commander Aiala was known to drop in from time to time, Shepard expected the ‘party’ Chellick had messaged her about to be a handful of officers in the break room with some alcohol. What she had not expected was the sight of several officers, all of Shepard’s roommates, and Solana and her girlfriend, all crowded into the lobby, music blasting from small stereo in the corner, a table filled with drinks and food.

Chellick was near the front desk in a wheelchair, both legs in casts, a drink in one hand while he gestured wildly with the other. He was talking to Alenko and Tali, who looked less enthused about the conversation than he was.

“Shepard! Garrus!” He yelled loudly when he noticed them. Alenko and Tali exchanged a glance and took the opportunity to get away.

“I brought your favorite beer.” She held up the six pack she and Garrus had brought along. “But it seems like maybe you don’t need it.”

“What’re you talking about? I’m fine!” He gulped down the rest of his drink and yanked the six pack from her hand. “I invited your friends. Figured if nothing else, Wrex might liven the place up.”

In fact, Wrex was in the corner regaling several of the officers with some ridiculous –and likely fabricated – story of a bounty run.

“Er…does my dad know about this party, Chellick?” Garrus asked.

“Who cares?” Chellick’s tongue unfurled from his mouth, a rude gesture amongst turians and an approximation of blowing a dismissive raspberry. “Castis needs to pull the pole out of his ass.”

“You’re not worried he’ll walk in and see this and punish the whole station? Fire you?” Shepard folded her arms across her chest.

“After my run-in with Nihlus I don’t give a fuck if Castis wants to fire me.”

“Chellick.” Shepard frowned.

“Oh, calm down.” He rolled his eyes. “He’s not going to fire me. He’s up on the Presidium at some meeting anyway and I think I deserve a pass, don’t I?”

“I think you probably shouldn’t be drinking this much while trying to steer yourself around the room in a wheelchair, but you’ve done stupider things in your life. I’ll come check on you in an hour and see if you’re still singing a happy tune, hm?” Shepard patted his shoulder.

She and Garrus made their way across the room to where Solana was now having an animated discussion with Tali and Alenko.

“Hey, long time no see.” Solana surprised Shepard with a warm embrace. “I was just telling your friends how _wrong_ they are about the newest omni-tool model. The operating system is so slow. Tell them, Gar.” She smacked her brother on the shoulder.

Garrus snorted. “I’m not getting into an argument about omni-tools with Alenko or Tali. I’ll lose.”

“I’m still using a Bluewire 3.0 so I don’t feel like I’m qualified to participate in this conversation.” Shepard laughed.

“A _Bluewire_?” Solana and Alenko scoffed at the same time.

Tali threw her hands in the air. “I know. I keep telling her it’s worth spending a little extra money for a Nexus, but no. She won’t…”

“If she’s gonna spend the money then she should get a Logic Arrest,” Alenko argued.

“Oh, do you want to have this fight again?” Tali folded her arms. “Because I think I’ve already shown you a detailed presentation on why the Nexus out-powers the Logic Arrest ten to one.”

“I’ll have this fight any time, day or night,” Alenko retorted.

“Is this what you two fight about? Really?” Shepard raised her eyebrows.

Tali giggled. “I love to bring it up because I know it pushes his buttons. Also he’s kind of cute when he’s arguing about it.”

“Yeah, so how does _that_ work anyway?” Solana gestured to Tali and Alenko. “Won’t you like…die if you try to have sex? I mean, to each their own, right? But _Spirits,_ if I couldn’t have sex…”

Garrus let out a long groan and pressed his hands against the side of his head to cover his aural canals. “I’m not listening to this. My baby sister is _not_ talking about sex in front of me.”

“Oh grow up, Garrus. I’ve been fucking longer than you have.”

“Excuse me?”

“Garrus was a late bloomer,” Solana said, as an aside to Shepard.

“Aw, how old were you, Garrus?”

A blue hue was creeping up Garrus’ neck; the sight of it made Shepard grin. Sometimes it was too fun to pick on Garrus, and she’d never done it with his sister, who must have had a million more secrets up her sleeve.

“Weren’t we talking about the logistics of Tali and Alenko’s relationship?” He asked.

“No, go on, Vakarian.” Alenko nodded.

“We’re not talking about this.”

“ _Most_ turians have their first sexual experience when they go away for military boot camp at fifteen,” Solana explained. “It’s pretty common: you throw a bunch of teenagers who’ve never lived away from home together in shared living spaces…that’s pretty par for the course. Garrus was too shy around girls, though.”

“ _Spirits_ , Solana, really? Why does it matter?”

“Do you want to know how old I was, Garrus? Will that make you feel better?” Shepard asked, still grinning.

“You’re enjoying this too!” He pointed an accusatory finger at her. “I don’t care how old you were! It doesn’t matter.” His neck was bright blue now.

Solana sighed. “If you really don’t want me to tell them…”

Garrus flicked his mandibles and his subvocals buzzed. “It’s not like I can stop you.”

“Anyway, Garrus was shy around girls and it kept not happening and not happening. He didn’t finally get laid until he was twenty-two.”

“That’s not so bad,” Shepard offered.

“Thanks for the pity, Shepard. It’s _ancient_ among turians.”

She shrugged. “Well, I don’t have any complaints, so you obviously learned a thing or two between now and then.”

It was Solana’s turn to groan. “Okay. I regret bringing this up. I’m walking away now.”

“I can tell you more!” Shepard called as she rushed away from the conversation. This, at least, finally elicited a laugh from Garrus. She nudged him with her shoulder and he nudged her back, the two of them grinning at each other.

“Gag me. You two are disgusting!” Jack’s greeting to the two of them as she moved past them to where Lawson was listening to Wrex’s stories.

“So…you think the executor will be mad about this party?” Alenko asked.

Garrus shrugged. “Too late now. You know…not to be rude, but I really am curious how the two of you…er…”

Tali’s eye roll was just visible through the tint of her helmet. Alenko shifted from one foot to the other and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Er…”

“I’ll fill you in on the details, Garrus. Remember, I’ve been with a quarian.” Shepard grinned. “Anyway, I think it’s time to get some alcohol in our systems. You want something?”

“A beer is fine. What you brought Chellick.”

Tali leaned over and squeezed Alenko’s arm, whispering something to him briefly before excusing herself from the conversation and disappearing down the hallway. Alenko’s face flushed red.

“She, uh…thinks there might be a tear in her suit. I’m…going to go help her check it.”

“Oh, very subtle.” Shepard nodded, but Alenko was gone before he could hear it. “All right.” She turned to Garrus and patted his shoulder. “I’ll go get the drinks.”

“I might go talk to Jacob and Zaeed. They’re talking to Targus…I’m willing to bet it’s about weapons. He’s kind of into weapon upgrades and I know you mentioned Jacob was as well…” He seemed unsure of himself even as he spoke.

“Go on, Garrus. Mingle! My friends like you, they want to get to know you. I think you and Jacob would hit it off. I’ll grab our drinks and see how Chellick is doing.”

He nodded and she left him, crossing the room to the drink table, where Chellick had wheeled himself. He sat still, examining the drink options, though Shepard had a feeling he had purposefully separated himself from the rest of the party. She sidled up against him and squeezed his arm.

“Having a hard time deciding?”

His mandibles twitched and he shrugged. “I’ll probably just stick to the beer.”

“You okay, Chellick?”

“No.” He laughed humorlessly. “I keep thinking about that moment on the ledge…with the omni-blade pressed to my neck. I just kept thinking… ‘I’m going to die up here. He’s going to kill me’. And what have I accomplished, you know? What have I done?”

“You’re fucking with me, right?” Shepard stared at him.

“I’m being serious, Shepard. I mean, where is my life going? What have I really contributed to anything?”

“Chellick. You found the data that convicted Nihlus. You’re the only reason I saw the slightest semblance of justice. Are you kidding me? How is that not an important contribution? Do you know how many more people he could have hurt if you’d never turned up that evidence? Forget that. You’re a C-sec captain. That’s not too shabby for thirty-seven.”

“Thirty-six, dammit, Shepard.”

She grinned at him and was pleased when his mandible flicked into a reciprocal grin.

“You’re such a bitch.”

“Yeah, I know, but you love me anyway.”

“Yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “I’ve done good in my professional life, sure. But where’s my personal life, you know? I mean…I’m not getting any younger. Sooner or later I’m going to have to get over you. Then what? I think, maybe I should find someone to settle down with, adopt some kids or something, but what if I turn out like my dad?”

“You would never be that kind of person, Chellick. You’re a good guy.”

He glanced up at her. “You really think that?”

“Of course I do.”

“I’m glad you’re happy with Garrus, Shepard. I may hate it and I may feel like a jealous asshole at least…hm…sixty percent of the time I have to see you two together, but I’m glad you’re happy. I just want to find someone I can be happy with.”

“Well,” Shepard turned her gaze across the room to where Thane was talking to Williams. “You ever considered somebody you know and trust and not just some human you meet at a bar?”

“You’re the only person I really trust.” Chellick shrugged.

“That’s not true. You trust Garrus. You trust your officers. They’ve gotten you out of tough spots.”

“I’ve got a rule against that, though. Besides, who would it be? Lawson wouldn’t be interested and honestly, the sex would probably be great, but beyond that I don’t think we have a lot in common.”

“I was thinking more like Williams.” She watched his reaction out of the corner of her eye. “She’s pretty. And kind of bossy, which I know you’re into.”

“Williams?” Chellick cocked his head. “You really think so?”

“I think there are ways you could go about it without it being too awkward, yeah.”

“I don’t know if she’s really into turians…”

“It’s just a suggestion.”

Chellick scratched his chin and watched Williams for a moment. “Yeah, maybe. I guess I can think about it anyway. Thanks for trying at least, Shepard. And, you know, for saving my life too. I guess this party’s kind of for you too.”

She turned to face him. “You know I’ve always got your back.”

“Yeah.”

“Look, don’t tell this to Tali or Thane, cause they’d be really upset, but…” She brushed her fingers against the top of his hand where it rested on the arm of his wheelchair. “You’re my best friend, Chellick. I’ve known you longer than any of the people I live with, longer than anyone still in my life. You’ve always been there for me. I’m realizing that more and more.”

“Well, you’re my only friend, so you’re my best friend by default.” He laughed, but then his face grew more serious. “Really, though, Shepard. Sometimes you’re such a pain in the ass I wish I could strangle you, but…I’m really glad we ended up in each other’s lives. And I’m glad you didn’t avoid me once you found out how I felt. I…your friendship means more to me than anything else between us.”

She stared at her feet, unsure of what to say.

“Fuck, Chellick, don’t get too sappy. You’ll make me cry.”

“Jane Shepard? Cry? Hm, no, I heard she doesn’t even have tear ducts.”

Both of them laughed then and whatever tension had existed between them through the last few weeks and months, it seemed to vanish. She patted his shoulder once more and grabbed two drinks from the table.

“Have fun at your party, Chellick. Don’t spend all night hugging the drink table, okay?”

“Yeah, all right.” He waved her off. “Go bring your boyfriend his drink. If he keeps looking over here, he’s gonna strain his neck. He might trust you, but I’m not positive he trusts me; I think he’s suspicious.”

“Try not to get too drunk!”

Shepard left Chellick by the drink table and rejoined Garrus. He had been talking to Jacob and Zaeed, but now he was standing alone against the wall. She handed him his beer and leaned next to him.

“Have a nice chat with Chellick?” He asked, subharmonics vibrating at a frequency she was extremely familiar with.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you sounded a little jealous just now, Garrus.”

“What?” His mandibles twitched. “I’m not jealous. I trust you.”

“You can trust me and still be jealous.”

His shoulders slumped. “Maybe I’m a little jealous. Chellick’s just known you so long. There’s so much he knows about you that will take me forever to learn. And it’s not that I’m not excited to learn more about you and to reach that point, but it won’t ever be the same will it? Because I wasn’t there for the same moments Chellick was. I’m not…obviously our relationship is different. I just…I guess I wish I could have been there for you when you were going through such a terrible time.”

“That’s sweet,” she pecked his cheek, “but you’re here for me now. That’s all that matters. I wish I’d had a family back then or…anyone at first. But…your dad is the reason I recovered at all. If he hadn’t cared...” She recognized that her relationship with Castis was on the mend, but thinking about all she had wrought, and five years ruined between them, still hurt. “I wasn’t alone anyway.”

He traced a finger gently against her cheek, his subharmonics humming. For a moment they were silent, the noises of the party surrounding them, blurring into one sound, though Wrex’s characteristic deep bellow broke through occasionally. It was nice to be in that moment with Garrus, even if it was only a small moment.

After a few seconds of comfortable silence between them, she grabbed his hand and tugged gently. “Follow me.”

“What?” His brow plates shifted. “Follow you where?”

“Somewhere a little more private.”

“I’m pretty sure Tali and Alenko are in the back office.”

“We’re not going to the back office.” She tugged him along out of the din of the party to the very front of the lobby where the doors to the two main interrogation rooms could be found.

They slipped inside one of the rooms and Shepard spent a moment locking the door and deactivating the security cameras before she took a seat in the interrogation chair.

“Er…Shepard?” Garrus checked his hip to one side and scratched the back of his head.

“Do you really not know what the plan is here, big guy?” She raised her eyebrows.

“The interrogation room, though?”

“Yeah. You can be the C-Sec agent, and I’ll be the criminal you brought in. Come rough me up, officer. Tell me how bad I’ve been.” She made her voice slightly huskier as she said this last part, knowing that, if nothing else, Garrus had learned to read her tone of voice fairly well.

“Oh...uh...heh.” He moved in front of the interrogation chair. “I see. Roleplaying.”

“Yeah, but it’s less fun when you narrate it.” She tweaked his mandible.

He leaned over her, clamping his hands down on her arms not unlike the cuffs built into the arms of the chair. For a moment, he fixed her with a sultry look, but it quickly turned to concern, his brow plates shifting.

“Something wrong, big guy?”

“You, uh, haven’t done this with Chellick before have you?”

Shepard laughed. “No. Chellick’s the one who likes to take orders. He’d never go for that routine.”

The concern on Garrus’ face melted away. “I just didn’t want to think…”

“I get it. Now come on, _officer_. I’ve been bad. Aren’t you going to punish me?”

“Oh...right.” His subharmonics rumbled and he tightened his grip on her arms. “You’ve been _very_ bad. So bad I don’t even know where to start. C-Sec has a protocol for criminals like you.”

“I’d like to see you try to break me.” She squirmed beneath his grip.

She was pleased he was playing along; they’d tried roleplaying only once before and he’d stumbled over the acting, constantly breaking the mood with questions while she coached him through it. She hoped this time would go better.

“You’re going to sit still and behave or you’ll see what I can do.” He let go of her and took a step back, observing her for a moment before fiddling with his omni-tool. The cuffs on the chair swung around, hooking over her forearms; she let out a gasp of surprise and grinned at him.

“Don’t I get to touch you, officer?”

“No. Only I get to touch.” He grabbed her hips and tugged at the buttons on her pants. “I’m going to show you what we do to criminals who wind up in my station.” She arched her back, helping him as he yanked the pants down her legs and tossed them to side. “Hm, never brought a bounty hunter in with quite such dainty underwear.” He traced a single talon down the center of her pelvis, brushing lightly between her legs before withdrawing his hand completely.

She groaned and shifted, the cuffs biting into the skin of her arms.

“It’s very expensive underwear,” she told him. “I’d be pretty angry if you ripped it.”

Kneeling between her legs, he hooked his talon on the edge of her hip, snagging it beneath the fabric of her underwear. He tugged experimentally and then stopped, looking up at her and clearing his throat. “...I’m supposed to rip it, right?” He whispered.

She couldn’t suppress the laugh that burst from her throat. “Yes.”

“Well, I just know how you are about your bras. They’re expensive…”

“ _Officer._ ”

“Oh, er, right.” He yanked against the fabric, shearing it with ease and ripping it away to join her pants on the floor.

Underwear discarded, he placed his palms on top of her thighs and spread them apart.

“Oh! Officer! I don’t care what you do. I’ll never tell you where I got my info!” She felt giddy playing with him like this, momentarily forgetting any other concerns and allowing herself to let loose and have some fun.

“Hm.” His voice rumbled deep within his chest. “I have ways of making you talk.”

“Do your worst!”

At that, he dipped his head down and nipped at the inside of her thigh. She squirmed in an effort to get closer to him, suddenly desperate to have his mouth between her legs. Slowly, painstakingly, he shifted his head to the other side and nipped at her other thigh. The only sound she could manage was a long, impatient groan.

“Is there something you want?” He looked up at her with those bright blue eyes of his and she was struck by just how beautiful and comforting they were. For a moment, she forgot about their roleplay, overwhelmed with a desire to touch him and hold him, but constrained by the cuffs around her arms.

The moment passed when his tongue slid between her legs and began to move in slow circles around her clit. She let out a soft, short gasp and rolled her hips to meet his tongue.

“ _Garrus_.”

His subharmonics hummed, vibrating up through his lips and against her. He slid a finger inside of her while his tongue moved and she strained against the cuffs, desperate to grip his fringe and run her fingers along the grooves of it.

“I want to touch you,” she finally groaned. “ _Garrus_.”

Without acknowledging her, he slid a second finger inside of her and her breath hitched. His tongue moved faster, fingers moving in and out of her quicker and quicker. The heat between her legs was spreading up through her whole body; her face felt flushed and her heart was pounding in her ears. She was so close to the edge...so close…

Suddenly Garrus pulled away from her and stood up. The denial of her release made an unbidden sound of frustration escape her throat.

“What the hell?”

“Didn’t I tell you I’d show you what we do to prisoners in my station?” He raised his brow plates with a smirk.

“Okay, I’m done roleplaying. You can’t just nearly get me off and then stop! Fuck, Garrus!”

“We’re not done.”

She sat still and watched him as he began unbuttoning his pants and slid them down his legs to crumple around his leg spurs. He was already out of his sheath; he pumped one hand up and down the length of his erection with his eyes glued to Shepard.

“Garrus, I swear to God if you don’t let me out of this chair.”

“Impatient as always.” He released himself and tapped on his omni-tool. A moment later, the cuffs swung open.

Shepard rubbed her arms where the cuffs had dug into her flesh while Garrus’ head had been between her legs, then she swung herself out of the interrogation chair to bridge the gap between them, bringing her hand against him until a soft little moan escaped his throat.

“Okay, Vakarian. What are you going to do with me now?” She asked as she nipped the rough skin of his throat.

He gripped her hips. “Go over to the chair and lean over it.”

“ _Yes officer_.”

She was more than a little pleased by the lusty growl that left his throat.

Crossing back to the chair, she leaned over the arm and reached across to grip the opposite arm; it was a position she’d assumed with Chellick _many_ times before, but there was more of a thrill to it with Garrus.

“I’m ready for you, officer Vakarian,” she said, shifting her hips for added effect.

He moved behind her, one hand gripping her hip while he held himself with the other. The slick heat of his erection rubbed up and down the slit between her legs a few times and she groaned.

“I’m getting a little impatient here, Garrus.”

“You? Never.” He chuckled.

“ _Garrus_.”

“All right. I’m getting a little impatient too.” With that, he slid inside of her, snapping his hips against her bottom and holding himself there.

His hand circled around her hip and slid between her legs, the rough pad of his finger rolling in slow circles against her clit as his hips began to move against her. His thrusts were slow and concentrated at first: purposeful and almost painstaking as she slid nearly all the way out of her and shuddered back in. Then his speed increased, the movement of his finger increasing to match.

“Oh God, Garrus…” she huffed. “Fuck, I love you. You feel so good.”

He pressed his chest flat against her back and grunted against her ear. “ _Shepard_.” But even in the heat of the moment she could hear the melodic hum of his subvocals vibrating against her back; a constant reminder of what she meant to him.

“Harder,” she begged and he complied, rolling his hips against her bottom at a nearly punishing pace as little gasps of effort left his mouth.

She was gasping too, not entirely of her own accord, her body rocking into the chair with each thrust of Garrus’ hips. His finger was moving clumsily against her now, but it was still serving its intended purpose. The feeling hit her hard and fast, white-hot pleasure bursting behind her eyes, radiating through her body as her muscles pulsed against his; it was his undoing.

His pace faltered as he moaned into the back of her neck, spilling himself inside of her and falling still against her. She breathed heavily beneath him, covered in a thin sheen of sweat that left her shirt clinging tightly to her body.

“Oh fuck,” she gasped. “God damn you, Garrus Vakarian.”

He laughed weakly and kissed the nape of her neck. “That good huh?”

“Always.”

They took a moment to catch their breath, then they cleaned up and sidled back into their clothes, Shepard’s ruined underwear tossed into the trash. Unlocking the door, they slipped out of the interrogation room hoping to make a seamless transition back into the party. Instead, they were greeted to Castis, of all people, seated at the front desk examining his omni-tool. He looked up at the sound of the door opening and his mandibles pinched against his face.

“Oh. Uh…” Garrus’ mandibles flared in embarrassment. “Dad, we uh…”

Castis held up his hand. “Spare me. I’ve spent 30 years with C-sec, son, I think I can put the puzzle pieces together.”

Shepard’s face grew warm and she stared at her feet. It felt remarkably like the time her own father had walked in on her and her boyfriend when she was sixteen; the memory felt like another lifetime.

“Kind of surprised you haven’t busted up the party,” she said in an effort to start a conversation that took their thoughts off of what she and Garrus had just been doing in the interrogation room.

To her surprise, Castis laughed. “I think I’ll let Chellick have this one. The department could use a little fun. They’ve all been running themselves ragged with this case. If I didn’t need his knowledge of the case, I’d even sideline Chellick for the time being. He shouldn’t be back in the field after the crisis situation he just came out of, but for now a party will have to do.” His eyes flitted to the front door and then he added, “As long as commander Aiala doesn’t find out.”

Shepard didn’t really blame Castis for his concern about the commander, even if he did outrank her, nor did she blame him for his concern about Chellick. He was right; Chellick should have been on desk duty while he recovered from being kidnapped and tortured by Nihlus. As it was, with two broken legs, he wouldn’t be seeing any field time even if he was still working the case.

“Well, uh...I guess we’ll get back to the party then.” Garrus began to shuffle away from the front desk.

“I’d like to speak with Jane for a moment. Alone, if you don’t mind, Garrus.”

Shepard and Garrus exchanged a glance; she nodded and squeezed his arm. “Go on. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Reluctantly, Garrus left them alone at the front of the lobby.

Shepard folded her arms and stood in front of the desk. “I’m assuming you’re going to pester me about what we talked about after the whole Chellick situation.”

“Have you given it any consideration?”

“I’m still thinking about it. I told Garrus about it today.”

Castis rolled his eyes. “I’m sure he was thrilled.”

“He was mad that you butted in, but I told him it was ok. It’s my decision to make. Castis,” she sat on the edge of the desk facing him and stared at her hands, “when I was standing in that alley negotiating for Chellick’s life...I saw something in Nihlus that I’ve never seen. He’s hurting. He’s doubting himself. It’s why he let Chellick go. I can never forgive him for what he did to me, but suddenly he’s not... _I’m_ not sure of what to do.”

He patted her knee. “Oh, Jane. You’ve always had a black and white mentality about this. Now you’re starting to see the reality of the situation is that most things happen in shades of grey. You can still hate him for what he did and recognize that there’s more to him than the pure evil you thought.”

Suddenly, to her chagrin, tears were streaming down her cheeks.

“Jane?” Castis cocked his head.

“I’m sorry.” She wiped her face. “I don’t know how I got by without you, Castis. You’re always such a voice of reason. I missed you so much.”

He sighed and stood up, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. She gripped his shoulder and cried harder.

“I love you, Castis.” She gasped.

He patted her back. “I love you too, Jane. That’s the thing about your family. You love them even when they hurt you and do things you disagree with.”

“I never should have said those things to you after the trial. I wish I could go back and undo all of it. I wish I could just…”

Castis took a step back and squeezed her shoulder. “You can’t. All that matters is that you’re trying now.” He wiped her cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry that I said you weren’t good enough for Garrus. I want my son to be happy, and with you, he’s happier than I’ve ever seen him. We’ll fix this. I want you to think about my offer.”

She nodded. “I am.”

He cleared his throat. “I found something in my desk a few weeks ago and I think it’s time it returned to its rightful owner.” He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.

Shepard stared at the box for several seconds. “...what?”

Without a word, he opened it, revealing a small shimmering medal within. It was the purple heart admiral Hackett had given to her all those years ago as he’d dismissed her from service; the same medal she’d dumped in the trash in her anger and frustration over the situation. Fresh tears welled in her eyes.

“Castis...when…?”

“I saw it in the trash when I was visiting you. I know how impulsive you can be and you were upset about what happened. But I also know that your commanding officer would have wanted you to have this, after all that you went through on Elysium. I planned on returning it to you once you’d had some time to heal, emotionally. Then the trial happened.” He placed the box in her hands. “It’s yours, Jane. You should keep it.”

She nodded. “Thank you.”

“No more tears now.” He cupped her cheek. “Go and enjoy yourself. You don’t have to give me an answer about the job yet.”

She pocketed the medal, thanking him again, and wiped away the rest of her tears on her sleeve.

And she knew then what her answer for Castis would be. Regardless of what happened with Nihlus, and as much as she loved running bounties, she would give his offer a chance. She was not the same person who said those terrible things after the trial, she refused to be.

It was time to start moving forward instead of staying frozen in her past.

* * *

 

**[Playlist link](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I'm not saying I cried writing the scene at the end between Castis and Jane, and then again when I edited it, but I definitely did. I love writing their relationship so much, maybe most of all of Shep's relationships, though I did really enjoy writing the exchange between her and Chellick in this chapter as well. 
> 
> Speaking of my good sweet boy Chellick, the wonderful turianeffect on tumblr made an ENTIRE PLAYLIST for my boy. It's really good and I highly recommend checking it out. Post link is http://turianeffect.tumblr.com/post/166785306435/inamorato-a-bounty-inspired-playlist-for
> 
> I went back and forth about the song for the playlist for this chapter but settled on "I'll be Your Mirror" by the Velvet Underground because I think the lyrics are perfect for how Castis feels about Jane and their relationship. I'm not a huge fan of Nico's voice, but it's a good sweet song.
> 
> Thanks to all who've been reading and commenting, as always. Your comments make my day every time I post updates. Sadly, the next chapter is the final chapter (there will also be an epilogue, which is why there are 26 total on the fic summary). So next chapter will be up in a week!


	25. Bounty

**2183**   
**Bachjret Ward - District 42**   
**September 20th**

The intel that would eventually lead to Nihlus Kryik’s capture came from Liara. It arrived without fanfare on a private server Tali had set up a few weeks earlier specifically to receive encrypted messages securely, to keep both Nihlus and C-sec from gaining access to the information.

Shepard had no doubt, given Chellick’s knowledge of Liara, and given Shepard’s own reputation, that C-sec would be monitoring her comms. She couldn’t blame them, but she’d circumvented them with Tali’s help anyway. She still hadn’t decided what she would do if and when she got the information: give it to C-sec or take a second shot at hunting him down herself? Either way, she wanted first access to it so the decision  _ would _ be hers to make.

They were eating breakfast when Tali announced the news. It was Shepard’s first time back home in several days, though Garrus had spent the night. It wasn’t particularly comfortable for him, forced to either share Shepard’s tiny bed in a room she shared with Jack or else sleep on the couch: he had opted for the couch this time, but it wasn’t built with turians in mind. That morning, he was the groggiest of the bunch, nursing a mug of coffee while Shepard and Thane discussed house finances and what kind of bounties they could run to make ends meet.

Tali had been idly flipping through the data on her omni-tool when she let out an exclamation and nearly spilled her coffee all over the table.

“Shepard!  _ Shepard! _ ” She gasped.

Shepard and Thane stopped talking and turned their attention to her.

“What is it?”

“Liara just sent a data package through the private connection we established. It has a set of coordinates. She said her scanning protocol predicts with 99.9% certainty that we’ll be able to find Nihlus there.”

Shepard’s heart was suddenly pounding; she felt frozen in her seat. “What...what did you say?” The words left her mouth in barely more than a whisper. Garrus’ fingers curled around her own in a gesture of support, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of Tali.

“I have the coordinates here. She’s been tracking the movement of his men. He’s built a hideout in district 50. Dangerous place, but easy to hide. What should we do with the data, Shepard? Should we move out? Do you want me to alert Aria?”

Aria had reached out once since the kidnapping to thank Shepard in the kindest way she knew how, though her words were still blunt and aggressive. It was obvious she was grateful that Nyreen was alive, but she hadn’t mentioned any further plans against Nihlus. She had, however, made a comment about Shepard’s involvement with C-sec. It was possible she knew Shepard might give any info on Nihlus to C-sec; likely, she was using her own channels to collect intel. Shepard didn’t mind; Aria was powerful, but unpredictable, and after everything that had happened since the warehouse, she would only be another complication if it came down to it. She would rather have her friends at her side in the final chase.

“Don’t tell Aria. I...I don’t know.” Shepard shook her head. “I need to think about it.”

“What’s there to think about?” Jack demanded. “We know where he is.”

“Yes. And last time we knew his whereabouts, Shepard and Garrus nearly died.” Thane pointed out. “It is wise for you to consider all options, siha.”

“Oh, fuck that,” Jack hissed. “You almost got killed because you weren’t ready. You rushed in with barely any backup and you froze because it was the first time you’d seen him. Look, if you talked him out of killing Chellick, you can handle another showdown. I say we grab our gear and fuck him up.”

“I like Jack’s plan. She thinks like a krogan.” Wrex piped in.

“Nah, I’m with Thane on this one,” Jacob said. “If we  _ are _ going to go after him, we should think about the best plan of attack. But, as much as it pains me to say this, C-sec might be a better option. They’ve got the manpower and the tactical skills to extract him.”

“C-sec could screw it up just as easily,” Zaeed noted from his spot on the couch. “A bunch of goddamn trigger-happy idiots with…”

“Shepard,” Garrus said softly. “What do  _ you _ want to do?”

She looked to him, finding some comfort in the soft warmth behind his eyes. “I know you think I should do this. That I shouldn’t get C-sec involved.”

“It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s your battle. Whatever you choose, I’ll help you.” He squeezed her hand.

It was an enormously difficult decision. Chellick had promised her a metaphorical key to Nihlus’ cell if they captured him, but she was sure Castis would have him extracted to the high-security prison in district 12 before Chellick ever got the chance. What if this was her last chance to get revenge? A revenge she was no longer singularly confident in.

She had thought and dreamed for so long about ripping Nihlus open the same way he had done to her, but recently, all she could think about was what came next. What, once she had dug her blade into his chest and tore him open, would she do? She’d made up her mind that she would accept Castis’ offer, but she wasn’t confident the offer would still stand if she went after Nihlus.

What if she sent the data to C-sec but went after him too? A race to see who got there first. If C-sec won, she would concede and let them take care of it. If Chellick gave her access to the cell, she could make a decision then, if not, so be it.

“Shepard?” Tali’s voice broke her from her thoughts.

She felt overwhelmed by the choice. “I...I don’t know.”

“Time is kind of an important factor here, Shepard.” Garrus pointed out. “I know it’s not an easy decision to make after everything that’s happened, but if we wait too long, we risk Nihlus leaving these coordinates. Or Aria could find out and go after him herself, or C-sec, or…”

“I almost lost you the last time we went after him, Garrus. And then I almost lost Chellick. No.” She stood up, her mind suddenly made up. “No, I...I want to see him dead more than anyone else, but not enough to risk any of our lives again. I’m through with being selfish. It’s all I’ve been for the last five years. I won’t risk any of you. You’re my family. It means so much to me that all of you would take a risk like this for me, but I won’t let you. I’m going to give the data to Chellick. He promised me a chance for my revenge...I owe him this.”

Garrus sighed. “If you think that’s the right choice.”

“I know it is.” She cupped her hand against his scarred mandible. “I can’t risk losing you Garrus. I finally have something I’m invested in besides my revenge. I won’t ruin that.”

“Then let’s go.”

* * *

The C-sec station was bustling when they arrived. Shepard had never seen the lobby so full, officers crammed into their desks poring over comms and security footage, many of them looking overworked and exhausted. Lawson was manning the front desk when they entered, dark circles beneath her eyes as she scanned through a stack of datapads.

She glanced up upon their arrival and forced a weak smile. “Haven’t seen you since the party, Shepard. How’ve you been holding up?”

Shepard was all nerves, the data on Nihlus stored in an OSD in her pocket. She was barely aware she was being addressed.

“Huh? Oh. I’m...okay. Is Chellick here?”

“Back in his office. Garrus, your father...er, the executor was looking for you earlier. I told him you were working a later shift today.”

Garrus let out a groan. “Is he still around?”

“Last I saw him he was reviewing the weapons cache with Bareno.”

He turned to Shepard and gripped her shoulder. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’d rather discuss this with Chellick alone. I’ll meet you back out here when it’s done.”

He nodded and they parted ways, Garrus making for the other side of the station where the weapons cache was located, and Shepard heading down the back hallway toward Chellick’s office. 

She hurried past the back office, where Alenko and Williams were seated at their terminals, not stopping long enough to let them catch sight of her. Chellick’s door was closed, but unlocked, so she let herself in to find him hunched over his desk staring blankly at his terminal screen with heavy eyelids. His eyes flicked to the door as it opened and his mandibles flicked into the smallest hint of a smile.

“Shepard.” It was the warmest greeting he’d given her in ages. A far cry from the ‘what the fuck are you doing here?’ she’d received the last time she’d shown up to the station uninvited. He must have noticed the tension she was carrying because his brow plates shifted and he said, “Are you okay?”

She sat down at the chair in front of his desk and shrugged. “I’m...I don’t know.”

“What’s going on?”

“You look really tired, Chellick. You still running on stims?”

“Don’t deflect.” He growled.

Fuck if he didn’t know her too well. “I can’t worry about you?”

“Yes, I’m still running on stims. I haven’t slept in three days. I spend all my time in this station, most of it back in this shitty little office with no windows. My legs fucking  _ ache _ all the time.” He rubbed his brow plate.

“Castis should give you some time off. After everything you’ve been through and…”

“A pipe dream.” He waved his hand. “No one’s resting until we find Nihlus. Answer my question, Shepard. Something’s clearly bothering you.”

She wrung her hands and sighed. “I never thought this would all be so hard, you know? I thought that maybe one day, if I was lucky, I’d finally hunt Nihlus down and I’d pin him to the ground just like he did to me and I’d dig my omni-blade through his chest and splay him open and it’d be over. I spent so long thinking about that day that I never thought about all the ways it could go wrong, that I never really had a plan, that I didn’t know what would come after.”

“Shepard?”

“I’m sorry for how I treated you after the trial, Chellick. I never told you that. I took you for granted so many times in the last five years. I just want you to know that I’m sorry.”

“You were upset. I’ve barely thought about it since then. Things worked out.” He shrugged. “What’s causing all this?”

“I was so angry after the trial,” she continued. “I let that anger consume me. I’d lost everyone I cared about over and over. I never imagined that when my chance finally came...that I’d have this many people that I cared about...that cared about me. A...a family.” She fingered the OSD in her pocket. “I thought I had nothing to lose back then. But now I have everything. It’s too much to risk. I almost lost two of the people I care about most in this stupid fucking shitheap of a station.”

Chellick sighed. “Shepard, I know you blame yourself for a lot of what’s happened. And, sure, some of it was your fault, but...you couldn’t have known what Nihlus would do to me. You’ve done your best. You…”

She withdrew the OSD and placed it on his desk, momentarily silencing him.

“What…?” he asked after a few seconds’ pause.

“From Liara. Coordinates for Nihlus’ hideout. It’s in district 50, very edge of the ward. You’ll want to tell Castis and he’ll want to bring as much backup as he can while still being discreet.” She laughed without meaning to. “As if he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Chellick blinked several times, his mandibles twitching. “Excuse me?”

“Tali got the intel today on a private channel, but that doesn’t mean others won’t find out sooner or later, Aria chief among them. You should move quickly.”

He snatched the OSD as though she might change her mind if he didn’t act fast enough. “Why are you giving this to me?”

“You promised me you’d give me a chance for revenge if I let you take care of this. After all we’ve been through together, after all you’ve done for me, you deserve this. I can’t risk losing Garrus again, or any the rest of my family for that matter. I know Castis and his squad will get this done right.” She felt an immediate sense of relief now that the OSD was in Chellick’s hands.

“I don’t even know what to say, Shepard. I didn’t think you’d give up the opportunity to do this yourself. I was hoping you would, but I also know how fucking stubborn you are.”

“Watching you and Garrus nearly die woke me up.” She shrugged.

Chellick wheeled himself around to the front of the desk. “I’ll give the data to Castis immediately. They’ll have a squad out within the hour. I don’t know what will happen afterward. I can’t promise you I’ll have access to his cell. Castis might anticipate our plans and I’m sure he’ll want to have Nihlus in a high-security facility as soon as possible.”

She nodded solemnly. “I know. Do what you can.”

“If I have the code to his cell, I swear to you I’ll let you in. I can contact you as soon as I know.”

“That’s all I ask.” She stood up and kissed his forehead. “Keep me posted.”

* * *

Whatever happened after Chellick gave the data to Castis, neither Garrus nor Shepard were privy to the information. Garrus was scheduled for a later shift than usual, forced to sit at his desk while half the station was out hunting down Nihlus; his shift was over before any of them returned.

Shepard whittled away the hours with her fellow bounty hunters until Garrus had finished work, then she joined him at his apartment, but the waiting was the same either way. Every time Tali or Thane had tried to make conversation, she’d barely been able to process what they were saying; when Garrus tried to ask her how she was feeling, she’d responded with shrugs. 

He tried to get her to eat, but she couldn’t think about food; he suggested turning on the news to see if they were reporting about Nihlus, but the thought made her stomach tighter than it already was. She would wait for Chellick to contact her, plain and simple.

She knew the extraction of such a wanted criminal could take time, but she’d never imagined how many hours could pass, and at such an agonizingly slow rate. Once, she’d brought up her omni-tool to message Chellick, but then she’d stowed it away. The day cycle waned into night, and by then, Chellick was likely already home. She could have gone up to his apartment as easily as messaging him, but for once in her life, she was exercising patience.

Or maybe she was just too afraid of what he might have to say: that they didn’t manage to capture Nihlus, that Castis had locked him away in a high-security cell and she’d never see her revenge, that he’d been shot by some nameless C-sec officer during the recovery mission and that was that.

Garrus tried to coax her into bed, to get some rest. He reasoned that it could be hours more until they heard anything, but sleep sounded as unappealing as food. She’d joined him, but while he slept, she lay awake next to him, staring at the ceiling, feeling her heart beating in her ears.

She was so close to the end of all of this and it terrified her more than anything had in a very long time.

When her comm link rang, she was on the precipice of sleep, in a daze, the weight of her eyelids winning out over her anxiety. The sound startled her, sending her heartbeat racing as she sat up, confused, to identify the source of the beeping. Beside her, Garrus groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“What is that?” His subharmonics creaked with drowsiness.

“Fuck. It’s Chellick.” Her fingers felt thick and clumsy as she fumbled with the comm link, finally managing to answer the call.

“Shepard?” Chellick’s voice sounded on the other line.

“Chellick. Do you have news?” She was vaguely aware that her voice was trembling.

“They got him. Took down or brought in forty of his men as well. We had him in holding at the station for about thirty minutes but now they’ve got him up at the high-security prison in district 12.”

Shepard wilted. “Oh.”

“Oh? That’s it?” Chellick huffed. “I just told you we captured Nihlus fucking Kryik and all you can say is ‘oh’?”

“If he’s in the high-security prison…”

“Yeah, you think I’m just going to sit on my ass and do nothing about it? I got the code for his cell. They’ve got constant surveillance outside of it, but I can take care of that. Meet me there in an hour. Bring whatever you need to bring.”

“Chellick...are you serious?” She gasped.

“Yes, and time is a commodity here, Shepard. I’ll see you soon.” He severed the connection.

Shepard was having a hard time processing the reality of the situation. In an hour, she would have uncontrolled access to Nihlus Kryik. She would be able to do whatever she wanted without fear of a rocket launcher, or an omni-blade to the abdomen. Five years she had spent dreaming of this day and now it was a reality.

“I’ll come with you.” Garrus was already out of bed and changing.

She recognized that it could complicate Chellick’s ability to get them past security if she brought Garrus along, but she needed him by her side. In the cell, it would only be Nihlus and her, but at least until then, she could have the comfort of Garrus’ support.

“As if I’d let you stay behind.” She replied, finally feeling a little of the confidence that her nervousness had sapped her of.

“There’s the Shepard I know.”

* * *

For as slowly as the hours had crept by since Shepard handed the OSD to Chellick, the trip to district 12 was a blur. She let Garrus handle the coordinates, answered him with nods and one-word responses as he talked in the shuttle, but her mind was preoccupied with the decision she would make once she was in Nihlus’ cell. Why did her conscience have to consider this decision so thoroughly now, when it had been such a sure thing before?

Chellick was waiting for them outside the prison. He was able to escort them past security and into the elevator. Nihlus’ cell was near the top of the towering prison, behind several heavily guarded steel doors. 

The guards barely acknowledged them as they passed, nor did they check Shepard for weapons. She wondered how Chellick had managed to get so many officers to turn a blind eye; he was good at bending the rules, but was he really  _ that _ good? The answer came quickly enough as the stepped into the antechamber leading to Nihlus’ cell.

Castis stood waiting for them, tall and imposing, arms folded across his chest. Shepard was too startled by the sight of him to do or say much of anything, though Garrus had the good sense to look embarrassed. Was this all an elaborate scheme to see if she would give into her base desires for revenge? Would Chellick really betray her like that?

“Jane.” Castis approached her.

“What’s...what’s going on here?” She looked to Chellick.

“I asked Chellick to bring you here. He approached me after we apprehended Nihlus, more or less begged for the opportunity to bring you in. I labored over the decision for some time, but…” Castis sighed. “Everyone in this room has a personal stake in this story, Jane. I try my hardest to be impartial as executor, to serve justice by the book. Allowing a known criminal unrestricted access to a high-security prisoner’s cell breaks about a million C-sec protocols.”

“Protocols don’t matter here,” Garrus growled. “She’s-”

“Let me finish,” Castis interrupted. “It breaks more protocols than I can count, but that doesn’t matter right now. I know how what he did changed you, Jane, but I’ve also seen how you’ve overcome it. You’re so much more than this trauma, so much more than you thought you would ever be during all those days of recovery.”

“Castis.” Shepard’s stomach was in knots.

“I’m letting you into his cell. Regardless of whether or not I agree with it, you deserve this opportunity. This is your past to bury. I won’t stop you from what you want to do.”

Well that was one hell of a shock.

He turned to the cell door, thick steel, unlike the comparatively flimsy glass ones back at the district 42 station, and tapped in the code to unlock it. The result was an affirmative chirp. 

“Shepard, do you...are you going to be okay?” Garrus hovered next to her.

She nodded. “I need to do this alone.”

“I understand. I’ll be here if you need me.”

As she approached the door to the cell, overcome with a rush of emotions, she stopped in front of Castis.

“I...I don’t know what to do, Castis. I thought I would know when the time came and now I’m here and I don’t know. I was so sure for so long. What do I do?” She felt like a child then, lost and looking to him for guidance.

He simply shook his head. “I know it must be hard, Jane, but this is something you have to decide for yourself. Whatever you do...I’ll make sure there aren’t repercussions.”

All she could manage was the weakest, ‘thank you’, then she entered the cell and shut the door behind her.

Nihlus waited within, holochains around his wrists and ankles and neck, more or less pinned against the wall with a cot to support him. He watched her with an inscrutable expression as she stood against the opposite wall and observed him.

“So here we are.” He spoke first.

“I’ve thought about this moment every day since you gutted me on Elysium,” she told him. “Dreamed about what I would do to you when I finally got the chance.”

“So do it. Why waste your breath?” His voice was strained, a note of fatigue issuing from his subvocals. “Just finish this.”

“Are you that ready to die, Nihlus?”

“I’ve been ready to die since Elysium,” he spat. “Every moment has been borrowed time, living because I was too much of a coward to kill myself, because part of me wanted to finish what I started with you, but mostly because life has a stubborn insistence on persevering. I wanted to live even while I wished I was dead. Saren would have been disappointed me if I’d let myself die. But this is the end now. Dying by your hand is preferable to rotting in this cell for the rest of my life.”

Shepard stared at him: his cracked facial plates, his fading clan markings, his heavy eyelids; the way the last five years had aged him was astounding.

“Isn’t this all a bit melodramatic? Losing a lover, I get it...it’s sad, but people move on.” She folded her arms, still undecided about what to do. He wasn’t the pure evil she’d thought, that much was certain, but was it enough to undo five years of hatred?

“Move on?” Nihlus scoffed. “Typical human. Your kind treats everything like it’s disposable, why would your relationships be any different? Saren and I were  _ bonded _ .” That  _ was _ a surprise, but as far as Shepard knew, turian bonding was more or less equivalent to marriage; widowers remarried all the time.

“And?”

“Surrounded by turians and you don’t know anything about us? Another human attribute: selfishness.” There was nothing but disgust behind Nihlus’ eyes. “Turians mate for life. Saren was my life partner. We may have disagreed, he may have taken advantage of my naivety at times, but we were still partners. For life. There  _ is _ no one else for me. He was it. Every body to warm my bed since Elysium has meant nothing. I’ll never love anyone else and now I’ve lost my freedom too. So kill me  _ Jane. _ Make it slow if you have to, I wouldn’t begrudge you that, but just do it. What else do I have to live for?”

Suddenly, killing him felt a hell of a lot less like revenge and more like a mercy: a mercy Shepard was not big enough to grant. He had hurt her, he had violated her in a way she’d never been violated, left her to die, forced her through months upon months of rehabilitation, and left her with a lasting mental illness she would carry with her always. 

But tearing him open wouldn’t change any of that. Killing him wouldn’t undo what happened on Elysium, it wouldn’t bring Anderson back, it wouldn’t cure her anxiety, it wouldn’t fix Garrus’ scarred face. All it would achieve was giving him what he wanted, a reprieve from a long battle against himself.

“I’m not going to kill you, Nihlus.”

His eyes widened. “ _ What?” _

It seemed he had been as sure of it as she once was.

“I said I’m not going to kill you. I’ve matured a lot in the last five years, but I’m afraid I’m just not quite selfless enough to be merciful here. I hope you live to be two hundred years old, Nihlus, and I hope you spend every waking moment of those years thinking about the way Saren’s blood sprayed from his throat when I killed him. And if you’re not thinking about that, you can think about how happy I am, because I won’t let this haunt me anymore. I’m done with it. I’m burying you here and now. And while you rot away in this cell for the rest of your life, I’ll be out there, with people who love me and care about me. Elysium won’t define me anymore.

“You can make every excuse about what happened on Elysium, but the fact of the matter is you still  _ chose _ to be there. You  _ chose _ to help Saren round up those people to sell them into slavery. You  _ chose _ to side with a murderer and you  _ chose _ to hunt me down and try to kill me. Your actions led you here, Nihlus. So fuck you. I won’t let you get out of this pain that easily, not after all the pain you caused me. You can die in this fucking cell an old man with the burden of all your choices. This is over.”

With that, she stepped out of the cell and shut the door behind her, just in time to hear a scream of rage before it was drowned out by the heavy steel door.

Castis, Chellick, and Garrus stood in the antechamber waiting for her.

“You didn’t kill him?” Garrus brow plates shifted. “I don’t...I don’t understand, Shepard.”

“Killing him would have been a mercy. He didn’t deserve it.” She turned to Castis. “It’s over.”

He nodded. “I’m proud of the choice you made, Jane.”

“I’m so tired of letting Elysium define me. I’m ready to move on. Castis, I want to take you up on your offer. As far as I’m concerned, Nihlus is finally buried. I’m ready...” she took a deep breath, “I’m ready to think about the future instead of the past.”

Castis squeezed her shoulder and surprised her with a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “I’m so glad to hear that. But we can work that out later. It’s nearly morning and this case has worn on all of us. Why don’t we go down to the lower ward and get some breakfast...maybe talk about something besides Nihlus Kryik.”

Shepard nodded. “I’d like that.”

He led the way out of the prison, Chellick by his side, and Shepard and Garrus trailing close behind. Garrus hooked his hand in hers, her fingers splayed between his, a comfortable fit despite their mismatched digits; the feeling of his skin against hers was grounding, a comfort she needed more than anything.

As they made their way for the diner in the lower ward, Shepard couldn’t help but feel that for the first time in a long time, she wasn’t scared of what the future held, even though it was still a great unknown. It didn’t matter, because she wouldn’t be facing it alone anymore.

She had a family now, and her life was more bountiful than she could have ever imagined.

* * *

 

**[Fic playlist link](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, end notes are gonna be a little wordy this chapter. Well. All that's left for this fic now is an epilogue I plan on posting in a week. I've had so much fun writing this fic and seeing all the wonderful comments people have left and I've especially been really touched by how much people seem to love Chellick, since I probably put the most of myself into his character. I've grown so super attached to this Jane and Garrus, and to their relationship with Castis. I'm so glad you've all enjoyed this fic and I'm still honestly kind of blown away by the response to it? Literally every chapter when I get e-mail notifications for comments I think "wtf...people like my stuff???" so just a huge thanks to everyone who has read and enjoyed this fic. 
> 
> I know a lot of you probably really wanted Jane to kill Nihlus and get her revenge, and I labored over that decision for a while, but I felt like, for her character growth, this ending was the most appropriate. Castis was there with her from the beginning of her journey and it felt right for him to be the one to help her see it through to the end. What matters to me is that at the end of it all, she found happiness. So hopefully y'all aren't too upset by the choice she made.
> 
> For the penultimate song on the playlist (I'll still add a song for the epilogue) I thought it would be good and obvious to round it out with another Fiona Apple song. Some choice lyrics that I think suit Jane's character growth:
> 
> "I noticed that my opponent is always on the go  
> And  
> Won't go slow, so 's not to focus, and I notice  
> He'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as  
> They go fast from whence he came  
> But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so  
> He can't stop staying exactly the same"
> 
> "I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day  
> You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay  
> I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say  
> I've been getting along for long before you came into the play"
> 
> "Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side?  
> It's very kind  
> But it's to no avail; and I don't want the bail  
> I promise you, everything will be just fine
> 
> If there was a better way to go then it would find me  
> I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me  
> Be kind to me, or treat me mean  
> I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine"
> 
> Epilogue up in a week :)


	26. Epilogue

**2185**   
**Presidium - District 2**   
**April 11th**

Jane Shepard had been in some fairly dangerous situations in her life. Six years as an Alliance marine, four years as a bounty hunter, and another year and a half as head of C-sec hostage and crisis negotiation had seen her backed into corners and up against walls time and time again, but none of her experience or training could quite prepare her for a situation as dire as the one she currently found herself in.

None of those situations had been quite so  _ frilly _ and  _ pink _ either.

She had long since learned that certain sacrifices had to be made for family, but  _ this... _ this was maybe too far.

“Are you ever going to come out of there?” Garrus’ voice sounded from the other side of the changing room where Shepard currently found herself trapped, gaping at her own reflection.

“I don’t understand this dress.” She ran her hands over the layers of hideous silk and tulle. “Your sister always dresses so fashionably.”

“It can’t be  _ that _ bad.” Garrus huffed. “You’ve been in there for fifteen minutes.”

“It looks like a hanar mated with a tutu and someone skinned their offspring.”

“ _ Shepard _ . Really? Just come out.”

“Okay, but you  _ can’t _ laugh.”

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep. Come on. What’s the human expression? Just rip off the medical gauze.”

“Not quite, big guy. All right. I’m coming out.” She gathered up the thick skirts of the dress and swung the door open, revealing herself in all her stupendous pink glory to her waiting boyfriend.

His immediate response was a snort, which he at least had the decency to cover with his hand while his mandibles twitched with silent laughter. She gave him a withering look and struggled forward in the massive dress.

“ _ What _ is your sister thinking?”

“I’m pretty sure Palarah picked out the dresses.” Garrus couldn’t suppress a giggle as he spoke.

“When this wedding is over, I’m burning this thing,” she announced. “It’ll be ceremonial. Tali can burn hers too. She  _ warned me _ they were bad, but she wouldn’t send me a picture when I asked. At least she gets to wear hers over her enviro-suit. She can take it off for the reception. Who would have guessed someone as butch as Palarah would want bridesmaids in these hideous monstrosities?”

“Makes me grateful I just have to wear a pink tie. Go on. Change back into your regular clothes and we’ll buy it. Will it even fit in the closet?” He cocked his head.

“We might need to move into a new apartment just to make space for this dress.”

Shepard retreated back into the dressing room, thankful she could remove the offending garment.

“Well don’t take too long getting out of that thing. We’re supposed to meet Chellick and Ash for lunch at fourteen hundred hours.”

“Don’t tell me we’re going to Taste of Palaven again. I love you, Garrus, but I can’t handle anymore Palaveni food for at least two weeks.”

“No. Chellick suggested it, but Ash said something similar,” he explained. “Then I suggested we meet at Carney’s in Zakera ward because Alenko and Tali were going to be there, but Chellick said they didn’t want to trek all the way to Zakera so…”

“Can you get to the point?”

“Anyway, I convinced them to meet us up here on the Presidium at that dual-chirality French restaurant you like.”

Shepard was happy with that solution. As much as she would have liked to see Tali and Alenko, Zakera was a long shuttle ride and she was hungry; meeting on the Presidium was much more preferable.

Once the dress had been removed and shoved into the biggest box the store offered, they had it shipped down to Bachjret via delivery drone and made their way to the French cafe in district 4.

Chellick and Ash were already waiting for them at a booth near a window that overlooked the Presidium gardens. They sidled from the booth to exchange hugs before everyone shuffled back into place.

When Chellick had first decided to pursue Ash, on Shepard’s suggestion, it had not been the smoothest start to a relationship. She wasn’t aware of Chellick’s past with Shepard, but she was a stickler for rules and had been unhappy to hear about Garrus’ relationship with Shepard. If she had known that her  _ captain _ had broken far worse protocol, she might just have turned in her resignation.

Being so dedicated to the rules, she had rebuffed Chellick’s advances at first. Chellick was never one to pursue someone who wasn’t interested, and for a few months, any sign of the relationship had stagnated. Things finally came to fruition at a party Garrus and Shepard threw right after she moved in with him. Ash and Chellick were both a little tipsy, Ash apologized for being so harsh towards him, he apologized if he had made her uncomfortable, and somehow, they both left the party early and wound up in Chellick’s apartment several floors up in the same building.

That was more than a year ago, and since then, they’d both had a positive effect on each other. Chellick eventually told her the truth about his relationship with Shepard, which had nearly ended _ their _ relationship, and made her exceptionally icy toward Shepard for several weeks, but they repaired the situation after a lot of talking and some time apart and that had been that. Ash had learned to loosen up a bit and occasionally bent the rules, if the situation could really truly benefit from it. In turn, Chellick had become a lot less self-loathing, and a little more diligent about what he let slide under the radar. Plus, Ash was incredibly  _ strong-willed _ (“bossy”, if you asked some of her fellow officers), and Chellick liked taking orders.

Shepard was just glad to see him happy for once.

“So how was the bridesmaid’s dress?” Ash asked.

“God awful.” 

She laughed. “Yeah, I know. Tali already sent me a picture of it.”

“What!? She wouldn’t send me one!” Shepard huffed.

“She wanted it to be a surprise.”

“I can’t  _ wait _ to see you in that thing, Shepard. Ash showed me the pic Tali sent. It’s  _ just _ your style.” Chellick snickered.

“I can and will rip your mandibles in half.” Shepard warned.

“Empty threats, every time. You’ll have to wear it to the wedding and then I’ll take about five thousand pictures for posterity. I’ll send them to you when you’re being especially pissy.”

Garrus snorted. “That’s not a bad idea.”

“I’m glad you’re all deriving such sick pleasure from my suffering.”

“Come on, you should just be happy Solana wants you to be in the wedding. That’s a sign that you’re an honorary Vakarian.”

“Please, I was an honorary Vakarian way before this.” Shepard waved her hand dismissively. “Speaking of your family. Solana said Castis has been hounding her about  _ grandchildren _ .” She laughed. “They’re not even married yet. He does know if they have kids they’ll all be asari right?”

“Hm,” Garrus nodded. “I think he’d be happy with anything at this point. He keeps saying ‘I’m not getting any younger’. And he’s retiring this year, so I don’t think he knows what to do with freetime. Grandkids would be good, but Solana doesn’t want kids for at least ten years, and it’s not like Palarah has to rush.”

“I can’t imagine that,” Ash said. “Having a kid that’s biologically yours, but...doesn’t have any of your DNA. It’s crazy to think about.”

“Who knows, they might adopt anyway.” Garrus shrugged.

“Well, at least the heat’s on them and not us.”

Garrus coughed and tugged at the front of his cowl. “Sure.”

“What does that mean?” Shepard cocked her head.

“Uh-oh.” Chellick muttered. Both he and Ash looked with sudden interest at their menus as the conversation unfolded.

“Garrus?” Shepard asked again.

“It’s not important. Just...my dad’s not only on Solana’s case.”

“What, he wants  _ us _ to have kids?” She balked.

“No.”

“Then what?”

“Shepard, can we talk about this somewhere else?” Garrus begged.

“Just tell me!”

“He keeps asking when the hell I’m going to ask you to bond with me!” He blurted.

Shepard’s face flushed red and she looked at her hands to avoid looking at Garrus. They had discussed that kind of commitment before, but never at length, and never with much serious thought behind it. 

Settling their lives after everything that happened with Nihlus had been their first priority. Once their relationship was stable, moving in together had been a huge step. But turians didn’t marry with the same degree of frivolity that humans did. Turians  _ bonded _ , and they bonded for life. The idea of  _ forever _ might have scared her with anyone else, but with Garrus it felt almost inevitable. Who else could she ever be with? She loved him so completely. 

Still, a year and a half together seemed far too short for forever. What if she just  _ couldn’t _ ? She wasn’t a turian, maybe she wasn’t cut out for it.

She was certainly surprised to hear that Castis was so invested in it. There had been a time when he was so adamantly opposed to their relationship that she thought he might drive a wedge between them. However, since she and Castis had mended their own relationship, he had slowly warmed to the idea of them. But being supportive and actively  _ wanting  _ them to be together were two very different things.

“So, uh...how’s crisis response going, Shepard?” Chellick mercifully changed the subject.

She cleared her throat. “Good. I’m really enjoying it. I feel like I’m actually making a difference and it pays a hell of a lot better than sporadic bounties.”

“I’ll bet. Your asshole friends moved out of that shitheap yet?”

Tali had moved in with Alenko a few months prior, but Thane, Jack, Zaeed, Jacob, and Wrex still lived in the rundown little apartment in district 42. Every month, Shepard would transfer a sum of credits to Thane in an effort to help them out now that she no longer lived with them, and every month Thane would transfer the credits back and thank her for thinking of them. She kept it up anyway; it was the thought that counted and there might come a time where he couldn’t afford to refuse her help.

“Yeah, most of them. Jack’s loving having a room to herself, though. I think she finally gave up on Lawson too.”

“Took her long enough.”

“How’s Lawson doing anyway?”

Chellick shrugged. “Fine, last I heard. I think she’s glad she transferred up to the Presidium. They were talking about making her a captain up there; she’s better suited for that.” 

Ash piped in with a story she’d heard about Lawson’s work, which somehow drifted into a story about the last perp they’d brought in to the district 42 station, but soon enough the conversation about Garrus and Shepard’s relationship was forgotten, or at least stored away to be discussed later.

Lunch ran late as the four of them stayed talking long after their food was finished. Afterward, Garrus invited Chellick and Ash back to their apartment for some cake, without addressing that it was cake meant for Shepard’s birthday. She had never been one for celebrating the passing of another year, but Garrus had repeatedly insisted that he at least be allowed to get her a cake. She had submitted and he had delivered: dual-chirality chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting.

The shuttle ride back to the apartment was short and relaxing. Chellick and Ash complained, without much gusto, about bureaucratic problems the District 42 station had been facing; Garrus piped in occasionally, but mostly remained silent.

Once they arrived, they made their way up to Garrus and Shepard’s apartment and Garrus typed in the passcode to unlock the door. Shepard thought his hands appeared to be shaking and she wondered why, but the answer came only seconds after the door opened.

“SURPRISE!”

Their tiny, one-bedroom apartment was filled with friends and fellow C-sec officers, scattered around the room with balloons and noisemakers, a large cake on the table in the center of the room.

Shepard nearly burst into tears.

For as much as she had begged Garrus not to do anything for her birthday, the sight of so many people who loved and cared about her, there to celebrate with her, was overwhelming, but much appreciated. She hadn’t had a real, honest-to-God birthday party since she was a teenager on Mindoir and that had been a lifetime ago.

“I know you asked me not to, but…” Garrus placed a hand on her shoulder.

She smiled and kissed his cheek softly. “Thank you.”

The afternoon was a whirlwind. She spent a few minutes talking with Jack and Zaeed, listening as they regaled her with a story of their most recent bounty. Jack repeatedly asked if it made Shepard jealous, a very transparent effort to get her to come back to bounty hunting. Shepard did miss it some days, but she loved what she did now, and she was sure she was making a bigger difference in the lives she saved on crisis response than she ever did running bounties.

Wrex wrestled her from the conversation with Jack and Zaeed to bring her into an argument he was having with Solana and Palarah about armor models, an argument Shepard had little interest in, though she did take the time to complain at length about the bridesmaid dress, which only caused Solana and Palarah to burst into a fit of childish giggles.

It seemed like hours before Shepard finally got a quiet moment to herself. She leaned against the wall in the corner of their living room and sipped a drink, observing the chatter of her friends and family with a sense of complete contentment.

“Happy birthday, Jane.”

She looked up to find Castis suddenly at her side, though she had not seen him at all that afternoon, and never noticed him enter. He must have arrived late while she was wrapped up in a conversation.

“I’m assuming your son enlisted your help in planning this.”

Castis shook his head and shrugged. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Well...thank you. I told him I didn’t want to do anything for my birthday, but it’s nice. I never thought I’d have a moment where I felt this happy, you know?” She smiled. “It didn’t seem possible two years ago.”

“You’ve come a long way. I’m proud of you.” Castis stood beside her and observed the party.

For a moment, neither of them said anything, the noise of the other guests filling the silence.

“So...Garrus said you were on his case about us.” Shepard spoke first.

Castis’ subvocals rumbled and he waited a moment before he replied. “It...would make me very happy if you were a permanent part of our family.”

“Are you afraid I’ll run again, Castis? I won’t. I don’t need to bond with Garrus to promise you that.”

“I know. And I trust you, Jane. It’s...a more basic desire than that.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked down at her and his mandibles twitched. “It would be an honor to be able to call you my daughter.” At this, her face flushed and she stared at her feet. “Besides,” Castis cleared his throat, “No one else is good enough for my son.”

This made her laugh. How short a time it seemed since he had told her he wanted better for Garrus, and yet, it also seemed like ages. 

“Well, you can’t rush these things. We’ll know when we know.”

Castis patted her shoulder and pointed across the room to where Garrus was being accosted by an exceedingly drunk Chellick.

“You should probably go and help him with that.”

She rolled her eyes. “I will. Thanks for coming, Castis.”

After rescuing Garrus from Chellick, Shepard and Garrus shared a piece of cake as the party began to wind down. Slowly, the guests began to file out until they were left with a living room filled with popped balloons and streamers and a half-eaten cake. They cleaned up a bit of the mess, but they were tired, and it wasn’t as if it had to be taken care of immediately.

So they wandered into their bedroom, stripping their clothes off as they went, until they both landed on the bed naked. Shepard snuggled against Garrus, enjoying the warmth his body exuded as he wrapped his arms around her and nestled his head next to hers. Exhausted though they were, their silent snuggling quickly turned to lazy kisses, which in turn led to a little groping until he was on top of her with the headboard knocking into the wall.

Their relationship didn’t necessarily have all the same heat it had started with, but Shepard was all right with that; a lasting, loving relationship couldn’t exist on sex alone. The sex was still  _ phenomenal _ as far as she was concerned, but perhaps less frequent, and certainly less urgent. It wasn’t an exploration of bodies like it had once been; it was the comfortable familiarity of contours and curves they could each trace with their eyes closed, the reminders of all they had gone through, all they had survived at each other’s side.

“So...Castis is really on your case about us, huh?” Shepard asked in the post-coital silence.

“Yeah. Some days I think he likes you better than me. Or else he’s just afraid you’ll run again so he wants me to force you to stay in the family,” Garrus laughed. 

He turned his head to meet Shepard’s gaze, his bright blue eyes boring into her. She never tired of the sight of his eyes, the comfort she found within them.

“Never imagined he’d stop hating me, let alone want me in the family.”

“He never hated you. Just like you never hated him. Anger isn’t the same as hate.”

“Well, I never thought he’d want us to be together, at any rate.” She corrected herself.

Garrus traced his finger delicately against her cheek. “I love you, Shepard.”

She closed her eyes and listened for the gentle hum of his subvocals. “I love you too, Garrus.”

“Shepard?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t want to be with anyone else. Ever. I always used to ask my dad how he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with my mom and he would just say ‘When you know, you know.’”

Shepard opened her eyes again and stared at him, but said nothing.

“ _ I know _ .” He said, after a moment’s silence.

“Yeah. I know too.” She was confident as she said it; knew in that moment that it felt right, even if she wasn’t a turian.

His mandibles flicked into a smile and he placed his head next to hers. “Forever?”

She traced her fingers along the network of scars on his right mandible and sighed happily. 

“Forever.”

* * *

 

**[Final playlist link](https://open.spotify.com/user/nemialmasy/playlist/71tbmfQGnMeoE9OoByvcOC) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between N7 day yesterday and finishing this, I'm a little bit weepy lately. I just wanted to again, and for a final time on this fic, give a huge thank you to everyone who read it, everyone who left kudos and comments. I put a lot of myself into this story, and writing it (as well as just getting involved in the Mass Effect fandom in general) really helped me through a tough time. Reading every single comment honestly made my day.
> 
> I hope you all liked the epilogue. More than anything I wanted to give Jane her happy ending she so desperately deserved. I know not everyone was keen on Chellick and Ash together, but she's bossy and assertive and Chellick would like that...and I wanted him to be happy too.
> 
> Ending this is so very bittersweet, but I'm already working on a new fic about Nihlus, Shepard, and Garrus (and Nihlus isn't evil in this one ha!). Thank you so much from the very bottom of my heart for reading this. I'm sad that it's over, but I had an amazing time writing it and I hope you all enjoyed it as well.


End file.
